The Smize Cream Invention

C. R! and fr Sca R It' fr is Put some lights on Okay, I'm bl It's just teeth and eyes. we need lights. Oh, o, thank goodness. Okay, there's so many more black people than I thought would be firstse crowd, honey, okay? I love that all of my bisexual white men bring their boyfriends Fam's here. Y'all know how to start these shows if you've been to these shows before, But I have to make a brief interruption because I need you to know How goddamn hard it was for me to get here today I love you all so much that I fought through the airport. Apparently y'all had some drone issues yesterday in San Francisco. So then all of our flights were delayed. and I was on the tarmac in Los Angeles and the plane was just driving around I think they wanted us to feel like we were going somewhere. We wasn't going in the sky I was like, at this point, bititch hit the highway 'cause like It ain't that long of a drive. L let's just take the seven hundred and forty seven out, Delta. I also had to give up my business class seat. What was me? What was me Oh no, I can't stand y'all. But they put me in a seat that had like a little curtain to business class 'Ccause you know it's a quick flight so it's not you know layback or nothing. But it was a little curtain that was right in front of my face that said, you're poor Every time a flight attendant would walk past it it would blow in my face But I was like, you know what? I'm coming. I'm coming because I love you. Yes Also, litmus test, how many of you guys walked past that table and didn't steal anything Damn, y'all really didn't steal. Okay, the music was ominous at first. When y'all came in, it was a little scary, so I could see why you didn't wanna steal nothing Yeah, we had to talk to Cody, shout out to Cody. and I was like, can you please put on some crime music? because I think I think the people are getting scared I think they're gonna to think I'm gonna walk out here real slowly and be like Grand Rising. Are you ready to change your life This is a cult. So I you wanted to be in the c. I love that. We need okay, you can be a lieutenant. We need eager participants. It's unpaid, volunteer, but you're gonna get so much out of it. So this is how we always start this show. Church always begins with devotion So if you know it Help me out Especially today, I'm struggling. Come! R Ly and f come He R Thank you We have a beautiful show for you tonight. and I'm so excited to have one of San Francisco's favorite treats H. That makes him sound like a prostitute So you've probably seen him on Graham Crew or you can see him again on the second season of Crowd control coming out on dropout. Please give a very warm welcome to my co host and captive for the evening Jais Nal I gota sing. I gota sing. San. A what what up Hello. What's up, Lacey? Oh my goodness, Deise. Lacey, how you doing That's a loaded question. That's a loaded question. We're here though. Oh we got chicken in the front. Sometimes you know the niggas is gonna have chicken in the front Every nigga got chicken in the front right here. You can't say this in front of this many white people. Wh Why would you say that? I know we got two white people fr Chicken. Everybody loves chicken. So we got salad. you got salad from the second rowback I love it. I love it It's a universal food that everybody loves. You're right, you're right. I love chicken. I love chicken. how? How's the chicken? It's pretty good. It's pretty good. know. y'all y'all find a bird up in here? Okay. Love to see it So I've switched up the show a little bit. Oo. O, this is actually a live recording. M But we know only two getting paid though I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Yeah y' not y'all not gonna give sorry. Y'all listen to y'. You should have stole some shit outside. You still got time? I said steal this You stle something See, see, those are my people. That was the litmus test. You should have stle something. Leave with something. Ecuse me. I put up a whole sign that s, Steal this shall didn't listen to me So now I'm starting the show instead of asking you, Jaquise, what your relationship with scams is because I'd be admitting crimes on this show Yeah, yeah, you do be a min grass. I'm I'm just gonna ask you Is it a scam A scheme. O or a real thing. I love it. I have three little questions for you. All right. So the first one, which honestly is way too poignant today When an airline I wrote the show before I came here. I want to listen, Lacey, I love you. Lacey, M me and Lacey have known each other for like over ten years now. Don't say that many years. I'm a baby I've never known anyone for ten years, not even my own mother That's fair. I'm so sorry. I' womb. You don't see my placenta perm please. I'll see. I'll see you We've known each other for ten months now. And so Lacey, you know I love you, but like you forgot one key part of that. Lacey missed her first flight 'causeuse we were supposed to be on the same flight out here. And I'm like, I'm texting like, Lacey, whereere are you at? Where you at like, baby I missed my flight. I'm like, all right, I'll see you in San Francisco. Stop Areeing with each other. Stop agreeing with each other over there Yes, okay, we were in France and we We had to take really long Uber. So Lacey could have been here at the same time I was here today. would Why would you say that? I mean, you know, listen, before we You're over here talking in front of mixed company. I'm so sorry, you're right. You're right. We got a lot of black people in front. Im forgetting. I can't see the white people, which is the first time you've ever heard that What I like man, Ihing they can' see us. Always see. I'm so sorry. Contue, continontue I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Lacey The people had to know, they had to know Did they? They did. They did. They're endear to you now. How many y Y Is it a scame or is it a real thing? All right. So is it a scam or a game is a real thing? Airlines offering you What I like to call flight books. give up your seat on an overbooked flag Cred the credits. Is it a scam scheme or is it a real thing? I mean now I'll define this for you. Yeah define. Scam is absolutely unequivocally like Fraud. Right, Right, right, right? A schem great know It feels bad but it's legal. Right, right right. You know, like it's like The difference between a ponzi scheme and an MLM. a Pzi scheme. It's a scam MLM If you do it, right, you can get a businessiz out of it. Yeah You know, You get a mercedes. signign up your friends and family to sell leggs and eventually they mortgage their homes And then a real thing is like, we're like, this is a legit thing. like, okay. So how do you feel about giving up I I'll never do it. I'll never do it. It's a scheme. I'm not gonna say it's a scam. I'm not going say it's a scam because you know, they do be giving you the money, but you gott to give me more than like two hundred fifty dollars negative flights. It' five thousand dollars right now. Yeah they are. Gas Gases. Man, I was watching I am Legend a couple days ago and they had like the gas. It was like six something. I was like, rememember when that was the apocalypse That shit is crazy. I've never cra about the strait of Hormz in my life. I never even knew about that shit. and now I know everything about it. I'm like, they gott to find the mines that are under the water. We got. We gotta do stuff. We got do stuff. So so I need more than they be offering they'd be lowballing you. They'd be offering like two f. But then they'll rise it up They'll be like, I three hundred it. Nobody three hundred it A thousand, noobody Mm, six thousand airbooks. I'll be like, me give me one thousand two hundred and fifty dollars plus a first class seat. Okay, well see here's the issue. Yeah When they make you give up your seats, one Okay One thing that we all can know about this, if you actually want to not do what Jaki says, which is not engage. You can negotiate Are you can negotiate? Yes So you can ask for what you want, whatever monetary amount that you want, but you can also ask for a hotel room. What? Yes. And you can also make sure that your flight is rebooked instead of because like they'll throw your ass on standby. Yeah So you gave up your seat, you gave your ass away and they they throwing you on standby. you w in a dam You waiting forever. I feel like this wouldn't work for me. I feel like I'm not attractive enough for this to work for me I feelel like they'd be like Nigo, we said three hundred and fifty There's other people that want this deal. Do you want it or not? I feel like they would shoe me away. But you can do that And also there are blackout dates too. So Typically one No matter how many airbooks they give you You can't fly first. Oh, they put you on the standby. They put you on the standby and then they're gonna put you in coaching and they're gonna have a little the little thing. They what theoney for? They have They gonna have to the little curtain blown in your face. You not you're not gonna be up there You go try to use a bathroom. It's like, no, no, no. H's the poor bathroom back there get me That one don't have sap You can't even have soap. I't have soap, man. S the fucking napkins be all bunched up. You gotta you take one out, eighteen m fuckins come out so s. That's the poor. Okay. So so what you're saying' a schem. It's a scheme. It's a sche thought I feel You can protect yourself. but it is a scheme. So they lowball you first. Yes. And then you gotta just hold out, just sit still. They'll keep rising that Skybucks number up See, here's the problem with that though. Like real talk they just gonna be L' just say no to you and somebody else gonna come and be like, I'll take it No So we need to work together. first person I live in a scarcity mindset.ight You're right. You got this. I need to get up and be like, I got this deal and if anybody come up I. Now you go findight him You're gonna fight up. I'm gonna fight I'm gonna fight you. Damn fight you. Were gonna be fighting. These are recession indicators. Good Lord. now we going fight for the Skybucks. We can't do that For the delta de Blooms? For the deelta to blloms We have five of them delta de blooms, man? We don't even T is tough. Tes is tough, Lacy. Scam scheme or real Tack shop TikTok, what? Shop? Yeah Scam. I'm hearing scam. I'm hearing Yeah, I feel like TikTok. I'm not on TikTok, but like I have bought sh it on like Instagram and shit. I feel like it's probably the same thing. Yeah bought bought bought I bought something and it said like I bought it during Black History Mth and it said, I am Black history, right? And I was like, oh, this is tight. They got you with that. They got me They got me And itK was like you're a Caucasian man. Ans was They got me, they got me. I was like, you know what I am, Black history Thank you for telling me that on Instagram. I'm blackking the shirt, up buy the shirt. But that shirt is looking tight on the on the post And it looked like it had like little leather sh. That shit was screenressed. on a shit. had like the wors was like little like fabric. the model was looking so they hot ironed it on there. Yeah it was screen pressed on there. Yeah it was screen pressed too do that. It felt like a jersey. Honestly, Jaquise, the reason I'm saying this is because I've done this scam myself During the height of twenty twenty, I was selling legalized black T shirts And the money went to black I'm bllack, so how you going say My went to you P to black You know what And that makes it a real thing That makes it a real thing. Real thing. That makes it a real thing. No, last last last one. Scam, scheme or real thing Fothers. Well, I hate to be a stereotype. But I don't have one So scam my father's so trifling, his family's trifling. My momama had meng Nobody knows their dad's side of the family. the son. don't know I don't know them niggs at all. My mom had me young. My mom had me when she was sixteen, so little teen pregnancy. And so they want those back now. They're back. They want them back. Oh they want them kids aren't getting pregnant anymore. about it. That's what they're saying Fx News. They're like, why aren't the teens getting pregnant? We're We need the teens Isn't this good thing I'm not going this is recorded. I'm not going to say nothing on that I got a job. You make more money than I do, Lacy. But but but in his mama, like my like the You just said his mama and that's your grandma. Fuck fucker. L Fucker She took that he was sixteen. He didn't make the choice. His mama made the choice. Tell them they're gonna raise his kids. His mama made the choice. fuck that whole family I mean, honestly I to do this joke in front of my dad. Is your dad here? No. o. My dad and my stepfather were both at my show in Texas. Love it. And I had to be like, Hey, y'all, don't worry about this. y'all, y'all look cool, y'all good We love each other. I know your phone number. I know what to ph. I'll say this. I'll say Father Hillid is a scheme Not necessarily a scam. I'll say it's a scemam. and here's what I' say. Okay Be like because for the most part, likeike the person who is birththing the child, for the most part, you have to, even if you give up the kid, you have to go through the experience, right? Theather ain't got to do shit. And it could kill you. And it can kill you, right? So you're taking a burden on that pregnancy. The father ain't got to do shit until the baby com and then you still probably barely doing anything. So if you are a good person, a good man You take care of your responsibility, so, you know, but there are some ass man out there. So it's a scheme, not full scam Anden, we can't clap for men too much sorry. I don't no Dome clap for us. Yeah, B us. Boo us We live in Los Angeles and The reason that I added this is because There were advertisements in Los Angeles Time to be a dad Damn I am father put up billboards to tell you to be a father. That's crazy especially in tw Like, You know what? How can we make them be f You know what, let's take out an ad? Let's take out an ad. Let's take out an ad. and then theyre gonna be fathers once they see the ad 'cause they gonna be like, Damn, I do have kids while I'm at the stoplight. Yeah. I do.ember to call kids. Kids. I'm in twenty twenty six, like 'use my, you know, my dad skipped out in nineteen eighty six So he could just move down the street and you will never see anything again. In twenty twenty six, we got social media, manen. we can find you anywhere.. We can find you anywhere. You better take time to be that. We will locate you. we can locate you now. If We can locate you, we see your Instagram. Right. We see you taking time in Kabo. We see you take a time you at Lak gamey?. He and Chick and Bllagio not being a d. Not being eating that brown bread. You ain't even gonna be a brown Bown bread S and sh being a dad And the last reason I want to bring this up because you guys know that there's always going to be like a little hippie propaganda. Okay So I'm dress like share There are a lot of laws that are happening. Laws that are happening makes me sound like I'm illegally blonde and like I don't know what laws are. There are a lot of laws happening guys to us But there is legislation. How about that? Legislation Yeah, there's a lot of legislation that's being enacted right now that is punitive towards women who decide to terminate their pregnancies And the reason that I brought up fathers is because We can't get an unjust law. does not happen anymore You know what we can do get men involved because if men had to go to jail with them women on't be here anymore you inseiminator? I sved this time with me we both doing a b Youre right you should get nine months less. They should take the extra nine months. Y. You take the extra nine months Matter of fact, it takeakes eighteen months. Tell him Jackon. Now. Tell him Jack. I got it I got it nine more months to jail, Jacky send me. N she got the jail recommendation, J. Jacky seent me y'all. Oh yeah, you good, you good. You good, man. Take sail block me C So now let's get to the main event historic Hoodwinks. Yeah A Frid of frid frud Frid of frrid of front front, frid of frid of frud frid. Wanna be on tail Now, I know what you all are thinking. That this is going Yeah, bllack people always like to talk about hot ice cream. We'll get there ped y'all off as a community. 'Cause every show that I've done, live show, there's always black person like hot ice cream Beause we we need to take her to task for that one. No. So I know you're probably thinking that this is going to be all about America's next top model and her shenanigans Tyra, Miss Tyra Banks. She's been up to way more than you thing. We got MLM We got fake degrees. We got all types of shit. And you know what? are And you'll see as I walk through the show. you'll see You'll see your suuiase. You'll see as we walk through the show. that it is our fault because we let that lady Shannan We did. And she shand once and then shand again She' and that's our fault because we was like, yeah, girl, keep keep keep going time. It sounds like she' on her way to being a president of the United States Honestly, there's some very shrump I'm not gonna do it. So Oh You can't start this off with making a say all That's a cute picture I know. Look, Tyra Cate. Yeahah, look, look, I got paperwork Look at that G up Lacey. I don't think y' know how hard Lacey be working. How hard Lacey be No on the podcast, you't be seeing, but Lacey be Lacey be on it. Lacey be on it. the rest of us we just show up and just be talking bullshit I love you talking Well, so we know that Tyra created like problematic reality shows and honestly it was kind of a blueprint in that time. And she really pushed the envelope. She kept going U America's exile model like, but she also created a ton of other predatory businesses that you probably haven't heard of. Tyra was the relatable supermodel, meaning she was black in the nineties. There was There were no black supermodels at that point. They were like Wow relatable. You prove anybody can if if a black woman can do it, anybody can do it. This is little skinny black woman with a gorgeous body and face. If she could do it, anyone can. Anbody a black still Yeah, Yeahah, she's so. Let me tell you, man, I don't know, it looked like we got a older crowd here. So most of y'all was alive during the Fresh Prints. Boy We're going crush our hat on tower banks And most of y'all were alive during fresh prrins I think everyone was alive. I that. Some people I bet you somebody was born think about like a talkie in the twenties. It felt like it should. Who who here was born after two thousand See, see? We can Hey, hey hey Cody, Staff, get that two thousands baby. Don't let her leave because We're gonna need to harvest our organs. She ain't get out of here. How dare you bring your young ass to the show? So yeah, she was a relatable supermodel in the nineties. and an A list celebrity who repeatedly referred to her own five head And she'd be the first to tell you that she was the first African American model to appear solo on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Hell yeah Oh Yeah you horny ass motherfucker. Who's that that? There we go. It was like two days But also my favorite thing about her covering Sports Illustrated is that when she did have a television show, the Tyre Bank show, she had more than one show. It was Black History month. Wait what?? And she honored herself as Black History I love it. She put this This photo of it was like, I'm Black history and honestly I love it. Listen Listen self got out of yourself.. She bought that shirt on IG just like I did. Just like I am Back history So she Tyllyn Banks, she was born in nineteen seventy three in Inglewood. Her dad, Don, was a computer consultant and her mother, Carolyn, was a medical photographer at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadenia. damn y'all know about the Jet Propulsion Laboratory D Hill yeah, Yeah. I ain't never heard of that shit in my life. What is that? I have never heard those words together in a sentence. Damn, y'all some nerds out here ag. Okay San Francisco. You got that tech money. Okay, San Francisco. Y'all got'all turtlenck on tonight. Okay, Steve, Jobs The person who say, Hell, yeah, Du got a suudo. Right you got a suit on down. A jobing your work or you working your job? Amen. You know what I like that? You came with your black queen and you put your suit on and we like that. There we go, There we go So y'all know each other He, see Lena too close. y'all know each other. Yeah I know each other. Yeah I think you know that lady real bad. Look at that hand placement on that thigh. on that thigh know that thigh You through that. Sorry, I ain't try to put you out there like this. So Don and Carolyn, these are Tyras parents, they divorced When Tyra was six and going to a private elementary school Her dad moved nearby and the divorce was amicable But she did face some challenges when she was young because at age nine Ws on her hand She got wards on her hand and the kids at school were calling her froggy Yeah, that's. Damn, shoot was me a call five head and froggy I, It's diabolical. This's terrible. That's so sad. And of course she was being bullied ing so tall Thin According to her book, she would make herself chocolate peanut butter milkshakes every night before bed. she had enough money to make chocolate milkshakes M, I don't feel sorry for her had soo. An in a divorced household. Yeah, you got two incomes. And know that she was really having white lady problems because you know, white kids Divorce be the hardest thing that they ever w. That' the hardest thing they ever? Try not having a f. My God. separated. My parents don't love each other anymore My walosted out on my mama when she was pregnant Jimmy Oops baby. You oops. We are mistake miracle There you go. Yeah. I actually feel really good about being an accident because I'm like, whoopy, look at me. Y best kid. So Obviously at this point, the only other option that she had was to look for a modeling agency That's all she could do. That's all she could do. She signed with LA mododels in nineteen eighty nine when she was sixteen. seventeen magazine contacted Los Angeles agencies looking for this feels gross to say Team girls for a photo shoot That's how she ended up with her first magazine ship Es that with seventeen magazine Now after that, a French modeling agency got in touch with her. The rest is history. Obviously, she's a very successful model. And her mother, who I think is probably a more problematic than we think Becauseuse like first of all Why are you making your baby employed? Your baby' sixteen A you gonna put her in one of the most exploitive industries in the world where your whole job is to be a coat hanger And be naked a lot? Yeah, that's tough. Are you a baby That's tough. You put your little hot baby in this position As done. Esta She had't afford the milkshake. So cararolt And f of the m the milk of the mil. It like Tari eating us out of house and home with these out house in home man. Yo has to work on this runway. You was chocolate milk calls from nineteen eighty eight. The Straight of Hormuse has been moving chocolate milk for years. So Carolyn Her mother Tyra mother, she took Tyra's portfolio photos and they branded them So there was Tyra innocent. Oh Okay. All right. I love I love that innocent look Tar are sophisticated Mhm Cross the leg Yeah ye, yeah. I'm commentating this for people who are just gonna listen to the podcast. Tya come hither Yeah. Legs open, knee in between the legs or elbow in between the legs K knee in between the legs. That's what I'm trying to do tonight Hit my DMs, hit my DMs. The youes So you know, they was really working on her career, right? For the fall and winter, she like walked in twenty five shows in six days. Wow. Why are you making that baby walk so much That's a lot. But also though, I kind of get it Yeah. Back to my airport trauma just for few moments I was sitting in God, this doesn't make me sound good. sitting in the lounge. Yeah. And my life is hard Nans There were these really comfortable looking egg chairs Everyone who was sitting in them was an unemployed baby Yeah, get up out of them. And I was like You' a baby. Yeah. Sit on the floor. Sit on the floor I deserve the egg chair that you swingching around in. You get your unemployed ass on the floor. sit down. Yeah L's like a cat, man. You cant lay anywhere. You can lay anywhere. You can lay anywere Move up off the comfortable spot. You are literally somebody's unemployed roommate. Wow? Dude like why take space Y't know what lumbar mean? Get up off that comfortable seat. You ain't even heard to fuck up off that comfortable seat. Watch out. Get up. You don't know about a disk in a back? Yeah. I wish you. You don't even know your back got discks up in it. I wish you, man. Hey, fuckking kid. Thank you R. So Let's get to something that I find quite interesting about Tyra's personality and honestly I love. We could learn from her. We really can. I love the audacity. truly So Tyra What's the Michael Jackson video black or white? Oh o yes, she was in that. And then you know, maybe that inspired her ' later shes gonna make people black and white. Do they don't even won't worry about we' get there. We'll get there. But in the Michael Jackson video, so this is when now I'ma sound like you, like the talkies. y'all remember firstres spring. This technology at the time for the Michael Jackson Black or White video was actually really transformative. There wasn't no AI, wasn't no you like they had to actually configure this with computers. So the whole thing was that you're supposed to come in and the song is like Is Brad It's white. It's d yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you're supposed to do. That's the choreography. This what Tya did That. fast. That's the picture you wanted. That's what I'm waiting for right there. Why would she do that? Tara was like, y'all gonna remember me in this video And they had to stay on her longer too. because they were like, we can't transition from this. They had to put her in a different place because they could not transition because she was like Yeah, yeah yeah. Like, ma'am, And she showed up late, showed up late and didn't do the job Imagine showing up late to a Michael Jackson video. As one nineteen ninety That's flexing. Kind of flex to show up late to a Jackson And also not follow instructions. Yeah crazy. Listen, I would follow instructions. Y'all know, if you know me, if you've read my book or maybe you steal it later Seven minutes late is my sweet spot Like I can be seven minutes late And nobody's gonna be mad. 'cause five minutes ain't enough. I need a bed ride a little longer. You need need two extra minutes. Ten minutes is too much. It is. 'ause now they're looking at the watch and they're like, where did it spitch at? It's been ten minutes. Yeah. That's too solid of a number. seven no am thinking about that? It's neebulous. All right. Nobody knows So, Tyra. This our act and Erow? M. She was in a John Singleton movie, Her Learning. She was really like kind of eating it up. L She was in one of my favorite movies of all time, loving basketball. Uh she was. She was she was Omar Up's wife that You know, he fucked her over and loved her He loved her. He loved her after he played b his he. Y Yeah, he was share basketball. Honestly stand with you if you dunk on my ass, Niggot like what you mean? Play me for my heart and then you dunk on me? L you don' It's the game L like, come on, bro, could have laid it up. I would have left You ain't gotta touch the rim. Youin't gota touch the fucking rim. The prof Gace Come on now. I'm leaving. Come on now. You could havey. You could have disguy this. respect for yourself I ad' call you you still love him. man And his baby absolutely not. And He posterized her ass. Crazy. Damn. cra. I mean she lo. She did. love it. I love that. Oh yeah. So Tyra was the first black person on the cover of GQ. Oh, that's dope. Yes. I him. And she did a Nike Super Bowl ad with Chris Rock and a Milk add So remember when they used to convince celebrities to paint their upper lip white so that you could do propaganda for Milk. Yeah, man. I got milk as the Best Lion ass campaign. That shit don't help your bones. Have y'all heard this shit Milk don't help your bones. and don't do nothing for your bones. Gotam commercials had us drinking fucking milk For notil It's another animal's milk. It's not even our It's not an. It's fucking us up. We up here booboo and this shit. it's fucking us up It's fucking outbody. You that drinker from your bones and we on the toilet, like my bones are strong Bones are strong. J sending your life away B a Lhouse campaign, man Whive. bones is straw raising. That's really what it was. But yeah, so she did this campaign. She's extremely successful. I love this lady. This is a love letter. I know that It seems like an attack. Oh, But it is a love letter. I love that you did. I didn't even see you actually put no evidence that drinking milk makes your b Yeah, we're on the same plane. Sorry you had to spend that much time on the toilet t So All right, let's get into America's nextxt time model. We won't live here long put my papers together. I'm gonna get a blinder next time, y'all It'll be cute. Right now we got loose leaf sheets. Yes, s, you know. economy is crazy right now abolly. can afford no binder. We can afford binders no more. We can't afford binders no more. Binderers too expensive y'all exp He is bad. gott I can't punch him. That's too much wayay too much. Wait Have you seen a hole punch in a while Yeah, yeah. ' this is San Francisco. I say ye we He my child. Hell a yng child I didn't see the whole punch in a minute. I didn't see the whole punch here in a minute. Damn. Yeah. We listen out. We live in a different We live in a different place. different. All right, Damn. Okay so H Ram She incorporated herself And this is how you know as a scams too many different name changers and companies. okay? Ty Rom incorporated herself as Thi girl cororporation which became production Pam Productions. And Tot T Baby was the one that was producing America's nextext Top model, which ran from two thousand three to twenty fifteen and then again in twenty eighteen, which had a brief period where it was hosted by Rita Ara Here's my thing about Rita Aura. I love her energy because I feel like Rita Oa is somebody who just stays ready She may not be the main attraction But Baby, is she gonna be in a gown with a full bee waiting in the parking lot in case somebody don't show up? She gonna be there So yeah, we're gonna watch this briefly. You already know what it is This is serious to this girls This should be serious to you. Ls can be deceiving. I'm hurt I am I can't change it, Tya, I've been if you can You can't change what. I'm sick of crying about stuff it. I cannot change. I'm sick of being disappointed. I'm sick of all of it. I'm not sick of being disappointed. Ovly I am. No, you're not. If you were sick of being disappointed, you would stand up and you would take control of your destiny. Do you know that you had a possibility to win Do you know that all of America is rooting for you? Do you know that? And then you come in here and you treat this like a joke? You come in here and look at that and say, I can't read that. You read ten times better than half of those girls over there? She did. She didn't. And you come in here with a defeatist attitude, I don't have a bad attitude. Maybe I am angry inside. I've been through stuff, so I'm angry' not This is not quietbody They' quiet. That's what it is I want' not it Youll that this is because you h. I was rooting for you. rooting for you out dare you! Learn something from this When you go to bed at night, you later, you take responsibility for yourself 'cause nobody's gonna take responsibility for you G is it Crazy Crazy Sara, Sara, you need to learn something from this Also when she's like, Well, my mama yelled at me like this, that means she loved me? No, I didn't I your ma be yelling at you and it feel like love? I don't feel like love. that's what That's the same lie that milk people told us. Okay. My mama was spinking me and I don ain't love. I thought the sh told us. The shit hurts. Yeah. it hurts, but then you remember it different. It hurts less after But also tireant. Doesn't that speech resonate somewhere in your head in your he? yes. Don't you remember it? Is' it iconic? I't watch up. Is she kind of yelling at us as a collective family? That was so big. Sometimes you need to get up off your ass and everybody rooting for you, we all root for you. getet your bitch ass up and go do your job. Should I got my bitch ass up today? You there? And you ate late, but you got up. You got up though, you got up. You hear. we here. we here together. We made it Now why We in San Francisco? See, this is why I can't this is why I c'ampt with my friends and family because you just going, wow. So anyways She also created new ways of exploiting vulnerable young women for reality television purposes without sometimes giving winners money that they were promised. Wait, what's this picture on the screen We don't get to that. 'causeuse I'm looking at this sh and I'm like, this why. This is when she had these young women switch ethnicity No For a photo shoot in two thousand five and don't worry guys, she didn't learn her lesson. she did it again in two thousand nine. No And I don't know why she didn't realize Blackface wasn't a good idea in two thousand nine. I feel like I knew that in two thousand nine, but that's okay. So show the show Walk with me The show also featured A homeless themed photo shoot in which real life homeless people Unhoused people wereere used as extras? No. Well did they get paid too really make it authentic How they paid them man. know, because she was only giving them girls forty dollars a day. Oh Yeah, and that's no per diam either. I know this San Francisco, y'all know about some per diM. Yeah Y'all always going on work trips suha.. Y'all all got sky miles numbers, don'ta reward programs. forty dollars a day? forty dollars a day and No food. You got to pay for your own no own food? Yeah So yeah, she wasn't giving the girls nothing. She was giving them forty dollars a day and no food or water. Honestly, this's almost as bad as baddy is where they give them tequila and half a Dorito and make them fight. It kind it's kind of rough. The cycle seventeen winner Angela Preston sued Tyra in twenty fourteen for three million dollars for contract Infliction of emotional distress. Yeah. and failure to provide meal and rest breaks during filming she wouldn't let these girl Take a nap.it. Also this making me this' making me like reconsider what I should be asking for. Three million dollars for no food and no rest. We don't get paid that much. TV For TV. TV shit. And we don't be getting no food at rest. We get Yeah. They having us so set all damn day. They're not gonna sympathize with us. We don't know we three h punches. That's like Yeah. They're like you're out of touch. likeill doars It's right now. Everybody's like no. I sorry, we got a bunch of engineers in the crowd thatotch people. Right. This lady Angela, the reason I bring this up is because how it's covered in the news, but after I did some deep dives So it was covered that Angela, one America's next top model And then breached her contract and they reshot the episode to let the other girl win instead of her What actually happened was is that Tyron, Tatab banks and bankable and whatever the fuck she call up companies found out that Angela had been sex trafficked Yes. And so they were calling her an escort But I don't really think that's what it was, at least from her accounts So they said that she couldn't be America's next top model because She was Traffic? What? what? Yeah No, you that's that's it. That's it. Yeah. Down T know down t know. I talk about the mood down in this whole damn club T Tarrazy. Tara, please. Was America's next time model the most harmful show of the two thousands? No, it was probably the Swan. Or that Lord of the Fly show that put forty kids in an abandoned ghost town in New Mexico for six weeks It see this I didn't see this. I didn't see that one either, but I was horrified Like what Again, why y'all letting y' babies go employ? Like so At the same time that America's next hop model was happening, Tyra was hosting the Tyra Bank showow, right? whereere she produced memorable episodes like Oh shit. Yeah, she tried to sing. I'm actually not even gonna play this. It's not worth it Y'all want to hear shhake body body I ain't never heard it. I want to hear it. I want to hear it. Let's go, Tyra. I love this lady Okay, shick your body body, mooie body body, shink body body Oh so yes. I'm mismerized right now. I'm mismerized. Can't you p? I ain't never seen this in my life. You ain't never seen shake b. No! No! Shake your body body. Lacey was trying to stop that for the last fifteen seconds. Itara was like not today So not finish. So Now, remember when I said that Tya Banks is all your fault? We're gonna get there now.. So remember Tyra had her Tya Banks TV show. The T show, right? Yeah. So she had memorable episodes like Tyra pretends to be fat Yeahep Yep, yep, yep. Tyub Flat people exist. Yeah. And they're beautiful and they're doing just fine. And I don't think that they need you to put on a suit Well, you remember she started on the F Princess of Ballir. You remember that one episode where Will Smith had to put on fast? my kid. You remember that episode? Theres There's nothing wrong with being fat. Oh, no, I know that. I'm just saying that's where she got the idea from, probably. Damn, she probably did. She probably was like, I remember when W was Black and white music video and was like, I'm make people black and white. She just pull it? There she does to fresh p. like on the p. She just pull it from all her experiences. Yeah. You know, if it wasn't enough the first time She had to pretend to be homeless again. I think she overshot this one. Sry her baby. Itsgiving like she was trying to give us like refugee. I know Yeah, see yeah, look what war torn country are you in? I mean, America is country. America is You could very much just be here. Actually, I take it back. That's cynophobic. This is actually accurate. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But she really was selling it with the face and this s I think she had somebody put dirt on her face or some mis Also why she got something of her hair? Like unhouseed people let their hair out I gotta do like gotta cover my hair No they don't Jis knows you're homeless right now. No, I'm kidding. No, it's yeah, I don't know what she was thinking, but don't worry guys. because then Tyron needs to pretend to have rapies You know. You know how you need to be pretending to have ripe bees sometimes. You know how you be to do that. And you know why I said that this is our fault? I bet this again. H eighteen million you. Ries One, two Emies. Y Yep. Yep. This is our fault We encouraged this. We watchhed this and it was like riveting I've never seen a person with rabies. Give me more it's the best decision out of the three. I mean, yeah. It is rapey. Yeah, yeah, yeah The other one is cosplaying people who are in dire straits. The other one is like, what are you doing, girl? And then this I mean, I'm gonna be real. a little video you The video you get look at that sexually Jquas I say say like you don't know you how I spent there. I wound you up with the shak your body body video. Now you don't know how to act a lot of you're do a lot with it. for the book. 'Cause I'm gonna be wrapping this up in a moment. Modeland. Modeland. She got books too? Yeah. Now. Remember her YA novels? Well, it was supposed to be more than one. She was supposed to be the JK Rowling of modeling turns of writers. Cool But except for she wasn't going to be no turf like fucking JK Rowing. Fuck J K Rowing. Fuck J K Rowing. thing say about mother fucking' Tyra Banks is lookook, she might cause you emotional distress and harm. But she ain't gonna call you out of your pronouns. They a bitch, she a bitch, he a bitch We ain't misgendering none of you bitches The hero we need It's a hero we need right there. But yeah, so she had these books and I'm telling you guys, I'm telling you this is not assault because I still love this lady. Somehow, this book landed in my hands in middle school. You had this book? I didn't buy it, but it was being passed around in the cafeteria And I learned about Tui, Tuie who had one green eye and one blue one. A Tukie. That's a black guy' name. Tuie dea creime. Test. Tukie dea Cime That's a name, right for a character in a book. You could tell, you could tell that was Tyrer's idea. The editor was like Can we change this name please? It is like no Tie Cookie de la creim You can't it, donon't change it It feels like she did like like if you were have like remember those buzzfeed tests and stuff? Yeah Like if they had that was just like, what's your Rupaul's drag name? Yeah. And you just put in your initials and they like was like Dela crew. What was your first pet name and the last thing you ate Chooki, Delaam Da crp So she Tuki was unexpectedly invited to this exclusive magical model school called Modeland whereere she metant? An albino girl. Can we say that still? She Is I b? Is that okay to still say I don't know, man, we grew up in a different time. We used to be able to say a lot of shit we can't say no moreore. I don't know She also met a plus size girl and she also met a short girl The worst the worst infraction of all And she learned about friendship, courage and self belief to become One of the seven Ixabellas. those were the sexy people. Reviews called the book. This It had to be terrible Review was called the book U Overlong A making no wordse for this book This book is overlong. I've never heard that heard in my life. We couldn't even escape her music video. That's true. I was trying to click the. It was like, no, I'm not No No. They also called it u warped And exhausting. Can you imagine being exhausted by a book that you can put down? Now you could put the shit down. You'd be like, wh, it's too much. Let's put it down Can you still exhaust it? They're like, no, I got got I got Okay And this to me, you gotta keep reading the book. You gotta keep reading this book. You try to close it? just open back up? Well, we gotta just keep reading the book. ' like at the end of wicket, the book opens up Yeah. So God. So in season seventeen, Tyra had four the four remaining contestants on her show, America's Next Top mododel perform as characters in the novel in a short film based on the book. No Wow How you think I'd ever show you this I've never heard about fab life. Yeah. So fab life with life wasn't that fab. L she quit this show after three months. and honestly Jakise, give me your best guess at what you think. Tya's catch phrase would be for my life Uh Fabulous I don't know Cadabra That was the next thing I was going to say I was I say that next Fabricaabra And her cash you got a good voice. And her cash rase didn't get to take off. And then because she quit, right? And then, okay. If we were to think of someone who's Rita Aura In a different thought Wh would yall guess Rita Our in a different font Uh 'ause someone took lose the show Furgy? Furgy. N Fergie been down since he did the National Anthem all the years ago. Oh damn. Yeah remember that? I remember that. It was like Fg you're done, Bro, you're done. I was actually in the building for that. You was you? Yeah. I hate American. I was even like girl, I don't do that. really enjoyed it I'll do that. What' you doing, man? H more respect for Giving more respect for the nals. She was giving us blues. She was j I love it. I love when people do too much. I do too much all the time. I need people to do too much. So wrapping this up pretty soon here guys, we're probably looking at what? Yeah, yeah, probably about like ten There we go. put it there. Oh yeah, not it got it there. I don't have to at my phone like I unmprofessional to whole go damn time. That's okay. That's. So yeah we don't keep call here Have you guessed who on Hilton is Chrisie Teen at a different font. Rd orange C it What happened Rita and Chry Tegan are the same person. Chrissy Teiggan. We've never seen them in the same room.. So Chrissy showed up and put her Rita Oa fashions on was like, I'm keep hosting Tyra show. and then it ended Now, remember Tyra Beauty No No. No I'm gonna be real with you, Lacey. I ain't heard nothing from Tyrra in fifteen years. I thought she was not doing anything. and like she'd been doing a lot. Yeah. She She's fzy lady. Yeah. So this was her multi level marketing scheme. So Tyra told the TV Critics Association. When the Tyra Bank show ended I was like I'm done with top I'm gonna hunk her down. businessiness school and really focus on the business side of my career. Okay, s Bus Hm So by business school, she meant fruit its non degree granting course n Gree Ganding course. Yeah, yeah am called the nine week ownwner Pident mananagement program. A lot of words in there which has no formal educational requirements. Damn. You can go to Harvard with nothing I't know you go to Harvard with no education. Yeah ye, sk give a certificate. And a skibing you gota print it yourself Like, they not even gone. They. They just send you a link and be like, here you go, Broad. They send you a link. you print that out just it to you. got trip home. I'm not real degree Yeah, so yeah, ye. They don't even refer to them as students. They call them clients. Damn It's designed specifically for presidents and CEO's of companies over ten million dollars like making over ten million dollars annually. Tyra said she wanted to educate herself as much as she could to help her sales force rake in what she calls Bank signs So Tyra She said on her website My goal is to help you be the CEO your life. You can start your own business by selling Tyra beauty products Galvanizing a community of entrepreneurs called what do you want to call these entrepreneurs and then I'll tell you what she calls them. I would call the entrepreneurs. Uh I bet yo, bank rolls. I like that. Oh. bank roll.. The bank roll. Tya should a bank roll. You need to be on her team. I know. Yeah. You looking for a job? Yeah '. need you need to be working with Tya because she call them beauty Tainers. Beauty tainers Yeah, I'm re with you, man. Tyra do sound like black woman Donald Trump I didn't want to say it. It ss not like it's crazy It is crazy she's not as evil and as racist as he is. Hell. That's a different. She'd just be doing anything. She'd be doing anything. She She's like if Donald Trump had two loving parents Hes inflicting a lot of that pain on us because he ain't getting no hugs. He getting a hug. He used to be a fucking Democrat He got a million dollars and was going to get on thatan Fret free in his head 'cause he's like, damn, I wish I could be as cool as him Nigg as damn He was mad about january sixth. You know the funniest thing that he said. What? It was like january sixth, like my fans, my up The people They didn't look as good as I thought they would Thank you The people didn't look as good as I thought. they didn't look as good. They didn't look as good. Yeah. He was mad that his fans was ugly be sexy storming the capapitol. And honestly, Tyra Banks would have said the same. Head on. Tyra Banks would have said the same. She would have been like Wh without these ugly people in this room come out here and represented me like this. We was rooting for you. And that's why I appreciate y'all ' y'all be looking nice and good when y'allbody beautiful. Everybodyreciate that Beautiful. Thank you for putting that shit on. I appreciate that So as we are wrapping up here, yes, so beauty Tainers, right? Beauty Tainers. So she said, o I know some of y'all probably heard the music when you first walked in here And it was like a little ominous and scary. That's how She was like, yeah. She was like, yeah The first song I heard was from sinners That's why've been For the first people to walked in gouse wasisten the centers coming in I was like, God, man. I mean, I is black Wh's that? I thought it was a choice. I was like f steal steal stuff. And then I was like, they probably go to think this is a trap ' I got this fucking music on like I'm down. Like I like I can't I need to put a period in between I say the next sentence. Like like I'm Jesus at the last suppupper, like one of you betray me. Wh of you betray me? And they was like,, we can't steal to this music, which means the people that did steal to that music Yeah look' for the tenderloin the sound boy,. Oh So yeah, she said that she's gonna to train her beauty Tainers with her team in the art of fusing beauty and entertainment. Th those two words go together as and racking them up into bank signs. Every new beauty Tainer was assigned to an established beauty Tainer crew and to be an active beyainer. This is why. Now listen, how long did this go on It might still be going. Now listen No look don't behamed. Don't be ashamed. There's anybody in this roomainer Anybody in a beautyer in here? No, Okaykay. What'd you saying No than no, thank you. Okay. You can tell us Aa the show. can tell us. Listen, you don't have to confess now. you can confess later. Now listen, if you w to be a beauty Tainer in the future, all you need is one hundred fifty dollars. Now you can either sell one hundred fifty dollars worth of product or you can give her one hundred fifty dollars be It also like just a little fifty nine dollars to enroll So you got to give one hundred and fifty dollars and fifty nine dollars to enroll? Yeah, it's just twoars ninety nineents. Just two Are you trying to be a beautainer or not? Listen, you know what? you gott pay to beautiful. I get it. Yeah. I get it. I wantanna be a beautifulainer. Listen, after you pay your fees and order products We have the six minute Tie over kids I don't know gonna tie over kit. It's gonna tie you over. It's gonna tie you over. got min. The Sise eyes shadow. S where your eyes are smiling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got the stick with me makeup setting spritz. N we found the person who beauty Tain her back, there we go . Yeah. We got the oops eyeliner, which is definitely something you want to hear when you're putting something near your eye. Yeah, Oops. Oops Yeah And then also we got Maja Brow Monja Brow Which I don't want my eyebrows to fuck. like Yeah We actually want them to be separate. Also Macha, ain't that three Yeah What a thirird one at? What third I bow at? Magja Bro. Monagja Bro? She's trying to put them all together. We don't need to look at this. I wantna tell you the story of a woman. Okay, fine. A woman that stayed married her longer than she should have because she didn't have the money or the independence to leave a marriage that she felt was no longer a positive. She's recruiting one day She domestic abuse victimage And she moved her kids to a one. What a crazy position to sit in for a video. of Los Angeles, California ' in a lady house. A little one shared a tiny room. She said, lookook at this. She her children on that first night in that one bedroom apartment that in one year They would move to an apartment with two bedrooms She did just that. I want to be clear. She has a chair behind her. promised her kids that in one year, they would move to a safer area. that She was to to into their three bedroom dream home That woman was my mama and one of those kids. And my mama is somebody that thinks outside of the box. If there was modern So the first one We gonna move to a two bedroom. for her back then. But we still in a hood, baby. So what is Tyra Beauty? and how did my mama struggle lead me to What So Sorry, go back to the video, but she why was she like, can someone go do poor B roll? Like Yeah. one of those poor pictures. Can we find a stairwell that's so dirty Let's find a stairwell with paint shipped off of it. Can we find one of those windows with the bars on? That's gonna really get it across. And then she's like, and that was my mother. Let's find a two bedroom apartment that don't have a door on the front onn the front of the building Dude, she's so serious. Please be real. So I love that she was like, my mama moved us. She was like, I promiseed you' to the ghetto though when we moved to the two bedom. We had a two bedroom. Mama wasn't doing that great at the time. But gunshots were still flying through the air so she got it together and got us a home. And you can do that too with Tyra Beauty. She acted like her Ter Beauty.. Pveritize your mama's success story I' a lot of beautiful people in the hood too. What beauty gotta do with getting out the hood? man. There's a lot of beautiful people in the hood. Honestly, beauty gets you out of the hood. Beay Beauty gets you out ofa here, maybe. Beauty and dribling into basketball gets you out of the hood. Oh Lord. And also being smart, look at all our computer kids in here. Man ain't nity. who grew up in the hood? Wh gre up in the hood here There you go. Al right. there you go. There you go. So so you saw you saw some of them them stairwells with the p the stairroids You saw them windows of the bars. he was like Oh . I didn't know I was going see home when I got to this show Sorry, man, I grew up theouth side of Chicago I grew up in the hood, bro I grew up in the Hood. I grew up in the hood, I get you. H hand is saying I did not Stay strong. Damn. So Tyra, she came out of modeling retirement to return to Sports Illustrated, right? But she got a new name now. rememember, she got fifty eleven names. Now we're on Bank X Honestly, she beat Elon to it She threw a X on it she like changed her like name? Yeah, the name she wants to go A new symbol. She said the ex symbolized Xing out Like cookie cutter beauty But why should still use BAN then to choose X Let'soose X Yeah, Ban X is kind of bad. Ban X is crazy. just who was. It sounds like a deal myad as a teen. Yeah That sound like a high blood pressure medication. BanX. Now that I've started using BanX my days are brighter. I have time to play with my grandchildren. Yeah. on BanX Ban I could do the things I never could do before. And now of a sudden I'm on a bicycle and then I'm back. Yeah. And so she said, bank X, ban X Banks Oh, it's still supposed to be banks. Damn, I can't read Hey, that's not on us. That's herard with that dumb ass say. You knew I was saying it. Why did you say something, Luke? Yeah, go on, man. laughing, you knew I was saying pans and it was spanks. We was up here talking about it like it's medicine. Hell? It was like, this is medicine Thank you, Thank you, Sis. Thank you,. I appreciate it. You relate to a nigga who had bars on his windows, he don't even tell you shit. Ion't tell you nothing, man. Banks. Not bans, banks fine, I can't read good no more, apparently. So now I think not knowing how to pronounce BA N X is okay. Well she said that Banks is her. It's also every woman. Yeah. Banks represents rebirth. and that beauty and boundaries can always be broken Well. Now before we go This is the next logical place that we have to go, okay? And it's gonna to make so much sense This is Tya's next adventure. Thee park. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, you know how you gotta do a little theme park sometimes. I love a theme park. You know how you gotta do a little? I love a theme park. Everybody who know me know, I love a theme park I love I literally just saw a TikTok video of people having to walk off a six flags ride. and somebody in the comments was like, Ohh, bitch, if I have to walk off this hoe, I'm own five of them flags when I get to the ground. 'causeuse what do you mean What do you mean? Hey, know listen. Ss get stuck. T Tya entered the theme park industry and she's a known Disney lover. Doesn't that make sense that she's a Disney adult? It adds up. Yeah, where my Disney people at? What my Disney?. There we go. I see She made this theme park. called Modelands. A the de book She ran it back. ran back. She ran back. Now listen, Mel An was at the Santa Monica Play shopping mall 'ause you know how theme parks be at the mom. Yeah, I also want to say Thee park and ten thousand square foot don't go together Yeah But Twags are bigger than that. That's a store. It' whatever you want in your mind. I guess park is a vibe. guess A theme park is a feeling. Push yours up right now, we? We We in a theme park. Wh! Yes, yes, see.. in a theme park. C to my theme park So yeah, ten thousand square foot and she ticketed it as an immersive experience I love that because it's so vague. It could have mean anything What does immersive really mean? It means that if you white They might put you in blackface this is int this is near us Santa Monica placelace. Yeah. That why Iin't never heard of at all in my life. I ain't never heard of it. So it opened two years after it was supposed to because we know she loves to be late. Yeah, yeah And it's obviously half the size it was supposed to be. You pay for a regular or VIP ticket and you walk through a series of themed rooms at the mall Soong All, we got the the beauty Tish. What's it call again? The beautyician? wasn' it the beauty tankers? The beauty tankers All right, let's immerse ourselves. Everyone ready to be immersed? Let's immerse. Yeah. I'm ready. Who ready? I still love Tyra I'm ready. 'all Is y'all immersse? This looks like something I would spend two dollars and thirty two cents on. Even the mannequin looked tired. Yeah Yeah get home like she w to be there. Hell yeah. And baby, y couldn't get a tablecloth at his table. raw table foot. This is yeah, man. Where is the table showing feet? Not raw table foot This table ain't got no shoes on know nothing I tell I got no shoes on. The mannequin no. You't put a coat on there baby The mannequin ain't got no at all. And then she got three wigs. J Sanicans This is the imer What you' supposed to have the gloves. What is this mse? What' the fuck this got to do with being a model I don't know. But look, somebody is immersing themselves. Look at the back as a photo booth Al right there I see. Yeah, it looks kind of sad whatever this photo booth is, but they look like they imersing. For people who are listening to the podcast and can't see this yet. The descriion a description of this is it looks like shit Cose captioning looks like shit. Yeah, but's that's the VIP ticket jel, so y'all need to get immersed. That's a VIP ticket Yeah. So you know? I do want to say this before I move on from this. She said that her theme park was a natural extension of the mission she began with on America's nextext topop model. She said, My empathy for women in general increased through the experience. and now He knows lies. I hear you back there And now with Model N, I'm taking it ten steps forward, giving people the opportunity to engage with the elusive world opening it up to everyone. Three wigs and a raw table, guys. We've been missing out. Now all right black people. We've reached the end of the show wait, I have a hot mic. I'll let two people come up and give me listen to letters and then we have to get the fuck out of here. I heard someone scream so I know that they comh. So the last thing here Ice cream So smes and dream. Smes and dream Yeah that's the hot ice cream Oh, she actually got hot ice cream? Yeah, it's exactly what it sounds. it's milk Shed be on that toilet boy, likeike this suppos to be for my bes. This supp be S be on that. Your bones are gonna be so good. Yeah, it doesn't make sense and it's not a real thing. It's not melted ice cream. It's not a latte, it's not Cme engay. Did I say that right Thank you It's a new invention guys Here's Tyra talking about her company and its legacy. I'm actually not going play that because I don't care to. So this hot ice cream is only available in Sydney, Australia. and for some reason att her ice cream parlor Ses and Dream after an Australian reporter asked the Basically, the Australian reporter was like, bro. Fuck going on. What is this? Whatne selling to put in our mouths, ma'am. And so then he, a petty person, and I do love the petty community.. Petady pettiness. Wow Oh The Penty commommittee really smil. Pdy is here Petty is insane. Thank you for acknowledging the petty community, off course. I got ya. I got ya So someone looked it up. And they said you can't call something ice cream unless it has ten percent milk fat So hot ice cream is a lot now be referred to as Smice cream. I admired as woman's audacity I fucking love it Hi Love it A black woman with audacity is the best thing in myamn. I fucking love it. I love it. We should let more black women get away with this type of sh. We love it. We deserve it. We deserve it. We work so hard. Yes Uplifting society doing all the movements? Yes. Make smies creream girls. Doa fucking thing. Sies creream do you think Yeah, there there it is Yeah. So that's her first. She got an ice cream mustache again. She got the ice cream mustache. We met to go Maybe that's where she was inspired. That's where she was inspired. She said got milk and now I got smice cream. That Sice cream. Beautiful Oh, oh and the flavors. I didn't read the flavors.'ll be We'll be. We got wake up and smell the crunchy. Yep. That makes sense. Love the smell of crunchy. All night love Why not? All night love? Is that like, all all night long? Well she listened to Lionel Richard and was Probably All n Proably. Yeah. And then purple cookie M star. She was high as hell when she said fuck. She was high as fuck For sure. She was She looks high in this p. boy. Honestly, Mbe we all need to be eating smies when we're high. Yeah. Eat it when you're high You know what it is like y I ate some shit when y'all was hided It was really kind of questionable. So a microphone here and I will take two guests if you want to be the fastest one, if you want to tell me about see hand the crook Longest arm and hand I've ever seen in the back right there. You raaising your hand. Yeah Oh, you' to have to turn the lightice up on C on. Come on. you standing up? C come up, come up, come up Yeah, you right there, right there. Yeah. Okay, you better walk, you better walk the runay Yeah yes yees. H. That's one. Okay, you better come out of your car I own blazer Oh my Godd, I'm so happy to talk with you. Oh my God are you dr? you specifically? No. I am intoxicated with life. I'm so excited to be in the community here and I'm what E all. yes, very excited. I stole that for my like I'm gonna tell you. You know, I'm gonna come over here ' I like I think I might God down. I think I might need to hold your hand. So cute All right, what's up? Okay, so so I was call your intro for my I host one hundred thousand real estate agents and I stole my intro to my education thing and I say, you know what real estate agents? I'm excited And now I have them saying So say for what? For anything real estate related, but what I'm saying is like I you excited for like a bus bine. An anything. That's what you get me excited about anything, anything. Okay So what I want to ask you is Oh, we haven't even gotten to the question. Oh yeah 'Ca boy, I was confused to sa. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?. My question, my question is What are you excited? Oh H Don't make me cry You know what I'm excited about I'm excited about tonight and being present here with all of you. and I'm also excited that My friends and family came I'm excited to see people that I love and I love all of you Yeah. What's your name? What's your name, my friend? Niki, what's your name again? Nicki Jackies. I loved your commentary. I thought you were really funny. Oh, thank you Now Nici. I didn't know what to expect, Lacey. and actually, let me tell you a story real quick Let me tell you story quick. Let me tell you story real quick So actually I saw you. Yeah, I loved you. I loved you S Sam godess. I loved you like S am man, are you ny? comoming up and sharing a moment with me. that are called salmon on you. I love you. I love you.. They gave they gave Nicky Apollo like They literally we go We have time for one more. Oh man. All I want to say is white people really do be shared all their business, right? What? White people be shared all their business, like unasked. You notice that Oh ye, this is my friend because black people are scared to go into jail That's. No, no, it's cool. It's cool. Sometimes you have to cost players the help. You know? They'd be like, oh, whos, you know, I was just talking about that. They want to sit on the porch and drink lemonade I just told you if you listen to Brandon Carles's Goodman podcast, I told y'all Wh white people miss us. They love chatting with us. They miss having black friends. They do, they miss us. They love black friends. I love lemonade, but I am halfway You have why. Well. Lacey, have you heard of the Sherpas who are taking people They take them to the top of Everest for the normal price, whatever, and then they say, Well, now you're here. So if you want to get backed out, if you want me to lead you back down Then you can pay maybe like ten, maybe like twenty times what you're gonna pay o They' getting sted by all these rich men who go and are like one hundred grands climb Everest. And those guys are the ones who die, like most often it's Surpa who die on those excursions. They're getting paid shit. like they should scam all the rich men climbing Everest Hello gerf get on Shoutout to the one shirper who probably had that idea. He was l It was like, we've been leaning all these people up the mountain and we'd only want We dont to w back to get back down. fish. Yeah.. and I gotta be all white man too, 'causeuse if it was me, I'd be like, Nicka I'm getting on your back You ain't gonna be able to walk without me. M family support. R. I may not get on the back, but I'll hold on to an ankle.. We riding down. We riding down together. All right, Cgregation. The congregation. Give it up to yourselves. Giveing up to yourselves. Thank you Also 'cause I know she won't do it. G up today. 'ause I know she won't do it. Giveing up for Lacey. Giving up for Lacey right now Th damn goddess Like I said,'ve known I've known Lacey for ten months. I've known Lacey for ten months And we came up we came up together in LA comedy scene and it's really dope to see what you're doing. I love you. I'm proud of you. Keep doing your thing Keep doing your thing. I love I'm proud of all of you Every day Getting out of bed is a fucking accomplishment Yeah And sometimes you don't even get up on time. Yeah, we're on the same flight tomorrow and watch. I'm gonna be on that plane tomorrow, by myself. Where you at lazy? So y'all just gonna roast me at the end of my show. This how y'all feel? Well, it's congregation Please get home safely. If you didn't have an opportunity to steal something off of the table, you might as well go and get you some. Thank you all so much for being here. Please get home safely Tonight is goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Sam goddess. Our producer is Jessica Ciseros, and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay Sam in