Closing Thoughts and Tour Promotion

Coming up on this week's episode of Shag Married Annoyid. We have come up with the perfect party bag alternative. It's not perfect but it's a to. It needs a bit more work. I have a medical, full medical seexy. Botday was almost a mira podcast. Very tense, very tense. We've got beefs and we've got questions and voice notes from you, lovely lot Enjoy I'm not giving up. I am selling the building The final season of FX is the Bear. The restaurant is flooded.. Everything's either gonna be okay? Nopeop Or not We are out gun and we are out man, but we have each other. FX is The Bear, the final season, All episodes now streaming on Disney pllus Spring to slid into your DMs. Grab that booho look for that rooftop dinner, those sandals that can keep up with you and hang some string lights to give your patio a glow up Springs Calling. Ross, work your magic Hello, you are listening to Shagmar Denoid and you might be watching as well. so hello if you are. It is Sony. Everybody's happy. Hello. The world is good. W good to be. Drastic overstatement, but yes. Now I know the world is notite world isillion one things the world is gre. Yeah. what we're seeing is the fact that we've just been outside the garden and then came in and recorded this, that bit of the world's good. No, just the fact, okay A lot of people listen to this who aren't from the north of England, okay. When it's hot, when you stand in the sun During the day in the North of England and it's hot You know it's hot like there's no better feeling. like we don't we've been to London during the summer. you guys it's hot, right? Yeah. It's not hot where we live.. We live on the coast. It's usually about ten degrees cooler. And we will pay for the day of heat that we're get now with some torrential fucking rain and really horrible wind within about a week But as of now, we're enjoying it. And I think what I was trying to say before is If your little slice of the world is good, then good stuff. Hope you hope you haven't hope there we go. I hope your little slice of the world is good. I've cheared up because this morning I thought I was dying. But I it's tragic by the way I know. So this mor, I genuinely I was like, what's wrong with me? I was like, I just can't shake I can't shakeing down with something. Yeah. I thought it was bloody blood. You did a couple of piddy little singing gigs at the weekend that really shouldn't have took much out of you. But the did it looked like it was killing you. but what had happened? I'd forgot to have me coffee. You'd forgot to have you like A smackhe Itching and twitching. got head I'll get a headache and I haven't had me coffee. Tragic I mean, it is a drug. It is literally a drug. But I've been waiting a little bit longer to have it and it genuinely has changed my life. And today you bloody waited too long, didn't youait too long?. really didn't bloody it?. bloody. Unbelievable. How are you? I'm very good. I love it's sunny, I love it when you're happy I love it when you're not you one. I love it when you're not a general pain in the arse. So this is great. guysys, everyone, thank you so much for being here. Thankk you so much for watching and listening we're really reallyally can't stress enough how much we appreciate after all this time. Hope you're still enjoying it because way bloody y' and And without further ado it is time for this week's lucrative Look what have sponsor This week's sponsor is I might have done it before, but I don't care I've got a new take on it this week's sponsor is party bags. Oh Hey, has your kid had a good time at the party? Well, make sure they don't go home without a little handbag of single use plastics, sugary toys and a cake that's been inexplicably wrapped in a napkin so all the icons come off anyway and guess what? The little twats want to eat that in the back of your car, don't they Of course they do. Hey, the fun doesn't stop when they leave the party. G yourself so unplar with these toys that'll break in a couple of seconds, little bits of shitty plastic everywhere. Get them in the garden with that tiny, tiny, tiny little tub of bubbles that'll spill immediately Party bags stop it. We've all done it. Hate it. We've all done it. Act know you've never you've never arranged a party bag in your parents and yours. No. You've never organised a party. No, stupid. don't think people should be together I'm ding. The party bags are getting a little bit out of control Now Well now we're at the point where we pick Robin up from a party and we're with Raf and the people at the party feel bad and they give Raf one as well. So he gets in the car's like I got a party. I' class. T lots of shit in the back of the car. It is shit. It is shit. salute just fucking cack I'm not it anyere a bag of coack. Get honestly, Honestly, Give them a fver. Give them a five You know what? A quid? There's a quid. On your way out, big, big tub of quids Is what you know, wh No, I'm telling right now the actual contents of the of the party bag. if you do, if You're talking at least three quid. Yeah.ing All right, save yourself too quid, giveive them a quick, G give them fifty pence each on the way out. There's fifty pence. Get some sweets on the home. There's fifty p qu. Chrace You can't know, you can't, have you do you know I bought a pack of polos y the other day? Do you know how much that packed that tube of fucking polos was from the garage? How much? Yes You're gonna you're gonna die you're gonna die. All right, I'm gonna do that thing where I high ball it so that the price isn't that much anymore. Ask us again. How much? seventy four pound. Now, one pound ten. bargain, I thought no sev. One pound twenty. I've just saved seventy three or two pounds. Oh he's in a fucking even a horrible mood isars And one pound twenty That's wild. It's because you don't I don't always realise because you only buying a few things. Oh Like if I go for milk out of touch, are you? No, I'm just kinding milk Prime Minister, how much is a pite ofil C couldouldn't tell you. many of you could because this is why I realized because normally when you go in the shop you're getting egg, you're getting milk, you're getting bread, getting, you know, we've got our little rotation of stuff that we buy cheese for the kids. So when it's in a shop, I don't notice, but I went to the garage and I was picking up a parcel and I just went in and bought some polos in my one pound twenty and I thought, are you having a laugh. mean you're talking garage prices there. Garages garagees more. Or they add an extra fuck you on the top Yeah And I imagine there' be people listening now going, get yourself the home bargains you can get four pos for aid, which probably can. Yeah. So all I'm saying no I'm saying I'm saying, giveive them kids fifty pence each on the way out, send them not get anything pays and then buy a four pack of pols. Lookt get anything for fifty pence Send them out together, let them f each I think you should ask I will laugh my head off if the next party You just hand out a five out each kid. That would be my likeike when they open the briefcase and dumb a duma and they find all the money and they're on the way in the hotel' like There you go. There you go. There you go. Do you say Chr Christ Rose Ramy paid children at the end for coming to their kids' birth? But did you know what? they're weird. No, I think it's better because by I overballed it with the. No, you're not do you not who class are coming Th thirty odd fun and fun. Chris. Right? this is coming from the man who's never organized the party. If you actually break it down, you have to buy the actual party bags, right?ight The cake Yeah. he's probably still gonna want to to have a cake All the little bits of shit that are inside the sweets, everything. I'm telling you, you're talking three three to five pound each party pag. giveive them a five, they'll be fucking buzing aquid No aboutout' not they're gonna're gonna throw a bat in go I couldn't even get a tube of fucking poles that Oh Okay, goodood. Well, that I willll weed out the good friends from the bad friends. This is what we' do. This is it. Right okay, give them two quid each Just have loads of two pound coins and say we're not doing party packs. It's two pound. I' if be buzzing, I'd be buzzing as a kid are you joking? This reminds me of years and years and years ago I listened to the Richard Jeers podcast and he got loads of I don't know if it was true or not but he had a story raiser.'s got loads of Nies' and nephews and he's going aroundound at the house he's going around the house, hiss brother's sis's, for of Christmas nor, nie's nehws And he forgot about Alex is a fucking genius. He'd forgot to buy them Christmas presents. Right. He bought a fuckload of scratch cards on the way and gave all the children scratch cards and all the kids isn't T too young but fine is? There Some them more want to tell, Some them more nothing, you know, that's like that's like I can't done if it's a joke and I not put right? Okay, then we'll give them all a scatchge. There it is Scratch cards T M butoter Perfect. Perfect Use eleven D We had a fight about the jingle jing. We couldn't set a on a jingle jingle. So this is the jingle j h like the jingle jingun Baba doo baba doo babaooab J Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of shhagged Married Annoy.ly, lovely, jubbly, lovely, lovely have you back. You've got a wound on your shoulder. It's really upsetting you, this is? Yeah, it's really horrible. looks it looks a bit like ringworm You know ringworm that I always. It's ringworm.. So I burnt myself with me curlin wand at the weekend And do you know what's mad It didn't hurt right? I kind of stung at the time. and then it's not hurt at all and I think, my pain threshold is Crazy. Right, o. Just hasn't. It should hurt, isn't it It looks It's genuinely like it's a properper full on burn. This should hurt. Yeah for a thing. Hot his nails. dead You might be dead. Probably dead. Yeah Probably But I't know why it' upset you so much. Is it It looks a bit like ringworm I'll be honesting.' absutely J. You' can go j Jitu,. But I've got meout the d. That's what would hurt us the most. What? If you went a jujitsu without us and enoyed Jitsu kept as secret me and went without us and didn't go with us and could do it as a comp. There is not one part of Ji Jitsu that I would enjoy The way met a man crawling on us I you to telling everyone my sex mo most.? No, than you. It's disgustful. I've se it, it's awful, it's vile don't know, No, thank you. Like fair enough with the women, but then I don't like. Do know when someone hugs you and they've got no and they've got their armpits out and the touch your You know in the summer, someone hugs you with their armpit out and they touch your shoulder and the sweat of their armpit goes on your shoulder. That's my day fucking ruined. Yeah. I've been known to go to public toilets and wash my shoulder because known She in again, the shoulder washer. It's so upseted. in. And like don't me wrong people sweating and you know, not many people I know smell, but it happened once. where someone, I didn't know they weren't a friends. someomeone hugged us Yeah with a bait bare armpit out on my shoulder and a fucking stunk and and I had to go and wash my shoulder. Two things you just reminded me us of onene I don't know if I've talked about either of these before, but I I've expressed how upset I get when someone is on a plane on the we two are from Holiday and theest on You really don't like that d. A man in a vest on the way to or from holiday shouldn't be allowed. It should be banned on a plane. Shn't bned on a plane.enen are ye, it doesn't bother us as much weirdly, but just when it's some bloke.x and he's like yeah And he's like sitting there. he' sitting his chain, he's like scratching his head. He's reaching up to do the fan and his armpits basically in the fucking ear of the person next to him, he's getting stuff out of the overhead and' like Oh, you know me holders, so it's warm. so I've got my armpit out. You should be left in whatever country you should be stranded you passport taken off. you live here now, by the way. Well, what I s you last night, I had a bath and I got me clean dr arys on. Yeah. And I came down and I said, I love nothing more than being clean And I don't understand people who just are happy to just stink Happy to week every day Some don't get it real I think some people do you not realize? I don't know. Again I've said it before, I don't mean to sound horrible but I think you should be allowed to go to someone by the wayist stink and it should be fine It should be absolutely fine. It should be like telling someone, you know they're about ac cross the road and getre hit by a car. It should be seen as a public service. You should go, Oh my go, I love him. He told us I stank and I did stink and I saortered it. I mean, I don't know Anyway anyyway, other one Yeah, I did tell you, I went golfing once and in there I had a long sleeve top with this and I got there and it was boiling hot and I was like, goh shit and I b I panic bought it. golf t shirt in the golf shop. And I think I' told you, I've got about four holes round and I went This isn't my smell Someone had tried it had tried it on and put it back and I got halfway around the course and the sweat was coming out of my to. I was devastated. I know. And I'd like to blame that on why I was shit but I'm always shit. So so upset I mean, you can kind of forgive if it's hot days and you know, I didn't smell fresh sweat fresh med doesn't swe smell. Well, that's sweing, isn't it? Yeahah Yeah. usually this is a conversation not for now. I know sometimes awful of private life seeps into the podcast and we sound awful. but I I look at a lot of people messaging about people stinking and stuff. I think it's you know, I think we're literally called a fucking episode of this podcast Halatos' Taxi once. I've just got a really strong sense of smell, that's a problem. Some people you came in of the night and the first thing you saident to me was the bin stinkking. They were at the front door. You were at the front door. It was through the front That's bad it wasn't wr with bins And we've got two bins. I think we need to just I think we need Because we've got two bins at either side of the kitchen I don't know why did we do that W it helpful. It was really helpful It is rather than having one big bin because one big bin will smell even more. Yes, I know, but I feel like come in one of the bins, come and put like like the scraps and the other just like rarappers cor. So first of all, if you're listening, I don't think our recycling doesn't do food Our council doesn't do food waste. So don't be sitting there kicking off we're not recycling food waste. Os doesn't do it. as ours doesn't do plastic bags. I don't know why I don't think you sometimes you think we're organized enough to do shit like this and we're not. We could not have one bin for one and one bin for the other I would you try? The second you put the wrong thing in the wrong one, which would be immediately the whole thing would go away. Do the other day, your mom put accidentally put all the recycling into the grey bin and then had to move them all out and then came into me kicking off that I hadn't had the wheelie bins cleaned She was like, you need to get your wheelie bins cleaned regularly. I was like, I don't have to go fucking rooting through them because I put the in the story so root aroundound. So she put all the this is put all the recycling in the greer bin by accident, which is for the just the normal refuse and it comes she was like, ye, I've just done that. I've had to swap with bins are disgusting, by the way. You need to get them cleaned every week I was like no I'm not the one fucking climbing through them it You do you know, when youre looking after the ksenter, no one's asking you to do the fucking recycling takes for myself and then wines about it. She does everything. she's amazingoo babooab Starting or growing your own business can be intimidating and lonely at times. Your to do list may feel endless with new tasks, and lists can easily begin to overrun your life. 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VenMo Master card issued by the Bangcor Bank NA Who cares about your poops? Ollie does. That's why Ollie's science back to gut health lineup help support your family's regularity. From daily probiotics to fibergummies your kiddles will love. Find it all on ali d. comot That's ollY dot com. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease bab,ooab haven't Big news Big news for me. Yes. Big news. Have you had your vasectomy? Fort not, close. When are you gonna get? rightight? Okay Keep interrupting. I'm sry. A'ollyine I'm used to it you do it every day life You need to get this is reminding me. You need to get your vasectctomy. Do you know what I need to get? And I've got a week this week. this week is a perfect week. I need to get me ESPS get your ESPS. Not tooough for you I need to go and get me ESPS. Right Why can't I do ot needle I's you ride through How much to let me do it No. I'll buy one of the little I'll buy the weei gun The weat g? No, no, thank you. No. I need to get them done. I had them done when I was fifteen and then I closeed them up because I'm useless, but I need to get them done. Anyway, get your Shall I get my SSPS as well? No, please God, no I couldn't marryage someone with theSPS. No. Both just the left one. No, Cs the right one turns again. C you g. You got the right one? it turns the have to leave Um Please don't my hands. I couldn't, I couldn't. No, I'm sorry. and that's absolutely no disrespect to any man who's got the ES. Apart from disrespect to every single man who's got the ESPS. Oh, no I'mow I'm allowed to have things that I like and things that I don't like. Right. So no, no if you got ESPS I would leave it. Okay. Like no, don't. If if I want read it, all I've got to do is go get up me ePast. Honestly, yeah. I call bluff, I think it'd stay. I would not I would be like I wouldn't be able to look at you probably G stay. No What kind what would you have? There it is. Soould you have a hoop or a stood. Sleep a hoop G gotta be big sleeper hoop? B big gold sleepper hoo No one No that. I remember in my school Lords of Lads got their ESPS obviously left one U And then randomly some of them started getting the top bit done had And then a couple of lads got their eyebrows done, but they weren't like like rockers or gotoths or whatever you want to call that. it was the nineties, it was popular, but ye nineties seventeen vibes. D, please. No comeard no Listen, I'm going gonna make a roulette wheel. One bit says eyebrow, one bit says top of ear, one bit says right ear, one bit says L left ear. will spin thing. I'd rather you got your knob piest ever, I'm putting the exactly off if you think I'm getting the not opiest. Jking of you. Listen Speaking of medical procedures, I went for full medical last night Oh you haven't told us about this? No. I haven't told you. So I went a couple of. so I went for a full medical last night, full medical I came in, I said I' see why. I said, I'm not O to see why. It's a TV thing. I can tell he' at some point soon I came in I said, by the way, I'm dying You went, o good and then you kept talking about whatever you were talking about. So I actually could have been dying If you had got any sort of bad news of that medical You would have cried when you came in. There was no you would right, okay. I was just telling you all now, right? was being st You were not st. It't It doesn't exist in your world. bra in it for the kids. Do you know there's some people in this life, right? who like, you know when you hear of people in the light and they didn't tell anyone that they had canette. Like that is not you or I. You or I will be on here going Is is how we lived? I said When people say like, Hey, Anann' he's been you know, he or she's been so positive. They said they had four years to live and they lived for twenty years because they were so positive. I'll be like, tell me I had four years live Well, himone told me I had four years to live, but he dropped down in three days. How did he do that? heri worried himself, cried and shat himself and vomited for three days until he basically just turned himself inside out and died Be he's fucking true. So So no, so when you joked and said I'm dying by the way, Well, of course you not, becausecause you would' have told us. Right. So So what happened went up little place in Gosforth that the TV company had booked for a very exciting TV thing I'm doing, but I can't tell you what. I was sorry to be that guy What did we do?' full medical No bomb No bomb this time. Full medical, but no bum What do you mean? We didn't check we didn't do the bum the bum. Did they do that? Yeah had a gun it cracked around forty Yeahah. you wouldn't it. I asked him. I begged the prostate. offered him some money. He should probably got Ch kept dropping dropping things Drop my stuff Oops nothing. toald me I had a nice eyes notothing. wasn't taking the bed. so No For a professional comedian who's trying to sell a tour, that was that was grim. was nearly gone, but yeah, listen. I had the full fit left it left it bit later put the acc d on didn't now listen. So full medical Bizaar, some stuff checked everything like eyes, nose, throat, ears, chest. listen to me, bowel. I've never had that done before. He just goes I'll just have a listen. and he just that and he went, yeah, it's f. And I went sorry I went Yeah it just always makes noise. went as long as it's always making noise you're al right What when it doesn't make nice. Wh eer went, Well, hey, what's going on here looads of different stuff, like balance tests, all these different things. ECG Yeah, what is that again? Stick us all over you, line the bed, top off, stick us all over you, legs arms all over your torso, fucking pulled out look he's gonna jumpstart a car fucking forty oddires, pluggged them all at the things and I layer there and I went Sorry man is this gonna to hurt? You went, Oh no, no it doesn't hurt all. becauseuse I've had I had a nerve conduction test on my hands before and that's like It's like a phone vibrating down your hands. What happen to that, by the way? U S c it you just cute just li living with it because I'm just a out. so then uh Yeah, he did it. took he just set up. He does it looks the comput Iw. you' to find It can' hardt believe it took us this long to tell you M. Rest and heart rate fifty eight Exact words of the Doctor A normal healthy person person mid sixties to a hundred under sixty is what would normally expect from someone who is this is his words under sixty. from someone who is extremely fit. Wow. said Oh, hey. Thank you. Oh well done. Thank you. Well done. V happy with that. offffered him the bum again after he said that, thought he was come stillill no take guys. That's amazing Yeah Well done Hey, you know what it is, though? That's what we wantedn' it not going on forty. wanted to be fit there? Oh I couldn't belie it. I was like, that' amaz. can could you write that down on the form me right now? I've just got to write a to. did not just write like really He was like, I just got to be. That's well done. proud of you for that. Thank you. I feel like if V I went you'd go, have you how many toffee Chrisps have you ate in the last year? Well because honesty. Tew people bought us after listen to the podcast, we made to bote us Tffee Chrisps, which is so kind But I I ate four yesterday. I'm fucking. Well, in all honesty, I was supposed to go to ji Jitsu yesterday, but I think I kicked you out because I got halfway there and I realized I still had really, really long nails that I'd forgotten. You came charging through the door. Oh me nail that's too long. Yeah, becausecauseuse it' embarrassing. There's no one everays anything's nothing. sometimes I'm doing it I' sitting and I look at someone's toes on the mat G've got like Freddyruornials like lot of hell. So I'm like no Chance soire I came back and but then there was part of it well I was like, I can rush now and it' be twenty five minutes late But ye this'll be the one way I hurt myself and I don't pass the medical. And also I was going asked us to do the medical next week, but I'm going on a stag due at the weekend. and I was like, if I go after a stag d, I'll probably I'll be sevenenty you'reing Yeah you're resting hot. You're resting hart. it's hundred and ten. And I'm glad that you're okay. Thank you. I feel like we'll talk about you medical for enough, so Oh wagine can. Iagine that. Bapa Doo, Babaoo, Bapaoo B! aboo It was the kids sports day the other day. Yes. whichich was lovely. It was always a nice day. The sunshine, it was great. It was on they did it on like a sports field, which is ne the sports field is neah kind of like a public bit like with road the Hills and stuff and I don't know if you noticice this, okay. I need to stop listening to podcasts. I need to stop watching documentaries because I'm going mad and I don't think anybody else gives a shit. There was a young lad on a scrambling bike with a stupid mask on on a mot was a scrambler, I think Yeah, like dirt road dir right? Yeah they might have called it I'm just because I don't know if to call it scramblers all over the country, I think that's just what we call them. All right, okay. Well he's going to scramble Ronnie scramblles He had a horrible like Halloween mask on. Really, really freaky, really I thought he was gonna come down and murder everyone. I thought he was going to st I I thought there was going to be a shooting r. I thought he was gonna come down and murder. So I kept an eye on him. I did not stop looking at him. Congratulations. We were at separate ends. so you were watching Rae and I was watching Robin. We've never spoke all this. So we were at separate ends of the thing and I watched him and I watched him and he stopped on the hill at the other side and he just stood and he kept watching and I was like He's going to come in here and start I thought he was going to shoot anyway. I literally was like, rightight I'll get Robin. I was like, he's near Rae. He'll get Rith. Yeah all the other parents eyelid What's wrong with us Nobody I was like I was like Wh one? Why is nobody watching this nter? To. Why sorry, who turned out not to be a nut I come just Yeah but got his phone for a bit and I was like, who was you ring? Either than not Iate, they's aroundong with. Anyway nobody was watching, nobody seemed to be making any sort of plan to get the children. Whereas I was ery much ready to run. Yeah. Four. And away from a motorike with a potential gun, wouldn't have much chance I' be honest. No, absolutely. But I thought, well, at least I'll try. And even in my head, I went, well, if I can save some of other kids in the time as well. what's wrong? Well I'm so glad that you noticed because I thought I was going mad. I exact I knew were going gonna say that straight awayay. But nobody did anything Nobbody was bothered. Itn't seem to be kred. that's just a crrae. I wish I lived that life. Well that's the thing as well though that's why they say listening to loads of murder podcasts and watching load of murder doum is a red flag. becausecause yes, it makes you vigilant in some cases, but it also makes you a fucuckking lunatic No it can imagine ye also ruins your life a bit because Yeah, but I can imagine some people take it even further than that literally like, you know, they'll phone their partner and they don't anwer once the ph the police and they're like I he's being murdered and you're like,' sorry was just having shit. he hasn't phoned you back. You know what I mean? I'm not that bad, I mean, I think you've got You've got to be on alert if there's like with the Daft stupid mask at a kids sports day But it was on my watch. It was in an area where that happens a lot. There's a lot of scrambleer bike. Mayhem goes on ar And then the police were flying around for ages after that, didid you see that? I didn't. Oh so there you go. He must have killed everyone at the other sports day on the other side of the hill. Thank God. Baboo baboo baboo. It's time for what you bee. What is you bee be be Right, I'm gonna go first because your beef cannot be anywhere near as big as my beef. Okay D't tell you right now Wake up, probably half seven Was it half seven? No. Was it half eight? No. Was it half nine? No. Was it half ten? No. Was it half eleven? No. Was it midday? It was midday. It was midday on Sunday before. You all those two little shits that we live with. told me happappy Father's Day. Well, listen, I was texting my my dad. I was texting my mates saying as anyone else been completely ignored yet. And the lads were like what? And I was like, no one I was like, there's no card There's no there's no presence.. No one's even glaming. It flashed as a nice smile. And I wasitting because at one point, I was sitting with his text from mone No one's fuck and said anything Like no one said anything to the point where I was like, is there a massive surprise coming? Is a fucinking new car going pull up on the drive? Is a helicopter going to land and drop us swiming? Robin and Raf just wanted their breakfast and I took Robin to re scooting lesson and they came back and they just fucking demanded stuff all day and Tret is like shit as usual. You were hung over. hung over But sorry, okay, okay. It was to the point where I thought if it gets past midday is it like April fool where it's just like we don't do it anymore. canan I for a minute just I don't want to throw them under the bus Bat you're about to bl'm about Well, I'm sorry, right. I got in I was I'd had the Je S show, which went very well, by the way. thank you very much. Thankking everyone who came. And then we always go out on the drink after and I got in at three o'clock in the morning. Brilliant H had a lovely time. No, actually might not be in that late actually, I think it was about half one. It wasn't crazy. An anyyway I went in my Ensuite bathroom in the me dressing room.es I' a spotobrah and there was but this is the wildlife that we live. Robin had chose that room to wrap the present. Yeah. donon't know why? because he know Ion't go in there because it's a pix sty. So anyway, I got in there. you hadn't wrapped one of your presents. so drunk, I wrapped the last present. With parcel tape I didn't have any cell tape it' not pcel tape. But I thought Naively I thought right he's ten now. He loves stuff. He loves like birthdies and all that He loves giving people loves giving people a gift. So I thought right well he will Come and get these in the morning and give them to you. So in my defence, I thought right this is the first year where I don't really have to do it and I thought that would have all happened and then had me coffee and everything and then I went in the bathroom and I was like Oh Th have not been given out. So then I got the kids. I rallied the kids. Rae got his c that he'd made you from school out whichich was lovely. You cried at the presence I didn't just cry. I was nearly hysterical. It was that much of a nice present. It was of the present. It's a little key ring and it says Dad on it and you open it up, it's like a little letter pouch and you open it up and then there's like multiple photos of the kids and it was just so sweet and so lovely and it was worth the almost mid day Sry Well I'm sorry. Morning of morning of why do I can't bother around here. all but In my defense You're not my dad. So I think there has to be some responsibility far as we know, you know Sorry about that. genuinely sorry. I thought when I'd seen them on the floor I thought, well, Robins got to the point where I was just like, this is really funny. I was like, how long could it go cards on the table? I was quite disappointed when I saw them coming up with the presents because I was like, o, you wanted the full ch? Like imagine it was bedtime I could you fucking imagine that clap out of me. if it was like night night. Oh wait. Well I think it's well we don't make a big thing these things Genally, I genally wasn't asked. It was just a funny it was just funny. Sorry, sorry genuinely s forful presence. Well, I've bought them all and I thought, Robin wrapp them so I thought he'll remember the moment but clearly just. Let me just go over what I got. So I got me I got my little little thing. Yeah. I got a just for men C Yes. for Ca bit out me beard., Did you see Jel D onam's video recently? No, no Ive seen him he did a video of getting ready to go ask Ask it. Ask it. Hey he dyes his beard Should we be texting? go in. We've already M and Joel have already had this diss. Okay, then there you go. read it di gets exactly what D di gets, but he auddits it from America and don't like order stuff from America because that it makes us worried Or does he die from America? Yeah it's from America And don I don't know what color I'd be or anything. I don't know. In the perfect world I want to just go here has one that'salf finished. Do you want tona try that one and I'd go, yeah definite he hasn't yet hlfish. you think he's the nice guy, tellelly? fucking jokeking are? No so yeah And I saw Ben Chpp the other day and I told him I said you're both think to do a bead think because Jo's well in all that 'cause they're doing their skin thing. Anyway and why don't you do something? What fuck. This lack of entrepreneurial brain in your head really upsets me. could start a bloody die for beards Oh ye all right. I you kind You over the fucking hill, yeah I just can't see. I I'm a busy man, I'm busy. So what else did I get? Oh, I got a lovely pair of pajamas that you immediately said, donon't ever wear them out the house. J fully give us the ick, but I'm really happy that you like them. So And I really like them. L I really like I went and got a shower. I talkking about getting clean. I went and got a shower specifically. I didn't really need one but I was I can put my new dramas on. So I got a shower. I put them on. they came in a plastic packet so no one had tried them on in the shop. Yeahah, I got them online everyone listening. they're Chelsea Piaz. Chelsea Pz is a really well known brand. They're like the best drmies in the land soft and alls but they're likeav at the front. But they navy blue shorts Navy blue shorts and then a short sleeve navy blue with white trim like a bowl and shirt You look like Santa in the winter? No, but they're fine for the house. Don't wear them out at the house because they're very ggy. They are proper icky. Like you look like a little boy But it's fine, but I've got the long leg one we're matching, but I don't have the short. I've got the legs. M can you imagine a world where someone gives you a present? goes There's your present. Don't wait in front of us. It's disgusting. No you wait in front of me, I don't mind, but not anyone else like I'd be embarrassed If my mom's around y trapped present? No, do you know what sweet? I thought you knew you would love them. anyway. I love them. I've got a beef with you. Go by. He love them pjam so It get the minute And I don't know, it's just really upsetting You just keep disappearing and going and chipping your golf ball in the garret in the garden You do it. Like we're having a conversation. And you just leave and I'm like, and I'll go with the kids I go, where whereere's dad? Like, where's he g going? And're like, And I just see you in the garden just chipping this golf ball around, but you just You just keep disappearingge. It's like When the golf ball calls, the golf ball calls, I just need to leave. I just need to leave and been chip N made You didn it made conversation the day we're still having a conversation.'m building up just I'm building up to being able to chip it over the house I're going to go front corner to back card Like that blow. Like Bryon D Chamaoy ye. Please talk to that What about the windows? Well, I was watering the plants the other day last night and you and Rom were both doing it and I was like, can you not? you' gonna kill it? A I't control it. He can't. He topops it and sc schools it right across the lawn and He he bed the frency idea I thought we put hole in and how much is can you Ohorry Oh sorry, it'sry for him, right? becauseuse I shout down the idea for this and you told me off. It'sorry for him to pick up gravel and fuck and smash it with a tennis rack, God knows where, but I can't ice me short ring chipping. me around the green short game and I want the very own goard. You can. It's just when you just disappear and do it though. Maybe you mayaybe you go out of it. Never thought of that Maybe you're just banging on a bit and I'm done. Maybe I'm finished with the conversation, hh Oh, he's gonna regret that He said it so confidently, but he's got it You're gonna honey that. I'm gonna put yourort jamas. Is this top too small for me Babooab dooab. 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Or Sam, who never goes anywhere without her roommate knowing exactly where she is Some journeys are meant to be shared Share your ride in real time with shhare My trip on Uber. One more way Uber is putting safety at every turn. Learn more on the Uber app. Study and play. Come together on a window eleven PC. And for a limited time, college students get Of both worlds! Get the unreal college deal, everything you need to study and play with select Windows eleven PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft three hundred sixty five premium and a year of Xbox GamePass Ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more at windows dot com slash student offer. Law Supplies last ends june thirteth turns at aka dot mS slash college PC Bab do baba do, baba. It's timeing for questions from the public from the public in the sun ChanQuions from the public in the su an S A Chan get me back. In the sunshine She's very excited because it's suny outside. As always, if youd like to get in touch, it ishaged Marriedennoid Jmail d. com if you' would like to send a long form written correspondence. But if you would like to send a cheeky little voice note, it is zero seven eight seven four. four zero six six five zero. That is zero seven eight seven four four zero six six five zero thank you and Before we continue ye I've got a very important question. H? Would you like to share a bottle of pinot Grigo with me tonight Yes Yes Is that it? Yeah. It could have asked that off the pod, but happy do. listen There it is. E fantastic time. And I'm playinglf tomorrow. What a great twelve hours I've got ahead of me. And I'm sleeping. I' having some sleep as well. Sleep's good Come on Sometimes you've just got a What you what would you like Peta In the sun Yeah. Tra a barbecue. No pain in the ars. awful Barbecues are the worst barbecues, donon't get started. I'm sure' be sponsor any here before. fucking waste of time. Our kids won't eat anything off of them. No Raf has a fucking bun. Awful. Absolutely Robin likes barbecue, Robin likes bd. wan to stand upside cooking and stink the smoke and be greasey as fuck and then eat this and be maybe ill. Yeah, let's do God Hi Rosing Chris. sorry can I just say I'm very aware that I'm in the minority of barbeue. Eone loves barbecue. I love I love barbecue'm right. Genuinely, rightight? And this is this I'm going really upset a lot of people here Honestly, I'd rather have a sandwich. I'd rather sit and have a sandwich in a beer or a pizza in a beer, D't bother with aarbecue. It doesn't don't it. It does nothing for us. This is ah bullshit. Does't do Absolute bullshit. Whenever I've done the bbecue and you've ate your gun that was absolutely g. Yeah, that's that. Yeah. But then when you look nobody you to do it.. I know I've got to get it out the shed. No I' I'll buy a little portable one because you that shit that we don't even use were barbecue The the outcome was after So you would eat it if you just did it in the nice Piez of them that I never use Yeah for. I love sandwiches though Anyway and I prefer a flan Hi, Rosie and Chris. I was Just a nice little an anecdote. Yes for you today This morning I was having my breakfast sat on the sofa when my partner walked in holding the box of tin foil and said Isn't it amazing We've had the same tinfoil the whole time we've lived here. And in a Buck it says, We have lived here for four years, by the way I then had to explain to him that I've been buying refill rollles I' just putting it in the same box What? Oh I love them. That's fantastic dude man. Don't Don't give them an open goal like that, dude, you can't just that that is a little, it's an entry level, it's an entry level drug. you, didn't even notice I did that. You don't notice anything I do around here right? I'm gonna stop doing this. I'm gonna stop doing that M come on. kindind of wish I'd went along with it now and let him think it was everlasting. that ever raed tin foil. You know what? Tin fooil right, tin foil King film and bacon. what it called paper, the bakeon sheet paper Greaspofed per Don't realize how important it is until it runs out. Don't you not? You don't though. The other day k was was it was a ten foil Everyone roll in the kitchen is invaluable. I'm telling you right God, honestly, like don't I just think we' take it for granted Did they run out at certain things like if you run out showerers J you go, I've got a rogue bar or soap somewhere or I'll wash me pitits with this shampoo or hand what There's loads of other There's loads of other alternatives, right? Yeah. If you run out a Kling film Why using You were not a Tin file ling fil, Well, we've also got them little bags that were reused. Yeah, yeah yeah like fair enough. fair Okay the bagelles in the same way. You know what it was, was greaseproof paper the other day. Yeah. I needed it for something And I'd run out of it and I didn't have tin fooile, then I went well I I' saying stuff on now you're right, those was stuff on a roll invaluable. If you need it tin you tried doing a chicken while putting that tin fooil over the top. It was chicken. Yeah, yeah. Dry stak. You remember? Yeah, it was horrible. sorry. Kitchen rooll as well. You ever tried doing a full English without some kitchen roll? No Y' meant over a kitchen roll, though. I used to be, I'm a lot better now. Yeah Well, I'm a lot better now. I'm sure I've slagged you off the other week for that. You will not let Reve wipe his little mouth on that tea towel No, because then I'm going to make food and tooothpaste on the t toel, what's going on? I'm making food with that. The the toothpaste comes mes after that. I can't have that, I can't have toothpe I food I let him every day, so whatever. I don't let him. hold on, what was that going to say? I was going to say something. I was going to say something about inf Afica Well that twenty minutes you've got from that, Edinward show you did about ten four I could do a full I could do a twenty minutes vote in vote Don't eat this? Oh ye. I still I still can't use cling film I still can't buy a shit Oh, that's what I was going to say. Me Nana. W me, Nana the other D, she's got this thing on a wall And it's like got the tin foil in it. So she made some banana bread and she was like, draw some and I was like, Iome. And she like pulled the tin foil. it's on our wall. She pulled it, thinged it across and I was like This is amazing. I wouldn't put on me wall.ne would don't live that life. two, you'd say I don't want that on your wall. Three would come in one day, you'd come in you'd open the front door and there'd be some tinfile on the floor in front of you And that line of tin foil would lead from your feet at the front door theiten all the way down the corridor into the kitchen and Raiff would have pulled all of the fucking tin foil off It's not something we can do. Hate them. Forget it right now But you know what I keep doing? And I know do I'm trying to be really aw and not embarrass them and not think, o, I don't want them to listen to this in years to come they probably hopefully never listen. Don't never listen this. Keep just leaving random pisses in toilets, not thrusting the chain and then you walk in a room and you're like why is it smell like fish? We've tald them little boy pie. They've taught them that. Who' taught them? The school's taught them that. Wh? And I'm sure I told your Cev and your Cv said it was off meet the fuckers or something I am If it's yellow, let it mellow. if it's brown, flush it down. He? It's to save water. So my house just has to smell like piss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, brush it down. I saw reef for something If you're not seeing the way they don't understand. it is like Women don't understand how difficult it is sometimes to keep the piss into the toilet when it's spraying all over the placeer. It's the starting and the finishing Once you've got the stream Listen up everyone, but thank you for coming me Ted talk Once you've got the stream of the piss Gone straight, it's easy to keep it where it is, but when it starts, it can be rogue and when it finishes it can be a bit rogue, right Raf, I saw him today standing up the pace, right and at the same time he was like scratching his stomach like that So it was just fucking again it was going went you can't do that. It was going everywhere. you can't do that when you've got to stay still when it's happening. And then the tiles underneath start smelling a p. It's when it go, it's when because we've got them floating toilets not floating They're attached to the wall. you know what I mean It's when it goes down the bottom and underneath And sometimes sorry everyone, but sometimes I get the paper the toile paper I will wipe underneath and it's like orange on the bottom. It's like in stallic. I know it is because it sts it.ve got I've got to flash it all the time. Halfway through the last anecdote that you were saying about running out a shower gel Don't know if you're away. Paul Hutchinson, he's done on his Instagram. He mion it on Instagram and I think he's mention it on his podcast, but you won't be aware of this He told me he was backstage at a gig And there was a shower there And he went to go and use the shower and he opened the shower curtain in the shower. was a bottle of fairy liquid someone the one on the road on the doa had had a shower at this venue and wash their body. with fairy li. It's sad times isn't it And so that would it too so it's so greasy. So like like ick in it It's flaggy. That It's like thick sun creream in it. Yeah. Not a fan of that. Not a fan of that and Just really quickly, somebody messaged in. I'm not going to read the full thing, but it's Hi Chris and Rosie. Your discussion about a white party on holiday sparked a memory About seven years ago I was invited to a whide party for a charity event startarted early afternoon on a Sunday. And as a result, the venue put food on ice What food you think would be the safest to eat at a white party If it wasn't spaghett bonners or something was it? Eater. It's coy full Cy at the White party. She said it was just an absolute disistay. She tip gravy all on the front of a white dress I literally, Rosie I would I knew you would end I wouldn't let you I you cantate. You can't Oh, that's brilliant. Oh so that's so that's where great. You got your red cabbage. That's when England really lets itself down, doesn't it? Yeah. Like surely could that venue not have been at it's a white party. Everyone's gonna be white at summerery Oh and could the chef not have been like, well, maybe maybe not the cvery that day Yeah. mayaybe not the Covery that day. mayaybe Maybe' to the thing at beige. Do a beige buffy Bffet finger for sandwiches. No No we'll have a full Cvery. You. If it was all white stuff, it would be like I remember years and years ago I got my teeth whitened. like just with the cream stuff you put on and the put the UV lights I to eat mash. You just got to eat. I think I what was it? you only could eat white stuff for like the full day. So it was like White rice, white pit of bread I think I had rice Krispies. I remember waking up in the middle of there's no constipated. Yeah. So I woke up No no, I woke up in the middle of the night and I could feel just like a mass of stuff and me start I had a neck a neckload of water and I physically felt it move. and I was like, o I'm okay now and it went down. Oh was madness. Madness Abberooabadoo,abad do bab Hey, this is Gemma. I'm just Snd to the voice notorth because I am rel listening to the podcast Probably the fifieth time. Love you. I know Chris says I' Chris probably thinks I'm mad, but No, I love you. I really enjoy. It's like my when I'm doing housework and stuff, just having you guys on in the background. I supped be clean Cross the old episode Fish Guy, when you lived in your old house with your fish tank and I'm just wondering Did the fish tank migrate to the new House with the? or is bubbles the fighting fish somebody else's problem I don't listen to these people I don't want to get in trouble The fish tank didn't come with her. No. 'll be honest with you the fish tag didn't come with her. We left it there. We left it there Thank you Pin and on I took them to a farm. this right. A lovely big reservoir. and I'll put them in there With all the other fish to, those the fish friends. Okay good. notot bubbles that can only be on their own Was it called bubbles? I think fighting fish. Yeah. So I went actually fightish. Japanese fighting fish is was what they're called. Dick heads the compb be with another one. The beit a fish or whatever the compb be with another one. It's the fight, the Dicks. I went weirdly I went pets at home the other day and me and Rf were just killed them at a time J just I was walking past it with Ref for me weated doneun ar to get them cups that you hated Thank you again. And I'll walk in and we'll look at the fish tank. all the f the Japanese fight fish, they're all in separate little compartments of the tank ' because they're just dicks and they'll just kill each other. U But yeah, no no comment about what I did with the fish. what What are got to over you? Why are you all up in business? Why is listent the podcast so much? What are you obsessed with this? You literally said you love them.. that I Babaoo, bab doo, baboo. Hi Please keep me anonymous I've had this story for years, but when I heard Chris mention having to put the toilet paper in the bins in Greece, it reminded me to send this in.. contextorry I just say it isn't that weird? Becauseuse that was just a tiny little offhand comment I didn't talk loads about that. I just said Sometimes you got it was it was a momentary little quip And it's amazing that it can just unlock something in someone's brain. God, I love that For context, we were living in southern France working for an Irish aviation company Okay, right e. A Aol lingus in the south of Font I don't know what they're doing theou in France, because they're the only two Irish aviations companies exact same thing. God. So it was like Air conditioner I something think Is that flying Oh why did you do this?? I genuinely I was like an Irish Air conditioning company. Aviation in Sou France. Flying All right now I get the aviator. Oh you' think of that filmon Leonardo Capio the avator away was an air condition salesman I've never seen good 's a pilot Is it good though I tot love Newk. One of the guys we were with was originally from Scotland and a few of his mates had come over for a visit. We were having some drinks and chatting about holidays and how we were just back from Crete, twenty nineteen where I binged your podcast backlog and have been listening ever since obiously He mentioned he had been in Greece but wasn't a fan of the weird toilet situation We sort of passed over it, but then my husband came back to him and said, Sure the toilets aren't that weird. You only have to put toilet paper in the bin This is where the lad's face dropped. and he said What you mean the toa paper You put everything in the bin. We laughed and said again, No, just the paper What were you doing? Turns out. He was putting his entire shit into the bin doing it the toilet first then getting it out and putting it in the vin So I'll explain. At this stage, you can imagine we could hardly breathe for laughing and him trying to explain himself in his Irish accent just kept making it even funniyer It says Cew Rosie' Scottish accents but' I can't Scottish accent acc. then., hang on Yeah Bonic moonlon. I was just wrapping my hand with toilet roll and doing me jobby on it, covering it and throwing it into the bin So he was mummif fying his hand with toilet roll. Sitting in his Sitt in. What did he think the toilet was there for? pace Probably just we. Probably just thought it was for number ones and then you had to do you two ot hot bin by the way. It's always hot bin. It's always hot so yeah We explain he was definitely wrong. and if that was the case, he could have just shit directly into the bin. Can you imagine this man's been going to Grease for a fortnite every year of his life? Can you imagine? You have a shit every day, really, don't you? Fourteen a year Fteen a year for fifteen years. And we were hling at this. He hadd even told all his friends and family not to go to Greece because he can't even shit in a diet Oh no don't want be going to police. I love the idea. there's a small, very, very small percentage of people in Scotland who all fully believe that who he spoke to that all fully believe that in case you've got a shit in your hand and throw it in the title Yeah. You know what that saying? I'd rather shit in my hand and clap. They're fucking halfway, there they are. That was really good. I'm all right, you know M right. Oh no, I need to practice mine. It was really good Was it up? Yeah. Well I can't handle a compliment. Can you say everyone? If you saw I heard, I can't handle a compliment on the podcast, I go all weird only said you had a good Scottish accent. That's more than you normally say. Anna said you were very fit. God I'm really nice to you did you did not say I was very fit. You got your medical? Yeah, I told you that Syence said I was very fit and you said well done. I congratulate on you fit. S same thing as you saying I'm very fit. Ss anle I'm going to start watching Outlander again, you know? Oh Godd. the smelly Finny Express, No, thank you Chey dick Cy dick. All of berboard fucking cheheesy bellnd midnight Til No, thank you No, thank you.