Childhood Memories and Weather App Ideas

Coming up on this week's episode ofhag Mare annoyid. Lot of us mourning about being old. We are doing some prper old person mourning on behind bloody pull the sticks out of our asses. Chris is very tired. I'm a tired little teddy bear But Rosie has got me back for once Coffee beef. Both coffee related beefs tells me where it again, tells me where we are in life And as always, questions and voice notes from you, lovely lot. Enjoy. Hi everybody, It's James and Andy here from your next favorite podcast No Such Things A Fish. Yes, we are two fourths of a group of people who love facts and we love to find new facts and we come here every week and tell each other about them. For instance, Andy, did you know that one of the world's oldest cycling road races is getting much harder because people keep stealing the road I want to know more already, but I'mead gonna tell you my new fact, which is that some ancient coffins from the seventeenth century have faces. The coffins have faces. Really c. Not just on the inside. No. Wow, if you like the sound of those facts or indeed facts in general, then come and find those noisingers of fish wherever you get your podcasts Hello, you are listening and watching Sag Marinoid with me, Rosie Ramseay. My husband, Christopher Ramsey, still married, still going strong. Y Baladdy Balady B bloody blah Bly Next month it'll be twelve years. Am I right? Yes twenty fourteen U Yes. twenty fourteena got married. So yeses twelve twelve years. that's insane as well. Well done. Well done o God. Hello everyone by the way,. you a chance to say hello Yeah, well done, well done if you're not around the old twelve years as well, or even if one year, or even if you're not with anyone, well done for everything you're doing. I'm proud of you. Y. and neither of us, not that I know of scratch that itch No, that seven year itch. But didn't the seven year itch was a thing I mean, I was was itchy But I intoper Here it was it ch., You got cream I've told you. Now listen We're going to crack straight on and I'm going to explain why. Thank you so much for listening, thank you for being here. Thank you for watching. If you're watching on YouTube please consider subscribing and that would will be lovely. I've got to catch Mr. Beast He's on five hundred million subscribers. atch him Well, good luck with that old social media ban. Catch him No yeah, good point. mister Beast I think it'd be fine. But listen it is time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. This week's sponsor. It's why I feel groggy, it's why I'm tired. It's why I feel like a little bit like this is a dream and I wanted to be over with something go and have some sleep. It's this week's sponsor Hi guys, party back at my hotel room after whatever fucking shit h've be new. By the way, it's right next door to Chris Ramsey's hotel room and we'll just have our music blaring all night Asholes. So bad. Raging. So I did tell them So I did Mot the Week yesterday Mot the week, by the way, if Mot the Week was the sponsor, Mot the week would be N a week. Three days of panicking, three hours of laughter. no, you are shitting your pants. Shitting my pants. It was really strange. Do you know the last? The last time I did Mot the week One of our friends, Michael of Michael and Chloe phoned me in the dressing room to tell me Chloe was pregnant with their first child And how old is just twelve? Yeah That's that's the last time I did M. Well, it's not because the program finished No, no, no. kept going for ages. I've upset I was a pain. I am I just been a pain in the arer or might I just not been being the right fit? likeike You know? Oh knows I think you've setcept some one. probablyablyul is forgiven and we had a lovely time. as you listen to this now, it' have be been on Wednesday just before the Englland match, which is obviously tonight as we record this but yeah, it's u Three days of absolute panic. Yeah. absolute genuine fear. I've never Again, you know how you know how I went into the trrade as podcast, even though I hadn't seen tradead as. So I went and agreed to do not the week, even though I legit haven't watched the news. since twenty twenty. You can I tell them No Yes, go on then You said to me Who's Andy Burnham? Yeah, 'causeuse I kept getting emails of news stories about a guy called Andy Burnham and I was like, you the f. O onnce I saw his photo, I recognized him and it all clicked. I wasn't I just wasn't aware of his name. I'm jeous. I'm jealous. I li under a fucking rock. But then I don't understand what you're upset about all the time You don't know about anything. I get I'll get myself wound up about politics and I have to like take a step back for a day or two Yeah. And then I get upset again. but you you're just a bit angry sometimes. what' about like you don't know anything about the world I do know some st.t I I just specifically don't follow politics at all. I find it boring and I find it sad Cke did you just do a lot of smiling and nodding? No I wrote jokes on what I had jokes on and what I didn't have jokes on, I just laughed at everyone else's jokes. but I literally watched What if you didn't understand it and you weren' meant laugh the pant you and you're like Oh my god he's laughing No, but alsoil that man. Well, the thing is, the beautiful thing about the reason I'm doing stand upp again Oita second leg on sale now for the autumn, September October, November, December.comy. com. the reason I love doing standup now again and the reason I really enjoyed doing M the week was On this podcast and on all podcasts People take the media and people take what you say as oh this is their opinion. Whereas on Mot of the Week, you know it's a joke. I said some shit yesterday that I don't agree with at all, but it was a joke. Like they're jokes. No, but they're just jokes. Do you know what I mean? But I stayed away from all I stayed away from all the political stuff one because I don't understand it too because it makes us sad for three because I don't know who most of them are. But you know, all the other stuff is fine. anyway listen, So I did m the week. It was great for fun was fantastic. Went to me hotel afterwards Um Or Mr Ramy, we've upgraded you They never upgrade you when you're there for more than one night Yeah. you're there for one night, Oh' upgraded you to a massive sueite with the balcony. fucking pointless I'm literally going at eleven o'clock. I got in at eleven o'clock. I went straight I went to see about midnight A half two in the morning, I just hear a load of fucking people outside my room so they're all piling into some guy's room right next door to mine to the point where I thought it was so ld on the balcony with music. I thought I' climb ont in my balcony because it's got this hotel's got a couple of a couple of rooms balconies And I was just fucking lying there. and it's that thing of totally understand Do you remember like neighbors from Hell and that? I understand fully When people would lose their fucking rag and go around with a baseballat and smash the theirighbors's windows in because the were just relentlessly and tortured.. Tottally understand it. Don't condone it, but totally understand. Yeah. So I'm lying there bed and I canar them. and' I fuckking I hear music I' hear them talking. There must be been twenty people in his room. It was crazy, right Ira I was a bloke I'll get to that. Well I don't. I'm assuming I'm assuming it was a block I'm just assuming because of how I'll tell you. So they were playing all these different music. The mic I was going to lean over the bally at one point and say two things. one stop it to I can kind of have your playlist becausecause it's genuinely good music. Oh, okay. So what kind of music was it? Loads of different At one point it was there was a teenage wird and then the old folks wished them were. Oh, okay, so I like them a little bit more now. Oh it' still a bunch a bunch stillill a bunch sorry. I didn't mean to drop the se bum, but yeah, I hate them. too bad for you. Thank you. Solidarity.ood good mus. I thought. was genuinely good So a change to that once everyone left and there was one person left on their own again, I'm skipping ahead because you're not letting us tell me story.'t Don't like phone reception and I was like, the boomaxters mate looses nisees' like'll send something Oh God honestly. I. And I'll tell you why Yes, Jo Braziles a blue belelt probably should have knocked on the door and gave some helpll. But the thing is If you knock on the door or if you hang over the ballet and say something I get like a burst of adrenaline and I wouldn never have slept again anyway, so I'm like right off. And also not worth it. I told about the video I watched the other day Sometimes it was a police officer and they were just like sometimes, even though you see him likeike an absolute pusse in the moment. sometometimes just walking away from a confrontation. the safest thing to do because of course you know what it is fight with this random stranger or die. I mean, never I would just went back the room shut the door. Yeah, but could have stabbed you through the door open the door, stabbed you really quick, shived you right there and then you're dead on the floor. And they're just like, well, still dancing. still dancing. go've just killed some bloke. So yeah, so you've been in the news for three weeks. and then't get days isuck. I wee. So Um I yeah, I just I just sort of lay there. So from half to unt basically half four. I just lay there gutted I had the half seven train books and I thought, fuck this. And I went on the LNR website and I just found that I was like first train out of London's five hundred forty eight. I was like, yeah we go. So I got up and As I left, I opened the balcony door and stuck me head out Someone on the balcony was chain smorking and the music had changed to like So they were still up at ten past five. That brick, it was definitely a block was sitting on the balcony. and And obviously I took I did me classic. I took his do not disturb sign off the door. Good, That's gone So someone will knock them up. We did think about call in the room. I was I said on my way out, I said I said, can you call rooms from outside? And they went, Yeahah, And I went right okay. I thought, I'm going to ring them at like nine o'clock. You'll be like You better than that? Well, also they'll go what's name and I'll go, hello. my friend is in room such and such. C I canan you put us through, they'd go What's's name? I'd go Iight I don't know. like But like do you know what blows my mind because I'm sitting here being like five o'clock I used to s up at five o'clock in the morning. you you got the chance. you still still in two or three. Well, we can, right?. But that's in my own home. I'm not disturbing anyone because I'm not an asssehole. Yeah. But like that's a nice hotel That's an expensive room. Yeah. You're talking Central London, right? For the smallest room in that hotel. It's about four hundred pound a night.'s crazy czy expensive. So these people But they were all in the hotel, but they were all in the hotel as well because they' all just privileged little bast. The Brady's fucking door shut at one point, your whole room shut, they all left the Brady's door shut and they all went to their rooms I appreciate them? Well do you want Honestly, if you guys are listening You're really upset my lad. He's had no sleep, He's absolutely shattered. He'd had a really hard day at work. He was really stressed. So you know what it is you and I hope I really hope that some just hope you triped down the stairs. I hope you stand on a clg Yeah I hope we stand on a plug. hope you I hope you get indigested and you can't get rid of it all day. Yeah lie down and it hur. Yeah, I hope you got win. I hope it goes up, it travels up to your shoulder and you have to go to a hospital ' you really upset my lad So shame on you and I fell asleep on the train on the way back and I hurt me neck And he's hurt his neck. And I asked for a beaten sandwich on the train and then forgot it and I had to get off People have forgot he's pitten sandwich Let's get pathetic now I've got your back,arl. I feel like I've took you down the street holding your hand to the bully' house and you're standing on the drive. I good for. Thank you very. I've got you backelve years. has to twelve more years.. This is how we do it . But no, I feel your pain because it's just the worst thing. worst thing M when I did comic relief the Rang. hotel ro hotel rang is it? The fucking person from the room service rang as at midnight. And she was like was it the seeded bread and I was like What?? Haven't ordered anything unplug then well, well now I do and then I just didn't sleep. So I did comic relief on two hours sleep when I was so upset anyyway, so I totally get it. But Wangers who are just loud, but so I've never been that person I've always been annoyingly conscientious. Yeah Yeah to like to a fault sometimes because actually I think I was bitivid when I was younger. And if people and my friends were being looud, I'd be like, guys, we should probably like Pro I was ab bought ye Yeah. I've left house parties because people in people in the building have complained andids have refused to turn the music down and I've gotone right on I m stick off by the rules like. I just think when you read like I remember how it was it a house P party wantce for me it was like paid for that room, like Yeah, when I was at house partarty once for me, it was like the person up downstairs came upair and knocked they' like you're being inatin and you' like o, you always knocks. and Well you were always loud then I want to think can hear you you can hear you and you're loud, like and they've got kids like what the fuck? So yeah Anyway, you know I don't know, but it was it was just it was just one of the things where And the thing is I'm not I'm not scared I was trying to explain this to you. I'm not scared of knking on the door or leaning over the balcony and blokees being like fuck off me because I can handle that if it was like fouck off me and it was like an argument with a guy. I'm always just' I don't know what it is, but I'm It's like the schoolboy in is. I'm always frightened that I'm going to knock on the door and it's gonna be women and they're gonna go, Oh, get a life man you boring old twat. Is wor? It's worse if it's women. If it's men at least sitting I have a shout back, I maybe I have a fucking scrap. But if it's women and they're like, Ohh, what?'re listen to music,'re pathetic goway. I'd feel fucking microscopic. I'd be dick would go inside me buddy You know what though? I think I would be fine with it up until about midnight. Like genuinely, I'd be like, all right, fair enough. everyone wants to have a nice time. but after midnight, I'd be seething Car this has happened to Carl before and Carl has a and I tried I was gonna do it this morning but I didn't bother but C's before he's turned his hotel TV on put it full. No he didn't turn his TV on. He had a Bluetooth speaker in the room and he hooked his phone up to it and he blasted some album. he went out for breakfastight and he came up and the album was still blasting. And I was like, it's great. You get that person the other or that people there could be people above you, people below you, Anyway, all I'm saying is, if you're in a hotel First of all, hotels stop giving. when I walk in a hotel and I see that as standard, there's a Bluetooth speaker in the room Stupid fucking idea Stupid idea. If I say by the side of the bed there's ear plugs, a lot of protels do that. I already know okay, I'm in a bad time here. I'm not coming back here If you're in a hotel and you haven't people back in your room K the fucking noise down, or maybe just stop at like o'clock in theor That'd be nice just enjoy yourself kids fuckking in the Jesus Christ. Ignore me Look the bags under me my eyes man. look at eighty five. Neither ready S We had a fight about the jingle jingle We could set along a jingle jing So this is the jingle j h like the jle j Babaoo babaoo babaooab J! Hello and welcome back to this week' episode Shagmar Annid Hello I did some arm exercises two days in a row. Just a YouTube thing. this Irish lastass, but with five KJ like wait And it was just sort of like arm raises and all this kind of stuff. I swear to God. Can't move. Re? Like It's ruined me day yesterday. Steph Botlet. Are you having? Are you the opposite of Steh Bartlet? N not having fing glass. You did some exercise and it's ruined today day Ste, Stehven. We' found you know in unbreakable where Bruce Will where Samuel L. Jackson's the guy who like can break his bones just by like sneezing and And Bruce Willet he he has to find these opposite. Y're opposite. because I did the exercise without glasses of wine and I called now I call home. No honestly yesterday, I had such a bad day because I was just on I was in agony And and then it's still not great today. I'm going actually do it again. Yes to make it again with lighter weights. E I do need light weights the far too heavy. You you need to do again with light weights. There's then one on the back of the peltch. She did it with a six Gush's a professional YouTu exercise. Do do on your leg. You need a stretch. You need to stretch afterwards. Yeah. More againgain, old bastards, h people party in hotels, have hotles You need to stretch afterwards. And everyvery single time I do ji jitsu, every single time I see them all on the mat stretch afterwards and I go, I'll just go home I'll be fine. I'm never fine. I can't move for days. I need to tell you something and it's been bugging me for years, but I think it's because I'm mentally ill, right Do you know what Ji Jitsu? Yes. Every time you say it, it really upsets us because it's speelt JIU, isn't it Yeah So in my head, every time you say it, I say, J Jum in your head just like not it should just be JU, like J Jitu It's just something that stoppeding BG everything out B beG. I stoppeding BG things beG. That's not important. I said jit for a bit and people didn't like It's disgusting It just sounds like coming. It's just like just' good to be h is it's very homosexually charged. The entire thing so gl to finish. So good. as That video you shade Yeah That was prettyon Yeah guy underneath Again, sounds even g There's there's one of the best guys in the world called Craig Jones. youve brought out a rashgard a t shirt and you know you know Whatould you mean best guys in the world? Do you mean a ji jitsu? Yeah he's not best he's not your favorite He's not my favorite human. He said it He's one of the best guys? He's one of the best he's one of the best people ever He he's one of the best guys of Ju He brought you know, you know, Mountain Dew, the The drink drink. brought on a rash goard and it's the same It's the same colors But instead of mountain Dew it says mountain dudes him out You mount them mountain dudes. Great. Yeah. Someone someomeone wore one our German god fucking tant shreds. It's really funny. Oh nice Yeah. Sone was just like, a band bands Yeah,ah bandand. peaking of speaking of awfulness, another thing that really upset me yesterday. A have we just turned are we mourners now? Yeah, but listen to this. But listen to this because we've encountered something like this before, but we were on I was on the God stop stretching yourself. I was on the train and yesterday And there's these two guys and all're sitting chat to each other And I just heard one of them Out of Norway, I just heard him go Linkxs Africa And I'll have my headphones on but I think the thing I was watching must have went qui. I was writing joes. I didn't I wasn't I wasn't watching anything and I heard Linkxs Africa Iounds like right I said thought, why is he said Linkn? I' never heard anyone say Lynx Africa for years. Yeah. B back in the day, big fan of Lyx Africa And we're going to reach the Lynx phase soon. Well he's made it went Lynx Africa And I like, why they saying Lyx Afric And then I just heard urely know. sprayed on the and then I saw through the gap, he handed it to his mate. He went, Oh yeah pay them on the train oused themselves. Absolutely not. Is any smelling thing would be awful. I mean I' be honest with you, I hadn't smelled inth Africa for some time. I got a lovely blast of nostalgia when I when I got I that was impulse. Well I got the first wave of it and then it took over the entire cat but I just and I got off and I walk past it and I wanted to go We're getting off five minutes later. I want to go could you not going have done that on the toilet? Could you not do it on the ph? Why Why am I being hot boxed? Be why you change turning this carriage into a teenage boy's bedroom? What are you doing? Because all the pricks have had kids who are now pricks. Yeah. Everyone who you used to hang around with you when you were younger who would just do shit and you go, have you never been told off in your life? Yeah. They've all had kids and they don't tell their kids off. And then they've had kids and they don't tell their kids offry Noot just everyone you've gone too many Well, you've gone one generation future. Dicks have Dicks have kids. Yeah. Dicks have kids and then You know biology with Rosie I'll just do it correctly It's a dick and of vagina.. And again, our kids then watch kids be dick and then look at us and go, How come I'm notow to do that? I'm like, I' the strick mom. There it is There it is Baboo baboo baboo. abab Speaking of our kid, Robin said something the other day which irritated me, but I think it's going I think it's going to wind you up quite a lot. So was I not there? No, you weren't there. So obviously He's a You know, he''s he watches things on tele and and he sort of plays on computer games, not loads to really sort of dialing back how much he goes on stuff But obviously you know, he inhabits his own little world And he just said something that day where I thought, you haven't even learned the wh you're not right basically We're talking about he likes a bit of hip hop now and then and I I put Kanye West on. He knows all the words to all the M andem songs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. versions. No, and also there was another song that he knew all the words too. And I actually had his friend in the back of the car and I had to get him to turn it off because I was like You probably shouldn't know the word of these but I don't want strronger by Kanya West. Yeah N don't kill me. He knows all the words. so ye it's not that appropriate for. So the first verse has an F and two S's in and then there's no swearing for the rest of it Anyway so then I put I put through the wire on. which was obviously Kany U West' first breakout song which was when he had a car accident and he wrapped the whole thing because he's wired his jaw was wired up and does a whole thing through his jaw Paed I said listen to he's talking Robin like, He did this he got his jaob book and he did this whole thing Anw Yeah He went so he was robbing While he had a broken jaw Yeah, you went right. When was this? I went, Well, this came out when I was in college. you went, right, you went So has it regenerated now see what he mean What? You want as H his jaw regenerated? I went You mean healed? May. You said, Yeah. I it's here. It doesn't regenerate it heals. He's living in a computer game.? Fucking ready player one. Yeah Fuck me. Has it regenerated? He stood under Doctor, doctor. Will it regenerate? It standandard for that beam of light. If you get enough points, it will Oh that's grooming it. I was l. oo bab,oo, bab,oo So I haven't told you this. I very rarely get triggered by things or get really upset by things. Something happened. There's two things recently that. you know, when something goes through, you like kneels on a chalkboard. Two things recently went I got even thin about, I'm messing on my hands. So I was when I was com back from the golf trip, I must have been a bit tired, a little bit like, you know, had a couple of days of drinking andve been playinglf and been traveveling And something came up on me Instagram and I don't know what it was and I never want to search for it again. I never want to see it again But it was like it must have been AI So you know like If you look over behind you there, anyone in the room, I'm pointing at anyone on YouTube you can't see it either. Basically I'm pointing at the radiator valve. C you see the radiator valve? So like a pipe that's like a right angled pipe valve right with a screw either side, right? So just imagine pipe rightight angle L shaped bit of pipe Right There was a video of someone and that had the hands out in It was just the hands in front of them and the hard somehow whether there were trick ones and that opened up like kinder eggs But they had right angled pipes on each knuckle So All of the knuckles were at like a ninety degree angle and they were moving them in front of the camera. And I'm not kidding. I felt physically sick. I don't think that's a real. A C couple of days, it had us for a couple of days and I was like, I kept holding me hands. I kept I was trying to go to bed at night and I was thinking about it. and it was it properly affected us, right And there's one thing that went through was more than this and I don't know if you're aware that our son did this the other day. You're aware you lost his tooth Yeah. came out of school and he went d, he had aby tooth He came out school. He went, dad me tooth. and I told it come out and I went, Yeahah I told it come out today In front of us in the yard, you know how they're really sharp on the bottom. He fucking put it back In his mouth. He did that to me asra well Oh my God I literally was like, Oh Robberin I was like, get out I was like like in his mate it was going Wamana and the mate St stand was going Wanattera I was going so f. Just 'cause they're so sharp that like like's like I wouldn't bother that me. I nearly left him there and drove home without him It was horrendous. And I was just like two things that just He's got getting little teeth that he's coming back. You know what you would have hated? There was a girl I went to school with a compp. She did something I don't know, what the fuck she did to her hand U, but you had like a cast on But then our fingers it had like string It was a bit of string on this thing on like a machine, like a metal thing with loads of bit of string. My God so just t to the end of Yeah the hand reconstructed. so there'll be the pins and stuff in it and then stuff com Yeah I think so. It was so Myome Mandolin It was It was insane. It was insane to look at. and I think she must have got sick with people because I I was like Bless that. So her hand must have been I crushed or. I don't know. I can't remember what happened I think my name was Gemma sh would never I would have asked that and I would nevergot never have forgotten what happened. No, I have no idea what happened to her, but I just remember When you were talking about the knuckle thing, I remember that a hand And all I can see is me looking at it in her face kind of like stop looking I knew just stayed.ew were the kid. Yeah But then we've talked about him years ago who ran in the Wybro bys arms I love him Rubyool love him Yeahn love him. So yeah, but yeah, bless you. Sorry. I genuinely I never do a trigger I want or whatever or an apology for stuff like that. but if that goes right through you as well and me talking about his room today, I apologize because I've roomed my own day and I'm dead tired. I could pass out. Oh Darl it. I could pass out Stay tuned. I out passast that. look at the fucking state of us on that YouTube on that camera. I could have put some You should have put some How dare you let me come in p on a public you look lonely to me. got you back man. T me. And you, whoever you were keeping my lad up last night, I'm absolutely fuming I'm fuming with you Bet not cross my door, suunshine and not y. Bab dooo baboo, baboo It's time for what's you be. What'sa be? What's you be? I'm gonna go Canny because you're tired. Oh, come on that's fine. It's fine. My joe is Canny one It's a nice one. It's Cny. Okay. Okay, so my beef with you is It's too good looking, too understanding, too much of a good listener too funny. None of them. T in too much good shape. too athletic Stop it, darling because it's just awful You are just like I don't even know how to describe it. You just can't get out your own way And you're irritating for being kind. anyway, listen I ground a coffee. So this is a big thing. I like a different coffee cup, right From me morning coffee cp to me second morning and cooffee cup been the same For a long, long time. The green one is circulation for a while. Yeah but then it changed the white one So once it changes I don't go back Change. All right, to get with the program. Do you know what o, so this is the bigger picture. You get so irritated, right that I have different cups and you wind yourself up and you're literally like, o I don't ask you to make that tech and coffee. R So you get annoyed at me about changing my cup about a cup of coffee that I haven't asked you to make. So I ground coffee I grounded coffee today because I was going to make myself a coffee And then Chris was at the machine. And he went, I'll do. And I went, oh, thank you so much. I's really kind. And then he picked out my morning coffee cup and I went, It's not a cffee and went, Oh It's really sad getting told off of something that you didn't actually ask for in the first place. I might not have done that was'tired No, you do it quite often. Every time you have to get a different coffee cup, you're literally like, Oh It' just the rule the weird rules. But I get it because I don't like a certain I had to buy some new coffee cups yday accept I hate them coffee cups. but like they're the ones I drink. I don know, but I just don't like the color of them And I thought we broke two of them so I was like these cup going There go and then you've restocked. Wow, so you've been breaking them on purpose Greay one two green ones say you go greay. , but I've bought new one y for the most disgusted colour in the land. bought your your new favourite colour, mustustard G must two must have ones. They're nice. get burgundy. I get your burgundy ones. How about that? You love burgundy. I just like pastel. Pastel. Listen, my beef with you is coffee related. Um on the l on the on the same lines as things that upset us and go right through us. You have your coffee in the morning in the speckled cup and all that one, Sckled cup and you sit with your little many little under eye patches on Y little gel under eye things. Aract self care. Yeah. And then I go to get your coffee cup to put it in the dishwasher So many times I don't realize you've took your monkey little eye things off and you've dropped them in the dregs of coffee that are left in the cup p put it into the dishwasher And that's upsetting. E at first I don't realize it's there, sometimes is what I'm saying. it's gonna be Oh, do. yeah. So then after open the dishwasher and fish it out, like it's fucking that the skin out? Well, it's awful. Just pour the actual gm though just its like it looks like you've gone and just done a big horrible grendma into the cup Ming and I can't put the remnants down the sink because there's coffee in it. I can't put sorry because the little squidgey pads in it.'t p it straight in the bin ' because there's coffee in it. So do you want to stop putting them in the cup? Yes. O if or can I keep putting them in the cup and just know that they'reint putting them straight in the bin That's you want to le out okay, okay Okay, Juice, he has me choices and this is why none of these choices are real The first one You'll say, shouldhould Iop put them in the cup? You'llop put them in the cup but you'll put them on the bench next to the cup and I still have to deal with them Nobody is asking you to deal with any of this. If Ibody deal with them could I okay, could we be pil? No the fucking wouldn't This is what I This is what I hate about being Stop putting time constraints on my life. like Like just let us do that and I will move that coffee cup. It's just not at the time that you want it moved. left today you've left a glass on my dressing room floor. But do you feel bad about it? A I does make you feel terrible about it? O will I just take that glass downstairs and never mention it again You mentioned it twice now and two, I haven't stoppedinking about it Nobody is asking you to do any of this. It's not like I'm literally like. Wash out that coffee cup and get rid of the eye patches. Like no Just let us live me life. It's like It is like living with your parents again. they go being married is like living with. I let you live your life and I didn't move them coffee cups. It would be like the end of signs where there's cups all over the place. And then I realize that the reason you've left them is because the aliens are allergic to coffee and eye patches and have to smash all the cups together. Absolute bullshit. It's absolute bullhit It's not true It's not true. No it's not true true Cake sty. Bllshit Bullshit hate it be made I don't know, I just hate parts of it. Let see twelve years next one twelve years of hate. It's coming. Aab baboo bab do. It's time for questions from the public Quion Why the gun effect? I don't know. I'm sorry. Are we allowed to do guns anymore? excited It was It was an nF gun There we go. Yeah, they go Sort. R right. Come on This first question No hold on. Well, public public announcement as always, if you want to get in touch, Chag Marin Audit at Gmail. com And if you want to send a voice note, it is zero seven eight seven four four zero six six five zero. All that information is on the Apple podcast apps, possibly the spotify one as well haven't checked it for a while. Lovely, thank you This question. I have got vot notes. I'm going to do them in a minute. Yeah. This question it's going to upset you question or a story a story, sorry. It's going to upset you. but that's fine. Great. I could weep. I'll Do you want us to weep? I'll I just will see. I' on the precipice of weeping and fain. Will I weep for faint? We fained. weep a f. Chris Ramsey D G Will he we p faint Dada. Well I do Always do the blind date? No, I miss blindit. Anyway Hi, Chris and Rosie The highlight of my week is your podcast. That's so lovely.. And all the disgusting stories that come with it us to Which in turn makes me feel a whole lot better and normal with this story. Can I just sayay there because this is not a normal story. Can I just say there as well? I shut my eyes and nodded there so much. It was how hard it was to open my eyes. It's okay, do. a mess. Oh m Right So they think this makes them feel normal, but it doesn't You be the judge of it, okay? I've already judged. I don't mind about being anonymous as this story is well shared. Just keep anonymous I've been with my partner for just under two years now He's forty five and I'm twenty seven We both enjoyed the pub on a Saturday and not shy in having won too many pints Over the last year, we have found two wet patches onn the bedroom floor after nights out. Both of us blaming each other. on who pissed on the floor. I'm the right person U I know Soul mate This debate made its way to family members. And is also a regular discussion around the pub table on the bi weeekly Saturday. Oh right okay., How was it? I was gonna piss the bed tonight. s the floor tonight atast' not in the bed. Oh Godd as if I'm giving that as a positive. My partner obviously blames me. Yeah. I blame him. Yeah. I'm a woman. Can women create such aperfect puddle of piss on the floor whileilst drunk? So each rightight. so they drunk. That one of them is getting up and pissing ono the floor and they can't work out which one it is because neither of them can remember. Yeah. Jeeesus Christ. Yeah They've got bigger problems, I'll be honest with you than a wet floor. now who is it? Is it carpeted? this is I don't think it U his defence was weak and mine was that I am simply too lazy as weak as he's bladder. am I right kids? Yeah, y'all. Her defence is that I'm too lazy and I would just piss in the bed instead. What an incredible defense. Oh there you go. An incredible defense One morning I woke up and had actually pissed the bed The T twwits disgusting these people. These are horrible people. And instead of feeling shameable gill, I woke with pride. Aha, I thought. Eidence proof Pof that I would just stay in the bed I carry all over myself. Wow. I turned to my partner and bsted that I had wet the bed and the patches of piss on the floor was definitely him. B He's been Hey everyone everyone lives a different life Weon chame Kink chame fun. This also made it to the pub table that Saturday. Decision made. it was definitely him who pissed on the floor Recently, we went out on the usual Saturday Pope quiz, etceter Are you woke in the morning to yet another ble? Pub whiz Pub whiz. Are you woke in the morning to another Puddle of piss on the floor By my side of the bed I rolled over and see my partner grinning year to ear, full of excitement and glee I think these two before they go to bed pissed are like, H another bottle of water. H Finish that glass of water him. Yeah betteret. If you got a water dispense at the bottom of your bed. It's insane. He explained that he was not as drunk as I was, and that I had woke in the night stood by the bed, bent with elbows resting on the mattress, having a way half stood When asking what I was doing, my response was, I am waiting Waiting for what? who knows? But the joy had brought him that I was in fact the one who had been pissing on the flor See See, that's the thing. I think her her her thing of weaning the bed I don't think that's evidence that she didn't do it I think there's evidence that she does. I think it's evidence that she has the problem Again, I've said this before. not I'm not being sexist to here A lady the position of a lady Wayan is the position of of a shit. You're already there. Yeah. You're overready at the station. It she's playing a fire here. She's gonna to shit on the floor. I'm telling you right now Take my advice. You needar You need to wear n before bed. Ill stop getting this pit. whyy are you getting so drunk blind drunk every Saturday? I mean, don't guys wrong. I like a drink as much as the next guy, but I'm not pissing on the floor. What you doing I don't think I've ever piss myself drunk personally. I have vomiting in my bed. Great. You had a little turn on the trampine the other day. How did that go Oh every time I piss myself the toilet, didn't you? I didn't know, do you know what? tell you what So I was only period and had period neckers on So I just had to walk to the toilet , but it caght it was caught in my period I guess so Well don't me Do you think they'd let me come run? You'd fit right in. sit the bottom of the bed like a dog Do I have toan this trampoline do give it a know it's called my period, I guess and people get really upset because you shouldn't glamorise like pelvic floor stuff. but U I do try to do me plv the floor exercises. I'm just not very good at it. Yeah. And I just had two massive kids and they just fuck me. . Listen Um Obviously, This made it to the lad's group chat immediately. Brilliant And he told the pope, including staff that the mystery pisser was me, including showing them the position I was in whilst doing so. Oh. A I thought we shared a lot of Christ, These are worse than us I must say I am less than embarrassed, probably more impressed that I managed to gaslight him and his friend two and his friend for nearly two years that it was him with the problem and not me I hope this makes and this is this is nice because this is for everyone. I hope this makes some bed weters and florpistas feel a bit better about themselves. Oh do you know what? Fair enoughair Everyone's got their thing, like, you know, it's fine. Yes, I hope that does make them feel better. Yeah. you're not alone. And you and I alone. Yeah. I you ever thought of puppy pads popppy part yeah or perwod pants ten hs, there's loads of stuff. just Don't get that pissed. I yeah have yeah Ah D't tell them how tove their lives who cares. At least they're not playering the music and staying up the Godardens when they're just go to sleep and we on the floor. And do you know what why?'t anyone? It's brought them closer T them We've got a funny story for the pub. Yeah. I mean, they probably walk out and everyone goes de to a f Lift clean the seats cle get the fabres in here the on the fabric bench this kind I stop inviting them because they just But yeah, but I guarantee guys, you two you've written listening and your partner, I guarantee in one of your friends's phone, you are saved as the piter. I guarantee it good for them Baboo babaooaboo Baboo, bab, dooo,aboo. Hi, Chris Ros. Listening to your talk on the podcast recently about how people these days are obsessed with drinking water and how with kids you don't remember drinking much at all, its sparked a memory in me I'm fifty, so my school days were in the eighties and I can still see and smell the square pink plastic lunch box I ate from Through all eight years of primary school. God God. Wow It think you money't take that long. Got your money's worth out with that My drink wasn't water. It was Robinson's Barley water, but my mom sent me to school with the drink in an HP brown sauce bottle The square glass one that That. Oh my go God. I know So she cleaned out and I'm sorry, right? The first Five times you still taste it. But to be fair, they're bloody good bottles I mean, yeah. I mean probably wouldn't saynd now I coulds just go with a glass bottl. No, not at all. but eight's one at a different times. Yeah likeike recycling. Yeah But yeah, that'll be a chunky glass feller as well that n. So funny. still at there. Just like the teachers have I looked up and thought the fuck is going on in that house Social services would be aroundound if you did that now If our kids went to school, if we sent one of our kids to school, a water bottle was a fucking Heinz Ketchuer botle and glass bottle it'd be like et the parents in now, something's happening in that house. You think Yeah puck thenough about aningisition Yeah Great, I would never guess that. Brilliant I remember This is so ridiculous, right? But it was just when you were young And in water bottles. I remember bottles of water weren't really a thing when we were kids. It was likeure if somebody had a bottle of water, it was like, ll like pos the way Where did you get that fromont type thing But I remember when people started using like old Robinson's fruit, like you know, like blackcrant Llads would come to football And they would fill it up with juice again or like water. And I remember saying it and being like It's genius. Yeah Lads would come to football and it would be a big like Robinson's juice bottle and that wait until there was just like half an inch at the bomt and filled it all the way up and yeah , I genuinely remember being blown away and I was like That is so clever. with all that juice. I remember thinking, Where's the rest of the cordial? I that's really strong, or whereere's the rest of the cordial?ust It similar time t it. It really was pathetic Another memory I had is of playing in the woods for hours and hours. We were gi famous we were giving famous five Go exploring vibes. Going home was too far away but there was a church near the woods so we would go in there and drink the water from the holy water Fund at the door.. E that is terrible. I should have now think what bacteria and Detreus Detritus. Detritus. We were consuming. So I was more I'm more concerned about the absolute Crimes against God? Well, no, God would have wanted you not to be thirsty Fair enough. Feeding of the five thousand, I don't think you'd mind if you have a bit of water or sh. and So it was stagnant water. I mean, it's monkey water. Yeah. It was stagnant water and everyone going to massk on Sunday would have dipped their fingers in it on the way out of church Mkey. Smelly out farmers sausage fingers. Do you know that the holy water from when the church that I used to go into? U it was just it was like this lush kind of like thing like, but it was just a ball of It was just like in a plastic Sorry, so there was a big massive metal orned ball withithin that there was a plastic dishwashing ball with water in. Pretty much Its like a little h So like A, just It cheapens the whole thing. So from a distance, you're telling me it's like a game ofight gol it.'s Beautiful Yeahah. So again, it's like having a lovely sink, but you've got that plastic thing in the inside Garden. Yeah Half holy water almost holy water Coool water Bab dooo babaoo, baboo. Q quick reverseic for you. Sorry if you can hear my dog crunching his food. bitit robed, don't know if everyone will get it, but I just love it. When they've got roof bars on the car Im ex you do what? That man has his shit together Where we go in? Grab the top box. Wow. you love it. Allright, okay. Yeah but you screams to me Family. Yeah Like if you're single and you're iring up a guy with roof bars, you're gonna break up a family. Right come on That man's married with kids. Right? okay. like that. I might be completely wrong, but it just screams it screams family the me. Yeah. Well yeah, maybe that's what she's after. I'm not sure. Who knows? But it's pretty cool 'cause you know straight away're like, o, they're active. He's got sh to get the rooot box where we're going Fantas Be still my beaten heart He's got to set the laddder on it off Aft K. Imagine a roof, the roof bars and a bike rack. Bike rack on the back, roof bars on the top Goodness, greatreat a trailer Have you thought any more about the caravan idea? Yeah, not ha' happen. Bab dooo, bab doo,ab. I have had to pull over. I'm driving home from work but I've had to pull over to send this voice note because I'm just catching up on the last couple of episodes of the podcast and I could not agree more about the weather apps. Yes. Honestly, I've got the best idea for this, right? What I don't understand is why they can't put a circle where the weather icon currently is and divide that circle into four And each quarter of the circle represents a different time of day. So obviously if it's got four sunshines on it, you know it's going to be sunny all day. But if it was like sun and then cloud and then rain, cloud and then sun, you would know that sort of like three quarters of the way through the day there might be a bit of rain. So at a glance, you're not going like cry if it's got a massive thundstomic I can't But the thunderstorm literally has nothing to do with anything you're doing in that location at that time. I don't know who we need to get this out to, but can we please get this to someone who is in charge of these things? Cn't agree more so that we can all just rest a bit easier when checking the weather. Are you with me? I am so with you. you. Now listen, because I'm so up on political affairs here Kia Stormmer is looking like he's on his way out. Andy Burnham is going to make an attempt be the leader of the Liber Py. Get this lady in in front of them two fellas because she is going places. Yeah That is the greatest thing I've ever heard. Sparate that one icon in a four. know you could get three icons sorry didn interu uppt there. Even two morning afternoon, just so you know. Why don't you make a new app A new weather app Get touch with her because you're going have to give her some money because it is her idea. And then I'm already Do you we She gave this idea on a public form. It's not her idea, it's in the Ethher now's everyone'. Someone do it. I can't be asked, someone do it. You cant be hed. You haven't got a business mind, have you C't be bother. Let's do this and I've had enough sleep I have a agreeent idea Like I say, even too. O even three morning afternoon, evening You know Fantastic. Oh Well done Round applause that de is co. July I think Julie Julie Baba dooo babaoo, baboo Hi Rosing Chris Longime list our first time emailer I found a new ach last night with my partner of thirteen years. Thirteen years. let the us, right? Come on then. He gets up at three AM for work and tries his best to be quiet and not wake me up. However, sometimes he fails Early hours of this morning, I woke up to him standing in front of his chestter drawers trying to work out which way round. his kegs go by the light of his phone told He took in my opinion, far too long to satisfy himself as to whether they were the right way and put the buggers on. Gave me the pro ae of three AM in the morning while he thought I was in fact still asleep. Fking brilliant A poor guy. No but no we've talked about this before. Put your clothes somewhere else. Yeah. Get up, get out. Yeah. If he knows he's doing it every day, stick them on a chair downstairs.ick them them up in the hallway. Yeah He'd be so upset if you were getting ready in the room. Yeah And I was still asleep. Yeah, I get it. I it. Yeah, no, it's not really like. I just imagine I imagine I just tossed and turning and it's looking over and And he's just trying to find the limb and he's got his phone. phone might in his mouth.'ugglings he's strugging get his kes on he's just gone Disgusting. I will never get sick of X. I I never ever get sick of them. They're just suchuch a window in a the sort of What's the word like the sort of fallibility and how Like delicate fancying someone is and how easily it can be fucking shattered. Oh, it's just I love it. I love them moving so happy that and I can see him, I can see him justli. I have to do it when I put my kegs on I've never done a by torch like but Awesome. Aome. P my buggy he's only trying to get out and go to work Baboo babaoo baboo D doo. As always, thank you so much for listening and watching this week' episode of Shag Mount andoy Bloody, love having you. And that's yes. How sincere?ook I always know you do a bit after. I was just gonna finish it all off myself. Look, I'll not even speak. Okay. comeome and catch us next week. Same time, same place. We'll see you then, thank you. Bye. You get yourself for a nap. Oh will B. All right, Bye Doo D Save more on what you need to get the job done right. Right now, add Lowe's. Get fifteen percent off, seelect custom entry and interior doors. Plus, save eighty dollars on the DW Wal twenty Volt Max two tool combo kit, now just one hundred sixty nine dollars. And at the Lowe's Pro desk, bring us your materials list and get a quote in minutes. Handwritten, a photo, or even a sticky note is all you need. Keep your jobs moving faster and on budget A lows. Valid through seven eight while supplies last. Selection ver is by location