Police Cell Stories and Keepsakes

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Tal about his new tour which he's got. Yes, he's got new tour Fresh Hell, which will see him perform more than sixty dates across the UK starting in Ipsswitich on the thirteth of january twenty seven. I'm sure he's going to add more over the place as well. He's also on Talk aboutout his new panel show on TLC starts july fifth at nine PM. It's called unacceptable. He explains what it's about. It sounds great. I was again, I was supposed to go on, but I couldn't fit into your schedule if the get a second series I'll be well over for it. I think you'd good at that. It looks fantastic. Yeah, it sounds great. So enjoying. if you're watching this on YouTube, please subscribe. would be very, very helpful indeed Enjoy guys Fine about the jingle jing So So this is the jingle jingle God H hope you like the joo jink g Baba doo, babadoo babaoo bab J. When did you turn forty? In March. So you were nineteen eighty six baby. nineteen eighty six all the way. As our always. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Good year to be born When are you guys August? J August. Both of you. Both of us 's' your twins, that'm Ag August third. twenty sevent. Yeah, yeah. August the third and august the thirtieth. so it's zero, three, three zero. But we're different store ss Really looking like that that means something. Oh yeah There is no there's a very there's a very sort of little thing in my head that often goes, o we like we could be related. We grew up really close to each other. Yeah. Imagine And that's how it works up there, isn't it? Yeah ye. fine. Keep it in your family. You just still put it in the booker and share it out And you do look a lot of people when we first met thought you were like looked a lot like my brother. Yeah Yeah, yeah. The plot thickens Exactly. That's it? Yeah. A What star sign are you Pisces? Nice. How you knew that should you strike me as a man. Wh doesn't Who doesn't know who last person Yeah? You strike me as a man who doesn't t believe in any of. No I don't believe in., but you didn't E know it So you know what it is. at what age do you know your star signing? That's interesting Like My my kids have never asked. I really. I think early doors, I think I had some sort of framed picture that someone bought me when I was Yeah it a thing at all Yeah. Yeah It's just something, you know, before Pads and thats system run them through. Do you know what I mean? Oh there's a thing about stars. have to look at your book again. Yeah. look at your star side book. I used to a stars book very. It was every day. What star signs are you? I'm a vg What does that mean I'm a bitch. Yeah, perfect. actually hold on the M this. No But I'm very loyal. Yesly loyal. It's Virgo's Virgo is Serial killers of the world are gos But also like we are that you're ahead with that. I know what it is we are that Iad with that. Just like not horrible people, but will G sh it done. So you're saying serial killers aren't horrible people. No, they are other horrible people. against the microphone. then all serial killers, horrible people? yes or no I think they misunderstood. D pretends you were killing if you think about Dexter. Yeah, Dexter's a good one. He's killing down the serial killers. Yeah, he's doing the good ones. Do I have never seen Dexter? it's good. Series four is very good. It goes downhill after that. Yeah. I just remember thinking I am on series two here and I know it still goes to nine series so I know that they don't catch him so I don't care. I think he gets off with his sister towards the end as well. So would be perfect for you too Happy days. Happy days. Weren't they married? I think they might have been. They got together, got married and got divorced in the full stretch of that sh happen if I remember right. sister The nice sestter in real life is A and sister.'s on screen sister. He's on screen sister. sister. Fock me. In real life real on the show. In real life they got married in the show they were brother and a sister. Oh God. But alsoso in the show, I think they end up getting end up getting together as well. I like the idea that was his nordght to the director. You know, I'm married now. Why don't the Crenters just can I just fuck each other as well. But that's disgusting. Yeah, but come on it easier Have you got brothers and sisters? I've got half brother, half sister. Nice. Yes. So I've got one complete sibling if you put them together. Oh Yes. But I normally just say brother and sister because it's like half br sounds harsh, doesn't it? It's yeah. I've got two my cousins children. They're like half sisters, but I would never ever call them half sisters because they're just Sisters. cousins Your cousins children are your half siblings No, half cousins. They're a half cins half cousins, o. But I just call them my cousins. Yeah,' But they're younger than But also their cousins don't mean anything anyway, do they? Oh W. Well, they talk with cousins. It's like, you know I got cousins. L got loads of cousins. I've these I'm not like, Ohh, I better phone my cousins. I see him and like, all right. Yeah yeahah. Fine, you know I got got los ofs cousins? No, I don't have a cousins group chat now. Okay I'll see him at family events and I get home with them very well but I'm not like, oh, I've got cousins that might as well be strangers. Yeah. Yeah ye. I've got like ye I'm pretty close my cousins. Yeah, I would walk past some of my cousins in the street and I wouldn' have a fucking clue. Yeah. Yeahah yeah, yeah I don't know who you are though. Yeah that right the wor. Yeah 'cause they're all bragging up' there? Do you think that's my cousin, they're saying? That's really sad that you're not close to cousins. Oh' who cares, man. God. I've got like twenty five cousins and No ma'. Do you want me to? Yeah Jeeesus. Okay I want to hit all twenty five. It it'll be more than that now. Yeah. So I'll go from the top. Yeah. All right.re you going oldest? I'm going oldest. Yeah. Jimmyilip Dean K it Nina. This me Sophie You're counting yourself as one of your twenty four. She's got twenty four? And then then there was then there was Sopfie and No not my brother then there was We're on we're on seven for anyone. Keep calm Millie And then then people started having children. so then there was u Lacy Lila kids. Kate Pobby Pobby Ruby. Ana. Anna What many now we didn' the group yet Then there's Tommy there's Sony And there what am I up to? fifteen Did I exaggerate at the twenty five? You exaggerated by nine, which is really, reallyact and I'm not done yet This is a great podcast by the way How often is this happening on podcasts that you're on? I think Guess the Cousins is a whole new format. Well We'll exaggerate the number of cousins. Well, we willll do it' will exaggerate. R I see twenty five cousins is also including me and my brother and sister. So there's three that I've had to miss off. But they're definitely not your cousins. They definitely are not. But' in the cousin family.ousin. They're in the cousin family. Yeah. And I've missed them out that I can't think of've. I've got a new form. Welcome to the dream restaur. Yeah. C cousins or siblings Josh You've missed Josh. Yeah. ye. That's nice that Chris knew the name of some of your cousins in the correct order. are the rolls hunging a bld. Charlie can't remember the name of anyone in my family. Excellent. When we go to family occasions, I have to like basically do flashcards before we get them or follow around and whisper in her ear like I'm a royal aide. Like. And then we came away from a family occasion once and I said, can you remember anyone's nes? She's lovely. She gets on with all of them. But names. names just don't stay in her head. Right. And I was like, tellell me some of the names. And the only one she could remember was Wilfitch, is my uncle Someone was called Wil. Yeah was a fucking dog. All right, okay. M made an impression. You made an impression I struggle with names. That's something I do. I'm really seeing. Not just then. No, the p plays a long time. Bart remember names. You're good, the way, you play the game. You rememberames of people you've work with and you're Yeah, big time. You're the man. You know what we're doing. Chris, Rosie. Yeah. Well done. Daisy you're here to talk about stuff N' going. Yeah, thank you. You're so good at this. And what a lot of interviewers don't do is they don't have that smooth transition from general chat into the plugin section And a lot of people a lot of people w won't sound really annoyed when talking about it and look at their cards at the same time. I' be honest with you becausecause let's all the hdesty, should just wantce see it an neem your cousins? Yeah, ye yeah You've onlyready upset as the fact that you don't speak the idea though? Yeah. I did a, you now and again, We all live differently Yeah And that's fine something I' come toerm with.'s sad, doesn't it? It makes you really sad. You hereo when people in each other's pockets. But I often wonder if that's an unhealthy way to live because do we still we always say we live in our hometown because it is beautiful. we love living there, but do I live in my hometown? because I'm addicted to my family Iicted to my family. It toosk a Jeremy Kyle episode titlemict I just addicted to say in mean manner. L just I can't move away because I would like miss everybody so much. But is it holding us back? I wouldn't be going to rehab for it anyimeon because you're going to be very embarrassed when you have to stand up and say, my name's Rosie and I'm addict to see me Nana. I' mean a heroine addict life. the fuck Heran Alexand there who actually sold his nana. I I gonna tell you something really quickly. Yeah okay. E's here, but yeah okay you I can't wait to talk about my stuff th. you shut up about it. We're talking about her Ros' a dickly nana. How' fucking selfish. You caless? come here talk about yourself, Dustin. Do you think you'd go cold turkey with your nana or you? I's gonna come one day the problem start weaning yourself off now the problem is? The problem is we get people on sometimes who we know very well.. And we've all worked together, meaning you go back very long. And Rosie's worked with you multiple times. So the professionalism has just disappared the window and That'sine. And that's what people want to hear on right, you know It was literateally There was a very imply, you almost won ell, what what are you doing? No I need to tell you I haven't told you this. Okay. Oh it's sound really shit now. I wantm to tell these anyway. it might get cut. I' obsessed with watching realal Housewives. Yes, Which particular place? any of them? I up see it on all of them. There are women with f tits screaming, she's watching it You didn't come to my event. 'cause I'm a Beverly Hills head personally Yeah. ' that's the best I would disagree, but that's fine. Are Orange County No Still no.. Jersey? Rother. Potomac, Atlanta, yeah. And if there was real housewives of like, you know Lwal shitols should watch it No because you need the wealth in there. I'm not going to watchh it at alls. R look. I like to look at the houses. The UK ones I' not Okay Chastters not. No, not not totally no. I like the America just seems that little sort of bit What's the word Exotic It's foreign like It's just it's nots foreign it's foreign. No, it's removed. They talk fn, don't they They do talk funny.er wheels arear on the other side. No, what you mean is it's far enough removed where you don't get any kind of personal shame from watching it Yeah. But I understand the language. Yes. Yeah. This is mysterious shit, by the way. But on just talking about like cousins and traumans or that, on an episode recent didn't mention trauma acc of Real Housewives Rhole Island, which is really good. Yes, I've heard it's good. good. onene of the ladies U They were doing this thing about when they were talking about what would like upset them and one of them was like, I was homeless when I was younger blah, blah blah. One of the ladies got really, really upset because she hadn't had any sort of trauma in her life. but she knew that something was coming. she got got a crying and getting upset going, Nothing bad's ever happened to me, but I know that wanted O t it well. Wow. So let's talk about nond descript future trauma becausecauseuse that's scary if you don't know what it's going to be, right? You don't know what to watch out for. Could be much worse than being enormless. Yeah Well, the rest of the group did not enjoy it. It good. That's the kind of thing I would say. I really enjoy it. That. I just love it. I need to get B where it's fucking storyverill Well I start at Atlanta from the beginning. I need to go back to that because I was enjoying it and I like Ni leags Yeah, she's not in it anymore. She just recently su brava. No proble, whyy don't she get su and brava? Yeah, they all end up suing them at some point. Wow. But they don't want to say anymore. Was it Was it Denise Thingy who Richard when they were filming it didn't want to be in any the edits. so she just kept say bravo over andravorav. Because you say the name if you say the name of the network, then they won't put in the edit because it takes you out of it. But they did keep it in. They did keep it in thereough. This sort of bluff. They started over the last like five years to break the fourth wall They never used to, but now they break the fourth wall and they kind of like talk about it's just There's a similar hack if you' ever do live at the Apollo and you when you want them to use the ten minutes that you want them to use make the other ten minutes completely unbroadcastable. Yeah. So you go, here's me ten minutes about, you know, my dog and my car and here's the ten minutes about, you know, that time I got my fist caught up my own ars. And they're not gonna put that out I think we're going to just see Apoll of Apollo of Apollo. that They love that. They love it. They got it written in forty foot high letter us behind you, man. What I was tempted to do was, you know, when they used to celebs in the in the audience and you could be like, Oh chat about them was just to do that even when the celebs weren't there Exactly yeah. Linford Christie's tonight Let's see if they'll cut to an old old photage look of Chris after these pumaond. Speaking of the Apollo, Yes and performing live in public you' going do it. That It's all much better. That's how it's done. Yeah. Look at that cameras.. I am going on. Thankk you, Rosie. Yep. Conggrratulations. I'm doing a brand new show called Fresh Hell starting in late january twenty twenty seven It's a lovely title and I did enjoy the video you put out promoting it as well. With the how do you put it again? Yes. Thankk you very much. you' not seen it. We in a bar. You stand in a bar you? Yes. It was in a dive bar called Blond's, which is a really fun dive bar I'd only ever been there at like probably one AM forward from that what I went during the dayate of F I was It's miserable when you go to thoseac in the day, It's horrible. It really gross. You're like, this is where I hang out, you cl me She took out at one o'clock in the morning? No, It's on the rare occasion that my wife's lik hyped up after a night out. She's like,h, let's go for another drink. Nice. I'll come and have a white claw at blonde. I can't have a full beer, it's gonna unsettle my stomach before Betty buys Yeah, forty this year. What what's it about We're not doing what's it about. We can't be doing what's it about? What's it about? What We can't do what's it about? I w want to knowage of life that you're are. You both know that if the show starts in late January it's currently June, I don't have a fucking? All right, o. Well, I don't know that I've At the moment, it's about turning forty in toilet brushes But that's surely, you know, you start writing your show and you're like If that's what it's about, by the time I go on tour, I'm in serious trouble. Ed, have you learnted nothing from our early years together? Invent a word Remember My first two Ed got so much enjoyment out of the fact that we first one was called agrophob agrophob invented word. Second was Whual was it Affirmation. affirmation of course. Can you remember what you told me I had to call me Th third one? Brolly pop. Brolly pop So that was in my head as a genuine show that you did second the thir show that you did Brolly Pop? You g Brolly pop. What's it the Mandela effect? In Mandela Mandela effect to myself intoince you think he did a show called Brolly Pop. What was the first or of it I never saw it. I grew phobbic. What was it I didn't like avoid confrontation Thanks every. It's actually very clear from the title that Yeah such agra good How dar and why pump faces? That's a really good title. No when you explain it, but I wouldn't just think Yeah. Agl, you are scared of Are you scared of confronties? Us to be hardest fuck, now, man. presumes you' to blue batt to fight anyone could of fuck Yeah we had a chat about that. That's so much to prove. He used to be quite sort of fay and weak. that name? Yeah. That's it, that's what did it. You know what it was? It was the self confidence that you get from having so many cousins in your corner. I'd be like t of the career. Yeah. He's got like sixty od.'s got sixty od people in Wolfgang. Yeah they're your D twelve. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they are my D twenty five. Yeah. Yeah. What was it we were talking about recently I'm going Sometimes I go a bit dark M she tries to kill comedy. sometometimes she tries to kill comedy No, I just sometimes talk about life gamble d. ce UK for tickets, by the way I know what it. They know who you You don't want to tell them what it tos aboutote. You't want to tell them what it tosot.. You're right. Look, if people are watching this, they know I exist. Yeah and they've probably seen that I'm going on tour. So just them nudge if they want. It isn't going to get clipped up. We're giv them a nudge. they'll be the funny bit And then we're right underneath. All right. comeome. So it be the cousins it'd be cousinsuff wouldn't It might be the cousins of other real housewiv. I think he's trying to get in before you get dark. I think that Yeah that was. I just wanted Be before you bring the mood down, I just wanted to get the plug. I don't have to bring the mood down. Come on, I might as well alady I want to hear. No I just talking about recently Was it I now sometimes can't remember if it's been a conversation in our house or in the podcast studio. Okay And And that's where we're at.'s not on back. That's one of the saddest things I've ever heard in my life W was a monetized conversation? wasversation. Was this a wasted conversation or was this? It was this one that went towards the bills Yeah get. Do you ever say to each other in your own house as a married couple? Do you ever use the phrase sa it for the pod? Yes. so all the time. so bleak all the time. It's good. It's not that bleak because where you live. We've got a really nice house In if I just a little bit of content to share with people I You you never have to talk to each other anyway because you're in separate wings Do you know what it is Yeah exactly. it's the it's the we'll be seeing something or someone will do something and the other one just goes Witing it that and you go, all right, you'rere weaponising that one I don't know marriage anyith otherer way. Yeah, we don't actually to be fair.' it's been nearly the entire time now We've been married as a podcasting couple longer than we' been married a non podcasting couple, do you know that Yeah We've been doing this seven years and we'll be married eleven or something? So ye. M than half hals Come on then, what's it what you I think we've been married I think we've been together and married like thirteen years Okay Well it's even then we've been podcasting togethergain, we'll talk about this afterwards. Other guests must have said this feels like I'm the councllor in the. Other people must have said this. Maybe? Yeah No or the door conversation. Come on then. you said that you now Just becausecause you do Brazilian Juitu and because you're like a man or whatever. you wish that somebody would start on you Yeah sometimes I invite it So that'sing a bad day. toxic, Chris. Really toxic Really toxic said you're a woman, that's absolutely the complete opposite of what we think. Yeah yeah. Yeah. But I mean this is like he's watched the Louis ThI documentary and Gone that's good idea Yeah, maybe. Yeah, but I've never I've never look for it Ed And I need them to come, I need them to start than they need to be possibly infirm Definitely at least double me age or a child. Yeah, yeah. completely untrained. My weight or lighter I' And yeah, maybe physically impaired in some other way. Yeah, but they have to initiate. They have to initiate. Yeah, yeah. Maybe you should start streaming on kick. Just walk around the streets. again L looking to get startedcause I get chin by a penschion on. it will go viral and it'll be that. have a conversation No we're set on here. Yeah, we' set on here but that's absolutely You are the busiestman of comomedy the Wed? No, I don't think so. Yeah You must be one of. It's insane. I might be I might be up there in the top fifty You you'd never know. You've been very I'm no romist. eh? I'm no Romist. You're not far behind. I' not ye, I'm not going to be like, I'm doing a play on top of everything else.ated. You're like, how and when Be you got unceptable on TLC as well. Unacceptable. brand new panish starting on TLC in July on july fifth nine PM. Brilliant to could go and in that the week slot. Are you allowed to tell anything about that? I can tell you about that because that's filmed and that's done, rightight. Other people got to come up with whatever it was about. I got offered and I couldn't do itselfves onto her but if you' got a second series, I'll very much be upper it looks fantastic. we get a second series You hope you do both welcome. Fhant. I're not interested. Don't m, I'm not a comedian So those sort of things funnier than most comedians are I don't know, but they make me wantan to die. Fair enough, ye I had a lovely time on the show. feele like you wantan to die, Jall I in the edit, obviously there's clever people who put all these shows together make it look good. actually being there in person horrible I don't know how' do it. I don't how he's doing it. It's a com long Yeah. haaven't to think and haven't like it I got it. No, no, not my cup of t. It was actually quite laid back panel show recorders these things go because the main bit of each episode is a comedian will bring on their unacceptable opinion. Yeah say what it is. So Rommish would be Rommish said, I think you should pay the Royals more I Catherine Ryan had all men should be have a vasectomy at birth And then the audience vote on that top line and say like ninety five percent of the audience find it unacceptable, then the comedian gets a chance to explain their opinion, do a whole bit about it while other people chip in. and then we test the opinion in studio and then the audience vote again on whether they still think it's unacceptable. and the swing of the votes is the points that they get A Re I'm really opinioned. Yeah. We've also got this round called the Stitchup, which is Like we've worked very hard to make absolutely genuine because you both know there's like sometimes Stevia can be a total lie. Yeah, very disingenuous. Yeah. We give a comedian an opinion that they've not seen, like genuinely haven't seen up until that moment. They read it out as if it's their own opinion and then they have to defend it. So we had to let Harriet Kemsley open up an envelope and have to read out. All single mothers are lazy And then absolutely spiral as you tried to defend it. It's a really fun show. Good Okay. All right Really good, Re really funs on TLC. That's on TLC. Yeah, yeah. Brilliant July fifth. July fifth nine PM. look my card.isodesook at my card. six episodes. F fantastic. And you hadich Rich Ii. Richard Iwadi is a team captain. Joann McNally is a team two more different people you could not hope to meet When would those two ever be in the same room T together? Yeah, they do. actually. they really do. I we all get on I'd say Joan Joanne sone who'say for a drink after in the green room G Richard's got his bike helmet in before I've taken my makeup off So vis Yeah, yeah,'s got it on. I'll be like walking back down to my dressing room and he's like walks part l Well D done good bye he's got his bike helmet on and his little fold up bike. He's such a great man.'s incredible so funny. I saw a video, I don't know if you've seen it. I saw online when you were on the Virgin onn the Chris Evans part. Yeah, ye yeah. where Joanne was saying that she'd try to hug Richard. It was just not well reed. Imagine this Yeah. I imagine trying to hug him when he doesn't know you're going to hug him is like gathering a handful of bamboo just like wading through it and just squeezing it together and just giving you nothing back. It's actually a wonderful lesson in asking people if they're hggers or. Are you a hoggger? Yeah, I am abolutely. ye, yeah. yeah. But I still appreciate the question, you know All. Do we hug? Can we hug? Can we hug? Yeah and if I know, yeah yeah, we' hugging all day. Yeah. Yeah, you're right actually. I don't like hugs from people I don't really know. Yeah, without them checking first Yeah So you don't know this, Rosie, and I don't know There's not I don't know about you I know know about Edward aboutdward. So me Ed go back. So what's really nice is we get people on the podcast and people obviously listeners who know what we do and know me from now Yeah don't know everything I've done back that day. And when we were we lived in Edinburgh together, we did we did one year when we did the comomy Zone we lived together. in two thousand nine Did we live together the year after as well. We might have thousand Sadly. Yeah I think we might have D deffinitely one year, maybe too ye. Do you know Ed talkks to probably my first sushi restaurant? I talk Chris about's. I talked Chris about different foods. He told me about new foods. Thank you. He did. Can you remember what I said when you made some pasta in the house and I I think it was a stir fry from memory. belong which belong it There was a long thing in this placeace Nood. Can you remember? I got some I got some bread. What was it he said? And I got some butter You've got bread and butter with the stir, are you? Yeah. What did you say? There's no better than putting a bit of butter on some bread. Yeah That Yeah Iorted it for the entire month of Edinburgh.'s what an astonishing thing to say. If someone wrote that in a script about someone from the Northeast, you go That's a bit on the nose I It's I have personally, I think I'n up but lot, but there's still not better than putting a bit butter on. but I mean I do I do agree as well.usty crusty bread. Yeah. I don't think it was crusty. I think it was s slice white and you were dipping it in the The Asian stir fry I just made That was also I'm sure you've heard this story before that every time Chris used to brush his teeth, I'd run in to brush my teeth at the same time and then try and spit on his hand. I didn't no, I've never told her that. I fuck I fucking hated that. I hated it so much highlight of my night. I hated. You've never do Be I hated it. I don'y I't find it funny I found it irritating. Yeah. It was the work Godplain explain it. Yeah, so every type basically I would G phic then as well. I mean, it was an awful thing for me to do reallyally because it was genuinely gamphobic. And I'd wait in my bedroom, even if I was like, I want to go to sleep for I've got to brush my teh but I've got to wait Christrush his te And then I'd hear him going to the bathroom and it was like, you'd probably hear me just thundering down the coror like, arere you speaking? he wass a big la? Yeah Bushing. We're brushing our toothes L a fucking hipppo runner tos' holding a tuba coal gate rush my teeth. How am man man? And then just wait for him to lean over to spit and I'd spit and I got it on his hand. Oh, it's so close to us like youd just wait. becauseit sometimes I would brush for ages would like but it was worse because then when he' was just building it more and he had a bigger mouth than me. just build it more. And he had lean out, touch the tap Sit. Oh Oh, brilliant It was very good. And I was trying to get anything in your hair like any liquid in your big boufffon. Yeah ye. A you knew your big Boufon, Chris? Yeah Oh yeah. I met that's when we met, which is Yeah, It easy to think about. I did not like Three years after that, yeah. I I know I liked that hair. I loved that hair. looked like one of the soldiers outside Buckingham Palace Yeah We actually did. We had a laugh though, didn't we? different as well though that's the m thing about comedy. It was almost like ' I never went to uni. So for me that was like my uni Yeah. That was like just go to a uni? Yeah, I stayed at home. I went to Sland uni. I stayed at home. I didn't do hollles or anything. No, I didn't do any that. So getting a living my sibland. Yeah it was me Yeah inherited loads of cousins. It me, you, Tom Deon and Jimmy McGee, and we all live together in this house. played Xbox together and it was literally being it was like being a student. It was really fun. It was so good. It was before hs. Yeah, not well, no some of them didn't take them un bolted. we couldn't play get in the living room one night were People were doing sex We couldn't I couldn't play on Halo. Me and Chris were bred beforehouse. We were brs beforehouse. No, I had chit hand and Yeah looked a lot different. It was like tad heavier. yours are toothpined on his chin. Chin did a n How are were we not a tempting prospect? Un unbelievable. Exactly who it would have been. Yeah. ye Jimmy McGan. Yeah. A Tom take interview. A T hear them.re doing bloody in the living room. We going to play little afterwards Never understood that You have had done that What same in the same room as your friend. I've been the friend before though Awful. Let's try to sleep. put Matt. Looks like it's headphones asleep m time Yeah Oh that's so upsetting. I wouldnt you know me. I would get out. Both of you get out now. Yeah. I would ruin the moment I don't think happens now. apparently you know, the younger generation just aren't doing anything like that now. Times have changed No theres I think it's just s of on their phones now, and nothing like thats happening anymore. They're not getting pissed at parties, not getting fingered in the beds opposite their friends. Althice Brog and bloody Britain Brog and bloody Britain. I blame woke. Yeah, it looks work it's genuinely true, right? It's genuinely true. Apparently the other week, there was something on down at the beach some event and some fourteen year olds got arrested for being drunk in our hometown and I remember thinking Nature's healing. I I thinkinking nature's healing Fing rules are Bitt on the police again, fighting, getting arrested We're back. We are so back now. Christmas is awkward because my nephew' eighteen and how many nephews you got? Listen Daniel Al veryable. He' turned eighteen in December and that kid will not have an alcoholic drink. Really? And the amount that we tried I just want just half a side. Well I think that's great. I know know your own mind, haven't it? Good is. But obviously' crack in shape. Yeah Well theyre just go gym now And they re the themselves taking all the vitamins and all that shit. likeike we just didn't do that. No, We didn't do that at all. No No So there we go. Edie, you've got a story for her? Oh yeah I've got a story for you guys. Yeah. this happened to you yet? got two? Yes. Yeah, it's always called fresh Hell. It's really easy. Where are you going? You gone all over the world again? the rest of the world isn't booked in yet, but I'll probably go and do some Probably Austalia, New Zealand America. Maybe some Europe dates. I did some Europe dates on the last tour whichich was fun, but it was mainly holiday with our dear friend Paul Brown. Yes. Oh Can we talk about Paul's for just two? Yeah, sure, actually. Oh yeah. I love Paul's. I've got stuff about Paul in my new show as well actually. yeah I not to give I'm not going to give away anything. Do you know he was once, you know, Gre len. Yes. he' our he was our tour manager for he was my tour manager for one of a couple of metour us and then he did sh myign And then he's now such a fantastic tour manager. only now does you, does Greg Davis does every, you know, he's no longer my auxiliary as well. Yeah off He's no longer my auxiliary tour manager. He's moved on You know Greg Daviess call him Bobby two butts? Yeah because he had two bottles of water in his pants once, so we just constant calluse him Bobby Bobby two, Bobby two butts. But we going snail? Snail And I don't even know where snail came from. The amount of times I typed Paul and my phone changed it to pale paled for a while and he got a snail now and then he gets whale Well we call him spooky Richard Wh is that again? Well, his real name's Richard, of coursees, whichich blows your mind when you check into a hotel and he hands the credit card over his name is Richard Brown. Yes And then every sort of season, every big seasonal event, we would give them a new seasonal nickname and Halloween, it was S spooky Richard and then When it got to Christmas I think it became Christmas shit. Okay deist now. These are all done with Jest. We do love we love Pul. Oh he's the best He's honestly the best man in the world. He's so lovely He's so brilliant. G genuinely lovely guy.o Paul. So there we go. loveoly Paul. You ready for this story? Yes. Dear Chris and Rosie, please keep me anonymous I work for the police and my favourite colleague used to work in the cells and he has countless stories from being in there Oh, this is good One day, a man was brought into the cells and of course, you have to be fully searched when you come in. Yeah. He was being very cagey and refusing to show his Willy understandable. Sometilly? I will just quickly say I find adults using the word Willy Solutely repulsed Yes. it's unacceptable.. What do you call it I mean, anything but Willy, are anything but Willie P I call M's booky Richard. Richard. No where did did L? My favorite cousin I'll call it me fav of a cousin and his two nephews. What' Bul Matews. Right we want to all them is Chucky. Oh. I think anything that feels slightly infantile is ye yeah Also, Here's what I was thinking Willie, if you use Willie, it's always about soft, it's always about the soft one, right? Yes. You can't use Willie for hard. A git hard Willie. Yeah, has never been said. But you put your Willie in is, I'm desperate for it.. Give me that, Willie. Have you been thin about Willie So I mean, I feel physically sick now. Can you snore down on your Willy's hurting?. It w to get you Willie in hand. Terrible. Yeah. I do you agree? No Refusing to show his Willie, understandable, this person says Asking him to please not look at it. Obviously, this made him think he was trying to sneak something into the cells and they eventually were able to have a look Guess what this man had wrapped extremely tightly around the end of his car hf. Oh Bwire No, that prohus you. we've been doing this for seven years. What's wraped around it?ot the plot from Sar eleven I don't know why I'm seeing this and I don't know why it's the first thing I pop in my head and strike this down if I'm wrong. and if I'm right, it's just a guess Gental floss. Oh God. Interesting. What would the purpose of that be, you know? pasure I don't know. Why does anyone do these things? I think I'm gonna it's a yo Thats what I thinking of itring string of yoyo, in theoy time He can't go to prison without his favorite yoyo Good trick if you can do it, though. Imagine. Yeah Yeah. Walk the willie down, yeah. Wh' he got tied around his way wide people times? Do you got any moreore before I carry on? I don't think I've got any moreore no He had what around the world Last one, yeah. He had what looked like a red nose around the end. And when they took it off, they found out it was a swimming cap wound extremely tightly around his knob end There was nothing inside, no drugs, no smuggling or anything. When asked why he did this, he said I just a pervert mate. I enjoy it Wh which you've got to say fair enough. Fair play. Yeah, fair play. F. The swimming cat. Whmingiming I don't know Why have we never heard of sw swimming c being used in lieu of contraception? You always hear something. Swimming cs seems like a no brainer. Noot bad idea. Probably the best one Pack of crisps that you used to use back in the day, do you remember I grew up in London Yeah Could this be no It's been awful. It's been been a lovely old time. I seeing you guys. I know people used to use perets, Chris. Snickers and air. Snickers and E elastic band When we were kids. Never heard about Snickers and E ellastic band. No, I've neverard of Snickers and E elastic band in lieu of contontraceception Swimming cubs would have muchuch better. I don't like this. I used to swim forselfouth toside as well when I was you that's why had a load of swim cps What this Imagine this making you think of that. It's added to the anecdote. That' part of this. Yeah, there's some honorable mentions. Oh wow. There' also some other honorrable mentions. This one is disgusting. Like the time when an officer pulled out what looked like to be an old piece of chewing gum from someone's wallet When asked what it was, the man replied that it was his son's foreskin Wow Yeah. In his wallet, in his wallet, Obviously keeping it Most people go for a picture, yeah A littlefle, a little keepsake. Wow. That's awful. Yeah. That's really awesome. I'm a bit annoyed. actually I had mine loopped off and they didn't let me keep it. Yeah, I yeah, mine is yeah. Yeah. How old were you? twentywenty three. Oh Godh. Yeah yeah. Wh. So when we first too tight tight Too tight When we first met you had a foreskin Yeah H Yeah, u yeah That's what's different about it. Yeah. I've lost way. It's. No, It's not that. It's the first It's not the we. Well, that's something of it Be I snowd an ar It's like's like a ring from a water pot. That's where it isn't it? It go to to twenty three though Yeah I old to get rid of it. Yeah like two much. What was the What was the recovery likeg of that? U mainly sort of just winnie ping around the house Just literally about my.ust. I was like, he doesn't crawl. What? you eat a lot of honey, and that' br it out. from Bmith or the rabbit. This has been really been wonderful. It's so nice to see you. It lovely having you here on fun ue. Yes, Tor and unacceptable, etcetera. Yes. Thank you very much. I tell everyone on the website Egambble. co d. Uk unacceptables on TLC. I thought he just come's com to promote us. I thought just I happy to just have a chat but I'll get in trouble if I don't promot the things Yeah. Thank you. minutes