Google Maps and holiday geography

Coming up on this week's episode of Shagmarinoid. We talk airports and Rosie's holiday tales. Robbers in the night. Speaking of crimes, you try to kill comedy again. I can't help but I'm a sensitive soul. Awful. Getting old. Getting old and robots. Be efs. Well, a beef from you. Yes, I get off Scot Free actually. Questions from the public? And we clear up a lifel ong geographical mystery. No cap. Keep listening. That's what the kids see. No cap. No cap. Yeah. Alright. This episode is sponsored by Lidl. Right, Chris. Our listeners don't actually know this, but I set you a little challenge this week, didn't I? Uh you did, and I'll see it now. Smashed it. Bold claim, Christopher. Very, very bold. I will be the judge of that. Well basically we've had loads on this week, so as it do, we've been divvying up the jobs, and your task for me was to sort out all of the shopping. I know it sounds silly, but I was a bit hesitant at first because I know all of the things I like I know the kids' favourite snacks, I know what they want for tea, and I just thought I'd still end up having to go myself anyway. Well you didn't 'cause I smashed it. Right, go on then. Where did you go? Little because I thought there's no need to be traipsing around all the different shops when they've got everything I need in that one place. Okay then, uh little test. Did you get the baby bells for the kids' snacks? Uh yes, and I might have eaten one myself, protein. Right. Stuff for breakfast, the cereal that the kids like? Yes. Fruit, veg, snaggy bits? Yes, yes, yes. What about the bacon ingredients for school this week? All sorted. Did you remember that we've got friends coming around at the weekend? Yes, let's stop you there. Those fancy deluxe pizzas, the McCain Crinkle chips, Magnum ice creams already in the freezer. And I even got us a couple of them grass fed sirloin steaks that you like for Friday night. Oh, look at you making an effort. And before you ask, coffee beans for you, pods for me. And I even got some glass cleaner because I know you always whiz around the house cleaning everything before people come round, doesn't mean Eddie. Well, uh honestly, I don't know what to say. And you got all of this in one shop? Yes, one shop, everything we needed at a really good price. Fair enough. Chris, I'm impressed. Little more value. Close your eyes. Focus. Listen to work getting done with Monday dot com . Relax as AI does the manual work while your teams are aligned on a single source of truth. Feel the sensation of an AI work platform. So flexible and intuitive, it feels like it was built just for you. Notice you're limitless. Limitless limitless. Now open your eyes, go to Monday.com, start for free, and finally breathe. Hello, you are listening and watching Shagged Married and Oid with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband Christopher Ramsay. Rosie Ramsay it is. Yes. Hi. Hi. Oh, do you know what it is? I've been away for three nights. Hasn't been here. Literally no idea who this stranger is. This is ridiculous. Un but Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Four nights. Four nights. Bit of Verona. Yeah. Verona. My Verona. So like honest to God, so beautiful. Not a holiday. No. Sixty one day we did sixteen thousand steps. We walked seven miles. You spoke to me yesterday and you exact you said seven miles, and in my head, I didn't say it out loud because I you know you get triggered by stuff, but in my head I went, not a holiday. Yeah. If you said to me, unless it was golf. If you said we're playing two rounds of golf, we're walking seven miles, I'd say absolutely let's dance. Although it's hot, let's get a boogie. Um I would not walk seven miles on holiday. Not uh But you get to say everything that way and we're like we're like well we didn't go out on the night times. I haven't told you this. We just went to bed. Right, I'm not a bad. Like drank wine in bed. Brilliant. I mean I've I've had a great time. Yeah. Don't need to go out. Don't want to get changed again. I don't want to get showered. I know what you mean. And wash my hair and go out on a nighttime. Yeah. Nah. I'd I honestly on holiday, leaving the pool to go and get ready for the night upsets me greatly. I know. Upsets me greatly. No, so but I had a mint time, it's so beautiful. I'm gonna have to take you. Like it's stunning. Yeah. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been in my life. If come and take if you can put push us around in a wheelchair, I'll go. I'm not walking seven fucking miles. You could walk. You don't have to walk. I could. I'm not going to. Why would I do that? I'll get a segue. Hoverboard. Oh, I'll go on a little hoverboard. That'll be mad. Is it seven miles or is it seven kilometres? I think it is seven miles. Europe in it, so probably kilometres. That's fuck all that. Great. Um well done, you. Well done. Welcome back. Um, this is the podcast. This is the studio, that's a microphone. There the things in your ears, they're earphones, that's a camera. Slap a smile on and let's crack on. I'm tired. I'm tired. And um I think I've caught a cold. Yeah. Because do you remember lockdown? And do you remember COVID? Uh blanket out. Coronavirus. Yeah. Corona. well the some people the some people I don't think they live through it. Right, okay. Because men, right, mostly mostly men of a certain age. Just sneethin. Carry on. Just I hear them. Just sneethin. Sne ethin. Sneezing. Yeah. Just into the into the air. Just literally like tr thinking that they were actually being well mannered by turning their backs away, but just not covering their mouths and just giving it a Right. So uh Only mentioned. You're not gonna enjoy this. You're not gonna enjoy this. I'm on their side a bit. Why? Because if you sneeze just into the ether, if there's no one in the way In a room. Okay, not in a room. But even though I mean if you're outside when you're on your seven mile hike. Sneeze into something or onto yourself and then wash yourself. Don't just be awful. Your hand's a lovely warm environment for the bacteria to live and thrive. So if you sneeze onto your hand you should sanitize or wash your hand immediately, right? However, if I'm outside, if I'm in the park with the kids and I'm standing in the corner or I'm sitting on the bench in the corner and the kids are playing and I need to sneeze, I'm not sneezing on my hands because I haven't got anything to wash my hands with. So I'm turning around, I'm just sneezing onto the floor or onto the grass because it'll die immediately. But we're talking about a city centre. Right. You know, a very touristy lots of people. Right. With no one around us, I would sneeze into the like f towards the floor. If there's no one around us, I will sneeze towards the floor just because otherwise I've got sneeze all over my hands and then I'm going you know. Why can't you just agree that it's gross and I've caught a cold off an old bloke sneezing into the I was not snee I was not kissing. Can't speak. It was so I think it was because it was me. Clammed up 'cause it was me, the age demographic. Yeah. It was very I was very young on that flight, which is crazy 'cause I'm forty this year. Um and also I've got one other gripe. Them new scanner machines I've got. Right. I don't understand the new scanner machines. W dohates this tell you? I've introduced them in Europe. So it's you scan your passport and then you've got to do um you gotta do a picture and then you've got to do your fingers. So my mum, bless her, is nearly seventy. She's got quite dry hands, right? I don't know what that wouldn't pick up her fingerprints, we had to do it six times. I said well I was like, you could rob a bank, Sandra, and get away with it. I was literally press ing a finger down on this machine and it wasn't picking up a little finger. I was like, you're dead inside. Who are you? Um and it's just so the like literally when we went when we got into the country I don't I don't know if it's a political thing, I don't know m enough about it. I don't want to get into the politics of it, right? Right. Whatever. It's just a pain in the dick. You get in, you gotta do your passport, you gotta do your picture, you gotta do your fingerprints. But obviously, in front if it was a queue full of Gen Z and millennials, it'd be done like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, you're talking the older generation, and I'm talking older, older generation, bless them, like the the it was just really tricky to understand. And you know, they haven't Well I mean it's new technology for them, yeah. It's new technology and it you know, of course it's hard to understand. So it just took fingerprints and face and passport. So you do it once, yeah. And then you've joined another queue, then you do it again, and this is just getting in. But obviously my mum's bloody crawfingers didn't picked up, so she had to go in a separate queue. Didn't get picked up again on the second one. She literally was like Wow. What the fuck? I was like, you're dead. Anyway . So then you do it twice going in and then on the way out you gotta do it again another two times and then the check it again. The check with passport. My passport was in in the space of a four like trip. So check six times. Jesus. I'm like, who do th who do you think we are? Wow. It's gone and then obviously you get really you're like, what they're doing with this data. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably conspiracy theory So now they've got your face, your passport and your fingerprints. It's nuts like that. Um so yeah, so if you are going this is just a tip. I think Greece have done away with them. Right. Apparently. But if you're going on holiday, leave if you're going back to England, leave a little bit more time in the airport because it's gonna be a nightmare. And uh and moisturize, although not pick up your own ise because yeah. So anyway, but other than that, it was really, really lovely. Good. Well done. I'm glad. And we're going on holiday tomorrow. Which is nice. We've had to record this in advance. So if you listen to this, this has been recorded beforehand. So yeah, you're literally Tommy Two holidays, you're back for one day, we're doing a podcast, we're doing a load of work, packing and then we're fucking off again. Thought it would be really sort of like glamorous. Do you know when you're like no it's not it's trash? Instagram and the internet and social media have have l led people to believe that travelling is glamorous. It's fucking dog shit. It's not anymore. It's not glamorous at all. It's trashy. And I think they do everything in their powers to not make it enjoyable. Yeah. Because I think it's almost like they do it on purpose. I think let's not forget, you're being fired across the continent in a canister in the air full of other people's thoughts and coughs and sneezes. It's mangled I genuinely think they're actually trying to make it so that less people I think too many people go and hold it. Yeah. And I think they're just like right. I've said this before. Like we you know like you know come out again we've met my call Rona, you know the the lockdown remember? We had that lockdown we had that summer it was the there was no flights. It was the greatest summer we've ever had. It was incredible weather. All the climate went up ever,ything. And then they put all the flights on again, and everyone's like, Oh, yeah, it's weird that's not weird. It's not weird. There was it was it was a thing. It's not weird. All the flights were down, so no one was driving around, no one was doing anything, all the emissions went down, weather went back to normal, wasn't fucking windy. And also no one was driving. I did the five and no one was flying. And everyone's just gone, oh yeah, smart, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Spent that isn't it? Listen, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being part of Shag Mario Noi. Please continue to like, rate, and subscribe and all your podcast shops and on YouTube, you go wait for the main body of the podcast. This is now business. It is time for this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor. This week's sponsor is and it's it as well and I can't believe I've never done it, but I might have, you never know. It is wearing a cap on top of your hood. Ew, who's doing that? Saw a guy the other day, couldn't believe it. Literally walking along, hoodie on, hood up, cap on top of the hood, putting the hood to his head. You look like a fucking playmobile Stop doing it. That's a new one. It was madness. Wow. I've never you look at a fucking you know why you're them snakes? You got a fucking cobra. Oh yeah. They've got that thing on the side, and they're just obviously a cobra. I wonder if it did it keep you sort of. Was it raining? No, wasn't raining. Just uh just an just a strange dude. Um so yeah. Might be like a a trendy thing. Well wasn't it look like playmobile characters? No, but certain trends people say right now he looked like a Playmobil character. Okay. And I didn't like it. All right. And do I regret running him over? No . That's what I did in the cars, by the way. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. do We had a fight about the jingle jingle gum. We couldn't settle on a jingle to jing do gado So this is the jingle jing le We hope you like the jingo doo doo jing go. Baba do baba do baba do ba jing go . Hello, welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, back, back. Yeah, no, but holidays are lovely. And once you there're it' its's fantastic. Again, it's first world problems whinging about you know but can I sorry can't just say it is very no you will it's human nature to whinge about whatever. Do you know what I mean? Um but also I don't think as Brits we would go abroad as much if we got the weather. We just wouldn't. I don't think we would leave England. We we have got like obviously as a tour and comedian, uh leg two on sale now, ChrisFamseycomedy.com for the next tour, best tour I've ever done, thank you very much. Um listen, uh tell them the truth it is, isn't it? It is a very good tool. Um I've been to some beautiful seaside towns that have died because of international travel. And so I'm you know, I'm talking like um what's uh uh Winter Gardens where they're Margate. You've got Margate. You've obviously got Blackpool, you've got Scarborough, you've got your Skagnesses. Obviously I mean Brighton's just South Bloody Shields? South Shields, of course, Tyne Mouth. Still does very well because A, it's easily four degrees warmer than here at any point, and it's just outside London, so you've got all that money going on. Eastbourne. Places like that, like Western Superman . All of them. Sorry, I have to say it like that because of T4 on the beach. Oh yeah. Yes. Anyway, what were you gonna say? But yeah, but we don't get the sun. We don't get the sun. So it's just depressing. Anyway. Um that was I was done. I have got some things that happened on the trip if you want to know about it. Yeah. Um so my Kate, I don't know if you know this about her, but it's I it's I feel like it's a really big part of her personality now. She's found these ear pods, ear things that she puts in her ears and she can't hear a thing. So she just sort of like went out share in a bed with her and she puts them in at night and she's like, um don't talk to us because I can't hear anything. That's terrifying. That's weird. Like what the fuck terrifying. We were in a travel lodge 'cause we flew from Leeds 'cause there was no flights from Newcastle um on the days we wanted to go anyway. And she's just I was like, You're just sleeping in a travel lodge, just just blocking out the world. What the fuck? Crazy. Just literally eliminating a set uh one of our senses. I was selectively deaf. But literally I didn't sleep, right? I didn't sleep the night in Leeds. I don't I think I saw every hour, right? I just don't know why. I was just widely fucking wake. And uh and every I was like I'm so tired and she's getting honestly my earpods you know when you're like I couldn't it's terrifying I couldn't I like to hear stuff yeah I know no she's just like what a wor what a life eh what a life um can I sorry, can I just say I heard the police helicopter the other night. Uh huh. Uh in the middle of the night I woke up the police helicopter I was kicking about South Shields. Yeah. Do you know I fantasize about them hiding in my garden and me catching them? Who? Whoever they're chasing. Whoever the police are. So I get up, whenever I don't know if you ever heard us moving around in the night, but if if the police helicopter's ever about and I've heard it, I'm I'm at the windows. I'm at all the windows, I'm looking out the back. I'm like, I will this is my moment. Yeah. Local Brazilian Jiu Jitsu blue belt. Oh my god. Holds rubber. Mm-hmm. Keeps the and I'll I'm like I'll I'll find them. You've got to have dreams. Honestly. Why not? I'll literally I'll have a hold of them, right? I'll have them f back I'll have both hooks in, back take, I'll have them an in the ear I'll be going this is my moment . Do you know what's so that's so upsetting? Why? Because as a woman I think about which room I'm gonna lock me and the kids in. Oh I say I'm so isn't that the difference there? While you're this is a knife. You're like seeking it. You're actually looking for it and hoping that you're gonna catch a robber. I'm every night pray that we don't get robbed so that I don't get raped and murdered. Oh. In front of my children. Isn't crazy? Are you are you trying to kill comedy again? Is that what this is? Is that what this is? Isn't this ? Have you have you lost the ability to just take a fucking joke? You have to go uh honestly, the amount of if I had a quit for every time you said as a woman, I wouldn't have to do this fucking podcast. I could just go and retire and live on an island somewhere. Not that kind of island. Sorry, I don't give a shit. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I don't have to always be funny? On the comedy podcast. Alright, well girl. Listen. Be a fucking nice ch nice start. Like be a start. Daisy, put what in a different category because I'm sick. Yeah. I'm sick of having to be put in the one. Lighthearted and merry all the time. Put in the one where everyone starts crying. Put me in the one where put in the new category. What's the category would say something, start crying? The interviews. Shh . Factual. That was when. Cry Crying. Yeah. I do uh got an escape plan. You're looking out of the window so you can catch them. I'm thinking. I'm like, I will go outside and I will I will take this robber down. This is this is me. God. Not if there's two of them. I'm jealous. I'm jealous. Brazilian jiu-jitsu doesn't work if there's two of them. Uh because the other one just kicks you in the head. Um, I uh also sometimes this is gonna make it sound like a psychopath, but me and me and Carl have spoken about this many a time. If I'm in a bad enough mood and something's happened and I happen to be walking along the street and someone slightly dodgy is coming towards us that I think I could physically take, in my head I'm like, please . And I know a lot of men will I know a lot of men will feel in my head I'm like, please. And I know it's a lot like, come on, punk, make my day. Yeah. But it it's it is that vibe. Weird, isn't it? I know that people love I don't know. But I think it's also a bit of a midlife crisis. I didn't want this when I was twenty. I didn't want that smoke, but I want it now. Maybe it's because you've done jujitsu now as well and you know that you could actually Maybe. Maybe. Again, if they're lighter. I say it in my show. Lighter. Completely untrained. Um Wow. You know. Yeah. Possibly with your own. Nah, I think it's all just a little bit angry inside. Yeah, yeah we are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it helps get it out. But yeah. Um no, but I'm I'm sorry. I don't know I know. It's very different and I'm not sure. You don't have to apologise. You're not going to apologize. Excuse me. You're not scared. Sorry. Sorry . You can look out your window for me all you fucking like. I'm not scared of you. I would beat the shit out of you. That's a different. You would just talk us down, you you would just talk us into the floor. That'll be I'd love to hear the rest of this stuff I'm sorry. So um just constantly humbled by my mum, the normal forty year old woman. Uh the best one was she was in the bathroom, this is the morning oh no, the night before we went away in the in the travel lodge. A lot happened in the travel lodge. Um I'd ha my toothbrush was out on the bathroom bench. Um bearing in mind I'm a very I look after myself, I'm nearly forty. Yeah. You know, I'm I'm not cruff. I do look after myself. Um humble just from the other from the bathroom. Oh someone needs their toothbrush head changed. That's a fucking great one. What a burn. What a burn. So I said to Kate, I went, have you brought your electric toothbrush? And she said, No, I went, oh so she's talking about me. Just there's nothing wrong with it. I got I literally just like mum, this she was like it's it''ss what it fray like fray what's she was like it's frayed. It's uh it is not. It's not. But what have I done today? Mm-hmm changed the fuck I haven't had because she gets in there. She gets in there. She's got it. So I've changed it. Speaking of humble, can we can we sorry you've got another one there? I've got a c I've got a couple more. So not to kill comedy, but um very so something happened, right, which I sort of impressed , also extremely pissed off. And you know when you say you want to punch people in the face? I was scammed. Like not scammed. You were scammed. I was nearly scammed. Right. Right? So the there's this new thing, right? And and it we saw a couple of Hendus in Verona and I was like, Hen it's not a Hendo place. Right. I was like, this is weird. Dressed up, all of the stuff like in the t matching t-sirhts. Uh-huh. And I thought, yeah, I was like, this is odd. Anyway, you know, whatever. We're walking down to the Coliseum, it was packed, and this girl dressed in a penis inflatable thing. Great. Okay, they ruin everything, didn't they? She was dead jolly. Yeah. Really lovely. Pissed. I thought she was pissed. And she was like, Oh, I've been dead by my fri end of people. She was like, I've been dead by my friend s to uh get pictures with people, so can I get a picture taken with you? And I was like, Oh my god, I was like, Yeah, of course, like you know, you're on your Hindu and I know that you do days on Hendoo, like my mates have done them, blah de blah de blah. So we got a picture taken with her, and then she was like, Do you want to stick out of me me but me husband to be? And we're like, Yeah, go on then and to and she was like, Oh blah di blah di blah, having a great day. And then and then at the end, and me mum and Kate were really wise to this, and I was not at the end, she went, if you've got any like spare change, if I were to get a drink, that would be so cool, that would be great. My mum, my mum went, no , no, and Kate, Kate straight away was like, no, nah no way . I literally before they said that had me hand in my pocket, I was gonna give her like three euro to be like have a great time. And it was a total fucking scam . It was a total scam to the point where my mum was like if we didn't have whoop the they'd like get a picture with you so they can pickpocket you. What the fuck? And I thought the lens that they've got was slightly impressed. But then we walked off and watched them and they did it with loads of other people, just got can't imagine being scammed by someone wearing an inflatable cost An inflatable fucking cock costume. I don't think I'd ever come back from that. She she had me hook line and singer. I swear to God. And you know when you're like annoyed for the rest of the day? I was like, that little bitch, that little No, no, I know what you mean. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're getting married. And she gave her this whole. She was like, I'm getting married, I'm not getting married here, I'm getting married, such and such. And I was like oh my god great that's unreal that I'm I'm very rarely am I speechless uh huh it was that crazy that's so I was like fucking bold scam I know wow. But it was so strange because the group of girls that she was with were like huddled but they weren't like paying any attention to us, they were like had the backs to us. It was just so odd. But my mum and Kate, they like they clocked onto it so quickly. I was gonna give her money. Just to be like, oh have a great time, like have a drink on me type thing. And then I thought what that's you wouldn't Where was she from? Um English? No. No. Okay. No. That alarm bells are ringing immediately because the inflatable cock thing seems like a very English thing to do. Yeah. I'd be very surprised That's why she that's why she had us because I was like home Yeah, yeah, dare I say it. Uh walking around any country in Europe, uh woman on a Hendu from England with an inflatable cock, probably listen to this right now. Like that's why there are our people. I was so drawn to her. And that's why I got me vote with her, 'cause I thought you really sad. Oh I know it was really it was really horrible, but then I just Well I told you when I got uh when the phone made me putting some effort into it. This is not just stealing from your bag. I'd rather just be fucking instead of acting. I think I'll I'm literally I was like ananna, I think I'd rather drama school Shahad. I think I'd rather be blindly pickpocketed or just go into my bag and realise something's gone than be fucking romanced into it and and cheated on in one go. Do you know what I mean? Like con I felt really conned. Oh if you stole when they phoned on me when the when they phoned up me and they pretended to be the bank and stuff. I was having a bit crack wrong with that. And then when I realised then I got the bank to phone that number again and it didn't exist, and I was like, I made her laugh. I know . I know I sounds I'm not trying sound like ridiculous here, but you know, and she was just like, Yeah, you're right. I was like, I can pick her accent. I was like, Okay, you're from an area that I've probably been to. Yeah. You feel like they've stolen a little part of you, don't you? Well, the stuff of my 'cause I was like, Eee, how lovely? Tell me exactly what they've stolen. They've stol aen little bit of their faith in humanity. Yes. And I would say don't let them steal it 'cause everyone's great, everyone's not great, most people are cons so yeah, uh they're right. My mum and Kate were for out keep stealing it until we've got none left and then that's the only way we'll be able to live f Okay. Baba do baba do baba do ba. This episode is sponsored by Huel. Alright, Chris. So we have been trying recently to be those people who, as much as it pains us to say we're gonna be forty this year, and we want to start hitting our protein goals every day. Well, you as we've talked about on the podcast, you regularly just put on the shopping list protein, and I have to just see what you mean by that. I have to just guess. It's genuinely really important. And actually, I think when you get your head around it, you feel like you've got a cheat code. Yeah. I didn't realise that this was a way to stay on track. Yeah. Whilst going to the gym and stuff like that, and it's really important. And this is just a faster way to get than your body. And I've got to say, some days were great, other days I look up and I realise that we've totally just forgotten to have breakfast. Yeah, that's why I've started using this light and lean starter kit from Huel. It's five Huel Light, ready to drinks, plus the black edition vanilla powder including a shaker. And it's honestly the first thing that's made it easy for me to stay consistent with getting enough protein. So how do you use the bundle? Right, well, for example, uh on days when I'm running out the door with no time for breakfast or after the gym or especially because I've been on tour a lot of the time on tour I don't have any kind of facilities to make any kind of food and you'll turn up at a service station and I haven't got anything worth having so I'll grab a Hu el light ready to drink. It's a complete meal: 25 grams of protein, 26 essential vitamins and minerals, no artificial sweeteners. It it tastes amazing, like I love them. I could drink them all day. Plus, it's shockingly filling for something that I haven't had to sort of stand prepping I've been using the hue light uh for that little bit of time in between so I like to go in the gym. You know me, I like to go in the afternoon more than the morning. Yeah. 'Cause I'm always starving in the morning. Um I like to use it for the kids drop off just before I go and get the kids. Yeah. Because tiding you over from that time if you've done a workout to when you actually have your tea slash dinner on a night time, I think it just kind of keeps you going. It keeps you going and it stops you from coming in and just grabbing the first thing like I'll just have six bags of crisps. Yeah. For an extra daily boost, don't forget the daily Now also available as part of the Tesco Meal Deal. For a limited time only get Hewell's full light and lean starter kit online now with our code SMA thirty. That's SMA30 for thirty percent off at Huel dot com slash SMA30. New customers only, thank you to Huel for partnering and sponsoring our show. Honestly, it just makes hitting your protein goals a lot less stressful. Protein. Bro tein. Baba do baba do baba do ba. So uh I had a horrible little revelation the other day with my mates. Um obviously I t I don't like talking about being old because obviously there's people who listen to this who are much older than us and there's people who are much younger and it's just an age. But when you get on a certain bit in life, sometimes like I said, uh there's now children serving us in bars, which I find a little bit jarring . I was having a drink with my mates the other night. Now, as we record this, today it is the it's the twenty first of May as we record this. By the time you listen to this, we'll be back off our holiday. Um but this weekend coming, Rioad One's big weekend is in Sunderland, in Harrington Park in Sunderland. And I remember when I was younger, I worked at the Stadium of Light and I was making all that I was like seventeen, I'd just got a car, a little Renault Clear one, all the other guys who worked there were all banging to my music. It was like Radio Wants Big Weekend. I remember some people got tickets, other people like jumped the fence, and it was like a big thing. And I was standing having a couple of drinks with my mates not a few days, not but a few days ago , and one of my mates went to my other mate, Hey, you seen that Radio One's Big Weekends at Heriton Park? And I'm like, Yeah, yeah. And he went, Yeah, yeah. And he went, Yeah, how you seeing the and I'm expecting, have you seen the lineup? Uh-huh. He said, How you seeing the road closures? Oh god. And the other minute went, yeah, I'll not be driving around there then fucking nightmare that like yeah, you're gonna have to go around the other way around and that bit of the A9 is that and I was just Oh Chris. And it was like yeah, fine like fine . But fat boy slim's on, he's our generation. Yeah, that's mint. Yeah, but there's some really good people on scene the road causes . Fucking wounded. I would I would have loved to have gone, but it'd be too busy, Romate. Too loud. It'll be too loud, it'll be too busy, they'll all be bloody smoking their vapes. How are you getting home? Uh I don't know you're not gonna tack you're not gonna bleed tax. You know, and you're gonna get picked up because of the road closures. And the last time And all the food in there. Too salty for me. Yeah, just too salt doesn't agree with his Qs, man. There's loads of Qs. E in the toilets. Oh disgusting. E you can't. The last time I went to a gig, that was like not too far away from home, but not close enough to like whatever. Was at the stadium of like the Spice Girls years ago. Do you remember when I pissed myself on my shoe on the way home because we're at a walk home because I don't know . Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Brilliant. Oh baby . Yeah, old bastards. Baba do baba do baba do bah. Speaking of being old, I tell you what freaked me the fuck out the other day. I was driving uh through Sunderland and uh out of the corner of my eye, I was on the phone with me mate, obviously I must just always on the phone to Jordan or Carl or someone, right? I was on the phone to Jordan and I went, mate, I went, sorry, I think I've just seen a robot going down the street. And he went, what? And I went, there's a just eat robot going down the street . Yeah. And he went, Oh yeah, yeah, they're a thing. I didn't know they were a thing here. I've seen them in London. Literally a little I hate them. Wa I had so many questions. I went, well what I went, well I went do, you just meet them somewhere? Or do they go to your house? He went, I think they go to your house. I went, how do they get across roads? He went, I don't know. I went, how do you get the food out when you get there? He went, well I imagine it's a cord. And I went, Oh I got like honestly. A robot? No. Have you ever seen Judge Dredd? The first one with Sylvester Stallone. No. Not Carl Urban. Rob Schneider. Rob Schneider is in Judge Dredd. And he he hides in in a a food robot when there's a shootout at the beginning and the food robot's just d thinging round and it's going, um what's it it's going, Eat recycled food. Recycled food is good for the environment and okay for you . And it's that? Yeah. It's that it's unbelievable. Yeah. We're living land cuckoo landman. I'm I'm really sorry if you live in a part of the country where robots deliver ing food is the norm now. But I I mean I had to go and pick up something from the the garage can I just say something right? Yeah. And this is wild and maybe a bit privileged, right? But why can't we say no to these things? What there was never a vote. Is everyone okay with robots delivering shit on your streets? No, I'm not actually. I don't want them. Right. Don't want them well. I know, but I just it's just rank. Right, but okay, so vote your feet. If not enough people use them, it'll get scrapped. That's the point. But uh I've only do you know you made me pick up something from the parcel thing, the drop off. I won't have a bad word. I won't have a bad word against the drop offs. I've never I've never had offs. It was unbelievable I went up amazing. It says tap the wake up, I tap the screen. I know I sound like I'm seven thousand years old here and I scanned the QR code and it said door open and stand back. I stood back. Door opened, parcel was it. I know. So actually, so okay, I'm not a full Ludite. I'm not a full Ludide because that I can get on board with. So if that you would not like that parcel on wheels coming to your door on its own? No. No. Because because then the problem is it takes it out of your hands. Like, what if they can't reach the doorbell? Or you get a text out of the day, I guess. You think it's got a little extendable arm? I don't know. So it's gonna reach up and let's do it. I just don't have them. I just said it, my mate on the f I said to Jordan, I said, how are people knock noting the fuck out with these? Like how I don't understand why someone hasn't just ran over and just flipped it. Like we live in a place where people do stuff like that. Well we grew up in the nineties, like it's a difference in time, like I don't know. Baba do baba do baba So I'll tell you one thing. I often forget how many people listen to this podcast and I forget like it's sort of I d I I constantly do. Yeah, yeah. And I forget that it's sort of part of people's life when we're out there in the world. Um and I got reminded Hi everyone. Hi everyone. I got reminded in an incredible way. And this is why I love our listeners so much. Uh-huh. Um so uh obviously trained Jiu Jitsu at SBG in South Shields. Yeah, have a bluebell, it's behind us on the thing, you know . Um I uh the the place itself is amazing and they do kickboxing the doors and things and they've got stuff for kids and everything and the staff there are awesome and there was a medical emergency in there, right? You saw me looking at the video when I got sent the video of the medical emergency. Now it was nothing to do with the training, no one got hurt in the training, it was a pre-existent thing that happened to the person while they were training. I just have to say that so you know that nothing happened underward in the place, right? But this is the funny bit, the paramed ics came to to the scene to sort out the person who was having the medical emergency, and my mate who runs the gym said to us that one of the paramedics was down sorting it out, sorting the person out, helping, and the other paramedic was just standing watching. And she stood up and she looked around the room and she went, Hey, is this the Cuddle Club? Stop Stop, she listens to my god, yeah. And after he texted us, he went, You'll not believe it. He went, and one of the parameter look round, she said, is this that you could have come up? I went, You can piss off. No way. He said, I'm telling you, she said that. I went, That's incredible. Incredible. I just forget. Did anyone comment on the video you shared on Instagram? Which one? The the gayest video in the world. So gay. A mounted triangle. You mean me doing a mounted triangle on someone? If anyone's watched heated rivalry, Chris shared a video of Cuddle Club the other day. Yeah. So gay. Yeah. You saw so gay. Yeah. It's gay as fuck. It's great. It's good. It's great. I'm not bothered. But also just therapy for blokes. It's therapy for blokes. It's fighting. It's let's have a fight, let's high five. How good was that? Buy. But it's when you've whenever you watch the UFC and I'm like, oh, these two hate each other, and at the end they're cuddling you're like, well, it was fake. No, they've just got it all out. It's gone. It's gone. I don't I don,'t get it. Anyway. Yeah. Well, there we go. Yeah. Baba do baba do baba do ba. It's time for what's your beef? What's your beef? What's your beef? Beef beef. Is your beef today, baby? So my beef, I have been I have been dry aging and marinading and slowing this beef since you went away. when it was this is uh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I have tested this beef out on multiple people. Uh almost like you know when I'm doing new stand up great and you hear me tell the same story to multiple people in my life and you want to die. I can't think of what's happened. Oh well, uh Carl's had it, Jordan's had it, uh Auntie Kath's had it. Right. Uh a few of the somehow's the stranger had it. Oh um yeah, one of the dads from schools had it, one of the mums from schools had it. Everyone's had this. So, my point is this beef has been road tested with the people. Everyone's on my side, so you can't kick off. Okay, I mean, watch me. So , everyone listen to this podcast, boys, girls, everyone involved, gather around, listen to this . Rosie Ramsey . You You I'm talking to you. Don't be surprised. I don't know what you're talking about. You took our children just before you went on holiday, you took them to Smith's Toys because they had gotten some pot money off Nana Bridget. You took them to Smith's Toys and you brought them home. U andh in an hour's time, no no no in an hour's time, you were leaving to go to Italy for four nights, and you bought our children as you were leaving the fucking country, you bought both of our children with no prior experience. Do you wanna tell me why we bought them? Roller skates, baby! Fucking set of roller skates each Hi Chris, we're back from the toy shop. Both your children have got roller skates. Bye . Ciao. Ciao Bella. I was f umin. I've never been so angry in my entire life. I've never Hey Chris, I'm about to go. Here's an incredibly dangerous toy for both of them that needs constant monitoring. Bye . Ben Honestly lip I've known nothing like it. I've known nothing like it. Well, alright, sorry. I have got a constant tummy like flabby bit above my bikini line from carrying those two children. Okay. So you can't deal with just a bit roller skin. If you want to have a competition of who's had a harder time with these kids, just go there. It was alright. You know what they get niche? You know what they get in each? Six puppies and an air rifle. There you go, lads. There's an air rifle each. Six puppies. Don't shoot the puppies, but you know. Bye. Great. No, I know. Okay. Okay. But in my head, they to they chose them themselves. Now I thought it was really wholesome. No, no, no. Did you put them away? Yeah, no. Took the wheels off. Took the wheels off. No, I didn't. Rafe didn't want to go on his again. Robin went on his, but just round the house falling into the cupboards and stuff. Horrible genuinely horrible I've known nothing like it oh sorry about that oh god and there any honestly any chance for me to mention my gunt and I will um I think it's me gunned. It's not. Is that fat fanny? Yeah. I've got one of them and I'll so listen. I don't have a beef with you because um I went away and you mit you've been mint with the kids, not one little word of complaining. It's only took you nearly ten years to finally be all right with being a dad. My anxieties, my anxiety's lower, they're really easy. Um life like and honestly, anyone, I said this to Carl the other day, anyone out there who's got like really, really young kids and it's like suffocating when you when you like obviously you love them so much, but it's suffocating the whole organization, everything you've got to do and you feel like you're spinning plates but they're smacking the plates off. Yeah. Gets easier. It really is. It gets and we've got a big age gap and it still gets easier. Well thank you though, because it made my time away really enjoyable. And do you know what like I said this before? Some di like because I think the world bombards were with reasons why we're not happy. Yeah. Like all these videos like you've married a narcissist or not like not telling you you have, but I don't get that Algorithm knows something I don't put it in. But anyway, it's just sort of like um I don't know. But anyway, listen, yeah. I was in Verona call me hand. I was in Verona with Mom and Kate and I had a lovely time, but the whole time I was there I was like I would love to be here with you. Oh and it was dead romantic and I just thought, oh after how many years we've been married now? Like nearly we've been together like thirteen yeah. Yeah. But I was like after thirteen year, I still want to be in a romantic city with you. So that was nice. That was a nice affirmation. Why are you killing comedy again? I'm not killing comedy, I'm just telling you something nice. Oh, thanks. But genuinely, and I think that's like sometimes you know when people go like, How do you know if you're in a happy marriage? Yeah. I think that's like a sign of it. Because if I was there and I didn't give you a second thought, then I th I think I'd be like, oh probably not in a happy marriage. But I genuinely was like I would love to go there with you. Oh well I uh thank you. And you know I'd I'd I'd happily do that. Um but I I realised when I was on tour this this year just gone, um second leg on sale now. Uh I on Saturdays and Sundays during the week wasn't as bad if I was just in a hotel or kicking around and go to the gym or whatever. But on Saturdays and Sundays when I was just in the van or s in the hotel and I would ring you and I would I was aware that you three were all just in the house. I was like, I'd rather I'd rather be there. Oh yeah, there comes a point where I I said to my mum actually I was like, you know, when the kids were really little, I was desperate for escape. Yeah. I was always d and I always felt like I oh my god like, it's just but I really miss them. Yeah I really missed you all when I was away actually. I was like, Oh my god, it's finally and then this window Yeah, but this window's really, really small, as they keep telling you on the internet. This window's small and then soon they're not gonna want anything to do with when we're gonna be left going, Oh my god, because it's so fucking tough when they're tiny, it's so hard and then it becomes really fucking fun for an incredibly finite amount of time and then they're gone. I know. So we need to um embrace it and we're going on holiday tomorrow and it's gonna be bloody lovely. Exactly. I'm really looking forward to it. But don't piss us off. Wow. And I'm sorry about the roller skates. I've packed them for the holiday. Yeah, yeah. Please don't Ex Exactactlyly. . No, you're right, it was it wasn't a good decision. Baba do baba do baba do ba. Baba do baba do baba do ba. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public Public as always if you'd like to get in touch, it's ShaggedmaryDenoid Gmail.com. If you would like to write formally a long form correspondence, should I say? And if you'd like to send a voice note, it is zero seven eight seven four four zero six six five zero. Thank you kindly. Lovely jubilee. Hi Chris and Rosie. I've been wanting to send a voice note in for a while about my mum, weirdly. Um when Chris talks about Sandra and about her being a womble, that always reminds me of my mum, because my mum will do anything for a bargain. She loves it. Bit of background on my mum. She's four foot eleven. She's a lollip op lady. She's never smoked in her life. She's very innocent. She told me once she'd been to the charity shop and she was so excited. She'd got this top. It was a real bogging. She was was really happy. It an Adidas top. Um and she was like, Oh, I'll wear it, I'll wear it tomorrow. And she came around to my house and took her jacket off, really excited to show me this cheap Adidas top that she'd got . Only it wasn't an Adidas top. It had it actually said it actually had like a cannabis leaf instead of the Adidas logo and instead of saying Adidas it said addicted she didn't have a clue what this meant so I had to explain it to her and she's uh never worn it again since Oh love it. Oh bless her heart. Oh that's great. Do you know what it is? I don't want to sound I don't want to sound pathetic here, but it's even funnier because she's little. Do you know how little am I gonna be? Yeah, you shrink, didn't you? You shrink? I'm only five foot one. Yeah. You'd be you I nearly laughter to four foot eleven. I thought that'd be me. Probably go down to four foot eleven, yeah. It's just the the in between your spine. You need you hang every day. You need to hang. Is it? Yeah, you need to hang every day. Great. I'll add that to me other bloody nine million things that I've got to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All your supplements. Collagen. Collagen, yeah. Wake up wake up at five o'clock and journal. Um no. Walk on the grass barefoot. Practice gratit So the A one sex shop have been in touch. No fucking way. Yeah, it's actually got a proper name. It's not just the A1 Sex Shop. It's called Pulton Cocktails. It's a franchise. It's a fully blown, like what's it called when there's loads of them? Franchise. Franchise. There's loads of them. Um it says here, hi. We a collaboration opportunity. Okay. Hey, I'm all ears. I'm businessman at the end of the day. Yeah, we love a bit of money, no matter where it's from. We recently came across your reel featuring our A1 store and honestly we loved it. We'd love to invite you both to visit the store properly as our guests. We reckon your followers would genuinely enjoy seeing what it's really like inside the store. If it sounds like something you'd be interested in, we'd be happy to chat through what a collaboration could look like and find a date that works best for you. So thank you so much. Um for the sake of our children, I think it's a no. It is a no, I'm sorry. If we didn't have kids, I'd be all over it. Yeah. I would be dildo in' me tits off. But or in me tits? Is that where you put them? I don't know. Lube? Ugh Anyway. So but um I did actually to give them a proper shout out, I went on their Instagram and I watched a reel and it doesn't look awful at all. It doesn't look seedy at all. It looks really nice. Yeah. Genuinely. And what does it sell? Like like um costumes, brasi ers , like sex toys. Long trip home, something on the way home, bit spicy. A buy, yeah, a buy yeah I'm on the way home. I've been working business all week. I'm on my way back with the year one, pop in, get a little pair edible knickers for the wife. Some like literally, we're just a bit vanilla. Again, yeah, we are. That's just us, but a lot of people aren't and that's their lives and um I hope that he's doing really well. Pull some cocktails. It makes sense actually, 'cause the amount of time I've been in the WH Smiths at Weatherby and asked for uh fucking A couple of cock rings and some mail beads and they haven't got them. No, what the bloody hell's happening to this country? But you're right, I'm in the cocktails on the wrong place, yeah. Fuck, it makes total sense. So thank you for getting in touch and uh much appreciated. Big love, pulls and cocktails. Shout out. There you go, you've got your free album. Congratulations. Wow. Baba do baba do baba do bah. Hi Rosine Chris. I have three stories of sexual embarrassment for you. There it is. One with a woman, one with a man, and one by myself. In chronological order. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Fantastic. All of the sex es. Come on then. Um one. When I was about fourteen I went into the bathroom for a wank, grabbed some lotion from the shelf and did my thing. Fourteen were lotion. Come on, what? Fucking kids these days. What do you mean? Lotion ? I didn't try lotion until years later. Did you lotion it up at that what the heck? Lotion. You're already on a lotion at fourteen. Jesus. Where'd you go from there? It was only when I was cleaning up I realised it was actually my mum's tanning lotion. Heavens to Betsy. I had a very sun-kissed penis and right palm, and nothing would get it off again. I just had to wait until it faded. Caught red-handed. Literally. Caught brown handed. Caught brown-handed. Um That's great. That's devastating. When I was with an ex-girlfriend, we were once getting hot and excited in the bedroom when she decided to try and add in some sexy talk. She sensually whispered the words you can ping my flaps if you want. Ten min ten seconds, eight hundred watts. Ping . Um I just laughed and said no you're alright and the second time ended there. No, you're all right. Still no clue what she expected me to do. Ping my flaps. Ping. I've got a pair of flaps. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Thank you. Um and I don't know what that means by ping your fla like flick them? Ping them? I don't understand. People like getting whacked sometimes, don't they? And they're flaps. If if it's a thing that they like. Oh god. Pings are amazing. I don't like anything like too aggressive. No, no. Oh my god. But not it's just I hate it when we're getting what let's not talk about our sexuality. No, no, no. Come on, man. The kids are getting older. We can't we can shame everyone else and talk about I said shame, not shave. We can shame everyone else, but we can't talk about ours. Ours doesn't exist anymore. We've done it twice and that was it. Remember? Yeah. Yeah. And it was horrible. Wasn't it horrible? Vi violes. Violes of it. Um last one. My first experience with a man. So I think this is a man . Okay. Yeah. Oh it is he's got a penis. Oh yeah, yeah. So this is a man. Hey. You're like Sherlock Holmes. Well done. That was really good. Deduction. And my dear Watson. That was phenomenal. Don't know what that word accent is. Elementary, my dear. Elementary, my dear Watson. Yeah. Elementary, my dear Watson. There you go, thank you. My first experience with a man uh was one I met on a certain app . Oh. I'm thinking grinder. We agreed to meet in his car in a local car park. As I got in, I saw he was about twenty years older than he claimed. Heavens. That's upsetting. But I soon forgot about this when I noticed some movement in the back seat. I turned to see a small fluffy fluffy white dog wagging its tail. The guy told me to ignore it and told the dog to stay. Just leave your dog at home when you're going out. Poor dog. Um the guy said to ignore it. Right. After some awkward kissing Harry Potter and the rather disappointing Oh my gosh. That is two of the two of the most lethal burns I think I've ever heard in my entire life have happened on this episode of the podcast. Rather disappointing dick, and someone needs that toothbrush head changing Don't put don't put me in this team as this. humbling. Um as I knelt down and suck it. So he's still going for it. Jesus Christ. Whilst I was busy, he was turning round to stop an excited dog from jumping into the front seat and and was repeatedly saying ? What wean? What is it? And was repeatedly saying to it, the dog, What's Daddy doing eh? What's daddy doing eh? That's horrible. That's horrible. I quickly stopped, made my excuses and left. Which is horrible. Oh, listen to this. Which was fine with him as he had to return the car to his parents who he lived with. No. That's disappointing. Everything about that sad . It's grubby and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. It's made us very sad. He should have left when his dick was really disappointed. You should have pinged them flaps. I know . Wow. Don't get the dude. What's daddy doing it? That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. Um anyway, I thought you'd like these stories. We kinda like kinda did, but also hated every second of it. I hated them, but I loved I loved how much I hated them, so never stop. Never stop. What a hot what what some sad sexual experiences? Yeah, I think that's Pygmy Flaps probably put them off girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, the disappointing dick and the dog in the back. He's probably what's it called when you don't want to have sex at all? Asexual. Yeah, I don't blame him. Yeah. Honestly. Listen, dude, there's an amazing sex shop with me on that We're fully involved with and then DOS. Um Get yourself there. Just use the code uh Chris and Rosie and get yourself uh kicked out of the shop. Baba do baba do baba do ba. Hello, Ramses. Hope you're okay. We are. Yes, we're great. Thank you. Thank you. I've discovered a new ick about my husband that I needed to share immediately. Brilliant, thank you. We are on holiday, and I'm writing this as we're on the bus transfer from the airport to the hotel. Nothing sadder. Nothing sadder. I don't care. There's just something about that extra little bit of travelling. I don't care what I don't I don't care if you're getting a limo from the airport to your hotel, it's still the worst bit. Gotta drop everyone off. Yeah. It's just the w I mean they're dropping everyone off, yeah. But even if you're on your own one and a taxi one, like it's just Do you remember years ago? Uh huh. Um when you didn't know where you were going . Uh yeah, that was a thing that people could do that could just book them holidays and yeah, they didn't go to. And you would pull up and go, Is this ours? Is this one? Look how amazing it looks. No. It's like a full fucking holiday of look what you could have won. Yeah. For a villa. I think that it was off teletext holidays. Brilliant. And every single villa stop that they made, we were like, This is like looking going, Oh my god, it's Maze and is it us? Is it us? I mean luckily the villa we went to as kids was wild fucking. What a wild way to live. And now we like read every review, we like check all of the pictures. That's such a good point. Now we're like, yeah, oh this place looks good. Five stars. Hold on, hold on. Someone said they didn't renew the towels daily, right? We're not going there. And we yeah. Does that still happen? Are we privileged? Does that still can you still book a holiday where you've got no clue what your accommodation is? I don't know. You probably can, but uh no, I don't I mean no . It m can't be. No, I don't think it does. We'll find out, but I've crazy. Yeah. I mean exciting . Excuse me. Exciting. Terrifying. Yeah. No , I wouldn't sit well with it. No. Listen. I'm writing this as where on the bus transfer from the airport to the hotel we haven't even got to the holiday yet. Oh and she's already got nicked out by him. Right, okay. As the bus departs, my husband takes out his phone, opens Google Maps and puts in the hotel destination as if he's driving, so that he can follow along the journey and make sure the driver isn't going wrong. He looked so proud of himself and all I could think was Ugh Dear you do that? Yeah. Do you do that? Yeah. Do you? Re regularly. Really? Oh I didn't know that. Oh god. Sorry. I think most blokes do that. Oh really, is it? Uh yeah, I'm literally like 'cause I wanna know one, I wanna know how far it is. And two, I just wanna think, alright, where's he going to here and I'll have a little look at the room. If I've got a train to catch I sometimes check the how far a way it is. No, but I mean I'll check the train but I wouldn't follow along. Uhhuh. So I like the um You're on your holiday, why does he care? I don't know why I do it. I do it. I will I'll do it when we go to it. I'll do it tomorrow. I will be doing this. What time is it now? I'll be doing this at about this time tomorrow. Uh in a taxi from a airport to the ho to the to the hotel. Okay. Literally looking going. That is wild because do you know what I find crazy about that? And I don't want to be a company. Oh, I'll have to ask you what the hotel's called. Yeah, this my god, I do this. I've just been slanging off. I go on holiday and I've got no idea where my hotel is . I don't know where we're going. No. Ah I booked this on teletext, that's why. No. Chris, you you have not booked anything. But you will but you'll check how far it takes to get the hotel. Yeah, but I'll ask you what's the hotel calling. What country we're going to really, do you actually know? We'll go to Mallorca . Yeah? Yeah? Mm hmm. What airport we're flying to? Parma. Oh well done. Okay. Well that's because it's the only airport we need to. Is it Mallorca or Ma I don't know which one? E double L is it? E . So we're going to Majorca. Major, but then there's Majorca. Majorca. But then there's Majorca and Menorca. Mannorca's definitely a different place. Majorca, I've always been on the fence about that. I don't know if that's just people saying it wrong I don't know if that's just jalapeno. I don't know if that's just jalapeno, jalapeno. I don't think Do you know what I hate when people are like, where are you going? And I'm like, I just say Palmer. I don't know. Because we're not go staying in Palmer. I don't really know where we're going. Majorca is an I no. Majorca and Majorca is the same thing. Great. Oh, hold on. Oh. Top question on Google. Well, fourth question. Are Majorca and Majorca the same? Yes, Majorca and Majorca are exact same island in Spain's Balearic Balearics. Completely bottled that and I moved away from the microphone. Sorry, sorry, I'm dead busy. Um no what's menor Fuck me, Minorca's a different one. Also in the building. Right, so So we'll show up in the map here now. So how do you pronounce where we're going? Majorca. Majorca. That's Menorka. Menorca. That's Palmer. That's Magalof. Okay. So where's the place that's spelled M-A-J-O-R-C-A? Majorca . That 's just Majorca It's just the the way they spell it and the way we spell it. No, I think that's what it is. Majorca is the original Spanish and Catalan spelling of the official name. Majorca is the anglicised spelling historically used by English speakers. Oh, so we've bastardised it as usual. Great. So there's not three different places. It's just we've changed. Oh god, okay, good. I see I said that, didn't I? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, brilliant. So yeah. And all on the uh but I don't think islands. Jesus. But also you're well if you've learned anything I I can guarantee everybody and Majorca Everybody who edits our podcast will now be thinking why do we work for these twat these fucking arseholes in charge of what we do and they've got to edit this. So guys we're really sorry. Just because they're very you know again, if anyone says if you hear anyone say Majorca, they are just saying uh Fajita and Jalopino. That's all that's happened there. Mm-hmm . Good. I'm glad we learned that. I I feel better about that. Yeah. I feel better now. I feel great. Majorca and Majorca, same thing. Yeah. So I'm gonna say that to someone on the holiday and they're gonna go, Yeah. And I'm gonna go There's only so much room in here. In your head. Yeah. There's no room in yours, you're kidding us. Yours is like a um you know on storage wars when they'll open one of them metal containers and there's just like a dusty old fairground ride in it. That's your brief. I'm struggling at the minute actually because I need to go and find a pair of sandals in the garage. Right. And it's all I'm gonna think about. Oh can I can I please beg to not be part of this at all? Oh no come on come on. No, I'm coming the guy for fucking sandals I'll buy you some more sandals. I'll buy a new set of sandals. We haven't got time, we're going tomorrow. Do you want to sell sandals? Oh no, not good ones. Do you know oh access rise? Okay., maybe Do I'm not going in the I'm not but I've I'll smash the garage button that opens the garage. I'll smash it and I'll snap the key. What's that? If you're just there when I'm doing it, I get it too. If you're not standing in the garage while you look for some sandals that you won't fuckin' wear anyway no no no no no no as me roll up newspaper no babado babado babado ba do As always, thank you so much for listening to uh our stupid little podcast. And it's just lovely, lovely to do this still after seven years. Lovely to have you here week after week. Um we love you.