Reflecting on Two Years of Growth

Oh hello it's Harriet and I've just come on to let you know that I'm on tour. Later in the year I'm bringing my show Fuie to you fluszing about the UK. Lots of new shows have been added. Edinburgh, Glasgow, Manchester, Birmingham, London, New Date there and we've added Winchester Froom got in trouble for pronouncing that wrong. Froom, Taunton, Leeds, Milton Cunes, Leicester, Margate, Farnham, and let's not forget, Colchester. You can get tickets at harrietkeemesley dot com and I'd love to see you there Introducing the total Solutions advantage only from Comcast Business. It's the largest fastest fiber powered network for small business, gig speeds with equipment and security included and a five year price lock No one does business like Ccast business Switch today. Get started for sixty dollars a month for twelve months when you add an advanced solution to a qualifying internet package. Limited time offer. restestrictions apply. newew customers only requires three hundred megab per second internet, secur edge and additional qualifying service, one year agreement, paperless billing and autoay bank account required tax and fees extra Iill and I'm Hrite Kemesley. We're both single and in our thirties and we've found ourselves back on the dating scene Thescape has changed. Everyone has settled down, but we're back out there. We're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're gonna speak to experts, chat about dates we've been on if we manage to get any and share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we'll see about that. This is single ladies in your area M It's just so cozy when it's the do ofver us and dog and dog. We've got a podcast on dog's b Sunny Harrit's beautiful, very talented dog. It's what' got a p? A bad pw. It's hard. It's hard being a dog. And it's hard being a single lady sometimes. Yeah Sometimes it's hard to be a woman Give in all your love to just one dog Edy, she's got a voice. What can't you do? That was beautiful. Find the map. Oh ye the bcast Yeah I have something that might help you. Oh, I have been reading a book Oh my god, just when you think, you know Harriet, she really throws a curveball. It turns out I can't do it all Go on I've been reading a book. so there's more to the story. So the book Its not the end, it's just the beginning. It's just the beginning. The book is called attached. Okay. I'. Yeah. So it's about S something we'veo about before, A attachment styles. Interesting. And as we all know, we are anxious.ious anxious attach. I was actually gonna to say, but I've realised I've got attachment styles mixed up with something else. I was gonna say acts of service As of service. actually attach. Although actually speaking of that, I've realized my love language is acts of service and it's not gifts That feels like growth. That is growth, isn't it? I actually don't care about gives. I care about someone doing something for me. Yes. Yeah. So anyway, attached is about attachment style. So as we know, we're anxious. And so there's three different types. One is secure One is anxious and one is avoidant. Yes. There's fingerp there for that for the avoidant one There In the book it says that twenty five percent of people are anxious, twenty five percent are avoidant and fifty percent are secure. No. Well, the problem is you might feel like you're coming across a lot of avoidant men. Do you know what the problem is? The Problem is all the secure ones get attached quickly and they stay because they're secure so they stay in relationships forever. And what is left? All the anxious freaks and all the avoidant losers just bouncing off each other, just like ones trying to grab on Oh trying to run away. That's what's left in this hellscape. This is why everything's f This it's f God. But you can work on your attachment star and you can Change atttachment stles I'm going go straight from anxious to avoid. I'm skipping out. Okay, so say say I go from anxious to secure It still means all the other fuckers are avoidant or anxious. I don't want to be with any of them. I think that there will be some stays. there's some stays. like not all of that not all of the seures are in relationships, you know, because they they might have been locked up somewhere for a while. they might have they might fallen underground. You know how sometimes people get trapped on places underground and then there's a rescue mission and they emerge and they have a big beard And I love what wear. Yeah So we a love soial hat. Yeah So o. is the this is the thing and I think it's been very interesting to read because I've been having feedback in my life from people around me Women are saying Don't change. you're perfect Be be as you are.. Men are saying, you should try and be different. Oh o. It should be less you. You should stop going into things like my ex husband was actually very sweet the other day. I know we had like a nice chat. Give him his flowers when they're due. Don't just say bad things about him. He has very good qualities as well. And he was very sweet. and we were talking and he was like, I think you're're just can't help being yourself all the time and you're just going into the world kind of un guarded against the world and kind of hopeful and not and I don' want to I don't want to lose that I think I need to get some steps to protect myself a bit from it And I think that's maybe true for a lot of us, maybe Okay, do you think? Yeah. I mean You never want to be like, Hey, don't be yourself. That is literally multiple men have said that to me when I've asked it and I've speak them recently. Yes, but I know. I don't even know which specific men haveve said that, but I know the men in your life and I would say we mustn't listen to a word that just say Yay Protecting ourself is good But we also want to be our authentic selfves. it's tricky isn't it? It's really tricky. It is tricky and hope is good. Without hope, we've got nothing is good. One ofne of the mle friends was saying that I need to stop jumping in with both feet and just put one toe in I r. I put the toe in, I put the rest of the foot, and then I put the other foot in and then I move my house in as well and then I'm in This ship there's not space for it. It's not space and I haven't been asked. that's really crucial That's a really crucial detail that I need to slow slow, but it's so slowly hard. It's so hard to slow things slow and try and be grounded and cool and calm. I'm tell you, it's hard, babe, but you'll get there That said I don't do the e. Let me tell it. As a woman who doesn't project onto a man. that she's maybe had one interaction with, Pject that he's the best guy put all my hopes for the future. It's like, o you liked an Instagram post. Well, when we get married. Yeah, really it's really tricky. Yeah you know what when the right person comes along? They'll want us to jump in with birth fee. Well, is this is what I was saying. and they were saying, but you could be less. You could, you could you could still be less, which does feel personal. But I literally like I highlighted look at all these things I've highlighted. like I've highlighted so many things. Oh, he's from the ch. Should I read some things?? Well, one really interesting thing, I thought, because I think I think what's difficult is if you are single independent lady Like we are like I love that. I'm so proud of us. L I think we should like take that on and live that but that It sometimes can get confused as thinking that if you want a partner that you're letting the side down a bit. Yeah Yeah One of the interesting things in the book was saying about how when you're in a partnership with somebody and it's like a really tru good partnership, they monitd somebody's brain. and when they got bad news, they had a certain reaction. But when they had bad news and they were holding the hand of the person that they were in a partnership with that they loved and respected The impact of it was less. Oh my Lord. Obviously they have to be somebody that is because I've definitely been with people who have erased me things thate much. So it's definitely about finding the person that wow harms your nervous system. But then and it was talking about how we are meant to partner up and to be these support systems for somebody and to be the person that kind of steadies you and you work through life together And I just hadn't like that, I think in a long time. Yeah.elt it feels like kind of in a weird way like the opposite has happened where you have to be like, I'm fine on my own. I'm and they you. But I think it is nice to think, oh, I'm waiting for the right one. but I do ultimately you want a partner and somebody that I can study them and they can study me be nice Oh I imagine. Hm I have a good partner made your life better it's impossible. Well, this is the thing. All the secure ones have gone, Harriet. It's just a load of avoidant turtles. Yeah When our partners are thoroughly dependable and make us feel safe and especially if they know how to reassure us during the hard times, we can turn our attention to the other aspects of life that make our existence meaningful Having somebody there that you can like hold it down for each other. Yeah. But I just I think with it it is also just so clear importantort it is to pick somebody that is a secure base Yes. You've got to be the right person. Oh, it's hard. And it literally talks about how your physical health is affected. Like if you're with a partner who's like not the right partner for you. Oh yeah you it can make you sick Yeah hundred percent. Yeah I think I had the realization on this podcast, however many episodes before when I was just like H It's so weird that I don't have panic attacks anymore since I've broken up with Yeah, my boyfriend. never add once at my back. I add once. one on a public transport, which do you know what? That's a bad boyfriend themselves. That's a bad boyfriend. They turn up late They make you pay noisy noisy. M cough in my mouth. My I didn't read a book, but I did see something on Instagram, which I would just to share with you. that's allowed Yeah. So This is good news actually for Quite a few Quite a few listeners. So if you are Scorpia like me Taurus, Leo or Aquarius Oh, this is going to be great news The hardest seven years of our lives will end on april twenty fifth So by the time this episode comes out, I imagine it's already ended. So I'm talking now as a woman who's endured seven tricky years. Yeah. But when this is out I'll be Livving the high life. You'll probably be on a beach somewhere by the p I imagine. I don't want to pop the balloon here did say the same thing about cancers earlier this year. they said, I think it was Even like maybe a ten year cycle of hardship. Oh was ending. Oh, and it ended I say things feel still bit hard. things still feel quite hard. It's confusing when the planets are align. Right. Yes.most like this might be Bllets. I hope for all those people though, and to be fair that is A third of the population a quarter popul ye Yeahah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I do hope for them that this is true. You've got a hook. can so let me see what it says. Uranus in Taurus, blah, blah blah has been sitting directly across from your sign for seven years, which means the planet of radical disruption has been pushing on everything scorp your holds most sacred, like your privacy, the need for control and your carefully managed sense of power. Right Well I don't know if I agree with any of that, but yeah. You have probably had situations over the last seven years where things you thought were safely contained became very much not contained. Chris came out. I think it's talking about us doing the podcast So it has to end, got to. It's gotta w it's been a fun, but we we've got to listen to Uranus Always listen to your Aareness. if let's just take away one piece of Please please listen to your Aareness Please, you must. We're not doctors. We're not doctors of the planets or the bodies, but you must There's one thing I always do is listen to Eliz to your. hang on hang on. It's a working not too. All right, how's yourna doing today? It' like blogging something. I don't know what. It' looked off seven years. let's just say that Um d d da d d Underneath the Iice quQeen exterior, and I think I am Sus and I have been. We got you squeen Iice queen knows you It's got your card. I keep saying phrases. Is that a true? I know hard. Iess it's gotott your carden. I know your I just I just keep saying phrases like really confidently and I say them, I think it's not it but we are being recorded. I' done some other episodes, I just keep talking. This is the problem with the podcast, you're just talking and youre just So maybe I've got your card as a thing. I know I've got your card. I've got your card. I've got your number. Yeah, that makes more sense. I've got your number And your card and the birthday card Yeah because Yeah that's in my bag. Basically, the thing that made me go, well that ismate says, there has probably been a level of exhaustion that you have not let many people see. Yes april twenty fifth, that pressure from the outside stops. And what you were left with is actually something really significant Seven years have been pushed towards integration and letting some of what you hold so tightly actually breathe has made you more powerful, not less I don't know what that means, but I do start a new job on april twenty sixth Well Maybe it's all gonna change for me. Maybe. You're going do this job I've got toa do the job, Harrot Wow, in the diary. Whoa, hooky Nucky. Yes astronomy is real astrology or whatever. I guess I' got your number. I guess I guess astronomy is real. I guess we have been into the moon Get things right is so hard. I'm so hard. I'm so tired of getting things right. That's maybe on april twenty fifth, that's when I'm gonna just be able to rest Yeah. Stop trying to get things right all the time. Yeah Just let it go Maybe we'll just breathe out and just be less exhausted But can be less exhausting How doesn't know her? I don't know her Introducing the Total Solutions advantage only from Comcast Business. It's the largest fastest fiber powered network for small business, gig speeds with equipment and security included and a five year price lock. No one does business like Ccast business s Sitch today. Get started for sixty dollars a month for twelve months when you add an advanced solution to a qualifying interternet package. Limited time offer. restestrictions apply. New customers only requires three hundred megabits per second internet, security edge and additional qualifying service onene year agreement,aperless billing and aut pay bank account required. Tax and fees extra So you know we did a list before Yeah. We wrote down like that list of things and then we talked about the other day how we should update our list of foring a partner. I think we should do that. I think so it works so well at first . Well, no, but it actually did because I actually I actually met people that had a lot of things in the list. Yeah But one of the things I realized was missing that I would add to in my list if we're going to do it now. Yeah. One thing I would add is feeling like I wrote so many things like on the list And at points with people I've felt it, but I didn't have like this I't want a consistent feeling of just feeling like safe and like like so yeah, like Aord feels like a horrible word. No say like But it makes me feel a bit like I creepy. I adore you. But then you're like, is that bad for a woman to be adored? likeike as if she's No, Harriet. just yeah We want to be adore We adil them. That's it. I will adore them. I will adore them. And so I want to really like feel that and just feel s and I didn't quite feel that, I guess. At points I did, but then I didn't and as soon as it's gone, it's gone, you know? Yeah, and we don't want it to go. You need to feel consistently at all. Yeah. I'm gonna read out your list of what you said before, Let's see if checks someone it makes a lot of sense. Someone this is number one on the list. Yeah. Someone who checks the doors. Stand by it? Yeah. St by it Safety. someone but somebody that's like getting up and doing something proactive to like work towards the safety of your family. I love. like I really stand by that and the more it goes on, the more I'm like like I was getting so passionate. I've been thinking recently what I'm looking at and I'm adding to the l. and I'm like, I don't know I'm just gonna like aim really high because I know that I like, but I'm like, I know what I really want. Like yeah, I would love somebody that would like come with me on tour to like some of the tour dates and like drive me there to some of them and like takeake me to the gig and sit in the audience and like love it be like, I'm proud of you and this is great. No, but like partner in it. Yeah a partner in it. like ' I'll do that for them with their work. but that you like and then it's like it's so lonely, like going on tour and doing all this stuff. Yeah. But they'll come with you and be part of it and you'll be part of their life And being proud of someone. Yeah. And then it's like rather than being like, oh, it feels like I'm being embarrassing or wanting them to get into that stage in a relationship with somebody'm like I didn't stand up, I just like, like it down and I'm like, I'm so self indulgent, I'm so like, whatever. Iy It's icky and like, oh like stupid me. And actually I went somebody who was like, No, this is like so vuagging cool and like yeah like I know it sounds that's a lot, but it sounds so n. It someone that's proud of you for your job and your career that you've worked really, really hard at for more than a decade. Yeah. This is bare fucking minimum. Yeah, but it did it felt impossible. Yeah It felt impossible over years ago. And then now I'm like, no, that is what I want. And like you have like a show abroad or show somewhere else that they'll come with you and be like, I'll work and I'll do my own stuff like whatever remotely and you can just be in it together because it was that remember that I didn't want them around. And now I've realized I do want somebody that I want to be around I do want to be around somebody and actually like quality time and physical touch like is something that Oh my go. Yeah, you're coming over to my way of thinking. just want to look at their. Someone else to be in control, but not controlling Wow, what does that mean to you think? So yeah I don't know, I't know I't know. But yeah somebody to take charge of it. Somebody to just just you're not just making every decision, yeah, but also that you know, they don't ruin your life. get put that one. thenen Skis, snowbalds, snowbalds first then skis. I have realised that this is actually Be I've met people with snowb, but like that felt like a mad thing to want. And then I met people with the snowboard and I was like, this is amazing. But actually like that would be a really cool life thing but that's actually like I have friends I can snowboard with. if they did snowboard, they wanted to do it amazing, but actually like That's not huge any. Yes. then we've got Last two Playful Yeah, love makes life fun. like you just have life there's so you just want to go do something fun like You have to go to the post office but you're just you're having a fun time. we just have a laugh please please. And then you've got DIY expliment exent Explanation markark. explanation mark I saying. Eplanation mark. Yeah Yeahah, that's important to me. I've also got DIY on my list Yeah, don you want me to read your list? Oh, yeah read my list Wow, yours is yours is better, I say Ys is better. Yours is like less random I would say. kind. Yes. I really, really want that. I It's what I'm looking for more than anything. Yeah. Is someone' so kind that they don't even like think about it, they're just doing kind stuff. Yeah, and it's not a chore to be kind. it's no. It Ces from their bones. Someone whose bones are kind. Kind bones shharing I guess that's kindness Like and a generosity, like somebody that's just like doing things for like keep it around them without you thinking of it That's the thing. It's like Not even sharing with me, it's like watching someone do something. altruistic, just like behind in the world and It's the biggest my her on. we could tell these inells Yeah, this. Yeah. they've gone the wrong way. There's actually It's not because you don't have money or you don't think you'. It's because you're not being kind. Nobody wants to fuck you you fucking idiot. Yeah. This is mental. Nobody gives a fuck if you don't have the muscles or whatever. You're literally being the opposite of kind and that's what we want. And I think one thing with kindness is it also includes communication. Like I think it's actually I think people sometimes think that it's kind like not to say what they're thinking or to like I think it's kind to communicate. like and it's like a yeah, hard, not a natural thing. I think, especially for some men with they being brought up like, yeah, communicate what theyreinking, what they're feeling like what's happening Imagine knowing what was going on in a man's head I don't think we should we should go in that place. I that' a place not me for us. I think we would never be a drag to de men anymore if we went to that place. Fny, you put funny. Yeah, Fny.'s important. I want funny, yeah. I want funny. But funny, not like Professionally funny just like speaking funny. Yeah, have a laugh with me. Let's talk shit, let's talk nonsense Pes. You know maybe the biggest one you've had so far. Passionate about the NHS Really, really stand by that passionate. Really p. How many pantans were they banging? Oh, they were head to toe in pants. They had su many pants. Well, I think I maybe want to go out with someone who works for the NHR. Yeah, that's lovely. I think I'd use ' that they epitomize everything. They're kind sharing all this empathy of lot of people in the NHS, I will say have some of the finest funniest personalities of all Yeah because you kind of have to to deal with stuff. I love someone who work for the NHS. This is like an NHS dating app or something. You knoward look that's like card. I' lose card oratever' they get a discount. Oh my Godd. can't remember if I've talked about this or not, but very briefly, I went on the last leg, a live TV show and we all had to go around and say our person of the year. down the camera and I nominated that I'd just seen because he was so hot and he said he was gonna watch And the doctor emailed me And I was like, this is it. this is the king This is it. this is the start of it and I emailed him back. That's the end. Oh Oh that's the end of that. I mean, what could he do? I'd only emailed him because I had to send over a scan him to reply. I use that because of the code. I know. But if you did want to slide into Amy's DM so you he that in the email I said I'm on Instagram if you want to I don't know what I'm putting on my Instagram that is repelling people But Dctor A. Do you think it's this podcast? Yeah Yeah. Do you think it's a doing thing? Yes. I think it is. I hate that. Yeah. These are like private things that girls are men to do in private. I don't think they' gonna happen so that they can see it, you know what I mean? Yeah, this isn't it It's this its this Oh, I've got one more update actually while we're on the topic You know, I went to Australia There was that guy fantastically hot train driver that came out with. Great but told him that I worked in admin Despite you did a dog at the downhlls. Despite these women coming over while we werere on our date saying, I saw you today, I really loved it. I Oh thank you, thank you. And what was that? And I said, I did a talk about admin at the time. Play it it's a popular talk. It's like, Oh wow. Big fans of my admin across the oceans. Well, so I did last one laughing, which obviously you did Series one, the OG. Obviously they put clips of that everywhere and then I just got a watchs because he doesn't follow on Instagram or anything like that And I just got a WhatsApp from him, you know, a screenshot of a clip. of me and he just put in capitals what the And I put Perfect. It was really good about it. It was really good about it. Obviously you don't know how someone's gonna to take something like that. Yeah But I just didn't have I knew it would be like One night Possibly two night them. That's now time to go into Yeah Yes, I know James Aircaster. You know when I talked about this how people are like what's this person like? Do you know this person? Yes, I know all the male comedians that you like and they're all fine Yeah Yeah, so that's my little update. it's such a perfect update. Thank you There's more updates G gott to get in there and sniff them An arhole, ye, that's the big lar. Yeah Yes Tara W, I' actually probably want a carer P got to take that off. It's like Gara. Playful. Yes. Stole that from me. Yeah. good at DIY. Stole that from you. Creative No not this is bothered anymore about creative. Yeah. just passionate about a job. like having something where they, I think this is the thing they need to know their path. they're on it. they're doing Yeah. They don't have to be making loads of management. They just have to be excited about it. and just re doinging something They about thing that they're either that they love or that good at or the NHS. Standing up for what's right. Yeah, I love that. That is hard not her fan Ohh my Godd, listen to this. so I was in in an office yesterday and I think it was she I know. I think I' wom been a bit So Lovely incredible man, Mike Wasniia. came up in conversation about how he's like the nice he is like one of the nicest guys in comedy He loves his wife so much. He's a great dad. I mean, as far as we can tell, I don't want his wife to be like, Well he didn't, you know He's a good from the outside at least And I've heard nothing to the country so hard, isn't it? Ohow. How many caveats. he's a good man. He's a great man. I like him. Oh God this felt he was in a script reading of some sort of meeting Haused it because you could see some it's like kids, like teenagers having a go at this Like teenager And he like paused it and just like went and sorted it out because he didn't want like any bullying to happen. And I was just like It's amazing. Actually's right. Where was this reading happening? Is greamish Hill? I don't know no idea. It' cool assembly this is a badestory of. That is so that is amazing. sort of thing. Like if a guy If a guy can stop a fight Oh my not accentuate the fight, not do Dcelerate the fight. Oh Decelerate, is that a word. But docelerate it makes sense. It does because you accelerate. you acate. Yeah. I just want toceate You need somebody who is looking for somebody that cannot speak right words Violence M. What was this about? Violin. I think what I meant at the time was that like is about the Dast Dcelerating the fight is it Yes the passion for standing up for whats? Yeah. Right. But also like violence for good. Violence for good. Yeah. Mbe if you have to, if you have to. I mean, I don't want anyone to be violent at all. Over Harriet I have been watching a lot of rugby matches, Rugby League. The things that their men do really do things to you on a cellular level. Yeah, as a ruby is what. Man it's tricky it's Just someone who's always been like I think I want the tortured pooet type thing. W you like a big fit guy Bring down another big fit guy just because they want to get a ball Pase injecting me with Eergy watching this happen. I didn't know how I mean rugby playaysers have always been fit, of course, we know that, but just seeing just seeing the warm ups It's so hot God' hest thing. But it's like I think it's just such an impressive thing because like I also think m rugby players is are very hot, but the women's rugby players is like fucking insane. L I so' been watching women's rugby. You were' kind of even to the they kind of they kind of made me but you don't want to mess with them, you know what I mean? They've kind of been forcing me to watch it. But I've got really into it I've got like they inc redibles incredible Lague orunion, the women's one. I don't know what it's called. yes, I did a podcast on it. It's the big rugby. It's the big rugby And they're so incredible. They sold out Twicenham. They like they got like they're just like killing it. Is it the English team? The English team. Yeah, the English team. They're amazing and they've they're just like an inspiration. They're an absolute inspiration And they theyve just changed the face of like women's rugby. When they started out, it wasn't even an option that it could like be a full time job. They would have had to have jobs on the side. it would be a hobby F fucking killing it, it's amazing. Rugby forever. We love Dep horns Deep horns Why does it say deep horns? It might be deep full stop Horns for stop, which still doesn't make it much better Deep horns I don't even know if I want deep anymore. Yeah, I don't think I need deep It's nice, hay. It is nice It's nice to being able to talk about things. like to be able to talk about things properly. but I don't want somebody that's like blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah. That's not what I mean. You know and to have like a fun, engaged, like excitited conversation. but I don't need somebody that's like and then so and so I said in the eighteenth century blah, blah. But I don't want to listen to you. As soon as somebody starts doing that, I shut down. As an act of best, I shut down. Yeah if someone starts talking me about the eighteenth century, I would be like, Man, this guy is so deep. I'd be like, fuck me. Why are we talking about the eighteenth century again? Horns though. Horns Horny. Did't think it was horny? Actual horns A bit naughty maybe. Maybe a bit naughty. Yeah, horns could be a bit naughty. I also but again, I've gone way off this Al also really this is mental. We must have talked about this H of a crush on like Men that were a bit like the devil. Mm Do you know like Daron Brown? We must move on We must move on. No, but you know what I mean Not necessarily I him. I genuinely like darkness, like a sort of like using their powers for good, but there is like a magician. You're saying magician you're saying' magician that's what you're saying. G sayagician saying magician. a rugby No, I want a doctor who plays rugby league on the weekends and can get a rabbit out of for house No rabbits. happppy happy I'd love a happ b. happappy. that's it and they can have it can go up and down but their baseline is Be content with the world Content with their life. Theyay they want to cry But what are we adding to this? So this is the thing. There's still more from your last one. Oh my Godd. Size me Ease me ers like visits Has a good vision. Has good vision No glasses se st Yeah.xcuse me want's the best for me , that's such a low bar, That's such a low bar, but's I think ye, I think you can notice it sometimes that you're like I don't know if you were happy for my happiness there. I don't know if my story in this situation was Have I noticed it? It's like, blindingly obvious that they're not And that's got to go Yeah, yeah. And I think it's often it's almost always like an insecurity. It's like it just goes back to that person of like, o, but what do they think of me if they have but like It's just It's just looking out for it. It can be so hard to notice. I think I find it difficult because I think I genuinely like somethingomething I find really hot is being proud of my partner. I find that so and attractive to be like, God, look can him go? Me too Every's doing again. Yeah You know like I'll be impressed by the most basic thing. Like actually it's actually really kind of embarrassing. I'll be like, You did what c're a toddler or something It really is kind of embarrassing. But like how cool is it to be like to respect your partner and be like, God, that's amazing. And yeah I'm so proud. I love that. So the idea that someomebody wouldn't be proud of you because they're insecure. It's like I'm insecure, but it doesn't impact how I feel about you. I'm wanting you to Achieve whatever you want to achieve unless maybe they were like What they wanted to achieve was being like the hottest man in the entire world. And I'd maybe be like, Okay but why Why do you want to do that? If they wanted to do that, ye Some kind of spk. You don't don't worry about that. I don't need to worry about that. No There's right We don't need to do your day right. If it comes up, we'll do with we'll doal with. it does come out. We're going to address it. But' in that back to then. accepted. So I've met a man who wants to be the hottest man in the world and wants everyone to find him attractive no matter their gender Oh o quickly? Okay just so what do I do about that then? Yes. No, you're right, I don't need to worry about that. Introducing the Total Solutions advantage only from Comcast Business. It's the largest fastest fiber powered network for small business, gig speeds with equipment and security included and a five year price lock. No one does business like Ccast business Which today Get started for sixty dollars a month for twelve months when you add an advanced solution to a qualifying internet package. Limited time offer. restestrictions apply. newew customers only, requires three hundred megab per second internet, securityedge and additionalifying service, one year agreement, paperless billing and autoay with bank account requred. tax and fees extra Is it So yeah, what are you adding to the list Available beeneen burned being b the list. it's a trick? It's the try thing. Yeah ye. being available making an effort consistency . Number one No, I don't need I don't need them. I don't I don't need them to big rugby play. I'm not even botherered about that I think those are really good. I wrote some down somewhere but I am Probably on toilet doors. But no, do I do yeah, I have a few more things. Let's hear them. I can't remember them. This is the problem because I wrote them down old dear, then maybe I didn't even add them to a lsa. They're not going to come true It's basically what I said of yeah, is like really excited for you, has their own stuff and you can like make a life together. I think that was a thing that I was scared of before. It was like somebody being in my space someomebody their energy affecting me. Yeah. And now I just I don't know. I have this like vision of just being able to like board games with a partner with Mabel and like I just like and I hate board games. like I literally hate board games and I cheat like I am not somebody you want to play board games with in any way. I've always hated all this kind of stuff. but I don't know what's happened to me. I've got soft in my old age. like I just like love the idea of I think it's also it's having a child and it's like I've just kind of calmed a bit. like me and maybe they're in like a really great place and I just but I would love to have somebody to kind of have a partner do some of it together would be so nice and to make a little unit. And I think I really was like scared of that And so it's less now about being able to sought out my packages, but you know, that is still It's still on the list. If they did have a printer it wouldd be great. It would lookook, you're not gonna lie. it would be great. But but with a non negotiable. Yeah' being Yeah. plus. A little boner. Yes. Yeah like them snowboarding whatever. like yeah Yeah. But yeah, it's the more it's the littler kind of things that are actually the really big things that make up a life. like what are you actually doing like day to day? what are you L somebody to like have dinner with and like make dinner for each other and like these kind of things. like I'm really excited for that. Oh my God, I'm so proud of you. You have grown so much and you've opened your heart to like ye, the actual possibility of it. My heart is open and I cannot shut it my. ish she could I've lost the keness. Oh God, don't let somebody come and swep me up. This is I need to help. my eye is so open. Oh my gosh Well. Let's manifest this for us and for listeners. Make your list again We must keep checking in with ourselves. our lists have changed, our priorities have changed We have grown. This shows we've grown because our lists have changed. Yeah, and they've become more specific and they're less about horns Yeah. And skis. Not skis. Snowballars as you say sorry. My mistake. My mistake But yeah, I'm gonna we'll write our lists up and ye put them on Patreon or something.