Single Ladies In Your Area
Plosive
Single women throughout history with Dr Kate Lister
In this episode of Single Ladies In Your Area, the hosts welcome sex historian and author Dr. Kate Lister for a fascinating, wide-ranging conversation about the history of the single woman. Moving beyond the typical tropes of dating, the discussion explores how society has historically viewed, stigmatized, and controlled women who exist outside of marriage. Dr. Lister provides insightful context on how the modern ability for women to live independently is a relatively recent development in Western history, noting how legal and financial barriers previously made marriage a necessity for survival. The conversation covers the historical "types" of single women—from the financial requirements of becoming a nun to the vilification of independent women as witches. The hosts and their guest also analyze how cultural media, from Bridget Jones to 90s tabloid culture, has shaped internal narratives of shame around being single. Ultimately, the episode serves as an empowering reflection on the current era, challenging the persistent social pressure to conform to traditional domestic standards and encouraging listeners to find value in their own autonomy rather than seeking validation through impossible, patriarchal benchmarks.
Updated Jun 30, 2026
About This Episode
Joining the podcast this week is writer, podcaster and sex historian Dr Kate Lister! She helps answer questions like: When was the best time in history to be a single woman? Was Queen Elizabeth I really a virgin? And if you were a sex loving single woman in the 19th century, was it easier to just tell people you’re actually married to a ghost?
Dr Kate Lister's new book, Flick, is out now! To get your copy head to drkatelister.com or tune into her podcast, Betwixt The Sheets, for more scandalous stories.
Amy's taking her brand new show Thanks For Having Me on tour around the UK from Feb 2027. Tickets are on sale now, just head to plosive.co.uk.
And Harriet is going on tour with her brand new stand-up show Floozy this autumn. For tickets and dates head over harrietkemsley.com.
We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at singleladiesinyourarea@gmail.com.
Follow Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespod
Produced, recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.
Assistant Producer is Amy Townsend-Lowcock for Plosive.
Artwork by Welcome Studio.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Listen to Single Ladies In Your Area in Podtastic
For listeners, not advertisers
More Episodes
Young love, insecurity and strong male friendships with Jordan Brookes
In this episode of Single Ladies In Your Area, the hosts are joined by comedian Jordan Brookes, who also happens to be one of the host’s housemates. The conversation offers a candid and humorous look into their living dynamic while diving into the complexities of modern dating, male friendships, and personal growth. The hosts explore the nuances of their dating lives, discussing the anxiety surrounding text messaging and the vulnerability inherent in trying to initiate romantic connections. Jordan provides an interesting perspective on these situations, often acting as a sounding board for his housemate's dating dilemmas. A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the topic of male friendships. Jordan reflects on his long-standing, supportive group of friends, highlighting how their dynamic has evolved over fifteen years through shared honesty, emotional literacy, and therapy. They discuss the importance of cultivating deep, non-competitive male relationships that alleviate the pressure often placed on romantic partners to be one’s "everything." Throughout the discussion, the trio balances lighthearted anecdotes about their past experiences—ranging from primary school romances to navigating adulthood—with sincere reflections on self-worth, insecurity, and the importance of healthy communication in all types of relationships.
Attachment theory, the universe and rewriting our lists
In this episode of Single Ladies In Your Area, the hosts dive into the complexities of modern dating, specifically through the lens of attachment theory. By discussing the book Attached, they explore how anxious and avoidant attachment styles often create a frustrating cycle in the dating world. The hosts candidly reflect on their own tendencies to over-invest early on and the difficulty of staying grounded, while humorously debating whether or not to "listen to their Uranus" in accordance with astrological guidance. A central theme of the conversation is the process of rewriting their "dating lists." The hosts move away from superficial requirements, instead prioritizing deeper qualities like kindness, emotional safety, and professional passion. They emphasize the importance of finding a partner who serves as a "secure base"—someone who provides genuine support and consistency rather than chaos. Through personal anecdotes and lighthearted observations about everything from professional comedians to women’s rugby, the hosts share their evolving perspectives on what truly matters in a partner, ultimately advocating for the pursuit of authentic connections while maintaining a sense of self-worth and humor.
Needing emotional intelligence and predicting friends' relationships with Celya AB
In this episode of Single Ladies In Your Area, the hosts welcome their friend, comedian Celya AB, for a deep and philosophical conversation about the realities of navigating the dating scene in their thirties. The trio engages in an open dialogue about the nuances of modern romance, moving past previous heartbreaks, and the necessity of emotional intelligence in potential partners. The discussion explores the challenge of maintaining one’s authentic self while dating, particularly the tendency to adopt a more serious persona to appear appealing or secure. Celya shares her personal journey through a significant breakup, reflecting on the catharsis of allowing oneself to feel raw emotions and the importance of self-reflection. The group touches on the complexities of dating within the comedy circuit, the value of clear communication, and the importance of having partners who are genuinely patient and introspective. By sharing their own experiences with vulnerability, the hosts and their guest encourage listeners to prioritize emotional compatibility and kindness while remaining open to the unexpected nature of personal growth after a relationship ends.
Going to sex therapy whilst single, reconnecting with pleasure and never dating for the plot with Emma-Louise Boynton
In this episode of Single Ladies In Your Area, the hosts sit down with author, journalist, and sex researcher Emma-Louise Boynton to discuss the transformative power of reconnecting with one’s body. Boynton shares her personal journey of attending sex therapy while single, a process that helped her dismantle long-held shame and bridge the gap between her mental well-being and physical pleasure. A central theme of their conversation is the concept of "pleasure beyond the bedroom." Boynton explains how maintaining a pleasure journal—noting simple, non-sexual sensations throughout the day—helped her move away from a mindset of self-criticism and control. The discussion explores the strong link between body image, past eating disorders, and sexual dysfunction, emphasizing that learning to care for the body in daily life is a vital prerequisite for intimacy. The episode also covers the role of mindfulness in combatting the constant pressure of modern productivity, which often acts as an antithesis to pleasure. Boynton offers insights into how simple practices, such as intentional breathing, can help individuals ground themselves in the present moment, ultimately allowing them to move through past negative experiences and foster a more confident, liberated relationship with their own sexuality.
Advice from Joan Rivers, single parenting and learning to read the room with Cally Beaton
In this episode of Single Ladies In Your Area, hosts Harriet and Cally Beaton dive into a candid conversation about career reinvention, the myths of aging, and the power of embracing new challenges. Cally shares her inspiring journey from a successful corporate career and boardroom executive to finding her true calling as a stand-up comedian and author at age forty-five. The discussion centers on the importance of ignoring societal timelines and the limiting beliefs women often place on themselves. Cally recounts a pivotal piece of advice she received from the legendary Joan Rivers, who challenged her to stop viewing her mid-forties as "too late" to start something new. They explore the idea that professional skills are portable and that one’s past experiences—even those from seemingly unrelated fields—provide a unique foundation for future successes. Throughout the episode, the conversation highlights the value of being open to feedback, the normalcy of feeling like an imposter, and the importance of supporting other women in their pursuits. Ultimately, the episode serves as an empowering reminder that personal and professional growth is a lifelong process, encouraging listeners to stop getting in their own way.
Related Podcasts
All podcast names and trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Podcasts listed on Podtastic are publicly available shows distributed via RSS. Podtastic does not endorse nor is endorsed by any podcast or podcast creator listed in this directory.