The Final Cheese Wheel Update

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Start saying yes to more data questions at hex.ai. Hello, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is dating. And I'm joined by two people who, um.. Or dating. Maybe I've dated. You don't know. We don't know. Don't give them fodder. They're like Courtney's in the room just like, what? Um We're talking about dating again. I feel like we've done dating episodes before that you've been on. Yeah, it's always a fun time to talk about it. No drama at all. Nope. Super easy. Yeah. I I noticed in our comments, everybody says that dating is like just easy for them. There's no problems going on. Like it's easy to date. Dates always go well. Yeah. It's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. It's being reciprocated. Why are we even doing this podcast? Yeah, we don't need to do this. The consensus is that dating is easy and successful. Psych Gotcha guys. Gotcha. We're gonna have. Should we just start? We can start and I would like to let the people know today I would be fidgeting with this little string that I found on my bracelet. Okay, for those listening, he's got a string. And I'm a very small string. I have this beaded bracelet, which I'm gonna do everything in my power not to go like this. Uh the whole time. Okay. And now we can begin, okay? And now we start. Okay. Our first story. Comes from Am I Overreacting? This was posted in January of this year. Am I overreacting? He keeps hinting at an unusual kink two weeks in. I just started talking to this guy a few weeks ago and he seems really amazing so far. He's attractive, gives well thought out responses when we're texting, compliments me often, and has generally been great to chat with. Today in a very innocuous way while we were talking about how our separate New Year's Eve plans had gone. He brought up the show Fear Factor. Specifically when people are made to interact with bugs. He asked I was afraid of bugs, and I replied that I'm generally not too scared of them. Then he asked if I would hypothetically participate in a challenge. Where I was asked to squish a bug with my bare hands. I replied that I think it's mean to just kill bugs for no reason. Then he tells me that he finds it really attractive when women aren't afraid to squish bugs. I thought that he meant not being afraid to kill a spider with a newspaper or something, but he kept going. He asked if I'd squish a slug. He stipulated that it wasn't alive to accommodate my desire not to kill bugs with my bare hands. I said that I wouldn't necessarily be afraid to do it, but that I wouldn't particularly want to either or enjoy doing so. Then he asked if we were in a relationship if I'd squish a big bug. Bigger the better. Yeah. How big is that bug? At this point, I was weirded out and asked him if it was a sexual thing, and he said it wasn't. that it was just attractive to see a woman being brave enough to do something like that. I felt tentatively okay with that explanation and steered the conversation away from that after this. So anyway, so the weather. No, let's get back to the big bug, actually. Yeah. No, if the weather's great. Bugs though. Big fat ass bugs that has splattered. Thing is, he's already brought it up again. He brought up that his friend dared him to squish a bug with his hands once, and when I didn't really give that a response, he followed up with Do you wanna hear about the dare? So now I'm weirded out. Even though he assured me it wasn't a sexual thing, I can't help but feel like he brought it up way too many times for it not to be. I really don't want to look it up though. Is this something you'd look past? I don't want to kink shame or anything, but I really have a problem with the idea of crushing bugs. I love animals and hate the idea of squishing bugs for no reason. Even if they're dead. I feel like even if I shut it down completely and we started a relationship, I'd always have it in the back of my mind and look at him a little differently. What if we saw a bug and I wanted to pick it up because it's cute? I'd be worried about what she was thinking. Am I being too sensitive? Is this something worth breaking it off for? What if I see a bug? What if I see a bug? And I pick it up. I guess I can date him. I just hope I never saw a bug ever again. Okay. There is a kink for everything, isn't there? There really is. I've looked this up before, like because remember when um Endgame was coming out and everyone was like, Oh, ant man should just crawl up Thanis' booty hole? And then I was like, Why does everybody want ants in people's booty holes? And I was like, is that a sexual thing? And there's like a sexual thing about bugs crawling into your holes. Into your holes. But this is someone just crushing a bug. Yeah, killing the bug. Yeah. Without bare hands. Crushing it with their bare hands. How do you acquire that kink? What did you see when you were three years old? I know. Maybe it's evolutionary. Oh crush bug. Hot lady kill bug. Hot lady killing. Hot lady kill bug. Big bug lady big bug. This is two weeks in. Yeah, that's intense needs her to squash. I'm thinking, where does this escalate to? Yeah. Because if it's like a year and I'm like, okay, you've been holding on to Fear Factor was a perfect end for him. He's like, Hell yeah, I get to see so many fucking bugs that he was. Yeah. Is this gonna turn darker though? Like if we're starting with bugs, are we gonna go to are we gonna go to Bigger animals? Is it gonna be scary? No, I feel like bugs are so different than insects are so different. Scientists are you listening? Bugs are different. Exocanotin. I I would have to uh I I couldn't do this. I I I I don't like like some bugs do creep me out, but I don't Because ever. No. No, I feel bags. Yeah. Uh there was a huge moth that got into my up my place yesterday. And uh my cat was chasing around. I was like She's gonna eat it, but I feel really bad. Have you ever heard of a Dawson fly? A Dawson fly? Yes. A Shane Dawson fly? Dawson Freak fly? No, they're like these flies are about this big. They're like a foot long. What? Is that a foot? That's a foot, right? No, no, I saw one in person in Texas. It's this big. It's wings are like the back half, they're like this and they have These huge pincers in the front that are like this. They're like overlapping pincers. They're like Big Look at that thing. Look at that thing. We have a picture of a dog. And it is this big, Shane. It's like a foot long. Now would you kill that bug? Imagine a hot babe crushing that with a bag. I this is awful. Yeah. Uh I think that's this is this I'd be out, I think. Oh yeah. Two weeks in, there's n no excuse. So yeah, two weeks in drop in two weeks in. And and you're not kink shaming by being like, Oh, this we're not compatible for me. I got it. And apparently it's not a kink. It's just killing. It's just a lifestyle choice. We know about that. Yeah. Yeah. The southern accent. Same thing. The verdict was not overreacting. Yeah. Comments. Uh, not overreacting, it's not kink shaming to not want to participate in a kink that makes you uncomfortable. Furthermore, it's fine to kink shame when it involves actively harming non-consenting living creatures, in my opinion. Oh Not overreacting, this is a specific fetish called a crush fetish. and is often tied into the giantess fetish. He wants to be bug-sized and have a giant lady squish or eat him. Him insisting it isn't sexual, then continuing to make you discuss it is making you non-consensually engage in his kink, and that is yuck. I love how people just fill in so many gaps. They're like, by the way, so what's actually happening actually is is he wants to be the size of a bug to squish him. He wants to be a bug. Hold on now. Well it be he watched Bug's life when he was three years old and he was like This is my life now. Yeah. Um Someone said in quotations, listen, I'm having a good time with you and I'm enjoying spending time with you, but I am not and will never be interested in squishing bugs. It's cruel and pointless. Oh yeah, say that. We have a little mini update. Uh-uh. How many? It's very tight. We were not dating y'all. This was a Tinder talking stage that I haven't even met. I posted here mainly to see if this was something that someone could let go of instead of being fixated on, but I think most of you are right in saying that he was way too hyper focused on the topic. I texted him and told him that his obsession with talking about crushing bugs was freaking me out and that I didn't want to talk to him anymore. Then blocked. Thanks all. You're doing all this on Tinder on the chat? Yes. The whole lot. Like if you're just if you're just in the talking phase on Tinder. The first thing I'm out. Yeah don't bring up bugs at all. It's like you get a text at one a M and it's like you bugs or I mean you up. It's like if you say the word bug two weeks in, blocks. Yeah, block forever. The bug blocker. Okay. I don't know. This episode of Red Stories is sponsored by Aura Frames. Are you constantly getting flowers for your mom on Mother's Day? Sure, they can be pretty, but you know what's prettier? Pictures of you, you gorgeous gal. That's right, I'm talking to you, Sarah. Plus, you don't wilt after two days. My mom raised me right, just like yours did, Sarah. She was attentive, attended PTA meetings, and even put up with driving me to ballet class. I'm of course talking about your mom, Sarah. I didn't take ballet, I was on TV. 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Terms and conditions apply. Back to the show. Анек сторікам смаш Ред Сторіз із броту Прогресів Іншуренс. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself and see if you're eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies. The process only takes minutes, and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. to the show. It's ten oh one AM on a Monday, all at once. Your sales leader needs to know which deals are at risk. PM wants feature adoption by cohort. And your CFO needs one last graph for the board. Now your data team has to say no to somebody. Hex changes that. Ask any data question in plain English and get an analyst grade response. All backed by your actual business context as defined by your data team. Start saying yes to more data questions at hex.ai. Am I the asshole? This was posted back in uh September of 2022. Good year. It was a great year. No, it wasn't it really is kind of what it was. I had a good year. I joined Smosh this year. Whoa. Then it was a good year. Then it was a good year. Am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend the way she talks about her car is weird and embarrassing? She wants to squish her car. Yeah. I, 25, have been dating my girlfriend, 23, for about nine months now. When she turned 21, her parents gave her a car and she decided to name it Angie. I learned all this on our first date when she said Angie took me here. I thought that was odd, but let it slide. Throughout our relationship, she's always talked about her car as if she's talking about another person. When she got a flat tire on the highway a few months back, she called me and said that Angie's shoe broke and has to get a new one. When she goes to the car wash, she describes it as giving Angie a bath. This all came to a head this weekend when me and my friends went out drinking and my girlfriend offered to be the designated driver. We were out for a couple hours and I admittedly got a bit too drunk. When my girlfriend came to pick us up, she said she's stopping at the gas station first to get Angie something to drink. This is where I may be the asshole. I told her I think it's weird and embarrassing of her to talk about her car like that. It's a machine, not a pet or a kid, and that she should treat it like how a normal person would treat any machine. She got very quiet and refused to say anything for the rest of the drive home. She dropped off my friends and then drove to my apartment. I asked her why we weren't going back to hers, and she said she needed some time to think and told me to get out. She's been radio silent since then, and I'm starting to think I did something wrong. Am I the asshole for what I said? Well I mean He like almost Like he almost said the C slur. Clank or Like he basically said it. If you need to bleep that out, you can bleep that out. I get it. I'm sorry that I use the hard R But like, damn, dude, like be a little come on. He needs a little more whimsy in his life. Yeah. This is just like, okay, it's silly. This is also someone I famously my whole life have like loved naming inanimate objects. Yeah. I think even I think there's power and magic in naming an object. It like it becomes more special and it uh envelops it with power. Uh my Roomba's name is Safira. My lunchbox in high school was named Gregory. I had a rubber chicken named Beckle. Okay. Um Beckle. I had a I had a leg Of a doll that I drew a face on and its name was Justine. That's the one that's she has a Facebook page somewhere out there if you can find it. I love the concept of someone getting a tattoo on their own leg and naming their leg. Their leg. Greg my leg. Yeah. Greg. Giving anything a name kinda does give it some sort of weird it's a weird power it has over us. Even like swords, like I'm sorry, I'm gonna bring it up. Oh true, yeah. Swords have names. Boats have names. Boats ha boats have names. All boats are women. And all boats are women. Sailors and and captains there. Exactly. It's like Um naming there's power in naming things. I'm kind of shocked that They've been dating for nine months. And in that, she's referring to her car as Angie. And she's like, Oh yeah, I'm giving Angie a bath. Like, oh, I'm getting Angie something to drink. And you didn't bring it up like casually, just kind of like, Oh, like, yo, you really refer to your d your car as Angie. Yeah. Just like bring it up casually. And she'd probably just be like, Yeah. It's a funny thing. Yeah, and if you just explain it regular. It'd be fine. But you built it you let that pent up within you and then you got drunk and were an asshole. It's not about that. It's not about that. Some other stuff. And yeah, and he he confronted her and and brought it up and embarrassed her in front of friends. And when she's coming to pick him up. Yeah. Yeah. She's doing an act of service for you. Yeah. I feel like it's very easy for us to like build habits like vocally. this. None of her actions are different than anybody else. It's just how she refers to something. And you get used to that. Um, it's no different than like when you get used to like using slang terms and stuff. Like it's just that's just how spimin. doing it. Um but I am thinking about that um Stephen King book with the evil car. Christine. Actually solid evil car? This guy this guy finds this like old kind of beat up car and it's like oh yeah, I don't know what the deal with this car is and he like kinda falls in love with this car. And then car has a mind of its own. Oh. And it's jealous of his girlfriend. Christine wants a bath. Christine wants a new shoe. Yeah. Uh like it's a Christine. Maybe this person, maybe OP is scared. 'Cause they've thought about that. Kinda like uh Transformers and Bumblebee. Yeah, kinda like Bumblebee. Kinda like Bumblebee. Yeah, maybe Angie's alive. That'd be cool. Yeah. My first car, my Honda Civic when I was when I got it when I was seventeen, uh I named it the Batmobile. Just I couldn't think of a good one, so I was like the Batmobile. It's okay. It's good. It's good. My first car was a burnt orange Pontiac Grand Am GT. And its name was Fang. Oh, that's a good one. That's far better than mine. And my Vespa right now. I drive a Vespa. My Vespa right now's name is Vulcan. Vulcan. That's fun. That's awesome. Okay. Yeah, I have a Camry and her name's Camry Diaz. It's very straightforward. So it's normal. I'm it's not normal, but it's it's not a crazy thing. I don't refer to it all the time. I'm like the difference. I I never did either, so I think I never really And what's it called when you humanize things? Uh Humanizing? Personified. I don't personify it. And I'm like he's going to get a drink or he's going to take a dunk. Sure. That's fine. Yeah. No, that's fine. I seriously don't ever be really weird. Um the verdict was asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously. Comments. I asked Sasha since she's my car and would have a better perspective on this. She said you're the asshole. Sasha also said cars need gas because they're hungry, not thirsty. She thought it was important for everyone to know. Thirty three thousand upvotes. I had more up. Yeah, it's like a milkshake. It's like it's m it's more about the calories than about the quenching. Yeah. Yeah. Someone said, You're the asshole. Geez, just let your girlfriend enjoy her relationship with Angie. Are you jealous? How is she hurting anyone by being a bit silly when referring to her car? Someone else said, You called her weird and embarrassing as she did you and your stupid drunk friends a favor late into the night. You made her feel stupid as fuck because she now knows you've been secretly embarrassed by her for months over a quirk. You're the asshole and probably a single one if you can't turn this around. Oh. Another Oh. Well, she dumped me, she found the post, called me, and told me never to speak to her again. I guess it's for the best, though. We really wouldn't have been that compatible, as many of you have said. Thank you for your judgments. Oh, what a douche. Yeah. Thank you for your judgment. Thank you for your judgments and it's just like posted on Am I the Asshole. Right. Yeah. Sorry, bud. If you walk into a courthouse and be like, Here's my crime, get ready. Yeah it kills me every time when someone posts on Am I the Asshole. And they get the asshole judgment and then they're like mad about it. Yeah, because they wanna get vindicated. Of course. Accept it. Yeah. Anyways. Oh jeez. Oh jeez. Oh This comes from Am I Overreacting? Uh Am I overreacting? For being mad my boyfriend stayed the night at another woman's apartment just because she has a cold or the flu? Mm. I need more information. currently in another state. My boyfriend, a twenty seven year old man, has made friends with my friends, including Stacey, a thirty five year old woman. Last night I got suspicious after this message exchange after sending my boyfriend a funny TikTok video. Uh the boyfriend writes, I love that video. Also, Stacey is really sick with this flu. I'm going to stay the night. She responds, what do you mean? Does she need to go to the hospital? What are her symptoms? He says sneezing, stuffy nose, runny nose, sore throat, cough, etcetera. What's her temperature? Is she sweating? Is she having trouble breathing? Normal temp. She's sweaty from that steam thing and all the layers. No trouble breathing. Babe. No fever? That sounds like it's just a cold. What are you even doing for her? Why do you need to stay over? He says taking care of her, message her or video chat with her since you have so many questions. She responds, I'm going to video chat with her. Talk to you in a bit. Stacey is a young, healthy, and fit woman, so I wouldn't think a cold or the flu would put her in enough danger that she would need someone to stay with her. When Stacey and I video chatted, she actually looked sick. Her nose is red, chapped, and swollen. She was sneezing and sniffling, but she didn't cough once. Her breathing was fine. She looked sweaty but not feverish. She was even smiling. This morning I video chatted my boyfriend and he did indeed stay at Stacy's. Stacey still had her red nose and she was sneezing, but she was walking around in regular pajamas. I feel like I shouldn't even have to tell them how mad this all makes me. Am I overreacting? What the f Fuck no, not overreacting. What is that? What to it sounds like but I'm wondering No, this is one of those where I'm like, I don't even care if you're If I found out, oh no, they didn't cheat, I'd be like, Yeah. But what was that that what the hell though. But go home. So Like, come on. I I hate how he responds, being like, Well, why don't you video chat her if you have so many questions? I'm like, dude, you know at she's in another state and you're staying at someone else's apartment. You know what this looks like. And the way the if you're responding if you know, if you could respond to being like Hey, this is your friend and she's sick. You know, there's no way to like really talk out of it. But it like you come of it that way, where it's like, I'm just trying to help your friend and so it's like, Well if you're Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, it's like I I What you do. Of course my assumption is yeah, something's gonna be a good thing. I need more information. Y I I need more information to know if they're cheating. Maybe I don't think it matters. Yeah, no. It's a logical done. It's like, huh? I need more information into what is he doing? Like what is the thought process? I think it could be it could be Because the hubris of of some people who cheat is just astronomical, right? And it could be like, Oh, well we'll do this so that it kinda covers our tracks. Um and treat it so nonchalantly. Like I think he's really thinking he can get away with gaslighting her. That's in this way. And I feel like this is a pri this is an actually good example of gaslighting. For sure. Why are you freaking out why are you overreacting to it? If someone has the flu also the you should actively probably not necessarily you would drop off a bunch of stuff for them and be like, call me if you need anything. But I don't want to catch the flu. And if they if they need like a bedside assistant, you take them to the hospital. Yes. Yeah. It's severe. She clearly she does not have a fever. She's like, hey can't. Yeah. Yeah. Sean, shut up. I'm on the phone with your girlfriend. No, he wrote normal temperature. She doesn't even have a fever. She's in no danger whatsoever. This is ridiculous. It is absolutely ridiculous. Um and and ridiculous on her friends' part too. Yeah. Like they're both acting like this is chill. That makes me think one hundred percent or something. Yeah. And I don't like to jump to that conclusion too fast, but He's staying at her plot, Jen. Yeah. Comments, not overreacting. That shit is insane to me. Someone said weird behavior. I get a care package or something, but staying overnight for the sniffles, your boyfriend is trying to bang Stacey. And you know what? You don't even have to deliver it. You can Uber Eats deliver it. That's the way you don't even drop it off at the front door. Right there. Leave it door, take picture, done. Someone says makes no sense for him to stay. Very stupid. I would assume they are banging. Oh P said, as soon as I saw no trouble breathing, that's where my mind went. They're not even trying to pretend that she's seriously ill. A head cold has never stopped me from having sex. I wouldn't expect one to stop her. Well, okay. Damn, all right. A head cold has never stopped me from having sex. Hard. Well There's that. Okay. Okay. No no mini update. No mini update. I don't think we need one. I don't need another. We know what's going on. I think we've got all the info. Dang. Our next story. Comes from relationship advice. This was posted in twenty twenty one. January of twenty twenty one. Not a good year. That was not a good year. Not a good year. This is a twenty four year old woman writing in. Is my neighbor, a twenty-seven year old woman, into me, or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she's gay? Okay. Hi all, I can't believe I'm asking for advice from a bunch of strangers on the internet, but I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry for the incoming essay, but I guess I need to give history. I bought my first house in September last year. It was an odd time, but everything just fell into place. It's quite a small village and everyone is really friendly, so I got to know my neighbors soon after moving in. Yes, socially distanced. Then I met my over the road neighbor. Let's call her Elle. I can't describe it, but it's the first time I've ever met someone and been lost for words and my heart was racing and just thought, Oh my God, she can lift things with her mind. It's crazy. I saw her squish a bug with her bare hands. So after I blushed my way through a welcome to the village type convo, we only saw each other for a wave and a hello for a few days. To help kind of settle in, I had my dog B with me for the first few weeks. During this time there was a massive increase in dog thefts in a nearby town, not just from gardens, but literally wrestled away from people. If I'd been working furlough off and on since March, then I would have taken B back to Mom's, but since I was home with her all day, she stayed. So the local police advised us not to walk dogs alone, but we go out twice a day, a ten K run in the morning and a few miles walk in the evening. Obviously this scares me, but at the same time she is honestly a pain in the arse and gets upset if she doesn't go for a run and needs to be tired out, so I'm kind of stuck at this point. Then along comes L. She knocked on the door and offered to come with us as she'd seen B and me in the evenings and everything kind of spiraled from there. I told her about my morning runs, but she didn't really bite, so I thought nothing of it. Then a few days later, I bumped into her on a run, so she started joining us on those two. A few months later, and we are spending more and more time together every day. It has now progressed to a run early morning, afternoon, dinner most evenings, and then the evening walk. It just seemed to happen without me really noticing. I didn't read into things that much as I don't want to get my hopes up and ruin anything until another neighbor commented about how much time we spend together and how it's nice to see you young gals getting on and winked. She actually winked at me. I asked her what she meant, but she just laughed and said, you know what I mean. So now I'm looking back on things and wondering if she could like me too. Here's some reasons why she might like me. How obvious do we think these are gonna be? She kisses me on the mouth and touches my boom. Yeah. She might like me. We're engaged. And we live to Do you think she's gay? Do we think she's gay? Okay, here's some reason she might like me. I went running along the same route at the same time for nearly two weeks before I happened to run into her a few days after I told her this. I make her a coffee every afternoon, El is work from home, and take it over in her favorite mug. She says I make good coffee, but I'm pretty sure I saw a fancy coffee machine the first time I went round. It's not there now? L carried on running and walking with me even after B went home. I told her she was going back to Mom's and she said, Well I'll have to make another excuse to join you. And then we just carried on every day. She has tried really hard to bond with B. B is a very anxious dog and is scared of everyone except me and Mom. Elle boug special treats to give her every day and has been so amazing with her and never tried to force anything. When I asked her, she said it's important to me that she likes me and is comfortable. B actually fell asleep between us on the sofa yesterday and it just makes my heart skip a beat, guys. She invited me to the Zoom quiz she does with her friends every fortnight or so and they were all like, Oh, so this is who we've heard so much about. Oh my gosh. We realized we had become each other's support bubble. Elle asked if I was meeting anyone else, and I said no. She said she was glad she had me all to herself. Okay. Okay. All right. We gave each other quite personal Christmas presents. Like it actually made me tear up. It meant so much to me, and she bought stuff for B. Reasons why she might not like me. All the reasons above, but that she's just doing them because she's a fucking great person and we're friends. Okay. All right. All right, lady. It might sound dumb, but I don't know. I need your help, guys. She is just the most incredible person I've ever met, and I really, really like her, but if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same. I don't want to lose her friendship as she has become such a huge part of my life. I genuinely have no experience with these kinds of things as I went to quite a strict all girls school. So it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen, and then I went to a very small university, eight of us on my course. Golf Course University. Yeah, golf course university. I guess another reason is that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 10 years, as well as my weight and working on my self-confidence. But I can say that right now I am the happiest and healthiest, both mentally and physically, I have ever been. I've only just really become comfortable with the fact that I'm gay and I've never really told anyone in real life. But I don't think people would be too surprised. Uh, I don't have any close friends as no one stuck around when I was really struggling with my mental health a few years ago. So I can't discuss this with anyone in real life. So I need your advice. How do I find out if she's gay? And no, I don't have the confidence to just ask. What if she says no and I ruin everything? She has never mentioned anything about past relationships and I'm pretty tactless, so not sure how I could naturally slip it into the convo. Like, hey, tell me, have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you want one now? LOL. And how can I make a move without really making a move so I don't ruin things? That's the worst position. It's a pretty tough. There's this is layered. So she's never actually came out to anyone in real life. It's so that's tough. Also like Okay, so A lot of comments that I see. Or just I'll see a lot of things that are like Chance always takes the devil's advocate side, blah blah blah blah blah. No, hold on now. There's really important it's called critical thinking number one and critical reading. Who is writing this? Uh-huh. Why are they writing it? And what is their point of view? And what do they have to gain or lose from writing this? Yeah. That is a really important thing to look at, especially in these days on the internet, where it's like, is this true? Where is this coming from? Why is it coming? To me. Why am I being served this and what are they Mm-hmm. So we have to look at the author's point of view. Uh because history is written from the winner's perspective most often, or whoever's writing it down is tell the story. Yeah. Yeah. So there's always things and pieces of information that they can spin or tell us, and we don't often to see the other side of that story. Right. So a lot of times when I'm on here, I'm thinking Why are they saying it this way? What are they trying to do? And are are they telling the truth? Uh most of the time I'm just like, yes, they're telling the truth. But that's a dangerous thing to just assume everyone's always telling the truth. And and and she's telling her truth like her perceived truth. That is exactly the point I'm making. She is telling us all of these things that she's seeing about this amazing I'm saying this from firsthand experience. I have been in her position where I'm like, They have to like me, right? They're doing this, they're doing this, they're doing this. And I will say about this time, twenty twenty one. was our social circles were pretty compact, especially with who we get to see in person every day. True. And I'm saying this because In this same scenario, I had a person that I was like, they have to like me. We are spending breakfast, lunch, dinner together. We are doing every social thing together. They we met each other's parents, like we do all these things. Like I they have to like me. And then They didn't like me. So I'm coming from this, I'm like Oh, you idiot. Of course they do, but she's telling it from how she's seeing it because she has confirmation bias saying it that way. She's also inexperienced in That worked. Yeah. She's twenty she's twenty three. Yes. And then you add on top that she's never actually been in a relationship with someone. And you add COVID on where it's like you're gonna click to one person, two people, three people, and spend all your time with them anyway. It's also a tough thing of like, can s are people allowed to just be really good friends? Like are they allowed to become really without it being like oh well they're clearly into each other. Sometimes when you do cross that boundary. You're across that line. Not I guess it is a boundary. You rub against someone's boundary when you are Trying to push it forward, but it's should be I think it should be allowed to want more from a relationship, but it also can be allowed to sit in a relationship. You don't have to have more or want more. Yeah. Um But I think she loves her. If I had to place a bet, sure, but the but it's high stakes. It is high stakes. And yeah. But also I I would say to OP, like she's putting a lot of pressure on herself. It's like if If your neighbor is gay And she's also into you, like it's also on her to express something too. Um, she's in the same exact position as you are potentially. Okay, so if you're in O P's position, how would you go about broaching this? I am really bad at these types of things, like historically. Um now you add a layer that I can't relate to of of being gay. Right and and being a lesbian, like I don't know what how that goes, but Well, as lesbians. As lesbians. Lesbians. As okay, I okay, I'll tell you my firsthand experience. I tried to do this. And I was thinking about it for months. How do I get past this point? And there's also something beautiful. I'm gonna say it again. There's something beautiful about It doesn't have to be a romantic type of love. You can continue loving this person in a non romantic way. Um, and you can they can sit just like that in your life. But I tried to set up I was thinking about it for a month, I'm an overthinker and I was thinking about it and I was like, I tried to set up like a really Like Organic romantic situation. where I could just kind of like softball pitch. The feelings and be like Would you ever Consider dating like me? Like we're I feel like we do so many things like already dating wise. Um And it So poorly. Really? It went so poorly at first it was just like oh Um I guess I haven't really thought about it. And I I almost felt gas that I was like, there's no way you haven't thought about it. And then it was like it kept go like we kept talking about it. And then that that day was fine. And then the next day it was like Weird, right? It's super weird. It was like they slept on it. And it was super weird. And then it was like It was it was not a denial, but it was like you're you're you're not crazy, but like you've pushed things too far. And I was like, Whoa, whoa. I was just softballing. Nothing was different. Can I ask, was this someone who was saying like they're not into you or that they're not gay? Uh I've had that they're not gay before, but they're not into me. They're just not into you. So this person was gay. This person was gay. They this is a situation where they're just that you thought Yeah. So then how do you gay back and they're just not gay? Yes, I see. So there she has two possibilities. She doesn't know if she likes her and she doesn't know if she's she's gay. So that but but you were in a situation where you knew she was gay, but it were they into you or not. They were. they wanted it. So it's almost interesting that Her neighbor might be gay. And also just might not be not into her just because she's gay doesn't mean two things going on. Yes. And it is scary. It's scary. Um because you can have gay friends. Yeah, absolutely. You're like what? No. I hate you guys. He's like, you think we're friends? Sorry, these past many years I think you've been confused. That's hilarious. Um friends does not win. Yeah. Well that's true. Um wait, did you want to talk about how you would bridge the gap, Tommy? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. I haven't really had a br uh a specific th I've had like little thing. Usually it's just like I'm like, hey, are you gay? And usually they're like no because I think the easier conversation is Are you into me rather than are you gay? A hundred percent. Because what if she's what if this is her one woman she's into and she's and she doesn't identify as gay, but she's into this woman. Cover the gay thing if you say, Are you into me? Yes, I'm into you. Then the game part doesn't matter. The game part of me to matter. That's a way and if you just ass don't assume everyone's straight. all the time then you don't even have to have gay conversation. You guys can just stop assuming everyone is But I mean there's a straight invisibility. Everyone assumes everyone is or a lot of people s assume the default is straight. That's not the default. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That was so progressive of you. Thanks. Wow. Way to go. Yeah. Um Two strings now? They were always two strings chances. The fidget strings are now too. This episode of Road Stories is also sponsored by Rocket Money. Let's face it, finances are stressful no matter who you are. I know I've avoided opening up my banking app just because I was scared to see how much I spent on subscriptions this month. But Rocket Money is here to help relieve that stress. Rocket Money can track and cancel unwanted subscriptions with only a few taps. It has saved $880 million for users so far. And when I cancel my subscription to get my daily dose of big cheese, you can add $60 more dollars to that pile. You're thinking, $60 for cheese? No silly, it's big cheese. But you're also thinking, will the app consolidate checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard? 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Because the AI got lucky. Because it knows your business and its data. Because that's what an AI analytics platform should do. Join data teams from Cursor, Lovable, RAM, AWS, and over 2,000 more at hex.ai. Uh started off by screaming, they said, Ah honestly, judging by what you wrote, I'm pretty sure she's into women and into you, especially considering your neighbors and friends' reactions. I'm a woman loving woman myself, and I know this type of scenario can be so nerve wracking. If that's your style, maybe you could wear some pride accessories around her or mention some LGBTQ movie show. I'm picturing like Target says I'm gay. I said target. Maybe you said exactly what I was thinking. It was like the target target like We're in a fucking rainbow. Isn't it the Target Pride light from like two years ago? 'Cause then they like They stopped. They got scared. Yeah. It was But it was I mean it was it should have stopped. God, I wish I would have got some of it. If you had target Pride Mer. I will give you a PO box. Yeah. Some vintage target. Progressive. Wait. And everyone wanted to stop, but not the way they did. They managed to stop in a way that everybody hated. Okay. I'm laughing at uh I'm gay. Are you like oh sorry, it's my sir Are you do you agree? Um Okay, you could wear some some pride accessories around her, um or mention some LGBTQ plus books. Movies show. That you liked a lot. If it's not too obscure and she's into women, chances are she's seen slash read slash heard of it too, and gauge her reaction. Sorry if this isn't much of a help for you. Either way, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Keep me updated. I love love stories. Do you watch Heated Rivalry? Don't you wish that was two women instead? Do you like Rosie O'Donnell? Not Rosie. OP responded to that saying, I like the suggestion. I feel like I could bring that into conversations fairly naturally. Thanks. My only worry then is if I still don't get a clear response. But I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get into it. When I get to it. Someone else said, why don't you ask if she has any special plans for Valentine's Day and then kinda work your way in from there. It's a super light topic and an easy way to see if there's someone else or she'll suggest you two to hang out. OP says, I mean we are in a country wide lockdown, so I'm not sure what special plans she could have, to be honest. Although I guess I could kind of joke about it. You guys have you ever done Valentine's Day? I've done a Valentine's Day with a friend that I was into, and it is Agony. Oh, that's rough. It's I don't know the situation. Yeah. I know. That's like that's why I'm like that is not a good idea. Because it is gonna be like a friends Valentine's Day thing. Galantine And then she's not even gay, and you're like you splint this whole thing and then you build up this narrative in your events. That's a humiliation ritual on the on the mountain, right there. Hundred percent. Wow. And then you that will v scar you for Valentine's Day for years to come. But do it. But you know what? Go for it, girl. Okay. Date. Little? I really want this to work out. Yeah. Okay I I really want this to work out. Me too. Okay, guys. Thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation, see how she reacts. Hell yeah. Then bring up the neighbors' comments like some of you suggested. Seeing as though the neighbor was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight, otherwise I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens. Eek, if you never hear from me again, I uh assume it went badly, and I'm consoling myself with cake and watching Broke Back Mountain in floods of tears. Okay, so she's gonna go up to her and just be like, Oh What do you think about this carabiner I've got? It's pretty cool, right? Tirl it around. That was awesome. Okay. Update number two. Yes, yes, yes, yes. This is the real update. Please, please. Hi, Reddit. Yes, it's me, the usel. Damn, OP. Hi, Reddit. Yes, it's me, the usel. First off, I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement, and advice, and the undeserved awards. I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment, and that so many of you were rooting for us. So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into Convo like you guys suggested, but honestly, it all went out the window. El was kinda stressed Friday after a shitty work zoom and just needed to vent, so it wasn't the right time to start anything. Though I guess I must have been a bit off thanks to spending all day overthinking things here, as Elle turned up Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out and apologized for ruining dinner. Obviously I said, What are you talking about? You can talk to me about anything. And she said, anything. And I said anything back. And guys, the tension was unreal, staring at each other and hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in. Then there was some loud noise like a car backfiring or something and the moment went. So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me why I was a bit quiet the night before and I said something about overthinking stuff and she said, What stuff? And I don't know, you guys, I wasn't prepared to be put on the spot. My casual gay pop culture references were useless at that moment. My mind just went completely blank and I forgot every single thing you guys suggested. And my heart was pounding and I just blurted out, You know I like you, right? Good. Good. And then. She kissed me. Yes. Kiss. We straight up just snogged in the kitchen and it was fucking great. So snog. Hey, she said ars before. Being lesbians, cool. Being British? No. Not on my watch. I saw the line there. Get your filled match away from me or whatever the hell you're eating. Lesbian's fine, but once you got gravy on shit. So you were right. You were all fucking right. She's gay. She likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly five months. Sigh. We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian. So she'd know for sure maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would have been a good idea. After all. Her friends have been helping her drop hints. She showed me the group chat, and guys, their suggestions range from flirting more to just turning up in a trench coat and nothing else LOL. Also, the winking neighbor has been making comments to her as well. So shout out to her for trying to make this happen, too. So no cake and cry watching Broke Back Mountain, just five months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date like during lockdown. You are right. It's kinda irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday. In fact, we didn't leave the house at all. Nice. Wow. Fuck. Thank you guys for giving me hope even if all your suggestions completely disappeared at that moment. Maybe I'll show her the post later and ask if any of the suggestions would have worked. Oh and then she's like, You're a Reddit? Yeah, she's like I'm out. I'm out of here. Done. Oh That's sweet. I'm glad that ended like that. That was very sweet. Very sweet. Okay, moving on to our next story. Comes from Am I the Asshole. Am I the asshole for buying my girlfriend vanilla shampoo? Is she allergic to vanilla? Yes. You're the asshole. Yeah. Why did you do that? Next story. Moving on. My girlfriend uses a few different types of shampoo and alternates between them. One of them, a vanilla scented one, is my favorite. She asked me to pick up some things for her at the store, and on my way to check out, I saw the vanilla shampoo and grabbed that too. When I got back to her apartment, she started putting away the things I bought. She was confused by the shampoo and asked me why I got it. I said that I saw it and knew she uses that kind and grabbed it for her. She said she wasn't running low on shampoo. I said I know, but it doesn't expire and that one is my favorite. I teasingly said that she should use it if she's planning to wash her hair tonight. She asked what I meant by it being my favorite. I said I like the way it makes her hair smell like cookies. She looked a little weirded out. I asked her if she was okay. She said it was weird that I sexualized her shampoo. I said smelling nice is sexy. I asked if she thinks I'm sexier when I use nice smelling soaps and deodorants. She said, not really, as long as I don't actively smell bad. I said maybe it's different for everyone. She said, honestly, it bothered her that something as mundane as shampoo was sexual to me. She asked me if someone else smelled like vanilla, would I be attractive? To them. I said no that she was misunderstanding me. She asked me to clarify, but I don't think I did a good job. I said I specifically like the smell on her, not other people. She still seemed put out. So I headed home to give her space. Was I an asshole for buying the shampoo and telling her I like when she uses it? To me that's not weird, but maybe that's because I'm a guy. Is there a layer to this I'm not seeing? You getting horned up in the spice aisle, pig. Saffron. Oh. Okay. As we were talking about before, with every Reddit post, it's like all right, we're one side. We're opening the door into a relationship that's probably been going on for a long time. Yes. I feel like Big crazy things happen in relationships and people don't talk about it. And then it's the little tiny thing that happens. Suddenly it blows up, right? There was Lotion Man back in the day. This is now Shampoo Guy. This is similar thing. If it On This is from his perspective. On reading this, it does come across as like, oh, she's finding a reason to be upset to like get out of this. Yeah. But that's what it reads to me. The hunch is if we're gonna try and find the other perspective, is maybe he he's like overly sexualizing her often. That's what it sounds like every single sexual. all of the sexualized insight. And the window into that conversation for her is the shampoo moment. Yeah. And there could be a lot more information on this one. to come. Uh verdict not the asshole. Comments I would have thought it was sexy and cute. You're not the asshole at all. The most romantic thing my husband did for me was buy me a personal pizza with olives on it because I told him I like it, but I but hadn't ordered one in years because I just eat what everyone else likes and they don't like olives. We were talking about something else and I just casually mentioned it as an aside. Three weeks later, I came home and it was sitting on our kitchen island with a heart drawn on the box. It wasn't the pizza, it was confirmation that he was listening to me and not just paying attention to his phone. Being attentive is important. OP said, I thought I was being sexy and cute too. She's my first real relationship. So I acknowledge that I'm inexperienced here, but I thought it was a very innocent way to flirt. It's not like I bought her underwear. Yeah, I'm I I guess we don't get to know how long they've been dating. Either way, if I heard this story, I'm just like, Oh, so you guys wrong this is bad. Yeah. Um 'cause yes, I agree. Like in a normal, healthy relationship. It's This would be normal. Yeah, that would be something. Yeah. And like it's like the whole idea of cologne perfume. It's like it can be it the smell can absolutely be sexy. Like I feel like it's one of the most Like It's common common thing. You're wearing my favorite cologne. Like I'm wearing your favorite like perfume. Like that is y it's interesting. Someone said, not the asshole. What on earth? You did something nice. She should have said thank you. My husband comments if he likes my perfume. She presumably buys the vanilla scented shampoo because she also likes the smell. Making it out like you're some weird freak for also liking the smell is wild. It's like she was looking for something to fight about. OP said, Yeah, I don't get it. Liking certain smells is normal, right? Isn't that the point of scented things and perfume? It's not a creepy thing to like. And see then hearing everyone dogpile and mob mentality, this woman who we didn't get her side of the story exactly at all. Well it's like, Well what did the conversation sound like from her point of view and when else is this happening? Right. Sure. I mean What is he asking of her on a regular basis that might get her to do that? Yeah. I I would say this goes one of two ways for me. It's like either we find out that oh he's been doing a lot like this. Yep. He he's been pushing, like he's been saying do these things, whatever. I'm not of that camp believing that, like, yeah, he said, Oh, use this shampoo tonight, which is like okay, like maybe maybe there's a lot of that going on. What it does also seem is like sh she wants to end this relationship and she's trying to find a way to do it. Yep. Um, so I won't be shocked if we read an update and it's like, oh, she's cheating on me or whatever. Sure. There's that too. Okay. Good. So here we go. All right. I fucked her shampoo. So yesterday my girlfriend didn't like it that I took it upon myself to buy her vanilla shampoo when I was picking some things up for her at the store. We met up at her apartment again this morning for breakfast and I asked if we could talk about our boundaries and expectations because I never want to make her feel uncomfortable. Okay, so I'm uh it's I'm having a hard time believing that. he's in the wrong. She agreed that we should talk. She said that when she visited her family over winter break, she had time to think about our relationship and talk to her parents and sister about me. She said that space and perspective made her realize some things. The first thing she realized is that she isn't happy that we always meet at her apartment. I said I completely understand this and that she is welcome to come hang out at mine. When we first started dating, she didn't want to visit my apartment often because of my four roommates. Things changed and I get that. She still doesn't want to hang out at my apartment because of my four roommates, though. She said that my living situation is too crowded and it bothers her. I asked if she wanted me to move, and she said she would like it if I made a commitment to finding a new living situation by the next semester. Since the next semester is a long way off, this isn't unreasonable. But I was hesitant. I really like my living situation. My friends and I help each other out a lot. I don't necessarily want to live alone, and it is expensive. She can afford to live alone, but I don't necessarily think I could. I explained that I didn't think I could afford it. She suggested I ask my parents for money, which isn't an option. She also pointed out that I have a part-time job, but that doesn't make me enough money to pay for my own apartment. I asked if me spending too much time at her apartment was the only issue because I felt like there was more to the shampoo thing. She said yes, that she didn't like that. She said she didn't like the idea that I'm constantly thinking about having sex with her and that it made her feel disrespected. I said I'm not constantly thinking about having sex with her. I told her it's more that I really like her and sometimes she does things and I think they are sexy, but that doesn't mean I necessarily want to have sex at that moment. It's just my internal monologue going, that was sexy. That wasn't the right way to explain it. She didn't seem to understand where I was coming from. She asked me what was going through my head when I was at the store and if I was thinking about having sex with her. I said I was thinking about the store, the items I needed to buy, inflation, et cetera. And then I saw the shampoo and I thought about how she uses it and it makes her hair hair smell amazing, and I bought it. She asked if I specifically thought about the way her hair smelled the last time we had sex. And I said yes, but it wasn't like I had a full sex fantasy in the store. It was momentary thought. She said that it isn't normal and I might have Tourette's or ADHD or OCD or some other condition that causes intrusive thoughts. Yeah, dude, dude, break up. Just break up, my God. I'm really glad I made the last post because I was worried about what she said, but then I remembered all the commenters that mentioned also feeling the same way about sense. I told her I post about our conversation in an anonymous online forum and several people feel the same way I do about smell. I said I think it is normal to feel that way about sense, but maybe it isn't ubiquitous. She said it isn't normal and I might want to talk to a doctor about potentially having hyper sexuality. Between her not liking my living situation and her uh not liking that I'm attracted to her smell, which is probably my fault because I wasn't doing a good job of explaining things, I realized we just weren't compatible. I told her I thought maybe we had different needs for a relationship and maybe we'd be better off as friends. She said she was disappointed in me, but that she agreed. We hugged it out. I'm a little bummed, but we were only dating for four months thanks for being my normalcy barometer, since I don't have one for relationships yet. Okay, yeah. Jesus Christ. price. Her being like you need to move out. Um, and him being like, I can't afford that. She's like, Ask your parents for money I'm like naive. Like. She is not in the real world yet. Oh just get money. Yeah. What are you doing, stupid idiot? Money. You formats. What the fuck? So some of the things that and you're a doctor? Yeah. She's like, No, it's not normal. She diagnosed him with Tourette's ADHD in hyper sexuality. Right. Holy shit. It's like premed, I know. Yeah, good God. Also four months. That was a that was a fun twist. Telling you to move change your living situation and is diagnosing you with things get out of there. Get out of that ended that way. Um Update number two. I don't know. They broke up. He broke up with her. It's like my new girlfriend's a cookie and she smells amazing all this. I'm dating a cookie. Look, I I won't lie. Sometimes I've seen a cookie, I'll be like, Okay, Shane, we could date. Read the update. But then I eat them. Listen to them. The cookies that have like the circle of frosting on and they're kind of like I feel like they're made of Play Doh. I know it's low key hit. I'm gonna be honest. And I would low key hit the cookie. Okay. Okay. Read the update. The only problem if I bite into a cookie and it is too crunchy, too hard, I'm out. Really? I love like a soft chewy. Meatsil. If they' it soft chewy, guys twenty six. Who likes a hard cookie? Okay, wait, I'll tell you something. I like a hard cookie. No any cookie. Oh I pref crazy. Okay. I prefer oatmeal raisin to chocolate chip cookies. I I don't think that's controversial. Chance me too. I don't think that's controversial. I think an oatmeal raisin cookie is delicious. I actually love so many flavors of cookie. As long as they're they're on the softer side. Okay. A soft oatmeal raisin cookie sugar cookie. No, I love a sugar cookie. A sugar cookie. I don't know if I've had a cookie that I'm like, I don't like that flavor. Sugar is just like sweet. It's delicious. Yeah. And it's got that kinda got that light, light sugary. All right, read the update. Update the time. I broke with my girlfriend three weeks ago and have been on a few dates since then. She texted me a few hours ago asking to give us another shot. Oh. course. No. If it wasn't for all the feedback you guys gave me, I probably would have taken her up on the offer. Keeping in mind what she said about me, I turned her down. She said she noticed some alarming patterns in me and that she might have overreacted. I told her I understand it and that it's okay, but I'm interested in dating some more. She said the grass isn't always greener on the other side and we know we are compatible. I disagreed with her and said we aren't actually compatible because of the housing situation. She said she is willing to give me another shot. And if we work out in six months to a year, we can move in together. I still said no. I definitely would have agreed before I read all your comments. So yeah, thanks again. I have a couple of dates scheduled for this weekend. First and a second. Wish me luck. Damn dude. Okay, okay. You don't gotta go that fast. But Okay. Good for you. We get it. Um not surprised. How many months had it been? They were only dating for four months and now it was been three weeks since they broke up. It's got a it takes half a time. Yeah, that's what Carrie said. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. He's over it. She's just controlling as hell. Yeah. Okay, well good for him. Good for him. Good for him. Yes. Also when he came to the conversation with boundaries, I'm like, Yeah. Yeah man. Boundaries and expectations conversation. I'm I'm in a hundred percent. Okay, our final story comes from Am I Overreacting? Am I overreacting? My girlfriend left me over a cheese wheel. So Uh, some of you watching and listening have maybe heard this story before because uh Angela was on two hot takes and they read this story. Um, and Angela was talking to me yesterday and she's like, I am so curious about your opinion of this story. So I think it's gonna be a wild riot, so buckle up. Um, and shout out to Hot Takes. Marky. For a little bit of context, OP and his girlfriend are Canadian. Um I, a twenty seven year old man and my girlfriend, twenty six year old woman, were saving for a house down payment. I work and she is unemployed. I've saved uh about twenty three thousand USD and she has saved uh roughly three thousand USD. So I feel like I bear the brunt of the financial decision making here. I was doing the Oxford County Cheese Trail and found a vault release. They were selling a 140-pound wheel of 21 year old Cheddar. It was aged using a traditional cloth bound method that's practically extinct here in Canada, and with over twenty-one years it is extremely concentrated. Twenty one year old cheddar often sells for $120 a pound. The farm was selling the entire wheel for $1,500. That's roughly $13,000 USD. If I cut it into two hundred gram wedges and sell it at sixty dollars each, forty five dollars for us, uh I can make Roughly twenty eight thousand dollars USD. When I rolled it into our apartment at first, she was excited. When I started to explain the financials and investment potential, she turned sour. She didn't yell, but expressed she wasn't happy about how I spent my share of our house savings. She is now staying with her parents. I think she's overreacting because she doesn't understand the Canadian housing market. Our savings is not enough for a down payment without a ridiculous mortgage, and we need to take these opportunities. Am I overreacting or am I the only one with ambition in our relationship? Cheese. Cheese. Um, so let me let me re-look at this math. So he bought it for eighteen thousand. He bought it for eighteen thousand and he's hoping he can sell it. He can make thirty eight thousand. So he's hoping he can make twenty thousand dollars. Canadian cash. He's gonna turn this cheese around and make a big buck. Yeah. He he's How big is the wheel? It's it's a hundred and forty pounds. That's like half a guy. Yeah. That's a whole guy. That's a that's a whole depending on the type is a whole guy. Depending on the type of guy. It's a lot of cheese, but now he's got to go about selling all this cheese. And that's tough. Where you're gonna find you gotta find interesting interesting buyers. It's just like gonna make all that back. You're not gonna sell all that product. I've watched Breaking Bad. This stuff isn't easy. And people want meth more than cheese. Yes. People want meth more than cheese. Yes. And that's the takeaway. He's on a corner and he's just got a big wheel of cheese. But like, yeah, okay, do you have cocaine? Yeah. He's got a trench coat, it's really lumpy. He's not in the cheese industry. He seems to have no background in understanding cheese, nor being a salesman that f as far as we know. He he just to he took a huge leap and dropped almost twenty thousand dollars. On cheese. On cheese. No, if I'm her, I'm pissed off. And he he he starts this off by being like, well. I have a majority of the savings. It's like well, not any more. But two, it's like no, that's you guys are share like saving up to buy a house together. Your savings are your savings. Right. Yes. And and he as he addresses the Canadian housing market is awful, really hard to buy a house. He just made it he set them back another year or so probably. He did set them back. He still has He still has five thousand dollars. Smosh Reads Reddit Stories is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. 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So you can still make all the decisions. I mean, but it's like If we're coming to the table as equals and we're putting money for it together, I'm like Well it's His money it's not a joint account. It's sure his savings account. I would say it for me, uh I would think of it more as like a percentage of what your income's. And it's also just like you're a team, so it's like okay, we're pooling our resources. It's also not a great I don't think it's a great indication that he's like, Oh, we're saving up to buy this house together. But he's like, Oh, but I can spend my money, however. It's like you guys are gonna have to change this mindset a little bit like before you go into a house together. Yeah. Because is this house always gonna be his house? Like that resentment builds up. And it's just it's sounding like a red flag in a way. Um but also his impulsiveness to they married? Yeah. Uh um No, they're not married. Does it say how long they've been dating for? It does not say four months. Four months? Uh it does not say how long they've been dating together. But I think it's a huge red the impulsiveness to like drop that amount of. 20,000 cheese. That is a lot of money on. On cheese. On an investment on like, oh I'm gonna, but it's like, okay, you're you're taking on this job. Okay. A full time job. Like how are you gonna find? No. That's a ton. It's just like see you know, it's a v very strange red flag to suddenly see your partner spend all that money on something that doesn't make sense. And I'm not a cheese expert, but I am I'm like aware of like guys, you're not gonna believe this. I'm not a cheese expert. But he's talking about, oh, they're worth $140 uh Uh, they often sell for a hundred twenty dollars a pound. It's like, yeah, yeah, that's best case scenario. Right. Like that's the f it's a fluctuating market, I assume, like anything else. I don't know the cheese market. I don't either. But markets fluctuate. Yeah. I mean like a Pokemon card's worth a thousand dollars, but you put it online and no one's buying the thousand dollar Pokemon card. Yeah. You know this guy had NFTs. Oh, a hundred per I forgot of the NFT. How about that brain blast. Remember the monkey ape thing? That was crazy. Jimmy Than was like Ha ha ha ha. Comments. 200 grams is seven ounces. You could get a maximum of 327 ounce slices out of a 140 pound wheel, assuming zero waste. At $60 each, that would get you $19,200, not $38,000. Your math is totally off for one thing. And I suspect you're going to struggle to find hundreds of customers willing to pay sixty dollars for seven ounces of cheese. So most likely you will lose money from this venture. That said, your money is yours to do what you want with, but if you have a partner you are planning a future with, it's a bad idea to make big decisions like this without wanting it by them first. Exactly. It breeds distrust, resentment, instability, et cetera. You're supposed to discuss things together and make decisions together. That's how partnerships work. In this case, maybe your partner could have checked your math and explained how far off your numbers were and saved you from a costly mistake. His math was really bad. I'm not a good math person, but his math was really bad. Yeah, he should have honestly he could have posted in a different Reddit thread. There's the Reddit thread uh they did the math. Where you can Any sort of math question in there and someone will respond and do the math. Okay. He should have he's the asshole. What is the what is the question? Um OP responded to that guy though, saying, You are dividing the hundred and forty pounds by seven ounces, but you are forgetting that there are sixteen ounces in a pound. So if you divide the hundred and forty by seven. The seven goes into fourteen twice. Okay. The way he said that makes me not want to believe whatever he said. Yeah, I don't know if I'm buying this guy. Someone said you spent eighteen thousand five hundred on cheese with no actual plan on how you're going to recoup that outside of, yeah, I can totally sell this. Incidentally, your math is way off. Selling 317 wedges at six sixty dollars each comes to 19,050, which nets you a whopping $650 for what will surely be weeks of work on the completely off chance you manage to sell everything. Someone else said, Who is going to pay $120 for a pound for cheese that some random person is selling out of their apartment? If I was going to spend that much, I'd want to know that it was stored and handled properly. And actually, do you need a food safety license to do this kind of thing? OP said, one, it's not a commodity, it's a heritage cheese, and the value is determined by the scarcity. You can't get this cheese from a regular retailer. Two, I have my Ontario food handler's certificate. Okay. Someone said after you cut the cheese, how long will the whey fresh? Can you store it appropriately to preserve it for that length of time? OP said the cheese will not spoil. After twenty one years, all the moisture has been replaced by calcium lactate crystals. Once the wax seal is broken, I will be putting it in my chest freezer. Someone said, How did she save $4,000 being unemployed? Unless it was from her unemployment payments. But he never mentioned she was getting paid unemployment. How much does unemployment even pay out total, anyways? Maybe it was birthday slash Christmas money from relatives. If you were to look at it as a percentage saved to money available, or in this case earned, She saved way more than he did. Why was he not contributing his fair share? OP said, she doesn't have any overhead because I pay the bills. Hence why I feel that it is acceptable for me to make financial decisions like investing in high yield assets like the traditional clothbound twenty-one year age Oxford title. Not full government made of the cheese. Oh but I don't care all this math in and out I don't care give a fuck. No, I don't care. He's just being he's a weird old controlling guy who spent all his money on cheese and didn't even do the math right. He's a dumbass. He's a dumbass. Yeah, I thought at first that it was gonna be like oh he bought this Wheel of Cheese for like five hundred bucks. Yeah. Or something. It's like, yeah, but no, you dropped eighteen thousand dollars. If you're dropping If you're dropping near twenty thousand dollars on something with the expectation you're gonna make money, you've been scammed. I think deserves death. We should kill him I'm not like exaggerating. He should be wrapped in a cloth and age. And turned into one million years. To be clear, uh the Redditors who and if a Redditor responds with a detailed math assessment, they're probably right. Uh, you should believe them. Um, and he said you're at most gonna make like six hundred bucks off of this. Like he bought he bought this cheese at market price. He because he did bad math thought that he was getting it at a deal when actually it was sold to him at the price that it's worth. And then he just completely fudged this. I love though, I love when the OP responds to comments. proving them. Oh no. Like I'm like, you posted. On Reddit. Asking for responses and then you're gonna go to war. Yep. I'm like, all right, man. I'm gonna be entertained by it. Yeah. He could have bought like a used car and like flipped it. And made it like a nicer car? That makes slightly more sense than a cheese wheel. But still truly, he would have been better off just investing the money into just an account. Yeah. Like his Oh, you mean not spending the money? Or just not spending your money. You would have so much more money. Yeah. No. Okay. I don't need an update. I do. We need it. What if he got rich? Okay, then I I wouldn't have a rich tea. He literally this guy is a character from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Yes. Like this is Charlie. This is a Charlie move. I have taken some of your feedback into consideration from my last post. For those curious, my girlfriend is no longer in the picture. She cracked due to low risk tolerance. So I've decided to go all in on the business. She cracked you to low risk tolerance. That's Cheese is high risk. I'm gonna say high risk tolerance. I initially tried to return the wheel to the distributor to recoup some capital, thinking they'd have some pity. They were actually considering it until they came out to look at it in my truck. Apparently the minor heat damage I caused to the paraffin wax while trying last week compromised the wheel. which was already non refundable in the first place. Since I'm now stuck with a hundred and forty pound $3,000 asset, I had to pivot to asset protection and keep what I still have. I went out and bought a true TBB two H C 59 inch solid door back bar cooler, a professional digital temperature humidity controller, and industrial humidifier, a vacuum sealer, and ripening mats. Total cost was about $5500. That's all this man blew his money on the cheese. Expensive, yes, but I wasn't going to let a thir $3,000 investment depreciate value. I've started to notice that this is a thing that dudes do. And it's just if they use These certain words they think that they're being smart. It's like no man, it you you spent money on cheese. Cheese. And now a cooler. Now depreciating value. You're talking about the cheese is melting in your truck. You got melted cheese in your inside of a mozzarella stick all over the the back of your truck. Yeah, you stop ass that you have cheap in your truck cheese. Stop it. Whenever a guy comes to you and he's i if you have a cousin Everybody has a cousin who's probably doing this, coming at you with those words. They don't know what they're talking about. They don't know what they're talking about. Okay. So he's now blown all of his money. Uh. The delivery was difficult. My apartment door is narrow, so I had to take the door entirely off the hinges and shimmy the cooler into the living room. I had maybe a millimeter of clearance between the frame and the unit. I was exhausted and excited, so I started researching installation on my phone before putting my front door back on. That's when my landlord walked in. Apparently he believes my door being off the hinges somehow removes my reasonable right to privacy. We already have a strained relationship because of my own use of the unit. He still holds a grudge because I was doing some light metal fabrication with a consumer. plasma cutter in my kitchen a few months ago. What are you doing? What are we doing? What even is a plasma card? Sounds awesome. He's starting to win me over. I'm guys this guy crazy enough. Crazy here is pretty awesome. Just because there's no door and no hinges, he has doesn't have the right to look in my apartment that he owns. He saw the cooler, the vacuum sealer, and the wheel of heritage cheese and started crying about commercial operations and fire hazards. I told him very clearly, the cheese is for personal consumption. There is nothing in my lease that limits how much dairy a tenant can own.