Final Thoughts on Toxic Family Dynamics

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Start saying yes to more data questions at hex.ai. Hello and welcome to Sma Oh my god. That was awesome. Is that a red flag? That was really good. Hello and welcome to Small Street's Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today we are doing red flags. That's right, and I'm joined by two No, I'm joined by one red flag and one green flag. Who's who? Who is who? Trevor and Courtney. Red what? What did you call me? Red flag. I said something else. Don't Shang. My boy, you can't say that. You can't say that, white baby. We have red flags. We have red flags and we have red one standing by and he like flies in. Sorry, sorry. Hi, how's it going? Good, I'm ready to read. Well you're not reading. I'm reading. Well I'm ready to read OP Duffel I'm ready to practice my active listening skills. I I think the red flag episodes are sometimes some of my favorites. And I think it's just a funny energy in the office and in the studio today because we've been like working from home a lot and moving the studio. So like it's just I forgot how to person a little bit. I I I have two. Yeah. Like I was reading a book the other night and I was like oh I really need to read because like I'm not reading Reddit stories so like when I what if when we film the next episode I forgot to read it Bro goes a couple weeks without Reddit stories You get into a flow with reading when you don't read for a while you start reading I'm like I read really slow when I haven't read for a while I gotta like You reading really slow out loud and crazy My boyfriend Imagine if that was how it was Alright so we're gonna read stories They're gonna have possible red flags May some green flags And you guys have red flags and green flags that you can hold up when you feel the sign What if I don't want to? You don't have to. Cool. You can do whatever you want, technically. Green flag, that he's letting you do what you want. Green flag. Yeah. Alright, we're gonna hop into it. Alright. Reader boy. Oh let's see it. Oh, there's breeders and readers. Which one are you? And I've got a lot of books. Okay, here we go. Our first red flag story. This comes from relationship advice. It was posted in July of twenty twenty four. There's a 24 year old woman writing, she goes, My boyfriend, who's 25, told me that snacking on mozzarella cheese balls might be a deal breaker. What should I do? I'm gonna do a I'm gonna do an early flag raise here. Yeah. Snacking on mozzarella cheese balls? Gross. No, no, the red flag is that he's telling her that. Come on, bro. Look, I can get down with a little mozzarella cheese ball, but please continue. Yeah, we're at half mass. I know I know we're in silly territory still, but Oh, all right, we must hear this. Throw away account because my boyfriend knows my personal Reddit account. Red flag? Hey, Reddit. So I'm in a very weird situation and I don't know how to proceed. I'm hoping to get some insight from people who don't know us personally because this is really embarrassing for me. So to preface, I'm a cheese lover. I absolutely adore cheese and it's my favorite snack. My number one cheese has got to be mozzarella. specifically ball shaped mozzarella. The texture and flavor are so good, especially with a little salt sprinkled. I buy those Belgioso packs of mozzarella balls, and they have been my snack of choice since I was a freshman in college. They were easy and convenient to keep in my mini fridge for a quick, cheap, and easy bite. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now and we recently moved in together. He's known about my love for cheese since our first date. He took me to a restaurant and we ordered like three charcuterie boards. Lol. I don't think he knew what he was getting into with my snacking, and he probably didn't expect to see me eat mozzarella balls on the daily. I thought he was fine with it, but now he's making an issue out of it, and I don't know if I should stop. Specific issue is the sh His his sp his specific issue is the shape of the cheese. What I I was thinking a million other things before the shape of the cheese being the issue. He tells me that seeing me eat, you know, ball shaped cheese makes him uncomfortable. He says that it is lewd and that and I quote. Trevor is deflating. It is lewd. It's lewd. Brother, that's a you problem. If you're seeing your girlfriend eat mozzarella cheese balls and you're getting a little bricked up, like that's brother. Okay, oh my God. He says seeing me pop a wet cheese ball in my mouth makes him think of me having another man's balls in my mouth. Yeah. H I was really confused and I told him that I don't think this is that big of a deal and that it's literally cheese, but he told me the imagery still grosses him out. I thought we could work through this, but after a while, he said it might be a deal breaker if I don't stop. What? Afterwards, he left for work. And she's like She's like, Okay, fine, I won't have that. Anyways, I'm gonna eat this banana right now. He's like, No! Is she allowed to wear it? Cleavage around the Like what is happening? I uh Yeah. Uh during the argument he said he doesn't care if I eat mozzarella cheese, but he just wants me to eat it string or shredded instead. I know this is so high maintenance of me, but mozzarella balls are just my favorite snack. texture, the taste, it's just so good. I like shredded cheese and string cheese, but they just aren't the same. I'm thinking I should maybe buy the smaller mozzarella balls that Belgioso sells and hope they won't bother him. But if I feed into this, could it reinforce this mindset he has? I don't know what to do. I want to make him comfortable, but this feels really controlling and unnecessary. Not to mention I don't really want to give up on my favorite snack. He's a great guy, and I know this post isn't doing him justice. But I just want to know if this is a red flag from him or if putting my foot down on this is unreasonable. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads this and offers me some advice. By the way, this is not an ad for Belgioso. Unless Belgioso, you want to hit us up. Can I send it to you? Of like the sizes of Belgioso mozzarella balls? 'Cause like I've 'cause I've seen the big I've seen the biggie? And I've seen the little Yeah, they make the little pearl ones. And those ones they put in like the the sauce. They'll put 'em in like a like an olive oil, like a salted like olive oil type stuff. I won't lie, when I'm at the grocery store, they have those big balls of mozzarella cheese. I imagine biting into them every time. Like an apple? Oh yeah, I love mozzarella cheese. It's so good. But it's basically like it's as not cheese as it gets. You know what I mean? Like it's basically cream. I'm just trying to understand. So how small is this man's ball? Or how small does he think other man's balls are? Does he think there's an average size of balls? I just like if I see my girlfriend eating cheese and my first thought is another man's balls, I think that's a me problem. That's the one going on here. Like sorry, I jumped straight to Cleve. You guys are probably like, Whoa, whoa. But it's like, yeah, what are what is she what It's his brain making it sexual. Yeah. She's eating cheese. He's going, that's another man's balls. Yeah. He's not even thinking of his own balls. He's thinking of other man's balls. Your balls. Yeah, he could be getting horny and being like, mmm, this could be my balls. And it could be like a hot thing for him. I'm just imagining you eating another man's balls. Like, bro. And what and what at what line do we draw at what other balls do we draw the line? Like if we're eating cheese puffs, is he going, damn, th those look like other men's balls to me too. It is a particularly large blueberry. What are we gonna do? What what foods are reminding this man of other men's balls? I know. God forbid she eats a hard boiled egg. I know. Just torment for this man. Uh okay, to be clear, this is a red flag. Yeah. To be clear, this is a red flag. And like just like let's even let's talk about the bare fundamentals of this is you this person is projecting their insecurity onto their partner by being insecure that their partner would do would cheat on them. They're s insinuating that this food is making them think of their partner cheating on them by by by eating this thing, but it's also calling it lewd and calling it sexual. It's like that's commentary on society and how everything women do is somehow sexualized, whether they want it to be or not. the the definition of sexualizing something is something that wasn't intentionally sexual. being made sexual. Like having your daily protein snack. Like gosh dang. Yeah. God forbid a girl just snack on some mozzarella cheese balls. Yeah. Yeah. And to be fair on the packaging, it does say testicle sized. But they call it fun size. They are testicle sized but relillables. I need to try these. Break you the perfect size. Uh no, this is his problem for sure. I feel like he hits on a trifecta of things that are red flags, right? One is any sort of like Commenting or trying control your partner's food or eating habits. Yeah. Also taking away something that is like her favorite thing. Yeah. It's like she's like, this is my comfort thing, this is my favorite thing. And he's like, no, you gotta stop. because of my insecurity. But also it's hitting on the thing that I always think is a huge red flag, which is like When they your partner jumps to Uh oh, you're cheating on me. Or that that reminds me of cheating on me. That To me, in the most of the stories that we read is usually the biggest sign that they might be doing something or having thoughts of their own or whatever. Um obviously we don't know if any of that's True, but it is a red flag in that paid. You should be mindful of this. If this guy is as good of uh if if he is a good guy, like she says, I think if if someone were to look him straight in the eyes and say, every time you see your girlfriend eat mozzarella cheese, you think of another man's balls. inward. Yeah. I think maybe he could fix himself. I think if someone if I was feeling that way and someone pointed that out to me in those words, I think maybe I'd be like, you know what, you're right. That's insane. I hope so. He really does. It feels like, yeah, if this is all that that boils down to, he needs someone to just point out how embarrassing it is. Literally be like calling it a deal breaker? That's easier. That and that I don't like that too. I don't like how one to zero or zero to a hundred he's going with this. Like that's the controlling nature of it. It'd be one thing if he's like, Yeah, I I don't know why I'm having these thoughts of another man's balls in your mouth. But like he could communicate that, I guess, but him being like, No, I'm gonna break up with you. No, and that's like this control dangerous This is dangerous territory where precedents are set and boundaries are ignored and And if that's a deal breaker for him, it's like she's gonna about to run into so many deal breakers with him in the future. I feel like this episode of Bread Stories is sponsored by Zoc Doc. 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Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. to the show. It's ten o one AM on a Monday, all at once. Your sales leader needs to know which deals are at risk. PM wants feature adoption by cohort. And your CFO needs one last graph for the board. Now your data team has to say no to somebody. Hex changes that. Ask any data question in plain English and get an analyst grade response. All backed by your actual business context as defined by your data team. Start saying yes to more data questions at hex.ai. Sexually jealous over a cheese snack, a deal breaker personally. 15,000 up votes. Someone quoted underneath, She was cheating on me with cheese balls, bro. Uh someone said, red flag, he's so weirdly insecure that he's offended by you eating cheese. Real men would pound those suckers back right with you. By the way, what are his thoughts on bananas, popsicles, and corn dogs? God forbid I eat a corn dog. Yeah. Literally. And like what would she what could she do about him then? Like we should be like, hmm, like let's think, let's think. Yeah, yeah, if he's getting getting in on a microphone. Put that taco down. Yeah. Jesus Christ. You better not be holding two large melons in your hand. At the grocery store, do you want a cantaloupe or like a honeydew? No! Okay. Okay, final comment. If you stop eating mozzarella cheese balls to make him comfortable, he's just gonna think good. She'll tolerate that crock of shit. She'll do whatever I tell her. And it will get worse. Stand your ground. If a man wants to lose you over cheese, let him. You'll have won. Yes. I do agree with that. You'll have won. We'll have one. Day Yeah. Cheese. Update cheese. Update cheese. I also feel like I feel like uh as a man, I feel like any men who's dumb enough to come between a woman and cheese like you're you're gonna get you're gonna get You're gonna get broken up with. You simply are fighting a force. Like scientists have studied this and like they're like this is a force stronger than the ocean. Solar waves and shit. They're just like you can't stop this. Damn right. Damn right. Here wait, Shango. There's a little thing in there. Yeah, got it. Okay. Dammit. Do you gonna finish that? Sorry, that was making me think I'm a woman in your notes. You gonna finish that? That's a great statement. Okay. Update. July third, twenty twenty four, two days later. Hey guys, I hope I'm doing this update thing right. I've never made one before, so I'm just trying to copy what other people in the sub have done. Made me want to give anyone who is still interested a little bit of closure. First of all, I wanted to thank you all for your time spent with me. It's honestly a little overwhelm to see how many people took a break from what I assume are very busy lives to give me advice and support. I think it's very beautiful how so many people in so many different places can come together and give some love to people who need it. Secondly, I have a short and savory update. Get it? Because I couldn't leave you guys hanging. The morning after I posted my Hanging like balls. Like like balls. The morning after I posted, me and my boyfriend talked out this entire issue, and he ended up explaining why his mind immediately went to a place of sexualizing something that has no implications. I left this out in my original post because it felt unrelated, even though in hindsight it was obvious. But there was an issue with infidelity in his previous relationship. I didn't know the details of what happened and never tried to bring it up because I didn't want to upset him. That was my mistake, though, because he is still struggling with insecurities and felt unsure if he could tell me about it. Both of us were lacking communication skills, but we ended up clearing the air and I found out both why his last relationship ended and why seeing me eat cheese balls upset him. All I knew previously was that he had a serious with his ex girlfriend, and they broke up because she cheated on him. Now he let me know that he found out about the incident because the person she cheated with sent him a video of her um eating another man's cheese balls. Oh. He told me that he feels like by now he should have gotten over it, but the betrayal stuck with him. The new move in together has started to trigger his unresolved feelings and has given him new anxieties that our relationship might end the same way I think pairing that with the daily visual reminder through the cheese balls was a little too much for him. I know many of you have very strong opinions about him and I'm sorry to disappoint, but I am not ready to let go of this relationship yet. During our conversation, I let him know that I didn't like the direction that he was going with his ultimatum because it felt controlling and I told him I wouldn't tolerate another incident like this in the future. We already decided we would be looking for couples counseling in our area to help us both move on from this incident and generally learn to communicate more openly so that neither of us will bottle up our negative emotions alone. And instead we can help each other overcome these emotions as a unit. Right now, I'm feeling very hopeful, and I think that knowing about his past will leave me better equipped to pave a better future with him. Thank you for all your advice and support. I think that without your perspectives, I might have just given up on my cheese. And the two of us would continue to hide our emotions without realizing that we need to open ourselves up to more communication if we want to stay confident in both ourselves and each other. PS an extra thank you to everyone who gave me recipes and new cheeses to try. Ooh, I think green flag in the effort. Yeah communication. I think that's always huge, and he uh admitted the other possibility that we were considering. I just guess I yeah. Unfortunately it's like Both the saddest and the funniest. Yeah at the same time. I very much empathize getting cheated on that is an awful, awful thing. And Unfortunately, it is kind of funny that It literally like the cheese balls remind like I can you imagine seeing a memory fee. perfectly recreated in front of you, but with other things. And your brain goes, Oh, like that came from a very real place for it. I mean, I I very grateful that I cannot relate to someone like cheated on and s and get like seeing it. Yeah. Like seeing and being sent any sort of footage or photos. I'm like, and I've heard of people experiencing that. And I'm like, that's a nightmare. That's psychological. Psychological. Yeah. Absolutely uh tormenting. So I understand that. And obviously like Something that extreme, like yeah, you you You're gonna need that. And like, yes, he had inner demons from this. Thank God he's telling her. And I'm glad they're going to a couple's counselor together because that's a lot to work through. And clearly if it's bubbling up now, like that is something he has to work through with her. I mean, I'm so proud of her for like Standing strong on like, I'm not tolerating this again and it's controlling. Like that's really important. And like the fact that he's willing to go do counseling with her too. Like this is a it's a I'm hope. I'm optimistic. Oh, for sure. Yeah, 'cause it all comes down to trust and right, and his trust was completely obliterated in Past. Yeah. But he's in a whole new relationship with a whole new person. He's gotta establish new trust with her. Yeah. I feel bad now about what I said about being like, Why would you think of another man's balls when you see the cheese balls? And I'm like, Okay, like you that's that's pretty that's fucked up. He has the one Avenue of okay, that makes sense. It makes sense. No, 'cause there's there is a horrible world where there is a uh a type of boyfriend who was like, This will be my first thing that I do. You know, like the first step in being controlling and and making it a woman's problem and stuff. So like and being on the show we assume the worst sometimes. But Thank goodness. Absolutely. And I think even when it comes from a justified place, it's like, no, you still have your boundary. You cannot like She was right to set her boundaries, and because she set her boundaries. This communication happened, right? Like would it have happened if she just said, Okay, I'll stop. Right now. They had further conversations and she needed to know this about him and he needed to get it out there. And maybe one day he'll enjoy those cheese balls with her. Hey man. Hey. Yeah. I love this show. If everyone in the room will allow me to wax poetic for a second. It Shane, sometimes when I think about the show, it's kind of like your Jesus. And And you're and you're reading us these parables, you know. And it's like, you know, the parables that Jesus was saying were like, you know, the with titles such as The Good Samaritan, you know, and then you're reading us the stories of Hi, my boyfriend can't stop thinking about other men's balls when I eat mozzarella. And you know, it's like, are these stories true? You know, who's to say. Well but is the truth of these stories really is is it more important that these stories actually happened, or does the truth of them lie in the lessons that we can learn? And it's just a really beautiful show that, you know, we can talk about. mozzarella cheese balls and and you know, and and walk away with something. Hey. Hey. Yeah. So thank you, Jesus. Wow. Yeah. You know, I guess I guess what was Jesus but a thirty year old podcaster, right? The masses out there. They're listening. This is the Sermon on the Mount. You are Sermon on the Mount? Am I the asshole? Oh my God. Every Christian listener of the show is like I gotta stop. Now they're going, you know, that's a good You know I never thought about it. Wait a minute. Oh God. Thank you. Thank you, Trevor. Yeah. That's just something I've been thinking about. I like whenever anyone uses the term wax poetic. Yeah. I'm like I I when you said mind if I wax poetic, I just picture you like waxing a car. With a lot of feeling. Mm-hmm. 'Cause I don't know what that means. To speak beautifully for a moment. Going into great detail and you know. Yeah, trying to be a little bit maybe drop some wisdom here. Yeah, well you certainly did. You called me Jesus. Yeah. It's just the most you know the best comparison I can think of. People have said that before. Our next story. Comes from Am I the Asshole, posted in December of 2021. Am I the asshole for quitting without notice over fake job postings? Okay, we have a job red flag story. Okay. As of yesterday, I a thirty one year old woman was the marketing coordinator for a real estate agent. Let's call him John, 39 year old man. He's very successful and recently hired a life coach who gives him weekly goals. Some of them are normal, like read this book on the cyclical nature of the real estate market, but other times it's shit like coach says I should take Friday off because sitting is the new smoking. Best behavior, but harmless enough. However, John's most recent goal caught me totally by surprise. Last week, John said his coach wanted him to develop his leadership skills. I asked what that entailed, and he gave me a new task. Advertise fake job postings, one for every position on our team. John said he wanted plus resumes per day, and he'd interview the good ones. I can't overemphasi this enough. There are no job openings on our team. John's coach apparently thinks interviewing real people for fake jobs will make John a better leader. If someone can connect those dots for me, please do because I don't get it. I asked John if he was serious and pointed out that people are desperate for work right now. His response, Coach says real leaders are always looking for new talent. Reason number one, why I might be the asshole. I couldn't refuse a direct request without getting fired, so I made the job postings, but I didn't list compensation in the hopes that people would see red flags. We got hundreds of resumes and John interviewed dozens of people. I listened in and they sounded like real interviews. At no point did John mention we're not currently hiring. One of the interviewees was a young woman who chatted with me while she was waiting, and she said she's a single mother who had to get a last minute babysitter. So she could make the interview. So not only is she not getting hired for this job, it cost her money to show up. Another was an older man and when I walked him out, he asked Do you think a fossil like me has any shot? I almost burst into tears, but Fury won out. I told him, There is no job. I'm sorry they lied to you. This company thinks nothing of wasting your time. He looked shocked and walked away. Someone must have heard me because I got called into John's office where he proceeded to yell at me. Apparently he's fine with lying to people's faces, but not with people knowing about it. He threatened to fire me and I said to do it because I can't go along with this. You're getting people's hopes up for no reason. John argued that the jobs could be real in the future and it was helping him lead the team. So that made it okay. Reason number two why I might be the asshole. I quit on the spot. No notice. I have a second job, so I'll be okay. But John said to forget about a reference. I've never not given notice before and I feel bad about that. But I just know John would make me keep bringing him resumes until my last day. Oh, okay. This is this this isn't even red. This isn't even red flags. This guy's an asshole. This is awful. How is that even? I I never know about the legality of these types of business practices, but I would hope that's illegal. I think you should only be allowed to bring in like an interviewer if there's a real job opening. Oh you are just wasting these people's time. That's so sad. No, and like especially hearing about the single mother spending the m their money to go to this interview like, oh my gosh, that's so upsetting. Yeah. If you have ever, like, had to like like take a lot of time looking for a job in a really awful job market like the one that we're currently in. It's like every single time, you know, you get through an interview and then there's just it you don't hear anything back. It's demoralizing so hard. And to be doing that, like giving like making someone, yeah. take time out of their day to go do something and give them like, oh my God, like I got this interview in person, I'm going without there even being any chance of them actually getting a job is like evil. Yeah. Not only is her boss uh an asshole, he's also a huge dumbass. Like just like just a dumb guy. Like, I'm sure there's out there there's good life coaches, but I don't know. This this reads to me like a bad manosphere coach that he hired. That's just spouting some bullshit and I'm just like what's happening. Yeah, 'cause it's like I I love the idea of people wanting to work on their leadership skills. Because leadership is a skill. But it's like you're already a leader of a team. Like if you want to improve those skills, maybe like spend more time with the actual employees that you have at the company. And Without creating fake job opportunities for people. Like this uh it's also just like is the coach all of their bosses too? Like I per personally, I don't think OP is the asshole for for quitting. I wish they continue to be an asshole to the boss so that they'd get fired and maybe get severance. Yeah. Because quitting and being fired are very different things. True. But but I mean she just couldn't She she couldn't go along with his horrible practices. I always also laugh at like 'Cause it reminds me of just the manosphere shit of like like what is in their mind a good leader? So I'm like I'm like, oh I'm a good leader. So I'm gonna actually work on having less empathy and less understanding of human beings. I'm like, you don't even understand how another person works. Like. What the hell. Um Just a just a dumbass. Verdict not the asshole. Comments, not the asshole, but report 'em to the board or some agent. This sounds highly illegal or immoral to say the least. John is using his power to steamroll hundreds of people. Ew. Someone else said, Not the asshole. And if they ask why you do not have a reference or why you left your old job, tell them the truth. I would hire you in a second just based on this incident. Someone said not the asshole. Hopefully John's life coach has experience in helping people apply for unemployment benefits. I think John is gonna need it. Someone said not the asshole, your notice period was exactly as real as those job openings. And hey, having to scramble to cover your spot will teach him flexibility and gumption. Making him a better leader. Good on you for sticking to your ethics. Yeah. That is such like a that's such an awful story to hear. Like it's just so sad. Yeah. Like there's so many people, like normal people, that are just trying to get a job and like live that are being affected by it. And like I would hope that this is something that is an isolated incident. But Who knows what other like kind of awful business practices are going on. Yeah. It's especially when the current era, 'cause I've been so lucky to this job for so long, but like I I see comments and I see discussions of people talking about How hard it is to get a job right now. Like people are sending out like just an absurd amount of resumes out there and not hearing back. And especially now with like with the way the internet works and with AI now involved with bullshit like it's so hard. Get face to face time and get this close to getting a job. Yeah. Like this guy is evil for doing it. But yeah. No update. No update. Well she quit. She quit. She left. Yeah. I hope that I hope other employees caught on. I hope this was back in 2021. I hope this guy's out of a job now, but Friday's uh sitting is the new smoking. Insane. Go play the Sims and do that in the Sims. Don't do this with real people. I was just like, come on. Do it in VR chat. I don't know. Guys, don't go on VR chat. Don't do it. There's never a reason to go on VR chat. Oh my God. Anyways. All right. Moving on. Our next one comes from relationship advice. It's posted in October of 2021. Smash Reed's Red Stories is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself and see if you're eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies. The process only takes minutes, and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. to the show. Any team that's teste AI tools for data has seen the pattern already. AI gives a different number than your BI tool. Metrics don't match across. And inevitably. Users lose trust. It turns out, turning on AI is easy. But making it work on data is not. Hex AI was built to solve this. The key is nailing context. is built to unify and curate your data context for agents. Data teams can observe, govern, and continuously improve every AI answer. So answers get smarter the more your team asks. The result? Your entire organization asks data questions in natural language and trusts the answers. Because the AI got lucky. Because it knows your business and its data. Because that's what an AI analytics platform should do. Join data teams from Cursor, Lovable, RAMP, AWS, and over 2,000 more at hex.ai. Girlfriend, 23, snooped through my male, 22 Reddit account and threatened to break up if I didn't change the advice I give out. I think Reddit just ruined my relationship. Let's go. That's awesome. Oh my God. Dude. Okay. I I this this reminds me of like a thing that I feel like you and I have talked about a few times. That maybe we'll come back to it. Throw away account because my primary account is compromised. We have been dating since we were It's been compromised. Throw away account, obviously. We have been dating since we were 19, and I love her a lot. She is overall a pretty awesome person and the dynamic of our relationship is great. We rarely use each other's phones, but also don't mind when we do. Today she just picked my phone up and started using it. She asked me what Reddit was, and I gave her a rundown of Reddit and how it works. Once I told her about this subreddit and similar ones, she was keen to know the advice I give to strangers on the internet because she thought of asking strangers for advice as a funny concept. She read through most of my comments and used my phone for two hours and was very upset at the end. I asked her what's up and she went ballistic on me saying I give horrible advice and that I should be ashamed. I was obviously confused because I only say stuff I would do and all my advice is in good faith. She said that most of my advice is about breaking up and don't consider biases that the OP might have made in the original post. Well he sounds like a red. Yeah. People do be commenting to break up. I usually break up. Break up breakup. Are those mozzarella? One of the posts she was upset about was of a dude that dumped his girlfriend of nine years because she cheated on him at the start and lied about it or something. My advice was that he should dump the cheater because cheaters don't change and that lying is much worse than cheating. When my girlfriend told me my advice was not good and not true, I asked her if she is a cheater because she clearly is trying to defend one. She said, What if she was one? and I told her we'd be done. This upset her even more, and my dumb ass asked her, Are you a cheater? in an asking slash implying tone. That's my bad, and I apologize since that's not what I was trying to say. We talked about other advice I gave out, and with each and every one, she got madder at me. To her, she thought I was a different person and doesn't think as I do about relationships. In my opinion, I have done nothing wrong. I say everything I mean and would probably do that in real life. She said that I need to get a better perspective about relationships and change the kind of advice I give out, otherwise we won't work out. I told her that she threatening me with a breakup for a change in behavior is manipulative. And she already read the advice I gave to one OP in the same circumstance. This truly pissed her off, and she left saying, I need time to think about what I just said. I know this post is stupid, but who else to ask for help with Reddit ruining my relationship other than Reddit? This is mostly a rant with some advice seeking. Edit number one, I will show her this post once we make up. All to show her I'm not the only one that takes infidelity and similar acts so seriously and consider them instant dump worthy. Edit number two, I have been trying to reach her, but she isn't responding, probably ignoring me, so I just shot her a text that I'm done with her. And now there is no point in contacting me. Since she can't even speak to me, I won't beg her to come back. This is not a rom com. In our last interaction, she raised several red flags. So I felt it was only fair to move on from this relationship. To be honest, if I was not the OP but a normal commenter, I would advise to break up. So that's what I'm doing. I'm not perfect, but I'm also not a hypocrite. Guess I'm single now with a peace emoji. It's like lost my flag. Yeah, the last part like all right. Can I jump it? Yeah, sure, sure. I think it's It's so interesting because we have talked about where a partner sees their Boyfriend or girlfriend's Reddit account, and they see how they behave online and how it's not what they expected. I think it is so jarring to see. um internet behavior and then connect it to a real life person. Cause we're so used to scrolling and it's just strangers. We're like this person who's saying I would hire you in a second could be a 13 year old. Like we we don't know and we see these comments all the time that are ignorance. every day, but we don't connect it with a real life person in our life. And so it's obviously really drawing for her. And like I'm glad that nobody's like really rubbing up against the fact that she went through his phone because like with Reddit, you can kinda go to an account and see every comment they've ever left. Yeah. Um, but I think it's just jarring things and like, Oh, that's a real person that I am close with not talking like that. Yeah, 'cause what I I think what I've said to you is I'm like, it's kind of crazy that For most people in the world there are two people. and there's who they are in real life and then who they are on the internet. Cause you see so many accounts on Reddit and I'd say especially with Reddit where it's all anonymous of them like Who are these people? Yeah. Do they Do they believe what they're saying here? There's probably I guarantee you. With the way humans work, there are so many comments we've read where people are like, cheating is wrong, you should break up with them. And those are left by cheaters. Yeah. Like that that you just you don't know who these people are. And that's the weird thing with as people point out all the time they're like, Oh, that story's probably fake. I'm like, We don't know anything. It's gonna be written by a twelve year old. That that marriage advice you're getting could be from Anyone. We don't know. Um but it's gotta be jarring to because there uh there was a story I read where a woman found out that her husband Who she was like, he's a great guy, he's so sweet, but uh his Reddit account, he just comments horribly misogynistic shit on posts all the time. And it's just like who is this guy? It's like that's that is who he is, but it's like weird where the internet gives people permission in weird ways. The internet um anyways, I think this Converse this this story brings up a lot of like around the story, but Yeah I think like for me, I think that this is a a a I want to say it's a red flag um and I think that a lot of Reddit is prone to it, especially with a lot of stories that we read. But people living in a fully like everything is black and white. There is right and wrong. If someone has cheated in the past, they are a cheater. If someone is a cheater, they deserve to be broken up with. Like I I think that It's very easy for people online to read a story that is coming from one perspective and has bias and be like, Okay, this is what's right in this situation. This person's right and this person's wrong. And I think like there's so much nuance that you can't capture Um in a Reddit story and so much nuance that is completely lost on commenters. And I don't know, honestly with a story like this, I'm like and for me to make a for me to make an opinion, I'm like, I gotta read everything this guy's ever said. Every piece of advice he's ever said. But it yeah, because it felt like he cherry picked like the most blatantly obvious where I'm like, okay, but I'm like, what else was going on in this? Truly, it's like also interesting that You know, he had to start a new account so we can't go see what he was talking about. I also like I think it's so interesting how she was like, You need to change how you give advice. It's like, No, it sounds like he needs to she's asking him to change his morals. Like 'cause it's not like that's like a different guy. posting those things. This is his guy. This guy's it up immediately. To his credit, he he immediately is like I believe that. Like he doesn't deny like that or Yeah. It's just so interesting to hear to hear it worded like that. I don't know. Yeah. And for him to just like, you know, be like, Oh, she like didn't text back. So she obviously like isn't gonna give me the time of day. And everybody that commented on this was like she's probably a cheater and is breaking up. It's like You were living in such like I feel like a distorted reality of it you have to at least give her a chance to like if she ghosts you and doesn't say anything for a week, then it's like okay, yeah, like I I could see that, but I I feel like to live in this world of I'm right, you're wrong, you're wrong, I like whatever it is is just it's it's really damaging and I don't think it it um you know is conducive to healthy relationships. I think that there is a lot more talking. and figuring out that needs to be done. I agree with that. And I think Yeah. I think it's very convenient. I think the black and white thinking, especially with the internet and especially with I think in our world today where we feel so little control over anything, it's comforting to go like, that's a bad person. I'm f I get to file you into the bad person box and I get to be the good person. I think it's algorithmic thinking. Yeah. And we are using apps that are run by algorithms and it has affected how we think and we now think algorithmically of categorizing things and putting things into boxes and going I'm read I've read the story. I know you, I know your relationship breakup, that's the answer. It's like sometimes the answers are complicated. Um people who listen to the show know like how I feel about cheating and that I've been cheated on. Does that mean that if someone I'm talking to goes, Oh, I don't know if if someone cheated on me, if that's a deal breaker, do I immediately go, then you're a cheater? Like I'm like no, like people are complicated and It's more a matter of like trust. It's not a matter of like good and bad. It's a matter of like what I think works and doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah. Like the the the first story. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I feel like with how long Reddit has existed, there's the they uh it's just the these heuristics have been formed of like if someone says this thing, that makes them this. Uh if if they s speak like this, this is what they believe and that makes them this type of person and that's always the case. It's it's the jumping to character Assumptions with things that always frustrates me with Reddit, right? 'Cause it's going, oh that that act, what you did was wrong. Like that's hurtful. I'm like, yes, I agree with that. But it's like, therefore, that's who this person is through and through. And I'm like, Well, we don't know that. Yeah, like there's a difference between it's like, Shane, you're being a bitch, or Shane, you're a bitch. Like I'm a man of multitudes. A bad bitch. Like you're acting like a bitch is different than Shane, you are a full on 100% of the time banned. Sorry. I've said this before, but like the thing that I that frustrates me, and I see it in our comments, is like I don't have a problem if I say something go, Oh, I disagree with what Shane said there. I go, Yeah, I um even in rewatching it maybe disagree with what I said. What what frustrates me is when they go, Shane said this and therefore he must be a really bad friend or Shane clearly is this type of person. I'm like Wow, whoa, like a person I don't know and have never seen, like that that's where I'm like, let's be careful there. Based on the context of this story, it sounds like he is the type of person to be like that. Yes. It sounds like he is doing those things of like making very harsh and concise judgments. based on the three paragraphs of text that he's read from the person's perspective. And to be clear. As well. Uh If if like him talking to his partner and he goes, Oh, this this guy got cheated on and she lied and tried to hide the cheating. Like And she goes, I don't think that's a problem. I'd be like, that is a red flag, isn't it? I'm not saying she is in here. I'm like what she displayed was a red flag also. We're just ign we're just observing it. He was like, I might have been an asshole for going, Are you a cheater? But it's like that's kinda where the conversation was going and she was actively antagonizing him in that moment. I think he was permitted to ask that question. Yeah. Um So like I do give him that. But yeah, there there it was a lot. There was a lot of the things that I'm gonna do. It was more it was more the tone there at the end that I was observing. Like everything that actually happened, I don't necessarily have a problem with of him being like, Oh, like I think cheating is wrong. And she goes, Oh, I don't think cheating is wrong. He goes, Are you a cheater? And she goes What if I am? I'd be like Right. Like that's one. And and and for me, it's like not about of you're a bad person. It's like, do you have trust for this person now? You don't have trust in the relationship doesn't work. Yeah. Um I Only thing I will criticize them for is I'm like, you went to the place where you frequent of people that you know are like minded to you to get advice. Yeah. Maybe go to someone in real life to if you're having real relationship advice that like you know the response. I also like if we had the opportunity to read every comment that each person in our lives has ever left, I think we all would have a lot of shattering experience of woa. Yeah. Um So Uh the comments. Someone said, so as an avid advisor on this sub, what advice would you give yourself? OP said, this is funny, I feel bad for laughing. My advice would be something I have given out many, many times. Looks like this would be the hill I die on. Um, someone said it's a possibility for people to change, but it's also very hard to get trust back that is taken away. People try to go to counseling and try to work out the relationship, but that trust is never going to go back. You can build on new trust, but there's always going to be a lingering feeling. You have no problem giving it to her because you know yourself and you didn't do anything wrong. She took things way out of proportion. Once you're done healing, I hope you find someone that you can trust and speak your mind with that holds no judgment. It's really hard to find, but just stick it out. You have to you have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck. Someone said a couple years ago my husband borrowed my laptop while I was logged into Reddit and had left uh the page open. He read through a bit of my comment history, which actually really freaked me out when he told me, but his comment was that it was comforting to know that I sounded like exactly the same person on the internet as I am in his life. And then I didn't have some secret dark side or inner troll. Oh, the point being, I agree with you. If OP genuinely feels like he is the same person on Reddit that he is in real life, something is off in terms of their communication with or perception of each other. Yeah, I would say like it I'm a little shocked they haven't had any sort of convo of like what's a deal breaker as far as infidelity goes. Like not that that's like a obvious conversation for people, but I'm just like That was a big topic that they had never broached. And she had an extreme take and he had an extreme. How long were they together for? Like four years. Yeah. They were on polar opposite sides of this view. And it's like, Yeah, that doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah, not to be a Redditor, but I feel like No, I mean it's It is like her her her response to the the question and topic of cheating is like I would I would feel equally as uncomfortable. Yeah. I'd be like that is not how I would want someone to respond. I don't want any people anybody listening to this to think that I'm saying what she said was fine. Like no. Doing the show and reading so many Reddit stories This story was interesting. Cause it felt meta in a way. Yeah, I was gonna say it feels like the whole time I was talking about it, I was like, I don't even think I was actually talking about this story. I think I was just talking about Reddit as a whole. And like people like there is it is possible for uh two people to be both right and wrong in the same story. Yeah Everyone sucks. And in the end Everyone sucks. Yeah. Everyone sucks mozzarella balls. Double reflects. Our next story. Comes from Am I the Asshole, posted in uh May of twenty twenty one? Am I the asshole for refusing to get rid of a painting my friend made me? My best friend and I, 23 year old women, met doing art at uni and since then have always had a tradition of giving each other homemade gifts, varying in levels from absolutely awful but well loved, to genuinely time consuming pieces of art. They have always been a bit on the nose, collages of drunken misdeeds and dodgy shaped pottery, et cetera. Everyone I'm close to is well aware of this tradition, and we all tend to get a laugh out of it. This year she gifted me a canvas, A4 ish size painting of me standing beside a male celebrity that we both like. I absolutely loved it and sent pictures to one of our group chats where everyone laughed at how cringe but genuinely lovely of a gift it was. Straight afterwards, I got a text from my boyfriend at two years telling me that he was pissed off and upset at how insulting it was for me to be displaying that in my flat when he would be coming over. It really upset me, but I stood my ground and told him that it was my flat, and this was a genuinely time consuming piece of art that my friend had put time and effort into. So I would not be getting rid of it just because it made him insecure. I know there wasn't any malice on my friend's part in gifting it to me. She like me genuinely wouldn't have considered something like that would be upsetting. My boyfriend lives in a house with roommates where they have posters of women on the walls, and I don't really see the difference, but now I'm beginning to doubt myself. I won't get rid of the. I broke the flag. I broke the flag. I waved it too hard. Too red of a flag. Oh no. I'm beginning to doubt myself, I won't get rid of it like he wants me to, but should I be more sympathetic and hide it from him? Thank you so much for all the advice. Since people have asked, it's a very PG painting. The celeb's chest up with an arm around me. I think she took reference from a meet and greet with him and a fan and just replaced the fan with me. Oh, see, I thought it was gonna be a painting of of like her in the Grinch. And the Grinch's balls are in her mouth. Now that would be funny. Now that would be funny. I want one of those, but me Smosh Reed's Reddit Stories is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself and see if you're eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies. The process only takes minutes, and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. to the show. Any team that's teste AI tools for data has seen the pattern already. AI gives a different number than your BI tool. Metrics don't match across. And inevitably. Users lose trust. It turns out, turning on AI is easy. But making it work on data is not. Hex AI was built to solve this. The key is nailing context. is built to unify and curate your data context for agents. Data teams can observe, govern, and continuously improve every AI answer. So answers get smarter the more your team asks. The result? Your entire organization asks data questions in natural language and trusts the answers. Because the AI got lucky. Because it knows your business and its data. Because that's what an AI analytics platform should do. Join data teams from Cursor, Lovable, RAMP, AWS, and over 2,000 more at hex.ai. Sorry, it was like Sorry. That's a good stuff. I'm just picturing like imagine like your your girlfriend is drawing something and it's like them and they're like, oh that's so nice. And then you start seeing them drawing another guy and like no no It's not real. It's not real. Come on, bro. Okay. Um, yeah, this is a red flag on the boyfriend. Yeah. Oh the liberties. Yeah. Is it called? Okay, guesses. I would guess like uh let's see, this is posted twenty twenty one. And they're twenty three year olds. They're twenty three and twenty twenty one. Could be like Harry Styles. Could be a styles. I think a Pattinson or or a Styles, because if they're at Uni, they're calling it at Uni, they're probably Ooh they're British. Yeah, or from the UK. Chris Evans? Yeah, it could be it could be it could be Chris Evans. It could be. There's no way it's like a Timmy C. But if it was like that. It doesn't feel like a Timmy C. Liam Neeson would be like Tim C. Nah, no. I'm I'm going to You're going Grinch with balls in your mouth. We don't know. No. No, that's funny. No. Green screen. To all our fan art friends. Don't. Dor. Or don't I do fan art of Shane. I'm like P.O.B. Dang it, why'd I have to get cast in the Grinch Balls episode? Daring Balls Reddit stories. Please Alright, what's the internet saying? Okay. Uh okay. He's looking at pictures of Grinch's balls. Uh comments. Disposal services, I'd like to arrange a pickup. Yes, the whole man. Nice Zinger. Someone said my mom has a full room of shitty portraits of various male hunks that I did for her during my teenage. I'ma be an artist phase. My father never batted an eye. This room is now unofficially his office. Someone said not the asshole and this is a huge red flag. It makes no sense for him to be pissed off or insecure about a painting. He wants you to get rid of something that your friend lovingly made for you, and he's making you doubt yourself. Yeah, not only is it not something like she made herself, it's like a friend made this. It's like a gift. So it's like come on. Dude, it's the it's the sweater curse. Remember the like when someone is a sweater, it affects somebody. Somebody gets affect it. Someone. Someone, yeah, you're right. Let's shed some light on the fact that the the guy has a house that has sexy women on posters in their place. There is a serious issue if if you have this level of jealousy over What is just a f gift and is a fictional Yeah. Right. God forbid she actually went to a meet and greet and got a pick. Yeah. I think that there is some nuance to the like celebrity crush thing. And I can understand how like some people could be insecure about like if someone was like way over the top and constantly being like, Oh my God, I love that they're so high like constantly talking. If this is a little portrait that your friend drew and it's like a little inside joke between two of you or whatever, just someone that you like, like where is the harm? There is healthy amounts of it. It kinda falls into it's it's a no this is a different category. I was gonna say there was the one where the guy was like mad that his girlfriend was reading like spicy books. Right. And it's just kinda like, hey man, there's a realm of fiction. And I think a lot of celebrity crushes fall into the l like r realm of fiction. Yeah, one hundred percent. Right where it's like, Oh, this isn't a real thing. I just like this idea of a thing and it's just a fun whatever. Yeah. One hundred percent. No, and it's still like the fact that they that h that wherever he lives with his guy roommates, they have pictures of women up all over the place. They're living in the eighties. I know, I literally am picturing like the eighties high the high waist-y, like muscly tan girls. I feel like you would have that poster. I do. No you don't. It's just not up right now. How in a room you don't know about, bro. What I do have that one painting that's like sexy legs. Yeah. That's like a very artsy that's not So It's the same. It's like but see you know what I'm saying? I know. Like it is it's not sexual, but it is. I've got it's a little cat and he's got a little cowboy hat on. And then a little gun. Like a little kitten with a little cowboy. It's like a little cowboy cat. That's awesome. I I I think what I'm trying to say is it's like It's all harmless. Right. So like if he he should not see the harm in it if he doesn't see the harm in his own. Absolutely. Whoa. They could they painted the bottom half of the painting and they're naked in the bottom half of the painting. Vital guess is for celebrities. It's a celebrity man popular in twenty twenty one. Robert Downey Jr. That's a good guess. I I think I feel like RP, I think Robert Pattinson was a good that was a good guess. Okay. I feel like I've I've seen the photo, so I don't For those interested, we have split up. Oh I know it seems like it's over something so trivial it's laughable, but I tried to have a civil conversation and explained that I wasn't willing to compromise on this. He got physically imposing and called me and my friend, which was truly the last straw. Various vulgarities, which was very out of character, but enough of a raging red flag for me to get the fuck out. He didn't even try to explain rationally why it made him upset, just that he was upset I hadn't thrown it away. Upon recollection, he probably was looking for an excuse to break up, at least I'm hoping so, or I really did waste two years of my life hung up on somebody genuinely threatened by an oil painting. his hill and died a really embarrassing death on it. I've contacted his mom to make sure he's okay, booked a drinks night with my best friend, and I will now officially be telling everybody that Sebastian Stan ended my last relationship. Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice. You were all lovely. Whoa, Sebastian's a good one. That's a good one. The winter soldier wiggle. Oh bro. Winter soldier Sebastian Stan. Oh my god. Yeah, but like with the wig though? No, not the greasy without I can't do the greasy wig. I don't know. I need the haircut. Whatever one you got a haircut in. Good pick though. A pick we respect. Yeah, I mean uh his response Absolutely. I know we just before said, like, hey, like, not everything is breakup worthy, but like, no, this this this She tried to talk to him and he gave her hi her res his response. He did his big one. I I will also point out something that I feel like is commented a lot that I think of as is like, oh, he he yelled out these vulgarities, which is very out of character for him. It's like actually I think you just got to finally see his character. Unlocked character. Yeah. Yeah. Like no, that's his character. You're like unlocking a skill tree in life and it's like, ooh, I'm gonna choose the calling people vulgarities one. That's my next level up. Yeah. Love that tree. Yeah. Or like the star constellation in in in the abusive North. What kind of build are you doing this run? Still. Narcissist. Narcissist is crazy. Oh my God. It's like, oh crazy. Anyways, I think I'm gonna do uh Barbarian. Barbarian cheater. Barbarian Cheater. I was just thinking about doing like a mage, but uh normal predator. Oh yeah. What are you playing as? Oh so I'm an Argonian cheater right now. Alright, we're having fun here. All right, it's time for our final story. And this comes from the subreddit Two Hot Takes. Shout out to Morgan over at Two Hot Takes, man. Good subreddit. People submit some good shit over there. Like this one. Mother in law thinks I am a witch because I dressed up as one for Halloween. If it's one episode of Buffy. Yeah, it is. Oh yeah. Yeah. And that buffy anyway. For the few buffy fans out there. Any buffy. Few, bro. Grow up. It's a lot more than a few. Grow up. That show came up before you were born. Yeah? So what? So did a lot of great people. To be fair, I was also like five years old when it started. So it's not like I was watching it either. I married my husband about a year ago and we've been together for about three. I don't know his parents all too well, mainly because he had made a point to keep a fair amount of distance from them. During all the wedding planning and events, I thought it would be nice to be closer with them, especially as both of my parents had passed away several years ago. I encourage my husband to build more of a relationship with them. However, around the time of the wedding, I started to see a bunch of red flags. I generally chalked them up to wedding stress on them. My husband is their only son, but after the wedding, the red flags started getting even bigger. I was still nothing but kind towards them, but my husband was frustrated and started going low contact with them. So that's the backstory. Now on Saturday, my husband and I went to a friend's birthday party, which was Halloween themed and costumes mandatory. We both got too busy with work, and at the last minute, the only costume we could put together was him wearing a T shirt that said, I'm with the witch, and me wearing a black dress I already owned with a black choker necklace. That's it, you guys. The extent of our costume. We took a picture at this party and it was put on the socials. The next day, mother in law texts hubby and I a screenshot of said picture and writes a message about how concerned she is about us and that she is praying for us. I was confused until my husband reminded me of her care in Christianity. You know the kind that gets offended if anyone happens to be a different religion, offended if anyone says what the hell, etc. My husband then starts getting phone calls from random distant and extended family members asking if he's okay. Turns out Karen has texted my husband's entire extended family. Uncles, aunts, cousins all over the country. The same screenshot of our picture with a long five paragraph text asking everyone to pray for her son that I, her daughter in law, am into some dangerous things and is a danger to her son. She doesn't spell out her cockammy belief that she thinks I am a witch. Instead she says that I am into bad and dangerous things and that I am dragging her son down with me. And she asks everyone to pray for him and pray for me too. Bless her heart for being so generous with her prayers for I am but an evil witch. So of course the extended family members assume maybe I'm into drugs or I'm poisoning him or some other type of abuse. You can see what this would do for my reputation in this extended family. I text her back and tell her that her actions were uncalled for and that I'll be going no contact with her moving forward. She responds with daughter in law. We all know you dabble in witchcraft. I am only concerned about my son. I pray for you both. Husband called his father and asked him how he could let her do something like this, but father in law doubled down on Karen's accusations. So now my husband has gone no contact with his parents, too. I feel like I am in a really bad soap opera. This isn't real life. This has to be certifiably insane, right? Part of me feels like no contact isn't forever, and that eventually my husband and they will reconnect even if I don't, which does bother me. What would you all do in this situation? Pick of the costume. It's nothing. Honestly, I'm reserving a very tiny speck of my judgment here for how low effort that costs. Yeah. I have a lot of judgment for the parents and I'm like look you could have. Hot. Yeah. Broom. Skin painted. Yeah, you left me wanting more there on the costume, but I'll I'll I'll allow it. I'll let it slide this time, OP. This is uh You know I feel like we've brought up a lot of like big Reddit convos and this is another one of like another Reddit thing is like no contact. It's like, oh cut them out of your life. But here's the reality is like a lot of people's parents, it's like they're no contact for a damn good reason. It's like 'cause they're dangerous to him. Like they are controlling, they're manipulative, and they are just Yeah, like what do you do about this? Like this is so extreme. What? What fed into this that this one photo decided it? I think I I I mean, 'cause 'cause he was saying so where I'm a little frustrated at OP, like a little f a little frustrated, uh, is that she talks about she's like, he's very distant from his parents. Right. So planning up to the wedding, I encouraged him to like get his parents back into his life. Because her parents are passed away. She clear must have had a good relationship with her parents, so she's going You should be should too. It's like why I feel like what they should have is really had more of a convo of why are you almost n or low contact or almost no contact with your parents because it This happened very quickly. Yeah. I think, you know, coming from uh you know, not a family like that, but you know, growing up in Idaho and and around a lot of kind of like conservative, like Christian evangelical type things is like This is the type of person, if I had to guess, the mother is very Christian and very controlling of her son or You know, for whatever reason and he goes off to live his life and, you know, probably like kind of steps away from that a little bit and, you know, is now marrying someone who's br I if I had to guess, not a Christian. And now she's putting all of that blame because in her eyes it's like, Oh, that's my perfect Christian son and this woman, the secular woman has come. Come in and ruined him and turned him to the devil. And now maybe this picture on Instagram was enough for her to be like, all right, here's finally the piece of evidence that I can send around to everyone and be like, see they're e she's evil. She's ruining our this is, you know, your family member and their And it's just so toxic and awful and it could just comes from the yeah, this very like controlling place. Like imagine having to feel like you need to put out a PR statement for your family, for your bloodline. Yeah. Like the fact that a witch a witch picture A costume photo, it's like hello, just getting on here to say I am not a witch. Yeah. Hey everyone. Like where are we in the internet that people are believing that? So so this Karen might be saying some really nasty things to try and back up this this 'Cause it's it's baseless. It's one photo. On a smaller note, it's so disrespectful and controlling for her to do to her son, where she's like, My son, who is incapable of living his own life or making his own decisions. I must make the decision for him. Right. And tell all our family how they should feel about my son. It's like she's completely taking away his life and agency. It's like this is a fully grown man. Like this isn't some kid, you know? Like I I just based on the picture, it's like this is clearly a man who's like