Drafting Things That Feel Fancy

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spit Mallers podcast with Andy Mike and Jason. Barely gets the headphones in. Just the last second I didn't know I was scared. Yeah, you did. Well I mean I knew I didn't know I was coming that quick. I didn't know thirty minutes ago. How long has it been? It's got to be months. No prs. Clearly no practice No I was no, I haven't haven't given it a thought. But man, What a what a normal scout for you Yeah I hope I hope it's my last four Mty months You just didn't. You didn't sell it the way you normally sell them. You know, you weren't able to get out there and get, you know, hit the streets. You hit them but. I didn't have ear phones in. I was I was scrambling. and hest I thought they were in on my back. I know l. That's how I believe that he forgot He was up Yeah, I mean, that's possible side we at lunch, we did not receive a ike Oh, I would' have offered. Yeah. We didn't have a desperate man. Let me take this lunch for you guys But you did it. Hell. I mean Congratulations. Any newfound love for it? No, none. I again, I hope to never do it again and it's open bidding Welcome to the Spitballers episode three hundred seventy That's a lot of shows. So many We've got Good work everybody Would you rather? Man of the people And then we are drafting Things that instantly make you feel Jason F Especio. Yeah. Yeah. a fancy boy. A bougie boy. I'm very excited for your answers because I feel like They won't be my answers. Maybe maybe not But I know the things that make me feel fancy Have they changed over the years Yeah Yeah, I would say they've changed over the years. I mean, you know, twenty years ago what made you feel fancy was like No, but you This is heavy silverware. Chle Bell. I don't mean over time. I meant for you Like there was a time when you probably thought certain things made you feel fancy. Maybe you're standing. I mean that's that's what I mean. twenty years ago for me, I would have said like you would have said heavy Sverwharebsolutely.. I would have been like, whoa, this is this is a fancy place Well was just way Pound? U now I'm like, okay, a siler. comeome on. We can do better we can do better now. Oh my gosh. Yeah, this is why it's J Jason special Oh, that gave me a new I'm going put one on my list. All right. It was it Silverway? Related? Okaykay. All adjacent So we' adjacent Well we'll get to that. let's start with some would you rather You rather All right, well, this is like a bad dream. Would you rather have all your teeth removed and Oh, stop it. Weear dentures for the rest of your life. I've had most of mine removed, so Inadvertently. How many more you got left to I've actually only got one in Isn't that hard to believe? Yeah, but I mean, all the rest are just real teeth. just they just come and go. They come and goes, they please. It's a real. keepeep a open mind about the deep So they're not really my te. No,'s they belong to the world orr to whatever candy I'm eating in the moment. Would you rather have all your teeth removed and wear denters for the rest of your life? So you got denters Or you keep your existing teeth, but you got to wear braces the rest of your life. Braces. Oh rest. braces are I mean, the dentures will look good. The dentures look fine when they're in. They look like perfect teeth. They can look They can look a little bld. They take an uncanny Valley though. Yeah where you're just like Staring at someone's teeth like No you don't got the fancy like No they' they' I too good. I would imagine that these that we would not get Rex Ryan. Yeah. Well, those aren't dentures, but they still are a problem. I would imagine for this question. They look really good. Okay. The point here you have the they come out. Absolutely. they have to come out. You're going to have to like take them out and put them in the little I don't you like dunk it in some formaldehyde. Yeah, something like something that cleans it like you don't have to brush your teeth. You just put your teeth in the thing painer cleaner. Yeah And then but braces, you're never going's that blue stuff at the barber that they used to have They don't have that anymore. What happened? Do you guys remember this? Yeah was sitt on the counter in the Whenever when I was a youth. and When I was When I was a youth, I would my haircuts, my my mom would bring me to Some salons Let's called blondies And I remember there was like blonde I'm sorry, a blue is a tube of blue liquid and it would have like homes and Oh sanitize it. Yeah. My b rememember this is that. What b What in the world is it? I have no idea what's in it, but my barber has one of those jars with the blue stuff and all the col I think they're in there. I think it's cool. I feel it's been deregulated Barber I mean, ye he may be unlicensed. That's what I'm say Unlicensed barbers. They're like wild. Well that that used to be everywhere. now it's gone. ex nineteen forty seven. What is it? Barbicide. Oh barbicide That's. That's real good. This is barbicide. Nothing surviving the barbicide. EPA registered Germicide. It's probably alcohol mixed with blue food coloring funungicide, viruside. It's specifically formulated to kill harmful bacteria viruses and fungi while utilizing an anti rust ingredient And now why do we not use it Some people still do. the iconic think because maybe we don't make our barbershops the way we used to. They're not as, you know, barbicidide. an EPA registered hospital grade disinfection It' still widely used in the industry. You can get it right now on Amazon. They just don't put it Not a sponsor. Barbicidees. They don't put them on at Gade clliffs. They don't use them the barbicide It telling me, I can go buy a bottle of barbicide. You can get it right now, fourteen dollarsy nineents. Not a sponsoreor. Barbide. arbide yeah. and and I don't know if we should put our dentures in barbicide, but probably Probably not They're not gonna rust. Just rinse them afterwards. Look, I want the diners The Riners are You know what Hepatitis BN C? No problem. Barbic. No problem. No Barbicide I want the I will never get a cavity again. I will never break a tooth again You could still do it I can get a replacement denter. I can keep a backup denture. That's true. I think dentures are the way to go. I don't want Dude, braces suck rac the. Barberside looks like it belongs in your pool with the chlorine P problem with when I'm looking at this picture, brraces Anything is side braces look good braces look Totally dorm Totally normal O children on a youth and a teenager Adults with braces is it's tough. It's tough. And I don't want to put anyone on bllack you're an adult. You're getting br. Good for you Um You should look into a visual line, but u Not also not a supposer, but genuinely adults shouldn't have braces. My wife had to do braces. She did, that's right. She did. But like it happened during COVID So it was like The ultimate time for a grown up you have to do No one to see it literally I can't see you. You're like, why? is it the COVID? Yes. Yes. It's not my braces And it's herrifically embarrassing. I think did she opt in for the metal braces over the She she orr was that what she needed to have? She had to have a metal br. Sometimes that happens. Yeah. there go to first grade during that year. Yes. Okay Kailey Madison style. One week per That's you get braces solely to straighten your teeth. There's no other reason. there's no other benefit. That's this may gen I'm just saying if you list out the pros and cons and you wanted to make a te chart pros on one side and cons on the other P side is entirely straightens teeth. The end of list right. There's no other benefit. No wow. And then there's all sorts of unfortunately, I mean It was she was having a problem where like the her tooth was going to break through her gum at the bottom of it. And did it so straighten that it straightened her teeth? Yes. Yeah. but straighten te. But but it was not a this was not a aesthetic straightening of the teeth. But that was that was a medical straightening Jac. Yes. It wasical was straightening teeth straight But I' was just saying there's there's a difference between the are you telling me there's So what I got happppy teeth 'ause I didn't wear retainers so thead. Differe benefit Well there's are there's health reasons. Yeah, sure. like if you need straighten them for first. I'm just saying, you're not going in there. you're like I got to get these wrinkles removed for medical re. these diners. diners have multiple benefits? Absolutely. Absolutely. You already said them on many of them. You're not getting cavities You aren't going to break a tooth. You're not going to stay in your teeth your teeth are going to be perfect as far as like They are literally made to look nice. You ever seen gap tooth dinchers like. this one's a little cheaper. straight teeth. This is a more natural look we put a little yellow on it just so that people don't know. your front teeth is just it's a little gap. Yeah. It's a w gap. If you really want to save money, go to the Bck dude. The Bcktooth denscers Y They're practically good they got Bogo on that, you know. So my point is someone thought this was a good idea. There are a lot of advantages obbviously dentures. Obviously the the downside of dentures is It's much worse the worstase scenario, these coming out at an You're not opport. I mean, and I can't imagine they ever feel as secure. No, as your real te You're gonna in I mean, a birthday cake. I mean, I've never seen a nemesis such as Dentures versa we put the candles of a birthday cake. ever blow. How is it that they Whatever grip can chew with them but you can't whatever grips it to your gums like Whatever you do, don't exhale It's directional. These things will not come down, but they can go forward I think I'm with you, Andy, you gott to take the dentures here. I Plus you could customize them. You can get a grill. Oh, for sure. Yeah customize I do like So I had the gold braces. What else you I had I had this purple orange. I went feel no That's your rubber bands. Iking my act actual brace. My actual brackets were gold. Oh my gosh, my. Well, I know what you're drafting first for things that make it feel fancy. just exactly the same. Golden braces. I've never seen golden braces. They were not made out of gold. Oh So you opted for gold. No, they were just like, Hey, you can do silver or we have this new gold. And I'm like, well, I'm gonna try that and Scoge McDuckg They look just like regular braces. How long did you have to have them And Well The Ortho was like One year. Oh yeah, they always ye they always underself. Four years later Get my getting my brace four years Yeah, I was four years on my braces My daughter just got herers off yesterday Oh Turns out she didn't brush her teeth well while she had them. Oh, well, because who does? What? The p when they're like w here Okaykay, number one We've talked about this before. I'm never flossing. Dennis Go away. You're saying you That's not true. You have a water flossher that you use every. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. I floss with this yes. Natural I'm saying back in the day before those existed, they were like, you got a flas. and I'm like, I'm not gonna do that. And then they put metal giant jagged pieces of metal and a wire and they're like, now you need to take this tiny's tiny toilet brush Like a threading need any toilet brush. and then you have to thread that between each individual bracket No no's doing.re you joking? You know many teenagers just to brush their teeth. would break off all the time and then you're jamming. Like it is the most whatidi. It's a midie. It is. It is. It's one of the I used the metadal ' they moveved their mouth around. The two things that I've always thought We would look back on someday hundreds of years from now and be like, you know, how people used to have corsets, they would break their ribs in the good organs or getting old organ That's like that's braces where you're you're squeezing. And I've also thought the same thing about milk It's like, wa, you You drink other animals but it's delicious. Oh I know it is. I'm all in on milk, but I feel like someday they'll be like Human being Savages. human beings used to take these animals preregnant and they would drink it It's weird, man. I have al it I could I do on. It is Very weird Anyways, I'm going I'm going if you got braces, just swish your mouth with barbicide, you'll be fine. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. but I'm going I'm going I'm seeing a gallon of it available for twenty five dollars. Are you picking it up? You also have to buy the glass the glass like It looks. I fancy in the glass I a sanitizing disinfectant glass jar down to nineteen ninety five. Oh, yeah, that's a good deal. So look, forty five dollars out the door. Out the door. Guys for barbicide.. How long does barbicide last as infectant? Infinityip. You can disinfect your disinfect it with barbicides Yeah. Some people bore bleachhing it to clean it out. Clean the bleach out Yeah Barbicide. There's just no way Barberside wasn't invented nineteen forty seven. Oh, you said, nineteen forty seven? I believe so Yes, nineteen for Anti rust formula. Germicide U pseudo mocide Fungicide and viruside. all the sides are covered. Youve covered all the barbicide. Would you The anti rust is just that's the our metal because the comes because they put the se the scissors in there too. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Don't want them to rust. That would be embarrassing. for sure Would you rather have a remote that can instantly find anything missing in your house Yeah or a remote that can mute any annoying sound in your home for thirty minutes C people count I feel like we once a day Is this once a day? I don't remember this one. I don't think we did it. and yes, people count How many times in a row can I do this Just once. J once a day for thirty minutes, it looks like Well I think once that thirty minutes laps, you can I can re up. Let's say it's a one hour cooldown. Let's Is it like one at a time though? Yeah two yourself are getting this. Y's what I mean, like one child at a time Yeah, you can't me more than one thing. Can you imagine when they're coming in with their teenage crap and you're like mute See in thirty minutes. Y's talk to you, huh Oh yell at me right now. I would wait, they don't talk to you. I would love some teenage booy. I would love them to stop talking to me with the mute. We need to swapski I don't How many things are you losing in your house? I currently can't find my wallet I have been looking for days for my wallet. Oh yeah, you lost your wallet. It's so weird to not have a wallet. I'm walking around and I feel naked because I'm always you know, you the balance. You have the balance. You get up and you tap your pockets and you're like, I got my phone, I got my wallet. I'm good to go. and I don't have it. and it feels so. you got ice. You got you bet you got the clip That's pretty nice Nice. It's not very you know what? because I got one of those fancy boy I got one of I got influenced on the IG, you know, the metal, whatever. I got that you know what's on mine th? Yeah, airtag Yeah because you're it. I I had one once but it died Like the battery ran out, I never they couldn't find this. Yeah Didn't you also just find your glasses that were missing for like two weeks? Yeah. I did find him now I think Jason needs this remote. I'm definitely going remote guys. This is great. and it's not just for me I lose stuff every now and then And right now My wife loses stuff every . Okay, hold on. So this is wonderful Over under I'm going to set the bar roll up. Okay But it's just per day over under Point five times, you have to find my somebody's device overver for sure. Okay. I knew it was going to be too low. Now when you say somebody's Anyone in your house? No, but you could just say my wife's 'cause it's the only one I do. I'm the only one exact. that's fine. I just I don't want my kids. My kids, you think they have their phone away from them for more than nine Like what I will say I agree with that, but my daughter loses her phone all the time. No the why And for some reason, like I think it's just a natural thing that happens with Men and women with the phone. like all of our pants just fit the phones. Yeah because we have the women's don't have pockets. And so my wife is constantly trying Answer calls for me on her watch justust drives me insane. Be she'll hear nothing.. Hello. And I'll be like, arere you on your phone? I don't have my phone. I can't comprehend not knowing where your phone is or not having it. And has a watch where she can find her phone. Oh suucker wait, wait, the watch finds the phone. I know Well yeah, but it's always be the remote to find the watch apparently. This is a lady who swallowed the fly fly situation.. Yeah, I would love. So if my wife soring I can mute in thirty second intervals. cororrect. For thirty minutes. Yeah Not saying she snores or anything. Is she the snore problem I'm trying to m. H to take Did you just say D you just recently said you have for the first time life startarted over n twenty years I owe her twenty years of snores. Oh so this is payback This is I'm just starting I haven't even worked into my best h. I haven't even begun to snore. I haven't even perfected my snore yet. I'm trying to all sorts of sounds. Trying to find my tone I a l Yeah, I mean, I got all sorts of stuff. What is she had deferred her loan, but now. It's over. Yeah, she had a twenty. I mean, we're married twenty years next month. So I work twenty years and we're even on snores. All right whichich I am picking. I some tips for you. Do you? Yeah? don machine don't No no, no, no no. tips to snoreore Oh yeah to really pay her back alcohol. That helps Fast food. Basically just do all the unhealthy things. You got a list for me? Also stop working out me If if you want to if you want to you don't want to really pay back. Ill take the mute button I'm going to find my everything bothoth of these things I think I would Personally I would just take the mute. Would you rather have a rapid series of five sneezes every time someone says your name or get the hiccups every ten minutes or for ten minutes every time someone touches you which Mike is no Mike is afraid because he's had some hiccup issues. I have had Multipould you call them a hiccup attack I think that's fair I think you've been that I've I've had riddled with hiccups before multiple times throughout my life. I've had The hiccups for over thirty minutes. Yeah but he says ten minutes, ten minutes and you know it's over Yeah, but at the ten minute mark is when You're ready for not even comes up and touches you And you just got ten minutes more. It would make What in the world is this question? tenen minutes of hiccups If we've never done really bad. If you've never done ten minutes of hiccups, you have no idea what you're in for. And and honestly you could say, you can make the argument on one side How often do people actually come into physical contact with you? Like I can avoid people if I need to, right The situations where you can't avoid people and there is physical touch are probably the worst times You know, when you have to give a hug, right orr when you're in, you know, in an intimate moment. S. It's like that would be rather unfortunate you know what I mean That would have like forever a big problem. I would pay any amount of money to not have heard that. Yeah, man. You heard it Um Five sneezes, sometometimes I sneeze so violently. Yeah, if my wife knows one of my sneezes is on the way, I mean, she will literally try to get away from me and cover her ears Like it's loud, it's violent Your sneezes are allowd. My sneezes are lowed. W you always go have dad sneze yet No I have not activated I have not because no Oh yeah, that's not the An blue that st own Dragon Ball when you snez? I'm trying to blow my eyeballs out covering this thing up. Wow, no, we can't I can't do that. I at least a few I have a headache after they're done I mean, it's like you have been to a roller game. gott to go to the chiropractor intentionally or unintentionally. I just don't think I can live with the hicup thing. I think I have to d I'll do this st. M many times is my name being said Andy Michael Jackson. crap. Oh, yeah. It happens. every time I'll Jack five sneez. Introduced the show I sneezed five times. Yeah I'm still going I'm still going to take the sneezes. All right, we'll take a break. We'll get into Saman of the people Man of the people All right, its it's the game we play, Man of the peopleeople where Al Borlin has combed the streets of Arizona, which it is really hot outside, but He went out there and found some people. He pull it. pulled hundreds of of the m. Did you guys ever do a mull I did a couple times. I Back in the day when they were like, we're gonna to give you two dollars two movie t Yeah, yeah, the movie t come into this back hallway. Yeah take our survey. Yeah. there were secret rooms back there. It was weird. whichich is like Hilarious. Now imagine someone asking your children now to do that. Oh no. And you feel like strange in danger Absolutely not. Yeah. And we were was doing. We were like movie tickets Yeah So we are playing five rounds Sound rounds. Seven rounds eightight rounds Wh game getting long. Why is in the scoreboard? it' Okaykay. seeventh round is double changed it live on the screen. That's impressive. So Al, why don't you tell everybody how easy this game is? Yeah. if you if you know what answer on the board, it's worth three points If you get the number two answer, it's worth two points, onene point for any other correct answer that's on the board, seventh round is worth double. No He was so excited. explain the Who won last time reccall. Cool man. How do you know how would your fancy fancy chart here. How is this not in here I'll get there. All right, we are starting round one, goo ahead E. Name something the doctor begins to check as you get older Pstate Prostate is the number two is. Oh man, that would have been bad if it wasn't on the list Cholesterol. Oh, that was my answer. Cholesterol is the number six an good. What Mike was super offended about That's all they care about. for you. That's all they care about, man. Jason, what do they check when you're getting older He check. See he doesn't even have an answer. Check your blood work. I don't know, man Man, I'm guessing heart's number one. Heart was number one. bllood pressure is on there, but not blood. That's not what I was saying. Okay I think you. know, Jason was saying cholesterol. He just fell on his sword. Yeah. that'sa zero points. Oh Oh, Jason. No No, no, no. So give me the list. What's the list? What are you are you Pstate. Are you talking to twenty year olds? Heart, prostate, blood pressure, colon, vision hearing cholesterol. Oh my ye My ision? That's a whole different doctor. Just wait It's still a doctor, Mike Hi doctors doctors No No, no. you're No you're not one round completed through this round and has two pometrist. Mike has one point. Jason has no points. We are on a round None of those people have ever been to a doctor at the age of forty nameame something. A teenager couldouldn't live without. Oh gosh, cell phone. Yeah ye. That is the number one answer car That is the number three answer friendriends Not on the board. Who are you talking to?'s's you not on the mall. The last one I took zero on purpose because I deserve zero. I deserve twentyy crap Chaseing got the number two. Yeah. Oh, I didn't think that was right. We had cell phone, we had computer, we had car Music, TV, money and clothes. Computer gamers I don't know Streamers. What is this I do this survey in the ninetest cense. Car phone When did you ask these questions? Yesterday. No, you didn't You're ask you toddlers Okay, so we, I mean, I like the way it's going so far. So wait, what's the score? Zero for me Let's see. Andy got three on that and I got I got one one Sorry, normally I have a Josh here keeping sc That's okay. Just make sure w We have someone else. You have assistant here. You guys How useless is Matt? What Matt. What is it? What would you say What you do here? What is it you do What are you doing? You're just listening shot in on our cameras right now. Oh, he's running the cameras. Yeah. He was running him poorly because we're talking to him and he didn't go to Ducer's ally. So the one job he has, he was doing poorly. I didn't mean to throw you under the bus, mat. No, I did. Did he answer the doctor question? They surveyed a hundred people and no one knew what he does here. He was one of the one hundred. Yeah becausecause of course, they've never asked him about his cl that you'd say youd do here All right, round three, let's rock and roll. Round three nameame something that a king had, but most men don't Crown. Brown Not on the board. It's the number one. Oh I was like on. Oh, I believed it. Oh my God. that's good. I was G's gonna revolt. Oh, I don't even know I would say a rope robe Kingly robe. People have robes, manan. Not on the board. Not a kingly robe Castle Castle is the number two answer. Yeah, baby. It's way better. Yes. The fact that you got Jason that good and I And you got me. I couldn't even believe that wasn't on the board. What are these All of a sudden it's become a game. We have And Andy with five Mike with four I said Rbe, Jason with three. And we were moving on them in there. The answers is were Crown castle Queen What about a jester? Throne, riches, servants. Okay. and command or ruling. No spter. No seven Okay ono round four After a week of camping, What luxury Oh, this is weird weird funny I mean Oh no no stop, stop, stop Toilet. You have to answer now. Toilet. Toilet is the number four answer. Oh dangn it. showher That is the number two answer. Okay Okay. readad the whole question. What luxury in your home are you most excited to have again? Oh I would have said to Y bed. Yeah. N one answer Waiting. My. So Mic got three I got the second You guys got toa know how to play of people who Jason I didn't I didn't wait but I still After that question, I would have said Toyila, I would have thought people want to be able to dooo at home. which I I would have agreed, but you answered that, so I got the one answer. Yeah, I mean, Mike did kind of in. That's how you do it may. Seven, seven to four. That's correct. Oh, it's competitible. And the answers were bed, shower, TV, toilet, electricity, air conditioning and computer on the board one more time. So if it's's toilet Four rounds, three to go. I need my computer Um On round five Name a complaint a pregnant woman might have. They're in pain back comfort Yeah back pain number two answer. All right.. Uh, hungry Hungry, number three answer. Oh u nauseous Oho, that's a good one. Morning sickness, number five answ. Yeah. Okay, do we all get one? No. Nope, Jason got two. Oh, number five, what is What was number one? Number one was their weight? Their clothes don't fit. so Yeahah. there you go Clothes don't fit, back pain, hungry, tired, morning sickness, swollen feet and cramps. Like I'm glad you came to us the most Yes, the people who know the answers to these questions. So Mike and I got one, Jason got two. Oh crap. Let me just ask this question. Who's the person actually putting the scores? Who's doing the M? I am Okay That's fine 'cause Mat's doing it slow. All right, two more rounds. All right, nameame something that a couple often does once the kids move out Vacation Travel Number one in S Sid I'll say downsize Downsiz is the number three answer Kids I is not on the b We had we just got rid of them Travel number one, remodel the house number two, downsize number three Rekindle romance. N four, throw a party or get a divorce Oh Rekindle the romance or seeee you later. I feel like my answer was b. haven't we? Ever had matched this cult? This is It's nine to eight to nine. Oh man. with one you're going the final round who had a double points. I came from behind. I started with a double goose. Yeah the double points is almost irrelevant. Iirrelevant to. R Thank you. repeating Last round What occupation might someone have if they carry a folder? Top secret. No, no, that's garbous. That That's garb. I do wish I had stopped reading. Well we should might should have to compete What do you mean? You should have to compete FBI agent. I I Mike we' We should out this thing. I I want to find another question they are Thank you because it goes I mean, the way a game like this if he had not said C secre at the end, you wouldn't have known whatrap It would have been lawyer and would have been lower on the list. Yeah Top se qu an your question. Yeah. He knows it You gott to go one ear out so you can hear him. But we can while you're looking at that question, Mat and tell us what he does here. Yeah.. Have you figured it out? Falcon? why don't you kind of stuff He did it you can switch To be fair to him, he wrote in he's like, we need a new question guys. He did write that. Yeah. What U New question. Well, he surveyed so many people. He's he's putting the data together He's got a counter right now All right, we're going to go with this one nameame a drink or food that can be eaten either hot or cold. Coffee C the number three answer Pizzs a baby. That's the number two in. What to sandwich Not on the board. Oh, come on. That wasn't that way outad of answer U Ta That is the number one answer. Just Dangots Dude, I was sold back and forth on tea and coffee. Oh, really? Yes. No one's ever had a penini,h L meatball su. Yeah. if we're talking to the same cholesterol non answererers, they have not had p. He wasn't on the board for me after you said coffee It took the drinks right out of me Yeah, I'llide That makes Jason. Jason is the man of the people Man of the people afterfter starting in a hole eleven zero to ero. eleven nine nine. Wow. Impressive, Jason. All you had to do isie like buzz in early. Yeah. it helped. No, that That was FBI agent number one. God I don't recall. Oh as private investigator, police officer, lawyer, politician, soldier. You should have just kept a man. IRS doctor. Oh even on board. Oh, thanks for the question. My Yes. Yes. You can't remind I am a man of the people. You can't Jerem nextxt segment, no, no Jeremy. You needed to be like Oh yes. Normally I would go to N I he moved on because But it was number one. Yeah. Me too. I am Do you do do here. I wouldn't know if FBI agent would qualify as like a law enforcement Oh yeah. Oh was that a police officer? I no. would have metay area. so I just I moved on. All As he should have. It was man of integrity. I like it. All right, we'll take the break and then we'll draft St still missed, Mike. All that last segment. I remain unhappy He came in unhappy. nothing is. T be fair I will leave here unheadppy The problem is Jason just won that segment and now he's got the number one pick in a draft built for him. Yeah. things that instantly make you feel fancy. Our hope here, Mike is that Jason is living so within the world of bougie fanciness that his answers are so nuanced deep and they just people can't relate. They only apply to him. People can't relate to my. It' be like a brand of caviar, not just caviar. It'll be a certain brand. All right He just gave a brand. My goodness. N one pick. The number one pick is the is that there is a one on one here to me becausecause you are you are than everyone else. Okay. And not only are you better than everyone else, everyone else has to sit there and watch you. It's on my list. Yeah. It's on my list. It's first class. Yeah. Flying first class's on my list. It is so It is like the last thing in this world that is really like Okay, we got the yous and then everyone else's and they've got to watch you And it's so Upsside down. Look, if you have For those at home, for most of us out there, look. Glass. like They they do like a beverage service. And they take care of you. But it's it's so upside down of I want to be the last person on the airplane. I I Yeah I want to go sit down and I click and they're like We're going I don't want to be like Have an extra forty five minutes on this and everyone wantks you. Yeah, it's really. think they do that so that everyone has to see you. likeike Yes. So it's like yeah And it's presumed that the front of the plane is somehow superior whichich you'll die, well, yeah, you die quickest. You do die quickest. It's an instant death Now the funny thing is that I mean, it is a good answer. It's worthy of number one It's on my list. It's not the environment the environment's not really fancy. When when first class is just you're in a bigger chair two bigger. It is, but it's not like fancy You getting a meal back there? No. I know you're not. I mean I just mean the environment is the same We are we're we're post nine hundred and eleven and they will give you a knife in the front. Yeah, that's fair U They're like, no, we trust you up here. Yeah. I mean, this is real glass. There's a million answers to this. There are little things, big things Where do I want to go first is the real question. I between a couple of them Things that make me feel fancy. I you know what I'm going to go with this because When it feels like something that you normally do and should do and then you don't have to do it. And someone does it for you, it feels fancy. Yeah. love it. You will do things for you. Yeah. So I will say valeet b.a was probably on my list. was gonna be my p. Just whenever it feels feels so fancy it feels wrong. Yeah. That's how fancy it is. There's like especially there are so many where you're like parking lot is very small Yeah. and where I'm not the small where it's like there's no spots. I'm saying I could No, I can park I can I can just turn this I can round this corner, mrter Valet and go park my own cars right. I could see it They're like, no, no, no, no. We will park your car. Vale like Vaallley feels absurdly It's It's still It's it's what I mean. I actually it's comfortable. like I'm like I I'll take care of this for you. I. I'll pay you Dude'll I am a boozie boy. And I love all things fancy. and I have vallied uncountable times. When I too uncountable one. You wouldn't even believe how many tim If there's a ballleet next to an open parking spy, will I still actually do I'm I still feel a little uncomfortable. It's always it's always a little awkward even because it just feels so We weird and It feel whenever something if ye, and it's almost like They're situ like I mean, I'll say it, maybe it's on your list. It's fine But it's like a massage feels that way too. where I'm like, I don't like that I am the one that is being served M And I just have to allow somebody to do it. Yeah. Now do you throw your keys to the ballleet Jason Do you go Do I. Oh where do you pop it up? Yeah, do you pop yourself in the arm? Yeah. Okayigure. Well I would. T me that one jumped out. I have done I have done many valets though of where I walk up and I'm like There's a line, and I'm like, No I can see my car. I'll just give me J give just give me the keys. J give me I'll see you later. I'm going to go get the call That's mine right now. They're like, arere you sure?ike Yes. I'm very sure. Stop this. It's I can see it. And then you crash it back and out. Yeah. oh yeah, yeah. Okay We've got Mike two picks So man Y here's our fans here. I'm going to go This one, I feel like is It's more low key Fancy then your your guys are very in your face Uh It's a water infusm sorry. Fruit in water. Oh yeah. That's fancy. When reallyally? When you show up at like a cucumber established crab and there's the cucumber water. There's the water up front. but it's not just ice wine. No, it's cucumber It's got cucumber. It's got lemons.int. Why did do that Be they' fancy. Because it's delicious. It's so good. It is It's so refreshing. We should all do it. We don't do it. No, it's way too much work. That's why it's fancy Gotta buy fruit Okay, got to cut it into pieces. Are you joking? Who's got time for that It's a good point. So the fruit infused water And I'm gonna go with So This one's nice because it can be You can be at a place that's not fancy at all And speaking of it Barber When they go hot towel. Oh yeah, hot towel on the face at the end of the count That's part of first class sometimes. It Yeah And as you're like I get to leave wherever I am for this thirty seconds side to a minute and I'm just in this hot towel I don't I can't see because my entire face is covered. I'm breathing in I'm like it's opening my airway. Something about describing the experience of a hotel. Especially the eucalyptus like used hotel. just try Yeah. It's amazing because it's another thing we could do in ten seconds and no one ever does J put the hot water on. Just put it in the microwave out J drink and put it on your feet. No one offered. Oh my goodness, a towel that's hot Why thank you. I am important because honestly, the biggest thing is of feeling fancy is Someone on someone does it for you. Well, not necessarily because I won't draft this you just drafted this, but a towel a hot like a towel warmer. I've talked about that like for your showers. they just sell little towel warmers Oh, you feel fanscy. Oh, Oh my gosh, you take a hot towel out of that thing and you dry off after a shower. a question. How many towel warmers have you bought in your life? Two That's the one That's's the one more than I thought That's still two more than I've bought Yeah. But really how good are they? They're unbelievably amazing.s It feels so good to have a hot towel get out and just wrap yourself in warmth. Oh I don't think there's a way to use my next pick in any other way than being fancy It is not it's not for casualty running down the street to grab some fast food. It's a limousine Oh, That's good.t That was not on my list. That is That's not on my list. Super good answer. Yeah I mean It's pretty fancy. Oh, it's super free. It's a limousine. Wh those are like not That's not the common u like when you you dream Oh Oh, a fancy party. I don't even think about a limo anymore at all. No no because growing up Yeah It's like growing up It was likeoober black now. Yeah. But I mean, literally and we I love this part of, you know, again, it's like the comedy of the first class you have to get in and then people walk past you This idea that the longer the car is, the more fancy you are is also very funny to me. It's like, oh, Yeah. I got a limo. Yeah, I got I got a stretch I got a stretch hummmer. I got it's so stretched. You got a boat on that? You got a you got a pool? Yeah, you how stretched is it? It goes for miles, man. You We can't turn. You you know wide my turns are Don't cut underneath. We can to run into. down one street and back the same street. That's all we do. But Limo. Yeah Limo's a great pick All right, I'm up for a Double up here. I'm going to take Something very similar to the valeet where you kind of feel uncomfortable S someone else is doing it for you. I have never I've never had this before And honestly, I don't want it? Guinely at this point in my life, I would be really uncomfortable But man would I feel fancy. Oo. Patdty Oh You're out on the golf course and you got a Guy did justkay. Harry my was that was golf reference. Actually that one is like That one's wild because they have to lift a heavy object. Yeah and carry it carry it like a pack m and have the knowledge to tell you all and they're responsible if you like, how far is how far is this shot? You better know. Yeah what club should I hit That sounds really nice. It sounds nice, but I so we've gotten into golf They better get paid well over here. Oh, they get a percentage of winnings Well, but for pros, sure, but what about Joees? Yeah Jers don't have cad? No they they doing that. No not no, really. So like like got a nice resort. Yeah. So since we've got into golf. I'm looking into caddies Looking into hiring a full time caddy.' going to really improve my game. He waits ninety percent of the time just for your round Oh So you shanked it again I would know that look bl water I' make him get it out of the water, you know. That's my only ball. Go get it. Scuba up But no, like we've gotten into golf recently and we've been golfing a lot and and so I looked at like the win. I love going to Vegas. I like staying at the win. They have a really nice golf course there. So I'm like, oh, I looked into that They have a required caddy there Like you can't golf They got to bring a guy. No, they have them, you know, you don't have to But like they give you a catdy. I'm like To me, that was like, oh, I do not want to do. That's uncomfortable. I don't want them to see how I go. Make them cover their eyes.. All right, turn around. Hey around. Marcus, Marcus, cover the eyes. What's that over there Uh yeah. my my next one is it makes it feel fancy When you're in a nice hotel or resort and they got the Hotel Rort R and slipper com Yeah, when you can put on that it's always so fancy Yes. It's got like you know embroidery. I get it and and Rbe was on the list I do take issue with the resort slippers, man as somebody who They are not big enough. Oh that's not true. That's true. If you've got big feet. Yeah. Well the same can be said about the robe. I have I have definitely been at a resort or two where I've tried to put this robe on and gone, this's not made for me we If you have just completely dismantled your peer, like Rob and slippers very fancy. except the slippers never fit and the robes are always too small. No it's basically if In fact, I don't feel fancy at all. I feelosed. It makes me feel Even fancier when I go to a place that's got a road that fits me. I'm like, ooh, this is a real nice. That'll be a new dressair make you feel fat instantly. Oh, I could come up with a list of that. Am I back on the clock? You are It's champagne U For sure You toast It's a a special occasion. It's in most often in a special environment You're not at a sports bar just busting out the champagne. you're in a fancy environment and it makes you feel fancy Every time I've had champagne, it's been a fancy environment. to me It's the drink of the fancy Champagne. It definitely is a drink of the fancy. Uh I will go So my first one I have not so why this is an assumption And you're like, well, what are you going to do tonight Are you going to a party? No, I'm not going to a party. I am attending A gala A galla. A Gall That's what is word even mean It means fancy party. Nice pick. A galla Wow. Can you imagine? I've been to one gala and I tell you. It was fancy Silent auction. They're always fundraising. Can't have an out loud auction Not at a g N at a gala. That's the cattle m That's a great pick. Okay I got. So I got one more And I'll I assume I'm just going to tie it in because I assume that a gala would have this. we don't have it a lot in Arizona due to the weather. Coat check So I have it on my list. Yeah. I have it on my list because Jack I think the rest of the world you like to take this coat I think a lot of the world, a lot of the world when you say that, they're like, what? Yeah Because every place they go in just has a coat check. It's a normal thing. We't coat racks. No. We don't even have coats. don't need I mean, that's not a lie This last winter went by. I never wore my coat. Yeah. but there was no winner. I mean, but when you go to a restaurant, your coat just goes on the back of your chair. Yeah. Yeah. A coat check. A coat. There is a person who set is paid specifically to take and care for my coat. room Is that a room store our coats? That is it sounds And I'm sure in New York people are like Oh yeah Well, it's Applebees's as a coat jck. That's c And For for me I'm a competrou fancy' on my list. All right, the last one here, I have a million different choices, but I have to pick the best one. I'm going to go with room service. Oh Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. I to go with a room service. And that's the attainable fancy. Yeah it never gets off. Oh, it's never. Yeah, room service. and it does have the same aspect of a person serving that comes and brings the food into your room And you know, sits there and wait for a tip and it's great And and it's eighty times the price if anything else. Of course, but you' but it's covered. Oh, it is Oh you got those s with those metal covers Yeah, sogging up the fries. Yes. And people aren't coming in shorts and a t. Oh, no, no. No they Cberes Cumber bun Yeah for sure. Cumber bun is a good answer. I tell you sir Cumberbun is good answer. The champagne Room service, valet, Limo, those are those are for. Those are great U let's see. you got two more? I got two No I got one more. Yep. My final one. You have flying first class, a golf caddy, which I love that. hotel robe and slippers I love that too. And then Mike finished with fruit infused water, hot towel and face attending a Gala Gala I No know. No, it's not a gala. It's a gun of it's fancy's a Gala. And then it's like a vase. So check. Yeah, good point. It's the people who hit awe. Yeah for sure Yeah All right This wasn't on my original list. I just thought of it, but we've been on one once. And you never feel fancier And when you are on a red carpet. Oh the redet is only for Fancy Pan. We have done one. Get off myike carpet. And we did not belong because we dropped off in a forord no No it's from nineteen eighty one. And we were like behind Mike Tyson. We were We were And it's like Mike Tyson Okaykay take it's like and the fantasy football who Wh? And they're like next, please. Just take a quick picture and move on. they're gonna save our digital space And next, super fancy celebrity Um I have a I have a bunch of like quick ones to throw out there like A mononacle and a top hat. Oh yeah. I can only imagine. Things with truffles. Oh dude. Tuffles so fancy. Except disgusting, they're not good. The word Somaler. The word, notot the person. Correct. Just the word. a word. I like it. thoseose are I've got an airport lounge Oh my gosh. When you finally get into an airport lounge. Yeah. whichich then it's overpacked and it's like, waitah, everyveryone gets in these things Um, u a bathroom attendant Oh I know. No I hate them, but it's like. I feel like you're got a better place if you've got a bad place. We call them the butt wipe guy. The crumb scraper at a restaurant with a napkin on your louse. Those are ridiculous. I'm gonna clean your table, sir. Uh an espresso machine That feels fine. I had the Uh, when you go to the steakhouse and you pick your knife Oh yeah in the world? love that. Wh Oh no. The one that cuts the me. Is that one sharp? Yeah, Could you pick a wrong knife? That's a real question. sharp It's just what do you want to Wh one looks best to you? when the waiter says, would you like sparkling or still? Oh yeah. I feel a little bit fancy. Yeah, ' then you're like, no toilet water. Yeah you're like, no, just soda water. How' your house water? house water Can I take the world? Well water Ties, tuxedos, grand pianos. Yeah, cuff links. Oh of wines cellar. Things that make you feel fancy, your own back cave U I feel fancy. When I think of fancy, I think of Batmanan. Batman was so fan. Bruce Wne was fan. Bruce Wne didn't have a batcaave. Batman had a bcaveair enough U What do we learn today I I mean, I guess I learned it. Maybe I always knew it all along The falcon doesn't do anything Oh I yeah, we all, I mean, that's not something know It's been and imprinted M We didn't learn it, but we just it Back here, Jason's very fancy. I learned. He's about the fanciest. There's no consequence to buzzing in early You know what I mean? Just hit that button. They just finish the question no matter what. That is't amazing. And if you answer not on the board, they go to the next quest This year. This year. This man. Thanks for that. That's it. the Spitmoallers podcast. T see. takeake care everybody goods are up to. cheheck out spitmoallerspod dot com d