Final Thoughts and Wrap Up

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Indeed, sponsor jobs help you match with candidates who can move your business forward, target candidates by skills, certifications, or location, join the three point three million employers worldwide that use Indeed to connect with quality talent that fits their needs. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress , less time, more results now with Indeed Sponsored Jobs. And listeners of this show will get a seventy-five dollar sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves at indeed.com/slash podcast . Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, do it the right way with Inde ed. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason a squee-up beep beep bro I'm sat bo ah Oh the sign of any good impression is identifying yourself at the end. Shadow . You get halfway through. You get halfway through it and it was going great. And then you're like, I better make sure they know who this is. Tomahawk dunk at the end. Yeah, I'm sad . I figured I don't have to do the scat ever again if I'm not the one that does it. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Your channel. That's got was brought to you by Satchmo. Okay. Who knows Scooby Doo might be the next one. I don't know. I bet next week it's it's Satchmo . Yeah, I got a list of about one. It's his thing. Welcome into the Spitballers, Episode 29 8 . Would you rather on today's show? Guess guest goose where uh someone not yours truly has to wear the goose. Honk . And then uh not that we would be familiar with any of the possible answers. A lot of research necessary for this for this draft today. But we're gonna draft things to do when your midlife crisis hits. Yeah, I uh after we established what we were gonna be after we established what we were gonna be drafting, I I bought some books. Right. Um talked to called up some old people. No . You definitely didn't just like go in your browser history for the last two years. Yeah. Not me . What midlife crisis? So that's what we're drafting. That should be entertaining. I'm looking forward to it. You can find us on X at Spitballers pod . You can leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. We appreciate it. Um actually the best way you can help the show, leave us that review. Make sure you're following the episodes and tell your family and friends about the podcast. It I find that hum or is more fun shared. Find your sickest friends and then prescribe them I see. Because of the medicine. Yeah, yeah. It's the best. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's what they say. Alright, moving on. Would you rather ? Question from the website, Uriah writes in. Would you rather have no sense of time or no sense of direction . So help me take those two to the extreme because I I mean we all know a moment in in your day to day life where maybe you lose track of time and you all know a moment where you get lost, but take them to their nth degree here because Yeah, I mean I feel like we gotta deal with the elephant in the room here, which is navigation. Right, like like that is what popped into my head. Most of the people that I know I and this blows my this this shocks me. Cause I know this does not apply to you two gentlemen. And I feel like it should apply to absolutely no adult in the world , but when I have polled people around me, their sense of north which direction is north or south or east or west, they have no idea. And I'm like, How are you a grown up? How do you not know which direction you're going right now. First of all, just by I don't know, living enough years to know oh yeah, when I go that way I'm going east or west. But also you can look at the sun. Like you don't even have to I can go I can go to Nebraska. Don't start at the sun, kids. No, no, no. Don't stare at the sun. But if I go It just tells you anybody it just tells you which direction you're heading. So but all of them are fine because of navigation. Because i getting somewhere, finding their way to somewhere has nothing to do with sense of direction. Do you if you didn't have a sense of direction, are you getting lost in your own house here? Are you like when you get to the office, you do get turned around in your own house? I mean uh you might be okay for the most part in your house but if you're you know just a a larger place like you go to uh a museum you go to the state fair you're you're not gonna be able to find anything mm hmm repeatedly. Walmart, Costco. Well, yeah. There you go. A theme park becomes an impossibility. I mean, you are You better be handcuffed to your kids. You know what I mean? Yeah, that would be a nightmare. And then no sense of time. I mean I don't want to get too deep here, but like if you have no idea about the passage of time , does anything exist at all? Oh or do you or it's just like you're gonna be late for stuff. Alternatively, do you just stay young ? Hmm? I guess it doesn't mean you have amnesia. It just means you don't know time how much time. Yeah, you're not old. You're not young. And you'll wake up be like, I d I don't know how long I slept. This is a difficult question to answer. Yeah, I mean, the the truth is in in context to this question, it just means like you are an idiot with directions or an idiot with time. You're always running late. Okay. You're always making it always behind the eight ball. Yeah. Or you're always getting lost. Yeah, you're always getting lost, need to constantly ask for directions, or you're setting like a million timers for yourself and trying to remember what they all mean. If you get lost, you're also going to be late. I was gonna say one of these is both of these. One of these is always both of these. Yeah. So I gotta I gotta go with the no sense of time. Hmm. Yeah. You'll be late, but you drove straight there. I did. Which is more embarrassing ? Like it well I think it's more embarrassing to drive straight there and be late. Like because if you think about it this if you show up somewhere late, what do you do? You Oh yeah, I took the wrong turn. You give the reason why you're late. You don't say, Oh man, I came straight here. Sorry I'm late. Oh my bad. I didn't care enough to leave on time. So that's why I'm late. Which is probably the truth half the time. Man . Yeah, I guess I'll just go. I'll I'd rather have no sense of time. That might let me enjoy things. I'm an impatient person. That might let me like enjoy I think there is a freedom to not having time uh ruling your life. So I will take that as well. I think it's more embarrassing to not be able to do direction Okay. So I'm as a man. You're a I'm a man. I know where I know where North is. You don't need to stop and ask for directions. Skip from Patreon. Would you rather always have to refer to your mother in law Oh gosh. Oh dear goodness. Would you always have to refer refer to your mother in law as babe? Oh what? Or your father in law as Tubby. Wow . Uh Tubby. Yeah, that was quick . That was easy. Yeah, man. I've done the babe thing with friends like once or twice. I've done the babe thing with my own mother one time . Because I'm so used to calling my brother. That's what I call my wife. I call my wife babe. I say, hey babe, come here. And I've had a couple of times. You know, you do that for so many years, and then you'd suddenly you run'rening an errand with your mother and it's like, babe, come over here. Oh gosh Yep, well I'll see you never again. Yeah, it's like but this is this is where I say goodbye. Doesn't it become normalized if that's always like, Hey babe. You know what I mean? I'm showing up and my mother in law, hey babe looking good. No it's a compliment versus hey tubby, you looking bad Gramps . Uh go lose some weight, tubbs . Well, you're not doing that, you're just always calling him Tubby. Tub is insinuated. Yeah. One of these is But you don't have to elaborate on it. Tubby is not I guess there's Tubby Touberville, right? I was trying to think if if there's ever a name of somebody where it's like Tubby is a good Well Tubby was the name of the the character that I would always draw growing up. Tubby? Yeah. Oh that's what most people were thinking. Not babe. No, Tubby. Um Tubby means you're fat. I mean, let's just let's pull the band-aid off. It is a negative. If someone calls you Tubby, y'all know you like them snarks. Snack count at a hundred. Uh Tubby, oh man. I if your father -win-la is not good spirited, you're about to get your butt kicked over and over again. Possibly. As long as they got that old man's strength. Yeah. There's a chance you ru you run into the wrong father-in-law where to Jason's point, if you call your mother in law babe in a funny way, it's also awful. I don't want to do either of these Yeah. Well the the father in law could get upset at that. Oh yeah the father in law's get upset. Boo, you call him babe . So this uh it's a little off topic, but I was just reminded of it. It's about this character I dropped. No, no, no, no. It's about old man's strength. And like the uh the idea of that guys, as they get older, like there's just this weird, they get strong. And then I thought, well, you know, why is that? Because it's obviously the opposite of what you think of. You get older, you actually get weaker. And, well, back in the day, you would have guys doing intensive labor jobs. Yes, yes. In the coal mines, carpenter, building, concrete, whatever. Yeah, construction for forty carpenter. And then push ups like podcast ing. And yeah. No, that's exactly where it went of like, wait, I'm not you're not gonna get old strength I'm not gonna get old man's strength, am I? No, you old man's strength. You already have it. There's a way to tell if somebody has it. Look at the hands and look if they're working man's hands. No, no, this is a real thing. We Yes, that is it. Are you I don't think I don't man strength you have to be grizzled. I'm telling you you already have old man strength. I'm telling you if you go up. But that's another problem for the draft. If you go up against a twenty year old and you just want to push each other. Okay. He's not moving you. Okay. You're moving him. Old man's strength comes with a little bit of that's not for all of us, Tubby. But you're just calling me that drawing Mike used to do? Is that what you Yeah, what a term of endearment. I think you yeah, I get it. I mean it it was a reflection, at least how I think of it, as like the mechanic did mechanic stuff for forty years and now they're just I don't think I'm getting it. You see I don't think I'm getting old man strength. You're not gonna No. Hmm. you're saying that does your son in law can call you tub Well, it would be accurate at this point. Will the next generation refer to old man strength as like a weakness? Like, oh, you don't want old man strength. They have none. Their weak podcasting arms can't lift my baby. Yeah. Yeah. I 'm I'm worried about it. I'm gonna call the father in law Tubby and hope he's a podcaster. I'm gonna call the mother-in-law a babe and have fun with it. I think I can make it into a nice term of endearment that isn't until she falls for you. Creepy. Well I mean that that had to have happened the day she met me. Would okay, go to the side of the spouse. Would your wife rather hear you call her mother babe or your or her dad Tub Jason's probably right. I'm pretty confident she'd rather me call her mother one is one is directly me an and denigrating. And the other can be spun in a humorous way. And let's be honest, we are now past our own midlife crisis age, I hope. I pray. Um so that means our middle of our our in laws. Please tell me I'm past it. Uh our our in laws are, you know, I don't think this is you know, when you call 'em babe, I don't think there's mixed signals here. You know, they're they're an age where it's just nice. It's just a com You might have to explain yourself in a few public settings. Maybe. She's my mother in law. That doesn't make it better. No. What is your final thing? She's a babe. Uh chubby. Okay. I'll poke the bear. Two tubbies and a babe. Two tubbies and a babe. All right. Uh Cody from Patreon . Would you rather wake up tomorrow and have your kids be infants again? Oh no. Or have your kids be twenty years older. Oh man, you're gonna get me here. Oh, what? Sentimental man? Yeah. Twenty years older, easy. Easy. He's like, I can't wait if I can push a button now to skip twenty years, easy. You don't want to go back? No. No. I do remember man . Because they make mistakes. Um this is this is really tough because no, it's so it's so easy, man. It's tough for Andy and I. Uh this this is one of those like there is something really great about I mean, obviously going back to infants, I don't want an infant. I I love a baby. I don't want to have to change diapers anymore or whatever. But if you're telling me I got to relive and re-experience the three-year-old, the four year old, the six year old, the you know, those ages are so magical. The problem is I don't get to go back in age in this in this. Now I'm older and have to deal with your kid has your your kid has the old dad. Right. You all we all knew someone who had the old dad and it was weird. Oh, yeah if my son became twenty years older today, he'd be five years younger than me. Maybe you could do things together. Yeah. Take naps I got a best friend. That I mean I'm just I'm I'm teasing it out 'cause that is enticing to like But aren't you also I mean you you are factually taking twenty years of your children's life away. Yeah. Well that's just hypothetically then. It would detract . You're in a coma, they live a nice twenty years and then you come out of it and they've So for your intents and purposes, they got to enjoy their life. That would be better because I mean this is basically saying you I don't get grandchildren if I pick that one. Right. Whereas if you're in a coma. Right, they're gonna have to find love at you know, in in their you know I'm not saying it's impossible to get grandchildren. I'm saying there's a good chance it's not gonna work out. Just the do the match. I mean you're probably okay. Yeah, I think you'll be fine. Yeah, I mean it just depends on how they've aged, you know. I I think even at regular childbearing like age, the the average age that that Americans are having kids, I think you'd still be fine. One more cave at before I make you pick your final answer, which is I already picked, bro. He's like there's nothing that could take me here. If they go back to being uh infants again, you do get to redo all the stuff you screwed up as a par ent. I didn't screw anything up . Um all right. Last caveat here before we pick we're gonna change this to would you rather have your kids wake up tomorrow like they are or have your kids be twenty years older. Mike, go . Let's see. Yeah, like nothing changes or you could skip twenty years. Like basically do you want to be in a coma? Like 'Cause we can do this for you . So and and we're this is like the assumption that they're twenty years older, so they have they have self reliance. Oh absolutely. They've they're move they've they've moved out. I get my house. You get your house. Wait, what's the down side? I'm taking the infants. I'm doing it too. I'm gonna go I'm reliving it. Weirdo old dads. Enjoy it.. Yeah Enjoy all the new mistakes you get to make. All right. Al, how are you today? Doing great. What what's your answer for that one? I'm gonna have to go back to infant stages. Yeah, yeah. He's sentimental like me. Um Mm-mm. We have time for another, would you rather? I just have one, Mike, so it's a little it's a little less task. Yeah, yeah. Your your your single child will have his own issues. Yeah, you you you took a lazy way out, man. Yeah, this is uh you know Papa Just do I at least have someone who's who's willing to to admit it. My kids are getting older, man. I'm kinda missing I'm kinda missing the younger days. Oh man. You guys just don't remember. Here's the problem. I'm the only one in this room who actually has a good memory. That's I I remember all of it. It's terrible. There's some good stuff. So much terrible. Oh my gosh. All right. Do we have to do that? So you're saying we're we're just have nostalgic viewpoints. We only remember the good. And then we got the Falcon inducers alley where if he ski pped twenty years, he'd just have eight year olds. So cool, man. All right. Are we uh we got time for one more or we moving on? Yeah, let's do one more. All right, uh Dahlia from the website. Would you rather have to try and saddle and ride a dolphin or saddle and ride a bull. Ooh. This is like do I have to find the dolphin or is it brought to me? Uh you gotta be in a tank. Yeah, it's in a tank. I'm in a tank. I just got to get a hold of it. Yeah, you're not finding a a bull out in the wild either. You're you're in a rodeo pin. Well I'm thinking like the one thing I know about dolphins from my vast research, um like if I have a bucket of fish, they're gonna come hang out with me. But I don't know how I get a bull to hang out with me. Like a bucket of what does a bull eat? Uh grass. I mean I just don't feel like you see bulls coming over to you because you hold out some grass. And my my number one priority here is how do I get on this thing? If if we really have to be the one to saddle them, there's I mean uh well, uh we're not gonna do either. But I I would not have the courage to even attempt a bull. Uh like dolphin I can be convinced that I can befriend this and over intelligence. Yeah, there's intelligence.' Thelly know I'm a friend. We will become besties. Yeah. And then maybe someday they will let me harness its swimming power. But a bull, I won't walk near it. I won't be its friend because I am afraid of being its skewer. By being gore. Yes. Yeah, only one animal can gore you in this example. But a dolphin what if a dolphin's like, sweet? You ready to go fifty feet under the water? That's true. But the thing, I'm not like strapped into this saddle. Am I am I like locked in You've got your feet there You got a seatbelt? You got the feet in the stirrups? Yeah, you're in the stirrups. Okay. But I can take the floor. You could get you could get out, but you might be fifty feet down by the time you get them off. Now, let me ask a question 'cause Papa Josh trained dolphins. This is not a lie. He is really old. He's lived five, six, seven midlife crises. Now, Papa Josh, have you ever saddled or seen a dolphin saddles? No.. Okay I have ridden a dolphin though. Just do back. Do you just hold on to the fin ? Yep. How fascinating. How'd that go? I love that he started nodding as well. Again, this is an audio podcast. You gotta use your words. So that would be a yes on the fin . Um how did it go? Very cool. And fast. Did it did it ever try to submerge? Yeah. I've been under I've like been pushed underwater by them too. Superman style. Neat. Oh, like where you put the f you put your feet on their flying through the water. No one's friends with a bowl. Yeah, but how cool would you be? If you if like your horse was a bull? Imagine a Western where three dudes roll up on their horses and one dude's rolling up on their bull. Dude, that would be amazing. For sure. That's Tubby over there. Well, that's that's the king. I mean, if you you go back in time, you redo any old Western, any great old Western, like the three amigos, and and one of them has a bull , that's the king. Real real talk. Real question. Okay. Why can't we tame all of 'em? Why are some animals untameable? Like a zebra. Like a zebra is a horse, but you can't tame a zebra. Or like why why can't we like, you know, ride a lion? You know? Hold on. Or a wolf. Why can't we ride a big wolf? Well, we turned them into dogs. Hmm. We can't you can't tame a zebra? Where is this zebra? I don't tame a zebra. This comes from the back of my noggin, and I'm pretty sure it's right. Because I've you don't you Where have you heard this? Here here's the results. Zebras can be trained and and hybridized. No, they can't. But they have never been domesticated. Yeah, they're not domesticated animals. Unpredictable, aggressive, and strong territorial streaks. Making them difficult to train and difficult to stop. Yeah, the I mean it's it's it's a it's a somewhat known thing that is not. Yeah, it's not. I've never heard this in my life. Listen, we l as human beings, we saddle and ride everything we can. Yes We've already accomplished the saddle and ride of all things we've tried. Camels check. Elephants check. Horses check. Zebras didn't work. Yeah. It did not work. Yeah, I mean I think a few people might have got it done, but Yeah, but I mean you you don't have zebra rides at the zoo? No. And you never will, Mike. Yeah, that's right. They're they're ornry. They're they're aggressive. They're they're so upset about these stripes. They are they feel like they're in prison. Then why am I watching a video of people racing on zebras right now. Because AI can do anything. This is not AI. There's outliers. Now listen, if I was a zebra and I was trying to hide in the bush and I looked like a referee from a football game, I'd be pretty pissed too. All right, when I say do people ride zebras, while some people have ridden zebras in the past, zebras are not typically ridden because they are not domesticated and have not evolved to support the weight of a human rider. Yeah, okay. That's the biggest zebras. A bunch of people on zebras at Churchill Downs flying down the the back Oh and one guy gets tossed! Yeah, because that's the that's the point. This is going horribly. They're all tossed from these zebras. This is what we do as people. I'm not saying you can't do stupid things. Right. You can try this. You can ride a dolphin. A hippo or a a rhino. Yeah, go for it, man. See how that hippo's gonna love you. Yeah, yeah. Just because we can doesn't mean we should. What animal that is not currently saddled would you wish to ride the most? I mean, the rhino is real right there. With the horn? Yeah. See, I'm going I'm going to your I'm going to your lion. I'm going to the king of the jungle. I mean, yeah, because I can jump. Your rhino's not jumping. Yeah, the lion would be cool. I'm not going to argue. I think the problem with the lion is just But if we're doing the way that it runs, I don't know that it's gonna work out for you. If you're on the line and I'm on the rhino and we're doing like old school you know, we're gonna run at each other with and battle, I'm gonna win. Yeah, I I believe that. I believe that. And then I hope you'll be skewered. Hope Mike chooses some kind of bird. Zebra. If there was a bird that you could actually You wanna ride uh they ride ostriches, don't they? If they can't fly, that's all I'm gonna say anything about flying. Is that a bird with an asterisk? Is that what an ostrich is? Yeah. Yeah, that's a bird wink. Yeah, how d yeah, why do we have why do we have like an ostrich and an emu and they can't fly? That would be terrible when you go to the bird meetings. It would suck if you were them and you show up and you're like, My wings are bigger than all yours combined and I can't get off the ground. You're like, I run really fast. Like that's that's cool. See ya that's why they stick their heads straight in the ground, man. Which they don't I can't see you flying. Also that's right. I think a prerequisite A prerequisite for being a bird should be flight. If you can't fly, you shouldn't be allowed to be in the bird club. And I just Googled camp penguins fly. Oh no., they cannot Oh no, they can . You had to Google that? They can if you have the stupidest answer of all time, which is penguins can't fly through the air, but they can fly underwater. That's no they can't. That's not flying. That's called swimming. We got a word for that. We got a word for that, Google AI. Called swimming. They can swim fast. That doesn't Michael Phelps can't fly. Well, Michael fly he can't fly through the air, but he can fly in the water. Dumb AI . I got a submarine. It's a flying submarine. Exactly. All right. Um we'll take a break. We'll come back with some guest guest goose . Okay, I have to tell you. I was just looking on eBay where I go for all kinds of things I love, and there it was. That hologram trading card. One of the rarest, the last one I needed for my set. Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams. One of a kind. eBay had it. And now everyone's asking. Ooh, where'd you get your windshield wipers? eBay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying. Just beautiful millions of finds, each with a story. eBay. Things people love. Pool days call for cookouts and lots of laundry. This memorial day loaves. Save $80 on a charbroil performance series four-burner gas grill. Now just $199 . Plus, get up to 45% off. Select major appliances to keep dishes, clothes, and food fresh. Having fun in the sun is easy with us in your corner. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Valid to 527. While supplies last, selection varies by location. See associate or lows.com for details. What time is it? Game time. I think that's the first time I've watched that drop on video. How did it look? Ever. It looked great. What do you think? I still haven't watched it. Gas, gas, goose time. Now, Mike, Mike, it is finally . Yeah, no, I got it. I mean, I've been down this road, brother. How does it work? Um well you just Oh just put it on your own You wear it like a hat and you strap it under your chin and um And you look like a goose. Yeah. It's great. It's really great. Is this gonna fit on my gigantic? I don't know if you can strap it in, but those those goose legs look like they are about to break. You might need to leave those dangling. Um Oh that's real scratchy. Yeah, you can let 'em dangle. I don't know if it'll stay on. So Mike, for those listening at home, looks ridiculous. It's got a goose on it. Or ridiculous. Um no, it's a goose. All right, Al, explain how this game works. We are doing guest guest goose. Yes, sir. We pulled a bunch of people and uh we got a the the correct answer if you uh Alright, let's go. I didn't know I was gonna have to talk today. Wanna try again? Yeah, sure. Why not? You're gonna be trying to guess the percentage of people that said uh nope, I don't want to try again. I got you. Oh this is great. No no no. The best part is there's no editing allowed. There is no editing allowed. We love you. All right. Uh let's go to the deucer's cam here. Okay. And let's uh third time to try. How does this game work? We're just gonna go straight to the scoring. Three points if you guess the correct answer, two points if you are within five percent in each direction, and one point to the other people who are guessing higher or lower than what the guesser guessing. I've never seen these two producers look so happy. Honestly, I think it's five of the six in the room that are pretty happy right now. Oh I'm good. All right. So um to Claire. You pulled some people and people said what they believe the average number of whatever this question is going to be is. We found out what the average is. We're going to guess what that average is, one of us, and then the other people are going to have to guess higher up. It's best to just let us play. Let's play.. And follow along That's literally exactly what I said. Um All right . Am I reading this? Yes, sir. Okay. And this is for me to guess, and you guys can decide higher or lower basically. Oh, this is a great question. Jason and Mike will be guessing higher or lower. Andy will be guessing a percentage. We've been here before. I mean how what percentage of people are stupid? So this has been a famous uh discussion point on the show where some of us are more evolved and uh and then there's these two. Um Your your team small spoon too? Yes. Yeah, good man, Mike. I'm not a Neanderthal. The the vitriol that has hit social media. What percentage of people use the big spoon instead of the small when eating breakfast cereal? I'm gonna say that number is sixty-five percent use the big spoon. That's a good that's a good aim. Sixty five percent. Because I think we did find out that more people use the big spoon. And just to to clarify the rules, if I get within five percent in either direction. In either direction, I get two points. Two points. And if uh and then they get one point if they guess higher or lower. Yep. And if you nail it right on the head, you get three points. Okay. Ooh. Has that ever happened? Yeah. Uh you did one time. Oh, man. Good job. So uh big spoon, you're setting the line at sixty five percent. I think sixty-five percent of people use the big spoon, and th and then the other thirty-five are you guys. All right, I got mine locked in, Mike. The problem is I have my my morals and my principles. Versus the truth. Versus what the truth might be. Uh I'm gonna go I'm gonna go higher. And I will take lower I trust the people. The correct answer is 47%. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Team Little Spoon. Yeah, that means the majority of people are using the Little Spoon. Using the correct spoon. Stop calling it the little spoon. There is some variability between what the big spoon is in the set and the small spoon is in the set. That's like five guys calling it a little cheeseburger. It's just a cheese. Full size cheeseburger. You calling it a little cheese it's just a spoon. Yeah. Exactly. I don't have a little spoon. I have a spoon and I have a big spoon. Yeah. A little spoon is like a teaspoon. I don't use that . I hate y'all. All right, Mike, you're up so Jason got one point there. Nothing for Andy and Mike. All right. My question is what percentage of people have used spor ks more than ten times in their lives? Ten times? That's a lot lot of of sporking. We're a sport house. We have sports. Sporks are great. They come in handy when you're like having a birthday party and you run out of the regular utensils. Alright, I know. I just need to know how old these people are. You think sport No, I'm just saying like the older you are, the more likely it is that you've used a spork ten times. I mean I guess that's fair. Now now Mike, you need to make the selection. Yep. I am going to set my percentage at Oh dude, I have no idea. This one's tough. I've I I'm not jealous. I wrote down my my percentage number. Fifty percent. Oh dang . Uh sabotage. Okay. I got my answer locked. I alright, I do too. I wrote fifty five percent, so I guess I'll take the over. I'll take the lower. The correct answer is sixty seven percent. Whoa! People be sporking. People be sporking . Yeah . All right. Do we ever move away from utensil-related things? Because it's not working for me. Well, we'll move away. That was the last one. All right. Okay. Here's the next question. What percentage of people admit feeling obligated to like friends social media posts? How many so yeah. What percentage of people are telling the truth? That's what this question is. What percentage of people admit feeling obligated to like friends social media posts? Um Okay . I'm gonna go with seventy-five percent. Oh, that's a good guess. I've got mine figured out. That's a good guess. You're at seventy five percent . All right, I Andy you can answer. You did just you're higher or lower. I am higher. I am higher too. Okay. All right. The correct answer is 62%. Gosh darn it. I am wearing the goose, man. You guys are tied. Oh, wait, you have no points? No, okay. Nobody got any points on that round. All right. All right. So currently we have Jason with two and you guys with nothing. So it's anybody's game. Nothing. Yeah. It it's still way too close. It's funny 'cause I w I went seventy five percent to kind of play the the range, but I was gonna be in the eighties. Yeah. That means a lot of people were lying. Yeah. All right. What percentage of people have had their shoes shined at an airport? Oh, man. How many people are 60 and old timing? Yeah. Old timing. Shoes shine at an airport. What percentage? Oh, boy. I can't believe those things are still there. All right. And I have to give the percentage, right? Yes, you do. I love a good show. Twenty percent. Oh, okay. Twenty . Wait, this is only I have my answer. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Point of clarity. Sure. I mean I feel like it's men who get their shoes shined. Are they all being pinged? Like do I need to cut this in half? I don't know. I don't know that he has the answer to that. Yes. Can I change or am I locked? I th I'm fine with you changing. 15. 15%. 15%. Okay. So I will then go higher. I will go lower . The correct answer is five per.cent Yeah. Yeah, baby. Why why do they have them? Why are they? Because because it costs money to get rid of 'em. It was like they built them a long time ago when they were used, and it's like, ah, we're not doing construction around here yet. Actually, to be honest, I don't I don't know . You were part of the five percent? No, no, I've never. I was trying to get you to go higher so that I've never you've had to have had I've had my shoes shine, but not in an airport. That was so specific. Oh, at an airport . I like I really took that as ever. Oh no. Okay. I would have been part of the eight percent. The amount of shoe shine stations that I have seen at an airport They bought them in bulk. They bought 'em a long time ago. Yeah, someone out there's unloading shoe shine stations on people. I just love how grandiose. People love these stones. They're just so big. They're like the closest thing to a throne we have anymore. It is awesome. It is an a really cool experience and it cleans your shoes. But here's the reason, here's the sole reason why it's not common anymore. We're not wearing shiny shoes, man. No one you can't just shine my shoes. Like I no none of us in here have shoes that could go be polished right now. What's funny is if the shoe shine thing actually just offered to like clean my white Nike's They needed to pin. I'd be like kinda like, All right, cool. Like the the like the guys in mall? Do they do that? But yeah, there's little places that do that. But if the shoe shine people, if the union, if they have such a thing ever pivoted and just dying. The union's dying off . We gotta stop shining and just start clean ing. It would be like the shoe clean. I would Mike, you're telling me you wouldn't you oh you got an hour to kill at the airport? Hop up there and have some have your Nikes looking fresh? Yeah, I might do it. All right. You're up. Oh, I am? Okay. Uh what percentage of people have urinated in bottles to avoid stopping during road trips? Say it one more time. I'm sorry. What percentage of people have urinated in bottles to avoid stopping? Yeah. Well, I'm I am gonna go I am gonna go thirty percent. Okay, I have my answer locked in. Yeah, I might get a point here. Yeah, we both. Way too high. I'm thinking it's like a 3% number. Oh, really? The correct answer is 29%. Oh ! What? Mike was one percent off. You're telling me. I think I get a bonus point for the disgrace that I just faced. How in the world, which by the way, this bottles is also Yeah, this is both genders. Somehow both genders. How are you telling me that that number's twenty-nine percent? Because it's not just the dri it's not the driver. I've been in the No, I know it's not the driver, but but our point is like I look, I've got a family, I've got uh two girls, three boys in the family. The boys in my family have peed in bottles before. I've never never experienced the other. And maybe that's common, but I feel like that cuts fifty percent out. So now you're actually if that's true and fifty percent cut cuts out, that means the majority of all people have peed Nabon. Yeah, this is wild, man. That's a wild one. Now we I still get a point though, right? No . Oh, yeah, we both do. We were lower. Oh, that's bull crap. But it's over. I'm goosed. That's bull crap. No, you guys are tied you guys are tied. No, Mike just got three. Why how'd he get three? How did he get three? No, I he said twenty n he said He should have gotten two. Yeah. Okay. I should have got three. Was that you, Falcon? No? All right. I need a chance to change it to a three. If you tie, we ruled this, right? That's right. Yeah, there's you keep it. No, no, no, no. You go to overtime. Yes. Oh, okay, okay. Jason is the final question here. I gotta All right. What percentage of people, when brushing your teeth, keep the faucet running continuously until they are done? You can tell Mike's disg usted by these people. Monsters. I used to be one of these people. But then you learned. Yeah, I mean it just there's no point. Why? Why? The only point. There's only one reason. There what's the reason? If you want to get the water hot for washing your face afterwards. I can accept that because that's you're warming up the water. You're not just not just wasting the water. It takes a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can I can get that. Okay. What percentage of people when brushing their teeth teeth keep the faucet running continuously? I'm going to go with thirty percent. Shh . I'm gonna write mine down just to make sure there's integrity for the show. I I have to do the opposite of Mike's. Can that be my official answer? No, it can't, because you have to guess first. That's why I wrote mine down. For the integrity of the show. No, this is for Mike to have a chance to not go to work time. I wrote it down. All right. I hope I guess the opposite. Thirty. Lower. I went lower. Oh, I'm done. I'm toast. I'm toast. The correct answer is thirty three percent. I don't care. All right. So you got more points. I crushed. Big time. Look at this guy. Yeah. You don't have to wear it now. Okay. So I'm a goose again. Jason's never been the goose. No. Three times, right? Love this game. Yeah, you've you've been nail ing it. Uh although the peeing on the bottle, that's that's blowing my mind. All right. It's right where I thought it would be. I just that's shocking. I d let's just take a straw pole in this room real quick. Deucers, raise your hand if you've peed in a bottle in the car. Well, yeah. Let's take another Paul Raise your hand. Oh, I was five. So Yeah, I mean we're we all have the ability much easier here. Yeah. So I mean br by your math, if you're saying like, okay it's about fifty fifty Yeah, no, he's right. So that's just sixty percent. Sixty percent of men means thirty percent. Is that right? Assuming a fifty-fifty split of gender. I think the math works out there. So if 60% of men, then that should be 30%. I think I think that's right. I think my math is right. Sure. Whatever. Let's take a break and we'll be back with the draft . Okay, I have to tell you, I was just looking on eBay where I go for all kinds of things I love, and there it was. That hologram trading card. One of the rarest, the last one I needed for my set. Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams. One of a kind. eBay had it. And now everyone's asking. Ooh, where'd you get your windshield wipers? eBay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying. Just beautiful. Millions of finds, each with a story. EBay. Things people love. Have you been to Burlington? Our stores are looking hot for the summer. They had a glow-up, so you need to show up to save on the latest trends. From dresses and sandals to swim in beauty, Burlington has something to make every moment of the summer one to remember. Why choose just one style? With our prices, just get it all. Your summer deal ite starts here. Burlington. Deals, brands, wow. Give me some of that, wow. The Spitballer's Draft. Well, we'll take our best shot at figuring out things to do when a midlife crisis hits. This is gonna be tough to figure out. Yeah, a lot of creativity needed here. Um Jason, I mean coincidentally, has the first pick in this draft things to do. I think there's a c and you were the first one to really uh to arrive at that point. Yeah, I mean the there's a I I feel like while there is no clear perfect one on one, there's a classic answer to this, like the marker of the mid left. Unfortunately, you are correct. Is going out there and buying a sports car. Yes. Or whatever obnoxious . That's how I wrote it. Is buy a sports car. Yeah, I I had it written differently and then it's like, no, it's always it's always referred to as a sports car. We joke a lot that it's a Miata, but that's That is the joke I make all the time. It's always the Miata. Exactly. The convertible is the more it's gotta be the convertible. Yeah, for sure. No, they can't. Yeah, they do. Why? I think they do. People can't fit in that thing in the couple generation. We're too big. I don't think they make them anymore. He doesn't think that's a I was pretty sure they make 'em. Uh but they were miniature and you the the fact they were convertibles just because your head couldn't there with a convertible top down. I love that the the making a car like how many people should we be able to fit in this car? Two . Is there no back seat? Because I I would love to see a human try to sit in a back seat of a Miyada. I think they're two seaters. They used to be at least. Okay. All right. I'm gonna I'm gonna go with what I think the you know what I think happens a lot . And uh sometimes it's it's major and sometimes it's just a little tweak. Oh no. But I'm gonna go with plastic surgery. Yeah, they're gonna be plastic surgery. That wasn't on my list. Cause it just kinda 'cause you haven't got it yet. I drew from my own experience. Should put it on your list. Yeah. Seriously . Put it on. You have an on camera job. Yeah, it's a to do list. Okay. Got it. We can I can run through all the stuff you should do. Yeah. Afterwards I'm gonna pick up the free No, I meant all the surgeries you should do. Yeah, he was saying specifics. Yeah. Give me that list. It's a long list. After the show. Yeah. All right. Mike, you've got two picks.. All right Sports car and plastic surgery have been taken. Yep . Alright. So the first one, which I have seen many times as I was growing up, as the the the generation older than me reached into the middle I saw a lot of them start to get tattoos. It's on my list. I mean it's on my to do list. Of course. He comes in tomorrow looking so different. Yeah. You can get a twenty four Miata. Neck tattoo. But the uh the aunts and uncles They got the tattoos? The tattoos started to to flow. What is the t go to tattoo for the midlife crisis? Is it like is it supposed to be something like Artie or is it like uh mean for is it is it young forever? For For for the the aunts in my life it was always something flowers. Okay. Uh all right. This feels like you're being a kid again or something. I I don't know. So they get the tattoos, and then we're gonna say which one do I want to go with? We're gonna go with uh start working out. Yeah. Start working out. Take that oh is that Oh yeah. He doesn't need to write that one down. No, that's uh check checked off the list.. Okay Okay . Um that would have been my next pick. The working out. The working out one. Um I'm gonna go with uh the next most in my opinion the the most uh prototypical midlife crisis purchase that you can make which I'm gonna go with buy a boat. Oh yeah I'm gonna go with buy a boat. I'm into I'm a boat guy now. Yeah. I've reached the middle of my life and it's time to be a boat guy. I'm a sailor. Okay, it's a game. Write that one down. To do buy a boat. Oh, I thought you were saying you bought a boat. No, I have not. Just everything we list. Yeah. All right. I'm up. You are up. You're up. All right. Well, the first one I know. It's going to be the other side of Mike's working out. Um and it's it's to become a health nut. Yeah. Yeah. I like that language though, become a health nut. Yeah, because I remember inching closer to death. It's like I remember all the the people when I was younger that they just reach an age where they just The bio Nordic track. They uh it was it's not the exercise, it's the diet, it's the nutrition. It's like, oh, now they're eating only non GMO organic blah blah blah blah now that's me, man. I'm talking to my kids, and I'm like, this is how you know I'm going through a midlife crisis. These seed oils are very bad for you . So um all right. Health nut. Health nut. I like it. Uh I've got one more pick here . Um and this one is not on the to-do list. Oh is Dior Gray hair. Oh it's not on the list 'cause it's already done. Checked off, brother. Oh yeah. This this beard is not natural. What do you do? I mean it's mostly it's I got like a couple spots of gray that cracked. What do you do if like I have a friend who's just been dying their beard since I've known them. Uh-huh. It wasn't midlife. It was like it was like young adult then that means that's how their beard grows. That's what it means to me. Like if if they've been doing that since they were a young man, that's just what their beard is. And they should keep it up until they're 90. I'm sure they'll fool everyone . All right. This next one. This next one is not prescriptive. Okay. But it is associated with a midlife crisis. So I'm gonna pick it . And that's getting a new spouse. Oh yeah. I mean that is unfortunately generic trade 'em in for another model. Start dating someone way too young for you. Swap out the car . Swap out the girl. Yeah. Midlife. That's right. You're I don't think you're wrong. Unfortunately. So my final two here , uh, I'm gonna go choo. I'm gonna say Start to travel more. Oh , yeah. Well you can. Yeah, well and you I mean you're also at the point where you're like, okay, I'm I'm older, I have some money, maybe I have some time off that I can actually go and do it. See, I have one on my list that it now is very that, but it's specifically solo trips, like a solo camping or backpacking trip. It's like because it's like find yourself on the trail. Exact exactly. Like I need I need to get out into nature by myself. Uh do the Pacific coast. And but I mean speaking of free time, for my last one I will say quit their job. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Say screw this noise. I've wasted my whole life working here. Yeah, go get go find your dream job. Yeah. And um with that , but standalone pick. Okay. It works. Go back to school. It's the midlife. Go back to school and do it all over again. What's up, fellow young kids? So I'll go with that for my own. Can you imagine going back going to college right now in an in-person college ? You go to ASU and you're surrounded by