Final Thoughts And Podcast Wrap Up

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy Mike and Jason Sing bum bumpip the mll Okay, there we go. there we go. All right We got there. I tried to use my phes. Well, you did Very successful. Welcome in one and all to the Spitballers episode three hundred ten I'm going to tell you a story guys. I bought a new belt Okay and what was the hold on, hold on. He a backstory. What what's wrong with the old belt? It's just been a long, long time. It's worn down and it's just an old belt. It still fits This Okay, that was the question. I mean like what's the cause? Belts have this built in mechanism, Th these little holes Yeah You can move them around so it' like the fatter skinny or whatever But I wanted a new belt and there's there's this hot new belt No it's like the whoa And it like There's a hot belt and it' sweeping the nation. It's really nice. It just clasp unclasp but like a seatbelt. You preset it to like your size Okay. So then it's got a yeah, it's kind of like a seat belt. It's got a little bit of small amount of stretch to it R a really small amount. But it it's a nice belt But when you preset your belt, Yeah pre eating If you pre, I mean, because it's not quick to adjust. You just adjust it to where you want it. Right. And it takes a little time. And then you you wear this belt and then you eat food at different amounts of time during the day and you it's like a it's like a warning system B you ate too much ice cream after. Yeah, I mean, there are plenty of times where the pants fit Pants fit fine And then those same pants It' like Oh that button's gotta go. That button's got to come on. So why's Rad alerting me right now because I had a little ice cream at lunch. Why don't you just give it a little click Push that seatbelt button in Relax. You me to take Jack. Yeah, just Jck that belly. Oh there there it is Bel sir, such a good idea. No Do your pants require that belt So the pants don't fit Is that your interpretation of? Oh sure. Yeah. belts are fashion. Belts are not supposed to keep your pants on Belts are keeping your pants on your pants of the wrong size Well, I mean, I don't know about that. Because sometimes you just want it to fit a little bit nicer. I mean, the pants fit But it's a little bit loose, like I feel like they'll slide down. Just like if you were if you were on a trampoline, I could live the day without it. W those pants come down O, the trampoline test. I mean, the trampoline test is ridiculous and maybe. I'm talking one of the small personal trampolines where you're doing they're not to they're not going to show off any of the goods. They're just going to slip. Okay. Well I mean, not all not all the way down. notot all the way down. just like Like like you're saggy Okay like you're low rider. Cool kid from grade school justt Wt that the greatest trend ever? What sagging? Yeah, it's just like, I'm too cool was too cool for my pants to fit. There was definitely a period of time where the sagging got out of control wayay out of control where it was like, it was how below yourindow was your butt. It was below your butt. Oh yeah, I mean it was like, way I see all of your underwear. It's just handome leg. Th your ps. the fashion that infringes movement. is very comedic to me It's just like I want to look so cool that I am uncomfortable likeike a belt Yeah, I mean you said to aject. I thought this was more practical. It wasn't for the fashion. I don't show off my belt all the time. I'm not a big tuck in the shirt guy Yeah, so you don't need to wear a belt The pants don't fit. I think belts are silly You don't wear belts ever? No, Well, you can't put a belt on sweatpants guys. Okays that's fair Would you rather is this real life and we are drafting things you'd like to be famous for you know, inventing a really cool belt Oh yeah That's what we're drafting on today's show. You can follow us at S spitballer's pod Thank you for subscribing, following the show on Apple podcast, Spotify Wherever you're listening and thank you, of course for telling your friends and family about this podcast, new episodes every week We appreciate you You rather Van over on X says, wouldould you rather work down by the river? Yeah, would' you rather work three hours per day and a children's dayca or six hours per day at a doggy day care Okay. I think we went with a good time ratio here because I would much rather Be hanging out with dogs all day. I I thinkink you're wrong So I love dogs. You know I'm a dog person. Yeah loveve dogs I take my donks to the groomer. Yeah they're Golden doodles so they don't shed they got toa Yeah gott be great get haircut. Yeah, they got toa get haircut And when I go in there There's all these cute dogs. It's like a cageless groomer And there's all these wonderfully cute dogs. It's awesome loveove seeing them. My dog enjoys it What is and then including the last time I just went into this place. This was like a two weeks ago. There was a yapper. Oh ye. Oh my gosh. I mean These people had to work and this dog didn't stop. Yeah, That's fair That's real forever. I I I sharing. Yes. I wanted him. I wanted you to experience Five seconds of it because to pay my bill and get my dog to me three minutes. and that was about hour too long So I will then follow it up with You said sometimes There's the ypper M I would Adventure a gu here at Chren's Dcare. There is always a cryer All points of the day. O, you can't kick a kid Right. R Yeah Yeah. Mbe. You can't kick a kid whereas legally no No, I know you're saying you're saying there's cameras. I'm just right. Right. So the cameras went up for a split second. It's funny because I feel like got back to child flying through air. I feel like there's a lot of people whose immediate reaction would be they'd much rather do the doggy daycare If you're like a If you're six out of ten or higher on the day person meter. I just feel like people love That's why they go to dog parks. They like seeing other dogs and and I'm a dog guy and I'm gonna bring my dog with me. Yeah. Well and the best part is I'm like a five out of ten dog person. so I would not choose the dog one. But the doggy dayca, it's it's not a groomer. This is going to be you're just playing with the dogs, keeping them entertained, mayaybe t them for a walk. There is there is some good there alsoso on the b side of the children is and I'm going to assume here we're past diapers. We're not we're not doing that. This is Most daycares, I don't don't think we would be chang of diapers or daycare. Probably past diapers. I don't know that you're past accidents though. No, you're not past accidents. No, that's fair. Although one hundred percent of these dogs will have accidents. Well That's more of a purpose. The does the the germs Okay. Yeah. you're going to get sicker at the daycare in three hours than you will from the dog. No I don't catch fleas or dog diseases. No, no, you don't. You have worms though. But what happens at a doggy daycare where like let's say there how many dogs? Gim me give me an amount. twenty twenty dollars they pooping Do they know where to poop at a daycare?ike you bring twenty dogs to a daycare and if you just let them be Even if they were all potty trained at home, what happens to their poop The I what's poop count? I would venture to guess that most dogs like once a dog is potty trained Like it doesn't go there if it's if it takes a dump in the play area, it's like this dog had a had to go. You didn't let the dog go out I mean, there's going to be It's gott to be a potty area. Well for sure there's a potty area. If there's not a potty area that I mean that's that's pure anarchy. That would be there is not one doggy daycare place in the world that does not have a potty area. The nice thing is that that potty area That is prime. pottytinging area because all the smells of all these different dogs Those dogs are saying you out there too. don't know That's I'm saying the dogs are clearly going to go to the bathroom. That's also how they're gonna be marking that my day carere that A potty area. Yeah. a potty area. Yeah. So it's outdo It's a piece of turf Yeah Um You're right. I mean, the first thing I thought of was you're going to get sick easily in three hours from all those kids but it's half the time for the. dayca Three hours press. So So Al, is this like this is your job now? Is that basically the premise you're like Nine to Oh, not nine to five, but you're working every day at three hours or six hours. Correct Yeah, I'm doing the kid one Yeah, I'm doing the. I can. gu guess how many episodes of TV that is Three Yeah Yeah, and guess how many more episodes of TV you get versus the dogs Three more for one showing of Dunkirk to the kids. if you need to Ill calm them down. I actually would I would choose the kid. Bear him straight. I would choose the kids straight up And I do like dogs, but I love kids. I enjoy Like, I've never you know, I' been in situations, it's not my job, but situations where I'm taking care of a group of kids for a couple hours I've never not enjoyed it. U, so even though I know that this was set up to be like, o that would be the worst, I don't think I'd mind it I agree that it would be the worst. But it's three hours. I can Three hours is That's no problem. here's a snackers get a snack. e sn I'm taking a juice box too. Oh yeah, of what? Of course. Yeah, you doesn't want to j snacks. Yeah Orange slice for you. orange slice for me? What is it one for you Every kid got Yes, every kid gets one one. and then they just get in line one hundred percent. I'm sorry, your vitamin C is off the charts. Yar enough from Patreon writes in, wouldould you rather have a sloth Otter for a pet You know I get a little bit and this is not, I mean, I'm not proud of this I get the Beaver Ottter world a little confart. r ferretsret. Yeah, ferrets are they're like otters, man They're like land otters. Oh yeah, but you can't get those two confused. Well, the shape What their longs shy Rdents. Yeah A they ever got a botwurst and a hot dog confused? They mammals, right? One is on land and what is in the ocean? That's why I call them land otters. But you that's fine. You could say they look water versus I' sayar it, right? C't You cannot possibly confuse. land animal and a and a sea animal. Well, they don't, they don't stay permanently in the water. They come out Okay, so Two things. O, I So if I remve if I removed water from the equation, I just had the and you freed them and the two animals are just in a room. you'd be like, I know which is wch Okay, let me tell you two things. onene first, one hundred percent T it The reason why is because I confuse otters and seals And after Googling Otters Um, That's a lot It's much more similar than I thought to a fair Because a seal, if you could confuse a seal o And pare it. So this whole time you were at the premise of it's a seal. I thought maybe it was a little smaller than a seal, but like pretty much a seal. So I'm looking make so much more. I'm looking at the chart of Daughters are so cute. I'm looking at the chart of weasel like creatures here And they're not far apart. Otters and weasels and ferrets right next to each other on this chart of Yeah because are the same thing of of, you know, it's the same chart where like Badgers are in that chart go stinking beds. Like the top of it is the skunk family. Do otters stink likeike ferrets. Nothings like a ferret. Yeah You've got to always washed off. Yeah I was going to say they they take a dip That's like a little mini bath all the time. They're hopping in that water, they get out. You're not going to stink more after doing that. Farrots Wait or will you D, I don't know. A wet dog. Why Why does a dog smell so bad when it's wet I can have a dog that doesnn't stink, It's not stinky You just I mean, yeep is fine. And then all of a sudden you put water on top of that dock. And it is outrageously appalling the scent of a wet dog. Wet dog's pretty bad. S. Would that happen to an or I don't know. I don't know if the fur is the same. You know, the coke Listen. Let's be clear about something. ferrets smell horrible. They Ferrets were created when someone pooped them out. That's what it was. Somebody pooped the first The first first ferret was like a dump from a bigger animal. It was a bigger animal that dumped a ferret out and then started run have been around Could have been a seal. So I've got I've got two pieces of information here on otters. First, yes, otters have a strong odor and can be smelly. Okay so let's factor that in. Maybe all the weasels are smelly. But fact two, when investigating the scent of otters, the problems and the smells, Oter poop Also known as spprints Okay. Yeah spprint. I took a sprint. rains my ankle. You can't take a sprint because you're not an otter, but an otter can take a sprint and that's its boot.' tell me what I can do H a strong odor that some say smells like Violets or Jasmine tea. Wait wa, wa, wa, wa, wait wait wait wait. You smell like poop to begin with your poop comes out smelling good. If you smell good to begin with your poop smells bad. Yeah, you like Oh hand's got the good smelling poop. They got the flowery r So you're hoping, just to be clear, you got a pet otter You're hoping they take a dump so it smells better. So it smells better in your house. Is, did you just make some jasmine tea? No, that's my honghtor, man. You just took a dump. That's my honor. He just pooped in your bed. You're welcome. I find this very difficult. Dude. It's a sprints. Sprint. Oh my gosh, it's the best Cologne name ever. Sprints It smells like lavender like violet Jasmine tea. The odor may come from their diet of fish, crab and other seafood I wonder if I ee more seafood. I don't I'm gonna try it out, man I don't think if you lived exclusively off those things that it would change the aroma of of your dump Only one way to find out my science. So those is otters versus sloths who are adorably man. A sloth. I might have one now. I would never know Like if you if you have a slot, you don't know. that's Is slot in a stuffed animal. Is there a difference between them? Like they it sits there. They're awesome They are So cute And they make no sense as an animal. likeike you're telling me this thing is out in the wild. And this is happen there's a predator that wants to eat a sloth and the sloth's like, you can't catch me. People that want to argue for or against evolution. I mean there the argument is sloths. There's no way this to you. There's no way this sl has evolved to a point where it has survived. L that was just put there because How could anything that wants to How could it exist? It is literally in a jungle full of things that will kill it And God's like, yeah, throw one of these in there. It won't be moving It will be moving. I don't understand how they're alive, but I have an update on sloth smells Oh, they gotta be smelly. No. Sloths are not stinky. In fact, they don't have a strong odor at all. They can't sweat because they don't build up a sweat. Sloths have evolved to avoid being detected by predators by not sweating and instead smelling like the jungle So all the other animals supposedly evolved to sprinting, running, evading And they're like, nah. Well, they also d They got evolved to sitting. They climb slloths spend the majority of their time up in the canopy coming down only one time per week to relieve themselves So you want to talk about you don't got to be picking up Dogy doodoo, you get a sloth, you got one cleanup per week. It's interesting that a sloth that barely moves that lives in a tree is just hanging around and has chooses to clap to descend for their dump, not just Well you don't want to poop where do you sleep. You should drop one it's not poop. It's proroperite Sloth poop is called crop cop for a light That's a new beer. Look copper light Copper light I'll take two copper lights, please. It's just a glass of sloth dunk I when people are naming stuff what guy came on is like L we need to subname all the poops. We can't just call it poop. everyvery animal has to have their own poop name. Give me an animal because I justoogled what is poop call G me a seal. What is? since you thought I'm sh the sprints or whatever I need It's called Sat. Oh There.. All right. So maybe we just founded the two in. don't think you don't think us I almost said skunk. a sloth up in a tree can just drop one like a bird would drop one Why do they gott to come down Look at they hang from the branch. It's weird because everything I'm seeing, they do come down It' The hanging rain is what I would call it. Maybe it's because they hang upside down a lot You know what I mean? Like thats No, you don't want that. You don't want upside down upside down. you ever seen a bat go to the bathroom No No preay. No, they don't they turn Oh they turn right side But it takes a slot too long. He's like, Oh no. Oh no. It's coming. I gonna scat my pants again. Oh my God God right Oh I'm in a copper had a copper ultra? Oh Low calorie. I doe the answer is the sloth. Oh for sure, it's a sloth. Also as cute as an otter is Oh my God. It is not nearly as cute as a sloth. Sloths are a Aorable from like a you know, like the the that just They smile you U down slowly the can've quickly. If a sloth hurts you, that's on you, man Right because you would see it coming a mile away. likeike it's like a punch that's just you just take one big step back. You know what I mean? Like Rand U Okay tries to slap you it takes twenty minutes. Can sloss hurt you? Yes. slloss can hurt you. Caws grip A sloth's grip can cause bruising or deeper injuries if they latch onto a person Again, I recommend the big step back. U we got some bad news for you Sloth poop is not called copperlite. Copperlite is fossilized feces of any kind. If you got AI. If you Google what is Sloth poop called, then Google's AI says it's called copperlite The Smithsoniian's National National Museum of Natural History has a collection of fossilized sloth poops. But they're just referring to the fossiliz. So it's just googs Ggs youre let me down. I mean, it's still cool that we got a name for fossilized poop All right,, you know glass half full type of guy right there. All right Um, I know that means I can have cop you could copr someday. I just gota save it for a while Yeah, how long does it take to become a fossil I' on it nobody knows. Where's the best place to put it to fossilize I'm honest Dick, we got to wait. And how but wouldn't it just go away? Is too biodegradable? No, it takes several thousand years. Right Thousand years Well, this is according to Google AI. so probably twelve minutes. I don't know. I mean, they have no idea. Oh All right. u We'll take a break. We'll come back with some is this real life Is this real life Well, it is it is that time We've got a segment here where we're going to share three real life stories. that we You know, it's's hard to believe It's hard to believe. So who else to begin Somebody want to volunteer m mine's pretty short and sweet here. which the article It does That leaves me with some questions that they did not answer here U But look, we've all had a bad time on the job. Go to work. somethingomet goes wrong said perfect And now you have to spend the majority of your day doing something that you don't want to be doing. Well A flight attendant on a flight from Hong Kong to New York had to spend the sixteen hour trip Holding up a broken bathroom door. I have heard of this one What? sixteen hours? So they the door cameame off its hinges three minutes after the plane left the Hong Kong International Airport And then we don't got no duct tape? I don't I dont know that's what I'm saying We're like can't What about the ductape? But, let's use Dolores. You can't tape the door because the door needs to The door needs to work and function, right? because there's only that bathroom because right. Well, on an international fight, they're going to have more than one backroom. You lock the door with a person That's what the had to do. And then what do you do? like a three knock system when you're done. I got a lot of questions here, but they're saying in this article that this flight attendant spent the entire sixteen hours holding up the door Oh, so this thing really came off the hands. Yeah. Oh yeah. This isn't just like the locking mechanism broke. This is correct. The door We can't lay this on. we don't have a door anymore Yeah. There's no, we can't lay this on the ground either. Yeah Where do we put this? Yeah I guess you don't have a place to store a big door in a flight and it would be dangerous, right? It would be dangerous. A loose door is one of the biggesters I have Turbulous door tumbling through the cabin. Watch out for the door. It's like a beach ball at a party except it's a door. man decapitated by flying bathrooms. Yeah. The door would be dangerous. I don't they normally make you Maybe that's why they held but sixteen hours. sixteen hours. you hope they tipped? I Well I imagine this is just like put your back against it. It's not having a Yeah.s it's holding it up. That's a long time to lean against a wall sixteen hours? Well, it's a long flight. I mean, it's the long time And the image is, it says the flight attendant appear to be holding the door from behind as she sat in her seat for takeoff. So I'm imagining somehow Her legs were able to hold it up, but still So ourours is That's ridiculous. This article writes All the jokes itself. It's a real article.s from november thirteenth And Oh that's recent And I'm just going read you the headline, but then I'm read you the sub headadline. and then I'm gonna read you the details Wind bllowing out of Uurus Makes it hard to probe. NASA complains. Yep, I get it. a quote rare intense wind event may have messed up our opportunity to probe Uranus. been there. Scientists have found that a rare wind event during NASA's Voyager two flyby of Uranus in nineteen eighty six may have seriously messed with our understanding of the planet And while the jok'es write themselves, the research is very real. So Rember when they were trying to push urinus I don't remember I would never made for that. There was was an effort for. I feel like that there was a time period there where we were all children Cackling when we learned our solar system and then no urin. No It's uranus. and we're like, no, it's not. Nos. It's uranus Loser So yeah, that that's it. NASA was really complaining because they can't probe Uranus. How did ever land on that name You know what I mean? Like the first was there was there a mister Uranus who found? Well, I think, you know, that doesn' They're all Roman goss Yeah like Jupiter and Saturn and which soon. I mean, you take the step forward There was a Roman god named Uranus. Um, Yes. He was a Greek god of the sky. the of the bkg. The father of the Titans The son and the husband of Gia. So it was Eth. He was Roman mythology. He it was known Yeah, he's the father this God of this guy and father of the Titans Interesting. Wow. Yeah. and your your anus is actually where Um The the Titans come out. No Yeah I was getting the ferret. I was getting the ferret. I was finding him bringing him ferret gives birth It's okay Jason, is this real life? All right, so we've all been to a place where maybe there's some pesky birds or something trying to steal your food, you know sho good away. Yeah yeah. Is that the beginning of your like comedy line in the front of the comedy chel we can all relate, really Andy' probably like this since he likes to kick dogs apparently New Jersey manan admits to decapitating Siegel after attempted to take fries from Daughter I mean, Wit, that's a disproportionate reason. That is a little dude, I do not want to marry that girl. Like That dad That dad has a little bit of an overreaction for. So when I heard you say it, my first I wasn't thinking Seagull when you said, do that fy bag. I mean, a seagl's a big bird. I hate it. Yeah. yeah. I would be super afraid to like handle a seagull to begin with much less rip its head off. I feel like I could rip the head off of a pigeon if I had to Push comes to shell likeike just physically, much eas physically it would be, But like you're starting to get into a category of bird that. you could you could take a seagl. They're just More rambunctious. Do you twist To get the head? I think I'm going to have to. I'm starting to think. Remember the old the old the koolid Things when we were a kid. Yeah, the twisty. Yeah. Yeah, that's a seieagl's head. Yeah, you gotta twist that. It's not gonna be. Okay. gonna be. If dad made a juice drink with a little fake head on top and you had to pop the head off the drink thatd have been great. And then it's cherry What if Oh yeah. Yeah. so he she took a fry, the bird took a fry and lost its life lost its life There's no report of whether the guy got the fryback U illegal? Oh yeah, it's illegal. He was released ongalgal further courtinate. Yeah, he he ripped the head off a bird. off course, that's illegal. Yeah. What do you mean? of course You can't just go around killing animals. No, you can't like but for just cause. seelf defense. Where's the line though? Your Honor. You could kill a spider or an anal Jason. Where you kill a spider You should kill This man stood his ground against the sea. You telling me I'm getting arrested if it was a pigeon No one cares about Those are fly did you did a service. It's so weird that we judge the animals's worth by their visual. It's said it. It's true. A rat I rip the head of a vulture. I kill rats all the time. Buts There's rats at the cabin. we put rat traps out, becauseuse I don't want rats in my cabin And that's You know, when you really think about it, that That's crazy I mean? It's a little crazy. It's a little crazy But a little because I because there's no guilt You know what I mean? No one else cares because they all know how ugly it is. Right? When they bring mey bring disease. Yeah, pigeons, disease. Rat, disease. Yeah, but I'll bet seagulls bring disease. they just aren't talked about it because they're beautiful D wouldn't call them beautif You wouldn't call a seagal beautiful. Oh. Seagalss are gorgeous. I don't think I've ever thought about that. We're confusing it with a goose. No you're thinking of like a macaw P think they're seLals again, don't you? Oh, seealss a beautiful bird. It's fine. Yeah, Beautiful is reserved for the highest tier bird A seagull is like a sea pigeon. It really is. I mean there is I've not been annoyed with a bird more than a seagull in my life because an will ruin your time at the beach. If you have any food or with you at all. Well, just rip its head off I mean, that's apparently The move but again, illegal. you will find yourself released on summons with a future court date U I am on a scale of one to ten, Mike, how beautiful is a seagl Because Chad GBT, I said objectively Rate the beauty of a seagull on a scale one ten And artificial intelligenceence objectively rate those things. Yes. it says objectively, I would rate the beauty of a sequ. hold on, hold on hold on. I'm going I'm going to put my number at A three. I'm going to go seven point Six out of ten That's not bad That's not bad. I'm not ten is not beautiful. No, but that's on a scale of beautiful abbove average beauty guess I guess that's true How it's the moel. Beautifulir. Yeah, exactly. How about a weasel? A Weasel is rightady eightight out of ten. What Weasels have sleek, slender bodies. and a sense of elegance in their movement. Oh actually, Weasels are super cute. Wait, whats? I did not realize that. So you can't rip their head off No, no, no, no, no, no. This has been a very disturbing episode of the of, you know, the sppitball. Hey Spitwalls I've been on Weasels. We Yeah,' a good look. They got bad PR. you, you know, you weasel something Yeah, you know. Yeah, weasel is bad. Yeah. I think Frozen really hurt the the Weasel family with Weston Wesleton Also weasel poop is still Sat. So Sat is really covering a wide range Now what was the second animal? What was also being a weasel predated that movie, but quite a bit Sure, that part did But just the derogatory Right. I mean, you're familiar with Roger Rabbit I am familiar with Roger E He was a bad gu Rud Rbbit, the we No the we the Weasels, Yeahah Yeah, weasels are like sneaky Is it because they're small, slender? Yeah, but they to weasel their way in four places I love draft. Bitballers draft All right, Al Bordin has selected A special draft for us today. thingsings we would like to be famous So instead of our podcast. Right. instead of this fine weasel based podcast. Ver famous Great A celebrities. Yeah So we we already but if If we had to be sa or something else right It would be whatever we're going to draft. And you get the first pick? I get the first pick. I love having the first pick in this one. Um, there are twoo that I really want. And I think one is like a home run. h I think it' give back to. I think it could. I don't know whet it will, but I think it could The one that I want the heart wants. The heart wants what the heart wants, it be to be an actor. I grew up wanting to be an actor. you want to be I went the same as an actor. Yeah, I went to, you know, acting directing That was where I was headed until business life took over. Yeah you quit Well, hey,, you know, I'm a retire young. I'm a Sam Jackson did start act tr was like sixty. And he made up for it. Yeah. I'm a make up for it. Now IMDB. what u I mean, you you're a very funny fella where you Hoping for a comy likeike had you gone far enough into the path of like, I want to be a dramatic serious method actor or I want to be I want to do comedies. I want do really I really, really, really wanted to do both. Genuinely like because I did a lot of like comedy impro trying to Jim Cry this thing I wouldn't I mean, I know Jim Kerry got into some serious things, but I think that that great of an actor Um I loved him his sunshine, baby. see, that's the one I always hear about. I've never seen it. That's outrageous that you never he It isold on. It It' one of the best movies ever. Where is Jim Carey and your panthe five for sure. And you haven't seen Eternal suunshine? It So what happened was it was like whatever whenever that came out Carry and Winsley. perfect. I missed it for a moment. Yeah I've always felt like and you've got a chance still. I can't go available Yeah. No, it's go back. Yeah. do you think it's going hold up? Yeah Really? Yeah, you. Well, maybe I'll I'll put that on my to do. that's a story driven It' great It's great. So actor, famous act famamous act U'm W world' sexiest man. Oh, that's a good one That a good one. Yep. That's a good one. Yeah I see why you would want that so much. Yeah. No I makes sense, right? L the opposite of right? likeike what want you want what you can It's unachchievable. Like you stillt think you could be an actor, but I'm going with something That is true. Most of the things are not achievable. But Yeah No, worldld sexiest manan is my answer. It's the number one thing. Look If Jason Kelsey pop up someone in the running. You never know man att this stage of his life And this minute This is not a knock on Jason Kelsey's aesthetic. kind of appears. No, it's not. it's more of a Jason Kelsey. former center for the Philadelphia Eagles. likeike this is not someone who is out there on people magazines. T is now, but like Maybe. All right so I'm uped in. Yeah, you're up. All right, roock star, baby. Yeah. We'll start off with the easy one. I put that one way low on my list because it Could you sw your life? It belonged to you. How could you make it before you dropped it Um A while. A little while? I think I can eighty years no, some of them do. They look like old catcher's ms, but they make it. I think I could do it. it obviously far more difficult Or easier now that you have children. you're like, o man. Gta h room. Yeah gotta make that money, kids. Another tour. you just got done with your tour. I gotta go But the life on the road I think I could do it. Yeah. think I could do it. give it a go. You're famous man. and got to. The next one I'm going to go with This has this is a I think a newer thing for America. in terms of peopleople just becoming famous for it Being rich. Oh, that was my that was the one I wanted to come back. richest man in the world. being just famous for being for having money. Yeah, because you know what I also have then? Yeah, lotots of money. It's a two for. It's a That's why I wanted I wanted that one so bad because of what it insinuates. I do nothing except be rich. Yeah. There are people that that's what theyre family. Yes, I know. it just being db being rich. What is that like to be favoring society? Well, they're rich. They're so rich. I know their name. Yeah, that's u that's That's a good answer All right, I went with worldld sexest man for the first so I'm going to go ahead. You know I was about to say it and now I'm playing the game of whether I can sneak it by Jason So yeah, I can. So I'm going to go with a F famous athlete. Okay famous athlete is the answer that I'm going to go with because that one was not getting by Jason take I was the best athlete in the world and famous for that because I got to play a sport. It's not just I'm not just not doing something. I'm doing Somet at the highest level and I'm famous for it. Next on my list would have been NBA player. Yeah. So that that would have taken. So if you got to pick your sport You get to be famous for any sport because I almost I picked a sport. If I had to pick one It's a little bit nuanced because it's like some are more I football because the biggest sport. I see football didn't make my list because I'm like But ye I don't want a concussion, right. I just two sport I'll be a two sport athlete. Super famous Yeah, like a Deon Sanders. Bo Jackson. the baseball And I will trin s sports. I'll be doing my own like you know, football jam movie Ill be doing it I like it. I like it. You know, they're supposed to make a skate jam. I heard.. It was like all but green lit and then it fell apart. That is Tragedy. Yeah. ' skate jam Yeah That would have been awesome All right. I will go with famous athlete. Yeah All right, so I am up And I get two picks go. with Uh, look, There's not many people planet that would say maybe there is not thing more famous on the planet. than being the president of the United States. Yeah, the president President's on my list. And that fits. The nice thing is that When I am president Both sides will come together because my platform is one that you want My entire running platform is to give you what you want. Yeah Who doesn't want what they? I'm curious were you ever President of the stududent Council Not student council because you didn't give them I didn't give them what they wanted. So you were president of what then I was president of the theater Yeah P P of the nerds. We were cool, man We were super cool. But yes, I president. president, Pident president. And then I guess Since we, you know, this might be just too close So what we are already famous for Ob I'm gonna take it anyways. I'm gonna go stand upp comedy. Yeah that is reallyally. If I had not taken being rich, standup comedy would have been next to. It's great because it's interesting. So you'd want tona be famous for standup because you think people just think of you so positively.' positively. And its and it's very, I mean, if we're talking fame here, it's solo It's. it's incredibly. Yeah, it's like you're a football player that you're famous, but like you you put a helmet on where don't always know what you Maybe if was golf, mayaybe Tiger Wiz that's a bigger. Yeah, exactly. So when you're a famous comedian you you make a lot of money You're funny and people adore you People, you know what I mean? Like if People love comedans. and some of them are more polarizing, but Oh sure, I mean there's a few lends You have your legends, right? And just the it would be So amazing and so rewarding. Like we've done live shows for our football podcast And we've all gotten Big laugh from a J And when you get a big laugh Holy crap, man. That feel pretty special. That is a drug. Oh is a drug. And so like if your entire job is just make people likegh and when you're when you're a top tier stand up comics. You would have just have to walk out Be people are so excited. They're ready to laugh and they're ready to laugh that you just your presence is hilarious.. And by the time you're there and you're a big time and you go out there That crowd's already drunk. So it's easy That's true. That's true. All right. I played the gamble and it wasn't a concern. It came right back to me Um The highighest IQ in the world I smartest man. If I was known Right Pow is famous. are literally being smarter than everybody else People come to me trying to get my answers on all the things in the world. That's pretty cool It's like being the brain King. So you're really drafting things that are out of your reach That's right. That's right. Okay. I'm be sexy, smart. Im be the brain King Sir, how shall we refer to you? I need just take you to brain. You call me the brain King? I am the brain King U the braining Brain King has exposed brain. Oh for sure. This is its crown. The pulsters Yes. Oh my gosh. I'm pretty sure the Brain King becomes the villain. I Oh yeah, you know, we figured out the name of this podcast. All right, Mike T p right Uh, so one of them It's not Brainking already taken This sorry it's not as easy. like I don't even know how you would make it in to be known for this because of where we are in history, unless you go Solar system wide, but a famous explorer Like a like a Lewis and Clark. someomeone you you are going Gllen. Yeah, yeah, you are going. Fearlessly because you don't know what's out there You're going into a place of land that has to to your knowledge has never been visited or explored You're like, I'm going to go check this out In't willing to do it One of the things on my list and I'll just lose it right here by bringing it up. and I don't know if you want to inherit it. or just I know what my next pick is, so Okay. Well, I was just going to say like famous Explorer nowadays would be what I wrote down, which a space traveler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a new frontier, right? Yeah. I mean to me, when I'm thinking Eplore, that's that's kind of built in now because it's like I can't go explore the United States. We found the edge We can't We found all the edges. I feel like you can't explore anything. likeike we got Pictures of well the ocean, jungle, rainforeorest, like but it is weird that like There's a whole, you know What one hundred fifty years ago? There's a whole group of people traveling west in the United States knowing not what was before each step. Yep. That's weird. It can't even comprehend it. It's wild and that that's like that would be rewarding. That would be kind of special And the other one, it's I want to be The world's greatest and most accurate meteorologist you're famous for being an amazing meteor. I have never gotten a weather forecast wrong in my life. Okay. Iagine the power. You would be the only one. Imagine If you if if we actually hand someone who could do that I'd be like three months O. I wouldn't go there is going to rain And you're the only one that know off course. That'd be everyveryone would tune in every day. And would be the most awous person. Do you know how long I would work a day minutes. Beuse you just know. No, I just well I just show up to to the broadcast. I point at the green ski, and then I'm my green skireen, and I'm, I'll see you later. Nobody It's all in your head. Nobody's thought about the Greay Sports Almanac from backack to the Future, but it's only got weather reports for the next day. Yeah, is there to be a betting market for weather All right, so I am the world's sexiest man. I'm an athlete. I'm the world's smartest man and get is that plus three hundred. Sometimes you stumble into your last pick on accident Things I'd like to be famous for King I am the king. The king. I am the Bra king the like of England Sure. Okaykay. Orving or like, you know, anywhere the King of anywhere of. I want to be famous for being the king the King of England. sureure. Okay. If you Bye in Iowland Like Can you declare yourself a king? That's what I'm asking. Like if you buy an island, not of if it's you're not like sovereign and you're like, I'm the king And okay well I go to it in uncharted An island You buy an island, can you It separated What is the Can you annex? Yeah, probably is the process What if I build an island I'm gaining sovereignty of land. I'm more just saying like, does the world have to recognize me as a king. Can I be a king of a cruise ship If it's my own ship on International W I Yeah, you you're going to be that's not my answer, but the king will go king of England since they still have no. I think I think you gotta be a captain if it's cruise I am just somewhat attracted to the regal Yeah. I think the the it's more almost going back in time a little bit to when that was a thing, but I will say to be famous for being a king is kind of crazy. I'd be a mercul king. I'd be a great king. be the best king. I'd be the Brand king. took's a k And he's the smartest way life. President of the United States and you took a King of England And I will say this While I will do amazing things far more valuable as the President of the United States and make everyone happy job would be way more fun to be king You know what I mean? Like if you could really pick like, would you want to be the king president like the king does nothing. Yeah thinking does what he wanton. That's exact What is your job? whatever I feel like doing. My job is to do exactly what I want. What's your job today, sir Brunch Yeah.. and you very important And in the You know, the White House would be a really cool place to live, but I feel like a king's castle's way cooler, man. Oh for sure. So if you had a moat? Is that all modernized? Is that castle like Buckingham? Isn't that where Is like, I mean, that's all like you got HVac in there and stuff. Oh for sure yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the king is not living without HVac. Okay. of all the things to retrofit. Stone seems tough. But Mike or Jason,re you're actor president, stand up comment. you're living your dream You're famous for those three things and what's one more? Yeah, I mean, I'm looking. I've got a list of things that, you know are cool that I don't want like an author Um, you know, a fam author. It's on my list. I'm not going to take that. U Stephen King leads a pretty good life. Yeah, that my dark horse pick that I'm not taking as well is just because this is another what the heart wants voice being famous for your voice Morgan Freeman or the British But that's not your pick. That's not my pick. I'm gonna go with a like you got cut off, but it was just you know like Morgan Freeman or the British. The British guy like No, you stped at the British Well all the British. Yeah. Well their fav for their voice. Yeah Yeah Um, but I'm going to go with a tech entrepreneur So when you are one of the famous ones you're, you know, you're So you want to be like pale and Now Steve Jobs devoid of any I want to change the world. You know what I mean? one divorce at a time. It's in addition to I get it It's rich. I've done something that has changed the technology always were look decent and in a black a turtleneck Turtleneck. Yeah Uh some of the we finished up. We've all got our four things to be famous for. Some of the final considerations on my list, Nobel Prize Olympic champion Ive always thought Olympic champions is kind of special because you're like it was Michael Phelps, like you just I know you're working in another three years, but it seems like you're only working for like eight weeks every four years. You're working extremely hard in What about saving someone from a runaway train? That's a little more. I don't think people get famous from that But I would. You can get like small town fit. This implies that you would get famousure So then in that if if if the implication No matter what equals Extreme fame. Yeah I would have I would have drafted farting You know what I mean? Like if I'm famous, like dude, everyone knows That fart was so epic that he is famous worldwide. I mean, aren't the what animal was that that had the good smell and farts Oh, that's the the otter the Otter. mean we want to get famous Theyome an odter. H have Rosy Farts? You guys got any others of jasmine? No you good good What did we learn today I learned that copperlite is fossilized dooky I learned that the smartest man alive is also known as the Brain King. And I learned that Jason has a tough time with otters and seals. That was funny. You were like, how can you confuse a ferret and an otter? Made no sense to me. One of them is the seal, you know? One of them is the size of a boat. Goodbye everybody. Goodbye Thanks for listening to the Spitboallers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out sppitballerspod dot com