Kevin Hart Roast and Podcast Wrap-up

He's Dave Shunka and he's Graham Clark. And together we host stop podcasting yourself. W. He weelcome to episode number nine forty eight of Stop Podcasting Y yourself. My name is Graham Clark. and with me as always, this is a man who gosh What I say about this man He's a great man One of the greatest men Possibly the greatest man of all time, Mr. Dave Shunka Do you know that Wezer song from their uh sort of their u Bad period that has been going on for twenty five years called the greatest man who ever lived somethingomething it's like based on a Jhaker him Really? I feel like that's the title of it. It wass like the greatest man whove ever ever lived based on a shaker hymn. It sounds like U What's the guy that's like has the giant beard and does recordings Giant beard. Does recordings. Doctor Demento? Doctor Demento. Really you know, wasn't doct.or Dento. He's just getting better with time th. Is he dead? U He might be dead. Doctor Hill nicell. What the hell is his name? Rick Reuben I feel like that would be a Rick Rubin move. like make a song out of a shhaker lyric or shak All right, Can I tell you this right now? I wonder if it is a Rick Rubin album? What did we say it was called the greatest, the greatest showman That's very You know that. Oh sorry. Yeah from the Red album detective. U It is a variation on a shhaker theme M And was this produced by Rick Rubin? Yes. You guys are good. He is rubinousque. Oh yeah. I have heard that from musician friends who like in the at a certain time were like, o, maybe we'll try to make it in the States and like had agents and were in negotiations with different record company things and like, oh, what producers would you work with? And they had like a list. And if you want to work with Rick Rubin, you need like a hundred songs. like Oh wow. his job is to just be like, I like these ten. Oh so he just sort of picks pre existing songs. Yeah. That's his that's his that's his magic. Yeah. That voice you're hearing is our guest today, returning guest on the podcast. He's a comedian. He is a bingo caller He is a producer is the man that makes Little Mountain Gallery run. It's Brent Constantine. Brent Constantine. here is back for another year tied to a very specific event. And that event is Rick Ruben line nineteen eighty nine San Francisco earthquake. Yeah. And let's never forget. We're hoping it turns around for everybody down there. They have been rebuilding Ruben's done a lot of work down there. They Give me a hundred ideas for city improvements. I like more garbage cans. Tieing up brog shops, please Don't tie up your dog in front of a store. Is la? Yeah he's picking ones that could be possible lots. He sees a hundred dogs and only the top ten can be tied up. What are the of the top ten dog. What are the top what's the thing you would improve this used to improve this setity city And you also, you studied city planantning. I did. I studied sea noss I went got my urban planning, urban , I can't even remember. Yeahah. in twenty twenty, graduated class of twenty twenty. Oh COVID. Yeah. So that final semester, COVID had started, my thesis project compleplete garbage. I'm very surprised I got through but you know, they gave everybody a pass. Yeah That year everybody gets up Yeah. Does anyone have any questions about that at all? It's like if you're in university and your roommate commits suicide anyway.'s on all your any of your dogs. Yeah. H here's my answer to my own question. Okay. G. if you carry an umbrella under an awning Imediate hiring. Yeah, those are the rules People walk on any side of the sidewalk they want to these days. This This is the thing Ive noticice when I go to another city, everybody seems to be able to understand the right and left conundrum of walking. And then like people coming, people going. And then it comes to Vancouver and it's like S scatattershot. Like peopleople are just all over the world. Let's walk ive in a row. armed link side and side. U Do you think it should be always on the right side Unl you have unless you have an umbrella, you don't have an umbrella. And that's why my friends, you need to remember this simple rhyme. No for it? Yeah When on the left Umbrella is best when on the right. That is a very simple run. Yes under the light, It's not really related to the rain. It has to be raining. Yeah. Yeah, but when you have an umbrella in this city and I assume other cities and you're going where the awning is on your right hand side, you go to the left. so people that didn't have the foresight to purchase or find an umbrella can walk under the awning. That's a good call Well here's in them cumbersome Yeah, Brale is yeah. Yeah The there's what about when it's construction the little pathway that construction m. Oh yeah, construction through the pathway. Yeah. like check out these gas wways.'s my It's like you remember it? Yeah. It's a simple rhyme from the sea. If somebody's coming through it, do you just stand on the side or do you make squeeze? Well for three alphas like ourselves, I assume we just push through as fast as possible When they announce this little Canadian elbows up thing, I'm like, I'm always elbows up anyway because That's how I go through life. That's how to get people up from under and on. hereere's my new thing that annoys me about walking through this city. is cyclists on the sidewalk Yeah where they're not allowed, but they're like a real cyclist who Cycles on the street. by then like, oh, I'm only going half a block on the sidewalk. so I'll just cycle on the sidewalk dismount. Yeahep. And also don't you dare bring that speedy scooter up on the sidewalk? That is you mean e cloud bikes, the delivery bikes? Yeah, Ol scooter. Right. Yeah. I've got a great my overseing involves one of those. I can't wait to share it later in the show shouldh we get to Noah? Yes. get to Noah's Bnt Yeah. you' re Brent Thanks so much for asking. Constant tone or constant team. I could answer to each. Constant craving. Constantly craving, yeah They dairy. U me too, man. I'm thinking about it right now milkshakesed. Just a glass of milk What do do? Tub ten Top ten milkshake. Milk things. Okay. T ten dairy products. Let's alll Okay obviously, ice creams number one. Well I'm vegan vegan ice cream. Yeah, vegan ice cream, coconut base. Cconut.ut. We're gonna to make this, we're going make this work for you as well. Yeah Thanks a lot. Oh, there's no good yogurt for you. so well, there's lots of great yogurt Yeah there's great yogur You can have yogt in the Mandalorian. The technology, the advancement in non dairy milks has just, you know, it's exceeded anyways's So is yogura the best non dairy yogurt? It' actually it's quite heavy and fat. I find it pretty unpleasant, but it's one of the premium vegan yogurts you can get premi vegie. A premi vegie. can get at your choices, at your nesters Now if you have something that's lactose removed, is that okay No, no,'s you're not allergic. right? Yeah. Yeah. It's a personal choice that I made. Yeah How long you been a vegan for fifteen years? Yeah. twenty away before. Way before this way before COVID. This was back when you only drink soy milk. And now nowadays soy milk goes for like two dollars a quart because they know it's garbage. what do you do? Do you oat Yeah like I like oat. I like oat. Yeahah, because you know, like elbows ellbows up. We got to support our Canadian oat farmers. Yeah It's why Cheeros every morning. For the oat made withian oat. Yeah the iron. What's that? It it's hot Is it h? Iiron And one gram of sugar. unless you get the good onees. No yeah. Gram of sugar or gram of sugar. It's gram nice medium betade, yeah U What was I I got my phone out because I wanted to look somethingill out. It's gone. The next Wezer album that's coming up. Oh God, I can't wait. Yeah. Are they someomebody now that you go see in a No they're playing the arena They're playing the arena, don? They're a little mountain in a couple weeks. yeah, what are they doing? I stand up. They're doing it twenty four hours in Weeezers. Yeah Oh, can you dare to dream? People got their friends to come and write songs on. Paper. Yeah y talk Ted Yeah. and then Number one You get what? a signed Weeezer. No, I guess I was going to ask what are the now top ten maybe top five milk alternatives these days. likeike if soy used to be number one and it's now at the bottom of the list. It's at the top. I'd say it's a top. o's a rich creamy glass that because you're Allergic to Dairy No, I just don't drink it. Oh okay. But do you drink oat milk? You like oat milk? I will go oat milk. I will go soy milk. Okay. either to me are equal in the equation. And there's cashew, almond. Ooh, pricey, right? Rice milk? Oh Rice milk And I assume a variety of others that I've never experienced. Seems like you could make milk at pretty much any. Well, if you crush it up does it turn white? Well, you got yourself a milk Another good day at the milk lab, booy. supporting those Canadian rock farmers.. Oh there's a cow's milk. Oh no, we're not having dairy. No, this is milk from a ground up cow. Yeah. exactly this is what squeeze. M. We only have to die it a little bit. Yeah one gram of sugar. It's not dairy, but it's not vegan Yeah tryry it mooving a little. Yeah Now, uh u That's it Good info for anybody who's deciding to go vegan. Yeah. Do you go do you fuck around with cashew cheese or anything like that? Yeah, I fuck around with it a little bit. Yeah. There's Cash you, cash me outside How about that prrotesting this store Uh Yeah, it' it's okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's not great. I mean, it's sort of like a waxy cube U some of it melts a bit better. than others. some of it, you're just eating a smaller cube. Yeah. I see you driving around downown in a waxy cube and I'm like Cashew He wasn't listening anything you're say. heard Iice. That was the radio editor. And Rick Rubin's like, Okaykay, what are the other ninety nine The u I went to a place called And it doesn't advertise itself as it's just called virtuous Pie, which I just walked into to get a pizza And then I got the pizza and I ate a part of the pizza and it had cashew cheese on it. and I had a massive allergic reaction. Oh. But they don't say anywhere, you just would intuitively have to know that Was it good No, it was like, what is wrong with this pizza? Like two bites and it was like something is off. This pizza sucks. The best vegan pizza I ever had was at Barbarellaly that it was on Frasier. I don't know if it's still there. It's gone. And RIP. And it came out. it was so good. It was like vegan. cheese and pepperoni and I ate like three slices and I said to the server. I was like, this is the best vegan pizza I've ever had And he said Oh, sorry about that. This was just a regular pizza. No. Yeahah. so. Yeah it was so good Sorry about that. See our method is that we just makeake it with regular cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our secret, we do things a little differently at this vegan pizza house And That's great. If I was him, I would have been like, Hey, thanks man. It's a shame we're not gonna to have it on the menu anymore after tonight. We'll see y. Yeah Okay well wereere they apologetic about it or were they just like wink? Yeah they said they said, you know, sorry about that. And I said, you know what? Hey, no harm done, I guess. Yeah. I enjoyed my meal up to this point. Yeah. There's another vegan there is a vegan pizza place that's on Kings'sway called Vegan Pizza House And when I moved here like years ago. It was one of the only places. So they had stuff that you couldn't get anywhere else and still can't for good reason, like vegan shrimp o on Which I've never seen cashew It's just a little cashew painted. Yeah. It's shrimp. Do you like it? It's a chewy pizza. And I was the only person that was ever there. And I remember one time I had like a bunch of slices and each slice had like a hair that was larger than the last. Oh Oh that's kind of a reverse Beloxes And I kept ha I kept bringing up and I was like, this one has hair in it too. And you'd give me a fresh one. And then it was a larger piece of hair. And I wasn't even upset. I was sort of just like What are the chances of this? I think they should do a place where the hairs get smaller until you get to a pube The smallest hair possible. Is it a bad sign when you go to a restaurant and they're like, you're our greatest customer. And you're like, takeake any seat you want Wh this is my first time in here? Yes, congratulations. Even Coca Cola here is vegan. Stuff like that. At the place I lived in Edmonton when I was, you know, not to brag doing my master's during COVID. White A? It was on White A. yeah. Yeahah. was that's a city. I could use a little planning But that street tryin their c streets. Every town has Cool. I was I was right past where it kind of stopped being white F and they and they just called it eighty second again.. So if you went across ninety ninth It was white Ave. and then on the other side, it was just eighty seven. What's the Vancouver equivalent, the cool street? We've got a bunch of cool. Yeah have in Edmonton, that's the only place they have they have to do everything there. So they've got as many subways as you want One on every block O, two ye. some of them are even stay good business. Yeah. there's a vegan sub way. doesn't do well. It's just the bread. Is there bun? Is that vegan? or is that what H you ask? It's yeah, the bread. I it is Yeah. exxcept the cheese one. The cheese. Yeah, the cheese one's got too much cheese Just shrimp. There's the shrimp in. Remember the lobster sub that they used to do the promotion with? Dave had it, I think. No, I don't think I did. I the McDonald's one No, I had the one just from the nameless place in Kings Gate Mall. Oh, the lobster roll. Oh o. That was the thing I planned for episode five hundred. And he thought it was Okay Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of episode five hundred, it's this is episode nine hundred and forty eight meaning fifty two weeks from now It's at part your calendar housing and u What are you guys gonna do? Well, I mean, I'm telling people to like plan their flights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah that's right. Mark wherever you plan on juststanding somewhere el Yeah Yeah, because you do not want to be home for this episode. Yeah. because your wife is gonna find out We're revealing all of the secrets you've been emailing us for the past twenty years. Yeah, we do get a lot of secrets. Now we'll do an episode with's just all listeners secrets. Oh yeah, We need a bonus episode so. Yeah, right in your secrets And we promise to credit you in full. Yeah. Well, it'll be like post secret Yeah, That postcard we'll see their email address. Yeah, we'll see we'll know who you are. Go into those drafts and hit send on that buttthole pick. you guys. No thanks. Yeah, fifty two weeks And we'll be one week for every card. I'm gonna make Graham pick up right now Come on, don't just say it U ye, Well, I don't know. what should we do? I've taken I've taken suggestions. what live show? Maybe Pusible Big live show Epl anything right now. Yeah. The big live show right now Where could you go? Well, the big live show JJB right's be it's going to be Edmonton, where we have at least M you guys did a live show there. I went to We've gotone to show a show you guys. Every time we play Evmonton, they put us in a smaller and smaller place. It was there was like a bunch of boardroom conference tables in front of you. It was downtown right next to the bus depepot. Yeah. you remember that one? Was that the one in the like Freemason's hall It wasn't a hall. It definitely wasn't a hall. Oh, was it in that a standing room only. Yeah. okay. That was like a they have a word for those kinds of things. It's like a downtown club or whatever It's a community center? No, it was just like a room that like people can Yeah rent out. Yeah. and someone had As someone had as part of a festival. Yeah. Yeah, I was there. I was there I wasn't forget. There was no seat for me. I stood in the bed. I was dining room only because there was like a couch that is usually for like at risk children to give birth on or whatever. Yeah, it was really inconvenient for them to go outside. te. Well the children being born were then very at risk, I assume. Yeah.' I just know that we did the basement of a church or was that a Mason. So we did we did the impropagandza like ye improv place. Yeah. Yeah And then we did CK U A And then we did the downstairs of like whatever, the Mason's Hall with Jonathan Richmond playing above us and everybody going fucking nut. Could you guys keep it down You you guys brought the broomstick And us being like, is there like any kind of stage lighting? No, there's just one light for the whole room. And we might need it later during the show. Yeah. He needs a bit more light upstairs Turn off the lights And then and I should have just excused ourselves and let up and watched around of the richmond. And I think it the one after that was the one And was it the last one? Yeah. ye. That was the last live show we've done.ally twenty twenty two, maybe Oh yeah. ye ye, Wow. Holy shit, timee Hey guys asseshers some might say. And speaking of shows, you put on a lot of shows there. Yeah tellell us all about Oh man. Yeah, let me start at the beginning, guys. what. This is coming out. I've been told M May eighteenth or nineteenth and you can edit in which one was correct. This is coming out may eighteenth. Here's another take. This is coming out may nineteenth And this weekend, may twenty second to twenty third, it's our annual event. Graham Clark's twenty four hours a stand up marathon show. Graham Clark, you may know him from the podcast. He's going to be on stage for twenty four hours performing stand up comedy as well as, you know, some other stuff he's been working on throughout the last That's right. Yeah, how many years have you done this? This is for me, your five. for littleittle Mount Gallery involvement four four number four. Yeah. And this is the third time in the location in the new place third of that, then fourth of the other and then five total and Yeah if you're keeping track, which you shouldn't be, the wiki only shows the four.. This is yeah, this is the third year we've done it at Water Street and Last year was really fun. Yeah. Yeah. L easiest for some reason. That's what you said, yeah. because I remember the year before I mean, a fatter now. Y fav were fatter. That was it. That's true. I had a gigantic rabit. You had those big little elephant feet, big little elephant But d d d are you so Is this like the biggest show littleittle Mountain does all year? Hey, unfortunately it is. Yeah. what's second place We had a lot of kill Tony guys in this last year. Yeah. And it's a big show because they only have a minute each So they're waiting outside Everybody's led, they go in for one minute. out they go. Yeah, and they're so used to doing their jokes and then looking to the left, you know, they don't know what else to do. They look to the left. Is the left is where the hosts are? Yeah, ironically. I've never watched even though these things are a minute long. I've never watched a second. It's I know what they are. Fascinating It is a fascinating show. I When I start watching it, I can't stop watching it because it it's the modern equivalent of Johnny calling you over to the panel. Yeah It's like a gong show, right Except a lot's kind of ier Everybody gets their full minute unless they bail. Okay. So no matter how bad you're bombing. and this is just one minute. Yeah. S people come up. they've never done standu before and they think they can tough it out for a minute There's people who weren't they're drunk. they came to the holding pan or whatever. It just smashed It's fascinating. And it's a holding pen? It's a holding It's a pen. And is it like a weekly show? It's I think they do it every day. I don't know. I don't know if it's a weekly. How many people are on? How long is an episode? Has anytone watched a whole episode? It's something. It's like an hour in And but it's Like I'm gu I' go on Guys only, yeah, I'm pretty sure. But like I do feel now this is like a stupid person talking about like, well, come on saay for a minute. But like me being like and we open the door of the pen whoever runs out the fat for a. I'm talking about a very popular thing and I'm like, o okay, well I kind of imagined it one way. so like And I think your audience has a lot of crossover with the Kill Tony audience. I feel like they probably would have watched one. Yeah.'s the other thing is there's Aea so it's killed Tony himself and then a bunch of other comedians and they weigh in whenever they want. they kind of as they weigh in during the guys set. No like there' no hackling during their set. They're allowed to just have that one clean minute. They get a minute and then it's reaction time. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's bullet time. Yes, buullllet time. And if it's somebody D is doing the Matrix bullet, Dck not gonna U then yeah, then they kind of rip them apart. I also think I don't think I've really seen too much of it. I know that a bunch of people that few people from Vancouver have been on this show. Yeah and it's made their They're now the biggest guy Yeah they get up in the first half of any open break that they want to. I think That's the prize. That's what everybody's shooting for. beforefore the audience gets tired and their friend who lost the fantasy football bet goes on stage. And we lose the whole audience. You know, the purest form of comedy. What's the weirdest and it will go around the horn. What's the weirdest thing that you saw at an open mic I mean, outside of just like the, uh sort of the the hate speech Yeah Yeah sort It's sort of like there's there's different levels to that too. What I always find interesting is when someomeone's point of view, like they aren't trying to be edgy and they don't understand why what they're saying is like hateful to any group. They're just like This is just how I see the world. Don't you guys understand? I'm going down the street and I'm thinking this guy wants to suck my dick real bad. This fucking guy wants to suck my dick. not as bad as the other guy. I'm just trying to buy my cashew cheese and shrimps and everybody wants to suck my dick and everyone's in the audience. It's like it's not even that it's bad, it's just sort of Okay, I'd say like sometimes the u theme like sometimes someone will come up like in costume or something and you'll be like, this is either going to be really good. It never is or it's going be like Okay, this guy only appears at Halloween and he does every show in town. And you know, he's been saving up these Halloween jokes I'm not talking about any was specific, but it's just sounds something Well, there's an Easter guy. There's a Christmas guy. There's a St.t Patrick's guy, Mother's Day, The Mother' Day comedian, like How become everybody's mom was is so my dear. This guy gets what we're thinking. He dresses up like a my mom, you know he comes down. This is confusing. Yeah. were they moms? or you mom? We're all moms. We were all moms the whole time. Oh But I don't, o, you know what? actuallyually somebody I think the one that's the most kind of upsetting is when they come and try and like performance art to like mess with an audience that's just there to see their fantasy football friends. Yeah, honestly, most Open my audiences didid not know there was comedy happening tonight. Yes. They thought there would be something on the big TV. Yeah. They come in, they're on their first date. then suddenly, twenty minutes in, all the TV's turned off. A milk crate gets pushed into one of the corners of the room. If you're lucky if you have that, a lot of times you're just standing on the floor that everybody else seems to be on. The milk bottle. All right, mother, if I got turn off your phone. The oat milk crate. And there was one time someone took off their pants and then injected themselves with a with a needle. Whatotted it part of themselves? Leg Okay. Yeah. So their pants came fully off. And I think everyone and they were just doing it to be like C Can you guys believe this is happening? And we're like, yeah, we believe it. Yeah yeah. we're saying We gotta see Halloween M. He's up right back. Yeah. I'm diabetes man. I'm showing you how I take my daily inul. And Halloween man nobody wants to follow that guy, that guy he's the best. Put my Halloween costume away, those skeletons are back in my crade The one that sticks out to me was it's not it was a guy who He told me he had done standup a few times, but I was on a hero show, which is a show where you do a character or you is one a one person sketch show and he I can't' he seems like a really sweet guy. so I don't want to say any specifics It's a sweetheart of a boy, but he Like, you know, went up on stage Immediately like laid down it was a four hundred and twenty show. was the thing It laid down the idea of like, here's what my concept is. and what if this person did this and it would sound like this and then he sings the little song. Oh it's so unexpected. gets no reaction. The audience is completely numb to him Wells it's a long show at the But. And this is like two minutes of him getting no reaction. And then you realize, oh, this is a Long bit and we just saw act one, but there will be more examples of different the same song, but with different words put in And Avy and I wrote the song What was the song? I don't want to say any specifics. I don't know was that cashew song that h did it earlyer. Yeah. Yeah. the weirdest one that I saw was a guy got on stage. he told twoo jokes and then the rest of his set was putting up lectn that like the press secretary of the United States would stand behind. And a like a desk and then there were puppets And one of the puppets was like Monica Lewinsky. This was in two thousand or three. One of the puppets was Monica Pinsky. And this is good gig for her. She doesn't give the drink. He we learned so much from that PM t drink Anyways, then the puppet. is giving him a blow job. That's what the pup would. All these puppets wantna suck my dick. It was the street you were walking down. S something? It was. Yeahah Oh Oh man, what was the other When we first reopen here for the open mic? We the open mic just naturally attracts likeike a lot of people And a lot of performers? A lot of performers loosely No, not audience. Yeah. God knows, it's not an audience But then there's a certain side of like certain type of older man Who loves going to the open light. like they and they all sort of wear The same like Fedora or felt hat There was a man who was showing up very early on and we still have he would bring small rubber chickens with his name written. This is good in felt pen and give them to people. You need merch. and We have a bunch of those Yeah, it waser it was sort of a business merch thing. It was just his name though. So how to get in touch with him was unclear. You just had to show up to the next show. And So for a long time, we would just have all of these felt hats that these men would come. and they had A lot of similar material. It was Check out what's under here. Yeah. Check out this brand.w.ith. My ex wife says this hat looks stupid. Do you disagree? I'm gonna to pull my pants, put the hat over my car. That's I'm jing myself with a rubber trgger. All right, I'll see you guys at Halloween. Good night, That a spooky Christmas Oops All right, I'm throwing my hat out to the audience So there's this guy, Fedora man that that comes all the time. I mean they Well they will they don't really anymore because I think that they sort of got that out of their system. likeike they've been building it up. But they do a lot of similar material and it's not like I'm not trying to you know, be a little blue with this, but they come from an age where I believe that going down on a woman was like an edgy thing. And so they all get up on stage. That's true this guy didn't haveck he didn't suck Monica Lewinsky'. Yeah, He only gonna win the why. And the women back then would be like, Damn this guy's edgy. You look down, it's just the hat moving up and down. And so they always like that's their material as they go up on stage and they are saying this stuff as if it's like going to shock you. But it's more just You're learning about this man's sexual desires Yeah. and then he and then that's it. and it's three minutes later. and And sort of it's an open call at that point. That's how going down on a woman is. It's That's it and it's three minutes later. Then you leave your halfhind and your rubber chicken it's like just my name, Bibe. I do feel like the rubber chicken with the name on it is very much the way that like Boomers would tell, you drank that water so fast. Yeah. He's perched Boomers would tell younger generations like, o just You want a job, you have to have a good handshake And you just go in and talk to the boss and tell them you're Yeah Exactly. I'm telling writers, you're available to work and he'll hire you. Just go in, leave a few of your hats stuffed behind the plants. and you have to go back in to pick them up. Just give them a rubber chicken with your name on it. It's like, guys do you guys mind if I do a tight three of my resume real? Yeah yeah, let's everybody gather around. Do you have any friends that want to come out and watch you do this? I lost a couple of bets so I had to come down to the I actually play it. My last job I got with a resume was twenty ten Wow. And so I what was that? That was at CBC Oh. and so Mother Corps fromom then I've just just use that use Daddy's connections. Big Nppo baby in the podcast scene. Yeah J look around. But I Yeah I don't know like At the time, writing a resume There was that first like your goal or objective? Is that still a thing? Yeah, was did you manage to make it all one page or did you have a two page? Oh you got to make it one page. You're not gonna to read two pages. No one has time to flip through another page on a resume. Have you guys ever been involved in like a hiring process U No no as a hirer? Yeah, no. Yeah. and see like what people choose. Well, I have I've talked to people who are in like I remember So Someone got an my friend got an email. in the off hours when he o, someone We had another person apply for the job. Oh, he'd be perfect for it. According to this, he'd be perfect for it No interview required. We love this guy. Oh, apparently his skills match perfectly with the skills required from the adie saw. And he says he's available right now. so we gott to scoop him up before somebody else does. Congratulations. You are painting the cash shoes to look like shrimp.. You have worked in hiring? I have like and are the people who show up to an open mic more unhinged than the people applying for job. I'll tell you writing your whole resume out a rubber chicken, it is a skillet itself. Absolutely. And if that was a job, I mean, first class. Yeah. it's well I think it's all about LinkedIn now Everybody's got to get their stuff on LinkedIn. I don't think I'm on it. I got my stuff on SoundCloud. so just you can hear some of my demos. That's as good as a resume. There's songs about different experiences you've had. It's Mumble Round. Oh my God. You're on Soundcloud. That's pure Npo baby. I've been trying to get my account approved for years H Um, yeah, what's the like You bring in everybody for an interview? Oh absolutely not. Okay. You will get flooded. It's you put something on, I mean, it's it's rough. like it's it's rough out there for people to try to get And I just want to let you guys know if you're applying for any jobs I've posted. I'm not I'm not looking at your resume. It' it's just interesting how people will try to sell themselves. You're not looking at our resume. N anyone Here's my objective. really shine in a place that as a solo worker, but also was also like to be get a real fuck to be you leave that in the realpect. it's speech to text. people people to be people guy Hey, listen, guys, I really wna work here. I think I'd be perfect for the job if you guys could just give me a chance She's got a lot to prove to my mom and dad. What is what gets people jobs? Is it really I mean, it must Being friends and family. Yeah. Yeah I think yeah, Aside from like that would make the most sense. Aside from getting a job at Tysers, which is just like chain and they'll take anybody. Did you work at Twysoros? Yeah Oh o yeah. For how long? For like they hire on extra people for the holidays. So is they're kind of from August to Christmas and then Hmm done A it was Wow for the holidays starting in August. 'cause it's like back to school shit, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was in the nerd section of the store it was all microscopes and Oh it like that. And they went out of business, right? Yeah, twentywenty odd years later. Okay. Yeah. Uh but I got that got me the job and then everything else is just like, hey, I worked at Tys U. That's right Yeah there of a se All toals. all pals from then on. Did you ever deal with um L any of those guys that sort of wait for the boxes to be open, like the hot wheels guys or the Pokemon was that a thing back then? Yeah I don't know if that was. Oh no, it definitely was during the Christmas season because everybody wanted this ne Lego thing. Okay. It would like they couldn't keep it in stock. So people were lining up for whatever that was not my part of this d. the microscope area. those microscope kids waiting outside. limit of three. My resale value. This one comes with a peetri dish. Inject yourself in the leg. Yeah My friend worked I think at Twysor Rus and it was hot wheels guys and there was a limit of how many hot wheels they could get. Yeah. And so they'd come in and I guess to stop the other hot wheels guys, they would get their limit and then destroy the other hot wheels boxes. Oh really? had resale resale value because they're not mint anymore Yeah I thought you were going to say to just what did you say? What did I say? Well, you thought it was funny. I foil Yeahah, to foil the other hot wheels guys, they put a bunch of micr machines on the ground and they slip. Wha. Um yeah, the every other aisle Boxes askew, different things, but my Christ Yeah. kids aren't going and the only kids going through there are little young Sheldons and before it was cool. Yeah Now young Sheldon, just so you know, you know what storeory So I watched the full Young Sheldon. Okay, with my family. How many how many seasons is it? I want to say it was seven or eight. Oh wow. It was big by the end. And is it a tradition like are they still doing twenty two episode seasons? This was one I feel like It was COVID like truncated. So a few of the seasons were like thirteen episodes generenally around twenty. But the episodes themselves were under twenty minutes. Nice. Yes. We were a nineteen and a half minute episode. to the point where my kids were like, canan we watch three tonight? Well if you're good yeah. My little Sheldons.. And so a little bit of Sheldon trivia, his favorite store He's growing up in the eighties and nineties. He's basically our age Yeah. So what do you think? This little nerd boy's favorite store. This is a radio shack. Yeah, radioack. H to be radio shhack. And what is a thing he says when he's making a joke Be Baboo And he says it nonstop until they hang up Yeah, that never really was a thing in Canada, I don't think. It was big in the states B It was a Howard Stern? Yeah How would people listen to Howard Stern in Canada? We wouldn't R rate it. We only had our The OFMs Yeah. they ninety He was banned Yeah he was bn. Was he? Yeah, because on his first episode I don't know he slammed somebody. Someone made a complaint to the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council and they investigated every complaint and they made a ruling and they decided to determine that he was not He was not Canada style. Yeah, I feel like the same thing happened with Power Rangers Oh the big two. Who did they talk sh about? When I was a kid, nothing was cooler than Howard Stern and Power Rangers. We'd have to argue about who we wanted to be on the playgrounds. I'm Red Ranger and you are Babby. Yeah. You're Howard Stern and you are a stripper that's on the air with Howard Stern. And this is the episode where they kissed I want to be the kiss. He's he makes, I think he seems tame compared to what in today's modern world? Yeah. Cpared to a lot of these open micics So you're running the show. It's called Graham Clark's twenty four hours of comedy. It starts six PM eight P eight PM. Yeah and so they' pushed to get to after Yeah after work. Yeah. Yeah. there's an open mike before. So that's you want to get there about six, you know, quarter six actually. if you want to make a if you want to make it for the open mike. Yeah. And so put on your best hat. So people in Vancouver can come and see it and and you You don't need to stay for the full twenty four hours. How does that work? People show up and be like, I'm gonna to be here for an hour. Yeah, I'm so glad you asked about this. So the show starts at d. We do chunks a time, seventy five minutes. so you can buy tickets in seventy five minute chunks, which is what we call them. And then there's Gams on stage Uh the whole time and then we've got teams of eightight to ten comics every ro time That's right the whole time Every two hours they switch and they're all writing jokes for Graham to read on stage. Yeah. And it's very fun. Everyone has a really good time. It's a very fun event jokes that like if he tells a joke once Yeah and he he reads a joke, that someone writes he puts it in puts it in the pile of youatch it up and throw it away. The no kernels from that joke will appear in other jokes throughout the show. That's where you're wrong. That's where you're wrong, Dave. So we go we go a little crazy. time goes' a little different. This last year we did awards for the best joke. rightight Every hour every two hours and reading them back, most of them are just inside jokes from their they're awful to read back. Yeah. That's a little time capsule of what we were going through at the time. Yeah, what do you have any specifics because I know during my two hours last time, there were a lot of jokes about big naturals there was some kind of factory. Was it like a dog poo factory or something We have the best open Might comedians performing on the show. Graham insists on it actually. Better comedians ask if they can do it. No, no, no, no. No this is staging Graam. This is for me and my boys. He just he rips off. It's a sort of a kill tony for Graham. Yeah. And what percentage so there's likeike, you know, eight comedians an hour, whatever, ten comedians an hour. writing constantly. Yeah, putting jokes in in a ball for you to pull out What percentage of those jokes do you not read? Because you're like, this is Very low. Yeah, very low. There was the first year. Sbody a couple of people wrote things and I was like, this is I'm not saying this. I'm surprised you were writing it, but I'm definitely not going to say it U but it's low. It's surprisingly low actually H You know, the problem is the thing goes on is that people's handwriting sometimes Another time I don't knowet it's I'll read some of the award winning jokes. And you tell me. And just remember, Graham will be reading these jokes. Yeah not friend Yeah. so the way I deliver it, it's not going to be funny. But when Graham did it on stage It's great. It one best of the hour. This is best of two hours. Yeah. So this is a joke. so Pometries Oh That was my session of I didn't write this one. I couldn't. And this is where we're talking about those trees that do the fallers Yeah right. They smell like c So a lot of people were triggered in a fun way about this by triggered, I don't mean the traditional way. I mean that inspired them. Yeah. You know when you readygg. Yes. Thankk you very much Cum trees are planted by the city as part of Ken Sims plan to fuck Vancouver.n't not bad that was an award mayayor if you don't know. And yeah. so we, you know, ripp straight from the headlines here Uh, here was a joke No C try for old men. That's good. That was that was that was a contentious one because that was an audience members swch and they won not gonna happen we've made a rule that audience members cannot win the award. Yeah.'s that's it was too good But no country for old men is at the time It's fantastic. Uh, this is one My sex life is a lot like bigig gay O I am going to have sex with Big Gay O. Wh was big A? Big A. He was there for probably twenty three or twenty two of the time. Yeah. was he was a man. That was his name. That's how he identified himself was Gay O and he came I think about three AM and You know if they out Cokespoons to everybody? Yeah. What's a Cokespoon? F open of a can of Cke. Is it? But like It's tiny, right? It the old McDonald's coffee much smaller than that. smallaller than that. And we got ' them for free. So come this year I gotta Google a Cokepoon I know that people used to do like have a long fingernail. Yeah Do people have are Cokesman still a thing Uh, I guess Yeah, don't look. I feel like they're a seventies thing Yeah, I remember in the back of a seventies maybe Esquire or Playboy they had as are beautiful Oh yeah, so that one that's good does your look like h U Okay,, there's a range of those. Those are just differented over their drugs. Thats that one's retractable. Oh these are the McDonald's ones that's what I was thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, if you had enough Coke Why not Um, so bigig Al was he was And he ed He passed away. Whatually, we learned this year he died of I know. We don't know. Okay. No he did. He passed away. I was messaged a few months ago and so he was a You know, a big part of the show. Yeah and u He was big and he was gay and. Well, these are the kinds of characters who show up. Yes. But the thing is the jokes that you're going to hear They They don't make sense now but Yeah they att the time, it's very it's very fun and you've written on the show many years. writing again this and you do you have a good time? I love it. Yeah You get in the zone. Do I have a good time? Yeah, two PM. the best of timnes. And then you find out later that Weirdly Most of the audience members have died. Yeah. It's the big reveal. It's so tough to sell tickets to this annual event. Yeah. But her cool Perot will be writing this year and he's gonna to come up with figures of clues Um G give this little mustache. Yeah. I' a writer. I't think write. Keep writing. I don't know how they do I't really know. I watched one of the Kenneth Branagh Agatha Christie's And like Why do British people so obsessed with that type of show? It's one of those well that's probably copyright free at this point, right? Are they paying the estate of Aegatha Christie? It's sort of like yes are they? Proablyood. Okay. They're not that old. Okay, okay. I thought it was like one of those things where it's like Robin Hood or Th Musketeers and they keep making that even though no one wants Yeah three musketeers. like no one's like you seen the latest F Musketeers movie. Yeah, they got to reboot the whole frch. Yeah every time. Is It' Moby Dick? That's very heavily copyrighted. Yeah. But why? No, I don't think so. I think it's you can you can see them that's the thing. Chr. I think Christopher Nolan's moby Dck would be huge and they're going like and they don't have to pay for it. Yeah. Yeah. I know all the like Steamboat Willie and Hopye the sailor man and Mi the poo is all public domain. Yeah. And so they could all meet up. Moby the Dick. Yeah. M you could have to fuck each other. I mean, you don't need to have the trademark to do that. You can goingo down the street, everybody's trying to adapt my Moby Dick Thanks a lot guys. Herman Melville. The was your Herman Melville. Yeah. and no one can tell me I'm wrong. Now it tragically does. Is he related to Moby? I heard that Moby is like a distant off the whale? No, of Herman Melville. Oh, okay. He was writing distant relative. Both of them said they dated Natalie Portmth. Yeah. actuallyctually, that same vegan pizza place, it had a poster on the wall was say that was like famous vegans and the top one was Moby Oh, really I think you was saying Natalie Port. No, she wasn't on there. She was It was Moby. Moby was number one. She thinks she's Ovo Lacto. Yeah. What is who are the other most famous veacans? Yeah, dropped off pretty hard after that. A lot of them were drawings Oh really? Yeah. like they had one photo on there. Aristotle, Pythagoras was on there. Oh sure. So I mean you Yeah cut you the younger Moby, yeah Um And yeah, My, when I worked at a book warehouse, he had a recipe a cookbook that would come through. and there's these were remainers. So like if it was kind of an unpopular one, you would get boxes and bo get a lot of boxes of Moobi's cookbook. And it was a lot of like, you can eat this page right next to the microscopes for those kids, ye Mother, I'd like another copy of Mobi's cookbook. you already have some in the car Um yeah, what was it called? It was called What's the Mobby's real name? Wh is aliion? Richard Melville Hall. one And what's this cookbook called He had a restaurant toohere in Brooklyn And then Oh, no search Well I I did write M Mi cookook bookook b. It's always fun when you get that like Google has no idea. Yeah anyot attempt to guess It's called The Little Pine Cookbook, modern plant based comomfort. Samy Cole I dated Natalie Portman. Do we like Mvie? I mean, I like the album the big album that he had at the time. I like his tattoos. Does he have cool tattoos Let's see Are they vegan? Do they use vegan? Oh the whole recipe. This whole arm it says animal rights. M He imagine getting stuck in a corner with him at a party and him telling you all the sorts of things And his neckays vegan for life. That wasn't on the poster. Is that my Uigayave vegan? Yeah Yeahah, I'm a huge moby fan. Here, let me sing you a couple of songs. His next says world's most famous vegan arris T Do we like Moby? Yes, because he has that song that goes Yeah. Wara F the beach Um Is it really? Yeah, you remember the beach? The DiCaprio Yeah Yeah, okay. Yes. E and M called him out Yeah song and nobody listens to tech no. Yeah. man was on with Gwuen Stefani? Yes outside. Yeah. so he was like, he was it for a while You play. Oh man. everywhere. I bet you, I bet you, this is my prediction. He will be playing the sphere in Las Vegas at some point. It' like a big interactive It, it's your piction. That's your prediction twenty twenty seven. Yeah,, well, like you have like a Can we give you ten years? L how will this happen? Give me I'm gonna to go on three years. I'm going on poolymarket and seeing the odds. M he doesn't look like he's got much time left by those photos. He looks tired. very tired and he's What does he need? Iiron pills? Yeah, he needs something He's afraid' a big frown he's got on his face. Yeah. H tattoo is vegan for life, which will not be long. See me at the sphere or will you But I feel like there's only a certain a group or whatever class of entertainer that can fill that place, which is gigantic. So it's like No doubt was there. honestly when you shared Moby is going to play, I thought you were going to say the state fair. I did not expect it to be He travels around with those trucks that set up the roller coasters in mall parking lots between Sary. Yeah. he's a card. Yeah, that's the word they prefer to be Eldbows up He is u Uh no, I don't know I haven't heard of him performing or touring at all. No. But I think he was like kind of wasasn't he like kind of a reckless or something? Or is there some other guy that was like a reckless that was a dance Tiesto? Yeah, it's probably Fiesto.ry. The big two Is it Armin Van Pur? was Armanur sorry, it wasn't Fiesto. Can we name one female? DJ, I know I can't. unless well, that's not true. Paris Hilton Yeah, that's true. Original All originals. Yeah. My wife goes to concerts without me. Yeah to like that's her gift of you. DJs playing like dance music. Yeah And she sees female DJs, C I name them? Can I be ready you She'll tell me who she's going to and I'll say that's great dear. Snookies back in town. Call me if you need I'm watching another round of young Sheldon with kids. The episodes are only ten minutes now. They're microsoes. We finish Young Sheldon. So with then after that we started watching Fresh off the boat Okay. Okay. And and we finished that. Both of these shows Funny watching like a network sitcom binging it because They get very bad towards the end. Yeah. like her young Sheldon at the end there they spend the last two seasons setting up the spinoff Everyone in town hates Sheldon. Everyone's like happy for him to go to like do an exchange program. Like the whole town chips in to get him play. A lot of cousins are introduced in those last couple if somebody gets pregnant There's Yeah there's like they kill off his dad for no reason just for And they need something to get. And then there's like sexual tension between the mom and the young pastor and then the dad and the neighbor and it's like There's no need for any of this drama in your show about a little genius boy. It wass just like the end of the Spranos. you remember when Baby Soprano was introduced? Yeah The end of was catch raises. I Baby Soprano. Oh'm young Sprano. That's how he cries. Oh Ma Oh Not the mum. Oh. I Tony Wear like a dinosaur cos you. Yeah. ye, ye, I wish we could see you in your own twenty two episode adventure baby soprano. Well, we can try it out.. We'll try it out for a season and it'll get cancellled. Fresh off the boat, the mother is like a u She makes the kids like do extra work and stuff like she This a family sitcom? Yeah. o. There's a Chinese Taiwanese American. Okay liivving in Florida in the nineties and they But then by the end of the mother is just like, So mean to everyone. so like unlikable Yeah. Flanderized. she got call that term. I think she's more of a jerk ass homer. Yeah, that's true. You did become more He became a lot dumber, but he also did kind of yeah, he did have kind of a cruel streak for a while. Yeah was choking his s. Yeah that was a brief period of the show. Tony Soprano was out of control, you guys. Yeah. they could have done an animated series about those ducks from his pool, you know Now I hear that if you're not in Vancouver, you can also check out the show. So true. Sopranos is streaming on all the major networks. Really on all. It's not just Vancouver anymore. Yeah, turns out they didn't file some paperwork like the Ozempic people. And so it's copyright free in Canada at this point. So youzempic copyright free. Yeah What does that mean? You can make any movie you want that features Ozempic. You can inject it on stage at any open mic at this point is what I should have said. Please edit that in. No problem. No. I like a movie where people are just doing plenty of Ozempic. Just ask. Ccial consideration provided by in a movie Pomotional ye. as used to be just a couch likeike you would get a couch on a game show or Well, like in on TV shows or movies like They'll be like, you know Madam Webb will just be Mam Webes. Were using only like Sony laptop and Sony flip phone and whatever. So she's brand loyal.. Yeah, Ozamppec babies, you can make that as much as you want Weith a mother babies are skkinny They look so good. They're all mobiesque in their bodies. Nothing tastes as good as skkinny feels, Piggy. Now actually, Wisconszo. well, it was so good. Thanks a lot Thank you. Yeah. And people what about Graham's showo? Can they anyone Yeah, we've had a lot of fun. So yeah, you can stream it online and we learned how to adjust the cameras this year. so it it's Graham's face is not going to be a solid white mask. I'll see about that. Have you gone in for screen tests? Yeah, and you know what I like that other guy's chances. I'm down to the final too. Yeah, yeah yeah. But he's got he got an agent. I just got myself an audition. It's me or Glenn Powell. Who are they gonna choose? Come on. Get real. Yeah U Yeah, you can watch it online. We've got a stream. you can chat with us. some so to find it people just go to online. com. Yeah it's it's. Thanks for keeping me inline, Dave. I've gotten away with too much. So you can go on the website, Graham might even share a link. It's on Little Main Gallery hosted by YouTube itself. You were able to get YouTube as a sponsor this year. I don't just do this wherever. It was a get It was a get. Yeah, sorry. Twitch You should put like a big YouTube banner behind Why not I'd love to just we try to get sponsors this year and it's a lot harder than youd think. We try to get Hoka shoes, which wear You wear Hoka shoes. Yeah. I knew somebody who worked there And he took it back. And then he messaged me and he said They said that you're not really our demographic, which was a heartbreaking thing. Yeah. It seems like sort of a personal Hoka's demographic is Long distance runners and nurses. Yeah I felt like it easily there's a big audience there of people And there's a tie in. There is a tie. I thought it was a like a direct Cnect Have you buy your hokas yet for this year? No, I haven't. Steal them Yeah, you're right, El Steven. And we talk about I think we've branched this last year that every year you buy a new pair of hokas like you're the finance minister unveiling the budget Maybe we'll wear something fun this year I think we should say they were. They did sponsor the show. What are they going to do? We'll just give them that free advertising. Yeah. And what are they going to do? And then to stop tell you take your shoes off. What is the They're going to write jokes about it too. They're really going to make fun Who's the u who's your who's Hoka's biggest competitor Barefoot, I think, just not wearing shoes. Oh wow. you that's a great. No, not sketchers. sketchers is Wait, probably new balance because they both make big wide shoes, don't they Isn't that their thing? Yeah. I've got the wide foot. I'm a four e myself. Me too. Are you really? Yeah. Yeah. A four E? That's the biggest shoe you can get oniders. Oh, but like the number, you're not a size four That's the sound I make when I get the shoe. Okay, so when I look up my parents did some weird stuff to my feet when I was growing up.'re looking Asics, newew balance, Brooks and on O. What do you wear right? balance. balance. Yeah. Yeah. It's the only shoe you can get that's big, big wide flipper sized shoe. Well Hoka's doing. Well, not to me anymore. they turn me down. Yeah Uh, do we Did you try anywhere else? N. After that I was pretty demoralized. So I said all the people that did sponsor, I said, takeake it back. I'm not interested at this point. Speaking of sponsoring, I saw you made an ad for this show you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. And I went to see Alien. Yeah the movie at the park theater And your ad played before Be the trailers ran. Yeah. Yeah. I was curious where they were going to put that. So like maybe you already knew this because you secured the deal. Yeah that they play it in like the pre show loop, not in the trailer the Hanner zipchin area. Yeah, that's true. It's effectively replaced his whole job. Yeah. big part of the ad is take your phones out and scan this QR code and play along with Grham sorting recycling its events Near the end, you remember that what scene points became? traravesty. It was like it was just a trivia about stores at the mall theedater was at. I was like, which How many years can you get on your warranty for tires at Canadian tire? Is it four? seven or unlimited What was the answerlimited? It was four actually. Yeah. they set themselves up for something there. Alimited tire warranty? Come on man. U ye, I like the u under d Uress actors having the answer questions or read trivia or whatever So this is we're describing a phenomenon in Cineplex theaters in Canada.orry. it's fine. This one U Sry sorry about that where that was my go or they run the trailers Well, they've now added this to the like twenty minute trailer package. Yeah where they'll just have It used to be Tanner zip chnd. who won a contest. So it used to be every single year, they'd run a contest to have someone be the host for the Cineapplex Ode on pre show. Yeah. And then he came along and he won one year and they said, that's it. That's the last ad We we're never going to run the call And he would interview, you know, people on junkets, but also like look to the camera and be like, allright, we're doing trivia Yeah he'd say just like that very very take out your phones and you'll get scene points which are redeemable at Montana's restaurant And Oh good. Well, have you seen the one that they now have? It's a woman in a parking lot she makes you save She. She asks Random strangers on the on the street. Hey, how many U like scene point or stores, do you think I can name me the person who's hosting this thing? who knows the end And I have a little card. Yeah. How many do you think I could name? Montanas, Montanas pllus, Montanas Premium, Big wing Montanas. Ompic baby, Sopranos plus.in goodood. goodood run. Yeah. That was good. And then they do a bunch of ads They do an ad where this anthropomorphic popcorn trying to escape produce section. Yeah, and they they're like Amy guys. Yeah. ye. I love. Well one of them' a nerd. Although he looks like Orval Rdenbagg. Yeah. I mean a bit of an in joke if you're a bit of a popcourn headad. So I don't know if he's like if he's like in charge of, you know, data He's on the microscope aisle. toys RS Yeah, do you guys like those little popcorn guys? My wife hates them. Yeah She is like h I don't think I hate them, but I don't like We got a we're seeing plus members. We got a Chrisp little ornament with one of them. We get at Montanaas every anniversary. Every Mother's Day, we go and see our favorite comedian and then we get a big plate of juicy wigings at Montanas And it's ten percent off with a million points Montanas There's other ones that would naturally go with Montana's. I feel like Cabella's maybe would be a good. Yeah, good partner. some reason I'm thinking Eastide Mario' Yeah yeah, good. Yeah Yeah Um Hey ba boom, ba b. When you're here You're not at that other Baby Sopranos. I will have the Baby Soprano burger with vegan cheese, please. Yeah. Sure. Just like in the show. That was the best vegan cheeseburger I've ever had U was it? Well, first of all The thing you ate was meat. At no point did we say that I don't have meat. U Sing me the baby soprano song U Dave, what's going with you, man? Well, I'm gonna be checking you out your show. I love this kind of thing. Thank you so much for for guiding that conversation, Dave. Yeah, I love you. I did U, so here's a funny thing that happened the other day. Nice, here we go. Driving in my car . And u Uh I met her God, I hate like describing A thing that's happening in traffic is is myind knowing is describing a dream But this is kind of funny. Okay. So I'm stuck behind someone at a it's a red light And Dave's got he's holding his hands up like he's on a steering wheel. a tiny little steering wheel. and the then the light changes to Yeah One of the three. O of the three but always in that order Yeah It doesn't go back up through yellow. I think it should. Yeah. Yeah If I'm taking urban planning, this is my Silver bullet. Yeah. what do you think? Sorry, so it goes Red, yellow, green, green, yellow red. Well, it doesn't go green twice. It's red, yellow, green, yellow red. I got a double green light. I'm the luckiest man in the world. I can floor it in time just to see Moby Dick babies. U and so the light changes green. Yeah. I'm stuck behind this one car Tffic in the lane next to me is moving, traffic coming the other direction is moving. The guy in front of me not moving. I get a little. notot moving at all that I give them a little A longer beep, like, hey, he doesn't have a signal on Yeah If you're turning, let me know And then eventually I give him a third long beep and he puts on his right turn signal from the left lane and I'm like, this fucking iti is. He's trying to. to trying to turn from so far away. he's slowing me down. I'm the most important person on the road lead on the horn. Now first, what type of car are we talking about I want to say it was a Ford escape forord escape what time of day was this? This was two AM. forty So forty. Okay. I'm about I just picked up some groceries and I want to go pick up my kids. Yeah. R And I'm like, I can't be late Be they keep them there and lock the doors where my parents are And so I'm leaning on the horn and he starts edging towards the right lane. And then I realize there's a Canada goose blocking him. That That's why he couldn't go. And then eventually he goes I'm like I feel so stupid id you see I was saving Geese? I was there was no opportunity for me afterwards to like behind get beside him and go I sorry. Sorry, I support Geese as well. I just I just thought you were a complete idiot. I didn't know there was a goose involved in front of you. I thought you were being a very bad driver or maybe had died. And I was hunking and mourning You'd been at the show last year U it's I would a geese honk I would try solidarity. the song of my people. Would you stop If Geese were on the road, would you stop and and try and get around them instead? So the alternative is would you kill a Yeah would you without any thought We run over a goose. They are mean. They are mean. Yeah They they deffile our public park. Yeah with their cylindrical droppings. Yeah if you're not familiar with the geese, they do they have little column like droppingsve everywhere They're like tiny little sprite cans We feed our geese a little differently here. They're very they're green. Yeah, they're green. Imagine it. And then Yeah, I hate them, but I don I don't want to have to untangle one from the grill of my car. Yeah But was everybody else were people honking at you? No hking at No one knew. No it was like all traffic had gone around and it was just me Uh, I I guess I couldn't get around him, so I guess there must have still been some traffic. I think I would have opened the door and said Goose, there's a goose.er the person that. Yeah, but if I see him getting out of the car, I'm thinking we're gonna fight. And he starts yelling, Goose, Goose. Goose. You guys ever hit anything with your car Uh I hit another car once. Okaykay? Yeah, I've I've scratched a lot of cars. I haven't like smashed into anything. Is that on foot Yep, Yeah I wrote after a level of street fight or two after the black and white video U that scene isn't in the movie I'm going to I'm just gonna piss a Michael movie, the Street fighter movie Oh his like Michael Michaelackon Michael Jackson movie. Yeah. Yeah, I know, we all saw it before the show. but he he punches beats up a card. I think' black and white video. Yeah, Yeah before it. He turns into a Panther? Maybe it's Double dragon I think of where you like destroy it. it's Tue fighter. Is? It is in the movie It was in the trailer Okay. There's a new street fighter movie. Oh yeah, it' with Kill Tony. No. Yeah Is it? There's this mortal Kombat one coming out next month unless it out now. Yeah, if you're in the future, it's come out already. No, it's in the if you're the past, it's come out already. Wait No the new one. Mortal Kombat two. Yeah, it's out today. What shit Okay go. This is how you find out T the podcast off right. Aording to the Cineplex ad on my phone. I I get non stop notifications from the little popcorn guys. Send your scam points to TannerZep Chan Um the uome and there's noways yes, the Street fighter movie because thats it is It's not Kill Tony. It's that other mustache guy Oh, not the guy for Parks and Rereck. No, but he's killed Tony Jason, isn't he? I think I know who you're talking about, but Yeah Yeah, Heath clliff Is his name Uncle somethingomet Oh U Uncle, possibly Cody Rhodes is Guil and u Perfect Andrew Schultz is who I was thinking out. Oh yeah, that's him. Yeah. And okay. he is he is Kil Tony adjacent Orville Pck, the Mystery Mount of countountry right L. He'll be Vega. He's Vega so his face is cover the w. he sent his ballrog David Dast Malchin is M Bison. Oh my God. it's like they looked into my head when I was a kid and said this is the perfect cast. Jason Momoa is Blenca. Of course. The green guy. That's pretty good He was always my pet Whenever I was playing it, it' be blankca. He was my guy. You were a street fighter guy, not a mortal combat guy? I don't know, look, I went every which way. Who wasn't both? Teenage mean turtle tournament fighters? You weren't one of those guys? Is that something that you did? Yeah, it was a good one. It was based off the archie comic series of Ninja Turtles, not the mainstream ones that you guys might be familiar with I think characters you guys even heard of it. You guys heard of Armagon, the shark mutant from the future? Didn't think so he was in the game. There was a big on our u U what's the where of people chat on our Aardard discard Hey can you set up my Dcord grandson? But there were people talking about the turtles because we talked about the turtles. They were talking about different, you know comic. W. Yeah somebody pointed out, I think I knew this already that it was making fun of something in dareduck that they wrote this. Yeah, it was a parody originally of Daredevil that when Daredevil got hit as a kid by the toxic waste and made him blind and gave him powers, that that toxic waste went into the sewer and mutated the turtles. Yeah. And toxic waste, that was like a big thing back then. Yeah. We thought you could do it all It could make Joker. Yeah. It could You know, make a turtle It can make the Txic Avenger. I didn't know you guys had a discord. because I remember last time I was here a year ago, someone sent me a screenshot of the comments on either your Facebook or your Instagram and the comment was one guy he's like I had no idea Brent was so good looking. Now that I've seen it, I'm going to re listen to the episode and it's going to be completely different We don't ever get that. Yeah. was It was interesting. ye. Yeah. We do land for life. And my face has melted off thanks to that toastic wist. We do mostly try to invite uggos on. But we're doing handsome m here on the show. Yeah That's right. And next week, a big, big surprise guest Nick Nol is the sexiest man alive in nineteen ninety. Oh, he's in the movie. He's a street fighter.. He plays the car that they all beat up Actually he was he was the right pick for that. Oh Yeah, ye Um Is there any other other notable people in this cast or they just kind of all Um people I wouldn't Noah Centineo is gonna to be Ken Masters. He's Ken. He's Gano Noah Cento, you know from the PS I loveo you series and young Sheldon U There's another spinoff of Big Bang theory right? Yeah it's coming soon It's a sci fi It's a good guy that goes into the multiverse You know what they should do as a show Alf. They should reboot Alf. correct. What they should do is a show Alf. Well, they did it. But okay, we right this time. alsoso hold up a subway ticket when you do this Yeah., what's your take? Yeah, what's your weird take? Oh, somebody's on TikTok rout. I see the word on Facebook my man. on Facebook Marketplace. you can follow me. They sell a share for sale. They do ten episodes of that a day. Is that right? Yeah. It seems like as long as the train takes you from one stop to the next U Past guest Matdie Kelly was on. Yeah yeah.. And so is Bobby U Werner is he Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Merito did it too. Oh yeah, was his hot take would have been something wild. I canan't even o couldn't even get inside that mind. That's probably out mind's an elf guy. Yeah. I've talked to him. Reboot Alf. Yeah. hundred percent agree. Well here's the thing hereere's the thing. It's a puppet, right? So I mean, there's no obvious signs off wear and tear. remake signs, but it's Alf. Oh yes. swwing away. He's afraid of water. He's not afraid of cats? Is swing away. This the movie But Ss Yeah, I saw it recently. Yeah. Did you? In the last year. I'm trying to complete the Syamaanathon But there's a lot more to go Yeah. how many Well, I mean, I'd seen some before. Yeah. I a couple years ago, I watched all of Tom Cruise's Filmography from tip to tail. Wow, what for Python very best Well, it was me and a couple of friends and we said, wouldouldn't it be fun if we watched all of the filmography of someone and we picked Tom Cruise and they made it two movies. and I continued. Graham and I tried to watch four Bradley Coopers. What were the movies? Hangover one, two, three. There was a one where he was a cook Yeahep Tatui? Yeah. And there was the one where he was in aloha. It was aloha. Yeah Not that we didn't I't think we caught The hangover was not part of the No, it was ones that we wanted to be new to us. Yeah To be surprised ye Um Oh will you watching Joy about the mop creation It was a movie about the history of the M. I know, just a One womoman Joy played by Jennifer Lawrence. It was the same director as my yeah. The fans are gonna tear you apart on Market. No, it's just that I' Very out of minded today. I like a certain professor. It was Joy and was Silver Liningingss playbook. So it was the same director and same two stars. Right. But it was about the a woman who made a mop that kind of got screwed over by the home shopping network. Oh But you didn't give up Is the movie good Y Mop heads? Yeah. Oh my go. M Mop wise. Yeah. If you're into movies looking at Ms, this is the one for you Ding wise, directing, screenplay, absolute dog. You get to see so many moop shots. That's what they call them in the Mop circles. Oh man, I waited for the moop shot. Back in the day it used to be a bit taboo to go down on a mop What's another moop movie? Oh if U HF, Stanley Spanowski, really That is one And then of course there's a Mop at Christmas girl. Yeah There top the toxic adventure he. Oh yeah, That's right. And one with Peter Dinklage that came out this year Oh yeah, that's right U I see it? Directed by Macon Blair, the star of Blue Rood. Oh, I like that movie. Yeah So why not see the toxic could end? There's a direct line Anyways, so I hunked at someone who for roning over a goose. and it made they made it to The other side. I hope they could laugh it off. I the goose. because I am as soon as I realized what was going on, I started laughing. Yeah, it's and I have you ever seen like road rage Oh. Oh yeah. Yeah. I saw years and years ago two guys pull over and actually get into real fight and I was like, you guys neither of you ever been a fight before. You guys don't to hold your hands. you're grabbing at each other's shirts. God You spat I'm sorry. It is interesting when both of them get out because it's The way to win one of those fights is stay in your car. Yeah. You win. And other only other guy can do is like hit your car, but he's not a street fighter. He can't tear it apart. That's right or Michael Jackson. Or Michael Jackson? Yeah I like on the news sometimes they do a story where a bunch of ducks have gone down a drain and they pull the ducks out of the drain. That's nice. It used to be back in the day it was taboo to go down a drain M U what's going on with you? this past week, I went to Salt Spring Island where my in laws live there In laws. And I'm in love with my in laws. U and it's a very nice's very nice island and I fly over. I always fly and the weather has been insane the last month. Yeah. where we're in summertime. I know I jumped in a lake for crying out loud. Like actually like she took the littleittle harbor air Ab how many seats are in those little planes? Good question. there's The series of double seats and then there's a series of single. I think there's four single, four doubles and then up by the pile. And you have to give them your weight. Yeahight And the weight of your luggage. Well, they get to guess your weight. Yeah and then look at your idea of you are not the size. If they're wrong, you ride for free. ye And then in the air, you hit the big mallet and try and get it to the top to ring the bell. The carny stuff. Yeah. elbows up Yeah, the uh, uh So yeah, like they're they're very nice airline. They're very fun, you know, they the pilots are kooky And what do you mean? They're just like mysterious and Oookf, yeah. I mean the job doesn't discriminate against. You think I could do a bar of oil I I was in a plane once where the guy was like, check this out and he went like sideways to look so we could look at some buffalo or something. I was like this stinks. I know the other people on this plane like this. I hate this. It sucks But The plane behind it was haawking their horde. Yeah. It's Buffalo. Ites Buffalo. Lave alone. Hey, by the way, you know who owns the most buuffalo in the world? You just died, Ted Turner Oh this He was at the show last year too. Oh no. he was there overnight. Yeah invented the format, so Um The So yeah, this for the first time ever I sat at the first row, like right by the where the captain was. Oh so he could braid his hair. Yeah. And you didn't have enough, but I was like, donon't worry. small braid it'll be small braid. I'll put like those three a red a yellow and a green bead on it U Is' up close? That was fucking horrible. Yeah. E bump, every little thing, you're soaring into the airor seat. And it's I was like I don't usually get sick like air sick I feel like I was Right W that double yesterday or on the way over? That was yesterday. Oh Yeah. No, the way over, no problem sitting in the back row, having a blast. Did your inlws live over on Sw Spring Island or they It was just a vacation. o They live there? vac really. Yeah. Isn't that what we were calling them? We were doing in loavs In los In loavs. Yes. But I do like we might just keep changing in logs. In logs. yeah Um But whyy am I freakedness? Why do I have to be like pronunciation P.. H have fun transcribing this nerds U Isn't there a guy who No, he transcribed or he wrote episode descriptions of every episode or something like? Oh no, I think it's like someone there's like an AI dat. Yeah now it just does it automatically, doesn't it? Oh we could pull up one of your episodes, any episode, pick one. We could find the transcript instantly. Frank Constantine. firstirst appearance. Last year the only other appearance. Let me get there Okay spamped for time. Yeah I have it here Um what do we want to say? Do we want to just read last year's episode? Yeah, please But I'll be Dave And you be Brent. Oh these are all the times where the word Constantine came up. Okay. eight ninety five that was Brent Constantine. U that all a transcript? Yeah. Oh wow. And it came up more than once. Someone else mentioned me on the show. probablyrobably we talked about the movie Constantine. Yeah Yeah or like. Clarark was sort of known as a cononstant team. Nice Right up to the end. Um so, you know we he passed away through threeree two One Yeah He was blown up on New Year's E If you guys are over seventy years old, I hope you enjoyed that He Dick Clark young thing, I'd never understood because I only ever saw him as a man and I was like, he looks like a normal man. Yeah. Like they're like, he has an age. and I'm like, he looked like this when he was a teenager. Yeah, my kids are Do that to me whenever I take Paul Rud They're like that's just a man. For me and the kids, we just finished getting through all Dick Clark's roockin New Year's Eve from the beginning. Yeah Yeah, completely. It's probably starting in the fifties, maybe. We finished young Sheldon and then I was like Do do you want to look at small red Do you want to lo that allright? Yeah You want to look at him? Yeah. Of course I do. He look alright. Yeah. He doesn't age. Yeah, he's got a smokeking bot. Just like Tom Cruz. Yeah, what was of the Tom Cruise marathon? What was number one? What was Let me go to my list because I have notes on every way What was the total number of movies you watched That to be like over twenty, right? Hold on guys. Well, he's made eight mission impossles. They'll probably only twelve others. Okay, so I'll start at the bottom And then I was like Drake did Yeah Now we're where So there's forty five. The first one was losing it. whichich was like a team a chronological order? No, this is in ranking order. So I'm gonna to start at forty five and then we're gonna go to But also was that the first one? No, the first one was Is the outsiders? was that his first? No He had a small part in a movie called Endless Love. Did you watch that one? Of course I did. Yeah. It was his first on screen role, ons screen role, please. edit that out. and' tell my inlogs my inlws. My in logs. In lows. Yeah a small part and it his part was he inspired the main character to burn down the house of the girl he was infatuated with And he was only in the movie and that was pre before they fixed his teeth. So you can sort of divide Tom Cruise into different eras as I have in this list, which we can post Yeah to the Facebook. giveive us the top three. What are your top top three? Yeah and the top And also let's talk about the eras. Okay. Well for me, okay, you guys might disagree. My number one is World of Worlds Okay, we might disagree And Magnolia And then color of money I was just playing at the Park theater really Yeah, whichich is A sequel to the Hasla. Yeah, that's right. And I think They should make a sequel to it in modern day, who could play The young Tom Cruise that Tom Cruise mentored You' an age. He doesn an age Yeah Fiveish shrinkle. U Yeah and Alf should come back Absolutely So the eras do is the first era of him bad teeth Yeah, are there other areas I know that like When he made Mission of posossible to and Vanilla Sky that was sort of shoulder length hair er out. Yeah. And then he sort of got like lightly canceled for a bit, you remember? when never jing on a coach. Yeah and for like the nutty things he does Yeah getting mad at bal hourly And then kind sorry, was he in any movie? probably nice to me? He was produced by Scientology like the way that no feel he never like I don't think they produced movies did they just older They starer. Oh okay. But he wasn't in that. I had a I feel like Look who's talking. That was a sent, but not the sequels. Well, both the leads are Christ Alli and Joh Traval. That's a good call But I could never When it came out, I no one believed me because I was eight U anyyway So anyways, I'm on the island. Having having a coffee before before I get into the plane. And in the coffee shop, they've got a like free newspapers And there's one that's called It was like called the Rambler or something like that. And it was consonspiracy newspaper and like is from likeike is it published on Sal Spring Island? I don't know. It seemed like that was a lot of American news and not But it was, you know, one of the things was about the pyramid with the eye at the top of it and you know, the secret deals between this country and that country and U you know, how to keep your freedom and all these top ten tips. your freedom, how to make a great lizard people pie. Number one, War of the Worlds. Yeah, it it was funny because usually the giveaway things are just kind of like, here's what's going on in the community. Here's you know, your arts preview or whatever. This is like this hard hitting C conspiracy newspaper. And there wasn't just like two there. There was a whole stack of le thing. Wow.'re not they're not flying off the shelves apparently. Were they free They were free and it was in the crossword No crossword. just the target that you practice shooting your enemies with. When you looked at the pile, did you look around to see if there was another guy in the corner looking at you with his fingers crossed like this?le p, p, pase,lease pase pase It's odd to see, I mean, that was the original place to put a conspiracy theory was in a self published. manifesto. Yeah, this as opposed to You know, the comment section of your podcast. Yeahah. Bnt's such a good looking guy. and hey, guys, here are a few groups I think should be exterminated. Like if you agree. It's not a conspiracy the. Well yeah, sry about that edit that out. They' the boy's just really a brick wall today, isn't it? The only advertisement in the thing must be the good wer demographic. Yeah No, it must have been the guy's wife because it was like she was a reikie. Oh yeah type of person. So that's the thing about these islands, they attract Hippies, consonspirersy guys Uh peopleeople who retired? The Venn diagram of hippies and consonspiracy guys Yeah, sort of a horseshoe theory, right? Like they go from different angles back to the same point. Yeah. hippie and Yeah, you go so far hippie that you become conspiracy hippie. Right. Yeah. I mean, it's all a big antix stup Another Vat basasted. Y Um, So this I was looking at that And then ye Something just hell off the sh. That's true. Did I knock that? No, I didn't touch it. don't worry about it. That was That's gonna Yeah, I got some It was a A doctor. Yeah was Amazon Choice, Dave U you USBC wall adapter. Yeah U, case you're wonder So I had that and then you go and you check in The airplane they give you a laminated card and they're like, Oh, yeah, and then they take it from Yeah. You have to be there fifteen minutes before boarding So we're walking around and then I decided this was not a good decision by me, but I was like, I'm just going to go back there and use the bathroom And I was like, I'll see you down to the plane. And then as I'm walking back, Sally' sayys like, hurry up, hurry up likeikeur go, go, go. So and I is it because of that cup of coffee you had? Yeah went right through me And I was discombobully. So I walked onto this the wrong Pier and you could see these people they were having a conversation. they were just looking at me. What a fool this guy is He's like you can't go down that hereere's a private per U So then I had to get directions to the right here And u Oh, the lady was so pissed off when I got there with my card. She was like, no running and I was like, no worry. No running. hurry. No running on the pier. Yeah a rule? Yeah, I guess I see that on the plane, but yeah, no horseplay, no rough housing No hamburger, no milkshake cup. Yeah Yeah so it and this is another first time I've been late for one of these flights and where they they let you know that they do not Like what you've done. Like it's not to you, if you go to E Air Kennedy, say hey, mister F, they don't care. They don't have a vested interest. you're l you're sitting behind the pilot the whole time and he's swearing at you Late ass bitch. Youve got to sit up front with me. That's what happens. your punishment. I had to sit up front because there's bathroom on those little planes, right? Now what happens if you have to go to the bathroom? You are wetting yourself. Okay. See, that's why you went. I only a minute flight. Yeah, I should have been able to hold it. I don't know why I thought I could do both, but are you D you do this stuff a lot? Is Sally always mad at you Yeah, we have kind of a Fred Wilma situation But it's always like, Now I can make it. I'm not which one you think. I just have to prehistorically pee over here. It's a living. living. Which this turns into future generations oil. Well, this cave man pissed I love that episode from the Archie Cics guysy. Yeah, the Archie Cics version. The fact that the Flintstones were on in prime timee has always been a head scratcher to me. I don't know why I mean people were watching by candle lightight Tue Yeah, the TV took so much power. they had to turn everything else off He I mean, color. Yeah, color what? You know, we watched reruns of it. The fact that it was Yeahah, there's like Seven days a week of programming they need to film. so true. That's one of the most successful shows. It lasted for decades. It was the young Sheldon of its day. And there was a spinoff, right? Flintstone kids? A Jetson's maybe. Jetson's. Yeah. Well, there was a crossover Jetson's Flintstone. But is it the same? W they both Hannah Ba? Yeah Yeahah,annah Bberas What are the other ones? Wacky racers was Flintstone in that? U no, but I know what you're talking about. Yeah. That was all the other Hannibar. They had a big spinoff Vitamin brand. They did Do you ever take Flintstoness vitamins? I think that's the cultural touch pointo for the Flintstones that because the vitamins are still around. I think they probably made them one time in the sixties and to try to Yeah, get rid of them. They're now in gummy form. Okay, well, I stand correct They're one of the few kids vitamins that have iron Oh, really And do you know can you recall the slogan or the catchphrase or whatever you want to sayith jingle, jingle? Yeah C and stone vitamins suck your d. Back in the day, that was a controversial commercial to watch Yeah. now you'd see ten million, one million strong and growing. One million strong and growing. We have plans don't? O strong I grow. Was that the song? Yeah. I thought it was You have a dev a dooo. No that's the Tinstoness vitamins are good to chew Really You just made that up right now. I know you did Hey, you be the judge. Was Dave correct or was Brent correct? Answer in the comments and vote with your scene points right now. Yeah. Dial one nine hundred eight four two, seven four, two, six. Yeah. If you agree with Brent. And one, dial four if you agree with Dave. And if you think Graham should die five acccording to the AI overview ten million strong and growing. Okay. All right. mine wasn't real No, I think you've just outed yourself as somebody who made up a jingle. No, you are A liar. You are the scum of the earth. Yeah. Oh. Oh you've made your bad night U Do you guys want to move on to some overheards? Yeah I'm Graham Clark, co host of Maximum Funds. Stop podcasting yourself. and I'm here with Max Fund member of the month, Matthew. Hello, Matthew. How are you? Hi Graam. Thank you for supporting a thing that you love, that's something that you listen to. I do it as well and I love being able to do that for the podcast that I listen to. Plus, you're the Kings of Boko. Absolutely, we are. I appreciate seeing those coming in. Now, do you know what your perks are for being the member of the month I do I mean, I got to talk to you Which is kind of the big thing, of course the the best. The parking space. Yeah. And I think there's twenty five dollars in the Max Fun shop And you also get a bumper sticker. Oh, That's right. Yeah, so is there anything else you'd like to add? Talking to other people out there that are maybe considering joining Maximum F? Knowing that you're supporting something that you like that brings value and happiness to a ton of people, That's a good feeling. You're fighting the good fight Support the shows you love, including this one. Check the show notes for a link or go to maximumfund d. org slash join Hi everybody, it's Ellen Weatherford. And Christian Weatherford People say not to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. But we can judge a snake by its ability to fly or a spider by its ability to dive, or a dung beetle by its ability to navigate with the starlight of the Milky Way Galaxy On J the Zoo of U us, we rate our favorite animals out of ten in the categories of physical effectiveness, behavioral ingenuity, and of course, aesthetics. Guest experts, like biologists, ecologists, musicians, comedians and more join us to share their unique insights into the animal kingdom. Listen with the whole family on maximumfun dot org or wherever you get your podcasts Overheard. Overheards. When you hear it, we want to hear it. It's only fair You tast me Robert De Niro U and you know what, if you listeners hear anything funny or see anything funny, or I'll go as far as saying if you had a really boring dream You can send it into SPY at maximumfund. org. We like to start with the guest, Brent Do you have an over? Yeah, of course. I have a few I hear. I have a few, which is alloued, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. because you're I mean, you must be hearing a ton of shit. I hear so much stuff. Yeah. Last So yesterday, last night I was on a call with customer service with Square the point of sale because the program was crashing And I was talking to the guy on the phone and I could just hear these like dogs barking in the background viciously barking while he's trying to g gently guide me through Deleting and reopening an app And then while there was a big pause, I was just like, are those your dogs He said No, I's like, they sound really big. And he said, they are. I was like, well, where are they? And he's like, they're outside the building So there's someone else's dog that lives at the building? he said No. And I said, well where are they from? He's like, They're just dogs that live at the building and people have to feed them to get out So I said so they so they're feral dogs that keep you captive. He's like, is there anything else I can help you with tonight I thought, Oh wow. You gott to feed them to get out. It was was I'm pretty sure it was South America because I could tell by the accent of the dogs. Wow, Hell Bark the I don't know if I've ever seen a dog fight. I've seen a lot of screwing around in a dog park. Before that like detail about feeding them to get out, I thought it was going to be that this guy is in prison and No, these are just the dogs that keep us in prison. Yeah That's the punishment they have to be tech support for square point of sale I I think that there is prison labor that does that kind of thing. There a lot of the call centers are in prison. And then the other one that would be probably a good job in prison 'cause you get to practice using a phone what you lose all the context for while you're in like, o my Godd, you have to learn about deleting an app. Like, Oh my go, okay, This is cool Yeah, Yeahah, applicable skills to the outside world and plus fun phones phone time. Yeah phone time is screen time. And then yesterday morning because I was trying to listen, this last night. this was yesterday morning. I was at the BC liquor store picking up liquor and the you go in the back where the liquor guys are And I could hear them, they're called Y notos. A lotot open I expector and So they were all kind of Josh and. These are all employees. emmployees of BC Lquor. Okay. And There's one guy I'd never seen before. Hes seemed a bit more jocular than the others. And he was asked them ye, you guys seen Terry today? And they're like, oh yeah, was he crying again? He's like, not in the building at least. We ate Terry, don't we? There There's this guy who's always crying. We gotta feed him so he can get it. U And then I'll sayry. I'll wait I have one more. Okay, we'll come back all Dave, do you have any al heard? Yeah, Well, I mentioned earlier that this involves an electric scooter. U So this past Sunday was the Vancouver Marathon. Bimo BMo Vancouver marathon and and half marathon and the route goes down Camby has this area Yeah and It must start very early because I was walking my dogs at like ten or eleven. And I kept seeing people who had finished the marathon with like their bib on and like a metal. Yeah Everybody gets a medal. I know get me started on G Z generation of marathon runners. And there was a guy there was like It looked like a guy and his girlfriend and the guy had run the marathon. He was wearing shorts and a bib And his girlfriend was just head must have just been watchatching it or she ran it in street clothes But they were just riding down the street on two electric scooters. Okay. And then the guy stopped his in the middle of an intersection. and got off and just started dry heaping. No no. And meanewhile, his girlfriend's just standing there and I'm She's looking at me like Design your fu pject She was a fan. Yeah yeah. Yeah. One of my favorite Uh justust dry heving. 'sot not getting anywhere though. I don't know if you want to. Yeah, I mean, sometimes you just gotta get that heat ve. I mean those bananas you and running thems mean Have you ever run a marathon before? No no. Have you? Yeah, I've done the Beo a couple of times. The full or the half. The half. I I don't think I could do the full Pots did Dozens of them The whole marathons? Yeah, yeah. gainlob or No, my bio fabber o. Yeah. My fada. My fada random marathon If One of my favorite genres of Cips are people who celebrate before they cross the finish line and then somebody Steps right past them. It's very One of my favorite is people who are finishing a marathon and their legs are so wobbly. ye and they're shooting themselves. I love it. Yeah. Just standing in the corner with my fingers crossed. Come on, and then come on, come on, come come in You wantan to hear that fart noise that precedes it I guess I'm sure there's Pople that Gamble on marathon races? Oh yeah, well, if someone just broke the world record. the first sub two hour Can you imagine doing that or two hours? I can't even watch eight episodes ofng Sld gonna say Little Sheldon My overheard is just just happened right before the podcast. I was sitting in the plaza not the one that's still under you know operation or whatever. Under construction? Yep, that's the word. not operation. cononstruction. Yeah. Every day a workmen come and try to remove a funny bone from a guy with a light up nose ome And it was a mom and a kid and maybe like a friend of the kid And there was a lottery his role is unclear. Yeah, yeah. Well, we were casting just a wide net just friend. we're just casting you know generic friend. And there was a lottery ticket on the ground and the young girl went Oh my Godd, it's just like in a movie and like got nothing from her mom or friend.. You know, look at a movie What? No, they pick up a lottery ticket it's worth a million dollars. And the mom just said, Huh And then she picked up the lottery ticket And it wasn't a winner. She just threw it back on the ground just like in a movie. Yeah. Maybe somebody else would be confused by this Um o boy, I really needed that But how many movies does that happen I feel like I mean, the only one I'm thinking of it doesn't happen and I' thinking of one' Nicholas Cage It could have any use was go yeah, yeah, yeah whereere he just wins the lottery but doesn't doesn't find a Ticket. Yeah. I'm still trying to find my hard drive that has all my crypto on it And over to that guy, he like tryed to make a deal of Like upending the whole dump and the city like Yeah we're not interested in. I like gu I was a liar No, you think he didn't have it at all? I don't think he had it at all. I think he was just trying to get into that dump for other reasons. And that was the best story could come. knew there's treasure bury there? Yeah.. Dont just don't look what I'm putting in the dump So look at this guy it's this human sized carpet that I've got rolled up.ust a big hard drive no bititcoin on it. This is the rolled up carpet I'm going to use to bring home the hard drive. And what makes him think that spending time in a dump would make that thing operational anymore? Yeah, great point. L that surely would be cored Bring into the genius store It's just doorvear ank it down and they're perfectly white. Yeah this has five hundred million dollars on it. I don't know if you can what can you can you I don't have an appointment Um, But you think, yeah, you think he was he was a crock of shit. I think he was a liar. Yeah. You believe him? Well, no, I never thought about it. Think about it now. what do you think Why is this Sounds like something I' read about it in a certain salt sppring island Rrambler or something you believe the hard drive is real. callall in one nine hundred. What was it nine point as if I wasn't four five five. And if you think it's fake, dial four. Now you had another overheard. I had another one. And the only one I want to share this is because I have video of it Nice.f proroof. This was a couple weeks P where it didn't happen. So I was just Titer get the bug up. Grass acid That's no gallon for free. It's for her. I might need to take Iember the guy that came up with that was on Twitter and that was part of his Bio was made up a rambay thing Okay, this is a very quick video. Okay. this is this is me on my bike and I do record Yeah like front and rear camerasart in case anything happens So a rear camera is pointing up your butt. Exactly. J just in case in case anything. anything happens So what you'll see here it happens pretty quick and we all have headphones on, so you won't be able to that will take This is downtown And so from the left downtown Abbey. Yeah. look my way. There's aown Chubby little boy who appears? Over here and he says something to me. audio Hey Okay, B Is it tied to Bluetooth? Sounds like we're going to get a What easy You're riding a car? Yes. He says hi You're riding a car And as far as I could see The chubby little boy was by himself He seemed so happy about that though. He got away from the folks and now he's having a fun time downtown ' kind of a blank check meets Fular day off kind of thing Yeah, he's a kid, allright. Yeah. I actually think he's pretty spevelt And he's you didn't mention that he's got spectacles. He had glasses, He had a Kanx jersey on and he seems so happy And you can't see because he's off camera. It's u He seemed like he was waiting for something for me, like some sort of reaction. Do I am not Do you think that he had friends that were just out of sight that were like, go do it tell him. He' you lost the f fantasy football. So you have to go do it. This is our open mic as kids. You got to talk to a guy on a bike Um Do Do people ever often say things to you when you're on yourer bike or is it Is this is like a just way ges are in front of me and yeah watch out for those. Someimes people would be quite mad, I guess or they're yelling at you. Sometimes people will talk to, I have this and like vest that I wear at night that lights up so I don't get hit Yeah People love commenting on that. Like this is hilarious. moreore like What is it? What is that? Are you do you wear a helmet? Of course. Gota. Of course. I have front and rear cameras. I have I have two lights. I have my light. I have lights on my spokes as well. I want to as safe as possible. Helmets now are so much better than the helmets like just look wise. Yeah. because they have old bicycle helmets It's kind of like a foam thing that sat on the top of their head And I remember riding my bike and being told you have to start wearing this to ride the bike? Just stop ridingike on the bike. Sidewalk only, sorry, suckers. Okay, when can you sign me up for driving lessons Me and bikes there P me. What was the driving age? fourourteen, sixteen. fourourteen with learners. Learners. Yeah, that's BC leareners was sixteen. And it's insane 'cause that's only two years away from twelve. Yeah A young Sheldon yourself, behind the wheel Did you get your learners at fourteen in Calgary? Yeah. Yeah me too in Edmonton. But you had to have Somebody with a license in the Yeah. ye But you know, any there's tons of people at school that have ake license and you can drive around them at fine. W did you have your own car at sixteen? No Drove the family minivan was was my wheels What about you? Do you have a car? I had several cars. I had a lot of stepdads, so they would always have a car on hand. They could sell me at full price on the blue book price. U and those cars, one of the one of them the brakes didn't work. sure. I had to the brake fluid line had a leak in it. so I had to travel around with like an economy sized box of brake fluid. so every time I stopped refill it Um, everyvery time I stopped. I do think my lucky' st. sort of a robe Goldberg machine from inside the card to get to the I had another one where the headlights only worked. you had to go under the hood and like physically attach a wire to the battery. Okay. Yeah. What brand of car are we looking at? That one well that That one was like a Learon, the breraak one and then I had a Mercury Sable and that one died because I Sabable's a big car It was a it was a modern era one. Okay. The Le Baron was a bit boxier and then I had a Bronco two That accidentally like accidentally got in a big car crash. Yeah some one. Yeah. What's the difference between a Bronco twoo and a Bronco O? Well, if you're a fan of the original, a lot of the cast didn't return. I rank it about the middle in Tom Cruise'. Hey edit that out, please. That'll edit that. Yeah. Wait, did you say all three of the top ones or did you just say War of the Worlds and then we moved on? No, I remember I remember Magnolia. Yeah. And the third one was the color of money. Yeah, that's right Nice, okay. Yeah Um do you agree U I haven't seen I've only seen Magnolia of those three And so it's my favorite of them. I like what I don't remember the actual name of it, but lived I repeat Oh yeah, ge of tomorrow. Edge of tomorrow That's really terrible name for a mov. It was really good. It was great. Yeah. ye. yeah. I like that and I like a lot of the Mission of posossibles. Yeah. they are fun. Yeah, a lot of them are good. you know I mean, Separate the art from the artist, right? Yeah, that's the most important thing do. We hate the movies, loveve is poluse We definitely want you to do that when you go see Graham's show separate Absolutely. The The one trying to think of the one Tom Cruise movie that saw Ohh yeah,ere's Born on the fourourth of July in this list. That was a real Oscar R. Yeah, I didn't care for that one too much. It was overly. It was a bit like overwrought. Yeah. but you know what? he was going for something You got And he got it. Did you watch as part of this, did you watch Tropic Thunder with his Yes, I watched. I even watched Austin Powers three, which he has a cameo in the beginning when he plays the movie version of Austin Powers Powers, thank you. Yeah Danny DeVito as Professor Evil Minnie Mnie Mie. Oh, who's Professor Evil? Who is Kevin Spacey? Oh. Oh, this movie has stood the test I can't watch now I can't watch a Kevin Spacey film without just Oh really The important message separate the art from the art That's right. That's right. What was his art? What are his big movies Orange with the new black Oh no sorry. that was the other That was the gu Thank you. Th a movie. It was in American Beauty. Yeah. was in usual suspects, he was in seven He seven, you gotta see Kax You got to see pay it forward. And is there no, man without a face is Mel Gibson. Yeah. Pay it forward. I think he had He was without a face He was just the voice? Yes At like a drive in or drive through No He, you know what I want to pay for Job to drive through an American beer He does. Yeah, yeah. But why can't I remember any other wasas he in a comedy at any point? I guess K Pax was probably a comedy. Not to him. He was in I watched recently or it was on TV. It was the first movie I saw Nudity in. Oh and it was on cable and so I recorded it so I could see that Nudity again. He is like the heavy the bad guy in Theen No Evil Here No Evil? Okay withith Richard Pryor and Genean Wild. Oh like the actual that. I love that movie. was k Yeah. they're full nude the whole thing. It was a different time. It was a different time. We could't make that movie today, I'll tell U the stars are dead. O canceled Now we also have oververheard sent into us by people all over the world. Long app. Yeah. Yeah, we're getting I was gonna say It' a two part episode If you want to send one in, you can send in SBY maxfund dot org This first one comes from Travis W in Providence, Rhode Island I was on a train from the Denver airport to downtown. Two good old boys with southern accents were in the seat in front of me, onene said to the other. Yeah, she's the craziest bitch I ever dated. I swear to God She do alla snakes. That was on a train? Yeahah, there was some good old boys on the train. guuy that lost the snakes in the divorce. I got the legs, she got the snare. Yeah. They were lizards when we were together. But I now have these scrumptious lizard legs. And I travel by train. Thats of brend. I'm gonna be opening a lizard like restaurant. You guys got any open mics coming up? I'm single please well in this day everybody, a snake This next one comes from Michael in Michigan Two kids on the playground talking about their enemies Yeah, my uncle's nemesis is burgers. He can't cook the perfect burger. My uncle. you nephew. I can't cook the perfect burger All right, let's play. Do you want to be Howard Stern or do you want to be Pound Ranger No, let's talk about my uncle's shortcomings You just can't grill. You got one of those grill uncles. But what if he wass the one saying like, I'm getting close Yeah that person doesn't feel like Ite seems like an uncle thing to try. Yeah. I'm trying to smash it in different ways. That could be a good bodega burger no way them burgers have bodeas.esn't matter, right. This last week comes from Jessica M I had a dream last night, this is a boring dream that my local H and M moved their kids clothes from upstairs to downstairs. Okay And they replaced the clothes area with a built in bookcase and a handful of books That is a b dream. It is a phenomenaly. I like local H and M. Yeah. L there's one on every corner of. Where's local H andM? Arob they allall dowown? Probably kind theenter center. O metro toown Oh yeah, G go to Metro Town. Is there one in Richmond Cent There should be ye Mall of choice of a I'm taking the train. It Fast fashion Sure is slow to get there though. Yeah. a locally jam. Yeah, that's what the train's all about. Just really enjoying that ride Well, in addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls and voice memoos. If you want to send a voice memo, it's SBY at maximumfund dot org if you want to call us, it's one eight four, seven seven nine seven six three one, that's one of Spypod one like these people have la. Hey Dave, Graham in posossible guests. This is Victor C in Delaware. and I was walking through my city's downtown area just now And there' a security guard that I walks by and your off blach is the phone.ere we go. But I told you, mom, I'm not about your ching pale but I'm playing at games is mom.yway, no freaking way off a go. Y Mom just wants you to meet somebody. Yeah. That was definitely a call coming from prison based on And the quality Anyway, the dogs are starting to bark. I gott to get to my call center. I' chasing tail. Dogtail. Yeah Through the day, we chase the dogs. In the night, the dogs chase us. was delicate dance. We had with ourcadine compatriots. What was it he the guy was talking about having sex to his mother? Is that what he was saying? No, his mom M only said I'm not chasing t I'm not chasing tail. Yeah. so his mom was like, you're just out there chasing tail. I'm not he's playing games. playing game. But he was working as a security guard So he probably shouldn't be on the phone with his mom during his shift. Yeah. He's supposed to be tapping all those circles around the building with his phone. Yeah, That's a thing everyone knows, right? I didn't know that it was on a phone. I thought it was just some device that they had It's a thing security guards do when they do their round. Yeah, they have to prove it now that they had they tapped the circle to on the wall so the When charge know that I'd run around at the beginning of my shift, tap them all and then go. I had jobs where I had to like you know, fill out a paper was in a different room. Yes. Yeah. not anymore. It's all digital these the art of I guess I could have forged it though. I could have put times in. Yeah Yeah Um, look at that twenty twenty. Here we go Hey, Dave, Graham, and possible guest, Greetings from Northern New York on the south bank of the St. Lawrence River I was in a liquor store with my brother and mother and a fellow comes in and he says M And his wife says, what And he goes, but So I got some cheese curds in my pocket he wasosed to come over from Quebec. Yeah. and you want them to be a little warm when you eat them, you know, You don't want them to be right out of the fridge. Do you think he Add those bird noises in post I mean, that's the difference between sending a voice memo Yeah calling our number. Hey Dave Graham, a possible guest G. This could have been monkeys. Yeah. upstate New York. He he always said he was on the banks of the St. Lawrence River. so he was standing out on the river. It sounded like a beautiful day those beautiful birs. I mean, they sound beautiful. That's theater of mind They could have been really ugly birds. two birds fighting for all you know. That's why you guys don't do those video calls anymore. Yeah. And we don't ugly month is over. It's only handsome month here. So you know those were beautiful birds Bran here a lot. Hser than I remember. Yeah. That's true. And you know what? I'm rediscovering it myself. Thanks a lot, guys. And here's your final phone call Hi, Graham and Dave and probable guest. This is Jennifer from Virginia, calling with an overheard of the kid variety For context it is currently a couple days before Mother's Day I was walking to the park with my family after picking the kids up from daycare My five year old son is walking a few steps behind me. My son yells, Mommy Yes Do you like chicken? Yes and we keep walking Then again Mommy Yes Do you like purple? Yes Another pause. Mommy Yes. I was not asking for Mother'sday I know this stretches the definition of an overheard, but I thought you would enjoy speculating with me. what in the heck is going to happen to me on Mother's Day? Okay, off I go. You're gonna meet Grimace. and he's gonna give you chicken Mc nuggets You're gonna eat an undercooked chicken. Itsurn forur Balinda. Mother's Day is coming up, so you gotta get to those open mics. Yeah, yeah, yeah, do your Mother's Day material before it's it's up As we were getting this U was as I was playing that, I got an email from Netflix telling me that the roast of Kevin Hart will be happening on Mother's Day at five PM. We know you're worried about it. It is happening. Yeah So, you know Just go on living at least one more day I'm going for me of these daily Netflix updates about yelling that at a guy who's out on the ledge of a building. No, Kevin Harts a Kevin Hart roast. They're gonna make short jokes. Yeah, they're gonna make short jokes. He's got kind of a high pitch voice. They're gonna make fun of that. Yeah, he's very rich. V Jji.s in Ji. He's Jumaji. make fun of his friendship with the Rock. Yeah, exactly. Make fun of his movies that no one sees He makes ten of a year. He he also made a documentary about himself. This sounds like a roast right now guys.. Yeah, we are a warm up act for the roast. We just let people know what a roast look Here's what's off limits. Sure, Jo. Um Yeah, you know what? Oh to be a fly on the wall of those that writer's room for the for the roasts, you know what I mean? U well thank you again, Brent for being our guest. Yeah Um, you're looking at The screen or the time or I was looking at the time because how long are your episodes usually? Three or four hours. this is a short.. Okay. Thank you very much for being our. guess. Thanks guys. Thank you all you out there listeners. If you live in Vancouver, stop by the twenty four hour stand up marathon. If you're not, can you get a bundle of seventy five minutute Uh junks Oh J Oh what do you mean? Well, like if you go to see him, you buy a ticket for a five minute chun. Yeah. and And you could also get a day pass andan get a seasons pass and come every weekend. You can come every weekend and Graam's forced to continue to do it. the roast of Kevin Hart, will be next weekend, ye He will he might not be there. Yeah, but I'm going to record some stuff and hopefully they put it onuring the rast. This year again, it is if you want to watch on the stream, it's free, but you can donate through the stream and you can send us your jokes there too. a lot of them were kind of some of them were kind of mean last year the Be night chat jokes? Yeah. sure. Yeah A lot of these keyboard tough guys And the donations go to what? Little Mount Well, yeah, goes to the Little Mound gallery and then partial proceeds as well go to the downtown Eastide Women's shelter. this year. Centerenter goes and then partial proceeds go to the downtown Eastide Women's Center. Clean take, pererfect Uh Well that road My inlws and me are going down this weekend. We're not allowed. So check that out if you got the timer in the right location and come on back next wee for another episode of stopp guys yourself Maximum Fun, a worker owned network of artist owned shows supported directly by you