Social Bonding and Cathartic Stress Relief

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It feels good when the story ends with savings. It feels good to Geiko Hey and welcome to the shhort stuff. I'm Josh and there's Chuck and Jerry's here too, sitting in for day. And this is stuff you should know And we're here to answer a perennial question that everyone wants to know Just why in the gosh darn heck do we make ourselves scared on purpose? Scare me real quick. Do something. let's do a little exercise I love Um You're starting to look old No, no, no. Okay reallyally sccaary. Say Boo or something. Oh Okay. that's gonna scare you more Yeah, yeah. Okaykay, booo. Oh my go Oh, boy, as it turns out, that was really exhilarating and I feel great now. Yeah, well, you overcame a fear The real threat Yeah, it is an interesting question though, and thanks to our old friends at hostiffforks. com as well as psychology today and the American Brain Foundation who have all, as well as other places looked into that weird question like you were talking about, like why would anybody pay to go into a truly terrifying haunted house or a truly terrifying movie. And like, yeah, we all know anecdotally here personally why If you step back and look at it from, you know, a rational standpoint, it makes zero sense whatsoever. Like we're purposefully stimulating a what's meant to be like a unpleasant experience a unpleasant response in ourselves Yeah, for sure. You know, we'll get into that in a second. We need to sort of delineate though, like what we're talking about. We did an episode on fear a while back. It was a long time ago, I think. It was a pretty good one. if I remember correctly We're not talking about anxiety. likeike there's anxiety and there's fear. Anxiety is the stuff that keeps you up at night than like existential threats or am I getting old? or is our country being ruined? or is there a looming war coming to our country, like things that haven't happened yet that you're truly upset and anxious about is not the same thing as fear of something that is like Somebody jumping out and saying, Boo, something that happens right in front of your face. Exactly Right. So youve got that. And fear is about something jumping out right in front of your face. It's about like an immediate to your wellbe, maybe your life and it triggers Um, the fight or flight response for sure a little more about that. When you have the fire or flight response, your're Pulse increases, your blood pressure increases, you just get ready to run or fly Um which is the only time you can fly is when you're scared That's right. There have been people that research this stuff. There's a book that we want to shout out called Scream. Scream with an exclamation pointint from Margie Kee and her colleague, Dr. Greg Siegel who is director for the Cgnitive Neuroscience program at the University of Pittsburgh But their description of what we're talking about, like paying to go to a Haunted House or something or a really scary movie is voluntary engagement with negative high arousal stimuli. So in other words, it's like, yeah, I'll give you my hard earned dollars to go into Netherworld. in October and because the thrill of getting the doodoo scared out of me is Like I enjoy that experience Jes. U So yeah, that's a great, great term for it I say we take a little break, Chuck, and then we come back and we go step by step how this whole thing goes through us Yeah, let's do it. Okay In business, there's no room for guesswork Every shipment matters, every deadline counts. 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It's called Betrayed by Bill It was in that moment I caught who was staring back at me in betrayal, or more like what? My insurance bill. With trembling hands, I grabbed my phone and switched to Geio, saving about nine hundred dollars in the process, and never to be betrayed again Now that was bloody riveting. It feels good when the story ends with savings. It feels good to Gaeiko Okay, Chuck, so we're talking about fun scary. Not fun anxiety. I don't think there is such a thing really as fun anxiety . I mean, I guess it like an existential or elevated horror movie like that develops a sense of dread Yeah, Okay. But it so rarely pays off in a good way I don't know there's a good version of it. So I think I agace. Like scary, the fun version, right? One of the main reasons why we do this, it turns out is because we feel a sense of mastery over this thing that overwhelms us because we're choosing to do this. That's step one. We're choosing to experience this u scary thing And by saying like, I'm choosing to do this, although of course, you don't do this step by step. it just kind of happens You're saying like, I'm in control. I'm in charge. Yeah, I'm going in the scary haunted house, but it's on the premise that I'm not actually going to be stabbed by this right guy. He's just going to come up like he's about to stab me, but he's not going to follow through. Some part of me knows that Yeahes. I mean, that's always in the back of your head when you walk into a situation like that. You're like, I'm going to be fine It's not like the thrill that you get when somebody jumps out of the shadows to you know, with a gun to mug you notot what we're talking about. So that's the first step is you're like acknowledging that you're choosing to do this head on. so you've got some mastery and then then the scare happens, whatever that might be, whether it's a movie, or you know, a haunted house. I'm trying to those seem like the obvious ones. I'm trying to think of other ways, I guess maybe a scary roller coaster or something if that's a big fear.ure So that's when the fighter flight kicks in and you were just flooded with you know, some really eventually feel good stuff that dopamine and oxytocin and endorphins start firing and our heart rate increases, obviously in our breathing and her blood pressure and everything. So that's like an exhilarating experience like biologically for your body. Right.. So yes, like you' You're amped, I guess is the way to put it, you know? What do the kids say these days that I am? They get toilet Givy toilet, by the way, I like Diggity toilet, let's start a new thing Boy, that six seven thing went away like quicker than I've ever seen anything go away. I was reading a book last Yesterday, it was crime and punishment. and I'm not just saying this just to show everybody that I'm reading crime and punishment. But somebody mentioned something being like sixes and sevens couldn't tell from the context what they were talking about still I think it was kind of positive or something like that, but I was like, is that where that came from originally or is it just coincidence That was coincidence because they coincidence? because they know where it came from, which I want b you to tell you Well it was a basketball player being interviewed, but where did he get? Yeah Oh I think it just came out of nowhere and it just caught on. But My whole point was that thing went away like in a matter of weeks. I think as soon as all the parents started reading it every small child, like I'm talking People my daughter's age and younger were like No, like I did it one time. She was like, U, no one does that. Yeah, I feel like that's a valuable lesson if we are ever all annoyed by something that the youer generally get into it. start saying it ourselves. just adopted ourselves for a week. Yeah For sure I love it. That's a good We should test that out but the next stupid thing comes along. Okay You got it. All right, so where were we? Fight or flight? Yes. Yeahes, so we're in fight or flight mode. I feel bad for the poor person who we're describing because they've been stuck in fire or flight mode the whole time we were talking about toilet. That's tr But we're back, person. so don't worry. because Now your body, your parasympathetic nervous system kicks in is like, cool out, everybody. Let's just mellow out. Nothing actually happened threatad is gone And you can just feel great. You can feel relaxed You can feel maybe even a sense of giddiness You know, Yeah because you're experiencing something that you still it's it's a it's a transition between still having your fight or flight response going and the parasympathetic things starting to kick in and take over. and while they're kind of those levels are adjusting. It's a very specific unique b kind of feeling Yeah, for sure. And you can see that step Uh literally coinciding with the next benefit rather which is like you're almost always doing this with like friends and family or something. like you're out to have a good time with a group, maybe or a small group. So you're building like a bond of an experience that was scary that you share together and like You see it when people are exiting Netherworld or when they're coming off of that roller coaster, this almost euphoria of the shared experience everyone has and you're all talking about it. like, oh my God, that one part, that one room where the guy had the chainsaw and I saw like on your face like you were about to dooo in your pants. and It's like it's exhilarating. It's it's like a high that you can see everyone like reliving the experience together and this bond that they created, that's just like super fun. Yeah, it is. because I I mean, you mentioned oxytocin being released. That would explain that bonding, you know Yeah, for sure. And also why sometimes you'll like Press your face into the chest of the Whever you're with probably the person that you're with Sometimes those places are dark For sure. You know what I' You don't want to do that do a perfect stranger? No You're like, oh, you smell like onions. You're not my friend. My friend smells like cheese. So yeah, foot cheese