Future Outlook and Career Advice

I think dance has a way of also forcing you to build a certain amount of resilience for things because I mean, you're never going to get better if you just keep getting frustrated at things And so I think I had to like learn to be like, you know what? I'm going to do my thing. I know I deserve to be here. I wouldn't have gotten a job if people didn't think that I could do it I'm Caitlin, a former professional Ballerina turned dance educator and career mentor, and this is the Brainy Ballerina podcast. I am here for the aspiring professional ballerina who wants to learn what it really takes to build a smart and sustainable career in the dS industry Peling back the curtain of the professional dance world with open and honest conversations about the realities of becoming a professional dancer. Come along to gain the knowledge and inspiration you need to succeed in a dance career on your turnerms Hello and welcome to the Brainy Vallerina podcast. I'm your host, Caitln Sloan, and I am joined today by Kendall Aadaman Kendall has danced professionally with Merrick Dance, formerly Missouri Contemporary ballet and Lexington Ballet I was lucky enough to have Kendall as a student when I was the director of the schoolchool of Missouri C contemporary Ballets. This feels like a really special Full circle moments now get to interview her as a professional dancer So Kendall, I know that I'm gonna to know a lot of the answers to these questions, but my audience won't. So I'd love to hear. And actually this one, I don't know. why did you take your very first dance class? Actually, it's kind of a crazy story. When I was two and a half, I was dancing with one of my friends And I ended up getting a spiral fracture in my femur My gosh And was in a Spica cast, which is like full body cast for six weeks And when I got out of the cast, I was walking funny. so I guess they don't typically put kids that young in like physical therapy. so the doctor suggested dance or gymnastics and then It stuck I mean, I asked my parents at one point if they would have put me in dance had I not broken my femur and they're like, probably not. Wow. Yeah. it was meant to be. Yeah. What was your training like growing up? I started at three, like a lot of kids and then we moved to North Carolina and I was also playing soccer and I feel like I started really getting into dancing more like eight or nine because that's when my parents were like, this is way too much. You're doing soccer twice a week, you're doing dance two or three times a week. You can't do both. like it's just It's too much obviously a pick dance. And so then from I think probably then on, I was going five or six days a week. And at that point I was at a very much classical ballet school. We had modern, but it was very much like a more ballet based modern. and that was only once a week and then Everything else was ballet. We did Saturday mornings like nine AM to three or four PM. which is, I mean, longer than I worked in a professional day typically And then we moved back to Missouri when I was fourteen And I joined the school from the contemporary ballet and continued that probably five or six days a week ballet in modern and then youth ensemble, which was once a week. And then I went to UMKC in Kansas City for a year before I started at Merrick. When did you first start thinking that ballet could become a career for you From when I was really little, I always said I was going to be a dancer, but I think it was my sophomore year of high school. I don't know if you remember this, but you were able to get us tickets, the youth ensemble tickets to go see Ay two. And I think that was the first time I really so that I could like do it for a living. Like I'd always said I was gonna to do it. I was like ten being like, yeah, I'm gonna to be a ballerina. But I think that show is where I was like, oh, I can actually make a career out of it M. How do you think your goals changed from when you were a younger student to when you were maybe like later in high school? I think as a kid A lot of the time my goals were like to be in the next level, but that's because that's where my friends were. And I just wanted like hang out with my friends, you know, just because I wanted to be around people that I wanted to hang out with. But I think when we moved Back to Missouri. We had tiny little classes at SCV. I think it must be in to other people on Friday nights. That's when like my technique started really improving a lot. And then, you know, I decided I was like, oh, I can actually do this. And so then there was like a visible goal I want to be a professional What do I have to do to get there? So it changed from like I just want to hang out with my friends to like, yes, I want to be in the next level. I want to be better, but what's after that? So out of high school, you attended UMKC as a dance major for one year before starting your career with MCB. Can you talk about all of that happens? Yeah, it was kind of crazy, honestly. So I graduated high school in May of twenty nineteen and then went to UM KC in the fall. and then we were actually on a school trip in Alabama to perform midsummer nights dre in March of twenty twenty And they canceled our show Like four hours before we were supposed to perform So we still like were able to do a run of the show so we could get on video, but we went back to Kansas City and they sent everybody home. So I finished that semester on Zoom, which I did not like. I mean I was on a F foot by four foot shower pan liner thing that my mom put together. I was also going to be like for the next year, it was going to be half on Zoom for like forty five minute ballet classes because they had to deep clean the studio between everything. And I was also going to be on the highest level for ballet and the second highest for modern And so I was like, I'm just going to take a gap here. And so I talked to Karen, Karen Merr Cndy, who is the artistic and executive director at Merrick and just asked if I could take class with the company. because then I wasn't gonna to have to pay tuition. I was gonna to get a full hour and a half class every day So I started taking class with the company. And then in October of twenty twenty, actually it was the day that I was gonna film a variation to send an audition video to another school But I was also going to talk to Karen. to see if she would be willing to let me stay as a trainee for the spring season And so the day that I was going in to talk to her about that, she talked to me first about the training. and then I stayed there for five years. What was it like startarting your professional career the same place you studied as a student. was reallyally cool. There's not a lot of professional dancers who can say that they got to dance with some of their teachers which I think is so cool. It was kind of weird because I'd known them as teachers Obviously, you have a slightly different personality as a teacher than you do when you're just dancing. But I think something that was really helpful for me is that I think I was dancing with four or five of my teachers from high school. Nobody kept treating me as a student. I was nineteen, but every single one of those teachers that I had in high school treated me as an adult. like still, you know it would help guide me with whatever help I needed. but They didn't hold my hand. I think that was really helpful. I was thrown into it, but it also like it helped to have people that I knew really well and knew me. to like help me learn how to be a professional. Yeah, it's a little bit of like a safe place where you can. you know the people and you feel comfortable. Yeah. and you know the dynamics. Yeah. It was really cool because like I said, not a lot of professional ananwcers get to say that they got to ance I mean, I danced with Elise who was on the podcast a while ago. I mean she was my teacher all four years, and then I danced with her for five seasons, which is crazy. Were there any corrections or lessons that Elise or any of the other teachers gave you during your training that really stuck with you as you began your professional career I mean, I have, you know, like the technical corrections that I still work on, like I tend to really sit in my hyper extension but I think One thing and I don't know that anybody ever like directly said this to me But it was something that's just kind of known. But I think it's something that's really motivating even now is that you're never going to be the best. There's always going to be someone better than you . for me in pushing myself in improving my technique, my artistry, different styles. I mean, that's something that's really like stuck with me. And then actually this wasn't from one of my teachers, but my parents I had a couple times that I would come home from dance just like in high school or in elementary school, middle school, whatever And I'd be like, I can't do anymore. I want to quit. I'm done And my parents every single time were like, okay But We've paid the semester for this year. So you've committed. You've taken a spot, you're taking these people's time, We've paid for it you have to finish the year. And if you still want to quit thenen we can talk about it. and I never did, obviously. But I think that's something that's really stuck with me too just in terms of committing. to things, you know, we all have our days. we're like, I I can't do it. It's terrible. But then, you know, I come home and I'm like, okay, well, I sign my contract have to finish here And then every year it still come back and like, okay, yeah, no, I'm not done Did you know the Dance slipper has remained essentially unchanged for over one hundred years The rigors of dance have increased exponentially. and traditional dance slifers fail to meet the unique athletic needs of today's dancers designed and engineered by former Pacific Northwest Ballet principal dancer, Seth Orza. who experienced firsthand the need for better, smarter equipment Orza delivers the first ever patented shock absorbing ballet shoes. The Oza Pro preserves the timeless aesthetic of traditional valley slippers while incorporating sneaker technology to maximize performance optimizing endurance, reducing fatigue, and increasing confidence Tusted by leading dancers, schools and teachers worldwide, including myself Or as it helps you feel your best so you can dance your best. Had to the link in the show notes and use code Brainy Vallerina for ten percent off your order of Oza Valley slippers today Was there any rep that you saw Mic Dance pererform as a student that you were really excited to get to perform as a professional Yeah, actually one of my favorite pieces, that I got perform and that I ever saw Maric perform. It's called Linger Longer. Eron Carmen choreographed it. The music is all an artist called Cosmo Sheldrake. The costumes were super cool. It was like black point shoes with suits And that was one of my favorite pieces that I ever saw performed, which at the time it was MCV, but I got to do it my third season with the company. And to this day, it's still one of my favorite pieces that I've gotten to perform. You know that piece the company did for the first time in the first show after I retired, and I was like, uh, I want to do that piece. I remember being so mad like I wish I got to do that one, but there's always going to be one more piece that you want to do. I' like there' one piece that I could do again, it would be that one. Yeah. And you got to be Alice. You did. That was a full circle thing because I I did it twice in high school and I was a courtier and a lobster And then for like the first time that I did it as a professional to get to be Alice, I was like wasn't even on my radar. I remember talking to my mom before we got casting and I was like, I think I would be happy if I got to be the Dorm Mouse whichich I think that would have been a fantastic fun thing to do. That is a fun part. I originated that role when we first at Alice the doormouse said it is super fun. Be to the tea party, no matter who you are, the tea party is so fun. It's so fun. It was so stressful though. Earen told me at one point, she was like, You might be the worst of the plate throwers I've seen That's pretty bad because I was pretty bad. It was true. There's a video of me somewhere. I think at least took it. I completely dropped both plates, like had them slightly in my hands and they just So for contacts people listening in our tea party scene There's a section at the very end of the whole scene where We're basically throwing plates around like frisbees likeike across the stage and over the years, that has been probably the biggest struggle. like all of us dancers could do whatever technical thing you asked of us, but ask us to throw a plate like a frisbee and we all just crumble. And I remember one time Soomeone's play going in the orchestra pit We one of those I think we had a cup Either almost got into the orchestra pit or did. It didn't because I after there's also a part where Alice like pushes the mad hatter up because he falls into the splits in the rolling chair M And so I helped him up And I had to go get the cup From Yeah fromr now. Yeah. I know we probably should have the audience like sign a liability waiver. Right? Yeah, I remember Karen saye, like just go outside and just throw a frisbee around. I think we tried through a run of the whole pattern. before Yeah run it. Yeah, that was the hardest part for sure. I mean, the m thing was difficult. Yeah for the first act As Alice, it's a lot. It's dense. Like there's no break. Yeah, W you to the second act. It's pretty breezy. Yeah, there's not. Really anything that's like terribly difficult in the second half. The most you do is the finale. Yeah. But yeah, in the first act you have all the solos, you have Falling down the rabbit hole, you have the caterpillar pie, you have Tea party, Caterpillar Pise is crazy So crazy, so hard. Yeah. And I just think it's so cool. like Having been in Alice and then seen you as one of my students get to be Alice, like I just think that's such a cool thing to see. It makes you really proud as a teacher to know that your students have Gide to that point. I loved getting to do that too because I think the video you did. Did you do both of yours with Joel as a caterpillar? Yeah. Oh no, that's not true. I did first time with Joel and second time with Jose. Okay. ye, I think we went back and forth between using those videos for learning it, that was cool too. because then you know, you scroll a certain point past that and then I'm also in the video. Yeah, it's a lobster. Yeah. Yes, I love that. And one thing that I've really always admired about you Kendall is that you have a really incredible work ethic, but you are also really a silly goose and you have a beautiful way of letting things kind of roll off your back like I've seen you get frustrated and that kind of thing, but you're pretty quick to recover and I'm just curious, do you feel like that has always come naturally to you or do you have to really work on that skill? I think to a certain extent, it's kind of come naturally. I grew up with two brothers and so You have to be a little bit resilant. Two older brothers? One older. my older brother's about two and a half years older, and then I have a younger brother who's three years younger. That's right, okay. So we're all pretty close in age, so there was, you know, just siblings So I think to a certain extent, it does, I think dance has a way of also forcing you to build a certain amount of resilience for things because I mean you're never going to get better if you just keep getting frustrated at things. During my time at Merick, there was a few things where like not necessarily dancing wise, but just a few situations where like my age or the fact that it didn't finish school would be like brought up and kind of used in a negative way And so I think I had to like learn to be like, you know what? I'm gonna to do my thing I know I deserve to be here. I wouldn't have gotten a job if people didn't think that I could do it. That I think was quite a learning curve. I'm still learning, but it's gotten better How do you feel that you grew as an artist during your time with Americ Dance Karen really, really pushed me. in ways that I didn't think that I could be pushed I mean, you know that she has a tendency to sometimes put people in roles way out of the realm of possibility the comfort z you Yeah. ye. Like I remember hand in hand, Shannon US. when she cast me in that, also my third season, I remember watching it and I was like Oh becausecause it's so intense For I mean, what ten minutes And it yeah It's not crazy la, but it's just like driving the whole time. Yeah. And I remember being like, oh man, because at that point, I hadn't done a whole lot of like the really hard hitting things And so she put me in that, and I was like, okay, well I have to, I mean, I was dancing with Elise and then who's now my best friend Ashley. I mean, they're both incredible dancers. And so I was like, okay, well, I have to step up to the plate. I can't be the woman that's bringing it down. So I think Karen has a really good way of putting people in stuff that is going to push them. that really, really changed the way that I dance. I had a meeting with her at one point and She was like, I feel like you're not pushing yourself was like, I want you to put yourself at the front of the room. I want you to be in the front when choreographers are here, make them pick you to be like featured in their piece. And I think that was a big turnurning point to Yeah, I feel like Karea is a great way of helping you Get over, whatever fear. you have because she She doesn't care if you mess up. I mean, she cares if you're being careless and you're not like trying, but if you are going for it, she's like, yeah, that's all I want and I feel like coming to MCB, maybe it wasn't the first time I'd experienced the kind of environment, but it's definitely the most Consistent, I'd experience that and just be like, wow, I really am in a place where I can just Go for it and see what happens and that's The expectation Yeah at first was really scary and then eventually really freeing. I mean, I think she for me had to really work on getting it out of me. After my third season, which was the had hand in hand. we also did linger longer And then that was the first time I got to be Alice. I think that's when I really started dancing bigger Mhm I don't know what specifically about that season, probablybably just a confidence boost A that season is when I really started to like turn into like my own dancer. Yeah. And you spent five seasons with Merrick Dance before moving to Lexington, LA And I know toward the end of your time there, things were changing really quickly and you had to make some really big decisions on a very short timeline Can you tell us a little bit about how that transition period was for you? Yeah It was not pretty The date that we found out that they were shutting things down is ingrained in my brain dririver. It was june twelfth. Karen had told us The weekend before Alice in Wonderland that she was stepping down. for the next season. and then on the twelfth, they were like, we're not continuing or ceasing operation, I think was the words they used. There was a lot of crying involved because in my mind I was like, I'm gonna dance for Karen, I'm gonna dance at Merrick. That's my place It was like two weeks maybe. I was like fully shut down My dad referred to it as like a functioning shut down state. I was still teaching danceibility I was still teaching at another studio that I was working at. Like I was still doing all of the things, but I wasn't processing anything. I was like, no, this isn't happening. 'cause also June is way after auditions happen. And I think it had been about two weeks and my dad that day was working from home and He just grabbed me and he was like, if you want to keep doing this, you have to do something You're shut down, you're not. do anything and that just it broke whatever wall I had put up and I like I had a full meltdown in my dad's office. And then I think the next day I sent my real a resume a headshot to Lexington Ballet and To days later had a phone call and was offered a contract. Had you heard that they were hiring later in the season? L how did you decide to send it there? Dara, who also danced at Merrick for four years, had messaged them and she was like, Hey, if you want a job, they're still hiring So I Googled it and then like I sent them my stuff and I was like, you know what? It's a job I wasn't really wanting to do classical and it ended up being classical, but I was like, it's a job. and even if it's just for a year, it's something to keep me in shape, keep my technique going because there wasn't a lot of other options at that point. Let's pause this episode so I can tell you about one of my all time favorite dancewear brands M Seam apparel Founded by former Joffrey ballet dancer, Jacqueline Moski MCamM apparel is designed to make you feel confident, comfortable, and elegant every time you step on the dance floor For nearly a decade, MCM Apparel has been a trusted partner to the dance community providing high quality and truly unique dance weear Whether you're searching for a striking newuleotard, the perfect flowy skirts, comfortable leggings for rehearsal, or a custom made costume, MSeam has got you covered with designs for all genders And because you're a listener of the Brainy Vallerina podcast, MT Aarel is offering an exclusive discount Use code Brainy twenty five at checkout for twenty five percent off all items That's B R A I N Y two five. for twenty five percent off everything at mCemaarel. com Head to the show notes and tap the link to give your wardrobe a refresh today What has it been like starting Fresh with Lexington Ballet? How has the season gone for you? I have loved it. Honestly, in a way, it's been very validating becausecause I spent the first five seasons of my career at Merrick and I went through this phase like as I was starting to look for places where I was like, what if I go to another place and they don't Like they hire me, but they don't like me. Like they don't like me the same way that people here do in terms of giving me casting or the way I' dance or anything. and the Second day of the season here I was given a four and a half minute solo. for the first show that we did, which I actually got to end up performing in our last show of the year two, which was like kind of cool. So I think it was very validating. Also I feel like I have grown Not just like as a dancer, but as a person this year. I've moved away from home. My whole family is in Colombia and I was living with my parents for my last season at Merrick, but here I'm the only one here so I have to figure out how to be an adult, how to do things. So that's been really fun experience too. I love Lexington. It was not Part of whatever twenty twenty five was in my brain. I was like, no, I'm not why would I move? And I moved within a month of signing a contract. But it's worked out a lot better than. could have wanted it too. So what have been some of the cool things that you've gotten to do with the company this year? Our first show of this season was at a distillery. And we got to perform outside and it was this beautiful garden setting. It was kind of cold because it of october. So that was really cool. We've done a lot of little pop up things at different places around Lexington. This like super cool fancy hotel. We got to be in a music video which is really cool. There's an artist from I think she's just outside of Nashville. Her name's B. Taylor. And so actually our first show of the year was all to her music And she came to that show and was singing it live. And so then we got to be in a music video for her that just premiered a couple of weeks ago. So that's really cool. We didn't do a nutcracker. We did like an old Hollywood style sort of Nutcracker. I think the way my boss described it was like night at the Museum meeets Nutcracker. I was called a Charlie Chaplin Christmas. I got to be Charlie Chaplin whichich is like kind of weird, but it was kind of cool too Like I looked a lot like my brother It's like the first thing my mom said to me. the show So we've gotten to do a lot of really cool things. And I also have been doing a guesting like every couple months with Fver productdion company. They do like a light up fiber optic ballet thing and it's like an hour long version of Sleeping Beauty and I've gotten to be a fairy in that twice, which is kind of fun. I feel like a lot of cool opportunities have really popped up And I know you're really passionate about teaching Adaptive dance with dance ability Have you gotten to keep teaching on this next stage? I have been teaching. I only teach like once a week. I really miss teaching Danceability though If there's a way I would love to try to get something like that started H. That is probably one of my favorite things that I did at Merrick. Like I loved the dancing, but program was like the best thing I think that I have been able to do What did you love too much about it I love the students. Did you ever teach Angie and Mindy? Yes, I love them. They're like. And I'm so glad they're still dancing. They're still in class. I love them. They're probably of the funniest people I've met in my Oh my gosh, yes They're awesome. But like some of the younger students too, one of them, her whole family came out to see the Charlie Chaplin show Oh my gosh. So like just the people and also the Pure joy that you see like when they're performing I think sometimes We forget It's such a privilege. to be able to do what we do and to see like how excited they are just to be able to get on a stage in a sparkly outfit It hits something in my brain that's just like, oh yeah Not everybody gets to do this That's another full circle moment for you because you were A volunteer with dance ability when you were in high school and then to become The lead instructor That's amazing too. I just think I feel like when I talk to you, you think that everything just kind of like happened to work out, but I hope that you know that you Did. all these things to prepare yourself, like all this stuff that you were doing in high school and all the work you were putting in. You deserve everything that you ended up doing. It wasn't just an accident. It's been very cool to see. I called my dad on Monday because you sent all these questions and I was like, I need to just like write things down So the top of my head I'm not always great And I was like it's really cool to look at like all of these things that I just talked through with my dad and like all of the things that I did or that happened or whatever to like get me where I am COVID was a horrible thing. I don't want to go through that again. Had it not happened? I may not have startarted at Merrick. Yeah Which is crazy I know there's probably some alternate universe where we're all taking some other path we would have been on if COVID hadn't happened because I talked to so many people and So many dancers stories started with a big change during COVID in their life. Yeah, it's just amazing how things happen like that sometimes you can't always plan for it. It was really cool to like look through just like the things that I talked about with my dad and just be like, Oh, wow. Yeah What are you most excited about in this next phase of your career? Honestly, I'm excited to see what happens. There's a lot of cool opportunities out there. like I'm about to Tommorrow morning I'm driving back to Missouri to guess with the new organization that was started by our rehearsal director at Merrick and her boyfriend who danced with us. I'm guessing with them next Friday. I'm excited to see what else is in the realm of possibilities I think there's a lot more than I thought there was because I was just so like setet staying where I was And then moving was like, oh, There's a lot of other things. that you can do with this Okay, Kenzall, last question for you If you had to give aspiring professional dancers one piece of advice as they're pursuing their careers, what would you tell them I have two thoughts. One is just to go for it. The worst somebody can say is no I got my first job just by asking If I could take class with the company, you have to put yourself out there and go for it Be like I said, the worst somebody can say is no And there are going to be nos, but for every no, there's going to be a yes at some point or for every three knows. There's a yes somewhere And then the other thing is, this is something my parents said to me and my brothers all the time, but really think about how you treat people. Especially in the dance world because it's so small. I danceced professionally with people that I was at a summer intensive with in twenty sixteen. or like they know people I went to school with for a year. If you're just having a bad day and you say one thing to one person, a bunch of people might find out about that. They're like, oh, do you know this person? And their friend would be like, Yeahah, but she was kind of mean be very mindful of how you Care yourself how you present yourself to people and how you talk to people Absolutely, Kendall and you've always embodied that. You've always been a pleasure to work with I still remember you as a high schooler coming into the schoolchool of Missouri Contemporary Ballet and you just brought such joy and class to the environments This has been really cool getting to reconnect with you and interview you now as a professional dancer. If anyone listening wants to learn more about you, where can we find you? Probably Instagram would be the best way. Okay, perfect. I will link your handle in the show notes for anyone who would like to learn more about you and your career. Thank you so much, Kendall, for taking the time to chat with me today. It was so fun. Thanks for having me. I had a great time. It was really good to talk to you Thank you for tuning in to the Brainy Vallerina podcast If you found this episode insightful, entertaining, or maybe a bit of both, I would so appreciate you taking a moment to leave a rating and hit subscribe By subscribing, you'll never miss an episode Angelll joined our community of dancers passionate about building a smart and sustainable career in the dance industry Plus, your range help others discover the show too I'll be back with a new episode next week In the meantime, be sure to follow along on Instagram at the Brainady Vallerina for your daily dose of dance career guidance