Katie Price and celebrity gossip

Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog, HBA on its last leg , if you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering and twenty four seven support. Call one eight hundred granger, click Granger. com or just stop by , Granger , for the ones who get it done. Hello there and welcome to the Chris Moyal Show on Radio X podcast with me, Toby Tarant in greatest boy show Rady Opax . Hello again . Thank you very much for listening this week. If you did, if you didn't listen , then why not? Oh seriously, why not? Yeah, is there anything I is it me? Is it you? Is there anything I could work on? Is it me and you? Is it stability? Yeah . Well, get used to it because Chris Moyles has a frankly ridiculous amount of holiday. Yeah. But so I'm sorry that you have to put up with me. Sometimes it feels like more than Chris actually on the Chris Moyles show. What's in the podcast? It's an excellent question. Where do you start? Well, no seriously, where do you start? I don't know where you start? So let's go back. So let's go back because it's genuinely mad in radio how much you forget what you did the day before. Yeah. As Gavin Woodward from Tony Show always says, It's a school exam. It really is. Once you finish, you never think about it again. No. Our listeners always know the show better than we do. I will forget a guest that we had sat and bear in mind, the guests sit next to where I sit . Yes. Two days before. I'll have no recollection. Yeah, and then you'll say them and we'll go, oh, of course they were brilliant. Well, I don't even do anyone near as many interviews as you guys, but sometimes we'll have a guest and I will literally Google their name radio X and see if there's a picture of us to see if there's any pictures of us that go we interviewed them it's terrible. Then I get confused whether you've interviewed them but I was listening when you interviewed them or whatever I did the interview it's very confusing. Anyway, we spoke to a dog this week. Yes, we did. And I won't forget that no. I won't forget. There will be a time, you know, a few years from now where Dita, the guide dog's coming back in, I'm going, have we interviewed Dita? Can't remember A lovely dog as well. Oh, as dogs go, what is , you know, he sorry, he. Yeah, we wanted to call her she, then he was a lovely one. He was fantastic. So that was one of our many esteemed guests . So we had Jenny Aclair, Nina Compty , Johnny Knovville and Chris Pontius from Jackass, which was one of my favorite moments ever. Yeah , and Dita the Dog , which is, you know, when you put it all together , it's nobody's fantasy dinner party. As we record this podcast it's Friday , Johnny Knoxville and Co came in a couple of days ago. Have you recovered? Would you say or not? Because you still look a little bit flustered. Well, physically no look you can still see the bruise of my arm from elect when theyrocuted me. Why have you bruised? Because I've had I've been electrocuted a few times on this show. Yeah. Didn't leave a bruise? No, I don't know, but I don't want it to ever go away. They did crank it up quite a lot. It's Noxville, isn't it? It wasn't Knoxville. He'll leave a mark on a man. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I love about Johnny Knoxville? I love lots of things. He is, although he's the host and sort of the ringle leader of Jackass , he is also the one that would never ask anyone to do anything he wouldn't do himself. He is a madman . He's come the closest to dying on Jackass. Really ? When they built a massive rocket and he sat on it and they were going to fire it over a lake and he just says, Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and I'm going to the moon . And then they press the button and it malfunctions and this finger's flying out hundreds of miles an hour just next to him and it basically if he'd been about a foot over to his right it would have impaled him and killed him. Oh my god and immediately he just patches it up and he gets on it again Wow it's a different mindset it is isn't it? Yeah I like cricket and golf yeah Yeah. That's my bag. He's a little bit more high risk, isn't it? Slightly . Anyway, I don't want the bruiser to disappear. I might take a picture of it. Oh, you should take a picture of it and then get a nice black and turn into black and white, whatever, seepar andate frame it. And Johnny Knoxville left this mark on me. It's a good idea, actually, thank you. I will. My mate, Rob has got a towel from Bon Jovi that he's never washed. Really? From two thousand four. Wow. That's pretty c ool. My dad had a when my dad announced his leaving Capitol, they did a big like leaving gig at Wembley. Right. And Bon Jovi headlines, and my mate, Rob and I had backstage passes and we ran and stood at the back of the stage waiting for Bon Jovi to come off because he were big Bonjobi fans at the time and he had a line of security leading him literally from the back of the stage all the way to a car door that was open and it always ruins the magic I think when you go because you know when you go to a gig and it's the best night of your life you have to remember that for the band it's one of their sixty nights they're doing this year.ol Autebsly. So seeing it behind the scenes, it's the best night of your life. He literally , I don't think that the final chord of their last track had finished playing and he was in a car on his way back to the house. Very cool , very cool. But also it's slightly shatter the illusion because you're having the best night of your life and you want to think, oh, this is probably his favorite gig he's ever done as well. Yeah. So years ago , Chris and I did a tour Yeah long, long, long time ago and we were playing Glasgow and we wanted to do the same thing . We wanted to, as soon as they finished, we literally ran into the car, sat in the car and then legged it to the hotel . So we did that except we got into the car, we hit a red light , we stayed there . Everyone else piled out the venue. They were just walking past the cargo. All right, Darren, right, Chris. Yeah, pretty good. How are you? Yeah, great. It took us forty minutes to move a mile. Everyone got home before you. Yeah. Everyone got home for us. Good. Good. But it's not quite the noble Bon Jovi. Not the same story, is it? Anyways, so Bon Jovi walks off stage, my Rob and I are there we figured right two songs from the end we'll run around the back. We'll wait backstage and we'll get like an autograph from Bon Jovi . Yeah. And because he had a whole line of security around him, he walked along, he immediately took off his white vest because he obviously was in a white vest. Of course. Took it off. There's his eight pack . He rubs his immaculate face with a towel and sort of his body and armpits a bit he looks up and spots me and Rob, winks at us and just chucks his towel at Rob. Wow . Which Rob to this day has never washed and still has it in his now house he lives in with his wife. That's amazing. And she's like, can you please get rid of the disgusting, crusty bon jovy towel? He's like, never. That must start walking on its own soon . Well, his fear is, as he said to me in the pub a few months ago, I said, You still have it? He goes, yeah, he's reckoning that if we ever get Jurassic Park esque technology in the future he'll be able to recreate Bon Jovi. That's what he's like and who wouldn't want that. He wants his very own personal John Bon Jovi to call his own . I did point out to him, I invited you to this gig. My dad's leaving capital, give me the tower that he never did. Anyway, what are we talking about? Oh yeah, the podcast. Enjoy, basically , if any, take anything away, just enjoy it. The greatest boy show Ray Obe . Now I've been reading a fascinating survey. This has been held about which political parties are considered the sexiest . Okay , okay. Apparently they do this survey every single year . It's a website called Illicit Encounters for people that want to play away from home. Very naughty. Gosh . So I don't think we should, you know, be taking their opinion too seriously. I don't think so either. But according to the research done with the members of the webs ites reform has now overtaken labour to become the sexiest party. Really? Which is a little bit like gosh because there's no such thing as a sexy politician. I don't think so. Being the sexiest politicians a bit like having the best room on the Titanic There's no good options. Yeah, they don't really lend themselves to sex appeals. No, it's good. I don't want sexy politicians. No, that's they shouldn't be sexy sexy Now Kirstarmer, the prime minister unfortunately he had a bad he had a bad polling . Okay . His sexy rating was less than one percent. Oh , you sound a little bit kissed when you said one percent. I just noticed this as well. Was less than one percent. It's very good . I mean, he's not a sexy man. You know, apparently not. You know, you say what you like about Kisama, you might be a massive fan, you might dislike the guy, but I don't think in anyone's world. I can't imagine him, you know, getting hot and heavy. Don't look in the eye when you say that . I am having a lovely time Thank you very much for doing that to me . Okay you've now got Rickman. You've seeped into Rickmond, so to speak. You absolutely shouldn't have . Potter , would you like me to remove my trousers? You're listening to the Chris Moyle Show podcast RD OX Doo do . Now yesterday you played a clip at Johnny Knoxville. Yes, the Jackass screening. That's right. In our nine o'clock news, I think it was. Yeah, yesterday. Yes, absolutely. Talking about the film and it was the premiere and it was it's their last ever film. Yes. And then I went on basically a five minute soliloquy. Yeah. You went a bit misty eyed talking about it because you were very sad that it was gonna be the last one. Yes, because I talked about how much Jackass means to me and how much I adore it . I am the biggest jackass fan on the planet and I am going to cry . So I've booked my tickets to go and see the film. It comes out next Friday. I'm going on the Sunday with a load of my mates that we'll grew watch uping Jackass. And I watched all the spinoffs, wild boys, Viva Bam, everything else they've ever done. Yeah . And it's so silly because here's a group of guys who basically are constantly naked . Always naked . I could honestly pick every Willyian Jackass. If you lined them up , I could tell you that's Bam, that's Johnny. That's Steve Or I could pick them all out from a lineup These stupid guys doing stupid stunts hurting themselves, getting naked all the time , and yet I'm going to cry at the end of the film because it's the last one. Yes. Because they mean so much to me. So have you pretty much seen everything . I've seen every jackass episode ever ten times over, every spinoff. Yeah. But I was chatting to my wife back there she came with me to see the fourth one in the cinema. Right. And loved it. And I was like, I can't actually see why it's so funny. Yes . Because it started off with this low budget. When you remember on MTV, season one it's basically handheld camera. What year is that? So I remember when it started and that I reckon that's oh one or something like that. Yeah, I was going to say it's over twenty years ago '. So Ive basically grown up with these guys I'm off my classes. Okay, no, it's important. We need we need to find two thousand it started. Okay, so twenty six years ago. So I was about nine ten . And when you're nine and ten seeing that stuff is seeing them hurt themselves is the funniest thing ever. Yeah . And then I've grown up and watched them get old and there's been tragedy. Ryan Dumb passed away a few years ago . Some of them have battled, Steve's come back from addiction, Bamba Jera is now coming back from addict . Like we've everyone my age has followed these guys and it feels like they're your best mate. Right. And also in this sort of world we live in right now, there's such a lovely example of positive m asculinity because there's nothing blokier than a load of guys all laughing at their willies and hurting each other. Sure. Right. So on paper it's really stupid. Yeah, yeah, but actually they' thesere lovely socially conscious, funny, welcoming guys who just happen to like lots of men and women, find stuff like that funny. Yeah . And so they're like a really important part of my life . And yet it's still just guys with their willies out hurting each other and yet they mean so much to me . As I was doing that on air yesterday, you knew full well that later on you were sur going toprise me of Johnny Knoxville and Chris Pontius. Yes. So producer Syn and myself were looking at each other going, this is absolutely grave because he's going to freak what it happens. And then off there , I said to you, I think Johnny Vaughn's interviewing them soon. Yes. And I said, I'm so jealous because a few years ago and this isn't Moyles' fault, Chris Moyals got offered Knoxville. Right . And he never watched Jackass . So he said, Oh no, I, never watch'edd it. So turned we down the interview of Knoxville, and I was basically beside myself going, you can't You cannot say Chris was like, I never saw the show. And I was like, but it's Johnny Knoxville. Yeah. Then I found out that Johnny was interviewing them and I was I just wish I could speak Johnny Vaughn. Sorry, Johnny Vaughan was interviewing them. There's two Johnny's going on to add to the confusion. And then so then after the show yesterday, producer Big Sa ini hindsight was being weird . He was basically making me record all these things. He was going, Oh, we need to record this demo for this competition and we need to record and all these different things. And I was going, Do we have to do this now? And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we have to do it now. You have to do it now. Killing time, basically. Killing time. And eventually it got to the point where I was like, Sorry, I can do this whenever like can I go now? Yeah . And then I'm glad I didn't because because I looked out the studio window and there is walking toward the studio, Johnny Knoxville and Chris Pontius. Now at this stage, I think my reaction was, oh my god, they're coming in here for the Johnny Vaughn chat or something they're that going to pre record Johnny's chat. But it turned out it had all been a ruse and Johnny Vaughn had set it all up and had introduced them to me as the biggest Jackass fan that they know. And it was a beautiful moment. Shall we do you want to hear Knoxville and Pontius? This is the carnage then, is it when they when they burst into the studio? Yes, so I'm now, I think I'm recording some stupid made up competition that the size set up and it turns out that was all a ruse to keep me in this studio as long as possible. Meanwhile in a little added layer, the reason they had taken so long was they were recording with Heart upstairs trying to make a watermelon explode and the watermelon wouldn't explode. Yes. So Big Sy was just handing me more and more made up scripts to keep me here whilst I'm going can I go home now? But thankfully I stuck around for this Hello everyone Hello. What's going on? My name is Johnny. Martin. Nice to meet you. Pleasure. Chris. Nice to meet you, sir, awesome. Don't want to leave this one with you, yeah. Thank you, Johnny. Guys, thanks. It's really nice to see you. Yeah. Good seeing you, buddy. Nice to see you. See you next time, yeah. You have such tall DJs in London. Hi guys. Hey man , do you want to have a chat? Do you guys have a chat? I didn't do you want to have a chat? While they're here, maybe we can record something with them. Absolutely. And thankfully, that was always the plan. They sat down for a chat . So you can hear you can hear I'm flustered there. You really and I never get starstruck. Do you want to have chat? Do you want to have a chat? So me chatting to two of my heroes, Johnny Knoxville and Chris Pontius on the way This is the Chris Moyle Show podcast . When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant , you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there's no room for slowdowns. With Granger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts, and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place , so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call one eight hundred granger, clickranger. com or just stop by . Granger for the ones who get it done . Bray D O Back The Chris Moyle Show . This is the Chris Moyle Show podcast Bray D O Back Hello, hello Funnily enough, I was talking about you on the show today because hello, by the way, I'm a big fan, I don't know if you can tell, I'm not handling this very well. Doing fine. But I'm a big fan. I hope he's about to lose his, you know what? Yes, but he's doing heavy breathing . I like your skimpy shorts. Thank you. Yeah , thank you. Well, this ties it nicely to what I was saying on the show today and I genuinely had no idea you were coming in is that I have seen your guys genitals more than I've seen my own . What are you sticking? Oh my goodness Okay , look at what it's like Oh the muscle stimulators yeah it really works. This is such a weird privilege. Yeah isn't it? This is the honor of a lifetime. You know, it's funny on your arm. I like it , but if you put them on your it would be even funnier. Really? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think that's all we've got time for, but it's been an honor . Could I ask you actually whilst you're doing this. Yeah, go ahead and ask you a question of all the studge. Come on, ask the question. How bad was the one when you went through the hallway and there was loaded like tasers hanging from the ceiling? I mean, I think that was visually funny and it was a little painful, but that's nowhere close to where it got, you know, like I would say I need you to get knocked unconscious by a bull. That was pretty bad. Many times. Yeah, but yeah. But you don't do you remember the pain of the bull or no No, you don't if you get knocked out, you don't remember anything. Yeah, yeah. So that's a positive in your book. Yeah, yeah. I'm fan galling here so much. You say you say sorry, I didn't mean to do that. You say one of my favorite lines ever is when you fight butterbean in a department store and if I may say Johnny, I think he just edged it on points. Lucky punch. Yeah, well he got one lucky punch and then after you're being attended to in the hospital afterwards, you ask, Is Butter being okay? Well I thought I'd killed him . Yeah, well he was lucky to get out alive . And then Podius, I think it's in the third film when you've just done a jet ski out of the pool. Oh, that was Johnny on the jet ski. You then are dressed as, I think a bunny rabbit life bird. Yeah. And you say your parents were already angry at you. You were just skipping school. And now you're getting rid of cards. Dad's gonna cut me off. Yeah. Pontius is the guy that always closes out the bit with a funny line. Yes . Yes. By the way, I've just realized I'm being a terrible radio presenter. This isn't the first time, but I wasn't expecting to see you. So this is Johnny Knoxville. Potious from and they've attached an electric shock machine to me which we've done this before, but this is way more extreme. Yeah, because Johnny Knoxville's doing it. That's nice. It works best. Well, we did it in the past, it was a little like this is absolutely excruciating. He sent her up to eleven, which I think is fair In the new movie, we have a machine that I wear the electrodes on me and put them on someone else and I can basically kind of control their movement. Right. Yeah. Chris Pods, theory looks for here, the Jackass film comes out next Friday in the UK. We had the premiere yesterday or you screening yesterday . It was kind of more of a screening yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was so fun seeing all the people like in the theater together, like having fun together. Like it was really exciting to me it's a great experience . L whenike we scre the movie, like it's such a fun time, like it's so much better than watching it at home. Like yeah, it's chaos in the air. Yeah, you want to like trauma bond with your buddies and laugh with your buddies and it was on an IMAX screen last night so everyone got to see Pony's in IMAX honor. what an honor. Yeah. Yeah, such an honor. Well, because I said this earlier on the week as well in the show that I don't think I've ever had a more fun cinematic experience than the Jackass Films in the cinema, because of that exact reason because when something painful happens, one hundred fifty people squirm together. Yes, right? And that's the beauty. So my mates and I who all grew up watching you have booked We're going. on the Sunday next weekend about twelve of us because we all grew up watching it because we all wanted to watch it together because it's the last one. So we started I mean, I was nine years old I worked out when I started so I probably shouldn't have been watching both. I was nine years old and already six foot two . Oh my gosh. I was a six foot two, nine year old . And then I watched you from nine years old and I grew up with you to today. Now also another thing, Jackass Free D , I think, there was that little wave in Hollywood where everyone wanted to make a three D film right here. Nobody used the Free D aspect better than Jackass. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. There was a moment in the cinema where a how do I phrase this? A bedroom toy , let's say floated across the screen. Yes, and everyone in the cinema was wearing free D glasses. So it was just one hundred fifty people watching this spig fly across the head. And I thought no other Freed film has actually used the technology what it was made for. And they undulate beautifully going across . They do, and then it hits somebody in the cheek. Because Cosset complained to Jeff and about a day before. I don't have any footage in the film. And we're like , say no more. I have a bit for you tomorrow. It is genuinely massive honor to meet you guys. I was saying to my friend Dom here the other day and I'm such a big fan that we had Michael Stipe from REM came in the building a couple years ago, right? And he had a camera crew with him. And one of the cameramen was Lance Bangs. , Lace is the best. The legendary camera man from Jack Ashon froze up every time something disgusting happens. Yes. He fell down four times in this film You come up like drops the camera and everything. The first time was within five minutes of me arriving set on the first day. I ran over to film and some calamity happened. I don't know what happened, but it was a total accident . Well, I assume Lance very happy to hear that Lance will E fendature in this film. Do you get one last sick out of Lance ? Is there one last vomit for? Oh yeah, he got when like he fell down or puked four times in this movie, but in the most disgusting scene in the movie, which everyone was like, He's puking in this . It was like we took colonoscopy prep were they ponias and the guys took colonoscopy prep, like it's like a super laxative and played Twister . It was so gross the director left the set halfway through. It was Lance didn't puke in that. And wow, I don't know what happened. He might have enjoyed it, it turns out. Yeah. Johnny Knoxville would you please let you keep me one last time? Okay, you sure you don't want to put it on your What an honor. Thank you so much. Thank you. Chris Pods, Johnny Lotswick. Thank you. If you've never watched Accus in your life, start from the beginning and go and watch the film because it's going to be the best cinematic experience of your life. I promise. Yes. Johnny Lots. Thank you. Thank you everybody . You're listening to the Chris Moyle Show podcast Brand E O X I have to say , I completely get why as well. Scotland don't want England to do well at the World Cup. I like seeing Scotland do well. I know yes, me too. Not in a patronizing way, it's just genuinely they don't qualify for the World Cup very often. The scenes the other day were incredible. No Scotland no party. No Scotland no party . And one man who knows how to party and was spotted partying during the game the other day was Mr. Rod Stewart. He's in a bit of trouble with his fans because he cancelled a gig just forty minutes before he was due to go on stage but then less than a day later was spotted at the Scotland game enjoying himself. Yes . And so fans who had tickets are going, hang on . You weren't good enough to do your gig, but you weren't good enough to go to the Scotland game and enjoy a few beverages. That's it . And well, we asked if Rog Stewart was listening this morning and if he was to get in touch and you know, maybe explain himself or give us an up date. And I'm delighted to say that he has been in touch. Many times, many times . Now we're having a few technical issues behind the scenes, so wish me luck. Good luck everywhere. But hopefully we'll be about to hear from none other than Mr. Rod Stewart . Hello there, Toby. Rod Stewart here. Just how could update the health a lot better ? The twenty four hour bug is listed , but I will say this and forecast for more twenty four hour bugs when the Scotland play their next two matches and then qualifying going to win the World Cup . Cheers to be all the best rod . Wow, wow. Okay. Wow. So he reckons he's going to be ill at least two more times. Well, yeah, hopefully. Well, film getting more in a way. Yeah . Great to hear from you , Rod slash cookie monster. Oh yeah, there was a bit of that, definitely. It's laryngitis for you. Yeah, that's get ya . Want it? But then he obviously had lots to get off his chest because he's been in touch again actually. Yeah, here's Rod Stewart . Hello everyone. It's Rod Stewart . I've got Larry and Chias up to Scotland . If you love my body and you think I'm sexy cheese to me, that's it. That's it. I love the pause there when he's going nerd, don't need any more lyrics. Cheers, Toby. Flas Roger Stewart, I don't know if you've ever spoken to him, but he always just starts singing his song all on the phone. If it's not that, it's Maggie May. And yeah, there's always a there's always a song in there. Great to hear from Ray Widston there. I mean Rod Stewart. Yeah, I mean Rod Stewart . And then again, remarkably , for a guy like, Rod, you should be resting your voice. He's been on again. Stop sending all these words for us. Right, here we go . Oh , John , it's Rod Stewart here . I was really ill the other day while I was feeling bad just to tie for the Scotland gave So yeah Scotland . Lovely there we'd love you to hear from Uncle Albert How wasn't it? It's an absolute honor to have him on the show this morning. So there we go . Rod Stewart has explained himself live on radio X this morning and well get well soon. This is the Chris Moyle Show podcast . Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building. You're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners . Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog, HBA on its last leg, if you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Granger quality for products, easy reordering and twenty four seven support. Call one eight hundred granger, click Granger. com or just stop by. Granger, for the ones who get it done . Gray hold back for Chris Moyle Show This is the Chris Moyle Show podcast Bray O X . I walked into the studio this morning. Everyone's a bit blurry eyed after staying up late to watch the footballer and never get up at six o'clock this morning? Yeah, that's a fair comment, I think. But I walked in and Dominic Byrne was looking very smug. Ah, I was pumped. You were. You'd been in a scrap. I had. So we have what's known now as the studio fly , which I think has been here all week pretty much. Yeah . But I approached stealthily towards the other end of the studio and it landed on a like a light . So apparently morning everyone boy apparently you're meant to very slowly approach it and then if you want to stun it, let's say stun itned. Yeah, a speci listen . Yeah. Flick it. I did that, stunned it, it dropped the floor. I couldn't find it. So presumed okay, it's good to have a sleep now or it's dead. And then two seconds before the microphone microphones went on, yeah, it flew past my head. Yeah . Literally as the opening jingle was playing, I saw Dom getting animated and he was going, Oh, it's back. It's back again. So I don't know how we get rid of it. You shouldn't you should have known when you didn't find a corpse. Yeah, exactly. That you hadn't I think so. It's like in it's like the Halloween movies until you see Mike Myers is dead. That's right. Just assume he's going to come back. Yeah . Well, yeah, so at some point we'll see the fly again. It's very annoying. Okay, well, I've got the times here ready to go rolled up. Okay that's good. It's a heavyweight paper. What if you stay perfectly still , okay, and we put something on your head. Yeah. And like jam. What are they like? Yeah, let's put jam on your head and then and then I've got the paper here. Yeah . And then I'll just bonk you on ce on the head. Yes. And it will be a small price to pay. It will be a small price to pay. Absolutely. Every fun . We should name the fly . Yeah, what do you want to call him? Maybe name the fly after one of the England players who, you know, played last night. Who could call him Harry? Harry. Yeah. Harry the fly . Although if we do ultimately have to, you know , take Harry to the farm . Yeah , the fly farm in the sky. Yeah . It will be sadder now that we've given him a name. That's very true, actually. Yeah . But oh now produce a big size. It's called it Biffy Fly Roe. Oh, I love that. That is that is very good . The Flyo Saccer . That's not bad. Not bad if you want to go football routes. It's not bad at all. It's not bad at all. Best I've got at six hundred thirty four . I haven't got the of anything else. Arsen Winger . Oh . . Every morning at six hundred thirty , I've got the honor and the privilege of sitting for Chris Moyles and having this soap box, if you like . And I turn up, you should see my show plan notes. Yeah, I think right. Today, I'm going to discuss, you know, Wordsworth, Keats. Sure . Shape are. That's it. The Canterbury Tales. And then, you know , we're naming a fly. Yeah, we've got him with Buffleo Sack . Do you know what I'll park my Keats stuff? I would. I'd park it for now and we can always come back to it. We could put a pin in Keith Absolutely. And then we'll name the fly and then we'll come back to it. Deckl umice Flor.ry S the, that's Ian. Ian in London, I'm not taking credit for that. That's brilliant. It's lovely. Jake Bug. It's not bad. It's not bad at all . Techlum flice is nine. Isn't it's good, isn't it? This is like the radio version of that Breaking Bad episode, says Simon in Manchester. Yes, it is. It's a writer's strike. Yes. Fly Vantoni . It's good. Flying gigs or Erwing Har land, says Ricky and Kent. Nice work, Ricky. It's not bad. Ollie Swatskins Very good. Tell you what? That's good. I wrote down Wingo Star Yeah, which is Or Wing Charles III. Very good. What do you reckon? The fly Osaka or Decklan Flies? It's tough, isn't it? He's a tough one between the two, isn't it? Yeah . Fly habits has just come in. Yeah, you know, so we got to think about that. Where do you stop? Yep, Stevie Flyway on the wing. Very good . We're all gonna make an executive decision. That from now on the fly will be known as Decklam flies. Nice. I think that's for the best. Yeah. And the nodding from everyone in the studio suggests that we've made a great decision, maybe? A good work team The Chris Moyle Show The Chris Moyle Show podcast and our guest is rummaging around you know I'm like a little old lady on the bus to find my prescription drugs. Now, I'm trying to find sorry, it's Jenny Clair here . I'm already getting on everyone's mercury. You are absolutely not. It's an honour to have you here. Very kind. We don't keep many secrets from our listener. We like to break the listener. There is more than one. We like to break the fourth wall and Jenny, just ten seconds before we start the interview in. And what is this? LBC A wolf person ic Ferrari. Oh yeah. They're around the corner. They're around the corner He's lovely. Well, I used to have a show on LBC. It wasn't in this building, let me tell you that so long ago, somewhere in West London , and I was sacked many reasons, but one was because I accidentally swung a suitcase in a rage in a temper and it accidentally met the plate glass window at the front of the building and it shattered it. It just was one of those moments where you just stand back in horror and it goes in slow motion and every single bit of glass fell out of this anyway, they charged me for it. Did they? six hundred quids? No . Yeah. And then my contract wasn't renewed. Really? You can't blame them, can they? Also, six hundred criters well back in those days LVC, I mean, that's about five shows worth back then. Absolutely. Yeah. I just remember they were really mean for Christmas. They used to give all the presenters a tin equality street right from Sainsbury's Rennie supermarket that you fancy with a sticky label on it with your name on . I thought that looks good. It's so cheap . So you smashed a window . No , it was a long story, but it was all my fault. Right. Okay, well, I appreciate the honesty. Well, if you want to go and say hello to some of your old colleagues, they're probably still here . Well, it's absolutely lovely to have you with us this morning. Let's first of all talk about why you're here because you are taking part in the Mama Art Show, which is the many actors make Art Art Show . So can you explain what this is and what you've been doing for it? A Mama stands for many actors make Art , but they have opened the back door for comedians and other people who are in the biz in some respects. And it's just the most joyous occasion ally,'s there a lot of painting and artwork made by people who are in freelance situations, you know, actors waiting for the phone to ring, washed up comedians, etc , etc . And for me art and practicing making things since COVID, so obviously I was in an industry as a stand up where my entire career came to a grinding stop. Yeah , because all the theatre shut down so I was meant to be on tour it looked as genuinely nothing. Yeah. So I did a painting a day to stop myself going mad and it never stopped. I mean, we haven't eaten at our dining table now. I mean, I don't think anyone has a din ing table anymore, but you know, the kitchen table now for oh since Christmas day because that's where all my art stuff have a studio yet and I'm really messy and really nobody can tell where my work starts and finishes and where my grandson who's three where his work starts and rushes. It's all kind of what do you like to paint, Jenny Eclair? Well I'm very I'm a colourist , I'm a phovist, I'm an amateur, a deeply amateur painter, but I've sort of learnt to kind of embrace that and that is part of what I do. I do quite a sort small of interiors which are a mixture of paint and collage. I do bigger collages. I do at the moment I'm doing a series of very colourful robot heads. Oh sounds ridiculous and then I use there are a couple of three D pieces that are from Found Cardboard. One's called Pamela. One big eye . They are quite sound frightened . I think I dated her once. Oh yeah. Yeah, once Pamela. Pamela's great . And I use , you know, I started off when my grandson arrived , I started using toilet rolls and made him animals out of toilet rolls. And they were so good. When he came and played with them, I didn't like it. Right . He took them off. Hands off. He took them off and put them on a really high shelf. That's an exhibition. Yeah, yeah, it's an exhibit there. And it just makes me a better nicer person because I am objectionable a lot of times. As LBC would test it exactly. So we are doing a charity event called The Taverners Taskmaster's hosted by Alex Horne. I mean, he's just an extraordinary talent, isn't he? Isn't it? He's done with Taskmaster. It's really something. It's one of the happiest TV things I've ever done and I don't think I'm alone saying that. I think that for so many comics, I mean I couldn't watch it for years because I hadn't been invited on it and I was so jealous. Really? And it took fifteen series and it's made by my man agement track. Now that's got to be out, hasn't it? My emails to my agent were getting ruder and ruder with every announcement of the new cast. I was like , I think the end I can't swear, can I on this program? No. But the end one was just that. Yes . The last one storming towards her office of a suitcase. Yeah. Going, right? That's it. Get me on task, Master. Yeah, so I want to talk about your incredible career, which I sort of knew was incredible and then I read about it this morning and it's even more incredible than I realized . But one thing that you were, you started your career as a punk poet. Yeah. Now, what does a punk poet do, Jenny Clare? Well, I think the biggest influence back then was John Cooper Clark. Right, of course. So that really sums it all up. Yeah, Cooper Clark. And I've been a fan of John's, I can't believe he's still with us. I'm very bad he is. His biography is great. I used to keep kids quiet when I was doing the school run years ago, thirty odd years ago. I used to put John Cooper Clark tapes on And that's great . So yeah, I was I was a poet. I started off in Manchester. I'd been to drama school there , had an eating disorder. I was in a bit of a mess , ran away to London and just saw an advert in the st age. I mean, that's how you got work back then because there was no internet, there was no and you'd go off with a native Zed , tried to find venues in places you'd never heard of crying and then having a miserable gig trying to find your way home. Yeah . But it just I think that more than anything I have tenacity . Right. And I think a sheer bloody mind edness I haven't, you know, despite the best efforts of some people, I haven't given up . Yeah , yeah. Well, we're very glad that you didn't. And then the first woman to win the prestigious Perio Award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in nineteen ninety five. Yeah. That's pretty cool, isn't it? Yeah, and it was very much deserved as well . If I may say so myself. You know, I think that me on a good day, doing a good gig . I'm wonderful . I really am quite an extraordinary performer . I know that, but you know, also I have done some rubbish . Jenny Clan, thank you so much for coming to see us and please come back and see radiox or as you thought it was before we started LBC. Yeah, whatever you want to call it is Jenny's fine. It's the first time I'd been invited back at the time . Perfect. Well it',s lovely to have you here this morning. Ladies and gentlemen, Jenny Acclaire. Thanks very much. Thank you for the Chris Moyle Show. You're listening to the Chris Moyle Show podcast . Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Light's about to fail, filters ready to clog, HBA on its last leg , if you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering and twenty four seven support. Call one eight hundred granger, click Granger. com or just stop by , Granger, for the ones who get it done . Grey D O Back the Chris Moyle Show. You're listening to the Chris Moyle Show podcast . Grey O Now , the big news story over the past few days is that Elon Musk has become the first trillionaire . Who wants to be a trillionaire? It's so I was reading it and I was like, yeah, that sounds about right, you know, he's a rich guy . And then I was reading an article about how a trillion . It's insane. Now there'll be people listening that absolutely love Elon Musk, big fans of his. That's fair enough . I can't pretend to be the biggest fan of his. I just think it's a shame that of all the people to be the first trillion, like why couldn't it be Bob Mortimer? Yeah , he'd be such a good trillionaire. Imagine the mad things that Bob Mortimer would do with a trillion pounds But I was reading about it and I was like, So how much is a trillion? Yeah . So I'm going to put it in perspective in terms of time . Okay . Okay . So one million seconds ago about twelve days ago. Right. It was one million seconds. Okay, so that's about june third . All right. So I looked into it, what I did that day, I did my radio show, I went to cricket training, and I went bed to. Right. So that's a million seconds ago . And being a millionaire is really good, really good, right? Financially that must be very useful. Yeah. Okay, so then to put it in perspective, the gap between a million and a billion . Okay ? So one billion seconds ago. I'm going to write this down. Yes. So a million seconds ago is about twelve days ago. Okay, twelve days, one million seconds ago. Yes. So now the leap from a millionaire to a billionaire. Okay . A billion seconds ago is the mid nineteen nineties. Whoa, okay. So it's a big difference a million. So the mid nineteen nineties, so the rise of OSI , I mean, in that time, they've become the biggest band in the world, split up, not talked to each other for fifteen years , got back together , done an amazing comeback talk. Yeah. So that's a billion seconds . So that's how different a million twelve days ago, a billion is the mid nineteen nineties. Okay, okay. Are you ready for a trillion seconds? Reading what this one is actually. A trillion seconds and I had to triple check this because I didn't believe it. I read an article , I went and checked it now I was like, wow . So a billion is the mid nineteen nineties A trillion seconds ago is twenty nine thousand seven hundred BC That is a trillion . I said, you're gonna say like the eighteen hundreds or something. twenty nine thousand seven hundred BC . That's a trillion . Wow . So that's Neanderthals, that's Wooly Mammoth. Yeah, I think Keith Richards was a teenager . So yeah. twenty that's a trillion. twenty nine thousand seven hundred BC. That is amazing. Would you like to hear another statistic on what a trillion is wor th. If Jesus was born roughly two thousand and twenty six years ago , okay, and we're still alive today , to be a trillionaire , he would have had to have earned one point three five million pounds a day . Right since he was born to have a trillion pounds. Wow, that's amazing. It's actually ridiculous. That does hurt. Jesus would have had to earn haveed one point three five million pounds a day since the day he was born to the present day to be a trillionaire. Wow. I think the lesson here is that Jesus needs a new agent. Yeah, I think so. 'Cause he's sold loads of books. There's one of his books in every hotel room. He's doing very well. And he's nowhere near a trillion . He sold more than Jamie Oliver. That's bad. Exactly. Yeah. And still walking around in like a loincloth and sandals never shaves. Oh, Jamie Oliver, no. I always get Which one does a really nice rigatoni? Well, that's Jesus. I can never remember. I made a lovely Jesus recipe as today . Ah, that's blowing my mind all that. Yeah. So there you go. So a trillion pounds. Amazing. Elon Musk is the world's first ever trillionaire, sadly, not Bob Mortimer The Chris Moyle Show The Chris Moyle Show podcast . It is the moment that , well, Dom and I have been waiting for all morning. This is great. Because I'm very excited to say that we are joined by Chloe from Guide Dogs and eight month old guide dog puppy Dita as well. Good morning, Chloe from Guide Dogs. How are you? Hi, good morning. I'm good morning. How are you? Good. I'm very well Frank. Thanks for coming in. Very excited, I have to say. Dita is also very excited. Good. Hi. Good. Good,. good G,ood good. Now you work for guide dogs. I do. So what exactly do guide dogs do? So we train our puppies to help people with visual impairments and make their life as easy as poss ible. Lovely. So do you personally train up the dogs? So my department is puppy raising so I'm called a puppy development advisor . So my job is to train them from when they're eight weeks old until normally sort of fourteen to eighteen months old until they're ready to go into further training. I see. So you're a fascinating job by the way. What a business card that is, girl. What's a gig . We're in the wrong line of work Dom. How many puppies have you worked with? Quite a few now. I've got teeth three at the moment under me. Wow. So they all live with volunteers called puppy raisers. So they don't all live in my house, which is probably quite a good thing. Yes . And then I go to the puffy raisers and make sure they feel supported and give them all the training that they need to make conf happy dogs in different environments and then hopefully they make lovely guide dogs at the end . It must be so rewarding when you train up a guide dog and then you get to see them go to work later in life which is being incredible. Yeah, so they go in from puppy raising into training with a guide dog train er who builds on the skills that the puppy raisers and I have taught them and teach them how to guide. So at puppy raising it's a lot of sort of the basics, being calm in environments, being happy with different distractions , being confident , and yet it's a really lovely proud moment when they go in and then even more when they qualify. When you see a guide dog sort of in action, if you like, on the street and stuff, it's amazing to watch, isn't it? It really is. They're so much better than we are. Yeah , fasterly. We don't deserve dogs. No, we don't know. Definitely more of a dog person than a human person, but you guys love Quick Disclaimer from it. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Well, Dita's being very well behaved because well, he's hanging out in a radio studio which I imagine is his first time. Might you. Yours too. It was like, you're being very well behaved as well. Yeah . And Dominic Burns spilt a little tabasco sauce on the floor just before Deter came in, but he's given that a wide burr. Yeah, it's fine. I'd say Deter is best off, you know, for everyone's sake, best off not round this side, actually. Yes. And then after Deter's hung out here, he's going to meet Amanda Holden. So what a day he's having? Absolutely. He's thrilled with it. So quite happy about the chicken paste that I have here rewards for being nice and comfortable. Yes, that's good. When Dom does good radio, I give him chicken paste. Absolutely. I've not had any for ages. He's starving, aren't you? Starving. So we're going to get dita because it's the World Cup at the moment. Yeah. And the classic thing is to get animals to predict things basically. So as we've got Deta here, we figured we'd put Deter's psychic skills to the test. Right. So just to test whether Deter does have psychic abilities, which I have no doubts that he does , what they do when they pin your tie up to a lie detector machine is they do one question to sort of get some data. That's right. A control question, they call it, don't they? We need some detail data. So good. You've been working on that. Yeah, thank you very much. So the first question we're going to ask Dita is Are you a dog? Right, okay. And we've only put down one plate with the option. Yes, right. Just to make sure that Dita, you know, has got psychic abilities. Okay. So Chloe, if you could let Dita, you know, come round here and prove his incredible skills , there he goes . Okay . Okay, what's happening Toby? Yeah, yeah. Dita has confirmed, yes, he is a dog. He is a dog. Yeah, excellent one. That's one hour one. Right start. Okay, good start. Okay, the next question we've got. We're going to let Dee to make one of your life decisions, Dom. Yeah, I've heard this. Should you to work tomorrow wear A your usual clothes will be a panama hat and sunglasses for the entire Panama hat actually. Perfect. There's no shrinth. You can tell that Dita's trained because when the treats went down on the plate , Dita didn't go until Chloe allowed him to Yeah. If that was my bulldog colossus back in the day. Oh, he would have been all over it. There's no way I could have stopped him. Dee the plate. He would have done. So the treats are going down, Dita's looking very excited . So the options are A, Dom, you come to work tomorrow, wearing your usual clothes. Yeah, or B, a panama hat and sunglasses. So Chloe, please, if you can let Dita make a decision for Dom . Dom , thank you, Deetz. As usual, his usual Death and a pan of a hat and sunglasses . Yeah, thank you, Chloe. I can thank him so much. Just t shirt jeans and then pan of a hat and sunglasses, please. Thank you, Deta. Okay , what should Dominic Byrne have for breakfast? Is it a bacon and egg mac muffin or a dog treat? I didn't know there' thes option . Okay . All right, well the dog never lies, Dom . Okay This was scientific stuff. Dita, please come on Dita. Don't let me down, go, eh, please . Yes. Aw bacon and egg mate . Thank you, Dita. Oh, that's for the dog treat. Chloe, I see a pattern here. Yeah, a little theme . Okay . And finally , Dita, this is the big one . This is a lot hangs on this, Dita. We're going to have to ask you to pick a lane on this one . Will Oasis, as rumors suggest, play Nedworth next year . This is huge, Dita. Dita, there's there's a lot riding on this, no pressure. Is it yes or is it no? Oh no! That's a no that is well , look, Dita, Data Broken. Dita knows obviously a lot more than we do about the music industry. Apparently Well, Dita, I you were magnificent. Thank you, thank you. Chloe, you were magnificent. World. Chle,a youud were magnific ent. Also well done. Chloe, very quickly, guide dogs and the amazing work you do, where can people find out more about you and also how to become what sounds to me like the best gig ever, a puppy razor if they go online to our website which is guide dogs. org. UK, they can find roles that they can apply for in their area. Oh yes, yes. Exactly. Yes, as details go, yes, there is the website. Yes. Chloe, thank you so much for coming to chat us with. Thank you so much for bringing Dita to us as well. And thank you so much for the incredible work that you and guide dogs do as well. Thank you so much for having us. No worries. And enjoy Amanda Holden, Dita. Thank you and enjoy all your choices from Dita. Well you, thank Ish. So you're gonna be wearing a t shirt jeans, a panama hat and sunglasses, eating a bacon and egg muffin for a dog treating. Let's give it a go. This is the Chris Moyle Show podcast. Obex. I want to say happy birthday to the big three . Boris Johnson, McLmore and Paula Abdull , all celebrating their birthday today. Wonder what they're doing? Wonder where they're going This is why Star Signs are complete gibberish because what characteristics do Boris Johnson, McLimore and Paul or Abdull have in common? Yeah, okay. But Dominic Byrne, yes, I'm a scorpio. I am a scorpion. You're a scorpio as well. Absolutely. You're going to read our yeah, Star Sun. Am I right saying it's unlucky to read your own? Oh, I have no idea. But hang on, you can't believe in that if you don't believe in what I'm about to tell you. Yeah. I'm a very superstitious man . I'd love that So you got to stand on one leg when you read it. Yeah, otherwise otherwise the whole thing's nonvoided. Okay, so see if this resonates with you. Now I'm playing golf today so I'm hoping this will give me a bit of an insight into my round. But our round you're at Scorpio and you're playing golf today with me. Yeah, there we go, you ready? You may often find yourself giving friends brilliant relationship advice and can do so even more frequently in the months ahead. Wow. Ring any bells? That's complete rubbish. Okay, if you are looking to meet someone special , you may find yourself becoming more aware that for all your consideration , others may not be so open to tuning into your relationship situation. What on earth is that? It's just words on a page, I think and sorry and the stars told them this. Yeah, it ends with look to point your wisdom towards your own needs . What does that mean? That is someone's getting paid to write that. Yeah, yeah. That's a gig. Yeah. We're in the wrong line of work. I knew that this wasn't I'm kind of like you. I'm a horoscope skeptic. Yeah, horror sceptic. Yeah There was a local newspaper new seven he worked on and their first job as a work experience was just to make up the horoscopes for the world. There we go. There we go. That's exactly it. Any more star sign requests? Let's hear Jeff and I, Jem Gemini, I've got to go through Virgo , Gemini. Let's say Virgo. I don't care. The sun in Gemini forges a pivotal link to the powerful Chiron, don't know what that means, which then relocates to the most sheltered area for you personally for the next three months. Sorry, is the person that written this smelling toast? What is going on here? Friends who really understand the deeper side of your nature can really show up and be influential in the next three months. Everything's happening next week . I don't care about that three months. What's happening today? I'm tearing off half twelve. Ah, now this is good. You can enjoy getting into nature with them or going for spa days or retreats. Now, do you know what I like about that compared to the others? It's very specific. Very specific because what they normally do is just talk vaguely. Yeah. I wonder if they're sponsored by Champneys. Oh no they're not. That's good, but you never know, do you? Yeah. This is from the Metro, by the way, which is a esteemed newspaper in the London area. Yes. That's found on tube tube train seats. If you are into this, let's be honest, Hochm Is there like a is there a place that you should go and get your star sign every morning? Probably like is Metro a respected star sign? I don't know. I'm saying it probably is respected, but there may be more respected, like Star Sign Daily or something. I reckon the person that does the Star Signs in the Metro also does the tech yeah articles. Yeah, do you think that do you know what I mean? You couldn't do Stars this week. Ah, Steve. Can you do Stars ? Steve, you're so good at them. Jeff on sports on holiday, can you help me for ? Well , I hope that has helped people. That hasn't helped me at all. No . I've actually come out none the wiser right and more confused than I was before I went into it. Yeah. Well, if you're born on the nineteenth of june today, what stars sign are you? We probably should have done that one. Yeah, I can't. We probably should have read, you know, Boris Johnson, McLoore, and Paul, Abdul Star sign out. So you're gemini. Oh, gemini. Gemini, yeah. Perfect. So Boris Johnson, McMoor and Paul Abdull are going to the spa. Yeah. You're just in. It stops on the twenty first, then you become else. There we are. There we go. That's star signs tick, tick, tick, tick, that's done . The Chris Moyle Show podcast . When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there's no room for slowdowns. With Granger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts , and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place , so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call one eight hundred granger, click ranger. com or just stop byye , Granger for the ones who get it done . Gray D Opac, the Chris Moyle Show. The Chris Moyle Show podcast. Grey pEx making her radio X debut, I believe it is the one and only the brilliant comedian and ventriloquist, which I've learned is a really hard word to say. Nina Contius Hell Heollo Good morning, Nina, hello. Good morning. Very eventual quest. I've been struggling with for the last twenty four hours every time I've said you're coming on the show. I think you're holding on the quest too much. I linger on the quest. You're lingering on the quest. I have a tendency to do that do that . But is that a tricky word to say, ironically, when you're doing ventrilla quiz? Well, ventriloquizum. It's very easy. I just did it without moving man I was lying . I moved them. But no, it is a funny old word. It comes from ventry loqui entry is the stomach, loquires to speak and the history of ventriloquism is like dark and witchy and people used to pretend to speak to spirits in their stuff . That's where it comes from. Wow, which you know, it's only I've been on doing the shows. It's the fourth day this week and it's the first time anything remotely intelligent has been said. So thank you for immediately hiring the bar of the show now. It was very educational. you are returning to Edinburgh Festival fringe. How many times have you fringed? I've fringed twenty times. No , actually probably more , probably twenty three. Wow. I've been fringing all my life. Wow. I know. It's crazy. As someone who's never fringed, I myself have never fringed . What is it about the fringe that keeps you going back sort of year after year? How many times have we say fringe in this ten? Keep saying it, yeah. And the past tense fringe. The thing I franch most about was it's really fun seeing the other people on the fringe. Right who are , you know, like fantastic and funny and inspiring. So you go around and you see all these shows and they like they imbue you with whatever you need for the next year . And you feel held by your comedy community . That's nice. It's like a lovely, it's a lovely thing. So you're going from the seventeenth to the twenty fourth of August at the Underbellies McQueen Hall for seven shows. If you're off to the fringe, get a ticket and it is the Nina's Comte Cabaret and I'm going to say that very carefully on the radio. So carefully so good trick in there. What can we expect from Nina's Comte Cabaret . I'll be putting my masks on people making them talk. I have no script. It's all designed in the moment. And on stage, I chat to people. The ones I sort of like what the audience are drawn to, I get them up, I put a ventralic mask on them and then we just go into nonsense fast. I like respond to their body language and it gets kind of weird fast, but it's also liberating . It kind of gets a bit heavy. It's a craziness . man Aia enters the room and everybody's like laughing in a chaotic way. I'm assuming everybody listening will have seen the infamous masks , but if you haven't, Nina will strap these very comedic, the sort of spitting image masks the people's mouths . And then she has a little device that can make the mouths move so it looks like they're talking. And then doing her ventriloquism, she basically speaks on behalf of the member of the audience who's been dragged up reluctantly on stage. It's lovely. But it's a brilliant setup because now you've got an uncomfortable stranger in front of a room full of strangers with a funny looking mask on . So all look happy. They the mask looks happy. Yeah , it's always smiling. How long have you had the legendary monkey, the ventuquis? Puppet, dummy, puppet, dummy. Puppet. Go with puppet. Let's go with puppet. I met monkey in nineteen ninety six . Wow . But that was before I was a ventraloquist. It was just like this funny toy that a friend had . And then I started learning Ventraloquists and realized that that little monkey would be a lot more adorable than those creepy old ventricles mat. Yeah, yes, they were something eerie about those wasn't it? Yeah, it's very weird. Yeah, they're creepy, but I picked him up and thought, Oh, his mouth does move, it's not meant to more like a kind of soty guy. But his mouth just about moves and then that's like he looked at me and said hello and then it was just like, oh my god, that guy knows who I am. This is your future. Here' sos much trouble . Yeah, yeah. Say everything to everyone. So is that the original monkey from nineteen ninety six we're still using? I think that's monkey three now. Oh, really? Yeah, I was going say to otherwise the first monkey would have seen some things. Oh yeah, it might even be the fourth, I think. They last about six years before their mouths start to crack. If you got someone out there that makes an identical looking monkey to the last one? No, I hoovered them all up from eBay and wherever I could find them. They're just a woolworth's toy. Oh wow. It's not wow. Nina, whilst we've got you , Dominic Burnham is a very talented man and takes the most things like a duck to water. Right. Now I don't know if this is going to translate onto radio, but it will make me laugh if nothing else. Could you give Dom just, you know, a sort of ventriloquism one hundred and one lesson. Okay. What's your most useful sentence that you say on here? Useful sentence So at the end so I read the news on the show. Yeah, so at the end of every show, I would say from Global's newsroom for radio X i I'm Dominic Byrne. From Global's newsroom is that tricky is that okay. From you need use TH instead of the F rom Well, that was really bad what I did, but when you land on the M, you usually go M with your lips together . So you're using NG sound like in the middle of singing. I'm saying thong is throng throng what you're saying but if you say Frong yeah strong. Very good. You're very good . Globals, you've got to replace the B with the G so it's globals . Gloggles. They're good. From globals sound good. It might not be very entertaining, but his lips aren't moved. To me Throng Globe Strong Glogers . I don't know what you promised We've had a dog on the show this week. Right. This is gold. Yep. And that's at the end of the next news bulletin, if you could just do it, throw on Google movie. I got what about newsroom. How'd you do that? Newsroom. News is easy, news , news. Room is the R is easy, but the M is again, the um sound. So newsroom Newsroom. Are there certain the old cliche that there are certain letters you need to avoid ideally? Yeah, I mean, I try to swerve on bees, but it's not ideal you couldn't help it. You have to do them. There are six we've covered MT . What was it F? Yeah F P L the others are I can't remember M Franclobal Season. Yeah, there we go. Tom, just do it now. Here we go, ladies and gentlemen, just know at home that Dominic Byrne is not moving his mouth, and he's going to say From Global's newsroom, Franclov's situation. It's moving. Sorry, it's tricky though. How did you move your lips and sound so bad? Pick a lane, pick a lane. This is right in the is so excellent. I'm so crap . Well also, Dominic Burn won't be doing a vent quilaiz atzer the Edinburgh Fridge this year. I guarantee it. But keep an eye out because if he continues at this trajectory Nina Conti's Cavare, seventeenth for the fourteenth of August at Under Belly's McCughan Hall at Edinburgh Fringe near a conclusion This is the Chris Moyle Show podcast OK. You know one thing that this show lacks right? We don't know enough celebrity goss ip. Right, that's it. Because I'm pretty sure the research shows people love that. Now, Dom, have you been following the Katie Price and her husband Saga? No, not I'll be honest with you no, not really. Okay You well , I live my younger life vicariously through producer John. Right who normally looks after my show during the request hour. Yes. So it's Gemma Collins related or beautiful South related or neighbors TV show related. He's your man. He's a man. And so he turned to me a few weeks ago and said, have you been following this Katie Price story? And I went, I'm going to shock you here, John. No I haven't Not really. But he filled me in and then I was invested. Okay, right . So a few weeks back, Katie Pryce, who says she's married her latest husband, it's his turn now. Right, right. I was thinking married to Katie Pr ice, it's a bit like jury duty. Right. At some point, you know, you'll get a letter and it's your go. We hope they're happy. It's worth it. Yeah, many and congratulations to the happy couple. Yes. I think he won it in a cereal box . It just fell into his bowl. You are marrying Katie Pry . So just one day, she basically went on to social media and said, My husband's gone missing. Don't know where he's gone. Right . And then nobody knew where he was . And everyone was saying it was a publicity stunt. But she was going, No, seriously, I haven't seen him in a few days. Oh, is that some proper worrying? Then it got a bit of wishes. Yeah, and everyone was like, Oh, actually I feel bad for making jokes now because he's gone missing. Yeah. Then it all got very weird because he hadn't been on Instagram for days, but then he did pop up on Instagram or something and he followed somebody or something. I don't know. Right. Then eventually they found him and he had been arrested in Dubai . Not entirely sure what for? Right. But he'd been arrested in Dubai and he's been in prison over there. Well, he's now been released a few days ago. Oh, okay. And you'll be delighted here because I know you in particular were worried sick. I am worried sick. Yes . Katie Pryce and her husband have been reunited. Great news. Thank you . Just spread there is a God. They're just spreading a bit of good news, joy this morning on radioacts is what we're trying to do . Now, I am, well, delighted that they've been reunited. Are you? Well, I'll tell you for why , because in amongst all of this, at one point, and this really sums up the world we live in right now. If my partner had gone missing and been arrested in Dubai and I was worried sick , I wouldn't immediately think I must get in the recording studio and record a song . It would be a number one to do. Yeah, to do things. Exactly. Now, would you like to hear Kate? Has she done that since he's turned up? She no, she posted it whilst she still didn't know where he was. Right. She went, it's been a really stressful few days. I felt moved to get into the studio and laid out some track and laid out some track. Wow. Because you know, when your partner goes missing, the first thing I think is, you know, can we put a beat on this ? Have you heard this already? Yeah, I've played it on my show a few weeks ago. Okay , so are you ready to hear? But bear in my she's worried sick 'cause her husband's gone missing. Yeah. And you know, everyone come across and everyone grieves differently, sure, that they know some people cry, some people do this. The message of sending body body soul to soul always felt un So the words along to him here Wow. God, you can tell she's going through some stuff. Yeah, isn't she? That's it. Yeah, feral sound. Well, I, for one, am genuinely delighted that they've been reunited because I was worried if he went missing much longer, she'd do an album . Now , we need to tell John Kennedy what's going on with it because he needs to he needs to do that. John, there's new music under your nose and you're missing it. Get your act together, John Kennedy. Tom, I've got some good news for you. Oh no, I played you the wrong clip. What do you mean you're playing the wrong? So what's that clip you played? That I've realized as I played it is from a few years ago when