Legacy of the Flatwoods Incident

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We are of the Flatwoods Monster reeductx. Thrice deep now. Yeah. I'm excited. No, this is the penultimate, right? Well There's every reason to think there's only going to be one more So yes, by really D facto of penultimate. Okay. U but let's not let's not cut our chickens. like, what are you thinking and you think Yeah one more may two more So here here, you know, just without giving any spoilers, we do finally address the fucking elephant in the room, which is the Flatwood monster that went down in infamy. Okay. which we are beginning to realize is one of a few, if not a possible. Possibly yeah, totally. Yeah. But this was the legendary thing. So today we are really dealing with it. We had to we had to deal with like all the setup, all the UFO Incursions. Yeah. Now we're at the thing does not end with this incident not evenue to dig into. Yeah, like I'm shocked that it has been portrayed for so many decades as a single event when it really is one granite major portion of a flap that is utterly incredible. All right, man, well you know what? Without further ados, let's get started with on the night of september twelfth, nineteen fifty two Eyewitnesses claim to have had a run in with a being so bizarre, it not only left them in a state of shock but rocked Braxton County, West Virginia It's very core Though their encounter was brief, it set off a chain of events that would forever change this quintessentially quiet American town leaving generations both frightened and fascinated by the existence of what locals refer to as the Green monster. The old green monster Boston Yeah No ye, yep yes, indeed. Oh. I always forget about the term the green monster. and I love the Flatwoods. Yeah That's the sign Welcome to Flatwoods homeo Green M monster. Yeah exactly. totally. So that is still what a lot of locals refer to it as, even though it has become ubiquitously known as the Flatwoods monster outside of their And even I suppose within the city boundaries, people refer to it as the flywoods monster Um But of course some people, as we mentioned before, call the Braxton County monster because these things We're seeing throughout the county and Braxy for sure. Braxy might be My like in my heart favorite for this thing. Braxy's kind of cool, but it is the Platwoods monster now and forever for me. All right is it's nicknamey. It's huge. I know, but yeah, Nessy Braxy. Yeah, I know. I get it I know it's Troit a little bit big, youre right? It diminishes the inherent integrity and power. Why not look Steve? Steve. Dan I'm sorry, it's Daniel. Home of Dan. Just see a picture this a sick picture of the flat with the. I would love to go into any towel Wh who's that? Is is that a green monster? No, that's Dan. That's Dan Dan. one hundred percent what? Yeahu? What's wrong with you , when I get my next dog and I name her Linda There you go There it is. There it is my dog, Olinda. I like. She's just chilling. Im man. There it is. All right, man. well. You guys are up? Let's dig in. Okay Incorporated in nineteen oh two, the town of Flatwest West Virginia was in the midst of celebrating its golden Jubilee when a tsunami of high strangeness quite literally came crashing down upon the close knit community I don't have access to any archival itineraries. It seems likely that the town fathers intended to celebrate this auspicious anniversary in classic small town fashion parade, maybe a picnic, all punctuated with that most essential expression of American exceptionalism a ginormous fucking fireworks display. Yeah, dude And yet if that had been the plan It's likely those festitivities. That's right. That's what they're called now. Fivities. Festitivities. Yeah. We're two hundred and fifty years old dog festivities. It's on. Hell yeah. We're overshadowed or even canceled as by mid September, the skies above flatwoods were already ablaze with a fleet of massive flaming unidentified objects Objects that ignited shockwaves of Cold War dread and interplanetary horror all who witnessed them. Before we dive headlong into the most infamous incident in this incredible flap We must first address a proverbial blip on the radar unearthed by investigator Ivan T. Sanderson During the course of his inquiry in Braxton County, Sanderson interviewed local reporter JC Dean of the Braxton Democrat. who stated that on the eve of september eleventh, Just twenty four hours before the turbulence on the twelfth A pair of brothers refer to only as the James Bys to have seen, quote unquote, some kind of fireball crash into a knoll not far from their farm, a hill known locally and presumably in honor of the family who owned it as James Knobb And yeah I secretly delight and change. I mean, yeah. I mean, I want to get to a point in my life when I can name a hill. Yeah, you know? Yeah. Like what's that Dadill. Ted's Ted's No, Ted's No Dad Mount. Dad Dad M. Dad' Mound Desite the odd object's prodigious size and uncanny illumination, the boys claimed that they were unaware of its inherent value either economically or scientifically and therefore wasted no time searching for this cosmic booty There the account ends Be that as it may, during the panicky days that followed, it seems highly unlikely that the James Bys remained unaware of the alleged alien encounter in Flatwoods or the onslaught of flaming objects that preceded it Whatever else may have happened, it's difficult to believe that these revelations didn't at least prompt a cursory search of James Kobb for the wreckage or any other telltale signs of extraterrestrial intruders. The results of that search, if indeed there ever was one, remain unknown. But anyway, that's something I came across a little later on the eleventh. The only other thing that we know of before is the encounter that the little girl had in the wooded ridge a week before Yeah the twelfth on the fifth. where she saw something that was very flatwoods monstersque and ran away. Now we have at least a little blip of unless of course the James Boys were just looking to get in on the fun. Everyone else is getting like popular at the old soda shop or the general store and they're like, No we saw something the day before. We didn't look because, you know, we're cool. you know, whatever. Yeah. The James Boy, you see they over there saw media, you see? when they wentt go look with the media, what was that Pet Cemetery.initely That sounded nothing like Fred Gwinn in Pett Cemetery yet. fully embodied it for me. somehow your accent. Kind of felt like him. Yeah, a little bit. Oh my go God. Dad is better. Sometimes Pepperich Farm says Dad is better. Yeah. You a great Ppperidich Farm, Eed. You better a good baseball douncer from the fifties. Oh yeah, what you are little bit yeah. Just a little distortion on there. Yes. Yeahah, totally true. Coming on the base here, you see here you come. you take bab break He's got hot dogs andcotch in one hand, pllenty of women waiting for him. Oh my Godd, you nailing it. They probably did too. two hundred percent. I think you must have been in the past life. No one could do it that well. Well'll contact the psychic. Meanwhile, we arrive at the evening of september twelfth, nineteen fifty two actual fucking deal. It's nearing seven PM According to calendar twelve. com, the sun set precisely at seven thirteen PM. in West Virginia that evening So as dusk was beginning to swallow the last vestiges of daylight, Sheriff Robert Carr and Dputy Berneell Long were on the banks of the Elk River near Sugar Creek investigating Woodrow Eagles's report of a flaming aircraft that crashed. At the very same time, in a flap that ought to be the stuff of legend, scores of eyewitnesses in Flatwoods, Sutton, Frametown, the Wheeling, Ohio County Airport, and numerous other locations across West Virginia were watching a spectacular array of fiery UFO's scorch across the sky, making impossibly sharp turns before crashing and excuse me before crashing in some cases repeatedly only to get airborne again and fly away. Those are my favorite ones, man, I love it Absolutely In one terrifying instance, the observers were far too close for comfort as the crew and pass the crew of a passenger jet, excuse, claimed to have narrowly avoided a mid air collision with a fiery UAP that nearly clipped their wings Other UFO's, excuse me, eyewitnesses. I don't know why I read the word eyewitnesses as UFOs, reported that at least one of these orbicular objects came to an abrupt stop before executing a precision landing, It is case that we'll be exploring today.. So mid air collisions narrly avoided Dozens scores of people literally seeing these things all over plus. donon't forget like going towards Patterersson Oh yeidge overver the nation's capital. Like this is part and parcel of this much, much larger flamp that we dealt with in these earlier episodes. So now Finally We stand on the precipice of the notorious Flatwoods incident An event that began not with a sighting by a handful of kids, as is so often claimed, but with a man named JD Horde It's a name with a wonderfully villainous old Hollywood ring to it Perhaps a nasty gunslinger or a meaner than catpist Texas oil baron, yet it also conjures the image of a grizzled, no nonsense man of the Eth, which as it turns out, is exactly what JD. Hord was The elderly farmer lived and worked directly across from the Bailey Fisher Fm, near Flatwoods Elementary School, not far from the main thoroughfare that ran parallel to what is now Interstate seventy nine For excuse me, from this unassuming vantage point, Hord would receive a front row seat to one of the twentieth century's most extraordinary encounters, a site He became convinced Excuse me, that he became convinced hailed from beyond this world According to Sanderson, Horde was feeding his chickens at about seven PM when he spotted a brilliant fireball streaking across the darkening sky told the investigator, quote, It went over the Bailey Fisher cistern As it was about there, and at this point the witness pointed to a location roughly parallel with his house. A piece of fire broke off it as it neared the horizon toward the Sutton airport It exploded and went out B it, I'm assuming he means the piece that broke off, not the actual graft, even though it was a little Unsure This detail is intriguing because the primary eyewitness, whom' witnesses to this event, whom we'll be meeting in a moment, made no mention of this initial UAP shedding a chunk of exploding debris before continuing off toward the southwest That would seem to imply the presence of a second similarly fiery object that actually landed Though this appears to be the entirety of Hord's testimony, it's worth noting that some believe the farmer witnessed far more than he reported Where this assumption originates is unclear, perhaps from Sanderson's personal impressions. The timing of Hord's account leaves us three possibilities A There were two UAPs at the scene be that there was only one but horde, perhaps distracted by his chickens failed to see it land or Of course C, Hord for unknown reasons, simply lied Whatever the case, it had been an unseasonably warm late summer day when thirteen year old Edison Eddie May His twelve year old brother Freddy, Ten year old neighbor Tommy Hyer and two unnamed boys gathered for a game of sandlot football near the Flatwoods Elementary schoolchool playground They were about to call the next play when one of the boys noticed a massive Rddish orange fireball, which some later claimed resembled a flying silver dollar pass over a nearby mountain and streak across the dusky sky at an astonishingly low altitude. dropping what appeared to be flaming globules in its wake Gobules that may or may not have been the exploding Detritus that Hord described. Again, I don't know how many there are what or if you just looked down, assumed it flew to Sutton and it was what really landed That's all up for grabs. All these UAPs are fallen apartment flight. They've all been falled just like, yeah. I mean. I mean, they got exploded Yeah. Well, Fashino believed Frank Pashino, one of the main researchers, as we've talked about And all the episodes that they were engaged in dog fights and land. They met the Blue Angels. think about Right Th about. My theory was the meteor theories Yes. If you were caught in in meteor shower. S them. Then the bllue Angels did their thing. Why not both? And then yeah. we can all win. Yeah. Medi. There's ways to make everything be true. Absolutely. There you Hence the crypto apodces. Everything's true. Everything is possibly. Everything could possibly true or it's one hundred percent not true. As far as we know, this is fucking gospel. one hundred percent, you never know, man. And in my heart, I believe. This of my favorite cases and everything's possible. When you try. The boys dropped the football and immediately began shouting over one another. It's a meteor. No another yelled. It's a flying saucer The excitement was palpable as they abandoned their scrimmage and sprinted after the extraordinary object craning their necks in hopes of making out every possible detail. For teen scholar, Cole Harold writes, att first the object was heading south in their direction. The low flying object then changed direction, heading east as it passed over the playground, over the boys and over the road barely cleared the treets on the crest of a knoll located on a farm on the other side of the road The object then passed over a flat topped mountain located at the back of the farm. end quote. So that This portrays an interesting moment where This thing's flying and they're watching it and then it suddenly shifts direction and is coming right towards them and as was previously mentioned, an astonishingly low trajectory. So that must have definitely brought up the hackles Maybe it caused a few kids to slam themsel on the ground. But yeah, when when you see it and you're like, look, and then it comes at you it comes at you What did we do? And is it coming at them too because they were aware of it Because it always seems that UFOs are, you know, paranaturally aware of who's looking at them or at least very often. the egg the egg, the chicken, the whole damn thing ar egg. Yes, indeed All right The stunt booys braced themselves for what they were certain would be a catastrophic impact. Instead, they watched the glowing Ovoid execute a series of precise maneuvers before making what appeared to be a controlled landing beyond the wooded ridge adjacent to the Bailey Fisher farm Although the object avoided plowing directly into the hillside, its landing was nevertheless forceful enough to rattle nearby windows and inexplicably knock out radio reception in the area for nearly forty five minutes Or of course, maybe that was just part of their plan. No takeake out the communications. I mean, high tech radio. There you go Thrilled by what they'd witnessed, Eddie and Freddie May, followed by Tommy and a growing posse of curious neighborhood kids, raced to their depot street home to tell their mother, beautician Kathleen Kathy May the strange object that had come down As Luckw would have their cousin, seventeen year old national guardsman, Eugene Jean Lemmon, full name and nicknames. you're gonna get it all folks. Jean and Kathy, hanging out, having coffee talking shit. was visiting when the breathless boys burst through the door talking over one another as they tried to explain what they'd seen Intriguingly, Tommy hoped that the object might actually be a meteor despite its fucking maneuvers Because he'd heard such findes could be valuable His optimism was likely fueled by fourteen year old Neil Nunley, who had joined the group and ruminated that meteors were filled with gold and other valuable resources. What's the other resource? Pizza. Yeah. It's got to be pizza. Oh this has been predicting the six fucking pod. It's all coming out now. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. I mean they didn't want to like hit the nail on the head, but we know Yeah Pizza. mean pizza and gold. It's gonna be weird. When disclosure happens, they're like, there's only two things we're after. I'm like, I fucking know. Yeah. I know. Gold bars and delicious pizza. I mean, what else could you wantth? This is silver and broccoli. It's closose, but. Go to your local pizza Hut expxpress Ejoy Maybe that's why they're being established everywhere, Including our hometown. Oh yeah. Reent it's almost disclosure day. They made the big change overver. That's why they could just go through the drive through just get it. Yeah, they could. Becauseuse they have to smell in the basement and old pizza huts were not equipped for that. No, but they apparently the buffet is inside, so I don't know I mean, by fair, think' they're talking about like like Well, what it be? I mean, just saying that the the draft is fine, but you need to go inside with the Has ever had a drive through buuffet as far as like you have bu, but it's inside and like as opposed. Yeah. It's true Yeah. I got lost in my own sauce for No doub man. Yeah. It's all good You dug deep. I did. I went too deep, I did too much Here I am just rocked on Zinz and Celsius There it is. boy. liivving your best life.ust making it. guys you guys hear the buffet? This new thing. Just a white knuckle in it as Curiously, while the boys debated what they had witnessed, Neil's grandfather, Am Jordan, whom we met last episode, I think you guys might recall the name the grandfather. rightight after Peggy Kleiss smashed the glass and was Oflown too closely by the ship. Was across town contemplating the flaming UFO he'd watched descend from his own front porch Though exhausted and still wearing her work clothes, Kathy, described as a feisty thirty two year old single mother could see the genuine excitement in her children's faces and decided that she'd better see this for herself. She sounds like she's pretty cool. Yeah. she's spisty.inite. I once you describe someone as spisty, you know they're fun. That's the ant you want. hundred percent. Your spisty ants are the best ants.. Though exhausted and oh, I already said that part, the moment she stepped onto her front lawn, any lingering suspicion that the boys were playing a prank vanished Rising from behind the trees atop the Fisher farm was a purplish red light Pulsing steadily against the gathering darkness Strangely, amid those rhythmic pulses which some observers interpreted as fire The object would occasionally emit three brilliant strobe like flashes Whether they were a beacon, an electrical malfunction, or something else altogether is anyone's guess. the booyys' insistence that they'd seen something truly unidentified Kathy wondered if perhaps they'd actually witnessed a tragic airplane accident. If that were the case, she knew that the survivors would be in desperate need of help Wastting no time, Jean rushed back into the house, retrieved a pair of flashlights, and in the blink of an eye, an impromptu posse was assembled Kathy, Eddie and Freddie May Tommy Hyer, Neil Nunley, and two ten year old neighborhood boys, Ronnie Schaber and Teddy Neil, both of whom had also seen the strange object come down. The party was joined by a colleie whose name has Sadly been lost to history, but who will refer to as Oscar Oar O. Okay. The pup is named Oscar. Yeah. Spoiler alerts Yeah Yeah, listen, everything's going good so far. I know, I'm just saying people, you know, I get it. I get it. Yeah. the shit bums me out too. It might it might hey. You never know. Things changed. This is a redux bitch. newew information. Whoever know. Oh, I lived. I mean, I'm not gonna to say're not gonna to say. Oh man. You'll have to wait. Okay, I'm gonna be so sad. I know I mean no, I know. I'm just sendting you up for another fall or Gys. life's full of them. Though many accounts, including our first whack at this case claim that the dog belonged to Ge Lemon Reports indicate that it was the that excuse me, it was what the Mayboys called a community dog cared for and played with by nearly everyone in the neighborhood. Whatever itss pedigree or lack thereof, this lassy esque companion fully followed the gang of kids who had all but adopted it even when that loyalty led it into mortal danger. Maybe that's foreshadow Armed with a flashlight, Jean, who had a reputation for being fearless, handed the second torch to Kathy gathered his youthful expedition and led the party up the shadow shrouded hill toward the Fisher Farm The witnesses would later recall that Gean and Neil took the lead, which is the seventeen and fourteen year old Justificaseation'll remember, followed by Kathy and Eddie May Behind them came Freddie May Ronald Shaver and Teddy Neil while Tommy Hyer brought up the rear Although excuse me, according to some sources, a handful of other children, including an unidentified six year old boy tagged along initially but peeled away before the climb. evvidently too frightened to discover what lay behind the hypnotically pulsing light Yeah. headading over to this thing, man, that's the kind of balls you having all these kids with you, especially if you think it could be like an airplane crash. like I know. like what what are the ten year olds gonna exactly do? exxcept with a kind of carnage they're I mean was fifty two Yeah break fresh from a World War. I mean, kids wereitt gott to be proper. see this. It's literally just like disembodied pieces of headads and jet fuel. Yeah, gore. It's called Gown up. It's gore and trauma. Yeah. like a hundred percent. Yeah. No one thought like that in fifty two. No, And these kids are like, fuck it, we're gonna to do it. Yeah There's one therapist alone not working. Yeah. seriously. We got to do some about this. And it would be a while before their day came This was not it. Yeah It was now seven fifteen PM and the last traces of daylight had all but vanished As they climbed the steep incline, Kathy made their mission clear, quote Now boys We'll go and locate the site of where it landed and then we'll come back and call the law and have them investigate. I rarely called Yeah any authority Law enforcement especially the law. No I' never, but I't I love when I see it like on TV or. me too. Yeah. The law. It's time we call them in who The law. judge Is it a lawyer? I mean shheriff I O order covers all of it under shheriff, whoever's available. Deputy. Right. Yeah. There It could be volunteer fire department. if there's the only authority around they're dep They are the law if they're deputized Yeah in a firezone. There you go. Yeah the laaw of fire No one objected. That is none of the kids bititched about We're just going to see him go. It's a solid plan. attention rippling through its human companions, the neighborhood's quote unquote, big old dog. bounded happily alongside them, seemingly oblivious to their unease As they neared the base of the ridge, it suddenly bolted ahead, disappearing behind the shrub choked knnoll now bathed in a pulsating violet red light Moments later, they heard Oscar barking furiously cameame a sound that chilled every one of them Barking gave way to a sharp, shrill, frightened whine than silence Boys had never known the old collie to fear anything Jeanne and Neil immediately quickened their pace, hoping to rescue the animal from whatever it had stumbled across. Suddenly, Oscar burst back through the brush. His tail was tucked between his legs, his entire body trembled The group stopp dead Whatever their usually fearless companion had encountered had terrified him despite knowing full well that they were about to encounter it themselves They nevertheless pressed on toward the barbed woyire fence and rotting gate that marked the entrance to the Fisher property as well as their date with destiny. So that gate represents two things. One physically. Y One metaphorically. justust w to lay it out. Inase anyone's doubting my writing skills. This is my bam. This is my date with Dest. That shit's gonna get you fucking A's in eighth grade. one hundred percent. I J just want you to know. There you There can be little doubt The younger boys understood this had ceased to be an ad hoc adventure. If their resolve had faltered after seeing the Cali's terror The calm determination shown by Kathy, Jean, and Neil must have been infectious because they all continued to climb It should also be said, in deference to the extraordinary loyalty of dogs, that despite every instinct telling it to flee, the old collie meekly followed its humans toward whatever had frightened it only It loves its people. Dude, a dog's a goy, damn hero. Damn straight. There it is In his two thousand six article, The Flatwoods Mster inccident, The Night They were hereere, which we referenced a lot in the previous episodes. Frank Fasino picks up the account, quote By the time the group arrived at the farm, it was dusk They walked up the dirt path where a wooded area was on their left and a large gully and field was down on their right Mrs. May led the group with Eugene Lemmon and the remaining boys trarailing behind, and quote According to Cole Harold There had been no wagon or tractor in that area in years resulting in the grass growing to several feet high He added From where they were positioned, they could see a three foot bank upon which an old oak tree sat to the left of them. This tree was absolutely massive, with the first branch being some thirteen feet up That's important because that's some geography we're going to be dealing with in a moment The search party paid little attention to the neglected pasture The moment they reached the crest of the hill, their attention was seized by what they later described as a huge circular quote. faintly glowing mass of red coals, unquote According to IMT Sanderson, they estimated to be roughly the size of a two story barn rested near the gully in the meadow about fifty feet to their right So a two story barn pile of fucking mgment just thbbing coals, black and reddish purple Fucking something Yeah Okay, fucking crazy. It's a lot, indeed. Very bit. The mammoth orb was bizarre for many reasons, not the least because it looked less like a crashed aircraft of or excuse me, even a product of intergalactic technology, and more like a strobing self illuminated pile of semi molten rocks somethingomething Neil would later describe as just like a ball, a fire. Appearing on the Long John Nebble Show in nineteen sixty six, great episode. I think you could still find it on YouTube. I listen to it not that long Sanderson would say that the glowing object, quote, had the blunt side down, giving it more of a rounded pointed. and that it seemed to be, quote, flashing in certain intervals as opposed to glowing a solid color. end quote In short Instead of a spaceship, it appeared to be a gargantuan pulsing, semi molten egg shaped hunk of non aerodynamic weird Not a fucking classic flying saucer, definitely not a plane. Now what you're expecting No. Not what you're fucking expecting. No. But why should it be You don't need to be aerodynamic in the vacuum of space. maybe this interdimensional This is the form that it takes when it lands. Or yeah, maybe. You can't rule anything out. Jean and Neil hurried toward a second dilapidated wooden gate separating them from the field where the object had come to rest They noted in C's W in Cole's words, excuse me While, the area in general was warmer than it should have been It was not the scorching temperature or heat that one that would excuse me emanate from a massive burning object, unquote We all prefer things a certain way, like groceries If you want groceries just how you like them, you gotta try Instacart They have a new preference picker that lets you pick how ripe or unripe you want your bananas Shoppers can see your preferences up front, helping guide their choices. Because when it comes to groceries, the details matter Instaart, G groceries just how you like Curious though they were, the older boys, especially the nationally gu nationally introduced Christ, National guuard trained gene remained cautious Should they approach the thrbbing Ovoid or hold their ground As they debated, Kathy and the others caught up It's worth noting, here's a divergent story from what we're telling right now That some newspaper reports claimed that while the kids could clearly see the pulsing mass of UFO in the field, neither Jean nor Kathy were able to make it out. This throws a John Holmes Caliber monkey dick in the works, but if true, it might imply that as in the case of the Casab Blanca entities there was some kind of mesmerizing field effect that prevented adults from seeing what was going on course would require much more research to suss out Most of the accounts, I think say that everyone saw the UFO. if they didn't Maybe it's something like that where the kids can see the adults cannot Whatever the case, the group was so captivated by the gigantic glowing orb that none noticed the low hanging smokey vapor drifting around their ankles, like a sticky, almost sentient fog Kathy, like the boys, remained focused on the object until the inky haze had crept halfway up her legs In an interview with Bob Teetates, Pedigree Unknown, I have no idea who Bob Teetets is. They just had an interview with her Kathy recalled I'm thinking it's getting awfully misty, you know kindind of like a warm mist It looked like it was getting kind of foggy I remember turning around and looking back towards town to see if the street lamps had come on yet Qote Only then did she realize the mist carried with it a quote metallic smell which burned our eyes and noses Within seconds, the entire party was overwhelmed by the eye watering, nauseating odor of the undulating vapor, which they compared to a mixture of sulfur and burning metal The collie standing closest to this noxious rotten egg miasma began to wtch Then, without warning The silence around them was shattered From within the glowing object came a deep r rhythmic Basing, base thump by a shrill, high pitched hiss that swelled into a roar reminiscent of a jet engine you get the deep bass like hip hop in the nineties coming closer and we got their their tweeters and woofers, whatever fucking kids did back then. theirir trunk rattling. So you heard them a mile before they came. didnid't know the music. you just heard the doom. Yeahom So you've got that foollowed by hyd hydraulic. Hydraulic hisiss, followed by the roar of a jet engine, which is all discomforting noises. Yeah, this is it's awful. Yeah It's d. Do not want to hear this all of cacophony of chaos coming at you. Ieed Yes The witnesses understandably weren't having it either They froke Were they hearing the object preparing to take off a hatch opening Powering up of something even worse As if everything they'd experienced thus far weren't strange enough It was at this precise moment that the entire affair took a hard turn from bizarre into the realm of the bat shit crazy According to Neil Nunley's testimony to Gray Barker, it was the valiant old collie who had remained with its peck despite knowing there was danger on that ridge that first sensed this latest escalation into ultra high strangeness It began with a sharp hissp from somewhere behind them Oscar wheeled around instantly, lips curled back in a low rumbling snarl It would it would be one of the boys at the back, probably Tommy, assuming he stayed at the back I first noticed Oscar's sudden reaction He spun around toward the huge old oak, its lowest h again, hanging some thirteen feet above the ground Only this time, the space between that branch and the earth was no longer empty In fact, it harbored something Colly bared its teeth and let out a deep guttal growl that seemed to rumble up from its core The hair on its back stood on end as the boy beside it uttered some desperate terrified sound that finally tore the attention of the hacking companion his hacking companions away from the glowing orb and the offensive odor. because at this point, they're staring at this huge UFO coughing up a fucking shit storm eyes watering The two sounds finally make them divert their attention. fucking what's going on? Yeah Turn toward the gnarled old Oak, standing roughly four feet off the dirt path and less than fifteen feet behind them. It was then They saw them pair of large, round, unblinking eyes staring down Being country boys, well acquainted with the local wildlife, their first assumption was probably that they were looking at the eyeshine of a deer or a climbing raccoon. But that explanation crumbled the instant Kathy and Jean swung their flashlights toward the apparition, revealing something unlike anything ever reported The moment the beams struck it The hovering figure suddenly, quote unquote, lit up like a Christmas tree The shock this group experienced is difficult to overstate It's one thing to watch a burning object descend from the sky and joke about flying saucers. It's quite another to find yourself staring at its colossal occupant. There it was and living color Blood red and green point that we need to fully describe this legendary entity, which we avoid well I the previous eyewitness is like Becky in the woods only saw it for a brief second. R. This is the first truly good book and that's why we're getting this entity's description now Unlike the many artistic interpretations that portray the Flatwoods mononster as a towering taled, witch like figure draped in flowing robes Being reportedly encountered on september twelfth was far more mechanical in appearance point where it may have been less of a being and more of a vehicle Pin in that for second. Okay Here I'm going to rely primarily on the work of both Frank Fasino and Cole Harold to flesh out this floating fiend According to Cole, the Flatwoods mononster was, quote,anesque in form about four feet wide and twelve feet tall with a noticeable head and body, but no legs The creature had a bright red face, a body bright green in color, though some sources state that the body was actually aluminum colored and that the green was a reflection from the flashlight and the nearby foliage, while others state that green light actually emanated from within an aluminum body So take that as you will. And surrounding its head was a Ace of Spades cowl that was so naturally red or reflecting red light from the creature's head. E quote So naturally read. That was also naturally read. I'm sorry, I read that wrong. I' reflecting from the prere. I'm like, what' the pug? What sentence is that? Dude naturally read, dude Poull continued. While most of the witnesses agreed on these descriptions, others could not agree on certain features, most importantly, the creature's arms and lower body The creature's arms were described as being claw like, but The younger mace specifically would describe them less like arms and more like probes Je Lemmon would draw a depiction of the creature with almost fleshy arms and Kathleen May while viewing the creature as more of Ecuse me, well, viewing the creature as more monster than machine would describe it as having clawed appendages that she later would describe as being T. Yeah, sometometimes it's shown as having these weir like sticks for arms. Yeah like little claws on them. Sometimes they have little claws S sometimes they're like little antennae things that just shoot out the sides like Or they have like regular justraight up arms or just straight up fucking arms Yeah And that is indicative of the three eyeewitness or threeree of the eyewitnesses description of the thing. Two completely different things. Sure. but again in the hype of the moment that you the hacking twelve foot fucking tall floating. someome things are about to get You're lost in translation. Totally understand Kathleen would describe the entity's lower portion as being reminiscent of hanging drapes made from metal pleats Eddie and Freddie elaborated describing the pleats as metal panels separated by metallic tubes that they speculated were, according to Cole, some sort of propulsion system which was described as appearing like corrugated metal roofing in appearance end quote. It should also be noted that some observers believed the nauseating sulfuric mist was venting from the green monster's skirt like lower section. Eddie and Freddie would further explain that the beinging's lower half resembled the B two rocket Long, cyindrical and sleek though more flared at the base In later interviews, they emphasized that, quote, whatever this thing was, it was not a living creature, but some sort of sentinel or machine or it was wearing some sort of suit. So it's interesting. I mean, here we go. We go everything from like doolx. Doolx is always when I p in my brain because that's sure. That's L something inside of Yeah necessary environmental armor That happens to also be a fucking super floating tank. Yeah per Or it's like it's it's like weaponry like it's what sure, you know, when it's whatever this thing uses to Tverse outside like it could be a small thing and that's literally a tank and it's driving it like a vehicle, but it's protected from the outside Or it's like like a biohazard suit or whatever Or it's a genuine fucking robot or it's a cybernetic thing that's something in between. Right? Yeah. I mean There L lots of explanations forone or something like that. R Noted journalist and radio host Frank Edwards, described the entity in his classic nineteen fifty nine book Stranger Th Science writing, Whatever it was, it was alive And it was a giant by human standards. The flashlight showed the head and shoulders of a creature slightly less than ten feet tall It appeared to be wearing a helmet of some sort projecting from a dark blue green or greenish gray body which reflected the flashlight beams like rubberized silk. Not sure what rubber eye silk is, though, I feel like I can see it in my head even though I don't really know. Yeah, I don't. Not sure where he got his description, but seeing as it's like second your third hand I'm going to go with the eyewitnesses. Okay, but're just we're just painting the fullest picture we can at this point. It my favorite kind of This is where it gets really interesting Decades later, Kathy May introduced her son Freddy to Frank Fishino From the now adult eyeewitness, Fishina was able to extract what may be the most detailed description of the Flatwoods monster ever recorded. On one occasion, I sat down with Freddie for hours and with his help worked up a police style witness drawing of The Monster After talking with Freddie, it became clear to me that what had been referred to as a monster was actually a metal shelled body that was mechanical in nature and resembled either a small rocket ship or some kind of vehicular type of spacesit that acted as a probe The body was actually a metal shell that was aluminum in color. It was about nine feet in length from the shoulder area to the bottom and flared out. So adding three feet for the head that still makes it twelve feet This it gets really interesting because there's something pointed out here that was a longtime Flywoods fan I hadd never heard before The top shoulder area was about three feet across and four feet wide at the bottom It was topped by a large Ace of spades shaped helmet that was three feet high and sat on the upper plane of the shoulder area so far Ten The front of this large helmet was covered by a clear flat glass looking window pane that I'd never heard before. No What was said to be the head was actually red in color and red in color, was actually an inner helmet that was enclosed in a larger helmet So based on Freddy's description to almost years later Glass pane never. It's always like a weird like r Strange meets Ace of Sp.. Yeah,'s deal. Yeahah. And then just some weird head. So it's a helmet with a helmet according to interestnteresting. What this eyewitness claim to have seen Which I find fascinating that glass paine never once H I encountered that in all my years And helmet inside of that? Yeah, whichich I always kind of assume because it's round, it's red, it's got like two eyes. Yeah that would or illuminated. I'm like O yeet, maybe that could be an alien glowing eyes and a perfectly round head who knows how everything's going to evolve, But that also seems rather like an artificial like a helm, like something that it's right. Just created to protect a head. It's like wearing armor or something Exactly, Exactly Interesting. So I was really fascinated by that He continued. The so called arms and claws were actually antennae protruding from the plane of the shoulders on both sides, so that means like out rightight from the shoulders, not going forward as is often drawn. Pleats of the dress that hung in great folds from the waist area to the bottom of the lower torso were actually thick metal pipes which he also described earlier as being as wide as his arm when he was a boy, still. so Boyys arm whatever that is, whatever universal unit of measurement that is. Yeah, just like, I don't know, two and a half inches or something Yeah know seems like. These vertical pipes were spaced around the lower shell of the torso about five feet long. were the equivalent to exhaust pipes and emitted the gaseous odor that the witnesses smelled. These exhaust pipes were likely part of a propulsion system that lifted the figure above the ground and gave it the capability to hover Finally He adds The aluminum colored body actually reflected the green color of the wooded environment around it when it lit up hence the nickname of the green monster. So even though we've been discussing this for a while, and it's always it's like it's red and green. It's the Christmas creature. It's a lot of things It's suggesting that maybe it had a redhe or helm within The Eter of Speeds helmet that its body was aluminum and just highly reflected. The hard part about that is you put two flashlights on highly polished aluminum You're gonna get like bright white silvery Yeah back Yeah. I don't necessarily And for that to like it's like a fucking mirror Or I mean Green red esn't really make sense. likeike where where's it in this sp? Eespecially if the light the red makes no sense. light supposed to be coming from it. Dude Yeah. you're right. So like how do if it's a green light from it's entner Well, that's the thing I see right now what we're doing is We're weighing a bunch of different eyewitness tests. If it's camouflaged terrible It's not camouflage. Cflag is terrible. It is terrible. Yeah.. thinks it's hiding grey be. I mean, then again, if it is reflecting the green and like the red light is just what's giving it the ability to reflect it, but that doesn't And some of the accounts were saying it has an aluminum body with green. it has green coming from the inside then maybe that would also on the aluminum outside creating the illusion of green, or maybe the newspaper reporters of the timimes like green and red S selles papers, aluminum, they're gonna just think it's a fucking contraption. Yeah. It's not a bumper. it's an alien. Yeah That's me. We'll time your reporter Yeah. Yeah that's Yeah this you'll know I'm not sure if the phhysics of that is Yeah it had to be a really super shiny surface to like reflect like that. And also flashlights and people wouldn't it be reflecting The images of the people and the light. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't necessarily pick up the green. I mean, yeah, it's just not I don't know, I don't know if I mean, if flight is coming from everywhere from it where you are you going to see a reflection? Right Yeah. you like you're gonna see light and even if it's here on the lights And it would make more sense too. because behind them was this pulsing two story reddish violet object If anything iss gonna to reflect off even mom minum, it would be that. Yeah So anyway, okay. J just putting lots of pins the fuck know. Fair fair point. Yeah to september twelfth. Now we're going away from all these different descriptions turned around, they've been hacking. They've got that fucking weird mist that's making them smells like you know rotten eggs and garbage. turnurn around. They see this thing, the flashlights are on it Now we're back in that specific moment descriptions are what they are Back on september twelfth, around seven twenty five PM, which is the time that is approximately a lapse since they decideed to walk up there. Fishino claimed quote, The creature seemed to glow internally from its body And some of the witnesses noticed that the creature's eyes, which were a foot apart and green to yellow in color, released a series of blue Beams These blue lights were comparable to a flashlight beam and while seemingly aimed in the direction of the witnesses, was not focused on them specifically, but appeared to be looking above as if it were searching the horizon end quote Other sources claim that those pale blue beams fluctuated between blue, orange, and green. One can't help but wonder whether the oscillation suggests the things's mechanically augmented eyes were surveying both their surroundings and the entities trespassing within them across multiple spectrums using infrared, radar, acoustic, magnetic, electro optical, and perhaps other sensors beyond our understandings. Again, I don't know if the color change means any of that but you can't help but wonder. Okay. The eyewitnesses absorbed all of this in a matter of seconds They stood frozen and stunned silence except for Kathy, who gasped in horror Perhaps it was the sound that alarmed the towering visitor or Maybe it was the expression on her face that triggered some ingrained defensive protocol Whatever the case, the instant Kathy gasped, the looming figure lunched forward tored her with a shrill, hydraulic hiss before suddenly spraying the group with a sticky this oily substance expelled from somewhere within its metallic frame Cole elaborated, quote A strange oily substance was expelled, which landed on the clothose of Mrs. May and the faces of her sons. And I'm not mature enough to elaborate. Dude, that almost could I mean, if it is making like hydraulic noises, I wonder if it does like hydulic fluid. I mean, you know, or like whatever an equivalent of smoke that seems to be actual mechanical Yeah. And again, almost smelling like exhaust. Yeah. Yeah like awful shit. So is it exhaust, which is a great thing or is it like I'm going to speculate in a minute like like a defensive property, like a non lethal defense like like a skunk's As like get the fuck away. Right. but don't get killed. But you're right. All of this really seems to be It's inability to avoid fighter jets to the fact that they were crashing and exploding all over the easastern seaboard. to the fact that this thing seems to be a hissing, popping exhaust fume filled object. maybe a government experiment a weird fucking bios suit that has, you know, an Air Force pilot in there But it looks like a super I don't meanper tall alien robot. E the even if this is extraterrestrial, I mean, it just could just be damaged really damagage J right now. I mean, and honestly Most of none of almost none of this gives biological Oh no in any way shape or formce of one guy going it was alive. like Frank Edwards. God bless.. Whatever it was, it was live. Nice. Have you dealt with living things, sir?ave you been to a zoo? Do you understand organic? I mean, I love his work, Do me wrong, but Jesus Christ. All right. yeah O The Sunday, september fourteenth, nineteen fifty two article appearing in the Charleston Daily Mail, Kathy described the moment We got close enough to it so I could see exactly what it was I was as close as the length of a small car. I was close enough that it squirted oil all over my uniform. and quote Was this unidentified false smelling substance a defensive adaptation, something akin to a skunk's scent glandans, like I told you already discussed this, orr was it simply an unavoidable byproduct of whatever propulsion system kept the entity aloft The answer is We don't know What we do know is that this unexpected discharge was immediately followed by another even more intense sulfurous Guess em mission. The hovering figure drifted to left and back again in strange loops and sweeping arcs, seemingly trying to work its way around the assembled humans and back toward its pulsating craft. In doing so, however, it came closer and closer to Kathy and the boys. And with Oscar struggling against the second burst of fiendish flatulence, he was in no position to defend his past. Jean described the gas attack saying it was sickening, irritating to the throat and nasal passages. It seemed to grip you in the throat and suffocate you. end quote. Suddenly, Gene stumbled backward, dropping his flashlight before crashing to the ground with a shout Though some accounts claim that he fainted, it seems more likely that his close proximity to the toxic vapor temporarily rendered him unconscious. And after all the scares, the smells, And of course the squirtingir. Seeing their de facto leader collapse was the final straw Posse broke into a blind panic Kathy, Eddie, Ronnie Tommy and Teddy staggered backward, kicking up clouds of dust before turning and sprinting down the hill To their eternal credit, Neil and Freddie adopted a no man left behind policy, scooping up Eugene and hauling their semi conscious companion down the knoll. No doubt terrified that the Gargantuan entity might be right behind them Tommy would later tell Sanderson that he had to crawl under the fence to escape while the terrified Kathleen May performed a feat worthy of an Olympian, clearing the same four foot gate with a single bound and nearly two feet to spare. So that's what Far'll give you. some adrenaline. By the time they tumbled down the Fisher farm The once enthusiastic search party collapsed in a heap at the bottom of the hill As they struggled toward their respective homes, most of them became violently ill and began vomiting Kathy feared that they may have been exposed to something dreadful Perhaps even lethal Maybe it was radiation, perhaps a toxic chemical discharge, a contagion from another world or a poison beyond human understanding. Whatever the cause, those fears were only intensified as the group began exhibiting additional symptoms. skin rashes, swollen throats, inflamed eyes, and painfully irritated nasal passages that lingered for weeks. Kathy prayed that her children and the other boys would suffer no permanent harm from their all too close encounter Gene would later report that even weeks after the incident, he was unable to drink carbonated beverages because they irritated his still sensitive throat. His more severe reaction may well have resulted from collapsing within the green monster's toxic miasma, exposing him to a far higher concentration of the gas And tragically, he was not the only one to suffer from being too close to the ground Though Grape Barker and a handful of others wrote that Oscar tucked his tail between his legs and fled the scene Most accounts maintain that the faithful Cali who stood by his humans through thick and thin comeed not long afterward to the respiratory injuries he sustained on the Fisher Fm Bully. Other reports claim that he survived the ordeal and was effectively adopted by the Mayborys One can hope that the latter account is the accurate one. I mean, you'd think you'd be able to suss that out. like, hey, did you guys keep the dog or was it unfortunately a casualty of this fuck. So some newspaper accounts say that the dog was still around a little bit after and playing with the boys It mean that it only died like it died a week later and it was there for a few days. R Others indicate that it definitely died. Grey Barker is one of them. Like he fucking died. there's no doubt about it Depends on who you talk to, now here's the other thing Apparently other wildlife. was suffering some harm during the course of this. and we might be touched I'm pretty sure we'll be touching on in the episode Obviously, we're going to be hum centr, but we might deal with mean it makes sense if this thing this is how it affects humans. Yeah anythingything in the area anythingything in the area' going to be getting just messed up from this. So there there are indications that whether or not Oscar sucbed other dogs in the area may have died. Oh wow. And so when you're getting reports Yeah, it maybe like, oh, these dogs died. Oh this dog died. and then you know. Yeah. it just gets confused you're a reporter and you' got a deadline and you're working out quick and this is like a silly season thing. You're not taking it seriously. This is not somethinghing that's going to make her break her career Yeah which like all the dog died. Considering the effects that everyone has from being around this like that's kind of that's like super serious. It's very serious. Like the hell one hundred percent. the hell, the hell For the rest of that extraordinary night, and likely for weeks afterwards, everyone who climbed the hill to confront the unknown was almost certainly burdened by a gnawing anxiety their stomachs They had come face to face with the unthinkable, and despite an array of alarming respiratory ailments had lived to tell the tale They had seen it And more disturbingly It had seen them After the crashes and UFO landings reported throughout the area, who knew what might come next? Some of the boys would suffer nightmares for years. Others carried a deep rooted sense of unease born from the realization that we are not only not alone Despite our arrogance, we may not be anywhere near the top of the food chain The ripple spread far beyond Braxton County. Newspapers around the world seized upon this astonishing account, thrilling readers while slowly transforming this terrifying unknown visitor into perhaps the most recognizable mascot Flying saaucer era The Flatwoods monster The consequences closer to home were less romantic Almost overnight, the green monster became woven into the DNA of Braxton County, bringing with it a fame the community never saw And an influx of curiosity seekers, it was utterly unequipped to accommodate And while children became afraid to walk alone after dark and adults searched the skies wondering whether the UFO onslaught of september twelfth had merely been the prologue to something far worse The strange events in and around Flatwoods were far from over In fact only just beginning. But that, my dear friends is a story thats saved. for next week. Flatwoods Monster reds part three Eer the green monster. You can see why this stole the spotlight. Oh ye I'm like's because say the event. I mean, one one hundred percent And yeah, digging more into the description of this is kind of funny how like the whether it's different arts or whatever, how they interpret Woods more like in an organic sense as opposed to like, no, this thing was one hundred percent like metal. one hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, I've drawn it at least half a dozen times each time it's different. Yeah. no every interpretation that you look at it' I've seen a couple of them where they kind of little more detail on the skirt area though. But it's interesting. It does sound like like whatever this thing was like between exhaust and damage You know, again, unless it is like a defense mechanism that it has, but You're right, It really seems worth probing the idea that it was damaged or that it comes from culture that hasn't necessarily excelled that much beyond the human race Be that's the one thing we never really deal with. Most of the things that visit, whether or not you you know, whatever the NHI's origins may be, whether you're subscribe to the extraterrestrial hypothesis, the interdimensional or fucking mystical, whatever the fuck it is. They're so far above us and their technology is like, made of seamlessly molded craft that are buuilt on an atomic level to do exactly what they're supposed to do and not fabricated it and bolted and ribted together and all that bullshit You never really hear about the ones that are just like hundred years ahead of us. Right that have figured a bunch of shit out, but it's still like mechanical in nature. But it's still mechanical. It can still fuck up. It can still shoot it down. It's still susceptible to fucking electricity. It's atomic level construction with this thing. It's a little fancier than usual. You might have, I mean, science develops at different paces you know, we walked on the moon before A lot of things that you think would have been much simpler were achieved So The scientists in their realm might have hacked like crossing interdimensional barriers Their material science and you know their craft and their armor suits and whatever might not have been nearly as advanced. They just you cobble it together. They say like in the early solar warden, again, I'm just pissing in the wind here, When they were doing experiments, they hacked gravity. They figured it out Scientists figured it out, and of course, we're definitely put under lock and key F firstirst thing they send into space was not like a super craft. It was an airtight submarine. was designed to withstand tremendous pressures becausecause They had an advanced spaceship building technology. right. They advanced Fing gravity And along those lines, we might be dealing with a certain kind of limitation in technology here. So in solar ward, which if you know the early days. if you don't know the solar Warden is look it up. Theyre just like, all right, you know, we need to get like R October Yeah just send it. there you go. We've beaten gravity. We gott to put some in space and see if it lasts. And what is designed to have oxygen and keep people alive pressure you know in a high pressurized environment? Not the space is necessarily high pressured, but that You need something like airtightight solid against like meteors and whatever else might be bouncing against the hll. Right. You can't fuck around. so yeah, we got a sub. We already built subs. Why would we reinvent the fucking wheel?end We're gonna to put a sub and send it to fucking Jupiter. See what happened That's great. So maybe these things are working with a technology like that because Otherwise I mean, they could be super advanced. and this could be just like a weird like non lethal weapon that they're using to keep the locals at bay Nobody died. Well, everybody dies eventually. Yeah. But and some people do think that maybe there were terrible side effects to this exposure. I mean, just just like the initial reaction that they're having to this and it's like lasting for weeks. Yeah is not good. No. No Like I've been hit with sociia when you need it. Yeah, no, honestly. Like I've been hit with like hypochloride and it's not sounds's terrible. I don't know what it is. It's like, it's chlorine but there's also like bulf. bisulfide smells like sulfury. Okay. And when you get it in your nose. God, you actually use the bisulfite to cut the hypo. So hypo was like super chlorine Bisulfate is what you used to like cut it. Okay. So it cuts it down But when you get it in your nose, you can taste it. Yeah likeike just by like smelling too much of Dude, I've inhaled chlorine that goes into a pool. like someone's overag No ye like mistakes were made. one hundred percent. Yeah. Like I was like call them like poison hotlines. So I don't even imagine what that is. But you also hit on something too earlier about this being like maybe some sort of like military experiment or something. like this very well could You don't hear people often offering that one up. I'm sure we're not the first, but you it's not But that's not a common theory. Granted you've got things coming, you know, across the sky, different metedors, things crashing piles If it's a midieink A If it is a military thing, is it part of shit that crashed? and is there more of them? Right? Or is this completely not part of like the UFOs and all that other shit I know Well, there's two things. One, I mean obviously, we're sort of just wildly speculating that it no yeah I back. Yeah. This, in my opinion is one hundred percent part and parcel of ighter flap that came in from the Atlantic. Okay. simply because the timing. Literally, it happened earlier that. It happened earlier that No, I was just wondering if w And then these objects were all described very similarly, basically as flaming buckets, dropping off globules of molten ye. This one just happened to land. It seems to be the same one that Nunleee's Bw. Perhaps sampling that Py Clay saw. We don't know for sure They were seen there was one that crashed obviously in Sugar Creek I think this is part of that And I think that this thing is Also part of that and also part of the same fleet that tried to go to Rpe Patterson and Oak Creek and flew over the Capitol What we'll be getting into Next time. are some people that claim to have seen beneath the armor? No, okay, interesteresting. Which is very interesting and definitely would I'll leave it at this. Remove any idea that it's human based technology. If this is true, it's gross under there, skin and nastyiness. I'm not saying that. All right. I didn't say it was like a fucking like a skin samw. It we got like Darth Vader's head under there. It's a tumor with a helet. Y No, it's not. dolls it do looks like. Oh, yeah one' just like a biggs not. Yeah they too big booger. L someone sneezed inside the shell and it pilots it now And then again, back onto the tip of like this being some sort of like experiment or whatever. that very well could be something from like a, you know, an enemy nation state. could be something from Russia, could be something from wherever. Sure. all coming over. obbviously taking apart the you know, not Not talking about the whole you know underneath the. I mean I could see it being Byzantini with a A thing. I mean, like almost if you like some time traveling type stuff like Russia has very busyantort you're right the sppires of the Kremlin Yeah right A of sppes hood. I guess. especially like World War I era stuff was all like very like blocky and like sure like, you know, like the way that it was built at the tanks and all that everything was just sort of like Utilitarian. Yeah exactly. Not sleek. Yeah. Nothing was sleek Yeah That's why I love like the original design of Iron Man. I know it's completely fictional. The chunker. I love this One of my favoritees. I missed it about the newer movies. I'm like, I want the chunk. I want the chunker. Like I know. in Pacific R the garage. Like Yeah Oh, they nailed it to that. said wait The Cirno alpha. He was the best. Has just a reactor on its head. Yeah. Yeah got arms Like Russia has the coolest one. It's so over I think Japan had the one that had like the three arms or. I think it' China China that triplets hand with that one Fantastic folks. that movie in fucking IMax three D great changes of my life.inema never same. I don't know if there's ever been a. was more helped by IMAax.ike that movie was a great on its own seeing it IyMax was like ridiculous living through it. Yeah. Yeah even not even Charlie Hoen could ruin that. No. no. I like I like Charlie. He's al right. I mean, I mean, you know, it is it the stick is the stick. The comedy stick. He's always going to have Ron Pearl Men. he's always going to have fucking some stick. That's Dro And I love them.. You know, And I even like the sticks sometimes. I mean clearly it just allis say Yeah he saves everything. He does. What does he not save? I'm not going to die on that wall. I'm going to die in the Yeager. Dude for sure. I know Like I'm like, had less die in the yager. You can in the water in the water You can make macaroni and cheese and then forget that you didn't have milk or butter. Right. Itras helpa shows up That's the besting yogurt. There is. saves everything. He always has the ingredients. Y. one hundred percent. Thank you for joining us Scrirypting not podcasting on flat What Mster? Rductx Par three enter the green Mster. Got some crazy shit coming or not green. Yeah Yeah or alumums. We're not really sure. But ye, man next week, come back. We got some fun stuff happening and there some more follow up here to the flat encnter Robert, before we get out of here, we're going to than the good folks who support us every month with our hard earned cash over at Patreon Patreon. com slash crypting a podcast all your bonus content needs a one dollar, a five dollar and a ten dollar. all kinds of crazy stuff. Also too, you get access the discord, and if like you were a newer listener, and you're like, wow, I w want to check some more stuff out. There is a literal ton of content over there. Oh my gosh, so much stuffs lot. was going say today I'm like, godam. L stupido. It's a whole hell of a lot of stuff. So Beginning with Lilliam Thank you Leam, we appreciate it. Thank you,. Oh yeah Cloudy beard with aK. excellent. Cloudy beard. Hell yeah, let's do. Nicholas Stivers. Thank you, Nicholas. We appreciate it. Hooldly stiver. Holy stivers. lost to. Midnight seas Vanessa Kelli. Vanessa, than you so much We appreciate thisobass Last, you know it's not fucking least Maybe it is this one time, but you know what It never has been before. so why should I assume? Don't change it to the max Butternuts uck. Is it butter nuts or butter muts Butter It's with an e. I can't see. evenven with my glasses on know a lowercase are next to a lowercase. Yeah, no I totally get. It conffounds the old man's eye. Yeah. I would first to admit. Thank you, butterns. At this vantage point for my computer, everything is sort of glowing in a blur. so s. Well, also you're wearing your distance glasses. Might need to get some can't read with your distance glasses brok Yeah that's that's why I Hey, if you ever decide to read again and I know that's a long shot. Yeah. now you know. there you go. Noing have to battle. So social media, folks are out there we're doing short phone videos, all kinds of fun stuff Instagram, TikToks, We're, we're doing it YouTube. cheheck it out. We got some merch Hellerspace d. com There is sales going on awes along. S be sure to check that out All kinds of fun stuff. It's officially short season. Oh yeah. rocking my cryptonot shortss been going on my nightly walks. Pokey man. Sometimes you talk about shorts and it's short form videos and sometimes you're talking about clothes. Yeah, everyvery time, I don't know what you're talking. You can watch the short form videosight on TikTok or YouTube while you're watchinging short shorts and not shorts. that are so com You get totes, andugs totes theres there's so much stuff mugs. I completely dress up. You can totally like, I've had the days where I'm like, all right I got my cryptonot shorts, I got my t shirt and I got my hat and I'm all cptonoted Yeah yeah. there you go. compompany man. There you go. There it is, ye. abbsolutely. If you don't know what I'm into, there it is. Now you know my own self, my own self Exactly. meem of friends. there it is U And yeah, again, Patreon, all kinds of bonus content patreon. com S sccript in the podcast. cheheck that. I'll also get you discord access We have a number that you can reach us at if I can find the number. Oh yeah, it'sero five three seven zero six eight five three. Look I think this much. I don' I know because the one who bought the m jack. There it is. excellent. So yes, we had that number. You can call in your creepy experiences after this series. We're going to be delving into listener stories. You can submit your listener stories at crypton podcast at gmail dot com orr you can go to cryptonippodcast dot com fill out the form there And yeah after the listenerers story is going to be going into like the hotline. So again, number. you can call, you can leave a creepy experience And we're going to sit down, you know, coast coast down and listen to them. So it's going to be super fun. We got at least one more This might be the penultimate Okay, we're not. Well you know, dude, we're going to see where it takes us. By the time this comes out, it's already been America's two hundred fiftieth. Yeah, right. So anything's possible, man. we could who knows, man. We are on the Around the the Flatwood Express Oen sees the Flatwoods. Oh. We're gonna see where it takes us. Well, you know, theress there's lots of research. And I've read it all. nice. And then when I revisit it, I'm like, well, fuck, how can I not talk about that? You have to, dude. There We'll see. And of course obviously a huge shout out to our buddy mr. Cole Har. Of course. This would not be possible without him. No Thank you so much Cole. Just one of the finest researchers in the biz it. We appreciate it, man. It's so awesome He's just absolutely indispensable. You know, I mean, I pride myself on being able to research, but then When I'm in a pinch, I prostrate myself in front of C call. I'm like, sir Always comes up with shit that I could not imagine in the kindest fashion ever. D' than you Cole. Boots in the ground, man, getting a do. cononstant percent. There it is. So there is y'all. Thankk you so very much. and I'll be talking to you soon Goodbye. Keep your eyes to the sky You never know what's coming next Firework season is upon us, boy is My God U No, I've got like the ground displays like for the fourourth of July stuff. like I like Walmart. I'm not getting any of the flying stuff Yeah like The tent is up in the Walmart parking lot. But if you go to the tent and then you look at how much they're charging you and you go inside now inside's cheaper The stuff in the tent is just like, it's so much more expensive.' it's all the ground display. Right. It's all reallyuff. Yeah. I thought it wouldd be just like the gigantic packages of like everything. Yeah, but it's all ground display stuff. There's no like projectiles or anything like that. No Roman king projectiles. All right. ye. I'm not ground display means it just doesn't leave the ground. It's only lights on the ground. Yeah. likeike you light a font Oh, okay, okay. I got that All the ones that I always get don't I don't mess with any of them projectile ones anymore. likeike this far too dangerous. donon't want to like someone through my face or like through, you know, my pool. That's fair Yeah. last year I had a coworker that almost like got hit in the head and she caught it like in the leg and it was real super scary Yeah. And then she showed me video and laghed I' like, that's the traumatic thing I've ever seen