Russia and Qatar Hosting Challenges

When exploring live streams on whatnot from a buyer's perspective, it becomes instantly clear why this platform is climbing straight to the top of the app store. Loging into a live stream to source some name brand apparel, the immediate takeaway is the community experience. Inead of scrolling through flat, sterile product listings, Buyers connect directly with passionate sellers to discover unbeatable deals in real time. It changes how you shop and ensures you almost never pay full retail price But there's an entirely separate side to whatnot, that's completely reshaping how people run businesses. Anyone who sells products online or operates a physical storefront, whether it's a full time venture or a side hustle, knows the fundamental challenge. You upload a listing and then you just wait, hoping a customer stumbles across it Whatnot completely flips that model Here, you go live and sell directly to an active engaged audience in real time They see what you have, ask questions, and purchase on the spot as the largest live shopping marketplace in the country Whatnot has built an incredibly dedicated user base, with buyers averaging more than an hour a day inside the app. Because you're building authentic connections rather than just posting texts and photos, sellers are moving up to ten times more volume here than on conventional marketplaces It spans across every major category from luxury, fashion and beauty lectronics and collectibles Consistency pays off, and the number of sellers earning over one million dollars a year on the platform has officially doubled over the past year Download the Wnot A app today and get free shipping on your first order. to search W H A T N O T Whatnot in the app store and start scoring amazing deals High stress environments and constant new cycles can lead to elevated core body temperatures, which directly prevents the body from entering deep sleep When the body is too warm, it cannot recover properly leading to persistent fatigue regardless of how many hours are spent in bed. The ChiliPad two.z by SleepMe offers a scientific solution to this issue This water based mattress topper actively controls bed temperature from fifty five to one hundred and fifteen degrees throughout the night Unlike fans that simply move hot air, the chilli pad uses chilled water to pull heat away from the body, providing a more efficient and natural cooling experience. The two doz system features a redesigned, quieter dock with a larger tank and a premium washable performance grade cover. A notable feature is the Nightstand remote, which allows for independent dual zone temperature control and includes a sensor that automatically triggers a preset sleep schedule upon entry The system is designed and assembled in the USA with no subscription required and a two year warranty Visit wWW dot sleepot me slash dailyhow to get up to two hundred and fifty five dollars off your chili pad twootz with code Daily Show That's wWW. sleep SL EEP d. m e slash Daily showow free shipping free returns and a thirty night trial so you can test it out Dream big and wake up better The headlines will still be there in the morning, you might as well wake up ready for them. You're listening to comomedy Central. Fans from all over the world that isn't America descended on the tiny continent of Asia last week from the two thousand two World Cup, where amidst a high level of security and an even higher level of public shame The most popular port sporting men of the finally got in the way. The games have produced a stunning upset already. Defending champion France lost to Senegal one to nill an unbelievably sweet win for Senegal over France three hundred one years ago, Senegal was a French colony, plundered, raped, despoiled of its natural resources, but now they beat them in soccer won nothing, so I guess it's even Meanwhile, in Group B action, Paraguay battled South Africa to a two too tie. Wh, T too tie? No love lost between those two countries. Or hate or commerce, for that matter, they won't Did you know that overseas what we call soccer is known as football? It's true. And what we call the greatest country on Earth, they call the G Satan. But World Cup soccer is really about the fans. Many of the true die hardards to go along with their face and body paint and colorful wigs brought novelty items like this Belgian pitchfork and this Irish hammer as creative ways to show their support, as well as give those novelty items a much appreciated chance to visit their homelands Aside from hosting duties, Japan and South Korea are themselves fielding teams. A Japanese fan base includes a large contingency of young people excited for their country's first ever appearance in World Cup, including these Japanese scalpers . Actually, there are plenty of tickets to be had for the event, and in Korea, supporters lined up for their chance to see today's match against Poland. And after buying one of the fifty thousand available tickets, there was only one thing for this fan to say. D comeue That of course, is the winner of Korea's annual Most atttainable Dream competition But what about the United States team? They're there too and US coach Bruce Ainna is fired up I've been at one game and I thought everything went well Yeah USA soccer, catch the chronic fatigue syndrome Arinna was also asked his thoughts about America's match against Portugal. The one area that stands out with Portugal is their great attack and qualities. The combination of players. It's just not one player or two players, but it's a combination of Figo, Conco, Pulletta, perhaps Pinto and Cost at the same time Oh interesting. I have a quick follow up question. It's time to address all the sports fans out there. Are you guys tired of the same old, same old? anotherother title for the Lakers, another title for the Tiger Woods? Another call from Tony and Master Picqua, wanting to know what Mike Lupica thinks is up with the Yankees. We cast your eyes Over to South Korea where the United States soccer team has done something it's only accomplished once before Cold fusion. I'm sorry. they made it to the World Cup quarter fininals. This morning, the United States team He gone to Mexico twozero to advance to the World Cup quarterfals for the first time since nineteen thirty The wind goes a long way towards establishing the United States as a legitimate soccer power I importantortantly, it gives this country a big psychological boost Finally, paying back Mexico for that Uh, time, uh They, u You know, in Mexico, You know what? Mexico probably needed this win more than we did, quite frankly They're the ones running here For now though, the streets of America's soccer crazed urban centers are taming With one fan in particular speaking for an entire grateful nation We've all been there. You know, interesting note. Interesting note, the man's face isn't actually painted. He's just embarrassed here He saw a ghost hereere and here and is choking here After his winning goal, emerging United States star Landon Donovan followed soccer's celebratory etiquette and removed his shirt in jubilation The player stripping is a ubiquitous occurrence at the World Cup, but just why do they do it more, we take you out to South Korea, where our Chief World Cup correspondent, Rob Cordre is standing by, Rob. Thankks for joining us. Thank you, John. Rob, what a fantastic win, but I gott to ask you when they score a goal Why do they take their shirts off John players removing their shirts during the bright flash of victory is a healthy and natural expression of their virtuous, but long sublimated warrior selves This kind of aggressive, delicate poetry is summoned when our most elite physical champions succeed what on Earth to do. Simply put Do it because it is beautiful. beauty be honor. Wow. Thank you, Rob. That was That was a really insightful report. Thank you. You liked it Yeah, Yeah Yeah. Yeah Yeah. Best report ever! All right,'s. Thank you.. I'll be right back But obviously the big story that everybody's talking about the World Cup E Copa de Mond. Yesterday, Italy defeated France five to three on penalty kicks to win their fourth title Jubilant fans filled Italy's famed piazzas in celebration. We take you now live to Rome. Jason Jones, you've been covering the tournament, Jason Pfect to see you. Wow. All up Pe people are they're still celebrating It must have be quite a night and day. crazy. Crazy, John. to see these two magnificent teams Kick a ball back and forth for two hours. real thrill. But I think I speak for most Americans when I say the real appeal here was the subtext Watching Italy and France not just play a game of soccer, but settle an old score. An old witch by Italy and France. The greatism, John. Pope Clement V moving the papacy to Avingon France to escape in fighting amongst the Roman elite Come on, No, I know. Some soccer fans will tell you the matter was settled in thirteen seventy eight when Gregory XleI moved the papacy back to Rome, but the wound fesered until yesterday when the great schism was settled as it should have been all along by penalty kicks. Take that, France, Where's your anthi papacy now? Beachch M We uh Obviously the anti papacy angle aside, the real story of the game appeared to be French star Zine Zedan ejected for this headbt of Italy's Marco Madarazzi in the chest. What are you hearing as to why that happened? Well, some say words were being exchanged, pererhaps something along the lines of the Italian calling SZedan And Algerian bastard whose mother was a Berber whore But if you look at the tape, it's equally likely Zedan was trying to save Marazzi's life as an Italian, it's highly likely that the talented midfielder was choking on a spicy meato ball Which Sidan bravely dislodged from his good friend's windpipe with a quick head butt to the sternum Jason a spicy meatball sounds somewhat unlikely. Joh, John, you cannot underestimate the Italianans's love For this bike can eat the bar Did the incident in any way cast a pall on the victory celebration for the Italian? Not at all, John. I think the Italian team can take solace in knowing that their combination of rugged good looks and victory in the World Cup make them arguably the most human beings on the planet For the next month, adoring crowds will hold their penises aloft and pass them from Milan to Naples Stanley Cup style. Well, thank you very much, Jason. Enjoy the celebration. Jason Jones live from Italy. Picture this It's late at night and you're scrolling through your feeds When all of a sudden you see it That one product that you've been looking for. You click on the link, add to cart, Maybe even chop around a little more before finally hitting checkout As you're filling in your address, you realize you don't have your card anywhere near you That's when you see it That purple pay button that has all your information saved, making checkout as simple as a simple tap on your screen. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and ten percent of all e commerce in the US From household names like Jim Shark It's aviator nation To brands just getting started. What if people haven't heard of my brand Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run emails and social media campaigns Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you Easy to create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling Best yet Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything. from managing inventory to international shipping, to processing returns and beyond It's time to turn those what ifs into withith Shopify today Sign up for your one dollar per month trial today at shhopify. com slash daily Sh Go to shhopify. com slash daily showow. Shopify d. com slash daily show Tomorrow marks the beginning of the World Cup, El Capa del Mundo In Almania, gripping much of the planet we turn for insight to our resident expert Mr John Hodgman, John, thank you so much for joining. even Obviously, many viewers are not knowledgeable about the game. in the world of soccer How important is the World Cup? Oh, it's the biggest sporting and cultural event on the world stage. In two thousand two, the World Cup final was watched by some eighty five trillion people Really Yes. It's like the Olympics, plus the World sereries, plus the birth of your first child all multiplied by x, where X equals awesome whyy hasn't soccer been embraced by Americans? Well, it has by some, for example, the famous soccer moms who have tried to liven the game up for Americans by introducing minivans into play and also casual sex. casual sex. Yes, that's what the minivans are for. You've obviously never been to Brookline, Massachusetts. Smilf capital of New England To American eize, John, the way soccer is followed overseas, the passion it inspires, the maniacal behavior in the stands, it seems almost out of control. Why? Well, there are two reasons for this. They're foreigners. and Second, it's nations going against nations, revisiting ancient rivalries. in a way, it's a metaphor for global conflict. When England takes on France, for example, it's the Battle of Vagincorps all over again with David Beckham as King Henry V and the French players as France But Americans we're a passionate people. We're a nationalistic people. We can get into those kinds of rivalries as well. Yeah, yeah, but Americans don't need a metaphor for war We have war. If anything, we use war as a metaphor for sports. Take today, for example, it happened today. I have a transcript here of the pilot's response after he dropped the bomb on Zarkai and I willll quote Oh. Roger, end quote It's interesting, John. J just a last question, whoo do you see taking this thing this year? Oh, well, they are the traditional powerhouses, Brazil, Germany, Payle. P P is a person. You can't count out the black peearl jump. but I'd rather not make a prediction. I'd like to sit back and enjoy these games. The great thing about the World Cup is thirty two nations enterered the tournament But only one will move on Move on Yes, to face other planetary champions in the galaxy cver.. happens every millennium. And for three K, I will make a prediction. Rigeal seven unbeatable Why Rigeel seven? They've cut tentacles. and they're building a robo payay. All right. John Hodgman, everybody This Saturday The United States of America is playing our first World Cup match against our friendren enemies across the pond A Aun. A No one is more excited than our very own John Oliver. Everyone's talking about the big game on Saturday. The Americans will take on one of the tournament favorites, England. That's right, England, the country that lives and breathes the sport, home of the Premier League. It! We literally invented the game and on june twelfth will face off against the USA. the Clown College of foootball So when I was given the privilege of reporting from the US World Cup training camp, I approached it with the appropriate level of reverence. I'm here with the magnificent US soccet.orry. I'll try I'll try again. United States soccer. I just think's I' serious. Okay, Dar four, Darour Dar four I'm here with them I'm here with the United States Soccer team G it Still, they are technically qualified for this World Cup and deserve to be treated with respect You know a chance to play England in the first game, you know is awesome. Do you have a positive mindset going into the game? Definitely. Why? Why do you have a positive mindset when you're staring to the abyss of inevitable defeat? there's no easy games in a World Cup. Right. I mean, there are no easy games in international football anymore apart from the US, and you never get to play yourself. Is that fair Of course, being an American soccer player presents its own unique challenges. How did you tell your parents that you wanted to be an American soccer player? It was pretty easy. They were very supportive. mean I can just imagine the scene, your dad saying, Please no son, tellell me that you're gay. Yeah, that's actually not how the conversation went at all. believe it or not You haven't told him yet. Now would be the perfect time for you to make this big, brave step, look straight into the camera and say, Mom, I'm a US soccer player Mom, I'm a US soccer player ly mor hge. You should probably call them before this goes out though, yeah. To save them from further humiliation, I decided to teach them some basic fundamentals. This is called juggling. juggling, okay? It's not complicated, just one and one. o, you tried One Yeah No, not like that. No, that's not, hold on, No, no no, that's not it. No no, no, Don't over compplicate it. That's not how you give me the ball. Give me the ball. You give me the ball. stop it give me that. Leave it alone! Fine. So they could do circus tricks. That hardly makes them real footballers. Just to be certain this was nothing to worry about, I went to a US World Cup warm up match There were a few more fans than I was expecting. UAA And they were playing at a surprisingly high level. They'd had their fun. but now they'd be playing an actual European team, the Czech Republic This ought to be hilarious One nice cross, Big deal That' a pretty good run down the line Whoa, nice fruble We should not be able to do that Okay, one lucky goal. Let's not get carried away Something was very wrong. So with the England game on the horizon, I headed back to camp knowing exactly what I needed to do. Tell you what you absolutely must do in South Africa, midnight stroll through Saito Yeah, it sounds nice. Yeah. Just wear as much expensive jewellelry as you can Okay. Apparently a South African local delicacy is river water. Just drinking gallons upon gallons of unfiltered river water. Also they'd need to learn the local language. I have a few phrases in Africaans which might help you while you're there. Just try now Eggve Grag. Eggville Grag Don Angeo Der? Don Angeo Daughter. Ovro of Albei. Ovrao Oraui. That's great. And what does that mean? It means it's a pleasure and an honour to be in your country. In all seriousness, I do have a heartfelt message for my adopted country J Joinking apart. the USA has been my home for the last four years. now I'm a huge football fan. I just want to wish you all the best out there. Thank you. Yeah I appreciate.. good luck out there. All right, all the best But let me be perfectly clear, it's not just Stuart Holden or the entire US football team who can suck it. As far as this reporter is concerned, come june twelfth, it's you. It's America. You can all go suck it. E suck G a little bit about England right now. England, of course, is our special ally, our friend with diplomatic benefits. But this weekend, all that was put aside is the United States faced off against our mates across the pond in the first round of the twenty ten World Cup. Yes Like like the revolutionary warar all over again, onlyn this time most of America doesn't give it how it turns out. Of course, this World Cup takes place in Africa, which presented some unique challenges. Check this out. The American team bus yesterday was stopped on the road because of passing elephants They've all been there. At least they got there. The Slovaks lost a goalie to a hungry, hungry hippo Those who tuned into the game were treated to an exciting match, made even more thrilling by a swarm of angry bees that was apparently bearing down on the stadium. Where's my happppy pen? Where's my happppy pen? Who has my happppy You know, I never thought the Daileily Show would have the same ending as my girl Did I give it away erence. Actually, that sound was the product of a plastic horn called the Vvaela, named of course for famed South African horn great Vuazela. You check out his first album, Annoying High pitched Wine. A cat could blow. Anyway, despite the fact that England was heavily favored, the game ended in a one one tie due to a mishandled ball by England's goalie, Robert Green. years of preparation in the hopes of an entire nation undone by A giantp. Sure the British media will handle it with trademark Rerve. Green being barbecued by the British tabloids today, the handand of Claude. They called his performance rubbish. They called it Rob still too green for England. Look at that one. Green fingers Ooh, burn Y'all invented the English language, sarcasm Cing on people. That's the best you've got. Look at our tabloids. Yeah. Imagine what they would write if we can. Now we sent our John Oliver to South Africa to cover the event. He was at the game on Saturday. He joins us live from Johannesburg, John. how are you J South Africa, the game on Saturday? Yeah, I was indeed there. Quite a result Quite a result for the United States. Wha. Well, you know, it was a draw J. So let's not get carried away. bothoth sides get a solid point. And we can both now look forward to the next two games. Absolutely, absolutely. It's interesting that the result is proof I guess that both teams are equally good. They had the No actually That's not it at all, John. that's not a fact. It' actually the definition of what happened is that both teams get the exact same amount of points. That's which means they are in fact not even subjectively they are mathematically, I believe, equal We're the same. No, no We are exactly as good as each other. We exactly embringly more not a mod. No, no, John. Be England are scientifically are far better team. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. You're right, I apologize, thats No one is better at not beating America Ben England That was the result, It was a fine result. and we'll take it. Just if I may say have a quick comment on the back of that John. Please. yourves to it. And if I may return the volley and say to you, John Oliver, to go yourself the exact same amount because we are You're misunderstanding menderstand Nhing, nothing. A huge portion of the day is spent sitting in meetings, and the other half is usually spent trying to look back through messy notes to remember what actually got decided. It's incredibly common to leave a complex conversation thinking everything is clear, but later on, the heavy mental load kicks in. tryrying to reconstruct what was said, separating the background noise from crucial details, and figuring out the exact next steps creates a ton of follow up confusion across a team To solve that, a very interesting shift has been happening since introducing Plaude into the daily workflow. That's spelled PLAUD. What makes them completely different is that they are a hardware first AI work companion. Instead of just being another digital app running in the background of a computer, it's a dedicated physical device built to capture real world conversations. It effortlessly bridges in person discussions, phone calls, and online meetings directly into one continuous workflow The biggest daily change is that it completely takes the pressure off remembering everything. Attention isn't split between tryrying and listening anymore. It allows for total focus on people in the room. For highly structured decision heavy meetings, Plod Note Pro has become an essential tool. It functions as the world's most advanced AI note taker, turning raw audio into structured summaries, clear insights, and actionable follow ups. It lets you focus on the conversation For anyone whose business, medical practice, or sales cycle depends heavily on accurate discussions, this makes a massive difference. And for anyone managing sensitive information, it's built to enterprise great security standards, fully compliant with SOC two, HIPA, and GDPR. Check it out at PLad dot ai slash daily and use code daily for up to twenty percent off. That's pLaD dotai slash daily Fromo code daily Save more on what you need to get the job done right. Right now, add Lowe's! Get fifteen percent off, select custom entry and interior doors. Plus, save eighty dollars on the DWalt twenty Volt Max two tool combo kit, now just one hundred sixty nine dollars. And at the Lowe's Pro desesk, bring us your materials list and get a quote in minutes. Handwritten, a photo, or even a sticky note is all you need Keep your jobs moving faster and on budget at lows. Fid through sevenenty eight while supplies last. Selection varies by location. Helloo, my name is John G on thean the. Sorry. I'm just a little excited about landing Donovan's head Just get off and you can't breathe. US soccer team has been sent to the next round of the World Cup the final sixteenam. huge. for two reasons. firstirst, obviously national pride. And second, if we go all the way this year, if we win the World Cup, the whole rest of the world has to then refer to the sport as soccer. Joh South Africa John Oliver. nice Jo. Congratulations to you as well. Jon, congratulations. I wanted to say congratulations to you as well. England defeated Slovenia, one nil a well played match. you' in. Congratulations. Hey, thanks very much, John. And do you know what? cononggratulations to you too.. What a breakthrough for America All right, you finally made it. Well come on, come on. welcome. The round sixteen, we've actually been there prior, but it was the next one. No, no, I meant welcome to the Third worldld I don't I'm Third world, John, Tod, America officially became a third worldld country because we w a succeran. Just crunch the numb, Stewart. Rampant unemployment, your dollar is basically valueless. You owe billions to other countries. You can't win a war for. And what's more, you dominated a game of football and you deserve to win it Yeah, that doesn't make us a third world nation. No no, you're right. You're right about that, John. In a third world nation, you would have seen desperate people huddled around television sets, just waiting for one moment of football joy to distract them from what is otherwise just a bleak and unforgiving life Like this Seattle. It's bleaker than most. Oh, come on. I think you're just a little upset that the world's greatest superpower is becoming one of the world's greatest soccer powers.. That's right. Soccer. Yes Denial. I've been there, John. Don't worry. life gets easier from here. There's a lot less pressure on you. Your flag gets set on fire less. Your abysmal math scores are now ranked as pretty good considering. Let's be honest, for the most powerful country in the world, you were in pretty bad shape But for a third world country, you're easily in the top five. Easily. And now, no longer. are you going to have to act like you're above the rest of the planet's favorite sport? All right, Well, thank you very much,. by the way, you're obviously going against Germany in the next round. Yes ye, looking forward to that.'s a difficultatch. I' not saying it's easy but I'm looking forward He gives you guys England your side any trouble. And you need America to swoop in and bail your asses again. Let us know C Thank you so much! He Jon. O over everybody. H The entire world, except obviously for France and Italy, is ablaze with World Cup fever. But what does this worldorld Cup mean to Africa? John Oliver finds out in his first dispatch from South Africa Africa A land known for its stunning vistas, magnificent wildlife, and all the sounds of nature. And Now this The first African World Cup. The first World Cup held on African Soil. To learn more about this landmark event, I headed to beautiful Johannesburg to meet the spokesman for the World Cup Committee This is the first African World Cup. This is going to put Africa on the map. On the map. And they've made this World Cup as African as can be, starting with the official song by a local artist named Sakira. Sakira. What tribe is she from He's not actually African, she's Colombian. African, Colombian doesn't matter. The point is she's not white Yes She's even honoud Africa by performing in oil face in her video. Afica. But that was just the beginning. Outside the stadium, it was an explosion of African culture. Brought to you by. Coca Cola from the beverages to the food, to the traditional African hand carved FIFA Ballpoint pens. They even provided the local street vendors who'd been working the stadiums for decades with their own special zone, conveniently located nowhere near bothersome customers FIFA is imposed one kilometer radius from the stadium Street vendors would not be allowed to trade The people that have been preferred in this worldld Cp will be the McDonald, the Coca Colas and all these European companies. Then you will tell me, what is African about that? Well, let me put it to you this way. What's more African than the subjugation of black people ight? We don't eat hamburgas as South Africans or as African people. We want to entertain the visitors with the local food. Does any of that food come with a free toy like a little plastic leopard kicking a football Thisound finally that question to me. Do you know how much South African goverment, our own government has contributed to this wecome? About five billion dollars We need meducation, we need hospitals, we need education. What is Bimar is for us to find a way of earning a living. Clearly he was ignoring all the local jobs being created, like World Cup security agents To protect Africans from being exploited by having their views heard. As they impounded our cameras, I realised the organizers had struck the perfect balance. You don't want to make it too African. Not at all. You want to give people just enough Africa to intrigue them, not so much that it terrifies them What you do is you pick What you want and you leave out what you don't want. And the one thing they did want, this is going to be the noisiest Right, because of our cultural instrument called Vovazllas. Right If you're not used to it, get used to it. This is the beginning thehe of ity wouldn't they like it? nois It's ridiculous. It's noisy. There's nothing irritating about that There' nothing back to the US. Even as I reveveled in the World Cup spirit, It saddened me to think of all the Africans in places like the infamous township of Suito who wouldn't get to experience it. As I played with a local Sito team, laughing and enjoying the game that had brought us together, I knew I had found the true spirit of the African World Cup I realised how I could give it to them. They show them what Africa is all about. Official FIFA licensed snow gllobe bought from a licensed retailer That's yeah. Okay, okay, okay. I've got something for you. Soy blend scented candles C on it's relaxing. This is gonna get. This is the one I've been holding back. Boom, come on. Are you cheing me? Are you cheing me This brainings you the importance of the licensing system. A they get it someday. Later that night, as we watched the opening game in a Sito Sabin, and as we saw South Africa score the first goal of the World Cup, bringing joy to an entire country, I had to admit. this African World Cup might not be perfect, but it's absolutely amazing. Now if they would just stop with those ulazeous If There was one big story coming out of the World Cup knockout round. It was the referee. Terrible calls. The Americans had two clearly legal goals disallowed. Argentina was awarded a goal off sides. And if this absolutely good goal had been allowed for England, Germany would only have handed them their asses four to two 'm Sorry. I meant their' bums. Not to mention I have no idea how the officials let this guy play for Argentina. What is that? That's not even indigenous. There's no reason. Now Obviously, the subjective officiating is one of the hurdles that soccer faces and catching on here in America. Can soccer have a lasting appeal to an American audience? For answers, return to Daily Show resident expert John Hodgman and you're welcome He, than you so much for joining us. We're delighted to have you here. Thank you, John, and you're welcome. But really, the World Cup Why are we still talking about this? This is ancient history Ancient history' John it's still going on. Yeah, the United States has been eliminated, so who cares? I mean, the only people who care about the World Cup now are sad obsessive soccer nerds trying to relive the glory of their college days Yes, That's why I was staring at you The problem with the World Cup John starts with the name the World Cup. The, No problem. goodood strong article. Cups. Where would our drinks be without them? And what does that leave us? Wor Don't say that word. You know, John, I was listening to the radio the other day, trying to get in touch with the average Joseph cares about. And I heard a man who made a lot of sense on this subject. The the soccer thing I hate it so much, probably because the rest of the world likes it so much and they riot over it and they continually try to jam it down our throat Wait a moment, if you think about it, Glenn Beck makes a lot of sense. And if you don't think about it, he makes even more sense. At every level, soccer represents a completely alien worldview to the American. Americans, for example, are accustomed to games with excitement, born of fierce competition and the occasional scoring of points. But that'sccer. No, no. Soccer is some swarthy Dutchman rolling around on the field pretending to have a near fatal stubbed toe. There There is a bit of exaggeration at times. Diving is a tactical thing. Well, that brings me my first solution for soccer Eliminate socialized medicine What that What does that have to do with soccer that? Well, Jon, think of the lesson it sends to the children No matter how minor or fictitious their injury, soccer players still get on the spot world class medical attention, whisked away on free government stretchers and cured with European magical healing spray until they're well enough to get back on the government dole or field. By which I mean doll It has to stop, John. John you're suggesting that injured players not receive medical attention? No, I'm just saying we should do it the way we do it in America If a player is injured on the field He goes bankrupt and loses his house The free market never blows a call, John. But partart of the appeal of the World Cup is its universality. It's a simple game uniting diverse cultures where everyone is equal, meeting literally on a level playing field. Very, very sweet, John. I was a college sophomore once too. But hereere in the real world I see I see a little problem with your egalitarian paradise Now who are the countries who are still in the courarter of fininals, for example? Brazil, Paraweay, Spain, Argentina, Germany. You see the pattern? You see the pattern, don't you G good soccer team. No, John, no. They're all countries that gave safe haven to Nazi war criminals. Wait. Paraguay, Brazil. Argentina. Come on, John, donon't be naive. Have you even seen the boys from Brazil Wait, the US lost to Ghana. That doesn't fit in with your theory. Oh o sorry, John, you're saying there's no such thing as an African born crypto fascist tyrant. Look, who's in the White House, John What Glen Beck have you been listening to? A lot The point is, John, you can't expect Americans to enjoy a game that is essentially World War two, except this time we lose. Which brings me to my second solution, let us win. But justust let America win. Why? Yeah doesn't J just two or three or four World Cups. So we have a taste. Americans love sports at which they're the best Like basketball and diabetes. Do you believe the World Cup would be more popular if World Cup players had more trouble processing sugar? No.. I believe it would be more popular the World Cup took greater pains to entertain the American audience, which brings me to my final solution, apologies to the Brazilian team Roll it, Chuck. Welcome to solution number three, a soccer, rap video. I'm John H and I'm here to say I like to watch soccer, also known as football. It's not just for Europe anymore. It's also a game for American shorts. Aha. I'm not here just to sell ruffles. I'm also here to wrap the soccer AK football shuffle. Be sure that that is sarcasm By the way, you worked in productuct placement. That was nice. It was very nice. Product Oh, do you mean rifles? America's only corrugated potato chip Or were you talking about my begrudging endorsement of soccer? Because the fact is I'm in between advertising gigs right now, and I'll take anything I can getess. Thank you very much. John Hodman, everybody. We'll be right n Our Ramascul Los isvocacada projectosanti. Our Achine Porento Nuna Alexion de Puertas andradas Santteriorees personersalisabas Adamasurchentadoresunquid de doos Ramientas the wolf de Vainevolos max Pcientosente Nuedo Ares. Genel Pesqu the Loss try to lista the materialisescrita in ununa photo reimuna cotion andinutos. Ajilizatus projectos Mintraasiges Ondo Cos Posetochooto resistanceo Marug Save more on what you need to get the job done right. Right now, at Lowe's. Get fifteen percent off, select custom entry and interterior doors. Plus, save eighty dollars on the Dalt twenty Volt Max two tool combo kit, now just one hundred sixty nine dollars. And at the Low's Pro desesk, bring us your materials list and get a quote in minutes. Handwritten, a photo, or even a sticky note is all you need Keep your jobs moving faster and on budget at lows. Vallid through seven eight while supppplies last. Selection varies by location twenty eighteen, FIFA World Cup officially kicked off today in Russia I know for most Americans, the World Cup isn't important. You know it ranks somewhere between a midseason WNBA game and the Nathan's Hot doog eating contest. But for the rest of the world, this tournament is as big as it gets because it's not just about the sport It's a chance for the coast country to rebrand itself And if there's one country that could use some good publicity It's Russia The month long competition is expected to bring more than a million people to Russia and attract more than three billion television viewers worldwide. A global sporting event of this scale is the perfect stage for a host nation to promote itself to the world, to boost its image. Vladimir Putin is desperate for the world to see only the positive images coming out of his country. You can get to know Russia A unique country with a long history and a rich culture Not bad, not bad at all Weet that dough. Love B. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I like this new hospitable side of Putin, you know? Yeah, he's like if the Travagal guy had a history of shooting down airplanes, you know? Yeah. It's a cool mix But I understand why Putin is so excited for Russia to be hosting the World Cup. Because you see, as a South African, I saw how hosting the tournament gave our country an opportunity to change our image. right? Before the World Cup, when people thought South Africa, they thought crime aids racism Then, thanks to the World Cup, now when you think of South Africa, you think of this You see? No more racism. huh? Yeah And by the way, before you judge us, we may blow voovuzllas, but you guys elected one. So chill, all right? Yeah. I chill Now to most people, Vladimir Putin is already beyond redemption. He annexed Crimea, he meddled in the US elections, and worst of all, he bit Beyonce and framed Sanal Lathan. But that doesn't mean that Russia won't give an image rehab its best shots Russia's singing granes are on a mission give Russia a friendlier face for the World Cup. These bubbly Babuskas have penned a World Cup anthem and produced a pop video to go with it. The message to foreign football fans, you have nothing to fear from Russia. I won't scare you, Anna says, I'll hug you, I'll kiss you. I'll sing and dance for you U Okay, now I'm scared. A little turned on, but mostly scared Yeah, because it feels like these super friendly Russian grannies are trying a little too hard. You know? Like the nicer they are to me, the more worried I am that it's all a trap and she's just gonna push me in an oven at the end And those human nesting dolls may have seemed a little over enthusiastic But at least at least they know how to basically friendly. Because apparently the rest of Russia has to take classes Russians will even smile at you. Ahead of the World Cup, train conductors here have been taught to forget the frowns and give foreigners big shiny smiles to match the big shiny new stadiums. I don't know, man I feel like the only thing worse than a non smiling Russian is a smiling Russian. this is smile. Yes. I show teeth, ye And then when do I bite? No, no, no, no. There's no biting. Why show teeth It' no bitite So look, on the face of it, Russia is trying to project a friendly image, but unfortunately, there is a dark side of their country that they can't cover up. For instance, it's been reported that gay men who are kissing in public will be reported to the police. And I'm assuming gay women kissing must report directly to Vladimir Putin. There's also been a rise in Russian fans singing racist chants whichich wouldn't be a problem if y'all just kept the vivullas. Oh, and as for freedom of the press, it's safe to say that you probably shouldn't say anything. as journalists from the BBC recently found out It is the increasingly paranoid controlling side that's clearly there. behind the makeover for the World Cup. The whole time we've been here in Nichneate seems there's been somebody following us, at least one car, sometimes three. Minutes after we met local opposition activists, There was this The pair at the door said they'd come from state television to interviewers, but we hadn't told anyone we'd be here. Yes, we are here to do interview. Now please speak directly into microphone. Now I show teeth. a moment to talk about the World Cup It's the world's biggest soccer tournament. on Every four years, the best players from the best countries gather to compete until one team is declared champion of the world, or until someone kicks the ball through the neighbor's window and we all run home Now, Because I'm from the world, I love the World Cup. So let's catch up on everything happening in Qatar with a new installment of our World Cup coverage The World Cup is being hosted by Qatar, a middle Eastern country with a deep and rich history of having oil. And if you've been following the news, you know that there's been some controversies over Qatar hosting the World Cup, you know likeike did Qatar offer bribes to FIFA to be the host? Did Qatar exploit migrant workers to build the soccer stadiums? Are we pronouncing Qatar right Is Qatar or is it Qatar, or is it Qatar? And if we mumble it, do you think they'll notice? All of these are questions But one of the biggest controversies. guitar has been the fact that they have very strict laws prohibiting same sex relationships And these anti gay policies are causing some tension on the pitch Amid the cheers of World Cup fans, the controversy is simmering. It's over the host country Qatar and other nations treatment of LGBTQ people. Rainbow imagery a sudden flashpoint after FIFA demanded the captains of seven European teams not wear this armband in support of LGBTQ causes Inisting the captains wear FIFA sanctioned bands. The team captains of several countries say they will not be wearing the rainbow colored one love arm bands as they had intended after FIFA threatened to give players yellow cards just for doing so. After receiving two yellow cards, of course, a player will face a one match suspension. That's right, The captains of seven European teams planned to show their support of the LGBTQ community by wearing rainbow armbands. then When FIFA threatened them with yellow cards They scrapped the idea which, in my opinion shows that you're not the ally you claim to be Right You're just like, hey, I support your right to live free from persecution unless I get a warning in a game where I kick a ball, then I'm out. you gays are on your own. I'm just saying that's a yellow card. I mean It's like a yellow, it' not even like you're out. J just a warning and you're like, yeah, no,, no, I ca', I tried By the way, the rainbow band has gott to be hard for the referees too. You know, that's risky because the referees are out there and they're like yellow card. Red card. Oh wait, we just started a rainbow. No Take me away A little crazy story as well. If you happen to be in China watching the World Cup, you probably are missing some things because on the government TV network, you'll barely see any footage of the fans at all Yeah, because China doesn't want its citizens to see people from every other country enjoying themselves without wearing masks Because they they're like they just don't want them to know that that's possible You know it sounds crazy but it' the same way Canadian TV censors their footage should it'll never show fans behaving rudely. because then Canadians will be like, wait, other people are telling others to off. We didn't know we could do that But maybe my favorite part of the World Cup is seeing how people from different parts of the world find ways to yell at each other. Be remember, a lot of the teams have coaches who are not from their country. like for instance, Saudi Arabia's coach is actually French. He doesn't speak Arabic But the Saudi translator doesn't speak French. So when the coach got mad at the team's performance in the first half He had to yell at them in English so that the translator could yell at them in Arabic