Iran Conflict and Oil Heist Claims

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The Nixon reference Oh the last time the next one, the flu was treated with leeches. No I know it's been a long time. Look at me But we're all excited here. Everyone in New York is rooting for the Kicks. Well almost everyone. Abuse that's piling up online for Elmo. After he tried to be neutral about the NBA finals, a Sesame Street star posted Elmo hopes both teams have fun You should kidding me Elo Today's Sesame Street is brought to you by the letter B for you're a bitch Early, Elmo's fellow New Yorkers responded to his wavering with our trademark grace and understanding. New Yorkers didn't like that. They leashed fury on him, blasting Elmo as a traitor, telling him to pick a side. The city's transportation department even threatened donon't make us take this down, bro Popy ellmo. You're going to make the New York Department of Transportation leap into action and take that sign down ten to twelve years from now Elbo's not going to be the game, but it is a hot ticket. So much so, even the president of the United States has Nick's fever. He's dyed his face, Nick's orange and And the back of his hands ms, let's say purple. The president's going to be attending the game this evening and New Yorkers couldn't be happier. I swear to God, this New York everyverybody f for Trump,.ay I'm not gl.r. We're gonna boo that. B of you, bro You know, in New York, no matter what your race, color or creed, well, we all sound just a little Italian Still, as a New Yorker and a Nicks fan, like the rest of us, he's probably been in a great mood this weekend because of the series. and he's looking forward to the game. He' depress is Crooked.ress And so is ABC and CBS and CNN. but mister P.' one sided Crookut network. All right. Let's call all it quits because I've had enough. Thank you Darling. Have a good day. mister P Holyash, Storming out 'cause he didn't like the question now You could view this as the hissy fit of an incredibly fragile man baby whose paper thin skin can't handle venturing out of the sycophantic embrace of his tongue bathing acolytes. or U Actually, I don't know how else you could doal it. It really is just that. It's sad. It's very sad It's sad because the interview with Kristen Welker of Meet the Press began as more of a RomC meet cue. As we're having this conversation, we can hear a little bit of rain. No a lot of rain. A lot of rain. Is that wind or what? If you like pina colada A getting caught The rain is sweet as long as it's not accompanied by scary sky booms. Hear that the sound of Thunder, lightning. Pople will understand. We're in a farm Sure, your city slickers with your lack of rain and trans weather, whatever you have on there When did Trump go to his stylist and go, hey Give me the Hugh Grand Upaumpa Trump was having a lovely time. So how did it go from look at us having a wonderful conversation in the rain to you and the network you wrde in on Because the interview began, like so many other ones for Trump, reasonable question, ridiculous answer. Okay, fine. Is this a war as long as there's a naval blockade in place? Well, we have a blockade. It's been extremely effective and we'll see things like you've never seen the oil will go down. The stock market already, as you know, it's h an all time high I don't consider that a war, but if you want to define it as such, I guess you can Well how do you define it? I don't define it at all. I don't think about it. I just do what I have to do Sure, why not? I believe it was William Tcum to Sherman, who said War is hell, I guess, I don't really think about it. But then we get to a moment when the heartland rain swept Romcom becomes a man trapped in a barn with his worst nightmare, a woman who won't stop asking pertinent questions. mister President, one of your consistent campaign promises was no new wars. What changed because you insisted no new wars P I can guarantee no war. Bullshit. Listen All of us who live through his campaign know that he made that of a centerpiece. He said this. U Trump, we will have no more wars And he also saidved this? I'm not gonna start a workm to stop wars. Of course, he also said I'll keep you out of wars. So no wars again We won't have wars again This reporter on this day had the temerity to mention to Donald Trump that, well, actually, he did say that all the time. But you said it over and over again shit She just lit the fuse on the bullshit box In the midst of the greatest stock market in history, in the midst of the most successful country, ten, nine, eight. A couple of years ago, we were a dead country. now we have the hottest country anywhere in the world. Seven, six, five. You know I gave farmers last tri twenty eight billion dollars because China took advantage of other people And you know paid for it, China. Four, three, two. I built a thousand miles of wall on our southern border The election was It was a dirty election. it. The fail safe in case of journalism break glass. The Eie pen, in case you've been stung by reality, but finally, in this instance, when he went to the rigged election, oh, sweet Jesus, finally, his universal get out of interview card didn't work. Now presented evence happening now California. R. Right now, it's L look at what's happening in California to that Where's the evidence? Trump's fail safe failed too safe And now he's left with but two options. One, to reckon with the fact that his claims of a twenty twenty stolen election have never survived even the slightest of legal scrutiny, and that despite having six years in his own Jice department at his Beck and call, he has never presented a shred of credible evidence or even a theory of a credible case as to how this twenty twenty election was rigged Or he could do his second option Smoke bomb. That's call a questest because I've had enough. Thank you, Darling. Have a good day We all know Trump's not actually going to leave the building becausecause it's raining out N There' you know. Moisture is the natural enemy of the North American comb overver. But this is where Kristen Wolker nearly undoes all of the good work she did with one of the worst pleas in the history of journalism. mister President, let's please, I traveled all the way to Wisconsin Can't leave, sir. I was in business partass mrter President, please, Wisconsin, Wheel of Fortune is on an hour earlier here. These people are savages. Their Chinese restaurants only serve Sijiuan. No Cantonese to be found. We'll all die of consumption But you know what Maybe finally this moment, give journalists permission to not back down, to not just leave it there and move on, and to finally be honest about Trump's inability to be challenged in the moment. I spoke with President Trump on Saturday and we both acknowledgeed the complications during the interview osed by the rain. But you were inside Challenge from the rainat. No. Donald Trump was not thrown off by the ambient noise during the interview. In fact, ambient farm rain is the least disruptive noise environment. He conducts interviews in theseese are real clips of his interviews that we have not edited the audio on at all.ter . This but there. Th the ones are real. he wasn't agravated by the rain. Donald Trump didn't storm out because of the rain. He stormed out because he was challenged, not because he was distracted. So maybe it's time we stopp making excuses for that man in order to preserve access to his constant bullshit. He agreed to sit down with me for another Met the press interview Thank you Picture this. It's late at night and you're scrolling through your feeds When all of a sudden you see it That one product that you've been looking for. You click on the link, add to cart, Maybe even shop around a little more before finally hitting checkout. As you're filling in your address, you realize you don't have your card anywhere near you That's when you see it that purple pay button that has all your information saved, making checkout as simple as a simple tap on your screen. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world, and ten percent of all e commerce in the US. from household names like Jim Shark It's aviator nation The brand's just getting started. What if people haven't heard of my brand Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run emails and social media campaigns Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you easasy to create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling Best yet Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything. from managing inventory to international shipping processing returns and beyond. It's time to turn those what ifs into withith Shopify today Sign up for your one dollar per month trial today at shhopify. com slash daily Show Go to shhopify. com slash daily showow Shopify d. com slash daily show Last night was game three of the NBA finals, and I know I know the Kicks loss was hard on New Yorkers, but let's take the high road, okay? and acknowledge the MVP who won it for the Spurs. Game three referee Mark Davis. Dude What was that? I mean, don't get me wrong, I think it's great that the NBA let someone watch their first game ever right from the court. but you do realize the B and B ball doesn't stand for blindball bitch, right? So we're gonna be nice, okay? In fact, we all chipped in together to get you a gift card to Lenscrafters, you blindball bitch Still, this was the first finals game in New York in twenty seven years When the celebrities came out, you had Timothy Chalamay, Derek Jeter, DJ Callid looking at his phone. Ben Stiller, Spike Lee, DJ Callid still looking at his phone. JayZ, Larry David, and DJ Callid showing Sat Joe something on his phone. What are you doing, man? Your court side at the finals, unless you were Googling how to go down on your wife, pay attention in attendance last night was the only New Yorker who spends more time in court than the Kick, President Donald Jumpshot Tump. Oh You were there too. Okay. And The city gave him a very New York welcome. Whoa, have some respect for the commander in chief. That's President Pussy to you Do you know what it means to have every single person in New York booing you? Even a guy taking a shit on the subway will have one New Yorker cheering him on What can I say? I'd love to see a man comfortable in his own skin Ten years later, we're still married yeah, all that incessant booing, he must have been devastated. It was certainly amazing. It was It was, I think mostly cheers Hey cheers. I guess the DOJ redacted all the booze before they hit his ears. The whether you like that Trump was there or not, he is a lifelong Kicks fan, so he wasn't going to let some haters stop him from enjoying every second of the game. During the game, President Trump appeared to fall asleep B ir, you can't sleep through the game. You're the president, not game three referee Mark Davis.. Mark, I hate you so much. I hope every time you microwave something, it's just a little bit cold in the middle But let's move on from New York to the only other city in the world Los Angeles. Because Trump was also having a bad night there. O major shake upp in the race to be mayor of Los Angeles. Reity TV star Spencer Pratt, the Republican who was endorsed by President Trump, was running second for a very long time, but he felled to third place as the rest of the primary votes started coming in. President Trump, now raising unsubstantiated claims of voter fraud, posting on true social ot possible for Spencer Pratt to have lost the LA runoffs after the big lead he had, rigged elections. They're cheating on the elections. Theres what do you have evidence All I have to do look All I have to do is look All you have to do is look, people, it's right there in front of you. I know it sounds easy, but for Donald Trump, it's getting harder and harder these days In curosity, do Republicans have any actual evidence for this rigging? What evidence is there to prove that there was gg? I don't Some of these efforts are so diabolical and so far upstream it is impossible to prove. The fact that there is no evidence is the evidence. See, seeee, voter fraud isn't about what you can prove up here. It's about what you feel in here. and what you can pull out of here It ten some time to get where they are, but that doesn't mean it's rigged. Also, I'm sure they're going to finish the vote counting any minute now. California has a lot of rules that make this very, very slow. They have a complicated system where if somebody does a mail in vote that is mailed before actual election day, it can be counted over the next seven days. Nearly a week after election day, the state's most populated county says it still about three hundred fifty five thousand bail in ballots to process. Holy shit, you have that many ballots left to count It taking so long, California. Are you counting the ballots? Are you having tantric sex with them? Look, California, I know you want to make sure everyone gets a chance to vote, but the longer you take with the ballots, the more you open up the door to mistrust in the process. That being said, Republicans, you guys can't just go around screaming something is rigged every time you lose. takeake the L with dignity and pride and honor, which is something that game three referee Mark David wass never When exploring live streams on whatnot from a buyer's perspective, it becomes instantly clear why this platform is climbing straight to the top of the app store. Loging into a live stream to source some name brand apparel, the immediate takeaway is the community experience. 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Perfect Hang on, what's this? Well, he's good for a C of Pepsi too. Incredible! What to finish. Sensational combination. Look at the delight on his face. There's no doubt about it. It just tastes better Match days deserve Pepsi. Food deserves Psi. Grab a pack of Pepsi Zero suugar for today's match Poetry in motion Let's start with Melania Trump, first lady and woman who just slipped poison into James Bond's Martini. Yesterday at the White House, Melania hosted an AI event, continuing the long tradition of first ladies in tech, from when Eleanor Roosevelt sets a high score at guitar hero five to when Nancy Reagan debuted the first suucking machine And Melania was so excited about AI, she even did an impression of it. Today is about opening doors When the doors open, passions flow. Courage blossoms And dreams are realized AI inspires. Use this chapter of your life to seal away with your dreams Sil away to the chapter of your life on the rocket ship of your Crage as you blossom into the stars What was the prompt to write that speech? Chat GPT, giveive me metaphor. No, give me all metaphors to be fair, this isn't just some one off thing Melania is doing. She's been into dystopian technology for a while now AI is extending the conceptual in ways never dream of before. AI will serve as the underpinning of every business sector in our nation. Robots hold steady hands in the operating room. Movie characters Scras fashion Music, art the entire ecosystem All with AI The shift from soldiers to machines is already underway. Autonomous helicopters Swarming drones, fighters less jets and autonomous bombers are on the way. The robots are here The robots are here I you to join us. I mean them, them Delete previous sentence Let's move on from the terrifying wars of the future to the terrifying W of the present, where the ceasefire in Iran is starting to get a little less cease and a little more fire Tehran and the U. S. trading blows now, Iran's downing of an American helicopter prompting a fiery U S. response We're trading blows again, this is not good. By the way, fun fact, trading blows was a setting on Nancy Reagan's d suucking machine It's a good one happen Eactly. Officials say an Iranian drone brought down a U.S. Apache helicopter patrolling the strait. The pilots rescued in a first of its kind operation by an unmanned surface vessel, a drone boat Wait a minute. the pilots were hit by a drone and then rescued by another drone Am I crazy or were we warned about this? The robots are here ful mystery, You were right. I am sorry I ever doubted you. Delete previous insults It's crazy that this war is not wrapped up already. What is the president doing that's more important than ending this conflict? The Trump family is promoting this week's UFC fight at the White House by selling gold commemorative coins. The Freedom two hundred fifty silver and gold medallions feature Trump's face and are being marketed as a collaboration between the UFC and the Trump organization Ending the war is important, but a collab with UFC. I mean, that doesn't come along every day. Although I'm not really sure that a coin is the right way to commemorate a UFC fight. It seems like the kind of thing you commemorate with a tramp stamp I love when I can use a photo myself on the show. But a coin seems a little weird like a weird fit for UFC bros, doesn't it? The only thing I love more than fighting is cherishing sweet memories with decorative coinage Okay, if I was a blood sport loving coin collector, I'd be willing to pay what ten, maybe fifteen dollars for this thing. Let me just take a sip of water while I hear how much it costs. The price for the coins ranges from two hundred and fifty bucks to as high as twelve thousand dollars Letally drink Ebion Sorry I wasn't paying attention. What was the price? twelve thousand dollars. What Does it come with a used T to civic assic Donald Trump, No amount of money is too small for him to try to griff someone out of. The guy will skim off two billion dollars with a global crypto scheme one week, and the next'll try to steal your uncle's beer money with a coin that's got his face on it. And by the way, why does a coin commemorating a UFC fight have to have Donald Trump's face on it? Who designed this thing The site says they are all designed by President Trump himself. Trump. I know that makes sense Study and play. Come together on a Windows eleven PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the unreal college deal, everything you need to study and play with select Windows eleven PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft three hundred sixty five Pmium and a year of Xbox Gamepass Ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller Lear more at windows d. com slash student offffer. Law Supplies last ends june thirteth turns at aka. mS slash college PC When you finally find your thing You want the whole world to know about that thing So you use a thing called Canva. make it an even bigger and better thing whether you want to create flyers for that thing. Make presentations for that thing, or design merch for that thing So people can see your thing, feel your thing, love your thing. The next thing you know, it's a thing. Canva, the thing that makes anything a thing The the mhing. That's This morning the Kicks mounting the greatest comeback in NBA finally history. Ces fires up the raad You watch parties around N breaking out into bedline. N N and M fans erupting even in the skies.. It was amazing. although those passengers shouldn't celebrate too hard, Weemby could swat you out of the sky. Oh my God, winning in the final moments after being twenty nine points behind wasasn't just a win for the Kicks. it was a win for allers of us who like to put things off until the last minute. It like I'm not gonna do my taxes, but just wait until I've got two seconds left on the clock. It all just goes to show you never, ever give up on your dreams. Unless your dreams are to beat the Kicks in the finals 'cause that shit ain't happening were that excited, The guy who actually won the game must have been losing his damn mind. You just hit the game winning shot in an NBA finals game in front of your home crowd. How does that feel? It feels cool. I mean, everyone's pretty excited. I'm excited too. I mean, I really wanted to be a dancer, but you know, basketball's cool too