Jackass Stunts and Male Camaraderie

You're listening to comomedy Central O the most trusted journalists at Cedy Center. It's America's only source for new This is the Daily Show with your host, Jordan Cleber We got so much to talk about tonight. Trump enjoys an after dinner peace deal. Republicans are jealous AF and today was the Nick parade. We said triumph to insult comic dog there. But did he poop on it? Stay tuned to find out But first, let's get into the headlines Let's start with the big news of the day. Now not the Ns parade. We'll get to that later. How many times do I have to tell you, kids, you can't have your Ns parade until you finish your Iran war, Okaykay? Speaking of that, great news. The Iran warar is finished in the gilded halls of Versailles, China, President Trump marking the end of the G seven summit by signing a memorandum of understanding with Iran. I was signing the peace trreaty. It felt more like paying the bill after dinner. Did aon get the jalapeno poppers? 'ause didn' I didn't have any of the poppers. I shouldn't have to pay for half the poppers Although I can understand why Trump didn't want a bigger ceremony than this. if you look at the details of this deal, it's not really that great for him. The agreement's most controversial provision, a three hundred billion dollars framework for the reconstruction of Iran, and the return of over one hundred billion dollars in assets that were frozen by the US. In exchange, Iran must allow toll free passage through the Strait of Hormuz for sixty days which existed before the war. Three hundred billion dollars. I mean, how did that happen You know what? Wait a minute. can we Can we zoom in there for a second? Can we zoom in? There it is They got it with that automatic gratuity. You gotta watch out for that So basically, we go back to where we were before the war, except Iran gets four hundred billion dollars. To add insult to injury, the Ayatlla is using all that cash to build himself a sweet ass ballroom.. You know what? Maybe it's worth giving Iran a big old bribe if it means completely eliminating their military apparatus. He conceded yesterday that it will not completely eliminate their military apparatus idn't they have a whole ballistic missile arsenal that we were trying to dismantle president saying it would be unfair for Iran not to have a ballistic missile arsenal while their neighbors in the Gulf do. If other countries have them, it's a little bit unfair for them not to have some Slow down there, Miss Rachel. I don't know if sharing as carrying applies to ICBMs. Okay, All right, I'm a bit confused here. I'm trying to remember Trump's position on all of this before the treaty We are going to destroy their missiles and raise their missile industry to the ground. It will be Totally again Obliterated Okay, okay. That sounds bad. Maybe that was taken out of context. Can we play the rest of the sentence it will be totally again Obliterated unless it's a little bit unfair. Okay, okay. Yes, thank you. S, and you people doubted his dedication to equity and inclusion The fact that Donald Trump started a war that ended badly for him is not really a surprise. What's a little shocy is that conservatives are calling him out on it. The details that I've seen so far look like look awful. I don't want to see theocratic Islamists who want to kill us made stronger. C mean the skeptical column? They're going to recover everything we've taken away from them. It's much bigger than a mistake better off than they were before the hostilities began. Wow That assessment is brutal for Trump. I mean, the man who went to his barber and said, I want my head to look like the reservoir tip of a condom thinks you have bad judgment , mister President, you need to bring the skeptics onto your side, and I'm sure you'll marshal all of your rhetorical wit and persuasive techniques to do so a furious response from the president. This is what he wrote before Dawn These fools who think I haven't been tough enough on Iran. They're just either jealous, bad people orr stupid Masterful, sir. Masterful. Oh o Another powerful rebuttal on par with the Gs. I believe it was Cicero, who said, you fugly sluts wish you were thick like me For more on the reaction to the Iran deal, let's go live to our senior foreign correspondent, Josh Johnson. Jh Gys, I gotta say this does not sound like the deal Trump wanted. It's sure a shit doesn't, Jordan. This this deal sucks, bigig old dononkey Dong. all right? This deal is the John Travolta in a beeret of deals. It doesn't look good. and it's making a lot of people say, what the f I even looking at? I can see you're mad. We're all mad, Josh. But I think there is a good lesson here about the arrogance thinking we can just tear up a deal and get a better deal We really sometimes just need to live with the deal that we have. Sure We could do that or I could tear this deal up right now and go get us a better one. No, no. no, Josh. No, no, no, that's exactly what we just did. Don't tear up the deal. I can't hear you over the. No, no, Josh no, no, Josh no H it. don't tear it up Sorry, dude, to quote Nally and Bruia, you're a little late It's already torn to around right now and I'm gonna get us a new deal. B Josh, Josh. No, Josh No, don't, Josh Is anybody eyes on Josh? Josh? Can you hear me? Okay. Josh? Are you?ait you Are you okay? Josh? Are you winning, Josh? Are you okay? Are you okay? That sounded Jatch what happened What up, Jordan. I underestimate how jack they were under those roads. Y. Are you okay? Do I look okay? To quote Natalie andbruia. I am cold and I am shameed lying naked on the floor. And this new deeal is even worse. All right, now we gotta give them twice as much money and I strip had to give them Nebraska. I am so sorry, Nebraska Y'all going have to move out by the end of the month. Also, I'm sorry, Jordan, as part of the deal, they get to watch you shower. What? Why is that part of the deal? Don't worry it's not sexual. They just never seen anyone that tall try to wash his feet before You do wash your feet, right? yes. I mean sometimes, I mean they They're far away. It doesn't, goddam it, Josh. This is exactly the cycle I was talking about avoiding. Dying You right, you're right. I thought I could get a better deal and I couldn't. and now they get to see you naked, which has gotta feel like a violation. And this deal is so much worse, which is why I'm gonna go back over there and get us a better deal. No, No. No, Josh. No, how could you forget the lesson just this fast? No Shut up. All right. Iran can suck my nuts. All right. Last thing those musly Iranians will expect is to see me again. All right? No, Josh, Josh, Josh. come back. You're gonna make it worse. C C. Is that a catch? That like Josh. Can you hear me Tell them I don't love the shower thing, Josh. Josh, o o. Oh boy. they got me bad, all right? They got me so bad. To quote Nalally and Bruia I twist it, my nipple smooth off.. That is not a Natalie andbrllia song. My head spinning, I can't remember a single Natalie andmbrllia lyric. Okay. Is the new deal even worse? Stop spinning, Jordan. I'm still, Josh, what's the new deal? Well It isn't all bad. Some of it's extremely bad. We owe them a trillion dollars a month We I give them all our bombs, ballistic, nuclear, bath bombs too Also, they get a fourth round draft pick in the NFL. And we had to legally change your name from Jordan Clepper to Captain Bch Tipz. Why would you agree to that? They wanted Dpy bitch tits. I got you a promotion? No, no, no no. G back in there, go back in there and negotiate that. Go get that on the deal. No, no, I learned my lesson. This cycle of violence has to end. I've lost a nipple every time I've gone to Iran. I'm ready to accept the deal we have. You were right the whole time. And I thank you for your wisdom, bitch tits. That's captain bitch tits to you, Josh Johnson. Josh Johnson, everybody We come back, try up, goes to the next ray, Don't go away I finished a five K in ninety fourth place. rightight after a man wearing jeans, they still gave me a medal. I don't want a reward for doing. I want a reward for dominating. Like Daily Prize Metra, I'm Bet three hundred sixty five. I play for free and win real rewards, like up to five thousand dollars in cash weekly Ili like that Joker in Denim. B three hundred sixty five. Winning is everything. Gambling problem call one hundred gambler. twentyenty one plus only must be physically present in New Jsey and Pennylvania Tas and seass apply It A historic day for New Yorkers. That's right. They opened a Starbucks at sixty seventh and third. Finally, a place to enjoy Starbucks in New York City. But now that I think about it, there is something else going on downtown. The chants echoed off lower Manhattan skyscrapers. Confetti rained from above New York transformed into a sea of blue and orange for the Nick's first ever ticker tape parade through the Cyon of Hoes. A celebration fifty three years in the making T three sixty three years The last time New York won the recipe for Katza's pastrami sandwiches still included actual cocaine the weed shops that used to be vape shops were cigar shops But it was a beautiful scene of happappy fans. And of course, our champions like Jalen Brunson, OG Anenobbe and Carl, Anthony Towns, all although my favorite moments It was when number thirteen, Tyler Kolek went out to meet fans and cops didn't seem to realize he was a member of the team I will say, as a regular tall guy that's always asked if I play basketball, it's nice to finally see a basketball player get mistaken for just a regular tall guy Plus, it sure is a change seeing a white guy getting unjustly stopped by the cops Happy juneteenth, everybody But if you ask me, the real MVP of the parade wasn't even a Nick player. Whick That's a nice effort, but there's really no chance this guy is going to make it through that crowd. He's better off just throwing the chick fililet bag up and hoping OG Anenobbe can tip it to the customer. Unfortunately, because space was limited, not everyone had a chance to make it to the parade in person. So to give everyone a fire hydrant level perspective, we sent Triumph the Inult Comic Dog to check it out. I'm here in New York City with thousands of elated New Yorkers from all walks of life, all here for one reason. None of them have jobs 's go G New York, go New York go New York New York! I'm surrounded by the o. Nice, this guy gets it. Alright, we got some real Nick fans here, yes.. Oh hold on a second. I don't know about this. This looks like a bandwagon fan. It's only been a fan for about sixteen months. Somehow for sure. All right, have fun. Thank. Have a good time Vallas. I hope you're wearing underpants because there are children here. New York next finally, right? Now that the playoffs are finally over, are you looking forward to getting back to not having anything to talk about with your dad? Yeah Listen, baby, you know what my nickname at the dog park is? Oh what is it? It's Jayalen Brunson Because I'm undersized, but I know how to finish at the h. Oh Sorry, you didn't hear that. Yay! guysys you arere with the canine unit, yes.. Here he is. Oh, look at you, good boy. Good boy. Wow, he is. You're a good boy. You would have called him banano for a flavorant, wouldn't you? Yes. Haspago Haspo You have to feel great today. I mean, you guys have been Nicks fans since there were white guys in the starting lineup. Let me guess this is the best thing to happen to you guys since rent control right Repeat that for me. My mayor is not Muslim. My mayor is not Muslim My bagel is Jewish. My bagel is Jewish. My hair is white. My hair is white. I lost my sex drive. Lichion five! Y! My bus is on fire. My bus is on fire. My referees are liars. My referee is on G! St check my hard drive. We got a hard drive. It' inside it! Be In the old days there was a ticket tape parade. they would a stock markarket ticket tape. Yes,. And then they don't use ticker tape anymore. So this year, they just shredded the Epstein fires. Night see you couride at the finals. It's like the NBA said, How can we make Gbanana look even younger and taller? Put it next to Jon Stewart. Beina Servaso. enjoy the parade? I'm enjoying it, but I'm worried. I hear the NBA is still bringing reps out here. They're trying to get Carl Anthony Towns to foul out of the parade Mitch! Nobody foul him. Nobody foul Mitch. Look at this, She's wearing one of those Taylor Swift shirts.. You think she's a real fan? Absolutely. She was in Cleveland two weeks ago. Oh triumph, my darling. I'm a fucking celebrity too. No, you're a dog. This is a disgrace How did you feel about Taylor Swift being there Everyone's afraid to say anything. I'm not afraid? Yes you are. trium. I'm as big a celebrity as Suzie Esman, right? I can march in the parade too, yes This parade is so loud, even Donald Trump couldn't sleep through it. Don't go away fininished a five K in ninety fourth place. Right after a man wearing jeans, they still gave me a medal. I don't want a reward for doing. I want a reward for dominating. Like Daily Prize Metro, I'm Beth three hundred sixty five. I play for free and win real rewards, like up to five thousand dollars in cash weekly. Unlike that Joker in Denim. Beth three hundred sixty five. Winning is everything. Gambling problem call one hundred gambler. twentyenty one plus only must be physically present in New Jery and Pennsylvia Tas and seasa supply I finished a five K in ninety fourth place. rightight after a man wearing jeans, they still gave me a medal. I don't want a reward for doing. I want a reward for dominating. Like Daily Priz Metro, I'meth three hundred sixty five. I play for free and win real rewards, like up to five thousand dollars in cash weekly Ili like that Joker in Denim B Bet three hundred sixty five. Winning is everything. Gambling problem call one hundred gambler. twenty one plus only must be physically present in New Jery and Pennsylvania Tas and CZ supply Jackass franchisese new film is Jackass Best and Last. Please welcome Johnny Knoxville You can feel the gutle reaction in the audience when they see when they see just nut smash, you can just feel it in a room. It really warms my heart. This film is great. Can I tell you right off the bat, The first scene in this film, the first sceneilm is a scene that didn't air. MTV wouldn't let it air. that you filmed where you shoot yourself at close range with Yeah.'s it's quite frankly shocking and wild to watch. Like when you when you watch that, do do you recognize that twenty seven year old Jonynaxxille? Yeah, because I had just had a daughter And I was I terrified how I was going to support her. and that was my best guess. Like I was throwing everything against the wall, mostly myself. Yeah. You'ike if I take a gun to my chest, maybe I can get m of this. It doesn't make any sense, but I was I was that's just that's where my inclination sent me. Is it right you kind of inspired at the time, Hunter Thompson was an inspiration to you and sort of that participatory journalism? That's how I started out like a half ass Hunter S. Thompson. Yeah, you know. that and I seen a reporter testing pepper spray on himself on the news. I'm like, Well, that's funny. How about if I do the pepper spray stun gun, taser gun and then I shoot myself It's like this guy doesn't take it nearly far enough. Yeah. That's a good start. It's remarkable watching this film and been a fan of the Jackass franchise since the beginning. And I'm curious like What is more What is more anxiety inducing? Like the getting hit in the balls or the anxiety about somebody hitting you in the balls while you're at work for a twenty four hour period is there, but honestly, those are the least of my problems Yeah. You know, because then there's, you know the The rockets or the blls you can handle the little nutsack taps. never feels good. No yeah. But it's better than the other. Yeah, I guess if you start with gun to the chest at some point you're like, you're not breaking a nutsack is not gonna be thing that breaks me. Which I did break not than that, but I broke The the gym the urethra Yeah, yeah But that was a long time ago. so Some of my earlier work. Well, this is what you sort of grapple with and talk about a little bit in this is that you've been doing this for for quite some time and you are all you're older gentlemen now. there's even stunts that happen here. There's a colonoscopies, theres there's a robot prostate exam. Y. I'm wondering if does age make jackasses a f uszz all Yeah, I guess so. It sure helped our footage. How do you sort of decide who's doing what you when you're planning this thing out? Um, well, everyone has their specialties. But Also, if someone's really draws a line, like I'm not doing that. Absolutely not doing that than Jeff makes them do business. Yeah, it's You can never say I'm not doing it because then you're just hurting yourself. The tension is part of it. Yeah. it's funny watch you know, you go to such extremes. And there's also such beauty and creativity in a jackass movie. I think what is so fun and surprising. And Something that I'm often amazed at with you You put yourself in difficult situations and sometimes you're undercover in situations. And it's beyond the craziness of it, you're able to keep a calm, whether you're dressed up as an older grandfather stripping in the middle of a strip club or you're getting getting arrested and having to stay in character and like. how do you keep that calm in those moments where people don't know what has happened The first time I ever did a prank, I laughed when I was trying to do the prank and it completely ruin the footage. And after that, I'm like, I've just just going Play it straight and be calm because otherwise, what are we doing? Yeah. I don't want to lose footage Yeah. So It's harder when the cops pull guns on you, but if that happens enough, you learn to deal with it. It happened like five or six times. And by the way, if a cop ever pulls a gun and tells you to stay down, take the note. That'ses. H things change? It's curious watching this note, like there's a throwback to when you guys kidn Brad Pit off the street. And I watch that now and I just can't imagine that happening in a world where people have cell phones constantly.. And yet thinking about the jackass viewer experience, what's so fun about it is seeing it with a group of people in a movie theater. L peopleople have access now on their phones to people doing extreme things, more intrimate portraits pererhaps like stunts on a more small scale level. as you guys have evolved with this and seen people copy you and trying to, you know work off of what you guys have sort of created, like what challenges do you see now that the technology has shifted Um Well You know, it did get harder for us as the years went on because You don't get smaller, you get bigger, the sets get bigger. We started out like a punk rock show. everyveryone riding around in a van together And then and now there's just trucks everywhere. So it was tough to keep it intimate U. So and as far as what everyone else is doing, it really doesn't aff us and how You know, it's We're Jackass is basically about Friendship U lotots of m nudity. Sure. Sometimes penetration. but it's about friendship. and I think that's where most people that's what they're missing and what they're doing. like we're It was a special I That does resonate. I think I know a lot of people who wouldn't expect to be Jackass fans who are brought in because they're like, o, these guys They like each other. They're laughing at each other. Part of watching jacket is watching something that is extreme or outlandish or also like beautifully childish. like that thing you wanted to do when you were young but didn't have the balls to do it and to see that. and then to see a group of other people enjoy that camaraderie. And it's curious. We have a lot of people out here talk about like the male loneliness epidemic And then you it's refreshing to watch something like Jackass where you see dudes hanging out and enjoying each other like our nude dude dudes. haveave you found the answer? Is Is Nut taps the answer to the male loneliness epidemic? There is usually nothing standing between me and my budd notot one stitch of clothing. and we have nothing to hide from each other. and we're very inclusive of everyone. We're just trying to make ourselves laugh, you know Oh. I don't know if we've hit on something, but that's what happened. I'd be remiss. I'm having my first colonoscopy in the next week. V. This what happens at we age And I can't think of a better person to ask if you have any advice For someone staring down their first colonoscopy. Oddly enough, I do. It's called Colonoscopy Olympics. Okay. You take your colonoscopy prep. I compete in a high jump. some hurdles. the long jump and Jhn Stewart can film it. That's okay. I may get a second opinion. But thank you very much. Jack As bestest and last will be in Theos J L. Jack As' podcast just launched today. Johnny Dockxstill. We'll take a quick break. We're right back after you This morning, the unusual approach from the Japanese government too address the string of bear attacks there. These are emergency response drills and you can see they include a human with a bear suit crawling around acting like he's getting shot. So I know it looks odd, but here at Sienna New Central, we are pro role playing. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Sh, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show Week nights at eleven, ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus Comedy Central podcast. finished a five K in ninety fourth place. Right after a man wearing jeans, they still gave me a medal. I don't want a reward for doing, I want a reward for dominating. Like Daily Priz Metro, I'meth three hundred sixty five. I play for free and win real rewards, like up to five thousand dollars in cash weekly I' like that Joker in denim B three hundred sixty five. Winning is everything Gambling problem call one hundred gamler. twenty one plus only must be physically present in New Jery Pennsylvania,as andZ supply I finished a five K in ninety fourth place. rightight after a man wearing jeans, they still gave me a medal. I don't want a reward for doing. I want a reward for dominating. Like Daily Prize Metra, I'm Bet three hundred sixty five. I play for free and win real rewards, like up to five thousand dollars in cash weekly I like that Joker in denim B Bet three hundred sixty five. Winning is everything. Gambling problem call one hundred gambler. twenty one plus only must be physically present in New Jersey and Pennsylvania, Tasason andZ supply