Memento Mori and Final Reminders

Welcome to the Daily Stoic podcast designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world. I'm Ryan Holiday. I'm an author. I have a bookstore here outside Austin, Texas, and I'm going to take you through my office today and show you a couple of things that I think explain how I work, how I think about what I do, and how I think about life . The most important reminder I have on my wall sits between two pictures of my kids here and here, I don't show their faces . But that's Dr. Oliver Saxe and behind him is a sign in his office that just said no. This is given to me by the sports psychologist, Dr. Jonathan Vader. You develop a career by saying yes to everything, but you can only keep a career by getting good at saying no to things. And he told me that there's something similar in baseball . He's a team psychologist for a bunch of baseball teams. They have a saying in the Dominican Republic for instance with baseball players that you don't walk off the island. You only get there by hitting by swinging at pitches. But once you get to the to the majors, you have to learn pitch discipline . You have to learn when not to swing. And so this is a reminder to me that it's really important as I sit here, I check my email, I'm working on stuff that I not only have to say no to be really good at my job, but that when I'm saying yes to stuff, I'm saying no to these two people who I've already promised my best time to, who I've already promised my best self to. Actually, I have another reminder of this that I keep here from the great Hugh Cloud. He sent me this in twenty twenty. It's a little drawing. It says like an asshole. I took him her it for granted. You got to remember that when you are saying yes to things, you are saying no to things and most importantly, when you say'reing no to things, Marx Russ talks about this in meditations, you are saying double yes to the things that actually matter. And I have two other kind of reminders to say no, these are kind of cool. This is a memo from the Truman administration . It's a this is the inter office communication the Secretary is writing. Since the president will be out of office when this celebration will be held, how do you think that we should answer it? Should we say that because of many similar requests, the president must ask to be excused. And then here it is underlined by Truman himself. It says the proper answer is underlined. They should say the president must ask to be excused. And then here's another one. I regret that I cannot comply with your request . It long has with my policy not to respond to questions. I received so many similar requests to yours that I could not keep up with all of them. I hope you will understand. It's signed Harry Truman. Actually I have a third one that someone gave me from Truman. It says here your, question will be answered in the book I am getting ready to publish as soon as possible. So you let the books do the answering for you. I think it's a pretty good policy as well I don't keep all my books in my office, but I keep some of them. These are all books for the book I am working on right now . Those are international editions of my books. Those are some signed books . These are all my philosophy books and here is biographies. Books are made out of books so I try to keep the books that I rely on or use the most here in the office. I keep most of my novels at home so I like to reread them . But part of the attraction of setting up this bookstore and office space was I told my wife, I'd take some of my books out of our house so you'd have a little more room. But I have books here balcony got civil war and war books here. These are books you can see from downstairs in the bookstore that you can't touch because they're just mine. Ebooks are nice. Audiooko bs are great, but I like books that I can keep on my shelf as trophies. I like to be able to go back to them, pick them up, to be able to refer to them. I like the ongoing relationship with the physical form. These are books that I've pulled off the shelf and used over and over and over again when I'm looking for something , going through my note cards. So these are my philosophy books over here. These are biographies . If I don't want to keep the book, if I have no interest in keeping it, it says something to me about why I was reading it in the first place . It all comes down to hiring. You gotta find the right people for your team and you got to bring them onard andb youo gotta onboard quickly. You know, just throwing up a job post in and hoping you get lucky. 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That's indeed dot com slash doick right now and support the show by saying you heard about it on this podcast indeed. com slash note terms and conditions apply . I keep some little note cards on my wall . One of which is kind of my wide. To me this is like a guiding principle that I want to think about. This says, am I being a good steward of Stoicism? Like I didn't invent the philosophy that I write about. It's not mine. I possess no ownership of it, but I am associated with it because of the success of the books, because of social media. I just try to remind myself that like somebody else will be sitting in this chair at some point, right? Somebody else will be associated with the philosophy in the future. That it's a long tradition. I think it's important that you take the job you do seriously, but not yourself. And I just try to remind myself that like, this isn't mine. I don't own it. I have to represent it as well as I can. I have to try to live up to it. My studios talks about fighting to be the person that philosophy tried to make you. That's what I'm doing here. This guides the kind of content I will and won't make the kind of products I will and won't make how, and when I publish my books, the effort that I put in, am I living up to the expectations and the standards of what I talk and write about? That's one of the things I want to think about. And then I have a couple more that sort of got me. I try to have a Y or a through line on each of the projects that I'm working on. Somehow this one got wet. This is Hemingway. It says, Do not worry. You have always written before and you will write again. All you have to do is write one true sentence , right? The truest sentence that you know. That was one project I was struggling with. Another one for Martha Graham Never be afraid of material. The material knows when you are frightened and will not help. This is I'm doing this work of nonfiction right now. Historical writing, which is not literature is subject to oblivion. That's Paul Horgan. This is from a different novelist. The sidelights on the life of every great man are interesting. It's a reminder to me to go down different rabbit holes. This is an Italian writer who, in our day, can penetrate the the hearts of ancients, who can bring life and light again to a mind long since removed in death, who can elicit their meaning? A divine task that not human. And it says, It is therefore my plan of interpretation first to write what I learned from the anci ents and when they fail me or when I find them inexplicit to set down my own opinion. I feel like that's kind of what I'm doing. And then here I have one. This is an exchange with me and the great general Mattis. I was writing him at some moment when I felt like the world was coming apart. He said John McCain used to joke to him that was always darkest just before it turned darker. Keep the faith, hold the line. So I try to have some like a sports team, I try to have reminders of the values and principles that I'm trying to live and write with. Okay, so this is it technically my office. We keep it in the studio because someone asked me about it on the podcast. In twenty seventeen , I was a producer on an album . I worked on the liner notes. I'm not good at music at all, but I was a producer on an album that won a Grammy. Like I literally went to the Grammy's, walked the red carpet, and then our album won. We went on stage and accepted it. They only gave us one Grammy and then you could apply for like a certificate. There are so many producers, they don't give everyone a grammy. And also there's two different grammy awards. There's like all the ones you see on TV and then there's a smaller ceremony for the hundreds of other grammys before. The point is I could have gotten this paper grammy and put it on the wall instead I was like, you know what? I'm going to get my own grammy and I'm going to say what it actually means. And so it says National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences Ryan Holiday, best large jazz ensemble album twenty seventeen. And then I says, When you die, this will go in the trash alongside all your other accomplishments. You know, it can be easy. My publisher sends me little plaques and things, right? Like this is this is from my UK publisher when I sold a million and a half copies in the UK, this is spring twenty twenty three. Like, I think it's cool. It's a cool accomplishment, but like, what are my kids gonna care about that? Maybe it's one of the ones they'll keep, but maybe it won't. Right here's a hundred thousand orders from Daily Stoics store there's my YouTube plaques. I guess my kids were vaguely impressed when I got YouTube plaques, so maybe they would actually keep those if something happened to me. But the point is when you achieve and accomplish things it's a very privileged problem to have, but the things start to stack up. Okay, you hit the best seller listen, then they send you a framed thing. Like I literally have more of them than I know what to do with. My wife does not want any of them in her house. And so I was just trying to remember as kind of a joke that like all these things are cool and it is cool to walk down the home and go, I did that. That accomplished that accomplished meant was a lot of work and there was payoff for it and that's great, but it's also a reminder that at the end of the day, not only is it junk at some level, it's forgettable. It doesn't mean as much as you think it means and that if that's why you did it, if that need to be recognized and remembered and celebrated for the thing, that was the motivating factor of the Stokes would say you're going to be sorely disappointed when you realize what it's actually worth, which is not much. So I sit in a little bit of magic every day. This is Joan Diddian's chair next door, I'll show you I also have Joan Diddian's table. She's from Sacramento, I'm from Sacramento. I just like objects with that have a story to them, something with a little bit of history and sacredness to them. And so it feels good to sit every day in the chair of someone who is one of the best to ever do it. I know it doesn't really mean anything. It doesn't convey any magic, but it went up for auction and I thought it was pretty cool. So it's not the most comfortable chair to be perfectly honest, but maybe there's a little stok lesson in that. Mark Schwelz would famously sleep on a hard mattress. I sit on his hard ass chair and I try to think about who sat in it before me. So I do all my research on note cards. I'm doing a book on Stockdale right now. These are the note cards from that. When I did my Four Virt bookuous, I printed out these note cards and for almost twenty years now I've kept a commonplace book in these note cards. Each book I do has note cards. So like this is the project I'm working on now and this stuff's here laid on the out table. This is the book I'm doing. This is the layout for the book. Every time I read a physical book, I go back through it. I'd put the ideas that I need to take out from it onto my note cards. And those note cards come with me when I'm traveling and I'm writing or those note cards sit on my desk here and I'm writing. So for me the note cards are the building blocks, the pieces of the puzzle that go into each book and I have one for each book here I'll show you in a store . This is future projects . Here's the courage book, here's the justice book , here's the discipline book . There's Ego's the enemy, wisdom books down there, but that's stillness , that's growth hacker, I think. Trust me, lions in here somewhere. So each one of the books is one of these boxes. And there's even a beautiful Joan Diddian essay called On Keeping a Notebook, where she talks about that she would keep note cards, not only when she's doing a script or a screenplay, but she would write down things that she found in the course of her life. And she talked about how a journal or a notebook is a way to keep on in touch with who you used to be, right? And sometimes when I go back through these note cards, some of these books like this one here. These are note cards. Some of these are twenty plus years old of just different notes that I've kept since I was in my early twenties , I pick up these cards and I see things that I took pains to write down how long ago and what was what I was thinking about, why I was thinking about it, why I decided to write down this note about dogs or the animals killed at Nero's games in Rome or this is Pliny. It's true that what he wrote will not be eternal or at least I didn't think so . Still he wrote them as if they would be a great line. These are notes about writing. This is Marshall, the Roman poet. Forgive me, it's not worth my while dying to earn your critical smile. Oh, here's Joan Diddian. That's so funny. People tend to forget that my presence runs counter to their best interests, she was saying as a journalist. And it almost always does. That is the one last thing to remember. Writers are always willing to sell somebody out. Maybe she wrote that down sitting in that chair, kind of crazy . So I have this print here. We actually made this for the bookstore a couple of years ago. I don't know if we still sell it, but it's a great line from Hemingway. It famously said that the first draft of anything is shit. And here it is sort of illustrated as an idea. It's very tempting easy to accidentally compare the thing you're in the middle of to something that's finished , either that you've finished or that somebody else has finished. And that's just not fair. That's not how it works. You have to remember that everything was terrible at some point. Everything was partially done at some point. Everything was a blank page at some point. And if you remember that first drafts are supposed to be crappy, you're supposed to be working stuff out on the page. I try to remember where this bookstore or daily stoic or the YouTube channel, where it was at the beginning, where it was for the first several years. You're getting better as you go . And this hyeroglass talks about the taste and talent gap. Often your taste is better than your talent in the early days of what you do or even in the early days of a project . And so you have to get comfortable being bad. You have to trust the process. And if you can't, you get stuck and that perfectionism becomes a kind of paralysis. Those high standards actually prevent you from getting better and better because you're so convinced that what you're doing right now isn't good. It's not supposed to be good. So I try to remember what a first draft is supposed to be, which is part of the process, a step along the way to getting to where I want it to go. Okay, so this pine cone, this is a pine cone from a lodge pole pine and it looks like an ordinary pine cone. That's because it's opened up. That's called a serotonous pine cone. It's covered in this waxy resin. For it to work as a pine cone is supposed to work, it has to be exposed to heat. I don't just mean like everyday heat. I mean like the heat from a forest fire. So basically , the thing that you would think would be the worst thing to happen to a tree, which is a fire is actually necessary for this tree to recreate for the next generation of trees to come. It is, to me, a perfect metaphor of both creative destruction and the idea that the obstacle is the way. You think you want to avoid adversity and difficulty, you don't want to be put to the fire, but in fact the fire is there to help you open up, to melt off that covering, to make new growth and new things possible . This is just a lovely reminder. I also think it's funny. I bought this. I've never actually seen a lodge pool pine in person that I know of. Some lady just sells these on Etsy. She puts the pine cones in the oven and they open up. I just think that's hilarious. So I bought a couple of these just as a reminder. So this is also to me a great embodiment of the stoic idea of a morphati, right? Mark Shurias talks about how what you throw on top of a fire becomes fuel for the fire, right? That it turns everything to flame and bright brightness and heat. It can also turn it into something beautiful and new and fresh This is a picture of me and my grandfather. I may be twelve or thirteen there . I had some other pictures. Let's see. I have some other pictures in my house and in my office of me as a kid my thera,pist told me I should do it. She says, you know, it's easy to lose touch with your inner child. And part of what we're trying to do as adults is heal that inner child, be a better parent to ourselves, so we can be a better parent to our kids. Because we so easily lose track of who that person was what they, looked like, what they felt like, what it was like to be five or six or fifteen. And those reminders are helpful to me. So I have a couple of those. And then it's also to me a reminder of the passage of time , how recent that was and also how long ago that was and that's a powerful reminder as well . Okay, so this is a reminder on the way up to the office . I took this from the creator of Perse. It says sense of urgency , which is his reminder that book. You don't want to rush things, but you also don't have unlimited time. To me that tension of Fistina Lente, like, make haste slow ly. And then also like hustle, hustle. I think about this going into like fulfillment and stuff, like how long are we gonna make people wait before we put their package in the mail? How long am I gonna wait to answer that email that I need to respond to. How long are we gonna wait until we ask the best for ourselves as Epictetus talked about? So a sense of urgency is something that's got to shape who you are and what you do. And that's one of our values here at D iscope . I have this chunk of a tombstone here to keep behind my desk. I used to keep this on the mirror in my bathroom, but we'd changed our bathroom and there wasn't space for it anymore. I don't know how this came to be sold on the internet. I don't want to know. I just know that at some point a dad, a parent, a living person, they passed away and this is all that remains from that memorial. It's a memento mori, right? The Stoics want to remind us that life is short, that life is unpredictable, that none of us are here forever. That's what momentum ry means. And in ancient art and in philosophy, these reminders are everywhere here ill'ustsr an ation by Salvador Dali of Montaine doing a memento morty staring at death for a second. The idea is that you reflect on your mortality, you put up things that humble you and remind you of the fragility and the shortness of life to give you perspective, to give you urgency, a sense of urgency, and that these reminders are important and powerful. And this is to me a reminder in the end of all the things that really matter to you as well . So anyways, that's my office and a dozen or so objects. I thought as I wrap up I'll give you Rapid Fire some other cool ones and maybe we'll do another video about this if you guys like it. What do we have here? This is the last page of Stephen Presfield's manuscript for Gates of Fire, which is pretty incredible. This is the first manuscript page from Walker Percy's L