Parliamentary drinking and political accountability

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That was the vibe, but the first PMQs since Kir Starmer's life fell apart M Mm Abeidock made three complaints, whyy is the Labour government nationalising steel, importing Russian oil and trying to force supermarkets to impose price controls Welcome to the Daily T tea with me, Tim Stanley. And me Kim and Aominy Tim, you've had a trying morning. Yes. I had to go to the US embassy to apply for a visa. because I live miles away in the worldilds of Kent.ot that far away from' half houro. Yeah. I had to get up super early anyway. Of course the trains didn't work because of a point's failure. So of course I had to run to the embassy. Of course I went into the wrong queuees and was then told to join another one. Having done that, of course I discovered N Not allowed to bring a laptop in. so I was sent to a cafein and then had to rejoin the queue. And then when I finally get in there with a bad knee, of course, there are no seats to sit on. No, they don't. yourself comfortable there. For two and a half hours. It was. And you didn't have the right paperwork. Well, the night before I realized I didn't have the right paperwork. so I wanted to print something off. I went to my mother's house and used her printer. Do you not have a printer here? I don't own a printer because they're too bulky They're too bulky. So I went to my mother's house, used her printer and she was so low on ink, the pages just came out completely bl. Oh not even like yellow. No, just completely blank. So I then had to go to a friend's house and I showed up in my pajamas in the middle of the night and she looked horrified. What kind of pajamas do you wear? Silk? They are silken, I would say Wh this with tigers on You have a little pair of bonogram slippers. If I'd been wearing high karate, it might have looked like a desperate flirtation But it occurred to me this morning and I make up at six. I just thought Labour's been in power for what like a decade now. Yeah feel. And they've done nothing to stop me having to get up so early in the morning. No I think Angela Ryna would probably set it at no work before ten AM. That's right. Or eleven if you hung over. Yes, that'sue. That's creating like political royalty there.y kept going until about eleven. But I did notice because I had to go to bed early. Before I went to bed, I just stupidly looked at Tinternet and the first thing I saw was government introducing price controls And I thought I'm going to bed. I can't cope with this right now. I saw it last night and I went, you are thinking it was whyy is this on the home news? This is foreign news? Yes. This is associated surely with some kind of foreign dictatorship. Th thenen I realizeed it was Rachel Reeves's own suggestion. And we've got pieces now with all sorts of people, including the head of MNS saying is Absolutely preposterous. If you want to help retailers, here's an idea, Chancellor. why don't you act some of the red tape and regulation? Oh and by the way, some of the insane taxes that you've piled on employers in both of your budgets. Well and indeed the deal if it were to go ahead would be You lower your prices and in exchange, we delay some of the punitive regulation that we're putting ono you. In the government's sort of defence, this is done in France. Of course Of course Of course it is. France is on strike for most voluntary price controls. It's not a government board telling people what they charge for things And most strikingly, every mad Marxist idea of this labour government has been tried by a Tory government first. Rishi Sunak flirted with this a couple of years ago, but was dissuaded Because the truth is is that one industry that works quite well in this country is the super competitive supermarket. Yes, because we've got so many of them in such a range and such a price range too. Yeah. And they have meal deals and wars and really the shopping is just a bit cheaper, I find here than it is in Europe. O, Tescoos, for instance, has recorded record profits But it does pass some of those on, by the way, in pay increases for its workers. But also, aren't these basic goods that they're trying to price cap actually loss leaders anyway? I'm not sure the average supermarket is making much on milk, bread, or eggs. No. frankly, if you speak to farmers, they're certainly not making very much either. So it seemed like an extraordinary thing to target. By all means introduce a price cap on chocolate. I saw a packet of Malteses. O, a big square one Okay it was in a garage, but a Sainsbury's garage Right, there you go Toothpaste has been advertised in the station boots. Y here. and again' soon be up to eight pounds on a liter of petrol as. It was like eleven quid for some max fresh. I mean, people did say why are you buying your toothpaste at a station? It's like buying it an airport. I said I didn't actually buy it. I'm just giving you an impression of how much inflation has been up.'. Imagine shopping in a petrol station as your regular. You'd think you lived in North Korea, wouldn't you? You would really. One or two things and they're insanely p. Going shopping at what do you call them a motorway service station Y. where by the way It's amazing, isn't it? The mark up there. You could buy an ordinary coffee there for literally one pound fifty more than it is in the Pemager down the road, just as you're a captive audience. And they have wimpies too. I mean that's where you've turned over Where else could you find whereere else could you find a wimpies? But the problem with this plan is that if it were imposed upon the supermarkets voluntarily, they would just pass the cost of the policy ono other goods So yes, they may well place a cap on how much milk or bread costs, but the result would be that the price of other foods and materials goes up. So that's always the problem. I thought Kemmy Baadenock had a good run. I thought she had one killer line when she summarized talking of food price controls. Indeed the kind of trio of bonkers Marxist policies that the Labour Party has just come out with He is so deep in the bunker,pe. He is importing sanctioned Russian oil, he is nationalizing steel, he is imposing price controls in the supermarket. It's like the Soviets won. So there was a mention there of the nationalization of steel. We know all about that. Now It's a reform party policy too, I believe. But she also mentioned easing sanctions on Russian oil Now there is a debate over what really is going on here Materially, it is true the government does appear to be easing sanctions on Russian oil. Y. The government's reply is that we are doing that only in the interim while we actually toughen up Russian sanctions so that so that the consumer doesn't get hurt while we impose new restrictions, we are going to ease some of them, but it's temporary And the Tories did the same when they were in charge. But I think the counter argument to that which she made well, And this plays well with the public, doesn't it It's the insanity as she has described it on X our energy policy in general that we have now decided to ban the issuing of new licenses for drilling gas and oil in the North Sea., where others like Norway are drilling for it with great abandon and by the way, are amassing huge profits from the sale of said gas and oil plunging it all into a sovereign wealth fund which my father, because he'd been reading the telegraph at the weekend, informs me that Norway's sovereign wealth fund is now worth a million pounds per Norwegian. Yeah. Okay, so they're doing that probably under our very noses. Yes Me what? Whereas Margaret Thatcher splurished it all on benefits in the eighties. Anyway, carry on. All right We should have had I'm very pro sovereign wealth funds, but Tory governments had plenty of opportunity to set one. All right, well we like the idea of the fund, but perhaps can disagree about how the proceeds are spent No matter I think the public looks at the notion of us not issuing any more licenses when we're in this problem with having no real self sufficiency, no supplies to fall back on Apparently this kind of emergency situation where on any given day, we can run out of gas and oil, combined with the need to scale up for AI and to build data centers and to have all of these policies about re industrialization that are going to require huge amounts of energy And we're doing the precise opposite to what common sense would dictate with our own supplies in the North Sea comombined with then taking in more Russian oil and gas at a time when we know that's going to feed the Putin war machine Kemmy herself said in the house and I don't think she's far off This could actually help Vladimir Putin to kill more Ukrainians. It just doesn't sit well. Regardless of how the Prime Minister sort of tried in his very loyly way to reason it the public orer can go, that's just Daft and bonkers. Yes, Yes. Well, it was followed by a statement by Bryant They sent out Chris Bryant to defend the new sanctions regime. And yeah I found it I did find it unconvincing because what it adds up to in the round is, as Kemy put it Sanctions on British oil and gas exploration welcoming more Russian oil and gas into the country And I think that's the tension there that Kemmy is picking up on To be fair, later Brian admitted that the whole thing had been put together rather clumsily, and then, the Bank of England Governor Andrew Bailey said, Yeah, I agree, it's a nuts idea. We did get the invention of a new word which I thought was interesting. So you and I, haven't we talked great length about Kir Stama's obsession with the process. Yes. Let me be clear Yes. The process was followed at all times. now Bidnock, there was a Bidnchism that she used to describe the Prime Minister's modus operandi. This very weak set of cheers from the MPs who are trying to get rid of him. C I just say, he doesn't know what he is talking about. This level of prostessology is not going to get him out but he g for answers Let tell him what is going on. Labour or giving money to Russia, Reformer taking money from Russia, there is only one party that is standing up to Russia and that is the Conservative partarty Kemmy had made up the word process oology to take the MC out of the PM. But the PM having heard it, liked it And made it his own. What is happening is that those sanctions are being phased in in a way which was used by the last goovernment when they introduced new sanctions. We failed to do the processology and work out what we were doing and supported it because we could see that it put more pressure on Russia.cessology. Pcessology you' got anology. It does it. Maureie L couldnt she By. I'm thinking to myself, my son' struggling to decide his third A level olog prorocessology withith a textbook by onene K Starmer now retired from political life. Don't knock There'll be dozens of former polytechnics now offering courses in processology Starmer studies. the art of pushing the can down the road and carrying out a review instead of making any decisions. You could have a whole syllabus based on U turns. You could have another tutorial session on the art of the reset. Yes. What works? what doesn't?. And then we could have another unit, couldn't we blame culture If in doubt throw staff under the bus in quick success And an oral exam to determine whether or not you have been absolutely clear, which the Prime Mister was at several point during this PMQ. I do want to say this and look, I'm starting to become sympathetic towards the Prime Minister, because Anything is it okay, baby? It's funny, isn't it? I'm starting to quite like Where have you been today? I'm starting to quite like the Prime Minister on the principle that anything Labour hates can't be all bad. Are you all right? Can you stop doing this thing? you go The thing is, you know I don't actually mind the idea of price control. actually don't you you're nudging me at our desk, going come on aren't you beginning to feel a bit storory fry No, I'm not. No no I'm not starting to quite like the Prime Minter. You're starting to quite like the Prime Minister because instead of being rigid and stiff absolutely humorless, maybe because his beloved at Arsenal has won the Premier League. Yes. He's sort of feeling a little bit chipper. He thinks he's got reasons to celebrate. though his world is collapsing around him Last week we had the biggest fall in NHS waiting list for seventeen years inflation has come down more than expected Mrpeaker, if you've offered me that and Arsenal becoming Premier League Champions, I'd take it every day in a week This was the most laid back I've seen him at the dispatch box. and as Ethan Croft, the new statesman said to me afterwards, it reminds one of a leaving drinks There was a feeling of him laughing at himself, his own people laughing at him, but taking the joke ead. He's happppy then Tim. Exactly. He even had fun correcting himself after he accidentally said that Britain had signed a trade deal with North Korea. Trade deals with the EU, but also with India, North Korea and the United States. And I remind him of the value The value of those deals,, beforefore I answer that, I have just been hand a note saying that I inadvertently said we did a trade deal with North Korea on the South Korea. It would be breaking news Vret good. S. before I'm referred to the privilege C committee, can I the record, M in that regard. It was a slip of the tongue but a pretty unfortunate one. What is running through the Prime Minister's head right now And I do think The metaphor of allieving drinks works rather well becausecause he must be thinking I'm out of here Probably by about Christmas. Yes. In fact, Christmas has been Chistmas supportorted now as his own internal deadline A. The unions and ambitious people want to see the leadership debated at conference But number ten is feeling that they can push the timetable back to Christmas, which is always a happier time to go And so there's part of him that will be thinking, this is nearly over. Yes. He'd be relieved, perhaps. But there willll also be a part of him that's thinking, but that still gives me six months to turn this around. And there are a couple of ways in which things could move to his advantage One is, what if Andy Burnham our Andy Losers in Makerfield. Yes Poll suggests that's becoming a little bit less likely. although the reform candidate, the plumber, I was amused, we were discussing yesterday who's? Jake Berry, his colleague got wrong on newsnight. Rob Jenerick was running. Well it said Robert Jenkins. We were like, whoo the hell's that? Probably somebody who's failed veting. Get it right, Jake. Honestly. Well, the reform candidate I noticed we were discussing yesterday how much labour is now imitating reform Well, the reform candidates' video was just Andy Burnham's video., but without Andy in it. Yeah Inead Andy Burnham was a plumber. Exactly. Yes. But anyway, so there's number one, what if Burnham loses? And number two is number ten is saying, well, what if Burnham wins, but okay, it's Burnham Den We lose the Manchester Meralty. Yes. We could legitimately say Andy has just thrown away Manchester. Y. and Starmer has said all along of Burnham. You ran to run Manchester. You kept saying you don't want to be anywhere else in the world and you love that city and it's the only job you want. And then you walked away from it. Isn't this why people hate politicians? Yes, exactly. Because they keep saying, vote for me to do this and I'll give you a full term of my attention. And then the minute an opportunity for something another rung up the ladder comes along Yeah they hop on it. So that feel so true actually. the people that he was being glazed by in his video I mean, imagine he then has to turn round to them and say, because of my own vaulting political ambitions ' actually handed over this great city. Yeah, steeped in oasis and elbow and you know buy thats Not inconceivable that Makerfield is just too much about the cult of Andy, but actually they lose Manchester to reform Farage. in which case reform will be gaining by far its biggest electoral win that it's thus had. So actually and it willll be an even bigger win, won't it for Farage? Because in order for him, now they've segued away from trying to win over Tories and trying to win over more and more or labour rights. And by the way, I think they need a few defections in that direction. I love that he gave that deadline of may the seventh. What are you telling me that if a lab we were discussing Jonathan Hinder the other day, I'm not suggesting for a minute that these MPs would actually defect. But there are a few candidates that you could see may be turning if they think their electoral chances are slim to minimal Imagine Farraage being able to say, well, look what we've done in Manchester. if for instance they do win the Mayority, they do a good job of it. and by twenty twenty nine, they do look as if they have conquered the North likeike in a proper we've governed something sense. Yes. Exactly. So half of the starmer brain is thinking, I'm out of here by Christmas, I can relax a bit Have fun with the G twenty, that sort of thing.es. And the other half of his brain will be thinking Or the party will come back to me and beg me to stay. Although what do we make of the National Executive Committee going from a situation where they blocked Andy Burnham from doing the chicken run to Gorton and Denton eight to one or something? Yeah and have now just waved him through. That's been blamed No opposition Lucy Powell, show which suggests that the deputy leadership election was more significant in the long run than we appreciate. She beat my girl Bridget Phillipson, who, by the way has been hanging out with Gemma Collins. Do you know who where Gemma Collins is? I do now Yes. didnn't you before? Okay, I can't say anything without it being viciously cruel. So it's probably best if I don't. But of all the departments find a celebrity face of. Gemma Collins and education? No. I did a topic on Richard IId Not many youngsters would know about Richard IId today. I love Richard III Can I ask you, what did you learn at school? because I would love your job just for this office alone I wish I could have been as smart as you. so tell me what you did. I loved school as well. Yeah. hadad a really great experience. loved it. I mean, I grew in quite a tough area. Yeah So it had it its challenges. I in the northeast Neas Underland. wentent to my local schools. L you all loved history? What do you know all about Richard III? I do I mean, Joan Collins, maybe. But no, really, really odd that. Yeah sure what I think of it. It's also trying to think of who's hang on a second. spepeaks to what we were discussing yesterday last the general debasing of our political scene. Ma one second. who is the moron in East Enders? Is it Danny Dye Danny Die Hang on w. Was Dany Dye unavailable Danny Dye is too busy filming rivals. Right whichich if you don't watch it, I cannot recommend more highly. And adverts are gambling too. Well, indeed. But we love him because of that famous tweet that he put out on the death anniversary of The of nine eleven, J remember I can't believe it's been ten years since Dem slags brought down the twwin towers. It still does my not to this day Thank you Thank you, Daniel. As though had he been a passenger on those planes, they would never have gone down. Indeed. But sorry, Jeremy Collins So Bridget Phillipson was pushed out by Lucy Powell, and you're saying that was consequential because Lucy Powell has done this weird three hour consultation that has resulted in the NEC basasically putting Berer forward as an uncontested candidate to basically replace the Prime Mister. Pick up on Kemy's Soviet analogy and the North Korean bants. Yes. How Soviet is it Burnham had no one else in the selection race.. He was crowned. The King of the North has been was crowned to be the nominee in a contest they assume is then going to crown him to be the MP and then crown him to be the leader. Also, I was reflecting as you had come back from Parliament today saying actually the Prime Minister had quite a good session and that's fine. I mean, I not complete down on him. He was certainly a bit more It was a bit more relaxed than in previous weeks. I accept that And I was actually reflecting, I wonder how Badenock sees all this I wonder if Berham will be any good at PMQs if he becomes Prime Minister. Yeah. And she nailed him, didn't she by saying, you know, you can patronise me all you like. This has been the problem with Starmer's performance. It's been man spplainerish, it's been condescending. It's been sort of puffed up and pompous It's made him look frankly like a bit of an ass.. wnder old eyelashes as he flutters them at the leader of the opposition Has he caght what it takes? Has he got a mean enough streak to perform well at the dispatch box? Because on one hand, you'll look at it and we've done a report today saying actually, if Burnham does become the next Prime mininister, that does create problems for Nigel Farage. Y. Reform would rather, as he said to us, the day of the local election results, he'd rather star is in place forever because he's quotes their best recruiting serergeant Badenock. It is a problem in the Red Wall. in the way that Gordon Brown was a problem in Scotland Badnock G I think has also got the problem that she's stuck in the William Hagig zone, which is like the friend zone in romance. As in everyone likes you, but they're not actually going to date you. And every week at PMQs it's her versus Starma and she bosses it and she is increasingly popular as a leader of her party But her party is less popular than Ebola And the Tories' a bit of an exaggeration. The Tories are not The main party in Makerfield. They they're not the racers in Makerfield, but hang on. that could be an A Pular than Ebola.. You go have put them ahead of labour. R in this week's poll. Okay. Can we just have some perspective here? But I'm merely making the point. What Because the thing is with Starmer legally trained, knows how to debate What debating experience has Burnham got Why is there this notion that because he's able to look comfortable in a black t shirt and jacket. He's suddenly this brilliant parliamentarian. Is he a brilliant?arian? He's not But but what he will do is suck some of the air out of her performance by just being so ruddy dull That's what he does. Well, is it going to be ruddy dull or Ruddy nice? It'll be a mixture of nice and dark dull. He'll say things like, well, I see where she's coming from and I thank her for making that point. And it'll work to begin with because it's very difficult to argue with dullness So willill we end up missing K Stara? I don't know. But one person who certainly won't is our old friend, Carl Turner who pended labour MP, we must point out. That is correct. still sits on the labour side on one of the frontier benches of labour And he said this to the Prime Minister. Mrpeaker, from nineteen ninety seven The Prime Minister come into scrapp single judge trials in Northern Ireland Yet, when I opposed his government's plan too bring in single judge trials in England and Wales I received Oustile briefings And smears about my mental health. Fom all thats in number ten Downle street. The chief whbs shhaking his head But he knows about it, Mr. Speaker The Prime Minister knows that my nephew Mattty took his own life as a result of work related stress As a young criminal lawyer So during mental health awareness week whileile ministers spoke with compassion about health and well being Prime Minister reflects on those Oustars. dis discriminatory briefings, which he knew about and he allowed to happen Now that obviously a very personal intervention. And what the cameras didn't catch, which I saw from the gallery, is that when it was over, Turner walked towards Jonathan Reynolds, who is the chief whip said something to Reynolds And Reynolds said very loudly back to him was disgraceful And then David Lammy put his arm around Reynolds Okay So there's a real tension Karl Turner can be a bit of a loose canon, but he's just sharing the frustrations of many backbenches with the Prime Minister in general, is. And the crucial thing is that question was unimaginable before Kir Starmer's leadership imploded. It is another sign of the times however much Starmmer might be enjoying this slight retirement vibe He is still greatly disliked and there are people who want to see him go Tim you said Kistan was on good form, coming up next we'll listen to his jokes about Nigel Farraage and Zack Palansky. This week, we got the debut question from Hannah Spencer. That is the Dotty Green plumber who was elected in Gordon and Denton. And she tried to ask about MPs drinking In Gordland Denton we have to pay full price for a pint. but here for some reason it's cheaper and some MPs some MPs drink before voting. that really shocked me when I came to Parliament because it is our workplace Prime Minister agree with his own MPs who have defended their rights to drink cheap alcohol at work Or does he agree with me that MPs shouldn't be drinking on the job, given that we vote on huge things like the climate crisis, disabled people's rights, housing, child poverty When she started speaking, someone shouted anyyone fancy a pint. And behind her, Sarah Pochin was mouthing a life. She has a point, by the way, you made this. Spencer wants to ban drinking in parliament but legalize heroin. Right. Also she just it's funny how someone who should represent hippie libertarian fun. Yes. Almost overnight has transformed into a nineteenth century temperance campaigner campaigning against public joy and fun. Indeed. And there's nothing worse, by the way. Speaking as a teetotaler My point is you have as much as you want to drink. Just don't make me drink. Yeah, because then you know, it could get nasty. No. I don't so much unwinders unravel. but like you knock your socks off. you just get as drunk as you like. There's nothing worse. It's like the reformed smoker who when they're in you know ye the distance of smoke start coughing and smutattering It's fun spongery at its lowest level PM You got to admire this one gave a masterful response. Look There are going to be different views on whether people should be able to enjoy drink here or not. but I think we can agree that the majority of people in this country want an economy that works for them, public services that are there when they need them, and every child going as far as their talent or ability will take them So the only way to deliver that is through a labour government, as we are doing And the Greens think that their leader walks on water. It turns out that he just lives on water and doesn't pay his council tax The irony is Zach Polansky's never in Parliament because of course he doesn't have a seat because'm actually an MP. and we're all trying to work out what he actually is. Meanwhile, the other person who was notable by his absence was, of course, Nigel Farage. and the Prime Minister couldn't resist pointing that out when he was given this Very convenient planted question by a colleague. the Prime Minister agreed the election must ensure that no British politician is ever for sale to the highest bidder Starmer then said this We have already committed to a moratorium on crypto donations to political parties and the King's speech introduces tougher rules to protect our democracy But the five million pound question is Why did the reform leader keepe this donation secret. I see he' not here to answer And what did the billionaire lining his pockets ask for In return, those questions need to be answered. That's why he is not here Isn't it becoming a bit problematic that Farge is lesser spotted in that chamber? No, I'm not sure that it is. They've calculated that it doesn't matter, and it's probably not worth the trouble Partly because you'll get jibes about the five million pound donation. And a couple of days ago, Rob Genrick tried to make a super serious point in Parliament. went back and the Lb Dems did this to him. And where are we Where are we less than two years later? You're in a different party. We're here We me here We're here. You used to be there. We're here Part of the problem with that is Rob's response was not light enough. He should have try to laugh it off. The liib Dems are rather unpleasant to reform, by the way. They do heckle and interrupt their speeches all the time. Ply because the lib Dems have convinced themselves that reform are like a neo fascist movement or something Yeah. But you need to be able to laugh these things off. and there's an element of reform that's funny about other people Very good at making jokes about other people 're not so good at laughing at themselves. Yes. And we do need a bit of that. You need a bit of that. Someone who asked a question which I also thought was very funny was Esta McVeigh Does the Prime Minister agree with Andy Burnham when he says we should rejoin the European Union? Or does he agree with Andy Burnham when he says we shouldn't rejoin the European Union Of course, someone who was not seated on the front bench this week, but sitting at the back with other people who had resigned from the government was Wes Streeting, former health secretary, watching the whole thing. He was not amused when the SMP referred to him in passing as