Managing Summer Schedules and Kids

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I don't worry about spills or shoes coming in or general wear because it's built to handle it And the combination of durability and design is really what makes it stand out Refresh your home at ruggable. com ten percent off your first order sitewide with promo code dive at ruggable d. comot That's RuGG A BLEot com and use code dive at checkout Hey lovers, you know how much I love deep diving into the complexities of sex, love, and relationships. And I know you do too. And that is why I am so excited to tell you about a podcast I think you'll really appreciate. It's called Sex and the Psyche. It's hosted by two savvy sex therapists in the field, doctor Jenny Skyer and her husband Daniel Leibewitz who have been married for sixteen years. What I love about their show is it feels like you're getting a rare peek behind the clinical curtain as they think through real life relationship challenges in real time. They talk about everything from reigniting desire after years together to navigating mismatched libidos courage it takes to ask for what you truly want. But they don't just talk about the problems. they give you the tools. You'll walk away from each episode with concrete exercises and new ways of thinking that you can bring directly into your own relationships. So if you're looking to add another powerful resource to your relationship toolkit I highly recommend you check them out. Think of it as expanding your team of experts. Find sex in the psyche wherever you get your podcasts Hi, I'm Jessica Saint Clair, and I'm June Diana Rayfield. and this is the deep dive. We're about to do what women have done for centuries. We're crowding around the fire with our generous haunches. We got babies hanging off our ts and we're gonna to share with you our fears. That's right, our joys, our tips on how to stay alive. Now Jess, we are heating a callall that no one has made Not a soul, but you're invited to listen. Absolutely. 'cause we make one promise and one promise only. We will not Google a thing. 'cause frankly, we're too damn tired. Please get ready to go on. The deep dive Hello, Jessica Chan We've lived a lifetime Since seven AM, haven't we We've been in it about Balage I started off my morning at eight AM for my weightlifting class, which I Mistakenly bought a package. So I'm forced to finish it out What have we learned? What have we learned on the deep dive Please we cannot buy packages, Jessica Is it MLM? Like no it is.'s I can now. I cannot buy packages. So like I'm on six. it feels like I've been on six for like so long. and I have four more to start your day out with. Oh. And like these are not our people I don't even know what you're saying I don't even know a weight lifting cllass likeike it's weightlifting something you do solo. It's not to know done in community. I don't know I don't know You know I love different communities and different micro cultures And I can usually chameleon into them This one is the different now Do I have an aunt ' briefly a professional potty buildilder. Oh My mother's youngest sister professional Bodybuilder. I'm shocked Everyone is and everyone should Please post pictures at the accademy. Like that's really important to know where you came from. Like this is and by the way, when I look at your body, I can see that. I can see that that is possible to see what is genetically possible and To know that like my mother's family, you know, the fourteen brothers and sisters, they span in age and she was the baby But my mother is really like her mom. And then when she went into professional semi professional bodybuilding She was our fun aunt who like when all of the um Everyone die. like around twelve, everybody died. like all the old people died the time of the Right, so's the moment We were so often in a minivan with all of my cousins following a hearse And she would she would drive the minivan And she'd make it fun. Like we had fun at most of these funerals. We were having a blast So we would be in the in the van, But then and then she became a a bodybuilder. and she's also an anesthesiologist anyway But that being said, I remember visiting her weight lifting studio in like Macon, Georgia and being like, what is this place? L because they're all encouraging each other They're all in community spotting each other They're making loud noises, but this is not a place for us. It's not a place for us It's not. I never thought it was You said I telling me this like I never thought it was not for a second. I don't want a stranger A strange man, bald man spotting me I don't want him seeing that I'm struggling to lift just the bar, nothing else on it. I don't want him to tell me I've got one rep left in me because the truth is I don't I don't want it. They're jokes don't make any sense. There are jokes. The instructor? Yes he He is. He is But they also all know each other and they know each other's numbers. they know like Today, Tony's gonna try for something that's as he's never tried for and they're, you know, screaming at him, but in a that's what they need. It's a different world. It's not for us, okay, but I'm stuck there for another four, four sessions. Just get through it. and I would recommend you just pang through it in the next two weeks. just be because I this I have to this. I hate it. I hate and every time I go in, I tell them that I'm new because I don't want them to expect anything of me, but then they look at my profile and they're like, you're not bad Well, it's like my mother said she was brand new to Bridge For twenty years. He did. Yeah She would always show off just like, I'm just new, sorry, I just been new to this. But let me sit over here 'cause those preach players are so fucking scary. And she would pretend she had never played before. The wait, did she do that to like pull like a rain manan and I think that be No no, she was never good at it She just didn't want to identify as a bridge player. Yeah, there was this club in our town called the Newcomers Club where like you sign if you if you you know, moved into the town and you were new, youd join the newewcomerers Club That's cute. so cute. And she met one of her best friends there, who's my godmother But at the Newcomerers Club, I think they got them into like bridge circles And but you'd be at a different table, there was like it was in a giant basement at a church or something. And so there were so many people there over the years that you'd sit at a table You know, you'd be partnered with someone And it was like you would not necessarily see the same people every week or be at that table. So she would always tell her partner Really new. That's great. I'm really new And she never learned it. And I always said to her, you spent twenty years on this. She's like me. She's very similar. never learned it. veryery similar. And of course, then there's a classic story with one of my best friends where we were at our summer bungalow out East We were playing Rummy Kib. And my mom Yeah, who was not very good at these types of gamees. This wasn't her, you know, area att one point just put her hands on her head. just said There's too many numbers. And just like got up and made herself a cup of tea. She's like, I can't too many numbers. There's too. Anne and I said that to each other all the times too. Well, and it's like Then she leaves the game and I'm sure throughw the game for it. Like you can't just leave. No like she reached a point where there were too many numbers. When you guys pranked Elizabeth Lames saying that I had taken a private Majong tutor and like been trained like like grad was trained in F one and I won and it's like For the reason why I know Elizabeth and I are newer friends, even though we've been circling each other for so long. is that she bought it Be anybody who knows anything about me would know that that's simply not you're absolutely right Now I'm going I want to speak to Elizabeth Lane because See. She and I had a day. What's today? Friday? Okay, the tenth. So it was two days ago It was the nineteen year anniversary of my mom's passing Oh and I hurry I didn't know that's okay. I had a day Now I was supposed to meet Elizabeth for coffee after like school drop off and our other friend Michaela, and I was like I knew I was saying goodbye to Elizabeth because she's, of course leaving for a year to go to France. and I was like You know, had a tough morning, Paul's travel And I was like, okay, I got the kids to school. And there wass something about this one and the length of time. done I can't even tell you, Jessica, I was like It was new. It was a new feeling. It was like, wait. nineteen is very close to twenty and twenty is. twenty is a lifetime twenty is a lifetime. twenty was twenty is M almost how long I was a had her for So certain things were hitting my f so sad you know, sometimes and I know I posted about it and so many of you deep divers wrote me and it was so I was so moved. so many of you just wrote and said that you loved hearing stories about her and it was really I was so deeply I was really struggling with whether to post or, you know, there's all these things who are like Do I share this? Is it private? but I was following my own kind of By the way, I bought an app that has blocked me from getting to my Instagram and I don't know how to undo it. And that's the reason I didn't. I'm so sorry. No, but that's the way Instagram is. Good thing because it does allow us to know some things that people wouldn't necessarily be sending a group text to you had a lot going on that day, if youll remember. was I was dragging you through that. Oh God. but that was okay. But I I tell I was looking at pictures and trying to figure out what to post and I'm in the car. Wildly I was there early. the coffee place. And I was like, it's eight. It's eight AM. We're meeting at eight fifteen Which by the way, I highly recommend. I love meeting friends for coffee at eight in the morning. You know that's very French. It's fun. French parents always gather at the coffee shop right after drop up right before they go to to work because it's a buffer and a bridge. We cannot go from drop off B. It work. No, no. So it was so I was looking in the car, trying to figure out what to write, trying to figure out and then baling and I thought, okay, you gott to go on, you gott to put your stip together, gott to go inside Go into the coffee shop. sit down I really is don't on my wallet. so I'm like, well, I got to wait for them before I order anything I order anything they counter. So I'm sitting there and I start crying again. I go, I go to the bathroom C't There are people here Yeah I know some people don't have sungl I know. I did have sunglasses on, but I still was just like, I got it together. into the bathroom, wape myself. Th then I walk out and I see Lzard lam is talking to A family, like parents and a little couple little kids at a table. she's sitting down with them I walk right by her. I can't tell interact No, no no. I don't know what's going on over there And then I go and like find I'm in the booth where she can't see me You know, andm and then I'm texting her and our other family Guys, I'm id I'm hiding so strange Now, and this is what I love about women. They bothoth come over together because I've said I'm hiding and I'm crying Yes, All you need to say That's it And I see my two girlfriends around the corner. and I said and I don't have a wallet Someone get me a latte. Yeah, that's like I see the two of them around the corner lookingooking at me, it's like I can't even describe it like two little birds peeking over each scared, trying to find out what's going on Once youon it's like you're you're crying, you're crying, but you're like, I am'm in public. and then you see someone you people you feel safe with them love thenen it was like, well Floodgids. Flood kids. Now they don't even know what's happening. Yeah, they don't even know what it's an anniversary. They don't know They must. That's no where I'm cl it up. Are you didid you get a devastating diagnosis? No. they don't know why I They'reing. So they just, but this is the beautiful thing. And now I'm very upset and they come over both sitting in next to me in the booth holding me and I said, I'm okay. It's okay. I'm sorry, I'm gonna tell I couldn't speak And then I finally got it out. then and now we're all crying. And now we' looking, I'm asking them if they could look at pictures with me, and they did. And it was so beautiful I was so grateful And then they got me my coffee and we just sat there and it was just so I was like, I literally fell into their arms Do you know what I mean and like And then and then we had went on to have so many. ding, so many laughs, but then Now we're leaving each other. You know, we all have the day Hey And I said, Elizabeth starts crying because she knows she's not gonna to see us. I can't, this is too much. I can't watch this show And it was funny because when she started crying, I was like miss her too, but I was like, I'm okay, you know, and it's so sweet that she's like, you know, but I was like, we got you and we're talking about coming to meet her in Paris and like all this stuff love to be on that flight. But I'm like, oh, Elizabeth, I'm now comforting her, right she leaves Mikaella goes, I'm in my car. I'm watching Elizabeth walk away lose it again in my car. Watching her walk away, I was like, I felt like like my best friend is moving away and I'm still really sad about it. but I'm excited for her and So Jess, it was a fucking and it was so funny And it was nine AM. It was not a day weal out of there like nine twenty. It's like seeing a movie in the middle of the day and you're like, is it nighttim yet It was wild and But I know that anyone who's, you know, experienced grief is It's like,, you know, it's funny. It's not unwanted though. It's like a funny thing after nineteen years. It's not like, o, I don't don't feel this way. You got to move forward. It's not that. It was a wave. And then a couple other things happened that day that also hit me. It is a wave and I went I was like sucked under the undertone. And then but I really do want to I really do want to say thank you to everyone who commented. The most Jessica, referencing things about my mom that they heard on the podcast and it was so special to me. And so I really do appreciate it. And then you know, we always laugh about my mom. she never baked really or cooked really, but the one thing she made was carrot cake. And I don't even have this vague memory of tasting it My dad said my mom made the best carrot cake she ever had. It's very a hard cake to make. You know that R? I don't know. I've never been able to do it, but I love it's my favorite cake It was my wedding cake Yes. It was your wedding cake. It is so hard to make. It is so easy to fuck up. it can be too dense.. It could be not enough cream cheese. It's like Okay, so okay, so so so so I said So I said, I'm gonna get her Kricake today so I went on to I went to Szie Q's, whatever, the bakery I got a carr cake, small carrot cake that said, I love you, Mommy. Lved youune And it was so good to do that And I took it home and Then I to go get my hair colored. and again, a couple other things happened that left me berefted What was really going on was my, you know being hit by this wave And then I said to my hair colors because there' studios in their house in the basement. I said I need a class of Y Yeah Yeah. What time was it Oh, Three forty five. Great I said, I need a glass of wine. Anything after two PM, one thirty.es, she said. Now I've known her for I don't know fifteen years. She's done my color. She said, you, and I'm so I said, No, I forgot slash didn't know. I don't know what to tell you. And then she But she's been she's seen me crying multiple times throughout this session. She goes, hold on. And She's like, someone someone also forgot I was sober and did drop off. She wases, I don't know. it's alcohol. something is in it's sort of fermented. And I said. I don't give a fuck what it is. I'll have it. I'll have it first of all, I'm like, I don't know about sober people. I'm like, arere we supposed to crack that open in front of her? I don't know. like I know But youre didad. Okaykay. And what was it? I don't know, Jessic. A mead of sorts like a someade needad. I don't know if it wass K Guch. I don't know what the fuck it was. but it gave me a little something. I said, I need something Yeah. Now then of course, Casey was going to stop by and bring the kids who I really wanted to see, but she, you know, I so appreciated her because she said, you know, She had to do a show and she's like I'm going to come back to the k I knew she had an early flight the next morning. I said, listen She said, but listen, I also understand that you make a plan on a day like this And then You don't know where you're going be. You don't know what she goes, so if the tides have turned Yeah Prince of Tides. And I said, okay, I wrote her while I was still in the chair drinking What we don't know what we'll never know what it was M Wait, what do these called Mhine is something Mood Chine? We'll never know what it was. I said I'm not, I think I need to go to bed She said, no problem 's so sweet, you know, and And that's the thing I think about showing up for people in grief. It's like also being okay to not show up if you're called off. It's like and I knew it was no problem. We said all those that rearranging you did with your family and babysitters and the kids coming and no problem. I knew it was, no problem So I thenen Take myself home darling Beautiful, Nanny Juliana had gotten sunflowers because she had remembered that I said, My mom loves sunflowers. So I come and she hands me I I cry again hysterically holding her And then, um And then my sister texted and she's like, I'm gonna to come by with Wing. Now I've said I'm heading into bed, but I was like, you know what? M I want to show her the car cake and I wantan to show her the car. Yeah. So she comes over a littleittle did I know? brother in law had purchased all of these food items that my mom used to diet cokes to her. she kisses too rice cakes and tuna fish and juicy for gum and all of the stuff and he put it out And it was like we had this and then I put the cake. It was like we had this Well, this is very Mexican. This is very Day of the Dad. It really was. You make an altar. We had an altar. It their favorite things. We had an altar. And then You know, Wing is such a big Ns fan Of course this is weeks after and this is podcast going to be released. So I don't know if they've won the championship. I don't know what's happened. But what I will tell you is We then watch together. Oh, and the other great thing was I said to my sister and Wing they were eating the tuna and doing all this stuff. Dan I was playing ping pong with G. and I said I don't know how to break this to you Yeah, like you can't be upright. You didn't have to be alone, but you could not know. Right. And my sister and I left because we were staring at all of my mom's favorite things and she goes, June It's another one My, so if you had I wish you'd had an Afghan nearby because that's the most Afghan like thing I could find And I got on that couch. That was also one of her favorite things is lying down. The favorite things in the world. You know, I got into a fight with a girl named Becky in middle school because she said to me offhandedly, why is your mom always lying down? Right. And it's like You know, I don't know why my mom's always lying down. You can im you to judge fuck yourself. Yeah. Who are you to judge honestly look back and I'm like My mom's lying down hours you know, was so important and so necessary. And I'm so glad my mom assigned it. Now we could go talk to her and we would bring her she'd ask us to bring tea, and she gave us cou there. Yeah, she's on the couch. but never in the bed. always in the couch. She would orders from there and say, why hasn't the homeor been started? And know there was a point in the evening Wh she had to go lie down. That's beautiful. She's been working all day as a teacher, come on Give me a b Give me a break. That is such a signal of like taking care of yourself. You watch that You all they're watching And a lot of times we would come in and sit beside her, like little women's style, but we were she was lying down So And then of course, the Kicks went on to have the biggest comeback, I think in NBA history. I won't even take you through what happened at the end, but it was it was the most exciting game I think I've ever watched And watching New York in a supine position. Yes. everyveryone was jumping up around you. Yes, that's right. And, you know Kids were with us and ul FaceTimes from New York. and it was just so something about it being New York too. My mom is from Brooklyn. like something felt so Wonderful. So it was a really full We ran the gauntlet. And that ran the gauntlet too of different Women taking care of you Yeah, you know God mom a mom best friend, an old best friend. Beautiful hair colorist who's taking care of you You' nanny right La Casey by not unfortunately by being called off so gracefully. And I guess me by texting you sixteen different times about a mental breakdown I was having. You know what, Jess? That's I'm gonna that would ha me. Oh don' me. Please, please please don'tar Marius is. please hear me Jess. don't know, I know. I w. Okay wont I mean, I will obsess over it, but please don't. But I also usually hear back from you right away. So I thought you were shooting U And I was like, oh, June actually is a professional and doesn't bring her Fction set. So I was like, oh, yeah, I'll hear back for. And by the time you had gotten back to me, I actually had completed my own mental insanity go Thank God. That's true. had you had by that time. I had. but that is a beautiful story. And I also have a friend who is departing this great city. And I have been feeling, even though I don't get to see her in bodily form We're mostly on the phone. I have been feeling deep grief about her leaving because just like knowing we're all in the same. Oh yeah Oh God,'s it's just a one. And I'm crying now because I also am like I was talking to another friend who's got a parent who's, you know, Whse parent is not in some sort of a crisis? but I was like Just know wherever you are, I will drop everything today and I will be there Just say the fucking word, I'm there I don't care, you know, and and it made me think of her her showing up for me and then this friend from Id just like to know that if I had to be there, I could. Yeah just hate goodbes. That's so hard I hate goodbyes. I know. I wish we were all together all the time. I have always hated goodbyes. I hate them. And yet Same thing, I'm so excited for them. that I want that for them and that excitement and I'll be there with their excitement And I know we'll never stop being lockstep, but I just Goodbyes I know. They're so hard. I don't like them They're so hard Death is worse because you can't get to them Once that door's been crossed. Yeah, that's the thing. If they're still here on the, you know, that's not really a goodbye. But it's different. I know, but it's different. It's different be when you're not on the same Isn't it isn't becausecause it's so funny. I know you talk to Julian Pause you for one second, Jess. I can't wait. We're gonna to say goodbye and for this break. Okay. I didn't think we were ever gonna take a break. We're just saying goodbye for the break and then we'll be right back, okay? Okay, okay. So goodbye for now. Okay Have you ever had so many tabs open that your computer started slowing down ten for work, five for family, one for that thing you've been meaning to figure out twentywenty more running quietly in the background Life can feel like that too According to Better Help's twenty twenty six state of Stigma report, eighty five percent of Americans say getting support is a smart thing to do. Yet seventy four percent say society still discourages people from asking for help And more than three in four Americans reported symptoms of anxiety or depression in the past two weeks. Therapy can help you sort through whatever's taking up space and attention With better help, you can connect with a licensed therapist online on your schedule You'll be matched based on your needs, and you can switch therapists anytime In fact, sixty nine percent of better help users showed meaningful improvement in anxiety and depression Maybe it's time to close a few tabs. Visit betteretterhealth. com Better HELp. com Steep Divers, I've been doing that thing lately where I'm already mentally planning trips and weekends away and then immediately following it up with, okay, but what does my bank account think about that Well, that is where our partners at Monarch come in. Monark isn't just another advertiser. 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I also love being able to ask the AI assistant things like whether a trip is realistic without dipping into savings. It turns money from stress into information Use code dive at monarch dot com to get your first year half off at just fifty dollars. That's fifty percent off your first year at monarch dot com with code dive At the deep dive, we are lifelong learners and we are always trying to get a little better at the things that matter to us. That's why we are such big fans of masterclass And what we really love is how easily it fits into real life. You don't need a big block of time. You just start and let it weave into your day Masterclass gives you access to the world's best instructors, people who didn't just study their craft, but defined it. There's always something new to explore and plans start at just ten dollars ten a month billed annually I am always trying to communicate more clearly under pressure, especially at work. So I just went to masterclass. I found Professor Jeffrey Peffer's class on it. I have started using it in real time and it has made my communication feel more intentional and a lot less reactive Masterclass keeps adding new classes, so there's never been a better time to get in. Right now as a listener of this show, you get at least fifteen percent off any annual membership at masterclass dot com slash divers. That's a fifteen percent off at masterclass dot com slash divers. headad to masterclass dot com slash divers to see the latest offer We're already back Oh my God, it was the longest time of my life. No, I mean, like I'd speak to my B friend from childhood At least every day, but we text usually once or twice during the day It's not like I don't keep in touch with those who are not around me physically, but it's just different. It is It also represents, I think what it also represents is a time completion of a time Well and yes, because There's the time of young motherhood And there's the time of next phases. Our city has been in such flux that and our business that it is causing departures that I don't know if would be happening had the changes not happened But maybe they would. you know, there's all these departure times in our lives, right? Like there is your k Yeah. your kids graduate from high school and people make decide to move. I think about when our kids are off having their own families if it's far away we may want to be making a different decision and how hard that would be. and how sometimes we are to our parents, We're just like, well, why don't you just move away from all your best friends and just like be here? It's like Oh, what a what a thing you're asking You're right., You're right. It is What you're asking. What a thing you're asking You're right, it is a thing to ask So I know that life is a series of of hellos and goodbyes. Is that a lyric Jony Mitchell here That's Pilly Joel O' a series of hellos and goodbye. but guess what? Yes it's time for goodbye again That's right. takeake a goode take a goode to Hollwood. Say goodbye to Hollywood. Say goodbye to my baby. I hear you, Jess. I mean, I And sometimes I think too that I don't know. there's something very cleansing also about Sometimes these big emotional releases Yes, or we wouldn't do it Yeah, of just like Our bodies know what they need and actually blocking it is the worst possible thing you could do. It wants to shake the zebra. I mean, that's what you were doing all day in various ways You're absolutely right And even when I sat down with Kim Corist, have saved in my phone. I said I to work on my lines. And she said no Yeah. you don't. No. And I said, I have to, Camas. This is the time. And she said, no. No Pull your computer up Put on summer House, put on Rpe, true crime documentary and go away. And I said, okay And then she said I said, but this is really and she said, you You don't forget who you are. You will work you will get these lines. You always do Pull Saint Claair and show up like, where are we? What show is this What's that I don't I I know you don't. but I cant I like to do but I was just like I know I will find I will show up prepared. I can't not. So if it's not now it'll be somewhere. But so I really needed that too to like She's like, you can't learn anything in this state anyway. What are you trying to prepare? Like you can't I was like, thank you, Kim colorist Thank you Kim Colors and thank you for dusting off that bottle of whatever it was that I drank. I picture her like I true it was I will say it was somehow in a fridge. So it was in like a basement fridge and so it was cold Almost tasted like a funky orange wine or something. you know it had like a funk to it? It was a dessert wine. Maybe. It's very eight. It's very It agrigles coated. Oh not a thousand percent. It was current wine God, I was just thinking about that scene in Anacrene Gables where they're getting ready for Diana's wedding And she just burst into tears Anne is like, if you want me to get you out of here, we will And she's like, No, it's just everything's changing You know, I still struggle with who she married though I know, Rollie Pullly Fred right. She seems very happy But never forget she had a crush on Gilbert. never forget. And she stayed away from him for her Brian. I could have absolutely had a lot of flanks She and Gilbert I've been Baby's been reading it and by that I mean amazing. I told her I would pay her fifty dollars if she read it that's fine. whatever you have to do. She's taking her sweet time, I'm gonna say that. Well change every week She's like, this shit is so boring. She's like, what? and also why are they talking like this? And why are there so many chapters about plants? And the woods, I'm like, that's the point because It's the most beautiful place in the world Let's I just want to go back to that though and Diana stepping aside because I'm having this memory and you have to remind me. Yeah,' having this memory man seeing the two of them together laughing That's right. She sees them. She and Gil She and Gil are chasing each other or racing on their bikes. They're platonic friends at this point. Everyone's graduated. Queen's College of course except for Diana. And Dianna, one of the great things about Oh, Dianna. We don't he enough time talking about Diana Berry No, and I I think in my later half of my life, I' been thinking a lot about her and how that sad thinking about Danna now. The sad scene where they all stayed. They're staying later for Queen's College Crab And she says, I have to go home. Her mother wouldn't let her. Her mother was so But let me ask you this. She could have cutght it up That's the point. Well, Josie Pi was there. I mean, I don't know, but Diane's smart though. Josie was scary, smart Silent Fx What about the weirdo friend Jane who ends up marrying that Canadian billionaire? That was strange I am going to pitch something to you, J And I want to do it live, or record it and put it out there do we need to do Much like our Christmas spectacular, do we need to do an Anne of Green Gables live show Great. sweet. Okay. costume. We're wearing costume We know we have a studio now to shoot it at. We decorate. And we because I'm realizing how much I need to get back, how important this is. I need to talk about so this ist this is important discourse I know it's like I don't want to like honestly waste it here. I could go because I'm going to ping pong. and forth, but Because I just just thinking about Reading this through the Diana Berry lens Bowing in her choices, Roie Poly Fred, right and by the way though, like ended up being a stand up guy though. No, they were very happy. That's the great news is that They have a happy ending. They have babies. I don't know if you remember. the next time you see her. She's got she's happy as a clam. She's sending Anne off to be with to go to fucking where she goes, Queensstown, not Queen, Wh did she go where the those awful sisters that awful family like abuses her that when she's a teacher at that boarding school. She stays av. That was a really t Yeah. that was a t it was a tough time, But Anne, when she sends Anne away, she's like happy as a clam But I do think that scene that she says to Anne, like how dare you judge me Like, I stayed away from Gilbert because of you. And now I'm happy and do not judge me for your what you think is the dream They have such a beautiful relationship They have such a beautiful friendship It modeled best friendship for me. It modeled like we all wanted our Diana Berry. We all wanted a bosom Even though and in the book, which is interesting, Beie said to me You know, she casts some shade at Diana for not being that as smart or advent or adventurous or creative. She does know that she has more in that department doesn't dim you know what she says is like Diana's terrible at coming up with nicknames for the places like the the Birch Lane and like I let she says I let I let Diana name this one and she came up with Birch Lane whichich was tough. That isn't on par with the Lake of shhining waters, not even close. but she says and she says to Marilla That was the best Diana could do and I'm living with it isn't that true friendship to say like we don't all have to be everything. And Diana is very happy to cheer Anne on when she goes and stays with the the aunt, the elderly rich Annt For her entrance exams, she's so happy for her success. That's what it is begrudge each other's successes. We'll never forget. There's a scene that's burned into my mind. and we gott to save a lot of this for the live show. We have so much work to do. and honestly, Jessica, I will make this happen for us Thank you Okay Yeah, and we'll have the recipe for raspberry Cord. You know I was gifted the Annaree Gables cookbook This is also important. What I want to pray though is that there is a moment when they are at the the fuck they are, but An Anne gets up and does her The resitation of the highwayman. The highway manan Oh, I know what you're say to this day one of the most moving performances I've ever seen. That's right.t I didn't love how her hair was. Neither did I. But it's the first It was her hair It was the time. had strange tendrils, like Hidicia tendrils. It wasn't great. but Hi That night at the ball. Gilbert king ignores her. I mean he turns his back to her Yeah, he leaves. He leaves. No, that was your not the Christmas ball. Christmas ball is very young, but When she looks out in the audience, she looks out in the audience and he's there. And then he gone, girl. He leaves. He was with the date too. That's right And she wanted to wanted to take her because he wanted to take her. She said no said no. She said no The way Diana came running over to her delivers that ye. and literally holds her up in that moment holds her body up. It was so beautiful That's the thing like Diana and Gilbert may have had whatever they had. There's chemistry there, I'm sure, but it's like Diana also saw him destroy her best friend and knew that her best friend had one chance to go back out into that room and meet these very influential people And had she just fallen apart, She wouldn't have been able to like be there. That was her night Gilbert was a dick when he left. We understand why he left. He was in pain. He's in pain Yeah, and honestly, I actually don't blame him. It's like at a certain point Gil Eough is enough. And he's like, he has to Gilbert is so fucking hot. It's crazy. Now there are certain times he's not as hot Do you know what I'm talking about? There's certain time he harses he gets a little doughey. Silly Billy. Silly Billy.ittle Silly Billy and a little bit too pale and pasted. Too pale. Exactly. But when they' Oh, when he when he gets consumption or whatever it ismost dies and he says it was always you. And then they meet on the bridge He's never looked more beautiful. That's to me, it sends shivers on my sine. It's the most beautiful scene Like how did they capture that? Oh my Godd. Anyway, we're going to save yeah, this is obviously I mean, there's enough of us out there who have so many thoughts and feelings and you know, I've been to Annegrrene Gables' actual house twice Twice I went to Prince Edward Island And it's not easy to get to. It's actually quite hard. And my family was like, what are we here for? This is weird. But yah, so that's a wonderful idea and June, you did show up to, I had an An and Green Gables themed Christmas party before we all had kids when we were first married and you did show up in costume. nobody else was So much fun. He looked like a sister wife before the sister wives were on the scene. But yeah, we're gonna be in full costume Hir. We're old enough to have our hair up We are It's going to be parasols to the side. It's going be great. That's exciting. That's something to really look forward to. But all of that is to say. I don't know how we got on Diana Berry, but goodbyes, goodbyes. Well, just I just want to just just one more moment, which is when Diana gets married And she leaves Anne is by herself And she has a sweater that she puts around her andly what you're talking about And she walks home. She walks home And she comes home and Merla iss like Why are you home so early? I thought you would stay And she just says You know, once Diana left, I just didn't feel like being there anymore This is the weirdest this podcast is ever I would know exactly what you're talking about. I I end like remembering that sweater The yeah blue it was a blue chunky sweater that obviously Marilla had probably knitted her and she put it around her shoulders and Because you know, just like Diana had to watch her leave, you know, she has to watch her. We don't always do things in lockstep with each other as women We like to be the same If we can But we can't always be the same And That can hurt our hearts. even when we're happy for them H. You know, men, I know men have friendships. She is he I don think they do. I was trying to be peated This saw something a TikTok the other day that made we laugh so hard She was like, you know, it's so funny. L I don't know what Philosopher woman said this, I can't cite anything anymore, but it was she was like, you know We're so messed up, like the patriarchy is so silly and stuff because really if you think about it, The world is only women and their children I was like, o whoa Yeah, we're just women and their children. Yeah, we're the exactly. That's sort of it. And the rest of it is just sort of orbiting around Well women and their children. That's it. That's all we are. That's all we are comprised of When we were in Samiguel, my father booked a chocolate tour and it was led by a man who we believe was high on a hallucinogenic drug And it was supposed to be a tour of molee, different moleays. And we had to exit, but he did say some things about the history around Sammiguel that we don't know to be true or and false, but what he did say is was back in the day a maternal society a matriarchal society And women, when they found their mate, their husband husband would have to pay them five beans take them on And it It sounds about right. And I mean, like I say this, by the way, men are comp When I say women and their children, the world is made of women and their children. Men are in there, right? And that's wonderful. And it is an honor to be a woman's child Of course, in that society, they would actually the men were in the armies But it was the women who would decide whether or not they would go to war It was just known that like that was how it went. It was a completely different society. B Beans Yeah, they would have to pit again, Bebe was looking at me like this guy is not seeing us You know there's something different going on behind his eyes And my God so my God. Yeah, I think about that a lot. I think about it a lot. I think about it a lot Let's take a very quick break and we're gonna come right back. There's more to discuss Please don't leave us best summer pieces are the ones you don't have to think twice about. That is why I love Qintince. Quintince makes elevated essentials using premium materials like European linen, organic cotton and washable silk. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen, so you're paying for quality materials, not inflated markups One piece I have been so obsessed with is their one hundred percent European linen midi dress. It has this effortless like throw it on and go to Provenancece energy. It has just become one of those pieces that lives in rotation because it simplifies getting dressed and it looks so chic Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to quintince dot com slash dive for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Now available in Canada too. 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Explore the full Defender lineup at landrooverususa. com We're back I So funny, I thought I'm absolutely bereft again thinking of king of all the things you said and you bringing up that sweater, you do have the memory of a fucking elephant. It's crazy. It's crazy what you are storing up there, just. It really is. It's so wild. It makes then more sense that I can't remember anything that's in the present moment. It really does, actually Be I'm like How do you have all that? How did you have that sweater? How did you have that exchange, those lines Everything. I have everything that I've ever watched and every person that I've ever loved and everything they've said in there, but I don't remember that like I have to bring BeB to get her allergy shot today. I will forget. Well I had a really I had a really tough moment because if you think I booked one camp for the summer year, of course wrong. So I was frantically scrambling last week. Becauseuse you know, the kids needed something to do next week We are legitimately traveling a lot this summer, but I was like, oh God, I the g. They were asking me, what are we going to do? We want to do something. And because they're at a stage now where they want to be out and with their friend Yeah they want to wr something. What are our friends doing? And so Mter This one kid in class I called I I texted his dads, you know, put them on the text together, They're divorced, but I just threw them on together And I said Guys always have anything planned for next week? Gus would love to like jump in on it. I know it's last minute, but there anything G'veot got nothing going on next week, anything Boys are brewing Well, they wrote back Oh. They're doing the tennis camp that You told us about Oh no. and said that Gus was going to Oh Let see if we can get him in. Could you get him in By the way, I did. Oh, thank God. I did. But it was so tough to be told like, yes, we are doing something. The thing that you told us about and said he was going to. And I was like, right Right right, right, right, right, cool, cool, cool Got it I said so that's great. I'll do that then. Thank you. Like it was so. Do you know some of these? And all of these parents in my life are so kind. you know, they handle me with such gentleness and kindness. Really appreciate her And you know, I'm also on a group text with some really significant moms. and we had the last three days. you know, the weird week where like they're out of school for two days, but what are you going to book? There's nothing to book for three days. So we were Hurting them all Dither in dither, someone took them to six flags He look that dad looked like he had been beaten up in like a fight club when at the end of it. He was like, he goes, you know, it wasn't six flags and the heat exhaustion that got me. It was them all singing on the way home It something about being trapped in the car with them makes me want to throw myself out the window. It does. I get it. and it's so hard because it's like you can't put You can't put your Air Maxes on. You're big in. Can't But they would drive so Bbe and her friend were so rude to me as I was driving them to the grove that I said one more word out of each of you. And I'm gonna throw you in the Lbrea tarpets and your death will be so slow that you'll have time to think about what your mothers are trying to do for you to create joy And you know what I loved was seeing her friend's eyes wide in the back Like I can't believe this mother that's not mine is saying this. such things. Yeah, hear me and I mean it. Yeah and see all of all us types. You know, maybe M doesn't spe to you this way, but like who cares? mine lays down. Like there's all types and mine lays down. Ys brings you to six flags and mine tells you one more Word. That is rude. That's what's going to happen to you And then You know, okay, we dropped them off and one mom who I just love was just like, guys, can anybody drive Nivey home? Like these are you know, we're trying to get. And I just wrote, guys, I think that and someone was like, I got her. And I said, I think this is what Hillary Clinton said when she said, it takes a village. And then I wrote, imagine how different our lives would be had thingsings gone differently for her The emojis that were coming in, right? And then I said, I want to be very clear, Colin My door is open all summer. If anyone needs to drop their child here at the last minute and I mean it Oh, I did of course. We're not taking each other up on it as much. And then I had to write another text to a friend that said, Are we at the point where I can dump be beyond you for not just For the night, for the night into the morning And she said, we absolutely are. We have to say these things guys. So if you have not texted that to your group modern day, we are not taking advantage of it Well, I am. I know we are. you and I are taking advantage dropping our children ono I am. But well and even yesterday it was last day of school and Gus got in the car samoned on an earlier day and it went back to get gas and child jumped in the car and I said, we're Where are you going, sir? And he said, I'm coming with Gus. And I said, I haven't spoken to your parents about it. And And but the line was moving and I said I go, Yes, we're going. And then I had to text them and say like, I have him. Can I say the sixth grade pizza party And they said Please. And I said, Got it. And then one of them said, we didn't know there was a party. and I said, no problem. And then you know we stayed over till eight A PM at night and took him back home you know, so I I also collect I also collect other children. I laughed so much at this pizza party. Last thing before to wrap it up, just because Then another mom came over to me and said, Are you sure it's okay And I said