Advice on Breast Augmentation

Lemonder. Hi, I'm Jessica Saint Clair, and I'm June Dianea Rayfield. and this is the deep Dive. We're about to do what women have done for centuries. We're crowding around the fire with our generous haunches. We got babies hanging off our tips and we're gonna share with you our fears. That's right, our joys, our tips on how to stay alive. Now Jess, we are heeding a call No one has made Not a soul, but you're invited to listen. Absolutely. because we make one promise and one promise only. We will not Google a thing. ' frankly, we're too damn tired. Please get ready to go on The deep dive Hi Jessica. June How are you, my little busy baver? I'm good. How are you You know something I just learned from the film Hoppers Oh, I enjoyed that movie. I'm just gonna say begg I begged PB to let me see it with her in the theaters and she was like, That's for babies. And I'm like no. It ain't. It ain't It never for adults. It never is. Yeah It is. But I was just watching it and I watched just the first half of it. to hear that beavers are the fulcrum of the animal of the nature in that if they don't dam up That's what allows all of these other animals to come. And I just thought, this was the thought I had. This is totally insane. I thought Who's the beaver right now in my group and it's you You're a busy little beaver and you're damming up a pond. I literally thought about that. Well, no, you're right. Beavers are so Capricorn coated because they say Party they're like, let's party and then they all start to work. And she's like, what are you doing? And they said, work is our party Okay, so I'm trying to remember ' I did see it like first weekend it was out in the theaters, the family It's a beautiful movie. It's a beautiful movie. Why do beavers build their dams But I know how our happbitest That's their house. Okaykay, so that becomes their house Okay, great. And then it ends up being a bigger part of a system Yeah. so beavers There's a beaver that lives where my parents are. And is always up to some fresh lod, But basically their lodges are incredible Because they have multiple rooms So they have what is essentially a mudroom So you get in, I'm swear to God, you get in and you dry off. You shake it off and you dry it off. Then you go into an inner chamber where you're living and you're getting cozy They are people are like blown away by what's up underneath there. We see it as a pile of sticks, but in there, it's actually like a beautiful two bedroom two bath. Two bees and bees Oh my. But what I was thinking about our friends it's like You know I was thinking about how how truly excited I am for for this time for you to like be, you know, promoting this work that you're so proud of and but how busy you are, but also that like it trickles down. you know like we're all a part of it in a way. the ecosystem. Yeah. absolutely. the creative ecosystem which we have Gosh, we have built for ourselves. Let's never forget that. like that. is something I'm really, really proud of that and that's what's hard when people say, you get DM's and stuff and people are like, oh, I want to write or I want to break into. and I'm What should I go to college for and not? And I'm like, well around you people you're in classes with. Do you laugh at the same things You know what I mean? Like you have to build to try to fit into this infrastructure that's already there. Now, you'll get to a certain point in your career. you've established your body of work that yes, you can. and that's great To start off, you'd have to be insane to not try to build within, look around you and say, hey, we're all starting out. let's make something together and together also been mainlining. I just finished it gemstones, righteous gemstones. Again, I'm so late to the every game. There's no one to talk about it with Wellan doesn't want to talk about it with me. Nobody does. And I try and I can't. You know what? Maybe I'll start, Jessica because Paul has Paul has Paul has pointed me to a few, like he was watching it and then he would say, I'm so sorry But you have to stop what you're doing and come watch Edie Patterson do this scene. And then I would walk over and I would watch her fucking. I mean she's she's on she's truly on another level. She's on No, she's ch and I've started to talk nast I started to talk like her. but then I got so obsessed. I was like I need to get a message to Dany McBride and nobody and I will I'll find him. but you should. You know, of course, I wrote my letter to Michael Patrick King. sometometimes we have to I whether it ever anybody ever responds, don't matter. I don't matter because I'm privately Llling in a way, but really then I did I did a deep dive on how he moved his entire group of friends and lastolina. I mean, that's a whole other. It's inspiring. He's in Charleston outside of Charleston L his fucking best life. And when I tell you, they are all raising their kids together, they're on camping trips, they're on the lake. And we are we have our own version of that within here and it's why when people say like, well, wouldn't you want to move out of this salacious city? I'm like, well, no, because what would I do leave all of my My fellow beavers I don't know who's building what dam, but I'll be over there soon enough, you know, or we're in the dam together But I just he reinspired me love Because I think that this business can really isolate and wear you out and to the point where you're like, o, why do why do I even create anything? Like Then you see what someone's done when they've only collected their favorites and just Yeah. They're just making each other L Yeah, it's very special And it is the way It is the way. it's the way of the world. It's the only thing that makes sense Maybe I have to pick up rightes. I have so much you have so much to log and it' like it's like we're in college and you're like, I gota I have to this. I got to cramp for your finals. But also ADHD people cram so easy. Like when I tell you, I finished Gemstones in like three days, and Dan was like, they aren't your friends or family and you're speaking about them Walf Goggins, I'm sorry. I don't even know why I'm wasting time. Casey' on it too Don't even get me started going down there and doing it but I she's doing wig work Of course she is. She takes a blender, the glass part of a blender And smack smashes Stehven Schneider who played my love interest to be have. on the side of the face in a way that is so shocking. And her wigw al load, it's like People are transformed. They're coming into this world that is so specifically built. M Mmhm That it's anyway, what I'll just say to make this global if I can We all are living in our own little beaver pond Okay, we all are connected. That's the theme of hoppers, as far as I can tell. We are all interconnected. We all depend on each other So when you get that feeling of feeling isolated, whether you as a mom, as a single person, as a whatever it is, look to your left and your right, look at where the turtles are, look at where the ducks are Look at the salamanders because if we all can pull together, we can build something quite beautiful. even if that's just you know, your weekly majong group But lifeife And media and all this can trick you that you're alone and that you're in competition And thankfully I've broken out of that mindset and it is due to the righteous gemstones and the film, the feature film Hoververs Okay I mean, Jess, I'm LOL, but you're so absolutely right. It's one of the I think it's the greatest harm that capitalism has ever done is to make us feel like There's not enough space for all of us. and we all got to get ours and shut people out. that we can't take care of each other That did still get ours a thousand percent. in total agreement I Just and I know I'm this is so I know the deeper dive was conceptually meant to recap and take some conversations from the deep dive forward And yeah. I need to return to the deper time we just fish Again, when we're talking about coursework and finals and cramming, it's like Don't Again,'re just talkking about capitalism. I don't mean to say you guys need to be in the academy, but it is starting to be one of those classes that you can't just audit. You have to be there. We have to have you 's I just wanted to follow up because you and I talked about And a lot of times I feel like there's been a cadence to the deeper dive where I will start a story that will take one half hour to tell Yeah You know, one full half hour, which is a note for myself. It is usually a comedy of manners. It is about manners, but it's a big's very Oscar wild. But here's where I'm thinking. Here's what I'm talking about. You told a story about driver a situation with a driver, which was so egregious in his manner of conducting his business. but And we're all telling the story together, you know, because girls can't stop and gaze. We have to scream at each other Fuck, you know, and all of our comments are making us loud. But then we get to the idea of standing up for what is true and right. Tlerating the uncomfortable sitting with it. to a deep diver shares that her father passes and like tenen Retors call her mother to say, when you selling the house? And she's like, should I reach out? I'm like Yeah So like that's where I'm talking about go shallow to go deep Absolutely. but I was thinking about the cadence. You're right, it's very beautiful. and I hope that's what our whole mission is, seems to be We'll find out once we conclude the podcast what it was all for in the end. I I would ever. And by that, you mean when we're dead. I guess I guess I think guess speaking until our last break Gian Hosas like you' hear. Yeah ress, you I was trying to explain it. I was like, you know, to Paul, There is M You listen very deeply. You really do And the way what's happened is me telling a story and then you, and I don't want to say me telling a story because even though you're not you weren't there and don't necessarily know where it's going We are telling the story together. know and I don't know how It's really making me laugh. I was like, God, I had so much fun. I'm trying to understand what the hell happened. And it was really a beautiful kind of art. and I think it has been of like, well, I know I'm telling this story and I know you don't know what's coming next. and yet you seem to be narrating it just as much as I am. Well I scream out You don't pay someone to jerk you off and then have them watch you do it yourself. Well, the other thing to know guys is like sometimes And this might point to when I'm in rehab, we may look back at these episodes and we maybe not find them as funny, But sometimes I'll crack open a can. So in the beginning of the thing, I'm a little more You know but up, which again, as we've said, my natural state is that of being on cocaine. So then imagine what I'm like at the end of it, one canon It's sort of like drunk history. It's like kind of get to see you, you know And in the chat people are like Ohh, yeah, that can't hit or is that can't talk him. Yeah, that can't start to speak. Anyway, it really made me laugh But I did w to tell you just a follow up U I spoke about Air Canada, I spoke about certain some wonderful things about Air Canada, the airlines, And I know I reference it like I Maple leaf flanger LX, which probably photographing today. R That' for the accademy. Yeah. I know I also said like, hey, they're going through some changes too. And I was referencing Air Canada like it was Delta, American, one of the big three. Okay Some people I had never even heard of. And to me, it's so a part of who I am right now as a person Mascara, diet Coke A Canada, Theyir Canada So I did want to just update you on conversation I had with an Air Canada employee. Now another piece of feedback for them is I couldn't I decided to stay in Canada this weekend and not come back. and there's There's some very that was a difficult decision because I'll have to be away for a week. but I'm like, I felt like I was starting to break down. And'n I tried to explain to Dan. I was like She leaves from Sunday to Tuesday, gets back on a flight from Thursday, comomes home Friday night. like he goes out the amount of reation. Like I don't know if Like it's not like NASA tests Yeah astronauts to see if their muscles are breaking down or like are they getting enough saturation in terms of oxygen? That's where I'm kind of getting like a little worse. Absolutely. so I was like trying to get the kids there this weekend. I went through every iteration And Paul' got something So it was ultimately I made the decision I had a flight and I was like, u, I'm going to cancel it Got Take care of myself this weekend. Prepare, you know, just do my. You have to sleep. Yeahleep So I go on the website, I go to cancel the flight. I keep on getting this message, which is like You got to go through reservations. so I'm like, what Okay, that doesn't seem right Well, I call and they say, it's an hour wait, it's half an hour. Can we call you back? And I said, Yeah, you can I never believe. I never believe they're going to call me. Now they I know it's so hard to believe, isn't it? Hard to trust It really is and as much as hard. As much as that recording says You will not lose your place in the queue. You think, how is that possible? That's like our friend, We have a friend who went through AA And I remember her saying because I had gone against ways And she said We is a lot like AA. You have to trust in a higher power ven you don't have a choice even when it's telling you to do something else like Your instinct is telling you I can do this better. We have to trust that God has us. It's really true because I resisted for three days, okay. I was like, No, I'm gonna stay on. I'm gonna fucking stay on And then at a certain point, someone would call that I'd have to talk to or something would happen. I'd end the call And then finally, I was like, I'll give over Call me back. Well, they did call, but I wasn't there Mm. M M stuff That's hurts That stuff So I'm gonna tell you what, how I'm gonna take a quick break, I'm gonna tell you what happened in just a second We'll be right back Jessica with summer basically here, I keep catching myself thinking, I'd much rather be planning a trip than doing the mental math of can I actually afford this trip M And that's exactly where my partners at monarch come in Monarch isn't just another advertiser. It's an AI powered personal finance app that is actually run by deep divers, real life deep divers, accademy members, and women of significance. And you can get your first year of Monarch for half off just fifty dollars with promo code dive. What I like about it is that it actually shows you what's going on with your money instead of just dumping numbers at you. 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One piece I have been so obsessed with is their one hundred percent European linen MII dress. It has this effortless like throw it on and go to Provence energy. It has just become one of those pieces that lives in rotation because it simplifies getting dressed and it looks so chic Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to quinince dot com slash dive for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's QuNcE dot com slash dive for free shipping and three hundred sixty five day returns Qince d. com slash dive. Now think everyone needs to be thinking to themselves. These are Canadians Their rules are different Well, so I have been it had been a three day process during this process. I had also been going back onto the website because I I've done so much work on this app Moving as I told you on the deeper dive, love the interface. findind it very user friendly irst takeake a bye. Go to reservations. Okay. Now what I'm finding our reservations is utter chaos. And I'm like, how many people are reaching out to Air Canada at a given time N so I so Yesterday, I had to go to set really early in LA and I was like, I'm gonna call on my way to Sony. They can call me back. I'm the only one in to makeup trailer I am right there. Well, they did call me back and my phone was on silence On the way back yesterday afternoon, I thought Jen It't take fights in three days. This is it call, I press one call me back I get home, I happen to look down. sometometimes my phone doesn't ring. and I don't know if anyone else struggles but my dad, my elderly dad, just says my phone never rings. And I'm like, well Mom doesn't always want to talk to me. It's a crazy way to live. Mostly when I call, she's like, It's like, I know I've tried it Getcha And I I am struggling there as well. I do need some tech support there because sometimes it does, and then sometimes it doesn't. And I couldn't tell you why So I happen to glance down and see it rining. And I'm like answer and she says, Hi, I'm an agent from Air Canada. I say you called before, canan I help you with this? She goes, you have a couple of flights coming up. I said, I know I said, I want to cancel this weekend. she looks at it and she goes the flight Oh yeah. well, it's A short time you had in Los Angeles. Makes sense And I go Hey Oh, this one Im talking about Canadian I said whyy is she thinking about your well beinging? This is I don't know.. And we went through some so I said, yeah I go, butook why am I having to do this? You seem lovely, but why am I having to do this? It's taking me so long to get to you And she's like, I am so sorry about that. She goes, well, to non reffundable I don't remember doing that. This is when I tell you things are slipping away and never book refund. I can't resist I'm like, I did And she's like, yes. I said, Oh no Shes just like, we'll get you the credit because it seems like you're going back and forth. you'll use it. I said You're an elite member. You're an elite. Yes. Well. That's the interesting thing. I'm actually not. Now why I haven't joined the points program Well, that's mental. You're like, if I join it, then I think I live there No. It has been like Jessica strange act of resistance. that only hurts me Joining points equals giving up your U S. citizenship. Every time I get on the flight, I have to pay for Wiifi. and if you're in aeroplane, which is what they call it meember, you don't. Yeah, I know. this is wild. And it's like, what does it cost me to give them my email and create a password What would that cost me giving a boyfriend a key feels that way. So I've I've M takaking that strange stance that again only harms me, but I said well, I do Do you have a united? I always put my united points on there And She's like, Ohh yeah, I see that. okay. okay. She goes, well Do you fly United a lot? And I said, I try not to me hate it. you hate? We hate it. We hate it Soough I've strangely been getting points on an airline like I hate Everybody hates it So she's just trying to understand this, what I've laid out to her, which is like ye She guys, can I sign you up for airplane right now I said no. That' No againain, Jessica, it was gonna do the legwork for you. You wouldn't do it. I in. It just so strange And I think it's because Paul would sign you up like five seconds later. If you texted him right now, Bab, sign me up for. He loves that. He loves the task. You know what, though, Bab. It's their task. I also I think for some reason, I grew up in a family where if you were checking out and they'd say, Hey, D we do you want a CVS membership Yeah The answer was always no. and I don't know if we thought they were tracking us. L I don't know The answer was always no and defiantly Like you don't have me. And every time I would find the cashier saying to my father, like, we're only trying to help you He was like, nowah, I'm notllowing N son, I'm not falling for that. Yeah We didn't want to be a part of that system. Right. That's why it was only only a reward system That's why Lura Kindred So many talents, but one is that she's a points, Maven When she looked at me and said, you're going to put X amount, an enormous amount of money on a credit card pay for your boobs. I could get you round trip in business class to France if we open this credit card. I was like, I don't deserve that. I't I'm not a points person. Points are not But now I'm playing that points game. I'm going to Barcelona, three tickets premium economy and I did it alone And it's a high stakes game And I did transfer one hundred fifty thousand points to British Airways by accident I flat too close to the sun. Okay. And I w to go to London again You have. I have to. People can't get them out. No, peopleople who transfer points, that's That's a market That's the sort of like, that's inside trading to me. I was shaking. I was shaking and It is because Laura, I was like, Laura This is a good deal saidid you have to take it Take it now, but you're always like there might be a better deal or there may never be a deal And you the moment they come on and they come off that fast. In minutes. It's like when you see, you know the floor of the New York Stock Exchange and people are crazily passing little pieces of paper and stuff. It's like that what it feels like Yes. and never forget when I was Assistant to the host of Moneyline, which is the most famous economic news show, I said, What is the bell Really, what is the bell? I was like, what closing bell is it a bell? Who rings it? And what does it mean I don't know what the bell is. I don't know what any of that means to be quite honest It wasn't my business. No. I'd also have business. You know, I wouldn't read any newspapers. It was like badge of honor, much like this is just like you not joining Air Canada. I was like, I'm not here. This isn't my career even though it seems to be my only job and my only career Yeah. but I'm not here So I would ref to read every single newspaper before the morning meeting because we are supposed to pitch on stories And Not only would I not do it, But when they would say Like, oh, and Jessica, you're on the Uzbekistan story. I'd be like, Uhuh. and then I'd have to phonetically try to sound out What Uzbekistan was And that might take me another hour and a half Now you are what I feel like you did a lot of time in your twenties in cororporate America or media America as the personality her. Yeah, but then my personality would sour. They would be like, well, you don't do anything and you fuck us up. and then the other so then There is a very famous and I mean famous. She's our age reporter anchor She came on to replace me in my role Now again, I was being fired, but I was being sent away I was being sent away to a different show I'm going tell you who that what that show was. but I was sent away Like when you're like, we didn't kill the dog, we sent it to a farm. Right. Right. I was really rehomed. I was rehomed And the woman you took over, she's young, She's my age I said, well, every Tay We get this anchor her arrugula salad with shavings of Parmesan oil and vinegar, oil and lemon on the side And we go down to the we go down to the TikTok cafe. Oh, and I think it was like a scoopa cottage. I was like, we go down to the TikTok Tch cafe and we pick it up And she said Oh I won't be doing that And I said, What? She wases, I'm not here to order lunch Now This woman also told me that she slept in bed with her budgie parakeet on her pillow. that she tucked her bird Is she been with her every night? This is a famous news anchor. as successful as they come And she said, I have this bird and I tuck it into bed and it puts its little bee on a pillow every night Now that could if I went out on with that story, imagine page six t her down or credibility down Wow. tell you bird lovers out there. It's weird. I didn't know they slept laying down. I thought they slept sitting up. I've never yeah, it's like I feel I feel Like I thought the only time they ever laay down was when they were ready to die. So. Anyway, that's how she rocketed into Stardom I'm not here. That's not in my scope. And I was like, power All I do is get the salad. That's right for the day Whnce I get this salad? We're done Iook hair and makeup and I don't do that right. and then I go home and Right. And I'm sure in your mind, you're like, I don't want to I want to get the salad because if I'm tasked to do anything else I'm going to get rehomed again You want to know where I was rehomed This is the saddest. Tale of shame. They said, Jessica, we're going to send you down to Washington, DC. And I said, Okaykay, finally, I'm going to get m You know, what do you want me on the steps reporting live from Congress What's Congress? If you ask me to tell you what the legislative and judicial system or how the House of Representatives work, I truly could not tell you But I was like, all right, time for my Washington chapter. They said There's a gentleman named Tucker Carlson who we are giving a shot to on CNN And you're going to be in crew Now I said Okay, and they're like, you're going to have to work nights because we're only to try this guy out, he's going to be on nights or something. And I was like sounds weird So I had a vampiric lifestyle down there for two months where I all night to be with just me and Tucker And Most of our time together wasas him trying to tell me that I needed to arrange his private plane in Nntucket And me staring at him and being like, bow ties on this guy. He's too old for this. And Khakis, what's up with this dude? And I thought Two of us, I go, if there's anybody who's not gonna succeed in the news, it's me And this gentleman Tucker 'Cuse this guy is a fucking piece of shit Oh. So then I actively was like, I will not do work for this m. like cut of his jym and I don't like him. so I would sit there and do everything else And he was like, obviously had me rehomed again He'd be like, you get those art? I'm like, noope I feel like that's if you ask me, have you been politically active? I say yes Yeah. I tried to take him down. I didn't know who he was, but I knew he wasn't up to something good Wow, Dessica, I swear I'm sure so many of our deep divers agree with me. I would love to write about your early twenties, whenever this time was when you had a stint in like big media When Lou Dobbs took at the computer and hurled it against the wall at a person And it's shattered in a million pieces. And instead of being afraid, I thought this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me When all of these people are whistleblowers or it was horrible. I was like, yes What else? You were there for the drama, You were there for the story I was there for him telling his like long time Whatever the person stands on the thing it says, you're on in five, four, three, two. He was like, you're fired. about something And then She weeps through the rest of the thing And then at the end of it, he goes, just kidding Now he then very soon after tried to carry a revolver onto a plane. And so then that was the end of Lou Dobbs Gan also calls me the Black widow. Like a lot of times when I show up on a show, it might mean that that's the last episode you'll ever see of it. So You know, know that Well, it was like what Iill sucker CQuly don't kill Tucker and you try. Empire I tri Thank you Oh my goses, I'm LOO. I'm LOO. I really do want to just like keep that in your mind. L it's a really interesting, especially knowing who some of these men became and women. L it's a really interesting world Long story short to wrap up this conversation I have with the Air Canada agent. Yeah, sorry, I didn't even know where we started. No. I needed every second of that She was confused by why I wasn't going to join You know, spash especially considering how many flights she was staring at. You could I don't know where else Air Canada goes But you'd be surprised some of these small carriers. will have a strange direct flight to Minorca from Vancouver. You just don't know. You're sitting on a gold mine. Laura if she's listening and I hope she isn't because I hope she gets enough of us in real time. She's she's just so upset by the story Be you can transfer these to the bigger airlines I mean, I did. I am getting points on United that I don't want. You know, none of this makes sense. Maybe I can take those out and put them somewhere else. That's high level work, as you said, and it's scary to me I believe points stay where they are. That's my limiting belief And that you can't ever access them.. I have points like few points on like little places and the idea of I don't know, some sort of like someome sort of event where they all combineed It like nuclear fuge triggering event. yeah. L it's Sary to me and I don't know why It should be. sometimes and sometimes toys get locked behind doors and I've been on Reddits where they're like I can't access like Iberia airlines is like who knows who runs them. But once Sometimes you're getting deals over there, but like Sometimes they get locked behind a paywall. you can't get out. And some European websites, I guess they just don't care Customer service in Europe is not what it is here. They don't actually care. I will say this woman on Air Canada once she got past my strange stance She was then like, okay, yeah, I think I think you're making the right decision because is this is a really quick trip unless you have something me to do there and I go and then I go I was just trying to see my kids Now I realize like now looking back how Crazy that sounded it was true. It is true. trying to see my kids And she goes, o, I mean, well Is there another way you can do this trip or is there She strucker B that. She's a Canadian But you also haven't given her context because she's like why don't this a custody battle? is this Are you are you from the military, active military? She doesn't we salute your service. She doesn't know. No. And I'm so tired and exhausted that I don't really give her much. I'm just like, I just trying to see my kids. and she's like, oh Well, is there another way we can try to because you have that credit? And I said, You know what? I've tried to get them there this weekend. I said, but I can't really figure it out. I was going fly them unaccompanied, but I have to work Friday night so I can't really pick them up. You know, I'm taking her through this and she's like, oh gosh Well Is there someone else that could flush She goes, well, couldn't use this ticket on them Because it's got to be in your name with this credit situation Jessica, this is so beautiful Beautiful country Cant I home. She's fraught. And I didn't have it in me strangely, much like the aeroplane membership Soo make it better for her and to say, well, the only thing I offered, she's like, well When can you see them again And I said She's so wored good. She' so worried about me. I know We all are. I mean that's I know. I know go I go, well, I'm with them right now. And she goes, Oh, great. And I go, but I just got here and I had to work today. so I didn't see them. I was out before they got up. and she goes, please you see them tonight Oh myotll. But this it was so beautiful. I know. So I did want to share that that Canada cares Care. Listen. Canada is always like a US, I think I said this onay we like we forget they exist, even though they're like three times the size of our country We're like, o, Canada so clean, so polite Guess what? Turns out, their pond is crystal clear and ours is sucking drying up very, very kind person, you know and it's It's like I didn't have know for to say like I'm okay, you know, and it's okay, donon't worry. You know, I did you to. No, but I did I lie. But and I left her really I could tell. I left her Fg She's carrying for you. She is yeah, and I sort of handed it over to her and that was a part of, I guess the transaction. U But it you went. What a beautiful I have to say though, there is such a bond between mothers and women each other because natural for us to care take. each other She wanted to get me home to see the kids. And she said, I think at one point, she said, well, It's such a quick trip and and I know I said initially it doesn't make sense, but maybe it's worth it. Maybe it. And I said it doesn't make sense. and I've had to I've had to come to terms with that. Again, I'm not offering her though even that I'm working there I said, I just can't do it this weekend. I can't do Ustand. I think it it's unspoken that something that is something that you have to do again, I don't know if she thought I was in some legal battle or in recovery of some sort, but she I did not move. onene Iota to make it Clear better comfortable In I knew what was happening and I handed it to her to be with and to have her day with. Jessica we willll be back. In just one minute, we have to take a quick break Every bold journey starts with a decision to go, and if you're ready, the Defender is too. This is a vehicle built for more, whether you're heading off the grid or just getting out of town for the weekend. 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I got it on Craigslist and I don't know if I told you, J, whatever. Anyway, it was a terrible situation, but I went to the pharmacy and I couldn't speak. even enough to tell and we didn't really have cell phones. I couldn't type it out. I would have to write it out and two draged Basically not drag. They were queens They were queens understood And they swept in and they said, oh, honey, she can't speak. And they were talking about me like Shelby, like I wasn't there. They were like, this poor thing can't speak. I managed to get out You know, and they were like, oh Godd and they looked at my haircut. they're like, this poor thing thinks she's going to get on friends. L where so they went and they got me the things. And then they said, Can we take you home? put you in bed And I said, than it's okay. But it was enough that they knew that I was suffering. I didn't need them and that would have been strange But is and sometimes we I mean, I did this with you a few weeks back when nobody knew. I said I was sick for a few days and then I told everybody that I was fine. was it No, no. I actually was like, oh no, this I was like And I didn't tell anyone Somebody has to know. Somebody has to carry it for you. You unfortunately didner I said, Jessie, I have consumption. You know, I'm struck with it again. And it's so deep in my body that I don't even know if it will ever go away. It was so Deep and spooky Well, I was remembering, I was writing about it actually my first surgery when I got my butt putting into my boobs And I hadn't heard or read any of the fine print that said like they have to like first make them big and then they can make them bigger less if you want in the next revision. They first have to make sure the tissue doesn't die. And when I woke up and I saw these big o old knockers, I was so upset, angry, freaking out. And I was in the exam room and I took a picture of me that I mean, the pictures that women housed On their phones So horrific Yeah. And now I remember them Not only things, okay are terrible, but also things like Like I've now had several friends who are like, I'm going to be cleaning out my parents' horder house. And then they always say, I'm going to send you some pick. I'm like, please don't, but they need me to see what they're seeing. And I have to take it like a little bitch. And I texted you and Casey and I was like, this is hard. And you guys were like No, no, no, no, no Just like in Star Wars, these are not the droids you're looking for. These are not the boot not in your final form No, and then you said and if they end up bigger, I'm o Hey with that I think it's one of the and I want everybody to hear this is considering a breast augmentation lift, whatever Women always majority, okay? Of course you're and heavier or whatever M of us just just gals, you know, who who want to get our bodies back before breastfeeding or whatever We are too conservative preach. We don't think we deserve maybe the boobs that we want or like dream of. weird thing. It is I because I think we're also I think something that's happening is like we think we're giving them to men. And so it's like we don't want to give that over. And but I do think that most women who've had Soobs shops, augmentmentsations, lifts whatever, wish they had gone a bit bigger. It's so funny because bless my surgeon. He said now he was should have been more scared of me because I was Absolutely. And I kept using offensive southern accents to his face like I don't know what you think Big is and Nin But I don't want people throwing beans at me And they don't say Nins. That's nobody says that there. That's like a that's a southern trope. it's offensive And then he said Maybe try your ses on for the summer. You know what they say, ses have more fun and ice cream. I'm a bee be don't Fun And then I stormed out. I mean, I was out of my mind Can I just say Cs do have fun They have a whole lot of they got a mess of fun. You know what? It's really if anyone's listening and thinking like, oh, I've just always had bees and I love bees or whatever. Great that wonderful and you should get whatever you want. but just know if there's a conversation happening where you're like don't want to go a little bit bigger. I want to go exactly the same as I had or whatever. justust know they I think the vast majority of women regret going notot going a little bit bigger. If you're curious. If you're C curious go for it. Yeah And also know and this is for women who have breast cancer There's this whole thing of like, I don't wan to feel like this ever happened to me. I want to be just the same as I ever was But like if you find yourself looking on Pinterest and Googling Jennifer Aniston's boobs and looking at them and being like, oh my God, like I love those boobs. Like those boobs are bigger than you think. And they're fucking gorgeous. I mean, they should be in the museum of television and radio. They are absolutely gorgeous. Go back to Vintage Friends, cheheck out her boobs, okay? Check out her boobs now. I mean you're like No, check I mean, because then you can she's always in a tank, right? Yes, you just see more, but I really do think that this is an important PSA because Eespecially for women who have breastces. You you and I' talked about, I know another woman who felt the same exact way, which was like, I have to get exactly what I am Bye Why This is your chance to live your best life. And I do think also like after we kids and There's a lack. there's sort of for me, I was like separated a bit from my femininity in like this way of like my body is a vessel now and it's not really whatever. And I have to tell you these ses have brought me back to life back to life back to reality reggardless Just like people are worried about joining the arrow points and Just don't be afraid of seize. Don't if you know, don't Get what you want. to watch too have fun and have fun with it. Weve And I know it's hard because I know people are like, well, God, it's a permanent decision. If I go too big, I'd rather go too small. And I do hear that But I do think it's important to recognize if you have a trusted surgeon, that most women wish they had done a little bit more Can I just say one more thing, which is that A friend Whose eye you trust which was you, really and Lennon, of course But it get a friend whoses I you trust who might push you just a tiny bit out of your comfort zone because they are going to be your advocate about what could be fun We' got one go around on this spinning rock ue It's not a dressed rehearsal. This is it. This is it I thing with like what you're comfortable dressing in Yeah, this is it Don't hide your light under a bushel Look at what Italian nonas look like on the fucking beach Dint hiding it in a one piece, honey They are draped in gold. They are as tan as can be and they are in bikinis. Oh God, that's awesome. That's aw so hot, so hot. Anyway, that being said, if you guys listen The Deep Dive Academy were doing a huge sale for the summer So you can use code summer twenty six, that's all caps summer twenty six half off your first month at the accademy.