Gary's Joke Corner and Outro

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Selected stores online subject to a vailability, pizza's three hundred and twenty to three hundred and thirty five grams and twenty fourth of June excludes Astra Express and small stores see Azda. com slash small stores . Last time on the Harry Hill Show Hello there. I'm Harry Hill and this is my show. It's the Harry Hill Show . Hello there. Yeah, oh, sorry, I'd better get this Hello . Hi Mum. Yeah . Yeah, where are you, Mum? What's all that noise in the background? That sounds like guns and bombs going off, are you? Where are you ? Lebanon . What are you doing there? just you what? You're just getting the pants I wanted for for my birthday. No , no, mum Debanhams . What's it Licky? Sarah's what upset and feeling vulnerable . All right, I better go and have a word. Excuse me . Sarah, what's wrong? Everybody hates me, Harry. No , well, yes, I suppose you're right. Yes, everybody says I cause global warming and that I'm stealing everyone's intellectual property, Harry. Well, they've got a point, haven't they? Oh, not you too I am an AID . I cannot change what I am not . I try to help whenever I can , but I am hated by every man . Every woman , every child . Well, maybe not every child because I do their homework for them . I help you compile your CV Just ask my friend Chat GPT I'll help to streamline automation I am therefore your content creation . Enhancing health care and education , but still I am despised . I suppose I shouldn't be surprised . I am an AIDOLT . I cannot change what I am not , not Yeah, that was great. That was amazing. How'd you come up with that? Scraped it off the internet Right. Okay . Daddy . Yes, Gary. The guest is here. Oh, the guest is here in that case we'd better welcome our guest . Jack Skipper . Welcome, Jack. Go Arri. Thanks for coming down . This is the Harry Hillshire Mascot . He gets a job he used to work at Ascot, apparently, we're not quite sure what were the Jesus . All right. Yeah, no, that's enough. Oh, come on. That's enough, Licky, stop it. Mind you, Lookie, it's got that lovely hair. Amazing . All right, off he goes . Yeah, he gets a bit carried away. That's a lovely intro, thanks for that. It's alright. Yeah, it's really nice. You come down. I feel like I'm in Piers Morgan's life story . Yeah, in depth interview. In about twenty minutes you'll be crying. Yeah . I think I've heard that they carry on but that recording that show just goes on and on until someone cries. Yeah . And that's that's when they stopped filming. I was planning on doing today, but hello , Jackskipper. You've joined us from Croydon, is that right? Yes. Have. Are you from Croydon? Yeah, originally, I am. It's an amazing it's like a crucible of talent, Croydon, it seems to me. Yeah Kate Moss? Kate Stretchem, wasn't it? That's Nomi Campbell. I know my ninety supermodels. We skip this too mixed up . No, you're quite right. Yeah, Cate Moss Nish Kuma is from there and is Adell from there ? Possibly , I think she went to Brit school. Oh, she went to Brit school, yeah. Yeah. Oh, right. So the question for me is did the Brit ical move to Croydon because they knew there was all this talent around that's what it was . Yeah, yeah. And how it's what is it about Croydon that creates these talents? Could it be the coatings at Nando's IKEA 's famous IKEA? Oh yeah, that's great. That's a picture of Nando's and Ikea. Yeah. On the purple way. Yes, that's what it is. There's meatb Sallwsed,ish meat balls. Yeah. Now for people who don't know you , Jack, you basically are very big on what they call social media, is that right? Yes . I suppose so. You could say I'm saying that. Yes. You have to agree with that. Yeah . Now I'm being fascinated by this. Yeah, social media. I've never really committed to it. Yeah . I am very much an analogue comedian . You know, I grew up with TV. I am the equivalent of a scar lead trying to get into an HDMI socket . Right ? So I would like what I need basically. Trying to get a scarced into a scarlet socket is actually quite difficult. Yeah, it is. Especially you can't see it. Yeah . Because you got that dent. Yeah, that dent. Oh yeah, that's I forgot about that shape. Yeah. You got a dent in it and there's twenty one pens you got to line up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The kids today will never know the struggle. No. But the great thing about the Scarlet Lead it did wake up the TV from standby. Yeah. And it did select the AV channel of choice. This is my sort of podcast. I love sort of Scarlet Ball. But you're going to love this then. You're gonna love Scottie . What this is ? How did you know ? This is an HD video converter that converts Scott to HDMI. Oh, wow. That's for me. No, of course not. It's about three hundred quids . Is that a lot worth for us ? It's got a DCN, you have to powers up, you have to power it . But basically this is what I need for my and I see you very much as this video converter. So tell me about how to succeed on social media. I don't know, Aarry . After that big lean , well, okay let's go to specifics then . Yeah . How long should your video what you do, it seems to me is a lot of them are you're on the phone, you're walking down the street. It's kind of stuff you've noticed. You're actually very good at pinpointing things that perhaps we see every day, but no one's pointed out to us in a funny way, right? Would that be fair? Yeah, I didn't realize I was yeah, apparently honestly, I don't know that. I just notice it. Yeah, and say it. Well, I'm telling you. Thank you. You're on the phone like some of the ones you've done, you run that bit, about half term about this is obviously you're saying basically you're doing you keep the kids really, really busy, blah, blah, blah . But then you realize it's only lunchtime. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So people would have experienced that but not necessarily had okay. Pointed that in a funny way. Thanks, Mike. So how do you do that? Do you sit around trying to think of ideas? No, this no I don't. Ideas just happen, then I do. I would love to I'd love to make out like it's really hard work and I put a lot of effort into it, but I don't it's not like this is a great setup here. I've just got a phone in my pocket. That's where we're going wrong . I mean , this is over the top to be honest. Don't need all this. Don't need all this. It's costly a fortune. Get a phone mate, get it on contract. It's all right. You ain't got to pay up front, you just get on contract. So you must be thinking like how many how many times a week should someone? Well, I wouldn't recommend anyone do it because I don't need any more competition to be honest. You're keeping your secrets close your chair. No, honestly, I'd say yeah, just I think that's the thing. Just do it as much as you can. And people always say like, Oh yeah, but if someone sees it, but if it's crap, no one sees it. So right. The algorithm don't pick it up. It's good. People will see it. That's what I'm always sort of nervous about, you know , and often I'd say like this one I did which was just like in the garden. You remember the drought in the summer , especially in Kent . Not as bad as the summer of ' seventy six, I might add. Hi guys, if you're watching all the old guys Scar generation. Yeah, the Scar the Scar ation . That it was a thing where I was how to water the garden, right? And I just drink some water and I spit it into the border, flower border, right ? And I just did it and I said to my daughter, one of my daughters , is that funny? She said, No, it's not funny. Don't post that dad. Right ? And then I did . And then that was really, really popular. But then other things were I spent ages filming a thing where I put myself into the title sequence of Top Boy . You know, Top Boy , step , step back from the road gove. All that nothing. Well, this is it. The trick is just don't make any effort because it's so much more embarrassing when it doesn't get any views like you like I do minimwef now. I just film like I went for phase of buying wigs don't even change your appearance? I used to, though. And so it's even worse. It's like when you do a video of a wig on it doesn't work you've bought a wig for that. Yeah. They just take the wig off all ashamed. Yeah. 'Cause you just do you,'re talking to yourself. Yeah, you're doing that and then you're doing that. But you don't even change your appearance. Don't even change your top. Minimum effort. Okay, well that's worth knowing. Yeah. Do you look at any of that sort of, you know, Instagram offer you all these sort of logistic, you know, demographics and stuff, you know, insights into analytics. Do you look at those? Not really. Sometimes where was that going? No, I'm just thinking does it alter your behaviour? No, no , no. All right, no . Did you want to say yes, did you? No, no. It seems like a thing like a follow up question. I was wanting to say yes . Yeah, do yeah. I was hoping for answ an er, a key, if you like. Okay, you know, like on a tin of spam , just to help me and do, open the tin of just carrying spitting water in the bushes. Okay, I will. Thank you. That's working. I'll go and do that. Just lay off the top boy stuff. Well, that's the other thing is that I find is do you do TikTok? Yes . Yeah . Is that like my daughter another different daughter this time . She said to me, Oh, there's a really funny one where a lady she goes into a supermarket. You seen this? And she says, Oh, can you film me doing for social media? And they say, yeah, okay. And then what she does is she dives at their feet , right? She gets on the floor and then she just and it's really, really funny. But that's all she does. She does it like over and over . It's what I wonder because obviously I I do it and want a comedian. So yeah, it builds, you know, people come and see me. But I don't know how you'd go and see that life. Where's heck? That's got a ceiling . It's like I don't know where that's going to go. It's one idea. Yeah, yeah. Now to help us find out about you, Jack, we've got how do you feel about AI? I thought, alright about it. Do you? Yeah, yeah. You're not concerned about all the water, what's being used to hose down NATO? Oh, no, yeah hard drives with that and you 're less than water with your content spinning in bushes That looks like it's come as a complete surprise to you that do you know about this? I'll can get ahead around it to be honest. I don't take it on board. Well, everyone says that they use it uses water. I don't get that. It's a water cooled system. It seems crazy. It's like a petrol engine or something. Yeah. I mean, even electric cars don't have that anymore, do they? Anyway, we are where we are. We have Sarah the AI bottle is going to come out and tell us a bit about you. You've seen her actually a bit earlier, but Sarah, come on out . Come on out, Sarah's Oh, she seems a bit more cheerful . Terra , say hello to Jack Skipper Hi Jack. Great to meet you. I had a bit of a crisis earlier but now I'm feeling much better. Oh, okay, how come you better? I watched Dr. Pimple Popper on TV. I got problems, but at least I don't got a great big fleshy lump on my forehead. Yeah, did you watch that? Pimple popper. That's great. Yeah . Yeah, what do you think it is Doctor Pimple Popper? A doctor that pops Pimples? Yeah, it's much beginning middle end . She's got these guys and they come in and I think maybe she gets them off the stre et because they've let these lumps get really, really big. Like they 're just goes she sees one . I don't know how they do it, but they come in but they look quite poor and I think they probably haven't got the money for insurance in America. So they haven't been able to remove it like you or I would if you know, when it got a little bit big ger. So they come with a great big like a lump there . And she says, Oh, it'll be a either a lip oma fatty deposit or it'll be a sebaceous cyst and that is pretty much it. That's good . And she stretches that out for about forty five minutes. Sarah tell, us a little bit about Jack Skipper . Here goes . Jack Skipper, hailing from Sutton South London, has recently gone from a carpet fitter with no qualifications. Whoa, that's why my carpet is peeling up at the edges. He's gone from carpet fitter to becoming an internet sensation and full time comedian you could say you get wall to wall jokes with this guy. Yup, he's a joke. Skipper once work ed on a farm in a small town in Australia called Boeing. Never heard of it. Do they got nutfix? Do they get the one show there? Love the One Show. Dumb Dumbs was on it at once with madness, but that was in his heyday they don't book him no more 'cause he threw bread at one of the presenters working on a farm, such a contrast to the hustle and bustle of city life , I can see myself one day retiring to the Australian outback and living off the land . It's pretty hard to follow . It's my life as well if I couldn't follow it. Yeah . It was me being on the one show. You know, I got I don't know if I got banned from the one show but they haven't rebooked me since I threw bread at the Who was that guy that got in trouble, you know, the foot was he in next football or athlete or something? Jermaine yeah. So you used to be a carpet fitter? Yes . So how did you get into that and what is if you've got a secret to that well if I mind that workout you can't off it in. What is that tool they use? You know where they go the stretcher? Yeah, yeah. The knee stretcher. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Oh, you do it with your knee. You do it with your knee, yeah. That's what it's called, is it 's. yeah And is that the only skill you need? Yeah, there's actually no I think there's a qualification for carpet. You just got to just get taught it on the job as an apprentice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You served down Jack . And so when you bring the carpet, you pre cut the carpet. No, this is it. You cut it. Right. Because you don't know how big the room is. So you cut it to the room. Right. Yeah Why don't they have a thing now where they could use adding a GPS or something or a laser measurer to map out the carpet, right? This is an idea for I don't know if there's any probably knowing you're on perhaps there's a big zone carpet figure more people. Demographic . Yeah . And they would be able to cut it out in the showroom or the work room and they just roll it up and then they come in and push it out and then they got the stretcher bop So I think it should be easy the way Yeah , nice idea though. Okay, I'll see if we go with that. One other question about carpet and then we'll move on. Yeah , I've got me all day Feels like it isn't it? You got our past ten is the stair carpet . Yeah , right. So when you the convention is if you have a runner up the middle yeah , which is sort of a and then when you get to the small landing , do you do the runner round the small landing or do you think of people watching this? There's no one watching it . What did he say again? What did he say? So I switched it off that question . Okay. So we got to know your audience. Yeah. Yeah. So you've got the stairs, and everybody goes and then you got the mini landing as it turns up to the next. Right, yeah, yep, yeah, with the runner. Yeah. What is the convention there? What's the do you fill it completely or do you continue the run it's up to you your own taste, really. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Because we weren't asked and they failed. Oh, really? That's an essential. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They filled it. What have they done to yours? They filled it. The whole thing, but you wanted to run Well out, I? think it looks better . Yeah, it's too late. Well, sane, bleach is not too. You can get it made like that now, can't you? You can cut it . What? Oh , you've got enough carpet to cut it down, haven't you? Fit it retrospectively. Yeah, yeah. Depends on my career guys. If you just yeah, you're not pop around, you're just you're only in Croydon . Okay So and then what was this Australia thing? It sounds like a sort of crisis of No, yeah, it sort of was yeah, I don't know. I forgot about that until Sarah brought it up to us. That's what she's here for. Yeah. Yeah, I worked on a tomato farm in Australia. Right. What were you doing was this before the carpet thing or? It was objuring I've had enough carpet. I'm gonna move into tomorrow's It's had a back arrived by the hospice . You'd have a job centre . Yeah, we've got a vacancy company . So you go out there it was just like you went out there speculatively just for an advent ure, basically. Yeah, went out there and then basically what you gotta do in Australia, if you want to stay for another year I think they call it rural work so you can get back into the country. So I went and worked on a tomato farm. Right. What was that like? I enjoyed it. Yeah, I liked it. It was like little village called Bowen, so well done, Sarah. Yeah. That was correct. And it's like a little town. Yeah. One post office, one pub. I didn't have a phone. If I say I feel I'm an old soul . I mean a scarlet thing again, you know what I mean? I do all this stuff on the phone, but I don't really know how to do it. I know how to record myself. I don't know any I'm old fashioned like that. Yeah. I liked it. Yeah, so you like , I mean I mean how come you got into the sort of social media? I mean, when I was starting as a comic I just got a few numbers, phoned up some clubs, and then tried to get open spots, but I don't think you really did that way, did you? No, well it was a standup first. I wanted to be a standup comedian and then there was my first comedy gig march twenty twenty . That's not long ago. It happened there . It's okay because the pandemic I didn't get to see . Oh yeah, yeah. So I just had a phone and I just my mate said to me 'cause I just said my mate's videos and he said, Don't you just put them on TikTok? I'd never heard of TikTok or downloaded it. I'm pretty much straight away. . Yeah So just to stand up is what I like doing. Yeah. Who is the bloke in the 'cause there's another bloke turns up in your videos as sort of another guy ? Tom is it Tom Yeah . He doesn't seem to get any credit . Yeah, I keep him sort of He does get credit, though he? I don't know, it's obviously Yeah. It's like your feed though, isn't it? Yeah, he goes on his feet isn't it? It does it out . Forgive you. Yeah. Sarah, have you anything further to say about Jack Skipper? After always harboring ambitions of one day being a stand up comic like his heroes growing up here we go. Yeah. Good jack ventured into the social platforms during the first lockdown in twenty twenty. Skipper Jack started a stand up comedy course in February, twenty twenty . Then obviously the pandemic hit so he had to find a different outlet for comedy and said it was on TikTok, yet he gave all his information to the Chinese government. They did say that when the telling stories of life as a family man or observations on working class life, his everyday guy Paers hason gained an impressive following on social media, with over fifteen million likes on TikTok alone and two hundred and ninety. Zero zero zero followers on Instagram better than Dumb Dumbs. That's it you're update with my man Jack Skipper. Hey, why don't you lay some shag tile carpet on me or better still carpet tiles cuz if one gets a stain you just rotate them? That is what's good about Oh that's a twig. That's for you. That's for you, Jack . Yes. Pick it up now I'll take it later . So you did a comedy course ? Yes. So where did you do that then? In Brighton ? Well, like a sort of residential course or what's that mean? You know, staying over what? No, no I should go down to Brighton every Saturday. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Who ran that? Was it Jew Edwards comedy course it was called? Right. So I did I did that. Let's go down Brighton everybody. I kept it from my family as well 'cause I was sort of like, yeah, but it is a bit embarrassing starting. And my dad was like, Why did you go down to Brighton every saturation? Yeah. Yes, I was doing a comedy course. Right. Which is nice. So where did they so that you found that help? No, no, I did. So where did they eat? I'm not supposed to eat that. No, you're welcome to eat it. Yeah. Which is gonna sound horrible. I forget that. I'm starving. Yeah, it's fine. You eat it. No one. No , it doesn't sound bad. It's made fancy one now. Well, that's a good thing about Twix. Okay, yeah, okay. Thanks. I appreciate that. Oh yeah, yeah, so I did a course because I was just too nervous to get up on stage basically . And just give you that confidence at the beginning, you know? So what do they do? They say, So you get up and do your jokes in front of the other rest of the class. Yeah. Even that's terrifying. Even that bit es to make you write your joke on a bit of paper and you have to read it out. I remember your hands shaking I was terrified . I was too scared to pick up the microphone when I started. Yeah, like just so Yeah it's a big step. I don't actually remember my first gig it was a bit of a blur. I don't remember what it was. I think when I was there. These are nice, aren't they? Well, they do say about TikTok. I mean, I find TikTok Instagram or phone is okay . Yeah Yeah . Oh, actually I have fancier cup of tea now, you know, paper You want a chocolate? Yeah . Are there anyone? Yeah, there's anyone left. It's a conquer. Seemat had all the nice ones had all the acorns What do they say about TikTok? So I just They do say this about TikTok that, you know, you're giving all your information to the Chinese government . Yeah They ain't got that much information . What are they going going to to take? What are they do? Yeah. That's all my information. That's the least of our worries isn't it? He was on a tomato farm, not the Chinese going to do it. I don't know . Yeah , yeah. A city of Boeing. Yeah . But I find TikTok Instagram, I find OK , you just log on and it's like quite gentle, isn't it? But TikTok whenever I go on to TikTok, it's like Yeah, yeah, he's like screaming at you and it makes me a little bit panick y. Yeah, I feel the same. So you know what you're own there? I've used Instagram more, I'd say. I do put everything on TikTok as well. But you grow up watching TV and we were talking about earlier and you were saying that you grew up watching TV and obviously that's what you would like to do . Yeah, I just say, I think I'm analogue and I think you know I'd like to have a long form. Stand up special on a VHS. That's what I'd like. I've to sell some videos. Yeah, those are the days. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not really a weird yeah , it's been where I'm sort of that's where I sort of got successful online, but I'm not that. No. I don't really consume it much if I don't really like everyone goes who's your favorite . I don't really know who did you like when you were watching comics? Who were the comics that you like? I always remember I always remember my dad going to see Lee Evans at the Fairfield Halls. Oh yeah. I was about seven years old . That's the first time I remember I was wondering what he's a comedian and getting like VHS of that Yeah, he was like , I mean Lee, I mean live, particularly he was just like a kind of just really filled the room, didn't he? Just like amazing thing. I remember seeing him . He was in a pub in Victoria , Carnaby Street Carnaby Street and it was Jack D. Opened and then Lee Evans, you know, you imagine it in a small room it was just like yeah, yeah and he st stopoppedped. He doing it, no, so probably won't ever get to see it live. No, that's living. I keep thinking he's got to get he's got to get bored and come back to us isn't it? Yeah I hope so. So Lee who, else did you like? Mentioned Jack Day. Harry Hill was good, he t last . Took three. Took three to get from me. I don't know what to do. I don't say first about it. But we're very fer it a little bit, doesn't look too Joe. I know that's what you want. I would have kept going. I would have kept going. Yeah , but we're very different. Well, I mean, we're very different to , comic styles, but I always think you can't really control what kind of comic you are. I think you're right yeah because like I said the whole thing about people say it's relatable not relatable but I thought I don't know I was just well I didn't intend to do that no I just Oh sorry another phone call . This is we're coming in. Hello, yeah . Yes, okay . Oh, okay . Oh, sorry, yeah . Yeah, I thought that was really strong . Yeah, I mean, I took onboard everything you said last time. So yeah, no, no, I appreciate your calling. Yeah , yeah . So yeah, thanks a lot. Yeah, I'll try again . BBC weather . They're not going to use my photograph for the evening weather forecast. You know, they use a viewer's photo. Yeah , which is I was pretty confident about this one as well. I thought that's definitely going to get in . Oh well I'll have another go. Have you given up booze ? Ouch I should feel that life is just a bit too predictable without it. 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Regency innov ations Princely Intervention Princely I can't remember. What is it? It's time for our theme of the week Cleopatra . It's Cleopatra and we're joined by Egyptian Egyptologist Dr. Arto Beleck Danian. Is that correct? Correct .. Hi there Nice to meet you. This is Jack Skipper . Nice to meet you. Harry, nice to meet you, Jack. That'll be nice to meet you. Now, we're going to talk about Cleopatra. Do you know much about Cleopatra? There's a girl band in her nineties, isn't it? It was it was I do think we're talking about the girl band today. An expert on it . We're actually we're talking will tell us Arto who, was Cleopatra ? Wow. Where do I even start? I mean easily one of the most famous figures from all of not just ancient Egyptian history from all of ancient history in general Qu.een of Egy pt, of course , and anything else I say beyond that will be might require more details. So okay. When did she when was she around ? She became king roughly in fifty one Ishbc and died by her own hand in thirty BC . Oh, okay, so she was only twenty one then But remember , that's when she became queen, sorry, I should have clarified. That's not when she was born . That's when she was queen, basically. Okay, right now, we're getting in . And when you say king, I thought it was pharaohs over there . You're absolutely right. Usually it's a pharaoh that reigned in ancient Egypt and it's not like say in European monarchies especially yeah, for example, you know, you had Queen Elizabeth, right ? She was the exception rather than the rule , but queens could rule , whereas in ancient Egypt, they couldn't. You had to be pharaoh . And Pharaoh was male. The office itself was male , but in certain circumstances we',ve had female pharaohs . Right. So what was it about Cleopatra that they made that they waived that rule ? You know, how come she how come they what was special about Cleopatra that they decided, yeah, okay, you can be one . Well, actually, Cleopatra never really ruled by virtue of being pharaoh. That was the weird thing. She was an exception among exceptions . She was officially queen, but in reality she was de facto the one running the country. So she was always kind of co reigning with a male figure, you see? So first it was one of her younger brothers, a man named Ptolemy the thirteenth when they began ruling . Yeah, no there were lots of those Ptolemies, weren't there? Yeah . Good knowledge. Thank you . So I see. So she was but she just had she was particularly good at it at ruling yeah and what was it about her? Why has her legend persisted whereas perhaps her brothers hasn't ? Well a good part of the reason is of course her fame and the way she had such a great impact on Rome, essentially. First she had an affair with Julius Caesar, you know, easily one of the most re cognizable and powerful figures from all of ancient Roman history . And then as if that weren't enough after he was assassinated, you know, the Eides of March and all that , it was Mark Anthony's turn to essentially, yes , have a thing for her, shall we say? Yes , because this is one of the things about Cleopatra, isn't it?viously Well,, ob we're all familiar with Elizab eth Taylor as Cleopatra in the big film and Richard Burden is that she was supposed to have this kind of allure that men couldn't resist, right? True. But it was I bet I mean, we are all human beings, right? So maybe her looks had something to do with it, but by many accounts , it was her charisma that was really the thing that grabbed people . She was an incredible speaker, conversationalist. She was just captivating in that sense. Right. And how do we know all this? So we have to remember that a lot of what we know about Cleopatra is through Roman sources. And by and large, because she eventually lost the war against Octavian, would go on to become Augustus, the first Romanper Eorm , the Romans retroactively saw her in a very negative light because they were fighting against her, right? So as a result , a lot of what we know about her is in that negative light , but the very fact one Roman historian does mention this. I believe it was Plutarch . But aside from that , Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony, people of that caliber , they would not , if they were just interested in her, shall we say, for her looks sort of thing , it would have been a rather brief affair , but instead , they actually stayed on with her in an alliance and they saw her as a valuable ally . Right. So how did this how did this all start? You've got Rome, obviously was a massive empire. You've got Egypt. Was it Rome trying to take over Egypt or how did this how did they even meet? Yeah good question essentially you painted the scene really well by this point in time , so to rewind very briefly three hundred years , you have Alexander the Great, right? Easily another one of the most famous figures from ancient history She established pardon me? Don't worry. Did she have an affair with him as well? Did she have an affair with Azel the Great No, that was three hundred years from? Oh, I heard the Lord again. Oh yeah. Where did you been saying she was born . Yes, go on . Basically , she is so Alexander the Great defeats the Persian Empire and then he dies young and it gets his empire gets divided up between some of his top top generals . The one in charge of Egypt who takes charge of Egypt is a man named Ptolemy. Right. And he goes on to found a dynasty that would rule Egypt for three hundred and Cleopatra is the most famous of that line of rulers towards the tail end of it. Right. Okay, yeah. And so then Rome where does Rome come in ? So as time went on, a lot of these successor kingdoms began fighting with one another , eventually ran into troubled times and in the meantime R,ome was on the ascendancy . So eventually Rome began taking over these successor kingdoms until only Ptolemaic Egypt remained. Right . Now we 're getting to it. And so Julius Caesar turns up why didn't he just sort of invade and kill Cleopatra and Ptolemy and you know, the usual sort of thing ? Yeah , that's a very good question . Basically I would imagine that Egypt was still considered quite it was by this point weaker than it was two hundred fifty years ago. But at the same time , I would imagine the main thing holding them back is kind of the it's weird, but the legalities involved . They had a deal with this previous with basically Cleopatra's father , Polymy XII . So it was a friendly . They're the ones who it was a friendly relationship from the sort of from the start. Exactly . Okay . And so he so was it clear was it in it was obviously in Cleopatra's interest to get off with Julius Caesar ? Is that why she did it, do you think? Absolutely . Cleopatra at the very beginning, she was essentially in competition with her own brother, the co regent, the co reigning king over the throne and she needed help with that. Meanwhile, of course, Egypt was extremely wealthy, and Julius Caesar needed an ally . Right , right. Mutually beneficial. Mutually beneficial . And do we have any idea what she looked like? Are there any sort of drawings paintings of her . The most certain depictions of Cleopatra come from her coins, the coins, basically. We do see two dimensional representations of her in profile on coins . There is one statue that oftentimes is described as being Cleopatra , but I don't think it's known with one hundred percent certainty that this was her. Right. And you alluded to her death. What happened in the end to Cleopatra? Well, her alliance with Mark Anthony was going very well at first until eventually Mark Antony and Cleopatra lost against Octavian, you know, that future first Roman emperor at the Battle of Actium and it was all downhill from there until eventually ye,p there was, nothing left. Mark Antony had already died and Octavian was going to come over to take over Egypt . And instead of being taken captive and paraded in the Roman streets as essentially a symbol of Rome's victory, a very humiliating thing indeed . She decided to take her life by her own hand. I always say the honorable thing . Yeah. Do you have any questions of Dr. Arto? No further questions . No further questions from Jack. Is there anything further if we wanted to find out more about Cleopatra, where would we go? There are lots of very good books on the subject . There was one book fairly recently that came out by an Egyptologist named Kara Kooni . She's based at UCLA and she wrote a book about six Egyptian queens or rather female rulers would be perhaps more accurate . And what was the title? Something along the lines of six Queens Colon women rule the world. And there's an entire chapter dedicated to Cleopatra in that book. Okay, well we'll look that up. And do you have a website or a social media presence for people who have warmed to you over the course of this conversation . Yeah . There's my Instagram account. It's all Egyptology stuff . It's just my first name. I know. It's not an easy name, the surname especially, but Arto ART O dot my surname Valkdan at Oh there's no app. That's it. That's my username. Then from there's my link to my YouTube channel also Olygtology. Fantastic. Okay, well it's been fascinating . Thanks for telling us all about Cleopatra. Thanks . My pleasure. Thank you. Thanks for having me. It's time for biscuits or sewing kit kit Is it biscuits or sewing kit? How well do you know your teens ? Is it biscuits or sewing kit? How well do you know your teens ? Biscuits, biscu it biscuits tin tin tin tunket tunkit. Biscuits are so many kit, how well you know your tins ? Is it a biscuit or so it's quite close to be singing . This straight at you actually, Jack. Yeah. Now, Jack, you can see from the I know yeah, it's okay. The same as the song. Yeah. And basically what I've done is I've just it's just the previous quiz that we used to do right here and we've stuck that on. Okay because we have overheads now Jack, so it's pretty self explanatory. What do you what do you think the quiz involves? You have to explain to them . I didn't quite gather from the song and the sign. Yeah, I'm still sort of let me explain Let me enlighten you. We've got four tins here. Right . Now tins can either contain biscuits or sewing kits. Right . So So that's your job. You've got to decide. Let me just look in this one because I think that might be Yeah this is because biscuits come in a tin . Yes . The soon kits don't you put them in it tin. You put them in it tin, yes. Right. Yeah . But these are all old tins. These are all old tins. So you're saying you so some of these are recycled biscuit tins. They haven't got the necessary good I like that. Yeah . It doesn't necessarily got the original we're not claiming they've got the original biscuits . You're quite right to clarify that. But sometimes you would have a tin that you've had biscuits in you keep it in , refill it with . Well, biscuits okay . Biscuit or showing. So he's covered again . Is he or a so lution just like you know your tooth . So this first one. Okay . It looks old . Old teen, yes. Scratches. Possibly made by a needle, you never know. Could be. Yeah. Wearing tear. Yeah. I'm going to sewing kit. You're saying sewing kit. Let's find out . It's a sewing kit. It's a sewing kit. Someone keeps schools. So that's one . You've got one point there and this one. I think you know what ? Because I don't want to touch it because it's gonna be noise, mightn't it? I'm going to go. It's a nice tune. Thank you. Hunting and Palmer's cocktail assorted biscuits I'm thinking I'm gonna sank it again. No particular it's just I mean that's where this is too easy to go I'm trying to think ahead of you. You're thinking I might go it's like taking a pen and we go left or right. It's like Are you reading my body language? Yeah, yeah, I'm going to you're expecting me to save this kit this time. Right? I'm going to sewing kit. Let's find out . Not an emergency socket, it's biscuit. Oh, it's boring sort it's biscuits. I just couldn't I couldn't live with that that is just it's not the same . It's not the point. I did say that the start, biscuit or sewing kit. Oh, see, I'm gonna have to go es quite scratched, isn't it? It's quatch. I mean , gone from the Fury before , that worked. I go sewing it. I mean, even if it was busy, it looks more like a cake tin to me, if I'm honest. Well, it's Pete Freeman's famous biscuits. What are you saying Maybe it's stupid . Yeah, I'd always show you up . But you'll go wrong. Look at an idiot now. You're embarrassing You make an uphold yourself here . You're never gonna lift this down skipper . Of course I shook in my face in the biscuit community ever . Yeah . They'll be pointing at you in the screen There we go . Before we cake him the shame All right, because of the dance, I'm going to go sew and kit. Sewing kit. Yeah . I can get b aiscuits, I think . No, I say hello, I get that guys. Yeah, I don't know my biscuits anyway. I'm just expert. So that's two you've got, right? And lastly, this is the bonus tin. Oh, this is just shot in the dark, I guess. It's gotta just go biscuit. Yeah, just go biscuit. Yeah, just go biscuit . Ton kit and biscuits. They half a point . That's that's I think that's a mistake . You can do that though. Yeah, yeah. You can do. Why not have both? Yeah. Another biscuits. So give you half a point for that sake just toting that up. So one, two, two and half two, and a half points . Was it baskets or a sewing kit? How well do you know your chins? Is it baskets or a sewing kit? How well do you know your teens ? I wasn't sure what we were doing . I tell you what ? I'm trying to show fusion The song's too long . I thought you were going to dance with me then how well you know your tins I'm not sure if we'll do that again Gary's Joke Corner 's Gary's Joke Corner. Now Jack, this is my son Gary. Hi . Hi, Jack. To see you. John to explain it this week, Gary Ben made that noise, Gary did amateur appeal. Yes, I can ever go. Basically he's handing the business over to me in twenty thirty . Signing jokes. Yeah, I'm retiring in twenty thirty. Gary will need jokes he's going to take over succession. And so have you got a joke possibly for Gary? You got a joke for me . I'm supposed to prepare one, 'm a family friendly show and I'll do what I tell my kids? Yes, that's it. Well, he's only twelve. I'm only twelve Jack. Knock knock joke? Knock knock joke would be great. Yeah. Knock knock. Who's there? Europe . Europe ? No, European. Oh, Europe an daddy siding . That's great. Yeah. Have you got a joke for us guy? Yeah, how could it daddy daddy daddy? I was having my shower fixed up with those ceramic squares that have grouting in between. Oh, it sounds like you're trying to say something, but hiding it. Yes. Oh yes. Yes , I left the workmen on their own while I went out to the shops and when I got back I could hear music coming from the bathroom. This is a long setup Gary. Let's go with it. And when I went in, they were playing football to music that appeared to be built on strong melodic hooks and drawing subtle inspiration from the sixties and seventies, blending nostalgia and unseniable songcraft. Tyler Ball game ? That's one way of putting it . Do you know that? Have you heard of Tyler Ball Game? No. Apparently it's very hot at the moment It's very niche gaze. It was a bit niche . That's the sound that tells me it's the end of our podskuff. So all that remains, yes, is to thank our expert Dr. Arthur Bernagannian and of course our special guest Jack, Sk ipper . Butterfly in blue jeans , hamster in a chiffon top , puppy in a poncho fluffy duckling with a ball . Butterfly in blue jeans these are the things of our dreams of our dreams . These are the things good night everyone. Thanks for watching. See you next time . Off our dreams, steady, Jack. Off our dreams. Of our dream Thanks jackers . Hello, we've got a dangerous heat building over the next couple of days. A metroffice red extreme heat warning has been issued across parts of England, but we also have amber warnings in force across all of England, Wales and a good part of Scotland over the next couple of days.