Final Games and Closing Remarks

One, a two, one . Hello! Good evening and welcome . It is time for us to have a lovely time . We time the time it took to get to the venue. It took more time than we thought that it might do. We'll thought it would take a fortnight or two. Joe said, I don't know they got really flustered because we're in the studio . Well, we're in a recording studio home section podcast . What's the home section podcast? The home section podcast home section. It's a horn section podcast. Hello, hello Hello Hello Well everybody Watcher and welcome to the Horn Section podcast one of the world's podcasts What is the Horn Section podcast? Ben, please tell everyone under a bed of incredibly beautiful music from the bassist. Tell everyone what the aim of the podcast is, how it's made, and then elaborate about our five year plan. The podcast some beautiful , some sad music, some wonderful music put alongside comedy alongside comedy . Intertwined , our aim is to make it as funny and as happy and as lovely as possible and profitable profitable . Some money would be nice five year plan. Five plan. Carry on doing this until five years are out, one of us died. Good, thank you. Okay . Well, it's a natural. Is everyone alright? Joe, Joe, how are you feeling now? Good here. And you've written a song to help people learn a language. Is that right? Yeah, great. How long did it take you to write this? Honestly No , no . Dishonestly. Yes, please. Okay . About a couple of weeks. Yes. Yeah . Well, I'm looking forward to it. Here we go. So this is with the help of music, you at home can learn a language . One, two, three, papa go laurel nana . Listen carefully. Papa . And repeat it if you can. Nani Ra, papa . This should all be going in. And here comes the translation . Parrot, parrot, parrot . Parrot, parrot. There's the English so you've learned the word for parrot, parrot parrot Irish ing useful? Paruds Marud I think he's finished Yeah he's finished there so quite a few languages there Joe? Yep, nine, I think.ine N languages. Yeah. It's a comprehensive . So yes, you got a choice. Yep. Choose your language and learn it. Who's ready for a guest? Guess please. Okay, well we have, as always, a special one person guest audience here with the Hawn Section podcast and today it's Mr Greg Davis It's Greg Davis There we is. He came down the steps very nicely . Very graceful . Hello, Greg. Hello. I'm Alex. This is a band. Yes, I know who you are and I have met the band twice. Some of this will be for the listener. Yeah What I thought it would do, I'm going to explain how I know you to the listener. Okay with a song, obviously . So briefly for the listener there's, a TV show called Taskmaster on David, which I'm your assistant. Yes. So what I did to write the lyrics for your introduction song, I typed Alex Horne Assists Greg Davis into Google. Yeah, and I found quite a lot of smart Lovingly written smart. So we're going to sing some of the smart if that's alright. But smart about us. Yeah . Seriously. Hardcore smart. I mean, I would have bet my life that we would not be in anyone's fantasy. We're in somebody called Sashata Karu's fantasy. She's written or he's written many, many poems about us. This one is called Feast . Wow. That is a genuinely unexpected start to this podcast for me. I have slightly abridged it. If you want to look this up on the internet, do I have to get rid of some of the really awful bits . Wow . Don't really yeah, trying to keep it sorry, I read one sentence and I already feel disorientated . It starts with just one last thing. That's a weird starting. Yeah, there was lots before this. Oh God , I'll imagine just imagine what's going on before this. I'm very excited . Are you ready? Yeah, okay two beautiful Just one last thing on Christmas night , his master called him to his bed to tie him well , to bind him tight , to give his boy one final gift . Alex , my boy, his master said , I'm very pleased with your fine work You have obeyed my commands and done your job just like I taught . Now Alex was not prepared to hear such wondrous pray from his master and it made him cry in spite of his desire not to get upset. So thank you Master for your kind words. I always try to do my best . And for that's my boy you will have a great reward for all you've done . And so Alex was silenced then with his hot mouth over his Alex did gasp A,lex did pull again st his bonds. Twas such a thrill. So it was that it did last. His master's mouth devoured him whole. For so very long it went on. Alex was sure he could not last . His master was so very hungry for his Now Alice could tell, but then Alex was so needy, his master's hands touching him so very gently, very softly, making him so very aroused. It lasted now until Alex Alex Gasping loudly crying softly his master's mouth a feast for him enjoyed with love. His master then unbound his boy and then all there was just sweet love, gentle cuddles and soft kitties I give for you my special boy I'll you soon Sorry to give you pain Thank you, sir. You are too kind to give me such wondrous pleasures. The pleasures mine, my darling boy . For Christmas night I'll feast on . For Christmas night, I'll feast on you. Everyone it Ch'rsist formas night I'll feast on you . For Christmas nights I'll feast on you . For Christmas night I'll feast on you . For Christmas nights I'll feast youon, know, that's our relationship . Well , yeah, I mean it's sort of fascinating, isn't it? Because it's clearly by someone who's d eranged . And there's not even an attempt to rhyme. That's what fascinating. It's crazy, isn't it? Yeah So the plot is it's Christmas . It's Christmas night and after the appropriate amount of years I've decided I'm going to perform oral acts on you for Christmas. I'm not sure who's performing on hay, but yeah, I think you are doing on me. I think I'm fasting on for Christmas night I'm fasting on you and I'm trying not to make it over and too quickly. Yeah, I'm trying to hold on. Yeah, I don't want to get upset . You can keep the lyrics if you want. No I don't need to because all I need to do is to remember any words because Because this is a jumble of words with a throughlide of me performing oral sex on you. There's a lot more out there . And yet the tip of the iceberg. And yet your face seems quite bright with it all . Part me was pleased. Yeah, yeah. All right, okay, stop the music. Everyone everyone alright, everyone feel okay now? A bit sick. Yeah, a bit sick. It's traditionally quite a clean podcast, this, isn't it? And you've invited me on and you've opened with a badly written song about me sucking a bean exercise okay. I know it's about that. Oh, never go to bed too late, never put your hat on straight, never rush or sprint or dash or hurtle . Always chat to Ever. Always smile with Ever Corbettes are cracking lady, also known as tassel . Well, you play guitar , Greg, obviously we all know that you're very professional. You play all the chords? Well, I can play six chords. Yes. All the chords. How many guitars do you have? Two, and you've got a tiny drum machine? Set ric dronum kit machine? No It says kit. Okay, I can play the drums as well. Well, in a previous podcast we had Tim Vine on and we had a little game where I shut my eyes and he snuck around and played an instrument the band and I had to guess what instrument he was playing. Would you like to try that? So it could be any instrument we know you play the drum set and the guitar obviously. Yeah, but you might be able to have a little tink on the pianleo. He might be doing double a bluff . I'm sorry so I'm going to go to one instrument and start playing it with the band. The band will play though. Oh yeah. And so I have to see if I can isolate which one you're playing. Oh, all right there. Yeah. Okay. So I'm now going to shut my eyes and you can wander around. Probably worth covering the noise of the graceful there man . So whenever you're ready want to of the musicians could give me a nod somehow So when Tim vine did this, he nailed it and I got it all twice Hm m Ed, is he or will even is he near an instrument ? Yes, he is. Okay, well in your own time, I'm ready to find Greg dear . Okay, well I mean, the drums sound good . Good let me Greg I'm gonna rule out the trumpet now Can I lose the trumpet please ? And can I lose the bass guitar ? And can I lose the keyboard ? Okay, so guitar or drum s . Craig Davis is playing the drums . Good yeah Good after noon play some drums Please and really well Brick David some drums And well you could you can say that for a bit if you want, but that was that's very nice . Yeah , well then I'll marry that 's great. Much better than Al Murray . You can have a little rest now because it's time to come back to the language classroom. And Joe Walken, I don't know if you heard earlier on the podcast, he's teaching us the language. Several languages this year turned out, so have we got another lesson? Yeah, time to learn a language . Okay This feature a highlight language. Here we go. One whole language . One, two, three, four Mergmanic . Maybe Greek there? Mina Tai thing world is mon zer . Welcome Romania mini trying to remember all them and the translation is coming now k is it she learned the word monk and monk over eight languages to build up your vocabulary Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Joe. Welcome. You feel like we're learning all the languages. Yeah, yeah. It's long. It's long. What was the language? Yeah, a good question. What was the language? I think Dutch , Romanian , Welsh , Lithuanian. I can't remember it. You were saying monk in all those. I thoughtk Mon was just incredibly long in one particular language. That would have been a better joke different joke. Variation on the joke. Yeah, that could be yeah for later on no but we're going to do that same joke again later on. Exactly the same. The one that I've just said on. No we'll stick with us. I was full expectying to see that joke again. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you will you'll hear that idea. It's not exactly the same because next time it will be cauliflower. Different word yeah we'll keep that hidden Oh yeah Well So if you want to feature in the podcast, do go to Patreon where you can donate some money as little as one dollar a month , as much as a million dollars a month , the more you give, the more of a mention you'll get, we'll make you little dingles or long songs. Just let us know what you want and we'll do it. You can also buy our album on Bandcamp . And thank you for any contributions. Also, also you don't have to do anything it's free . If you do donate, they do take the money out of your bank account every month so you might want to stop it or keep doing it. We're very grateful for anything. Willip , that is some super guitar. We played music together before haven't we graded to seven of us? Yes. Well, you hosted the Royal Variety Show. Yeah. And we were your little band for a song. It was really triumphant, wasn't it? Alex? And stressful. Yes. Do you remember the song ? Yeah, I do. I'm not sure I remember it as a blade actually. And I don't remember the words, but yeah, I've lost my placement. What'd it look like? It's like a little piece of plastic. And what'd it do? And you strung the strings with it. Do you want a music stand as well? That'll be too big I think. So I just start then? Yes, please My nan likes to put her in the garden . Although she will concede that the cold rather gets to her knees . My man likes doing cryptic crosswords and the kettle's always on 'cause she drinks and the cups of tea and your nan your nan's the queen My nan short bread biscuits. Of course she does they're delicious. She's not allowed to drive so she either gets a bus or a train. Subsidized travel My nan . She worries about the weather. What a bit . She always has a brale in a handbag case of rain . I'm talking of rain . Your nan's con thestitutional head of state and no one can form a government without a consent descended from a thousand year monarchy . A miner's face is not on money They're both just normal nan . They're both just normal nights . They're both just normal nat . Why none Like seven chips. She dips her chips to me . She doesn't have a flag to race to tell me that she's home. She's just always home. You're nan . She has a name on ships. She doesn't for ships in me and they both have very different seats that they describe as a throne . What's the toilet? My nan says a lady should have a hat for every occasion and when your nan isn't wearing a hat they're kept in a fortress that guarded by rainbows that's just normal lands They're both just normal lands They're both just normal lands Your nan has lots of foot men . My nanny sees a footman on Tuesdays because she's got corn . Your nan she has a coat of arms . Minean has a body warmer which is a coat with no arms . Or Nan's face is on Minanced T alge to try a plate . My name's the Chairman of the local bridge club. Yours is the defender of the Christian faith . Your Nancy No twelve Prime Minister , my hand's lived through seven cuts. Your nan's been accorded many titles. Myan has accorded buffer bath and Your nan was played by Helen Mirror and every single swan is her key and hand accidentally invented coronation chicken and by three PM on Christmas Day my nan is sleep Nans the most just normal nans just normal nans just normal nans And There were some things we weren't allowed to do with that. I wanted to call Meghan Greg and the show. We weren't asked to do that. Nope. Disrespectful. Yep We were allowed to Well, they were allowed to drink. You drank quite a bit. The band. Drink low. Heavily, yeah. You know, I was not allowed to bring on effigies of them. What sort of effigies were going to bring on client of them? I bought some dolls from America that cost nearly four hundred pounds . And it was two different sets of Harry and Meghan dolls that at the last minute Kensington Palace deemed disrespectful. No thank you. No refugees. No, thank you. And now I've got them. I've got them in my flat. Oh, well, that's something. So if you want to do a competition, I'll happily send those dolls out to one of your listeners. Yeah, we'll do that. They're four hundred pounds worth. Do you want the money? No. Right? Let's all do a competition. If you do send me the money, I'd only burn it like the KLF anyway. You always do. here Tell me if you please do . Here we go, here we go, here we go . There's a man called Matthew Gottfried, who might have to move house soon ? So this is a plea to his landlord in the form of a catchy tune. Don't evict. Mr Godfrey, don't turf him out just yet. Matty Godfrey is a very nice man. He's not an awful cat. Stop . Well, if we ever get the chance to do when we have the chance to go on the Royal Variety Command performance again the next time they ask us . Okay. Well, we've decided what we're going to do in Arbit and we're going to perform a song as Jor ge and Hazes. You're not involved in this. This is the section we want to do by ourselves. Okay, if that's right, Greg. I think the Queen would be a fan of this. It's a duet between two horses from Lagos. She likes her horses, doesn't she? She loves her horses and she loves Legos famously. If you need me to do a guitar solo this at any point, just give me a nod. Okay. I can't do a guitar solo. Well, we're definitely ask you. You won't be doing this one. This is a very delicate song. Okay . Hello We have some visuals for this, which we might send a put a picture on the internet or something for this. I mean you really should. It's quite exciting. We've got two actual horses in the room Yeah, okay Willipper are you ready ? I was born ready. You were born in reading. Right, here we go . two, three, four, five, six . Wal Jorge and Hazers, the horses from Lagos Saddle up and fly, the world passes by this week those two horses are dicking around in space. Jorge's got purple space gates and hey who Zus is manning the spaceship which is shaped like a horseshoe . Hey horhe what has us I'm scared. What are you scared of hazers? I'm afraid of the shape of the planet. Why ? It's fear . Okay, so that's sort of how the song is going to progress. A little part. Do you get the joke? It's fear. Sphere. Yeah, yeah. You didn't your face was a bit like fear. Yeah, well your face didn't register anything. There was no amusement or anger. But my brain fully registered the joke. And just tick that's a joke and I enjoyed watching them with horse horse heads. Okay . On the plus side hazers, what horror? The stars are pretty, aren't they? The prettiness must give you a little comfort, a little comfort. That is some constellation. Okay , less subtle that one. You're nodding Yeah, but I sort of feel blackmailed into doing a facial reaction now . Emotionally Well, I guess yeah there's an emotional connection of sorts between us Yeah you can carry on, Jorge. Hey Jorge, what hes us? I'm hungry. Why don't you eat to Mar's bar ? That is it. It says applause on my part . You don't have to do anything great for that one? Yeah . Hey, horrhea what he is ? I don't want a Mars Bar. Do you want something more significant? Something meteor Oh, I quite like that one . I don't want to kill the vibe or anything. It's just not for me. Hey Hazers. What hor hey? After your meal, your breath will stick . Have you any advice for such a scenario? Apollo Apollo I get another one. Polo mint . Hey Hazers. What holy, you'll need more than apo . You'll need a hubble bath . Okay, I'm gonna just check how long's left . That's five out of nine. six out of nine. It's good news. That's pushed through there . That's not very nice Hazers. Part deal part you could slip on your new indoor slip on shoes . My extra two esper drills . Now there's a lot of work going into that one, Greg. My extra two espradrilles. Extra trills. Yeah, extra terrestrial. Yeah , yeah. You'll also need a haircut. You look a disgrace. Really? Yes. What barber do you suggest? Snippy Eclipse . I mean, I don't know what that means. Gather . It's just ridiculous . And it's almost like his horse's mask was collapsed in sympathy. Yeah, it's been a bit flappy. Now your one's fine world cozy is a bit shirt, just give your head a shake. Two more is it? Yeah, these are the worst ones. Okay . Are you talking about the hairdresser which orbits the earth? Yes. But that one went up in flames. Did it hazers? Yes, it satellite . I'll tell you something else the satellite, horror. What's that? I'll give you a clue. It's massive and it's the seventh planet from the sun. I give up your fatter ass I mean , he's enjoying it. You're fat bass. I think like Uranus, I guess that's what they didn't want to say uranus. Oh, I see so they've got that . Rug pulled it at the end. Yeah . And then the horse with the collapsed face really loved . While Horhe and Hazers, the horses from Lagos saddle up and fly the world passes by Yeah. Yeah, yeah, really good. Yeah , really good Planet puns. We play some games in the podcast. Do you like playing games? I love playing games. Great. Well, well this one is called Name This Tune . So I'm going to read some lyrics out. You have to name this tune. Okay. We're going to have some the different music to the song's music underneath the lyrics. Put you off. Okay. Can we start with some for mal music from the saxophone and drums, please, some formal music . So just you only have one guess . Here we go . I used to think that I could not go on and life was nothing but an awful song . But now I know the meaning of true love . He knows it. I'm leaning on the everlasting arms . If I can see it, then I can do it. I know it. Oh, yep , it's not am music . I believe it's RKell's. I believe I can fly. And this is how it should have sounded . I believe I can fly . I believe I can touch the sky , but I can't . I think about it every night and day spread my wings and fly your way and stop. I think it's fine if you do it through the voice of all. I think it's good. And it's also nice that R Kelly is probably too busy to sue you Is he? He's busy. Busy man. Yeah. Okay, second one now. A few things going on honestly Can I have some medieval piano blaze underneath this one? You've got one out of one so far. If you get three out of three, you get a t shirt . A green t shirt. Here we go . Some people stand in the darkness , afraid to step into the light . Some people need to help somebody when the edge of surrenders in sight , don't you worry ? It's gonna be alright 'cause I'm always ready . I won't let you out of my sight . I'll be ready . I'll be ready . Never you fear No, don't you fear? Buzz . I don't know why I just created the buzzer. Buzz buzz I think it's the theme from Baywatch by myself. Charlotte. And it should sound like this. By Michael Has by Michael Hatley ready ready Oh no don't you feel ready Forever and always I'm always here. Okay and the last one now. Can I tell you that David Hasselhoff once contacted me? Yes, please. And I've never spoken to him or met him, and he said, Hello, Greg, could you contact me as much of urgency? I quote and I did contact him and he was wanting to invite me to see a pantomime movies in South Atlanta. Did you go? Other pavilion? I didn't. Unfortunately, I wasn't affordable . Never been quite so ft m aatter of gurence m aatter of urgency . I have subsequently met him and he was really nice. Musly still? Pretty muscly. And it was on a panel show. And before he went on the panel show show he said we'd have to wait so he could do some press ups . Well, interestingly, in our tour show we do a Zumba routine near the end of the show and I wear a vest and Ed wears a vest. Ed is the pianist and he did some press ups before going on stage so that he would look muscly and he heard himself and had to go to hospital . Yes, what did you do to yourself? I just pulled a muscle in my chest . But he thought he was having a heart attack. That's the best bit . How many shows did you do that routine before going on? Do you normally do? No. It was the first time you did it . And it was to make yourself look more muscular yeah okay I want to explore this more but Ed looks genuinely angry. No, I'm thinking it looks angry and ashamed . Do you want to talk about it more? Yes, yes, please. Yeah . Why would you want to look muscly in that bit because I mean you're standing next to me. And do you know how exercise works? No , that's the problem You do it for twenty seconds and then you're ready. Although we heard that the Robbie Williams' dancers do that before going on, is that right, Mark? We can Yeah, but they're all athletes. Oh, we see. They all exercise regularly. You don't see it. Yeah. No, I don't particularly see the problem in it. My friend Richard did one situp once and pulled a muscle in his stomach and his stomach was so swollen within ten minutes it looked like he was pregnant. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life One situ p. Well, I'm tempted to make everyone do a situp. We need to do the last one in this Name this Tune feature. Here we go. Hey, Joe , where are you going ? With that gun in your hand I'm going down to buzzing when you know it to shoot my Hey Joe Yep. Where are you going with that ? I'm going down town buzzing when you know it. Oh yeah, oh yeah, what is it? It's a Hey Joe. It is Hey Joe by anyway, wouldn't it? It's behind it. Yeah, or is it? It should sound like this. One , two , three . Hey Joe . Where are you going with that gun in your hand I said Hey Joe , where you going with your gun in your hand I'm going to shoot my old lady down . I called her messing around her messin around town. See we put it on the beatles yeah. Now there's a bit in this Beatles song Craig. And if you felt it goes La la la la la la la la la la la la we've discovered the original words to that bit which I've replaced with last, so we're gonna sing that now. Mark, can you get us to that bit please? You go then your to make it , better Dog ling I can't find my shoe I don't know what to do Hey June Yes now a quarter past eight . We gotta be late . Hey June June are you doing up there ? Still washing your hair Hey Jut I have now found my shoe . So I'm just waiting for you . Hey Jude , hello Jude . Are you listening to me I'm Richard Mainley . You're Jews How can you just disappear ? The taxi is here . Hey Judy . Jud e, I am kidding I race . I hate to be late Hey Jude. Judy Please about Judy Finnegan, the original one . Right . And Paul McCartney new Judy. Judy Finnegan, yeah. And he's Andrichard Madeley. Well, yeah, he was pretending to be Richard Madeley in that one in the Hey Jude. But in order to pretend to be someone, you have to be aware of who they are. Yeah, yeah, he's well aware of Madeley. Madeley would have been about eight when that was written. Yes . I just it checks out. There's flaws in Noah checks out. I mean, it technically checks out. Yes . Give me a bee. Now I've got a bee and I'll tell you what I'm gonna do with it. I'm going to add on ENJ and then I'm going to make an aminfit to make Benjamin. Give me a C. C. So now I've got a C that is just a second starter. I'm going to add an otter and now we've all got Ben jamin Carter . Benjamin Carter . Carter Benjamin Carter . Oh Greg, you're enjoying being here on the podcast. I've really enjoyed it . Yeah. I like you very much. My favorite things about you. Yeah, really? I'd really like to know. I've got three favorite things about you, and then you're going to say five favorite things about you. Tenacity, one of them. Sort of, I've got, you don't mind sprawling all over a chair when you're relaxing. See, I've heard this section on your podcast before and you've actually picked out quite nice, thoughtful things for other people . And I knew that when it came to me that you'd be really struggling. Very relaxed on the chair that you too. Of course I sit lay a little bit. Yep. You let me ride your electric bike. Oh down the street. Yeah, okay. And sometimes you wear just a cafe on when you're in Spain. Yeah. And you said you're something you don't even know that. I told you. Well, so I do know it. So you can't think of three nice things to say about me too. And we've done eight series of TV. You don't wear anything underneath it and you just lift it up and do a week. Yeah, I've told you that story Why would that not be one of my favourites? It was genuinely I was so liberated. I only did it once and I did it off a wall so the Wii had to tumble down about ten feet as well It was majestic. It was six AM and my girlfriend at the time was asleep and you went Yep, lift it, lifted up, didn't touch myself and I weed freely . Luckily it wasn't windy. Yeah, it wasn't though. Sorry, shopping. Yeah, it wasn't. What are your favorite five favorite things about me, Craig with some pianist music underneath, please? Number one. It's incredible though . You've had ages to think about the three favorite things. A couple of months. Yeah. And one of them is a second hand anecdote. One is me how I sit on a chair. I don't even remember what the second one is. The other one was here. Bike or something. Let me bike. Okay, went up and down the street. Very generous and tenacious. Yeah . I've let all sorts of people go on that electric bike ellicks . Who? Not enemies, but certainly people I don't care for. It went really fast when I peddled. Why do I have to think of five things ? Well, we always do five. I just couldn't get okay, I couldn't go with unbelievable. Well, I couldn't do four. Four wouldn't be right. So it was three in the end. All right, then, yep. My five things I like about you I think you're very calm. I find you a very calm presence Thank you, Craig. I think you have genuinely terrible t aste in clothing so I don't think you care . Okay, well this is I'm no longer calm . I don't think you genuinely don't think you care what you look like. No, that is and I admire that because I do worry about what I look like. You always wear black. Yeah, that's how I'm hiding my fat . But I like that. Three like I like that tooth in your bottom set of teeth. The dirty one. That face is both dirty and face points towards your tongue . And I like that you're not offended when I or seemingly not offended when I mention it. No, no, no. Last one. like your wife. How much? An appropriate amount. Thank you. Thank you. And finally I I think you're quite a rarity. I think you're a genuinely decent chap. This is very touching. Yeah . Well, thank you, Greg. Yeah, I didn't think you'd be able to handle that. No, I can't really all you can think about is me pissing off a wall, I imagine . Unbelievable . Beautiful music as well. I wish the cavana got covered in piss. Would it be a better end to the story ? Well , I've got other stories where I shout myself on a velvet soap. You can have that if you're True, by the way . We don't need any more details to that Now, Willip the Bassist has written you and me a short play to perform now. Great. All right, do you know the song Wind the Bobbin up? No . Do you not? No, problems here. I think it's all about the performance. Okay One hundred percent. As so many of the great players are OK, well I'm ready . One, two, three, four . Wrine the bobbin up. I don't want to wind the bobbin up . Wrine the bobbin up. I don't want to wind the bobbin up Why the bobbin? I don't want to wind up bobbin up. Why don't why don't you just wind up bobbin? I don't want to wind up bobbin up Yep . Just wind the bobbin up. I don't want to wind the bobbin up Why not the bobbin up? I don't want to end up bobbin up. Why the bobbin up? I don't want to wind up bobbin up. Why'd the bobbin up? I don't want to wind up bobbin up . Why the bobbin up? I don't want to win the bobbin up Why the fucking bobbin up There we go that was the debut performance of wine the Bobbin up Hm Made me spit a bit that dude . Yeah, that was not in the script. That was an adulib it . We did a donor longs ago for Mr Adrian Dare. But now he's back and so we sing another one with care . Adrian, we thank you for your excellent donation. We also think you've always had outstanding concentration. You look at something really hard for hours at a time. So well done for your focus and your lack of doing crime. You're focused and you don't steal things the perfect combination. So once again we thank you Adrian for your kind donation. Shut up Right well let's play a quick game of Yes, I'm the guy who can handle the hottest stuff. So in this game you're all going to play your instruments. So back with a guitar. Me? Yes, please. Okay I'm going to read out hot things. You'll all be playing your instruments. If you've ever touched the hot thing that I read out, you can keep playing. If you haven't, you have to stop. So the last person playing is the guy who can handle the hottest stuff. Can we play GE minor CD? I would have thought so . Okay, everyone understand the rules Yes . I know they've all touch things. Have they touched the hottest things? Here we go. A cheese toasty . Anyone not touched a cheese toasty? No, I'll still play a carp bonnet in the height of summer The forehead of an ill person . Ben, whose forehead have you touched? My mother's mother's forehead. Why did you touch your mother's forehead when she was ill ? Okay . A hot egg . They've all handled the eggs. Curry with your hands . You'll be in there with your hands? Yes . Hand warmers . An urn , a very recent urn. So the ashes are stray in there . Is that not a thing that happens ? Or hot burn of tea? Oh yes. Yes, or all that, yes, or anything , thank you . Hot wax . Hot wax on your chest . Hardly boys . Everyone. Oh God, I was lost to be honest . A radiator that was really hot, like really, really hot. What a radiator? Really hot rain . Yeah, yeah Hot shoes . Your hands. Yeah, hot shoes. What do you mean? Shoes? Does they hot shoes? Ever told hot shoes? What about flip flops? Yeah, they're hot. Yeah, hot. Yeah , we've all done The inside of an animal somehow . The insides of an animal . Yeah, you might have teased something out of it. Not cooked. Oh, it could be cooked, some could be cooked. How's a cow give birth? Do we have to have ourselves inside the animal? Some of you have to be yeah, has to be inside the animal. I had some tweezers inside the animal once. Okay. Did he grate? Did he grace any of it with your fingers? Yeah, I guess certainly I would have been tapping around the eighth. We've still got drums. Taxophone, bass and get to our something in a cauldron . No one's touched anything in the cauld ron. Saucepan ? Yeah . An engine flames a bit of wood wouldn't rub it a lot. You know what I mean? You rub it? Yeah. Hot toothpaste. There we go. This is a drawer . The last two were a bucket of soup and Mount Edna. Not a bad one . But now it's back to the language classroom. We go Auckland Toothpaste . This is cauliflower, right? one , two , a one, two, three, as a loria carfi all Collis pastor. Naturally sounds qualify a corner pool. They all sound like the word. Blood Freis. Yeah, that's German I think. And here's the translation Culiflower , cauliflower . Culif lower. Beautiful song and of course educational and weirdly that's provided the background of the whole podcast. So thank you J,oe. I found that one quite haunting, quite sad. Yeah , yeah. You might do that at your funeral, Joe. Please do . Genuinely , I'd like it to be known that if I die , I want that piece played at my funeral. Do you think if Joe dies in the next year you'll go to the funeral, Greg? I don't think it would be appropriate for you to go. No. I'd like you to come. Then I'll be there. Great. It would be inappropriate now if you didn't go. Yeah. Now I'll definitely die. It's going to be a bit awkward now. If I died, would you be expecting an invite to my funeral? You don't get invites to you, that's the problem. My mum's got a very strict policy . You going before your mum? I mean realistically, yes The woman's strong as an ox . And of course, you would Yeah, you've seen. Yeah, I've seen. You've seen the image. Well, listen to find the bobbin up at my funeral as well. That version , if yes, yes. That would justify your presence. We'll say yes now, you'll. I could do the nan, I could do the full nan song at your funeral. Why not, yeah? Yeah John Keddy ate an apple on his way to work one day he didn't eat the core he just threw that bit away but John Keddy threw the apple core so hard it hit a cow and the cow it fell right over and it hit another cow. That cow rolled down a mountain and landed on a sheep. That got squashed so much it lost its voice and can no longer bleed. So John Keddy, please be careful when you chuck away your core. It isn't fair that little sheep can't make no noise no more. Stop Well, you do quickly have a chance to win a cart . It's a game of Rolls Royce. Have you played Rolls Royce before? No, okay. What you've got to do is roll your R's for the longest possible time while saying a Roy of my choice. The person who rolls Roy's the longest wins. So it's one of the Roll Royce, probably . Okay . You like cars? Yeah , yeah. Have you ever owned a Royal Rolls Roy? I've had no chance. So you've got one breath and your royal is a Roy who wore glasses, dyed his hair black with a member of the traveling Wilbury's, sometimes called the Big O, but also sometimes called the Roy or Buffalo , it's Roy Orbison. So you've got to roll your arms and say Roy Orbison for the longest time. In one continual one continual breast icon room s. I'll start it when the roy starts Best twenty point seven seconds. And you're in the lead. You are now in the lead. I think I can do way better than well, you didn't. Okay . Well, that's it, that's it. You're in the lead, Greg. twenty point seven seconds to be. I'll let you know if you want a roll royce. Thank you in a couple of weeks time. Thank you very much. But there we go . You can go now, Greg, thank you. In fact, thanks to everyone. Thank you for listening. You at home. Thanks to Joel Porter for mixing. Thanks for the pool at Miloko and Jamie and Ben for recording it. Thanks to Joe, Mark, that guy, Will and Ben for playing and thanks to our best guest ever by Miles, Greg Davis. Thank you . We'll see you very soon . Goodbye . A one, two, three, four, five . Stop . This is just to say oh sh ucks . Thanks for giving us five bucks Emma Fletcher Andrew Peeling David Burford , Alex Grant Caracompass , Juan Violet Snow Shawn O'Brien , Tim Ken nington Cameron Cloe , Daisy , Billiard Bruce Bailey , Ches Bury, well up against him. Luilyn , Fluelin , Fluelin. Thank you guys . These days they seem no longer feel a ball of a sil ent song . It's the sound of the sound of song or a sour song Oh hey summer season . We meet you again . You're sizzling hot mess with six hundred men . You're twenty degrees and we're eager to please I'm a snake map under my dog reach. The sun is so hot but it's so far away . I'm not gonna pop any summer . I take up a tub, I walk around the block and I come back ready to sand to sleep on my socks a bowl and a sweet sweet drive . I take the roof down the play while I ride. I'm a drop top sucks guy a jam in a jam . You hunk your hog is the sun face is taking the seem so long with a bird of the sun on side The sound of summer , the sound of some Well I worked in town but I was pretty mute sweat pouring down my pursuit . The kids are off school . They're already full. I've got two weeks off because that's all I get a for m I don't like the summer . It's much too hot for me . I've got bad skin sink Short ful design for freeze who look like Mr Freeze Mor shit ever see my new morning day so long fill the burn of the sun is all this a pull up lights and a pull out my sacks and they care as the cooper ance hard to play my sacks in this summer ready to convert ible I don't mind a flood at all I take a full my clothes off in the car , I put my socks up to my lips And now comes to the clip These day it seems alone in the bun of a sun . It's the sound the sound song gets so the day receives a long and a fun the sun is song . It's the sun the sound of the sun summer song these days they see it told I a bird or the sun miss the sound of some Totally pincers total pins of pine of the