Final Song and Dingle Time

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Yes Good evening and welcome And It's time for us to have a lovely time. We went online on our way to the venue. I looked to Google and I also tried Yahoo. Mark went on Facebook and Joe looked at Bing. W looked at some tweets and the pianist. He tried to reboot us Jeevesict whole section podcast Astic, The whole section podcast. Yeah, the whole section podcast. Brick it Down is the whole section podcast. Hello ull sound it is today. What a silky performance. Hey you guys, you talking to me? No, we're talking to you. Who are we? We're your worst nightmares and we have some problems, Houston. Some quotes from movies there We're going to look them up to get them right. Which movieies went out of time? Be Follow her team. Yeah Uh De Niro Do you feel lucky, guys? Okay, say hello to my little friends, Mark, Joe, Willip and Glenn or something. But no ben today. We don't have a drummer because He's not here. so best wishes to him and his. Instead, we have a lot more space banging. and the podcast Cat is here. So Mark, do you want to unleash the cat just to demonstrate? We've used the cat before haven't we? I can't remember when or why? Did Ben miss another poookun? that's Angelica Bells Angelica Bells, podcast, podcast Right so we've got the cat One of the greatates? Yes. So Mark, just do a solo on the podcast Cat Yes, so there's just four musicians left, but who's best? Let's find out. instruments at the ready With no hesitation. We're starting with you, Joe Please play Conation straight, go Four points. Mark, no hesitation. neighbourors Three points Glen or something. No hesitation, Ema Dale Stop. three points as well. Will it? No hesitation. Holly Oaks I good. I had you down as not getting it, and then I was going to do loads ofthers. Oh well, Six, you get five points Willip wins? Well done, Willip Pay attention today well it well done, and your prize is to play two minutes of your favourite ever music. off you go. O you go, we have two minutes of your favorite ever bass music. while I talk Yeah, there we go. So great start everyone. How is everyone Yeah fine, thanks.ally good Thankks. the last episode of the last sorry, last ep of the series season So of the season, thank you. see. So what have we learned? Mark, what have you learned aboutout the podcast, what have you learned from the experience? Oh, how did? That's the cat making that noise, goes away. Let's switch him off. Y it's I've learned how's it again to Cizk? Okay Jay, what have you learned? What have you learned? It's hard without the drums? It's hard without the drums. U What's your name? Glen? Glenn, What What have you learned? Not Glenn actually. What have you learned I've learned about Richard III. Yeah. And finally what have you learned? How to play Holly Oaks? And stop For those of you who've donated money to us via Patreon, we are truly thankful And if you're expecting and hoping to hear your dingle You will hear that dingle later because we are now grouping the tingles at the end of the episode. For that time will be dingle time. Dingle time! Tune in at the end of the episode for Dingle timeime Tingle time.ingle time Hey, before we start properly, it's not the potato episode. We genuinely did try to record that today, but it's not as easy as you might think. Instead, we're going to start with a silly song that Jo wrote that he wasn't sure about, but we all think it's fine You like smashing bowls and cups and plates, but you like to be safe, then you must take precautions and make sure you're in the right place helelmet and gloves would be advised and goggles to cover your eyes in very dangerous and every caution must be exercised And I am certain that up for the islands there is just one where they take this seriously, you wouldon't believe how much they care Of the many hotson the islands, I think it is the only one the name of it as you will know. It is called Calonia Conia Calonia Carefful lon This's called careful lone y! Well, look, we can't just sit here jabbering on like stupid idiots all day. We've got a one person special guest audience to introduce. So let's do that now It's Sarah Pasco. D're gonna do a good, dig good Sarah Sarah, hi. Welcome. Hey, Nice to see you. Nice to see you and everybody. Hello Hello. It probably all this way. that's very yeah, very thoughtful of you. It's almost What do you mean all this way? How far have you? Because Czic is not near anywhere. No of nehere too We used to record it in my basement, which was easier for me to get to and probably easier for Sarah as well. Yeah. But also creepy sounding. Yeah. You want to come and hang out with Six men in a basement. I'm all right, actually. Well look, before we start, Sarah, the pianist Glen has written you a joke Oh wow. Oh it's pretty exciting. Is it for me to stay on stage? It's about you. Oh brilliant. Off we go, Glen My name's not Glenn. Alex. I now can't remember your name. She've called him Glenn so much. Not easy, is it? It's one of those difficultes Tud keep in your head, isn't it Okay, here's the joke here's the joke. There isn't a joke Well you said ask Thra Yeah Why she likes playing mononopoly so much? Oh yeah. I know this joke. Oh what It's been done That's it Oh bye Hundreds hundredundreds of people. When I started comedy, someone at radio four said to me, We've got a title if you want to write it. reflect they. Yeah. ye. I didn't know it was you who started comedy. I It wass good of you. Yeah in the forties Just to cheew people up during the war Well, I guess we' leaving that, then, are we without we're not even doing the punchline? Definly ritating for people. Oh, I've just hit a chicken, I'm sorry. explain that. never explain. I think it'll be irritating for people listening who then don't understand what we're talking about. so you do have to finish the joke. Oh, I thought it' be good to irritate the. Oh really, is that the aim of your podcast? I think maybe end the podcast by shouting the punchline to it Youould do that,? I'm not sure what the punchline is. No, no. Maybe Sarah could shout it Well O of us call it's your surname is sort of the punchlight. Yeah yeah, we change it. Yeah. I think if they're listening and they don't they've got the clues of mononopoly and my surname and they don't come up with it. then they don't deserve it. They will not collect And ye Well look. what do you want to do now, Sarah? Oh hello. You've got three choices. Is it a? Yeah, three choices. Num one, chit chat. number two I'll sing a song about you based on your IMDB details. For number three, we could tell each other jokes like normal comedians do all the time Normal comediian Yeah, we just tell each other jokes like comics in a car. Really? If you want I've printed some out. Have you? Well, I've printed out seven of the best from the Good Housekeeeping Guide O does sound tempting. Can we segue from chit chat into your jokes? Can you try and put those jokes into a conversational chit chat? Yeah so that we could all chat Yeah. And then you can just drop them in because actually I think that is like a kind of comedian's car ride. is what you have is people and then one person try and stuff out This is is to help be that guy. you're the guy. So we're in the car then, are we in in this I'm driving. What do you want to put on the radio? Oh, I see. Yeah, we could put I'd like some lovely peace and quiet. No no, let's put Yeah let's put radio on. Let's put some radio on Let's put on a nineties Let's put on some nineties house music You' to the right place Yeahah yeah. Yes, this is the kind of thing. Hey. Hey Sarah, how have you been? Really well, thank you, Alet. Yeah, it's work going alright. Yeah, I like work, do you? Yeah, yeah. I like work, but I was thinking of becoming a fisherman recently. Really? Wh Well, I just think it'd be fun to be a fisherman. And you know what I'd say if I was a fisherman and I met a magician? No. I'd say pick a cod, any cod. That was number two. Have you had any really good or bad news recently, Sarah? U Chitchat. This is just Chitchat. Have had any good good or bad news? No, I've had any like kind of medium news. Yeah Me too. Yeah ye. Has it been your birthday recently? It was last year, yeah. Yeah that Yeah. didid a pony sing happappy birthday to you? Unfortunately not. I couldn't get it because it was a little hoorse V'ser very loud. was the cable? Sorry. I was been enjoying the chit chat so much I kept turning up the radio I on the radio down a bit. Oh has gone past us. What was that vehicle? I think it's a car. It was a big one though. It looked A lorry? Well They had four wheels. Four wheels and two bikes. No, it has four wheels and flies Oh that is a garbage truck Oh it flies. Well, we can sing the song right you now if you want. Always, please. Like o, just to say Willip, you're looking very attentive. ust the way you're sitt So thank you. likeike most songwriters, Sarah when I need inspiration, I turn to the Internet movie database and that's what I've done today for you. So in a bid to furnish the listener with some extra details about you. I found some programs you've been in and I've sort of set them to the tune of sayay you say me. sounds nice. And do you know the tune I don't, but this would be like a more fun CV if I was trying to get a job. You can use And I wanted them to remember some of the things I've done before. Well, let's treat this as a job application. Yeah, If anyone's listening is making anything. And I'd like to be in it, please. Anything in particular? Television. Television shows. Yeah Yeah. Yeah. No more podcasts. Yeah. No it's a pro of. It' your last podcast. Yeah. podlast. Okay, we'll demonstrate the tune so you know it. Okay. We'll demonstrate it with a little joke. Here we go Say you, you, S me, me Say it together. For me M you. Okay, so that's the do do you recognize song Yeah Yeah, sing it beautifully. Thank you there. It's by J you knowo it's by Deorge Michael. Nly? Jeremy Beedle No We no musicrosss betweenetween the two Lionel Richie Ly Rich. And before we do, we're going to play a quick round of which Lionel So kind of a base quiz a quiz riff, please. Which line are messy or richy I've got some facts here A you put the drum machine on for this or Who's guessing the facts? O the rhythm at the? I can press the rhythm. Yeah. Okay, let's have some sambber for this. Sarah, who would you like to play against here? whichich member of the band? You can use instrument if you' remember the band? Play against. Which one's did? it looks like Gn. Just a little more like for Gn than I did. Okay, so take in turns. It's Pasco to go first. Is it Messy or Richy? He's got a tennis scholarship I say. Incorrect, it's Richie, Lana Richie got a tennis scholarship've got him. He's an active gardener His favorite flour is Buking Vilia Messie, It's Richie, It's Nill Allstill. He collects fireplaces. Oh wow. Yess you' Richie. He collects fireplaces.. It's Richie. His father is called Lionel I feel riching Richie. It is Richie. Mie's dad is called H Hy Since gave one L to the Pianist almost became a priest O one, He appeared in a twenty twelve television advert for Japanese face wasash. Scalp D. Messy. It was messi. two one. Everyone are you drink water and lemon. Messi. It's Richie. It' still too one he was a support act for the Jackson five. Messy, correct three work He lists one of his favorite past times as relaxing Messy. It is messy. She's back in at three two. Grown grown Iraqi men get misty eyed by the mere mention of his name. Messy. It's Richie, according to ABC News three two. He met the Pope in twenty thirteen N a bitie. No, three two, it's messy. He's actually very shy Rity, No messie. He doesn't know how to read or write, music It's Richie. Last one who was named after Lionel, Richie. Messy. It is messy Pinis wins. That's a good guyven'tough? Yeah I would I think he could have chucked in a couple of lyel blares You don't think you should restrict yourself to two people Yeah Messy Richel Blair. All right I will take now on board So any other linels? L Schwier, of course The couldould have been better Oh, it's because it was so good. I want to do it again, but you'd have to add other linyels. Yeah Or also if you're playing it with other people. Yeah, which I will. Yeah, of course you will. We'll all be playing it at Christmas with our familyies. board game. Any religious festival Well, here's your song finally. So bit a speed up version of say You S sayay me and this is your television career so far. They're not all featured in it Pick some highlights. Oh yeah Sarah Pasco. Sarah Pasco has been on TV. twenty twelve QI Frankie Boyles Autopsy difficult bit The increasingly poor decisions of Todd Margaret Live at the Apollo and the Jonathan Ross Sh C remember tune. Horizon Dawn of the dririver' car as narrator, Richard Osmond's House of Games and celebrity Chase. Back to the chus now. W one A eightight of ten cats, eight hundred ten cats does countd down Comedians giving lectures. Would I lie to you? Travel man and stop? Was it lovely? It's so lovely. It was like a walk down memory lane. you missed out it wass H section TV show But we did do countdown together. do all on that together. And travel Ay room. I think that's the montage I'll see like on my deathbed. It' just beenound. I really hope that'd be bringing in my ears. Yeah. I I feel like Sarah's been there at all the important moments of the horn sections Or at least for me, yeah. Yeah at Edinburgh. Yep, that was my first memory. Yeah we have we just bump into each other, don't we again We do call on you because you're well first of all, you're musical Well, not really. Joink first of of all, you're comical Yeah, but Join you're nice. Yeah. I'm nice. Nice person what' what sort of stuff you're listen to at the moment? s? What sort ofuff listening to Whatort of stuff you're lening to I'm listening to shhuffle Like when you shuffle all the songs on your iPod and you forget things. I'm listen to the song Gold Digger. Oh that song It's a great song. It's a great song. Do know do you know much modern music Modern music. I like Drake. How many of the top ten youitten you could Oh none. Exactly.. I reckon you'll get half of them. Okay. Is one of them that young thing Yes. Oh she's a t. Yeah yeah, yeah we'll get we'll get there. We'll get. Joe, C you do some top ten music on your trumpet trumpet, please So if you can say just whether or not you know them The current official singles chart the BBC, hereere we go How. R, cool. A number ten. It Harry Styles. Oh, yes. He knows him. Yes. Alumni. Yeah. Justin Bieber. I would know him yeah. Yeah. What is it? Number eight? Joel Corey. No clue. Anyone know Joel Cy? Yes. You know I accidentally Googled him yesterday. He's a British teJ. He used to be on Geordy Shore. Number seven, future No Future No Featuring Drake. Oh ye. Number six, Louis Capaldi. Oh ye name Good s of hum Funny guyunny guy.. fununny guy. G goodood music. Number five, Jua Lita. Yeah. Yeah. number four, Saint Joe Soutt J H M H. H't heard of Sain.t Jim? An American rapper. Number three. Roddy Rich. Sott R IC C H. is an American rapper. Number two. Billy Elish. Yes, I know Billy Iish. Number one We kend weekend but notone with third. Yeah Canadian ro Any? Yeah Yeah. Well you've done six out of ten? Yeah. And stop. so it was interesting. It was interesting It feels like we could have got a joke out of Lap here who just had a lap here Yeah, we can do it. I did Ramish's programe. you know, his mum's there. Ram Ram Rangganathan. Rangathan you know. And full of a name. You'd like him. He's lovely. yeah, I'm sure he's musical. Rangan Nathan. And his mum's on the show and one of the experts his mum's on show. Yeah, he does. They work together a lot. And one of the things they do is they they get her tell of things in the modern world she has toess what it is and she guess that Julipa was a frog So now that's all I see. Where do you say that word? as I imagine it. break it Your dad. Oh yeah. I was a musician. Yeah, is a musician too. Is a musician? Yeah. And you sung on Let's sing and Dance for comic relief. Yes, I did, ye. Those are facts from Wikipedia. Yeah. I've got three odder sentences now. Wikipedia. Okay. Pasco, read English at the University of Sussex, where she befriended Carriene Lloyd. I befriended her verb in there Mbe Carriad. It sounding very much like you did all the work. I did. I met her in the first woon a school production of in the first term, and I thought she was the coolest woman I'd ever ever heard or seen. She was talking about a cervical smear and I didn't know that people could talk about those things And I' befriended her around Carry out. Yeah. And what did the befriending process look like? trrue story. she came back to my halls of residence and we drank so much tea that we had to lie down. because you can have too much caffeine And then she was ofotato. There' so many cups of tea we stay up all night drinking tea and then we're ill. When you lay down Were you then friends? Yeah, that was it The second slightly olddd one after graduation, she worked as an actress. and supplemented her income with temporary work I didn't know there wass as much detail on it. Yeah, Caree and I we lived together with her mum. were A university. We were proper friends.. I lived in her brother's old bedroom and her m fifty pounds k was my rents, which is how I've done anything actually, because I didn't have to get a proper job did tempan? There was temporate n permanent. st No o. Finally, in october twenty fourteen, she appeared in Nevermind The Buzzcocks and stood in line at the Iidentity Parade round as a former dancer and backup singer for entterertainer and Robbie Williams' father, Pete Conway. Yeah, it was so fun. This was actually brilliant, so basically they twisted it. I had to go and stand in the lineup to see if he'd remember me from the year two thousand. to see if Roby Williams's dad Pete So Pete was brought out. he sat in his in my chair and they made everyone wear t shirts saying I am Sarah Pasco and he had to try and remember who it was. But do you want to know something sneaky. I watching the show on the monitors, so he knew which one I was So afterwards I was like, I'm so surprised you remember it went, oh, there was on the monitors We've got some juicy gossip on the show. Hot gossip from twenty fourteen. I want you to do a duette with me now, please. Oh, duette, okay So I've just u launched this on Sarah Pasco. We're going to do an updated version of Elton John's Your song. I've given you some words And my tactic with singing is just to shut my eyes. Okay, beautiful. just get lost in it. Yeah, get lost in it and then look at Open the look at Mark and he'll either go, ye, that's good. withith a little thumbs up or youll go, o, that's not nice.. I'm going not look at Mark for that exact reason. I don't want to see. you' done it When you've done it well, he gives you a really good Feeling Oh, that's nice. G luck everyone It's funnny This feelin inside It's only high Don't have much money, but boy if find did Iseweere we both could live I was a sculptor. Is there again? No T potions inner Traveling show of m but's the best I can do My gift is my song and. This one's for you I great sing with you. That was so lovely. I now feel like that your song should have a little bit of the end where he kind of checks back in to see how I like the song. Do you like our song? Yeah, feeedback on the song. Whatereas my heart and soul I think you did a really good job there. We both yeah, both had't Good bits. I had bad business. Yeah. I had bad business too. We had all business. Yeah Well, look,, the guys have asked me if they can ask you some questions. Ohes, please. So have you prepared your questions guys Yes, looking forward to receiving them in my brain Good luck. They love asking the guests the questions. Yeah, I can tell. Would you like any music underneath the questions Yes, please. Yeah. What style would you like? What style would I like this time? like the chill out bit after the nineties dance music. Like the chill out room. Probably you again, is it? the man with the piano guitar version I suppose. You got a guitar? Have you? I think it's why I find the saxophone so hard to listen to because of my dad. Thank you. It's not your fault, it's just triggering. So he was a simple saxophone player, just saxophone. That's his job. No my dad is, yeah. He's a jazz saxophonist and he does improvisation on the saxophone. Wow. what an upbringing Yeah How much I know how much Mark practices every day? Yeah. ye, my dad at least eight hours still. Oh my word. Really? You more impressive five minutes every day. I genuinely that. Oh my. My dad's got a little soundproof cupboard that he goes in. J would be like a coat cupboard. but he's put carpet underlay on the walls and just stands there a lonely man. acc Not like a lonely man. a lonely man. Who do you want to ask the first question? Should we go aroundound in a circle? Yeah, o. Alex, you don't have any more questions? I've got a question for you ask after their question.. Right, so I'll have Mark first, please That's not the chill out, is it? Why do you have to stop playing to think of your question What Can I play and sing and read? Let's say. G s H up. They don't call me Mrter Confident for nothing. Here's my cool question. Have you ever met Tony Blair or Rndy Murray? Booah. That's such a good question.. Wh also playing, I haven't. I've met Nigel Farage, who best people ask about. But I did a gig with him before Brexit. Yeah, a guardian live gig. We had shared a dressing room Yeah, prettyt cool. It really cool. enigmatic and no, not remotely. Okay. But also this thing comes up because people expect that you're going going going be rude to people and obviously I didn't quite know Nigel Farage or what he was going to do, but you just end up human politeness takes over. Good for you. Yeah just goo. I think you're probably regret being polite. Depends what he goes on to do. If he Oh God yeah. Yeah. If someone was like, ye, I met Hitler early in his career, like, we were in the same dressing room. You don't think he's pak then, Fage? Maybe not. whoo knows. Stanger things have happened. Next question show the littleittle Tumpeter. My turn, my turn hush now it's Captain Question Rausing for duty. Sarah Pasco, how many different haircuts do you think you've had? I've had four and I'll tell you all about them if you want Oh'd love to hear about them. I think I only never had one haircut. Do do you mean that the hair act of cutting hair or styles of haircut. What major? What do you mean? styles?, I've only ever had one haircut, which is just like it hanging down. And you have different colourors in for a bit That's not a cut though. No not. That's just shampoo you put in. Is it? Yeah Yeah, it's really good. What about you? What's your haircuts I but well, funy enough, actually I had long hair like you. Yeah until the age of about eighteen, long blonde hair. Yeah early at the back. ringlets. Beautiful. It's like there, isn't? like there? Oh yeah... So I that's to look forward to as soon as I turn nineteenth. come to every Willipon. This one will definitely be the best question so everyone get ready to be well impressed. Halifs, do you know any facts about Halifs? Or should I say? Do you know any Halifacts? Oh Willip? Vy clever Oh wow, really one r up size today Hy Fs It's in the north of England. Is that the one? Yeah Yeah. Same name as a bank And a last tango thereof Is it where John Richardson lives? It's where he' It's very close, think Yeah, It's the Brge he lives. Yeah. Oh there we go. and the exact address is. Yeah, Don't it just liist near there. That's as much as I know about Halifax. Happy with that, Will it? Very good, yes, exactly what I was after. And the final question from this guy Listen, Sarah Do you think we will one day all look back at this time and think Well, that was all very silly All of us What have been this time Rat it one this era thatou But today Now this bit, when you ask me the questions,. I hope so, because in that that means that kind of speaks well of the future, doesn't it? If we're still alive and getting to look backwards Great questions, guys. Really great questions. Great great question and answers.. My last question is, do you want to play a quick game of let's see who's looked at more things than everyone else now? Yes. Yes Everyone plays a musical instrument, it's an easy game I'm gonna read a list of things you have to stop playing if you haven't looked at the things Okay I would c. Gonna to buy the cat? Yeah, buy the cat. Yeahah. You might have to sort of That should be fine. That should be nice to listen to. Yeah. Do you care what key we play in everybody? Does anyone play the white keys, I guess So stop playing If you If you haven't looked at the thing that I say, okay, you do have to have a clear memory of the thing in your mind. It can't be from TV. you have to have seen it live Music is ust a tough a tough ask. hereere we go. Silly cat Number one, A donor Kab. Ever everone looked at a donor Kabab? Yeah Yeah Nber two, A hammock. Yeah E looked a hammock. An older person in a hammock Iveryone remember looking at that? Have we lost to you, Sarah You can sit down and say we've also never looked at an older person hammock Why not? Not interested. None my business. Lazy as she gets to work, didnn't they? I was laying around. The old people must contribute to the economy. A tiger lo? A tiger loaf. we all looked at a tiger loaf. A tiger? Tiger. A tiger. Not on TV. Yeah. Stroked one A big digger Wh you? A big diger. You look at a big digger. It's Diggerand. It's a shame we lost you so early, Sarah. I've not seen any of these other things now. A bad wound. You will look at a bad wound Will it describe your bad wound? I saw someone who had a bad wound on their leg. On their leg. Yeah R description. They feelg on there. A spice girl. Have you ever looked at a spice girl in real life?. Can I come back in? No, no, nos all man it. It't matter if you didn't ex for everybody to. Have you ever looked at the big Lorory without the container of bit on the back? so it looks like it's got a massive head and no body. Look at that Yeah I look here them. Have you all looked at punk beds? Step didn a m. Four poster bed? A bed on a train for some reason? Oh go. Wow. A bed on the street for some reason? You guys have seen everything. It's amazing live.es you lived I We've lost the pianis. We lost the basis. What have you not seen a bed on the street? Yeah a bed on a train Okay Have you ever seen a steamy play? the two Horn playays? A steamy play It think so So like a fce Saby? It' annoy sex is' sexy? It's like meant to be sexy, but it's just annoying. Okay, well we didn't get to was draw. Draw between Joe and Mark. We didn't get to someone com out of a drain, a nice invention, a dead king, a bottle of melted gold and diamonds, nearly se through wood and a squirrel bigger than a bus Right, so She's had a busy aftero. Oh my cats mry This episode is sponsored by ZockDoc. Have you been putting off a doctor's appointment or need a dentist and you don't know where to start We've definitely been there and that's why we use ZockDoc. Actually, over the holidays, Michael had a dental emergency and seemingly every office was closed, but we hopped ono ZockDoc, found an in network dentist, had great reviews, saw real time appointments available, which was key. It was on New Year's Day, and booked an appointment in just minutes. It took so much of the stress out of the already stressful situation ZockDog makes it easy to search and compare over two hundred fifty thousand local in network providers across more than two hundred specialties. so you can find the right doctor or dentist and book instantly Taking care of your health just got easier, download the Zock Dog app today and book that appointment on your to do list. That's ZOC DOC Zakda. Hi, it's Paige from Giggly Squad and this episode is sponsored by Experian Boost Summer Glow Up, check Gow up even better Boost your credit scores instantly by getting credit for bills you're already paying, your phone, utilities, rent, and insurance I wish dating kind of worked like that. Connect your bank account, add those on time payments to your Experian credit file, and your FICO score updates right away. You could instantly raise your FICO score by an average of fourteen points with Experian Boost. Download the Experian app for free today. Results will vary. Users who received a boost improve their FICO score eight from Experian by an average of fourteen points. See appppstore or experperian. com for details. Results will vary, N all payments are boost eligible. Users who received a boost improve their FICO score rate from Experian by an average of fourteen points. someome may not see improved scores or approval ods. Not all lenders use Experiian credit files, and not all lenders use scores impacted by Experiian boost. See experxperian. com for details Hey guys, who wants to listen to a song that Joe and I have written together and no one else has heard yet except for my wife who quite liked it Y Your wife's going running all the time. Yes. How's it going? She's got her fingers crossed that the marathon might be cancelled. coronavirus really? I thought she wass going be upset by that. Oh, if you say that you've got it, you can't go. There There's another way of getting out of it. Now She is enjoying it, but she did a half marison on Sunday. Yeah. it was quite a long way. That' too far. Yeah, two of them No. Okay, well, we're going to play the song now. it's called Is it called Iaw the King S you you write the lyrics. It's about Richard II? Well youre going to find out It's called I So . Oh we had a song about Richard IId last week,s I hope not out it's c It's about Hry VI to go give your poster. I' not gonna tell you, it's not my poster She's referring to something Wh Listeners do not us know about have spotted. Okay There's posters of me. Alex got paid two hundred and seventy pounds. hundred and eighty pounds. hundred seventy pounds to be Hry the eighth. hundred and eighty pounds, o Yeah you're right' a twe' a murderer Darong? This is called I saaw the King. Shut up H Shops I saw someone I did not think I'd see. The person I saw was somebody from the royal familyily The royal person that I saw when I was popping to the shops Nak it from by stop and from move by stamp. He w no top The blossoms Tiny green bed He didn't have a crown in fact, he didn't even have a head He lay still in a fridge to try to keep all me was wrapped in bread. He was covered in light pink sauce and I wondered if he was dead for Good. I wondered how the king had died, I was told he had died at sea He was crushed by an iceberg and that had killed him apparently Oh what as shamed you die in such a way seem to me so absd Wter than chances after all of being crushed by an niceberg Let is I know be before boms sandwiches I know be for boms sandwiches I know be forom sandwich be now beideish musically I really liked it. And I'm a vegan and I still really enjoyed it That's saying something. It is saying something I do. I think it's because of the prawn for a while I thought he was actually killed by an iceberg and then I thought, well actually then that's really useful, isn't it? That's's a natural disaster and then you're making sure his body isn't wasted So you didn't see the iceberg lettuce joke. Well then now I didn't see it coming. No. A actually the lettuce was the bad e it. so if anything, you should be apologising. Yeah. But it's just not worth taking on vegetables J just li and live L live and let live. Well, speaking of veganism, hey Sarah. Oh hi. Do you have one recommendation about anything for all the band and all the listeners? It is my recommendation to kick things off Sff spread Oh yeah, people have gone on about this. Thats ye It's vegan. Well, I'll tell you about it. The Lotus Biscov spread story begins in Belgium in early two thousand seven With the simple but brilliant idea of Else Shepard's, a culinary enthusiast, her idea It was to create a creamy sweet spread with a unique taste of lotus bisccof biscuits. You know those biscof biscuits It's like that, but you spread it on it's amazing I'm finished with recipe in hand, Else entered the Belgian prrimetime TV show De Bedenkers, the inventors. Competing against two thousand other entrants November the twenty fifth a jury food experts TV personalities chose Else's spread recipe as one of the finalists of the competition did not win She didn't win Th chickens? Television. Someone invented television. Okay No No, didn' win. Well I enjoyed the way you said it didn't win. shocking. Yeah, I could tell from your voice. Yeah That's my recommendation. T off sprad. I've got recommendation. And I think this is something that anyone could enjoy a soup Not matter how hungry you are What you fancy? soup, makeake some soup. I had day. Yeah. and I wasn't hungry I still enjoyed it. Yeah, that's it. You can eat it if you're not hungry, but even if you're really hungry, you can have a really big bowl and it will still fill you up actually. And you can put anything you wants in it. and I actually think it's usually so good for you. Weve two great recommendations so far. let's have a look at this guy over here. Have you got any recommendations for us? There were two things I was going to make today, but Sarah, actuallyct, I was gonna madeade a banana bread at the weekend vegan hotant, which was really nice. Yeah U I didn't have it. You counted two on your fingers? Yeah. Wh You do that when you get to five I think, notot two Oh my fingers were never luck at it In his defense, sometimes the conversation does get a bit distracted, and if he knows he's still got a finger held up he knows he hasn't finished. Wh use your hand th when you know or a leg And I was going to make a vegan tortilla There about didn't have time what about you? What do what do you think about all this sort of stuff? I don't care. In fact, I'm barely aware that you're talking to me. I can make the correct facial expressions when necessary xt stare and smile and nod as if I hear what you say But I declare I might as well be a million miles away. But I won't know the details, I'll miss the context. I'll be baffled when asked to recount what you said I don't care Hey band, last person to say a word that Ryonph with Pasco is the worst person ever 's go Dracula Did you say sir? Fiasco. Tkco good Fiascoa iss There's three more. Tabasco. Tabasco' excellent. It's between Ed Mark I said Joe San Francis Yes. No you're the worst person ever been. Well I said Joe. Don't r with J. Joe doesn't ry with Pasco. does. You need something big before Joe he didn't actually specify. He didn't say last more than last syllable R Thanks, Wily. Yeah on your sided Okay, which side are you on M U yourours, Alex. Thank sururpred Surprise. Do you think Joe ryes with Pasco? Okay, well there's only one way to find out put it in a poem. Okay. And here you go. I was going, I was walking downstairs with Joe And we saw Sarah Pasco. Yeah, it does it work. Yeah it does. It. I'm thest person of the world Yeah. You could have also have had Antip Pastco or Chirasco. Well, look, I'd like you to sing me a Whitney Houston song now, Sarah. Exactly. That wr? Yeah It's an example of a caveat song. Now if you don't know caveat songs, their songs where the meaning of the song changes with one Important line hidden within it. caveat, for example. Yeah. Do you know the song wiggle it? I do. Wiggle it. Just a little bit. J a bit it' a caveat there. Don't w. Don't over wiggle. Do not over wiggle. There can be too much wiggling. Yeah. Or I'll see you when you get there. Yeah If you ever get there. Yeah the caveat in that song. The latest one has been sent in by Will Stewart who got in touch and he said he's seeing us in Kingston wants us to mention him. You't all mention Will Stewart We'll Stewart. We'll St it I'm bl, Will Stews wouldould you mentioning W Stuart? I don't want toair. not til I know more about him and his character Okay, well, I'll get back. Oh Once once I've met him in Kingstyle, that you know what he's. Can you Yeah Okay, so this is h be by the table. Well, we sell tea towels on us ten pounds or a CD. I thought we might be obliged to give him a free one forribut I' hope that the way J just give him two pounds off, charge him eight pounds. Thank you' there a good idea, Yeah. So listen, I don't want I mean I am launching this on. Do you know this song at all There's an intro first, so I don't What it This is what I was going to tell you about the last intro. Did ever tell you about when I auditioned for Baring M' My kindind of peopleeople when I was fourteen? No. Well I had never ever sung my song before without the tape. so I didn't know that they wouldn't be singing it along with me so just started crying in the shopping centre Well, Whitney will not be sing on look at me now Sing him with the horn se So this is a caveat song by Whitney Hooster. Yeah. C Take me forward I am Be I'll never change all my colors for you Take m I'm never F too much. just All that you are and everything that you do. That's the caveat from Whitney Very nice I think you're got to get a musical out of this. I think I helped Yeah, I think we'll get a musical. Thank you Oh that's true. Thank you, Wney. So where do you saycles and horses? the two of you? Yeah, we could do. Okay Bagsate. Oh, o Just to clear up the caveat, she's saying takeake her love, share her life. She won't asker much. I you never ask for too much. Not too much Just All that you are and everything you do. So that's all of you. that's your personality, your spircial. And also your work, everything you produce, yourour ability to children. Your journeys. Children with other people, Hers now. You know what the song is called Reasonable demands. It's called I have it's called I have I have nothing. Reasonable to demand is lovely subtitle' the name It has nothing. Well, then that explains it. She's a ghost. Yeah. so she needs to get inside and then be you. It's a good caveat,n't it? So thank you. Will Stewart. Will Stewart, I take it all back. Yeah Here's a shout out That was one of the worst experiences in my life just then It was of how flattering this era? No that it was The other day I was having a really nice sleep. Why are you not counting one on your fingers And t at I was having a really, really nice sleep and then had an awful fight and it woke me up and it ruined my day. And that was just like I was having the lovely sleep with Sarah singing. and Alex started singing and it absolutely ruined my day. Is your cat okay? Yeah, it's fine. It was through the cat flap the cat. T trying to get the other cat out h It was horrible. Yeah, that's horrible. Eotal episode,n't it? Yeah. I think it's really good to share though. Always Yeah, not diseases I want all of it, everything you are, including your diseases. Hey, Willip? Yeah. You've got another song for us, is that right? Yeah. And this is called Wherear A Mack. Yeah. Is that the pumpime What's the punchline? Don't tell him it I've not heard this before, Sarah. Oh, Willip has contributed two songs to the episode. Yeah at the last minute. With your guitar being mustered, is it sometimes hard to know what to wear? Do it look like it? Just t. He hass gone for very neutr colorss, doesnn't he? Yeah So Alex usually asks me to supply some kind of context to these songs and they're never any context. So obviously I'm quite close to bottling this, but Sarah I wonder if you Do a favor Yeah and read the fictitious contxt. Okay Over it's quite long. Okay. It's really long. Oome atmospheric music Okay T But a Jav it Sji Javid is that what do we call him? Yeah. did Javid's great auntie Esmmerlda's eyes clicked open My peopleupil darted one way and then the other She jumped off, intending to do seven burpees, but she remembered too late that she had again slept in the one person dome tents at the end of the garden because the house stunk. Therefore, she bumped her head on a pole and stumbled She whipped on her yellow and green sports onesy and adjusted her oppal frruits headband so she could view the horizon She squinted and gruffly muttered her catchphrase, talkalk to her by Beryl, her funky tailor Nacure abores the work shine The air was cold with mountain dew and steam emanated from her nostrils. She put her head down, thrust her elbows behind her head, and sprinted along the gravel path to her country house, creating a whirlwind of dust for the entire fifteen meters As she got to the door, she looked back across the fields The sky was dark and yellow and the sun just thinking about rising jutted her hips forward placed her hands on her hips, and through gritted teeth, she scornfully muttered, was the workh She squinted again at the horizon and saw at last what she had spent this lonely week waiting for Chostie was coming she cried, and as she cried wallop, her lip curled up, she sneered, growled, and whispered the word Yes She said Wallop. Again, a little louder. Wallop. This time, as she said the word wallop, her right hand slashed the bonnet of her pimped up purple utility truck. Wallop. She said, smacking the bonnet of her purple jeep and at the same time punching the air with her other hand and stamping on the ground with the foot that she wasn't balancing on. Wll upll up She bellowed, smacking the Jeep and punching the air every single time. It's here Posty handed over an A four brown envelope SJ's great SJ's great auntie Esmmerlda snatched it off him and ran inside, punching the air and shouting triumphantly. It's the sheet music for the new single by menswear. I'm going to play it on my mini moog It it called, the postie asked after her By now, she was so far away that her response was little more than a distant waail. It's cold J kid But what It's your job. This shit Yeah.. Oh. I mean, I think a lot of listeners would have seen that coming. There's only three of us in here wearing jumpers, Which of us was it about? a good question Tinest, the guest, the host , I don't know by menswe It's definitely not me. It's one of you two. Oh dear, we're all almost there. We've got one game which I've written, which I don't think will work onene song and that's it. That's it So let's play, give us half a song, Alex It's the catchphrase that has haunted me for many years. G giveive us half a song, Alex And today we're going to really enjoy it as I give you half a song. The way the game works is I s s I sing a song but I only sing every other word of the song. Alternate words and the tune will be different and you have to guess what the song is and it's too hard Okay Okay. So shout out your name, if you know the song. Just play any tune on the piano. Can you just play the rules again, Alex? Yeah I'm again's really confused. Im sing hf song, but instead of splitting it down the middle, I'm sing every other word. I love you. You end up singing the melody of No no, becauseuse it's too hard. Okay. And we shout out our own name if we if you think you know. o. So then the answer. And then yes, and then the o Here we go Not for off she She M. Queen A scene Don't but do mean Wand To dance the in she either poopedactly in round. Billy J? Yeahes. She made me name Billy as caus scene. Okay good. Everyone joined the game? Is it two int ten? It's really good. Is it? This'll be great on the TV O the TV list thing. Don't understand it. Do doesn't matter. You just play your little piano. Okay. Okay,ext one. Differe type of music, please? This is U Gable. Eminently getable. Yes bound. There's lady. sureure. All glitters, gold, o wild stairway heaven. Yes, Jose? be st heaven. It is there heaven. When get she of stores all with word can come O and buying stairway heaven. o. there are three left. One one so far. Markinjer differentnt type music, ple D gonna the that. G it too But you somehow realize you do I believe anybody feels way do you. Oh it Back beat. Word on street, that fire you're in Yes Jo It was wonderable. It was wonderable. I say his little galigo is not fair. Yeah,w one, right? Isn't playing that one though. , That's always., there' three more for one. way three. we're now way thir eight. Okay. Right. Okay. this one is gettable Different type of music evinidently get. Hello, M. I'm wondering after these you took go everything. M Yes, Mark. Hello By Adele. correct Oh me This is a good game th. It's a very good game. Yeah Only the horn players have gotten so far, two each between you. Could I have a different ty of music, please pian Is the next one Hello by Lin orchie? Oh Okay Is it Hello byol Lin or Messi? I tell you what it is, it's getable. It's emminanently getable. Right, here we go.. God the God our quueen. Log our quueen! Got the s Victorious. It is God save the queen Right, L last one, loveovely version. It's actually just Mark and Joe can win this. you can all join in. Mark three, two up on Joe No one else do. How many are you left? One. So he can't win it. Nobody can make a draw then I have to do.lesess we make this one available for two points. Yes, this one is available for two points. C itable Yeah a good idea. Okay Oh just sorry, sorry, this one is getable. eminently getable Right. I'm Scoutman. Dy Yogas? Yes Scout, Yes. Scoutman. It is just a brilliant D Sibbyo dub Y dub. Skibby dip dub dub. D dub, I'm Scare Man, Skiby dip, Dub Dub. That's a really good guy, Ale isn' it? That's good one. I actually think it is Alex. We' not just being nice. It's a really good game. I like it. it love it. Did you ask if I liked her Yeah, okay, and I guess yeah, I loved it. Also really good playing of music. they were so distracted as tiles. Right, Well, Sarah, what are you up to and how can people give you money to see you doing these things? and have you got any exciting big new plans? exciting new plans. I don't know. what are you up to? Do you want to plug anything? Yeah just filmed a sitcom. It'll be on BBC two later this year. so we're just in the edit at the moment. Amazing. Yeah. I don't know that's big thing. Yeah. Is it called? Out of her mind? Brillant. And are you the star and the writer and? Yeah. I regret doing quite as much of I mean, it's very arrogant, isn't it? But yeah is out of her mind? Out of her mind yeah. On channel four. twoy twobg Welln't me? That's probably the worst Is that a good thing to say? It's a complimentary thing to say because what you're saying is it could be something really successful in tr Fback. Nothing will ever be as successful as feleedback. So what you're going is justust fail in her footsteps Out of her and who else is it? Is anyone else we know in it? I'll tell you you' re isn't it. the whole cast will be that. I've got the same sister, the same fair. She's good actually. They're very good. a very good show. I've called him Sexy Vicar. It's not at all to be at English Yeah offune. Now to my mind ask everyone I've got it yeah, we got it made, yeah but I should have I should have got you guys to do. Is it too late? No? You need any incidental music? Maybe. Wellill doesn Are there any jokes in it? Yeah, whereere after it he can do his bass. know that would be great because sometimes you know when jokes well, jokes that I've written, not you guys, but I've written jokes that maybe are funny to me and other people are saying, cut that. It's not that funny. I need the music under underneath it that makes it funny. Well, it will do that. fs flat Yeah That's just laugh. Yeah. And then people just laugh and they won't know why. Just would be the suggestion. When's it on Every September, I think. birthday A. Yeah, it's your birthday. All of September every year. Yeah, for my birthday Oh thank you. Out of my mind. Out of her mind. Out of her mind, sorry Yeah P anance Any sit comoms, come up Oh no, no, cool. Well, look, I'll tell you what sort of music I like. And that's massive dance songs. Yeah. I like massive dance music Do you know Turnown for what by DJ Snake? No You know Minnie Ripperton's lais fleur No. You probably do know that one. that sounds familiar. It's the one that goes It go bigger, it is that. it gets bigger and bigger. And it gets bigger and bigger and bigger and it features a massive drop. And I've realized recently that I'm into massive drops. Oh yeah. Mark, what's a massive drop musically starts again in an exciting way. It's a sudden change of rhythm or bass, wasn't it? And typically preceded by a build section in the brain. Yeah If you googled it Yeah, yeah It's The the moment in a dance track when tension is released. Yeah and that's what I'm into. Yeah, It's like I've being on a fairground ride that second before you drop. Yeah Isn't it? That exact split second when your sumit goes That's exactly what it is. We've never done that in our songs before, but we're going to do it now to end the series. We're going to do an instrumental buildup. This is why arena' full of people suddenly start jumping up and down A acccording to a magazine. Yeah. alsoso recreational drugs. So if I don't start jumping up and down, don't be offendous. You're going to hide you some drugs. You will start I think you'll start. You'll start joining'll eat some lyr. It's a song we've done before. It's all about what the pianist here likes to eat. What did you have for lunch What did you have for lunch for today, Glenda . Today, Alex, and ahead F and chip ' selfish Haddock actually today. Yeah Yeah, Haddock and Chips the cten Aatican chips And Girken. And did you sing your little song when you read it? Of course it is. And song goes Like this T the kitchen And again. And perions. And the garden at the kitchen. I back Maybe soak tartar sauce. Maybe so catch Maybe a svaloy, maybe some gravy, Mbe a pickled egg, maybe a pizza, Mbe a cur result, maybe a pk pie Maybe your mind. Mbe a your mind. Maybe a mind. Maybe I your mind my my. That was such a good drop. Yeah. I really doubted you could do it. We could do it. Oh ye we did it. Absolutely Worth it though. That's it. For the episode and the series. Can we have some music please? Yes. We will be back, but we don't know exactly when. We've got things on, but we will be back. So if you want to dingle, we shall do something you might have to be patient. apologies. And thanks as always for your support. We couldn't do it without you. but bear in mind There may be a delay. Memore, thanks for all your messages and your listen. thanks to Joel Porter and Joe Walker for working so hard on it. Thankks to the mightighty band, abbsent Ben, Joe, Will Mark, and Jed. And thanks to our best guest ever. Bye miles and miles and miles, Sarah Mascar! Thankky Sarah, do stick around there's a bonus song As always, and we will see you at some point in the future I don't like this sort of music. For the record? L,n't you been in lifts? Yes, Yes. Scared of lift Will it end the music I feel like it's gonna win Finished Ladies and gentlemen It's that time. It's Dingletar Tingle dime. Yes. Tingle timeim. Tingle timeime. Thingle timeim Single to. Single time Get up. Frank down G Frank downown. Get them Frank up. getet up Brank down We all need to get up the front Bounds. Front Bown is the line around town Be in a dressing c ten years old probablyably gets up too early the Araian He should maybe make a video. Ride Ry He's not a big go as T aroundround America, relax, relax. I'm heading down to town past fifty Cadelags. Yes, I'm in America with cops and doughnut shops. I'm gonna buy a pizza and a drink of busizzy pop. And while I'm in America, well I'm thinking, hey, I'm gonna hit up Daniel Nelson that will make my day America America, Daniel Nelson's here America, won't you hit up for a beer Who's that be on the football pitch? It looks like Luca Modrich. say Closer Luke, please mate. it's Luke Modrich. It's Luke Modrich. I think Luca looks like Luke or maybe. Luke looks like Luca or maybe they don't look the same. It's just that they got quite similar name. We call him Mod M glorious M. He's got a job. job, mysterious job. He loves his p C He loves his pws. So happy Christmas to my Mason. I don't click that it's too lason. Happy Christmas Luke M Gason. From Nathan Finch. I don't know how And I don't know what's allowed. But this is why I've got some info about Garth what from Nots Gareth, what? from Kots He's a man with a plan. He's a bookish forest fan. He's about a podcast of his own and he writes articles for the Left Lion gar of what from not. Gareth Watts from Kns I went on a wonderful journey and though I did get cararsic, that didn't matter a job to me ' I got to the Lido with Ricelip. Such beautiful people near the Lido, S interesting people as well. They do cycling and hiking and making nice costumes some of which they sell. If you go to Ricelip, Leido and Iree that you all one day will. Look out for the best cycling hiker who isn't calledool Lucy or Jill or Carol or Jimy or Pip No. This one's name is the best up. She isn't called Susan or penny, her name Esther Yep Y! H C you bee superheroes. Her next ro will be size tiny, Maby, H min is your c. Very po Gs cook Esla is ha a baby Good luck with the cycling and hiking and having an excellent birth from us and mainly from Shahim who paid for this song with his purse His little purple purse I now have the honor of thanking these people for donating five dollars Trina Ois G Bolder andwong. That's it Yes, that is it, but If you want to give us five dollars in the future, you may. you can. You don't have to, but we will be grateful. And we will include you in a future five dollar hollow like this. We're off air for a little bit now. We're not sure when we'll be back. I should say I hope everyone is well. Obviously difficult times at the moment, we're hoping to put some podcasts out for you from isolation. We might do them independently and somehow link them together remotely. We don't know. We'll do a bit We'd like to keep you amused in the meantime. So do get in touch if you've got anything you want us to talk about We love hearing from you and we've really appreciated this series, your support, your ideas. money obviously but that's' a small thing. I mean, it's nice. I should say also if you are donating to us, do cancel because I think Patreon take it out of your account monthly