Lockdown Poem and Binman Wisdom

ACAS powers the world's best podcasts Here's a show that we recommend Hello, hello, it's Brooke Devard from Naked Beauty. Join me each week for unfiltered discussion about beauty trends, self care journeys, wellness tips, and the products we absolutely love and cannot get enough of. If you are a skincare obsessive and you spend twenty plus minutes on your skincare routine, this podcast is for you. Or if you're a newbie at the beginning of your skincare journey, you'll love this podcast as well because we go so much deeper than beauty. I talk to incredible and inspiring people from across industries about their relationship with beauty. You'll also hear from skincare experts. We break down lots of myths in the beauty industry. If this sounds like your thing, search for Naked Beauty on your podcast app and listen along. I hope you'll join us Oh piction. Gestar section podcast Hey guys, it's the Horn Sction podcast coming to you in isolation across the nation from us in hibernation for the whole duration until the cessation of the situation What We hope this finds you well and that it'll distract you for a full forty minutes. which is About nero point two percent of your fortnite. So now you'll just have to work out what to do with the other ninety nine point eight percent of your forortnite. Maybe have a lie down or a stand up. There's loads you can do. Hi guys, everyone allright Yes We just discovered last week there's a slight delay in the system, which we will now demonstrate by counting to ten at the same time Everyone ready? Y. Fllow me. I'll count I'll count you in. A one, two, three, four, one, two three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten ten. So here look here I am In a room with a blue sofa and an orange sofa, neither of which we needed, but my wife said we had to get them. and I quite like them now. What about the rest of the band Well, We're going to have one instrument playing in the background. Market to you, first of all, please. Okay playing. We've got your guitar there ope I can get one Please Hey, I've got a new guitar today Yeah P guitar. Is this a jo Did you go out and buy it? Yeah, lovely brows I went off for brows early. A window shopping All right, so let's just markark underneath this and I want each of you to tell me about something in your house. that your partner got and that you don't like Okay If we go Pillip. Tell us about something in your house that your partner bought and you don't like. kind of a chair But it's also got like a drawer, a chair. attached to it Awesome Let's keep going Tell us about the chair, will it Well, it's greay and it's got like a seat and then like to one side where you're sitting Tableop bit and the drawer in it You don't you don't like it Okay, An space for it Sounds like a us go desesk Yeah sounds awful exxcept the table bits on your side rather than in front of you Horrible sherbish. What about you, the perfect beemist I Anything in your house that you don't like that you' part a bought Oh boy Well mate someome of yourind, but answer to a different question. Well, maybe say that should we get over it say that Yeah, what are you pointing out? You' light? Is it a lamp? Yes, it' a little lamp You't like it. shape of a squch cat Okayid. How about you, Ben. Um I T bag sheet, G I bought two bags ofaily babies y otherday and I don't like have sweetsving sweets in the house because I can't stop eating them all. And so to stop me eating them, she hid them, but then I found them. And then she decided the only way was to put them in a Tupperware box and write how many of each colour was was in there on top of the box And so but I found I could actually use like a a sort of a screr and take the numbers off and pose the numbers Best bestest answer so far. Mark, what about you? Isolation going well for Ben there. We've got load of coffee machines that never ever get used How many slides? Great That's a thing was considering none of them are used. I put them all outside but they've been taken away Okay, these lightides. Finally, the trumpeter, what's the worst thing that your partner for for the house The kitchen Okay, great stuff stop playing competition What do you mean? The podcast knowow that little bit because you said Yes. Is a pri Yes, spend one fifteen pounds Oh hang on. I'm gonna buy some ts. You didn't warn us that it was a competition. I'm not always going to warn you it's a competition Grow up well, lives comp. On the count of four, please tell me your age and the part of your body you're most proud of. A one, two, three, four. forty one the arm. So guys, you've all contributed Oh. No only did you go Ben won another twenty pounds. goodood one for Ben this week. So guys, you've all contributed something again this week, so nice one, dudes. Are you pleased with your contributions So so Yes, so so Well just try and say the words or vice versa during this episode. There's like a little catchphrase every nowight. Okay Wh's say you're going say are you will? What the Anyone Anone can or vice versa Yeah, lovely. Okay, we'll all say them We're going to start with Joe the funny little trumpeter. Hey Joe how have you been or vice versa You've got you've got some little children or vice versa Has it been nice spending Has it been nice spending a lot of time with with the children though Yeah, mostly yeah . We spent most of yesterday afternoon In a carark The part was bit too busy. Dogging whoa. gaming. Amazing. dog. We've got a second podcast dog.ocy Joe, you sent me your contribut, It' to do with your children and I play it to my children and they really liked it because of the because of the content. Should we play it in now Yes please Pillip You're ruining the pcast? That's vice versa. This one is for all of you with young children who probably like me have been watching far too much kids TV recently I have a pig. And I'm a massively annoying prg. This is Daddy Pig. He's a useless fat sh. This is Mumy Pig. She's a humoress boying. My little brother, George Who's a baby that willll probably end up being as much of a k as the rest of the family. loves jumping up and down in muddy puddles. Is it a muddy puddle? or is it doct? Everyone loves jumping up and down in muddy puddles I like to imagine that they're pools of runy Dulred Daddy Pig. Look at the mess you're in It's only mad. No it's not. it's dog shit Well, dont Joe. It's just to say everyone, the dingles are back. He It's Dingle timee at the end of the episode. Thank you for your donations. It's really helping us at this moment So stay tuned for them at the end of the episode. Meanwhile, we do have a special one person guest audience this week U and let's introduce him now. ! It's Tim K Tim K. Yes, it's Tim Ky. Sayllo to Tim everyone. I came in Hello Tim. aboutand How are you coping with the Lckdown C me awesome that U No can I can ask. No no. Oh Ill have to add that to the tomorrow script when I record them Oh right, okay, yeah. Well, it's just how are you coping with the lockdown? withith the lockdown, he s A coping. Are you coping with a lockdown? theck with this lockdown business. Fine, loving it. Making the best of it? O vice versa Making a fist of it or vice versa There we go, Tim. Yeah. Do you want to reply to their reply Uh yeah, okay G got them? Yeah, fantastic. U, this I think the recording's better this time O the quality and it was so easy to set up So it's a fortnight after our last interview As much I do you get many much correspondence about it U the last one go out That's gone out, I said And this week I thought I'm going to ask you some great questions Fantastic. Why change a winning formula? that Marie L Clire asks to Alicia Kees you can ask a musician to play an instrument under this bit if you want. U okay, I'd like One of our musicians, please and I'd like Mark Brown Okay Off he goes Do you know who Alicia Keys is She's a singer How old is she forty three. S as you Is she? Do you look at Alicia Ke and think she's the same age as me Ive never looked at Allica Ke'. thirty nine. Did she sing the song about New York? Yes it She's got two children, one named after a country, one named after a band. What are a kids called? Shatter madness Okay Not far off. Right continent. Did I get it And right genre? Right continent right era So I have one more go I think you have a couple more. You're gonna to get this Okay H Okay, so I'm going to go for So we know it's Africa I know which continant Chad is in, thank you Okay, I'm going to go for South Africa Would it one be two words One word do you think? Okay How many two of them do you know? So it's not a middle name, this is just the first name So South Africa All one word. What's going to have to be, isn't it with your new rules Okay. U So South Africa. And Yazoo Okay U I'm to change So there's still nothing right yet. Okay. So still the same continent U Okay, you're quite a long way south from it Okay and I think you've also gone I don't know what Yazoo is No, okay. Okay So I'm going to go for U I'm just trying to remember the era of madness. Yeah So you sort of saying So we're just saying that s the siren should be off, please Oh yeah, sorry, one second, one second It was all g, wasn't it Thank you now now so going to go for U I'll go for Morocco Morocco. ye and H Qicker Yeah, I know I know and I ra puff p. Oh I raise it off All One second, sorry, one second B me, what are you doing should be been off the back on. Yeah. Thank you.. Okay. so You're closer with both Okay, headad slightly, I think west, but might be east and I'd go just same haircut Nowadays as Genesis. Oh, I've said the answer. I'm in erasia. Okay, okay Eurasia So it's Genesis. Yes and Angola Okay, no Good note, okay. You've got one of them, right Okay, Genesis is right, is it? Yeah? Okay And I'm not too hot on which countries are up there. Bear in mind, it is a kid's name. I know Angola sounds like Angela Oh, it is a kid's name? No, but Alicia does call her kids. Oh, okay, not Ken No, no, what I'm saying is you' got to imagine this in a scenario where you're calling up the kids Jonath Yeah. Moroc. Oh, fine. okay, fantastic. Cameroon No. No, too low is it? No, it's north yeah, much Yeah further north. But further north. Algeria. I think it might be next to Morocco. Oh, okay. Egypt. Egypt. That's it. Good is this Okay do we know why she's done that? No, not really No Okay. This time, I think you've got to try to actually guess Alicia Keys's answers, please. Okay, fantastic. T questions. I' see if you can get five right Have you embodied Alicia Yes What should every woman try at least once in her life? threeree women So this will be your mum and my mum Pregnancy No, go on a trip totally by yourself Yes, everyone. For me, that was going to the pyramid in Egypt. That's what she says Oh o Who do you follow on Twitter Jake Humphre No, you're Alicia Keys I am being E Lisia Keys Okay, we've got she's named four people Okay, three Uh, JayZ Closer Hary Cinton's a.ary J. Okay. What? Hillary Clinton? Very close John Finnamore Last one look for a JK? There's a JK a JF and you were close with Hitary Cinton, but if you combine Tw are the guests here you'll get Hillary Clinton It would Who would you have to combine to get Hillary Clinton Well, Bill Clintson, Barack Obama And u Uh hang on a minute, one second. I don't think you're going to get it No. O Opal Winfy But you' got the JK and the JF still possible Okay So the JF, I'm going to go for James Franco. Okay And the JK I'll go for Jonathan King. Jimmy Kimel or Jimmy Fallon A there we go. What's on your bucket list U I would like to I really want to sorry, I really want to star in experience experience the life of a Hollywood India I'd like to go to India. So not out of three. what are the last three items on your credit card statement Okay. shhoes A juicer So you might get some of these Are either of those right? No Jesus is not far off Oh, okay. U Like a composter, Vitamins. also brought a big wheel tricycle for Egypt, and that's where it gets confusing, because shes She's just said that she went to the pyramid in Egypt And now she's bought a big wheel triccle for Egypt and also should pay for his school applications. Who are your heroes Chat D Okay, remember you are you are release your keys Aishia Kase Three heroes. Three heroes are D be it them Marily Monroe, except for the middle one You hart, Melily, right? U Mad dononna. Oh, I give me that Mummy My mother. right, Yeah, my m Yes. McNoe McNonoe Joh McN Maya Angelo and Maya Angelo. grandmother. Who's on the guest list for your ideal dinner party? Oh are you saying that My grandmother begins with them. No, I said one of them doesn't Ideal dinner party, please Alicia. One, two, three, four, five, maybe six Bob Hoskins Not bad Um Ken Bruce Um Anie Lenox. Pronouncing it again h the same way. placelease I've Annie Lennox. And how do you pronounce the box's name L Lenox Lewis. Y Ill love him as well. Lennox Lewis Can they be living or dead? These are all living actually. Okay Um, hang on a minute. Yagen Klop. H and U O second are you trying to gle it No, I'm not googling it no, no, no, no. I just thought of someone who it wouldn't be because it was for my life.. Was it inappropriate U I would be very surprised if she went for it U Beyonce. Bono Cheryl Sandberg, Michellel Obama Tina Feay and I wouldn't mind Chris Rock, deffinitely my husband. What's your greatest indulgence? I love I can't get enough. Oh yeah I cannot Get enough of chocolate. Massages. Massages. Yeah. What's the best gift you've ever received I think it's a bad answer Um Okay, sove they've given the answer in four words that are two sentences No gifts just love My son, he's three What's one thing people would be surprised to know about you, Alicia Keys metal. Spine Here People don't expect me to be as funny as I am Oh, she's funny.ery funny Well, funni than youd expect her to be It doesn't say how funny that is Well I expect it to be quite funny actually Well maybe she's less funny than you think What' she put that? No, just says people don't expect me to be as funny as I am Last question, what is one thing you wish you knew when you were younger? What is one thing you wish you knew when you were younger? I wish I wish I'd known it would turn out allright I knew how fast time goes by so I could take more pictures and remember the moment Wellld doneim Hey, what are you readgging I'm readingdict addicted I think it's cool. Tony Adams is orutobography I thought you were going to do jke about dictionary Is it good I've only read the first two chapters I'm reading Peter Crrouch's autography, and I haven't I've read all but the last chapter Oh, okay. Are you enjoying it? Yeah. I think they're quite different Well, in the first chapter of my one, he goes on a bender Crash goes on the bend with a film star Oh does he? Does he say who the film star is? Yes But can you tell me who it is? No, I can't remember OkayK, we're going to go back to the band now Okay. So that was Tim Key, more from Tim Key soon, but let's turn our attention to the man with a body I'd most like to snuggle up with if it was very cold. It's a saxophonist, Mark Brown. Hello, Mark That hell, Alex How's that cuddly body of yours Yeah, really good I miss it want me tond you a picture of it You can't miss it Pop it on the extra m Puppet It's a good one You're quite naturally tanned I am, I've got olive sk Mm And gentle smattering of hairs mattering Yeah, you've got a sort of a layer of hair of hair ye Yeah. I've got a layer of hair, yeah. Yeah, the l sort of It looks quite sturdy, but it does jiggle about Sometimes. S bit. Have you been doing any exercise routines No because I did my I did my knee in Okay, let's do that Mark I twisted my kn to try to do some exercise so that I haven't been able to do any for ten days I've been doing late night boxing with my virtual reality headset and then I've been having bad dreams Oh What's your contribution to the podcast, Mark the manifesto, I think Yes, you've done a gentle reworking of the manifesto tunes requested by. withith isolation lyrics. Yes, this is requested by Chica, one of our most devoted listeners. Yes. Yes. Here it is op people even people Sit dud y to life Ss of breom It should be followed carefully and taught in all homeomchool Saside, makeake sufficient chips. Watch TV, that's fine with me. justust don't miss an eclipse Sometimes you should phone a friend when you're very drunk Fully with your kids, do spot with a huk. It's a man a festal. This is how to be. Eat your lunch out fresco. Lur to referee. It's a man a festal. This is how to be your son and nesto don't need to water ski usting bubble rut can be more fun than fireworks. Remember even dinner jobs How that pgs Sausages are wonderful. Eat them all the time. Pone your mum right to your dad. Don't resort to cime. Learn the names of trees and birds, Revel in nature's glamour. Paint the walls or fix the drawers buy a massive hammer us all day long, paint your favourite flower, drink a glass of wine when you are standing in the shower. It's a manif festal. This is how to be. Have a little restal. Call it NZ. It's a man And a festal. This is how to be. Try to do your bestest. Keep drinking lots of tea E breakfast pretretend your bath's aake. But if you're not quite in the mood, give yourself a break. Separate your cutdlerie in the dishwasher tray and mainly just don't worry try to have fun and seize the day. It's a m manifesto This is how to be try your. bestesto sing along with me. It's a mesto. This is how to be. Try your very bestesto and sing along with me This is how to be how to be driry over passing bye the festal. I like that, Thankk you Mark. Well catchy Ch you. Rub But I' much more excited about the Pianist contribution.cause hees. He's cheeky and enigmatic. Hello, mate. Hi everyone Hello, Edigmatic He well. So introduce yourself to the listener Oh hi guys. What's your name? Hi guy. Hi guys, What's your name? It It's pianist. And what have you been doing for the past fortnight pianist I thought I've been working on A number of quizzes And what's the number? To twone quiz and I've got another quiz. That's right. He's been coming up with great content for the podcast. So I'm ready for your game now. Do you want to take over from here? Yes, please. Okay, here we go. Right then guys, here we go Ineen fifties quiz Th f. Th things thing to you. What's the thing when I play you? It into your ears when I play you. bring you to tears whenever I playay you all I wantna loone It' once thehead F two. There we are guys. Aazing. What's up? So we've got five questions for you all. I'd like you all to buzz in as per. It gets progressively more difficult so the points go up per question. So you've still got a chance even if you haven't got any points towards the end. I don't give up and there might be deepending on I'm feeling some bonus points available. How are you feeling it Ill let you know. Yeah. Right then. so Joe, let's roll with question number one Yes will Is it Red Dwarf? It is Red Dwarf. That's one point to Will A Sound do Jry, thanks. C clarification here, Ed. So you good questions. You've hidden that in a Beyonce song, is that right? And in a different style of music. Shakira, that's correct. Y. So I should have said there'd be some misleading. Misleading themes. Oh, there's no question first there. The quest The question is what is the TV theme tune? So I got it Have we only had one so far? Yes ye. I'm sure what was the next? So so guys, listen up, here's your bonus. What's the What was the beginning Shagia factor X files. Oh I thought you said. Alex gets half a point for the bonus. Thank you, Ed. It was Shakira, hips don't lie Okay, then the next one, there's no bonus. so it's just straight out straight out question. This is for one point as well What's the question? What is the theme Great. What's the TV theme tune en. Ducktails. Correct for one point. Well done, Mren Okay then, so number three Morse. No, keep rolling ualty That's correct, Mark for two points. Well done. Weout extra half a point. Which composer was that written in the style of J see Chan is correct, Will for half a point. Borereg Okay, then on to number four. This is better than Chopin though, muchuch better. You're better than Chopin Thanks guys. on to number four. this is What's the theme tune Wh sure So a bonus in this one Whatain? Yeah M answer No, hter? Will No I was just playing along, sorry. No I want to get one right Yeah, it's hard didnn't it D J That boy What is it? It's just getting good. right, I'll give you a clue. First one in Oh well.'s give us a second. It's back here.'s. Okay, here's a clue. First want to buzz in. It's about a family Darling Buds of M. H in the U. S Probably, I don't know, a hundred years ago It's not a little out on the prairie Well Family guy No. Okay, we're moving on. Joke Joeoally Chose Sullivans Australia. Mk I can't think of it. Okay Moving on. What is is it not tell?ot tell us? my game. Rightven' No, it's the Waltons everyone. It's the Waltons. How did that go? Oh the Waltons. Oh the Walton. Walton. Here we go ono our last last question with a hat isn't it? Anyone can still take it. The scores on the doors, Joe currently waiting to score. Will's got one and a half. Ben's got one, Mark's got two, Alex has got half a point. This last question is for three points This is for three points. Anyone can win it. Let's go Joe Where's that? Challenge Aa Alex. Tvel J is correct. Ridiculous. B again again I Bonus bonus point C then Do anyone know what song has ten ones? Blackbird. Blackbird by the or Is it whoo's that guy Brad Mldaow or something Oh, good guess. well The art of the trio 's what the volume Ild them the answers. I've been listening to a lot of Brad Meldown. What are you not? looking I sm a rat. That's correct, Alex. Well done. So Alex wins with fifteen and a half points There we are That was I themed the themed. Congratulations. They work well, didn't it? Th that Yeah We've been meeting up. We've been meeting up Thank you, Ed. Well, let's go back to Tim for a bit. Oh back to Tim Key now. Hello Tim. still there.ood thans Yeahah. Hello back. I've got a question for you now Okay.Q question for you now, Tim, this is from last week's guest Did you always want to be an impressionist Yeah, yeah Now I'd like you to ask some questions to the band, please OkayK, instead of the other way aroundound, so the first question is to Ben Reynolds Okay, u Have you've done anything constructive in lockdown Yes, I've made a bench. But the pianist Do you like things like pair drops? One or two, but that's enough. Otherwise it hurts yourongue doesn't it? Joe Auckland Um Joe Auckland.an we come back to Joe Yes, you can M Brown U Have you ever put anything funny on your face? What are you thinking? Jam or something Uh yeah Was it jam Pasta will What's the most ashamed you've been I think during a sex education class at school, ons The correct answer to one of the questions was Tamp on Brillo pad . Okay And then Joe Wlkened You ever touched a toad Well, definitely a frog. I'm not sure about toad. I think so. Yeah. Do you mean a toad I did last s foronight No, I don't know. Yes, I think so. yeah. And do you want me to ask him what it was like if he has Um I'd like I'd like to ask him when it happened I think it's Frog I can't think of a toe, I can't think of occion where it's definitely a cancer. You can say no if it's no. Yeah, right now, yeah Good stuff Hey, our technical wizard Joe Walker came up with a good idea. Hello Joe Hello It was sort of a musical version of consequences where one person would write a bit of a song and send the last two lines to the next musician and that person would write another bit and send the last two lines to the next musician and so on And we've done that I started it. Willip ended it and none of us have heard it yet. We've all just heard the previous two lines, the last two lines of the previous musician Do you all do you all want to hear it No I am fucking buzzing right now Guinely Okay, so the order it was alphabetical order. it went Alex Ben the pianist Joe Mark Willip. or vice versa is I am an ancient man and I come from somewhere north And from my mouth From the north my story shall p forth So Please now hear my tale It's strange but true and sp ke. One night I was alone In a sumry. I found the grave, the inscriptions were hidden. beath the moss and the ivy I pulled and I read I saw four lines from a part longo knew it was bed. It said he was dead Here lies Frank, loving husband, some father. I swept the moss away to see the next line on the stone Ten years have passed since his accident with O. His brain's hot but he should be warming the throne On that fateful day It's hard to say Just what went on went so terribble How a trip to south End had such a fery ear? If you go to Southendnd Airport They've got flights to nearly everywhere You could even cut your hair short Be there's a barber there. He's called Ken, Ken from South A Ken. Everybody loves Ken. Body doesn't love them Ken loves fisherman's friends. They're his favorite sweetie. That isn't all that Ken loves en loves skittles and jus and sometimes black jacks, but his joy is tempered by the ruddy cutbag. He screes, you made me do it. As he so the carpet He began to whisper softly. With the what for sausages must be down the drain, the boys will forgive you when you kill again Well, that's better than I thought it was going to be. Yeah. we got to call back to the plane. And the I think Ken was the man in the first line as well, the man from the North Yeah incredible. Yeah All tied together bestest song we've ever written guys. I can't wait to it live. Well, I know one thing I've really enjoyed about the lockdown, and that's being sent funny videos on WhatsApp every ten minutes by everyone I've ever met. me too, having to leleak them from your phone So Willip, how about you play a bass groove And we can all describe our favourite videos that we've been sent. So I'll go first, a little base grove, please. do they have to be funny Yes. They are all funny Okay, I've got one with a man clapping outside his house. He's looking quite proud, he's quite emotional, he's wearing shorts and a t shirt. He's on the porch of his terraced house. We all think he's applauding the NHS workers, which was a lovely moment. Then the camera pans aroundound, there's no one else clapping, but there is a large lorry and the lorry has writing on the side andness says bargain booze And the bargain booze Lwry is delivering bargain booze to the Bargain booze shop on the street And the camera pounds back to the man and he's actually applauding the bargain booze driver and giving him the thumbs up and saying thans, Mate and nodding That was from my brother in law. Okay, Ben, do you want to describe your favorite Whatspp video Yeah, it was basically one my mum posted our family WhatsApp, not very appropriate. It was an advert for a thing called a jog strap Not jog strap, a jog strap. basically two American joggers that meet in a park and one of them wants somewhere to store his water bottle and the other says, mayaybe you want to borrow my jog strap. And it's like pch that fits around your waist and your bottle hangs down where your willillie would be. And so than button there drg strap. And than you, Leslie. Hey, what about you, Mark Brown Well, yeah I've got to. I'm going to go for the one where the guy had run out of toilet paper so washed his asshole outside of his house with his with his house by Vill's Garden And who saident you that one? Felix Wintle Okay, isn't that one? It's pretty it's a good one Pish, have you been sent any videos I've got a video here It's a vame A cowboy walking down the road on his horse. And he stops to ask her a man on the time And the man on the bank lifts up the testicles of the horse that stood next to him Oh ye, I saw that one tells him the time. And he says, How did you know by lifting up the testicles of Your horse camera pans to show that beyond the testicles of the horse is the town clock that he's looking at when he looks at up the testicle. And who sent you that one James Holdouseight? Joealtland. We're not going to come to you, Well at Joalkland last The A really nice pair of legs painted toenails and that and then when you click on the photo and it gets a bit bigger and there's a massive penis. Wh said you that who said you that joke? Dave Auckland, Dave Auckland, your brother. Okay, Aril. April Falls Thanks everyone. Hey Tim. you have you been sent Hey Alex? haveave you sorry, Hey Tim. Have you been sent any funny videos on WhatsApp? Yeah, I have actually. Would you like to describe your favourite one to me in detail, please, and we can put some music under this Just a nice description just so that the viewers can Join in the fun. The listeners, I suppose C cut this b out, can you? Yeah. Yeahah, anything or we can make it longer Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah I don from this bit. Oh yeah, okay, I got to sent this one I'll play it and then I can sort of say what's happening, yeah Yeah. Oh, if you won, yeah Thiss fork guys. I don't know where they're from And now he's in the garden one of them He's cracked open a beer He's now poured seven eggs into a into a flask Now he's thrown his shades off And now he's got three other drinks and he's just lit one with a You know, it' sort of One of those things that you grill of grapefruit with. and now he's lighting his cigarette off the top of that and now he's pouring that into the eggs Then he's pouring a wine in and then a red wine and cracked another eggs. I think it' eight eggs And then he's downing pint of beer And now he's going to drink this vase of E eggs and four other drinks, I think And on his sweatshirt, it says, love, love, love, love, love That's the end of the video U and yeah, he throws the vars over his head and does a thumbs up down the camera Great who sent you that one I don't know It should say at the top of the message. No, I can only find the one where I've sent it to someone else. you found it from someone. Right Yeah. And who did you send it to sent it to John Kearns And how did he enjoy it. Let me just see H wrote Oh yeah, he wrote back saying everyone's going to get trollied A clue what I've enjoyed and that's when we were on Zoom with some of our friends. Yeah, not last night but the previous time Oh h on guys should be off But you enjoy it last night, didn't you? enjoyed it all last night. Yeah Yeah last night. But on the first time it was my first Zoom social P peopleople don't know about Zoom There's a setting where whoever's talking is the main one on the screen which means that if you make a noise, the camera cuts to you And you were talking, but then someone did a fart and the camera cut to Brino. we all knew it was Brino that did the fart. Yeah, it's good for that, isn't it Well you can smoke people out using Zoo. Most people were sitting down. What was Brina doing Well, we couldn't work it out, but he was maybe leaning against the wall with his head. Do send in suggestions for things you want us to do in this podcast. manyany of you have and one of the things that quite a few of you asked for weirdly was a version of a song called Boom. Podcast powers the world's best podcasts H's a show that we recommend. If you've ever dreamed of quitting your job to take your side hustle full time, listen up. This is Nikla Matthews Aomee, host of Side Hustle Pro, a podcast that helps you build and grow from passion project to profitable business. Every week, you'll hear from guests just like you who wanted to start a business on the side. If If you can't run a side hustle, you can't run a business. They share real tips. And so I started connecting with all these people on LinkedIn and I saw Target supplier diversity was having office hours. Real advice. Procrastination is the easiest form of resistance and the actual strategies they use to turn their side hustle into their main hustle. Getting back in touch with your tangible cash and sitting down and learning to give your money a job like it changes something. Check out S Hustle Pro every week on your favorite podcast app and YouTube ACast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere Acast. com This ad is sponsored by ZakDoc. Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start? I find that's especially true when you move. It's hard to find your people. I've been there, which is why I use ZockDoc Now as a busy podcast or parent and someone who's always juggling a million things, I love anything that makes life easier. And ZockDoc lets you search and compare local in network doctors with over two hundred fifty thousand providers across more than. two hundred specialties. You can read reviews from real patients, find a provider who feels like the right fit, see actual appointment openings, and book instantly I recently had a last minan and health issue pop up and needed to see someone fast and instead of calling around or sitting on hold, I found a doctor on ZockDoc and booked an appointment in just a few minutes. It made the whole process so much less stressful Taking care of your health just got easier. downownload the Zak Doc Today, that's ZakDoc ZOC DOC and book that appointment on your to do list B O UM by Charl Pine At Hilt, Jane and several others asked for this Do look up the original. It's very appropriate for the time. It's from the nineteen thirties A lot of Trenay's work represented escapism at a time dominated by political unrest and economic uncertainty So similar to now and here is my version marked the music and I'm singing a Google translation of the French lyrics This is boom My little cuck go tick tick tick tick. The birds of the leg go pig p, pick pick gloo gloo glue go all the turkeys and the beautiful bell go ding doning ding, but boom. When a heart goes boom Everything with it goes boom and it is the love that is awakened Boom It sings love in ple Add the rhythm of this boom that again says boom to the ear Everything has changed since yesterday and the street has eyes that look at the windows. There is lilac and there are outstretched arms on the sea. The sun will come out. the wind in the woods goes, Boo boo the te, the dough at the buggkingings goes M. The broken dishes go crick, crack, quick, crick and the wet feet go flick flick, flick flick. Boo The luminary of the day goes boom. Everything withard says boom when a heart goes boom. Boom, boom sung Alex Horn I wonder how Tim's getting on Fine, thanks. Okay. Do you want to play our name game Pl this video Yes please Yeah, that's yes please And we've played this before Okay This is where we both Write down names and then we see if we written down the same name. Oh yeah, okay, great Do you want the music under this? Yes, please here Anything in particular Yes, please, Arabian can actually should have started now All right I'm now writing down my name Yes, so am I okay Okay, I've written mine. I'm not there yet. Okay. I don't think it will be the same, wouldn't A you know. Well me? I've written mine anyway o Mine is Pat It's Pat Toffee. Oh Okay, it's not a million miles away actually. Mine's Robert Sticky Rub sticky and packed coffee What about Rosest we've ever got. Rber sticky Okay. Are we doing another one? Yeah, we'll do ten, I think. Okay. And just to how many points we get ten Yeah. Do you want to go first this time I don't think you got this one I've got Hogis Ababa. I got for Mrs. M. House M is them house? Yeah next one? not give me a note for each of these are worth Okay. I think mine is getable. mine is as well Ken Slatt Okay my Steph ward. That's frustrating know, I gave you a big I gave you a big chance that. Okay, next one Given you a chance, but I don't know give me a chance No Yeah you need to thought you need to start thinking about giving me a chance The first half is getable. What what have you got I've got Richard and Christina Evans What have you got Fraser O Island? Yeah okay, well, you didn't give me a chance. Okay, this is the fifth one now ready Okay, okay, I've got it What do you got Murdoxing? S I NG H I've got Roland Oh Ireland. I thought maybe an o island might be kid frustrating for left Okay, Okay. Yeah, okay. good. You go first Jasper Crunchyards Tome person Yeah, good, very good Yeah, okay What's the scope was no, no, no You there Um Yeah, I think I am actually. yeah I've got Nelly Perini I've got Barbara Dell. So that's no point is it No it's no points for that one was this the last one? An ultimate one Uhu Is yours sessable Yes Stephven Siing I've got the right honourable Gavin Fayade Okay, so last one. Okay. Are we Are we really going for it? tryrying to get it? Okay, I'm going to make mine particularly. Okay ye, I think mine's guessing I think Okay Now I' to change the surname Oh okay Yeah, Mine doesn't got a soon So worth giving us a sururny Oh yeah, okay. Have you's got a title No, not really. mine's not guessable, I don't think, I'm gonna to give him a surname. him Yeah. Okay. Okay Well, this is more clothing than we've ever had before I think you've got littleittle Luke Corn No, I haven't. I've got I've got the condom man Wilson Zero Yeah, zero. Oh well Fun when you look at those notes,n't it? Yeah, there's a note for each of them. I should have done them all on the same note anything Okay, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. What was it definitely ten Toy Mr in House. Ken quite for? Yes, Ten Rt Sticky, Hoggathabberbur, Steff Ward, Richon Christa Evans I've got nine, but maybe on one of the notes I did two on one note. Yeah, it't matter Guys Songs backwards of game are play to wantce who O please me? Yes or vice versa. Who wants to play a game of backward songs guys It's a simple gu yes en Ben's going to play a little rhythm. I sing the words a song, but starting the end of the song and you buzz in when you know what the song is Good idea I don't H we go. One, two, three, four, O. You love always, I'll, always I'll, you love my darling. You you A Markrown I will always love you. Correct by Winney Houston Jy Park. Al my dad calls it. I will always love Hu Okay, nextext one A u no Baby, it shake. it shake it, shake. Well now baby, it shake Shake it, shake. Well now, baby, it shake it. Shake it, shake it! Yes, Mark Brown. Hey y'all by outcast. No, it does sound like that, but it's not that. Keep going ben Mine, you're that know me let. And now close a little A twist and on cub Fine suggest. Yes it. Tisted the twist by the Matles. Twist and. Twisted shout by the Beatles. Mark Brown gets it. Yes.gust That's disgusting. Shout and twist Sly Yeah, a good point, Joud. Number three Again, spout, W, the went sppider. Winy In Winy Spider Yes, it's a Winy sppider, song all about the hard midfielder Pullins. Two more Let's see Tenti's strider Three For charge to have I, but you teach, can I Yours then better, it's right, Damn Yours then better. It's like there and Yard the two boys the all brrings milkshake. My charge to have a milkshake C Mark Brown. Yes it is Mark Brown. Fore now to Mark Brown. I was about two seconds before him. Yes, he should have been after him And the last one Kila. Tina aroundound. Teila. It is Tequila byy the champps. So Markwin's five Neil, neil, neil neil. Yeah the last one was really easy, wouldn't it Anyone anyyone want to guess the age of that song Tquila eighty years old sixixty two, the same age as Michael Jackson, Gloria Estefan, Ellen Deeneres, Madonna, Prince, Kevin Bacon and Michelle Peiffer two of those are dead Yes, and one of them was not sixty two, one of them sixty three Gloria Estterfan. I run out of sixty two year old. It's time for another song now. This one from Ben Reynolds Ben, tell us about your inspiration and your process I don't really want to spoil the song, so I'm not going to do that. Cool, ma'am. How many times did you send me of it before you were happy with it Three Yeah Lojob Now might put one back O two Come up What O b two. You gotta tell me So Question ben is so strong I've really got to find out We gotta give the truth too. have to shout. How do you like your camel? What Wh no to How do you like your camel One more for One for two, one l for two How do you like your c Yeah, very good. Yeah I like my cel camel mile mild Well done, Ben, you've won another ten pounds. Oh call for Ben this week. But now it's time for a poem from the poet Tim Kee. Okay, this is a poem. about the u The lockdown Hello? Yes, hello. Hello This is a poem about the lockdown. Yes or no Kiston got a Potter's wheel delivered He bowed deeply to the courier and started the thorny issue of lugging it up the old stairs He now had a loom, a baby grand piano A pizza oven, a chin up bar, a dark room, watercolourors, a beehive, ice hockey shoes, a Spanish teacher, a tree house kit and now this one hundred and twenty kilo potters wheel He jammed it between the piano and his beer making drum Now at least he had some options fired up, come dine with me began to consider them What do you think about that U Voiceices is a bit husky C which is distracting, or I don't know if there's an element of it because hint of the virus It's a virus. Hm And I suppose what you say is c Quite a sensible poem Do you give your, um, do you give your episodes A title of your podcast. Yes Hints of the virus? No, it'll be episode two. Oh Oh very good. Yeah All right Allright then so Kist them won't get round to any of them, is that the Oh I think it might be no I don't think that is quite it. Okay It might Well it might be. Yeah. it's more just, you know just throw money at the problem and Yeah, taking on taking on more than you than you're realistically going to achieve Yeah so I said you don' think's going get around to any of them I don't think to learn Span let me see, I don't think you learn Spanish What's the most achievable do you think I don't think'll do the loom O did you write didid you take notes? No no Okay. Listening Okay Oh, nature's notes. Potter's wheel of course, but you need stuff for that Um, clay H. than a kil Oh yeah Peter Ovven I think he was used the pizza oven. You' got a good memory, Do you remember all the others? Okay Okay then. Thankk you for the p. Oh sorry yeah. okay then Well, that was great. But when do I put my bins out? Well it's time now to hear the word Well, thereybin's collected every other Monday, the food bins collected on the same Monday, the black bins collected on the Mondays in between. Hear the word of the Binman. The Greymenss and the blluebins on the same day as the Backbins, no bins collected Tuesday Wednesday Thday Friday, noobin's collected at the weekends. Hear the word of the Binman I mean, that's a lot more interesting than I would have expected. It's. Who's going whoo wants to take on the word next time Yeah. Yeahep, Mark Brown next time. He South London Bins barely contain his entus. Well tune in a fortnight's time to find out when when Mark's twinmen come. Do we use Joe's music, do he? Yeah, he will send you the music and then you to sing along. I was going to do it on Monday, Tuesday to bring Black back You You can bring your own music to the party. No, I can't because I don't know how to do that But it is time for my new joke a drum roll? Is it a jingle for this? It was a drum roll last time, but there could be a jingle if you want. Oh ye it's massive build upp, I think,? It is Yeah, that's going to be good we all happy Mark. I was very happy with that. I'm happppy. I can play on the wrong key, but they can turn it off. Yes. That's why I'm happy.'s catch phrase. I' very happy with my take. That was perfect Y Okay jo said he' played the wrong key Okay, the joke is A massive mole has dug up all the grass from our garden. My wife is out there now investigating and she seems very sad She's looking for Lorwn Hello hello back, Tim Hello back, Alex. Okay, it's time for Hide and seek again. if I'm going to heide from you this time. Okay, great. Are you ready Yes, let's go I can hear it a movement Okay Damn ready. Oh, you are you hiding in the toilet? No Um are you hiding in the u I bit The room that comes off your kitchen, the utilities room. No U Are you hiding in the drinks like a drinks cabinet? No Are you have you gone under a duvet? Oh on Like a quite a thick duvet I' notious say I'm warmmer. I I guess was warmmer All right have you gone have you gone under the rug Now I'm under something Okay I a rg but under something else Okay, cooffee table Yes Is it coffee table? No Are you hiding under cushions No it is a table, but I't think it's just a small table. That'll be a coffee table. It's an old kitchen table, but it's quite small Okay. They will come out A Yeah very good. Very good. Okay back to the band Helloand. Right, we've heard from nearly everyone now. but we've not heard from the greatest of all the musicians. Willip, here's one of many quotes from Twitter about you Willip I just can't get over how good your songs on the Horn section podcast are. Are they funny? Ish. Do they absolutely bang? Yes Ish That's pretty appropriate for this offering Ojects will not move That's Newton's three last room That's of course. for some external force, external force except for some external force, external force This also also blles. As Newton's laws is advised T a body in motion. It doesn't take a b funion. It takes an external force to disrupted scs, to disrupted schools. It takes an external force, an external force Sounds crossive When expressed as an equation Force equals mas times acceleration, mas times acceleration force equals mass times acceleration, acceleration o For every reaction there's an equivalent opposite reaction Wellll find Drag well Homchooling right there. Yeah. if you could all join in the catchphrase, wasas it funny? Yishish. Did it absolutely bang? Yes, Yes. Well, good. I think that's the end of the podcast now, But today's episode is going to end with some beautiful piano music from the pianist Thank you for listening. Stay indoors, stay safe. Thanks to everyone who's doing stuff to help anyone. Thanks to Joe Walker for helping us and Joel Porter for helping us. Thanks to Tim Keef for being our special guest, Thanks to Trp to Joe the saxophist, the Drumber B, the bassist willill, and the pianist. Goodbye! B Ladies and gentlemen It's that time. It's Tingle timeim. Tingle timeime. Yes. Tingle timeim. Tingle timeime. Tingle timeim Single time. Single time Pve Llaorence Gass is a wonderful lad bestest in all the world. Pve Laorence Gas a remarkable lad She's a banjo girl But if she sings this song she'll have to change the she's to I'm. her becomes a meal m. The wh and mees are you But she'll know what to do And if she sings this song I think she'll feel like a dick. It's all about how great she is and that's just not her style. But it might make me smile. Eve Laorence G is a wonderful lad. I think she'll sing this song It's fun for her and it's more fun for us She's paid so it feels wrong. Leave Florence Gass is a wonderful la. What's that sound I can hear It's lo of man here. What are they doing over there Len can Sing for us. Ocean City Sound Core. The cing for us Brilliant show Thanks to Betilo Yeah If you're not feeling good, you're a little bit blue. This guy will make you feel better su He works in the theatre. He's a lighting technician. His name is Phil Patters' son. He likes bothd watching, playing piano and winning board games. He hates guys who disrupt car park flow and losing board games. Is' Phil Patterson yeah We hope you feel, hope you feel, Hope you feel, hope you feel, Hope you feel better son. F partison for partison, for partison, partison. When darkness falls, don't start to cry. Don't start to moan or wail. Don't throw yourself onto the ground, don't panic, scream or flail. Be more like Mila. She's a girl who's just turned twelve years old. She's fond of lambs and older lambs, which are cool sheep, I'm told, but mostly she She is positive, she is living her best life. She loves to go on walks to see the sheeping wild lifeife. She's having fun being n So heo Stehven, daughter If you've been down to Cape Town, you will know it's really nice. The weather is great, the food is great. It it's kind of paradise, but what makes Cape Town so great? It ain't the wine, it ain't the sun, it ain't the penguins, it ain't the beach. It is a certain someone could there's a guy who lives Whs it that Georgie By spends his cash on boos and cars. And you can guess the rest. So this is for the man who is the greatest man I see. I call him Mr suuper cool. His name is Stephen Green It's time for a fresh shout out to these heroes who've got their five dollars out Markwilder Trina O Disgo