Reflection on Justice and Family

On May 1st, 2023, I went to the federal courthouse in downtown San Francisco. My cousin Alan was on trial for hiring someone to kill his ex-wife, Priscilla . The man he hired was actually an undercover FBI agent who worked out of the San Francisco office, so the trial was in California. No way was I going to miss this. Nine months had passed since Alan was arrested in my father's backy ard. Now in the courtroom he looked like he'd aged twenty years in that time. Alan used to be fat and shiny. His bald head shone, as did his gadgets and his cars. He used to wear Kawi boots and big leather hat s. Now he was dressed in a white shirt and a grey bla zer. Defense attorneys often counseled their clients on what to wear to tri al. The plain white shirt could communicate respect for the court. The blazer was non threaten ing. But was Alan's physical transformation that struck me. He was thin, something he'd never been. He was stooped. He'd let his beard grow long and gre y. Well played, Alan, I th ought. We both grew up with stories of our very talented, very entrepreneurial, and somewhat famous great grandfat her. When he was arrested in Stalin's Russia, he grew a long gray beard to make sure he was perceived as an old man by the co urt. Grandfather, but maybe Alan thought it was worth trying in an American court. My family had learned a lot in the months since Alan was arres ted. We already knew about the time he took his son O from Russia and moved to the US without telling Priscilla, and the time he took O from the US and went to Canada, again without telling Prisc illa. Now we also knew about all the things that had happened to Priscilla during their separation, how she was evicted, beaten by harried thugs, arrested twice, held for two weeks, all of it she believed, orchestrated by Al len. Hiring a hitman, if that's what he did, was just the latest thing and the worst one The mind kept looking for a way to make what Alan did seem maybe a little less bad. Family and friends, especially those who were talking to my Aunt Lana, Alan's mother, were convinced, or hoping to be convinced, that Alan had somehow been set up. One of the men in my family told me that he'd heard that the undercover agent called Alan himself and said, I hear you have a problem. Would you like us to take care of it for you? As though a murder for hire were a wallet found on the sidewalk. If you didn't intend to steal it, maybe it wasn't a cri me. I knew what he was getting at. He thought Alan had been entrapped. But entrapment isn't much of a defense, morally speaking. I mean, wouldn't most people have said no ? My father, he never voiced a theory of the case, but he kept texting me when I was in San Francisco . Telling me what's happening he brought it. Don't make me wait for your write up. I knew that this was his way of saying please tell me something to help me believe that Alan is innocent, or at least not guilty as hell. Even Priscilla, when I spoke to her on the eve of the trial, said that she felt sorry for Al an. The prosecutors had brought her to San Francisco to testify, and yet, I sensed, she still didn't quite believe that Alan was capable of this. When I say that the mind kept looking for ways to absolve Alan, I do not mean my mind. My mind was at pe ace. In my mind, I had already tried and convicted Alan . My motivation for attending the trial was to watch the prosecution layout the case so I could bring it back to my family. So they'd finally set aside their misguided doubts and misplaced sympath ies. From Serial Productions and the New York Times, I am M. Gesson, and this is the idi ot. A jury trial is a play, put on for an audience of one dozen people. In Alan's trial, notably, all three of the lead roles, the judge, the prosecutor, and the public defender, were played by w omen. She encouraged members of the jury to use the time during breaks to get to know one another and suggested icebreak ers. Maybe that's why during the jury selection process, people were surprisingly open and detailed telling the stories of their own divorces and custody batt les. The prosecutor, Ilham Husseini, seemed angry, like she was personally affronted by the details of the cri me. Her star witness was the undercover FBI agent, the man Alan had hired to get rid of Priscilla. Alan knew him as David. So that his cover wouldn't be blown when David testified, members of the public, me and a couple of local crime reporters, had to leave the courtroom and watch a video feed from an adjoining ro om. The camera was trained on the witness box, but in such a way that we couldn't see the agent's face. By which I mean we were staring at David's crot ch. Grey pants, the edge of a striped teal tie, projected onto a large screen while the prosecution played clips of surveillance aud io. David testified that the investigation didn't start with Al an. It started with a different Russian speaker, a man named Alexei Kisil ov. Kisselov was a sometime business partner of Allen's, a schemer in and around Washington, the sort of guy who leverages tenuous connections against imagined projects, and very occasionally manages to make a bo ok. In 2019, Kisilov caught the FBI's attention. They suspected he was looking for someone to help launder billions of dollars. Those billions supposedly belonged to pro-Russian-Ukrainian politicians who had been facing sancti ons. The money may or may not have existed, and the case against him was eventually dropp ed. But for a couple of years David had been posing as someone who could facilitate such transactions. And Kiselov was talking to Dav id. Hello. Brother, how are you? It's Dave. And David was recording their conversations. He y Dave. Hi. In February 2022, just a couple of weeks after Alan got out of jail after being arrested for taking O to Canada. Russia invaded Ukraine . Kiselov floated a new business idea in his conversations with David. He wanted to get US government funding to make bulletproof vests for Ukraine. I'm uh a little bit from the Polish side. Uh uh we just crossed here, we're helping with some supplies and taking it over and uh you know, it's a it's a war.. Yeah War bombs, bulletproof vests, money laundering. But also Kisilev pivots to the subject of his friend Alan. Our Alan . Alan needs help with something . So I was kind of bugging you a little bit about that issue that actually it's a guy who works with us helping with moving stuff. He's in the US, he's in Boston and he had his ex pretty much making hell out of his l life and uh she is from Africa she got with I don't know how she took his kids um and really and and basically if anybody would look into really the reasons for her being in the US there, is none. Okay. David means this change of subject gaming. Let me let me ask you this. Um in a perfect world, right, what what would be the best case scenario that your fri end Okay. Um we do have a connection with uh somebody within I I I don't know the specific agency. I don't know if it's INS or if it's the customs immigration customs enforcement. I I I know we do have conversations David doesn't seem to know the intricacies of the U.S. immigration system. But no matter. He and Kisilov are quickly hatching a plan. A bribe will be sent to this person at INS or ICE or wherever who had arranged for the deportation. The bribe would be a hundred thousand doll ars. David testified that he came up with a price tag on the spot, figuring that's what it would cost for some imaginary highly placed government official to risk their imaginary job. The FBI now had a new angle to explore, in addition to the possible money laund ering, a potential bribery sch eme. In the courtroom, David explained that the character he was playing was a money launderer, a gangster . He was there for all your illegal need s. And now he was there for my cousin Al an. A couple of months after this conversation, Kiselov set up a meeting for David and Alan in Flor ida. This is UCE4735 and today is Thursday, June 2nd, 2022. It's approximately 1155 AM. And this is a recording with Alan Gesson. The meeting's taking place at the Boca Raton Resort in Boca Rotan, Flor ida. David had told Alan to meet him at the Boca Raton in Boca Raton. You know those places that added the to the name of the actual place to indicate that it's everything you ever imagined but so much more? This resort has 19 bars and restaurants and four beach options. The Bakurut an Alan drives up in a white rental car, an Audi sedan . The jury was shown surveillance phot os. He meets David in the lobby, which is like an Italian castle, Florida version. David is wearing a wire . Which as you're about to hear is not great for field recording. Yeah, Alan. How you doing? Dave Fist Bump. Alan is wearing what looks like a black cashmere sweater. David is dressed in all black. Polish shirt, shiny pointy black shoes. They're not dressed for Florida. Everyone around them is wearing light colors, but they're dressed to perform their roles. Alan is being international man of mystery. David is going full mafiosa. They're macho. They're gangsters . They are the Alan and the Dave at the Bo Cara Ton. Yeah, how are you? Excellent. Thanks for coming up. I appreciate it. No, 100%. Yeah, yeah. Uh it really has my picture of the longer period and the I I was like, What's going on? They take a shuttle to one of the Boko Rotan's restaurants, the Marisol, where the seating is couches in earth tones and the views beach umbrellas as far as the eye can see. On the way, Alan summarizes his very impressive career. In 2010 I started a massive diamond mining project in uh South Africa, Soto Conga, Angola, maybe it's had several more. Millions of dollars. Some misadventures, then a triumph or two later. Alan gets to the story of his marriage. But I get uh but I went to Zimbabwe once to explore some opportunities there. And uh met this incredibly beautiful woman which was the end of me Miss Priscilla listen I always say it's the bitches that'll get you this sounds like your problem yeah David testified on court that the character he was playing was crass. He seemed to have that part down. At the restaurant, it's David's turn to talk about how impressive and real he is. We have a lot of obviously business in South America, I'm sure Alex has told you. So you know, my clients are in Cartagena. They're all I'm gonna tell you right now, they're all cartel level guys, they're all badasses. They're they they they are the real deal. When I talk they don't have fuck you money, they have fuck everyone money, right? Like you're talking hundreds of millions of dollars, you know. I don't touch the product side. I don't wanna I don't wanna have any fucking do with with the fucking coke. I don't want to do anything with any of that shit. But I just do the money stuff, I set up companies, and we launder money, and that's it. And it's been great. I've been doing it for fifteen, twenty years. Having established their gangster bona fides, Alan and the undercover talk business. There are two items on the agenda. The Bulletproof Vest Factory, Alan wants to bu ild and Priscilla. Look, I I understand, you know, through Alex that you have some problems. You know, I get it. Um we have a solution for you. But I guess the question is like in a perfect world tell me what you want. Tell me what you like and there's a blank slave. Just tell me what you want. Alan says he wants Priscilla deported. He needs this for peace of mind. And no being harassed. Okay . All right. He doesn't want her to quote be able to come and harass us ever again. He then explains what he means by harass. A few months earlier, Priscilla had the nerve to tell the police that he had kidnapped O . Okay. But he had in fact been arrested for taking O across the border to Canada and spent five weeks in jail and was now awaiting trial and kidnapping charges. He tells David, Let's just say that I'm a little bit pissed off. Yeah, yeah, no, I get it. Yeah. But uh it's a woman who will be will go the length of the world to make my life miserable. But it's a woman who will go the length of the world to make my life miserable, Alan sa ys. Women, am I right? Yeah, I'm telling you, man. Uh yeah, like I said, you know, historically over time, men have made the worst decisions, you know, when it comes to women. You know, it's uh I don't know what it is. They're that aphrodisiac, you know. They it's that weakness or Achilles heel. But uh Yeah, I understand that I wish I had known you earlier, because you know a lot of that shit we could have cleaned up. You know, uh there's no doubt about that. Let's just put it this way. That would never have happened in my family . Amid oldest broy, gangstery hot air, the vaguest outlines of a plan appear. A bribe will be paid. Some government officials will pull some strings, and Priscilla will be ordered to leave the country . And it will cost $100,000 . At first, Alan seems taken aback by the price tag . Um now um I'll need to chat to Alan because uh who's going to handle the material side of things. Okay. Uh because he never mentioned me any like he didn't mean the pain side. Kisilov didn't with Alan, he explains. But he quickly recovers from the sticker shock. The price is eminently reasonable for what it's worth, you know, so there's no question that it's it's uh good investment. Right. Um logistic. A good investment. Alan's done the math. He could pay more in child support. Oh yeah, you would. Yeah, I can guarantee it. Yeah. After everything Priscilla had gone through to get to the US to see her son again, Alan was going to send her back to Zimbab we. After everything O had gone through, being separated from his mother for two and a half years, meeting her again, watching his father get arrested , going to live with his mother and a sister he barely kne w. Alan was going to yank him away from Priscilla aga in. And he was going to deprive Elle, who was three, of the only parent she had ever kno wn. All for the eminently reasonable price of $100,00 0. And we hadn't even gotten to the murder for higher plot y et. On the tape, Alan and David move on to the details of the bulletproof vest factory scheme. This part of the conversation goes a little less smoothly . Alan had it all figured out. They'd get US government funding and build a factory, and he thought David was in a position to get him that money . David though is much more interested in the bribe part. In court he testified that he went to the meeting expecting to talk about the deportation scheme, not the factory. But he is nimble. He tells Alan that he could bring in money from the Colombian drug cartels to invest in the fac tory. Remember, the FBI has been trying for years to get Kisilov and now Al an Alan says, quote, the first order of business is to get her the fuck out of here, end qu ote. To get Priscilla depor ted. Or and this is where he suddenly, offhandedly, turns the conversation into Let's listen carefully. Yeah. But intendedly if there's a cheaper way to get rid of her than it was cool. I mean, I ha listen, I have family in the in your area. Remember, David is supposed to be a mafioso. That's the kind of family he's talking about. A minute later he will refer to Friends in the North End, historically an Italian neighborhood in Boston . He's opening for Alan a door to the underworld. So I I don't know how to say this but like there is a there is a cheaper way and probably a a more permanent way to do it, but a more permanent way. In case Alan didn't understand what David was getting out. I mean that's up to you. Uh I'm previously Alan would like to proceed . Agreement to proceed with the more permanent option is a fraction of a sec ond. He doesn't take a breath, he doesn't pretend to consider the decision, he doesn't double check that he understood the agent correctly, he doesn't even ask how much money he'll save by going for the cheaper option. He jumps right in with both feet. And then it gets wor se. Alan says that he had looked into this more permanent option before, that he talked to Israelis and Eastern Europeans in Italians, and the lowest estimate he got was two hundred twenty thousand doll ars. The prosecutor stopped the tape and repeated what Alan had said. I researched my sources, the lowest price was two hundred twenty, and then that is run through the Israelis and Eastern Europe and Ital y. She asked the undercover agent what he had understood Alan to be saying. The agent answer ed My understanding was that Mr Gesson had already researched the option to kill his wife, and had been in conversation or had done some research with other organized crime syndicates, in this case Israelis or Eastern Europe, for the price of two hundred and twenty thousand doll ars The agent who had worked on murder for higher cases before testified in court that it hit us cheap. He'd seen people agree to kill someone for as little as two hundred doll ars. On the tape, David assures Alan that his friends in the North End conversation are more dependable and affordable than those other guys, the Israelis or the Eastern Europeans, and asks that they can get the job done quickly. Can I get back to the first time? Alan likes this. And he clarifies more definite. And more and more definite. Permanent . The prosecutor asked, when you heard Mr. Gesson say and more definite. What was your understanding of that? The agent answer ed. More definite is permanent. De ad . I'd seen FBI agents testify in court before. Often I've been skeptical . Their interpretations of what people say to them can be far-fetched. Their entrapment techniques are often crude and mendacious. I've seen cases where the undercover agent talks a person into a crime they had no intention of committ ing. But this was differ ent. I couldn't imagine any alternative interpretation of the tape I just he ard. Alan wanted Priscilla killed, and he wanted David to know that he wanted Priscilla k illed. He said that with the bribery scheme he was worried that Priscilla could fight her deportation in court and maybe even w in. Murder is better than deportation that way. Of course. That's that's we could we could handle that. I just didn't know what your appetite for that was. But if if you feel that way and we can make that happen it will be very clean, it'll be quick and it would be final. But you gotta tell me if like that's the route that you want to get. This is the only thing that gives Alan pause. He doesn't want the kids to see their mother getting killed. No no no. God does the please. Yeah, no, no, no. You know, we're all family men. Like this is strictly business. Okay, yeah, because like because that was my one concern that that's the that's we talk you know because then I want to make sure that like forever obviously uh make sure it's no no no no no no no this this would be would be very clean professional job . Reassured, Ellen asks about the cost. I I think it's probably half the cost, to tell you truth. Yeah. Much easier. Much easier. Okay. Okay. Very happy to proceed with it . What a productive meeting for their undercover agent. He came for bribery and was leaving with murder for h ire Now he just needed Alan to confirm that he intended to go through with it, so that when Alan eventually went to trial, he couldn't say that he was misunder stood. And now here we were, at that trial. This is the first time . The agent asks Alan if he is sure. And Alan says, I'm sure. And he adds, I'm sure. I'm sure. And this is more like the moment. No, no, no. This sounds like it's been well thought out. Listen, yeah, I I I s I I didn't want to I'm glad we have talked about it because that's honestly that's the way I would have handled it. But that's the guy you gotta be comfortable. Okay, good. All right. So then Alan says that this is not an emotional decision. Not spur of the moment. He's comfortable with it. Right, yeah. Don't fuck with me . There's a bit more back and forth. David will need pictures of Priscilla, location, everything for the people who'll do the job . And then, just like that, Alan is showing David pictures of the kids . Yeah. Gorgeous. I don't want. First August there Beautiful kids. Beautiful poodle. Beautiful life. The only problem is Priscilla. Surely after seeing these photos, David would see what a great father Alan was. Surely he would feel even better about helping Alan get rid of the fly and the oint ment. But David has a question . What is this going to do to the kids emotionally ? How do we protect the kids? Like very I guess they're too young too. They're young too, but how do we how do we protect the kids? Look, they're gonna lose their mother, right? She's fucking gone. How do we protect the kids? As long as they're not witness to violence. That's the word he used. Violence. No no no. They won't be that's Yeah, they won't be. I mean she'll be she'll be taken out without them present. And then I guess you can explain it how you explain it. But just know that, you know, like I I now that I'm seeing pictures of that, I I just want to make sure that they're okay. I got a heart too, you know, like I fucking you know don't get me wrong, I'll I'll flip the light switch when I need to, but you know, when I look at those The undercover agent is methodical. He keeps coming closer to saying she will be killed. And he keeps pushing Alan to consider the hypothetical stak es. The children will lose their mother fore ver. Alan blithely keeps incriminating hims elf. As long as the kids wouldn't see the murder happen, he didn't have other concern s. They wrap up their meeting. Alan has a plane to catch. The undercover agent has a lot to work with. This is UC 4735, and today is Thursday, June 2 nd, 202 2. And this is the conclusion of the recorded conversation with Alan Gess on. Normally, after hearing someone testify for hours, especially if the testimony was colorful, which this certainly had been, I tried to chat with the other reporters in the court room. But this time I didn't feel like doing that, because I didn't feel like explaining why come I'd all the way from New York to cover this case. I didn't feel like telling anyone that the defendant was my first co usin. The one person in the audience that I really wanted to talk to about all of this wouldn't talk to me. My Aunt Naylor, Alan's mother, was there dressed as she usually was in elegant and hip-old bla ck. I saw Alan smile warmly to her when he was brought into the courtroom, but she generally sat out of my line of sight. It had been almost a year since she'd spoken to me or my fat her. Soon after Alan was arrested, she became furious with my father for inviting Priscilla and the kids to Cape Cod for Labor Day weekend and not inviting her. She accused my father of siding with the FBI, which she thought had framed Alan. In a huff, she left the family Facebook chat. Weeks and months later, my father tried to reach out to her to offer help. He'd heard that she was struggling financially, but she rebuffed him . At the end of the first day of the trial, Lena wrote a long post on Facebook about how Alan had been framed, and even though I, a journalist, was in the courtroom, I wasn't doing anything to hel p him. She was not wr ong. In a different case, I might have spent time wondering why Kisilov hadn't shown up for this meeting with David, and why the undercover agent had seemed to think the meeting was organized to discuss Priscilla, while Alan thought they'd be talking about the bulletproof Fest Fac tory. I might have focused on how manipulative the undercover agent had been, how he kept fanning the flames of Alan's fury with his comments about women who ruined men's liv es. But Alan was just so happy to be led down this ro ad. He seemed to care about only four things speed, permanence, the price of course, and not having the children witness their mom's mur der. Three the weeks after conversation in Boca Raton, Alan and David met again, this time at a kosher steakhouse in the financial district of Manhatt an. The recording of that conversation was played in court to o. They went over logistics. David advised Alan to get out of state when the operation goes down. Later he told him to use his credit card to establish his ali bi. They discussed the price again, fifty thousand dollars, half up front, half upon compl ete Yeah, it's heavy. Yeah . But you know, I mean like that. They googled its market price. 1905. The undercover agent agreed to round up. So Alan would now need to transfer twenty-three thousand dollars for the job to get done and Again, this is serious business, right? You you open that window, you can't close it, right? So I just want to make yeah, I just want to make sure you're comfortable with it and know that it is a permanent solution, right? Be cause this is this is final and it'll be done and you can you can handle your business after that and get on with your life . Alan is good with the final solu tion. A few days after this meeting, Alan and Lena brought the children to the fourth birthday party for my brother's kid in Brookly n. The theme of the party was fro zen. It was the first time I saw Alan after he and Priscilla reached their custody agreement. And the first time I didn't feel at all conflicted about spending time with them. It was all above board now . Priscilla was on her way to New York too, to spend a few days in the city with O and L. I noticed that Alan and Nana were unusually subdued during the par ty. The party was at a playgro und. Kids ran in sprinklers and then ate frozen cake, and the birthday child changed in and out of frozen dress es. Alan and Lena, who brought their poodle, took turns sitting on a bench just outside the playground with the dog, because dogs weren't allowed inside the fence, and, Alan explained, while he was awaiting trial and the kidnapping charge, he had to be on his best behavi or. He also asked me and my brother Keith, who's also a writer, for advice on selling a memoir of his weeks in ja il. It was sitting in the courtroom, listening to the wire recordings, that I realized . By the time of that birthday party, Alan had already had his second meeting with David, the undercover agent. It had probably happened during the same trip to New York. And two weeks after that birthday party, Alan sent David a target pack age. Priscilla's address, the license plate of her car, the name and location of the man she was then seeing, with comments like When children are with ex husband, subject stays at her boyfriend's house in Cambridge. When without child ren, subject goes out of the case of the next two weeks, texting over signal, Alan and David finalized the date of the planned hit. They discussed the importance of a solid alibi. Alan would be out of town with the kids. I knew where that was. At my father's house on Cape C od. Then David texted this. One quick questi on. If there are any guests present, do you have any problem with showing them the exit? My guy said we need to plan for extra guests at the sho w. In court, the undercover agent explained what that me ant. I was asking mister Gesson if there was anybody with his ex wife at the time we were going to conduct the killing, would he have any problem with us killing that person as well? Alan respond ed, I am absolutely ambivalent to the modalities and circumstances as long as we achieve project objectives. Additional unexpected expenses are part of doing busin ess. This message would be quoted over and over again during the trial, so I'm going to repeat it to o. I am absolutely ambivalent to the modalities and circumstances as long as we achieve project objectives. Additional unexpected expenses are part of doing busin ess. By ambivalent , Alan seems to have meant indifferent. By unexpected expenses, he meant dead people. By doing business, he meant having Priscilla murdered . In between arranging the details of Priscilla's murder, Alan sent David pictures of the kids vacationing with him. After he signed off on killing extra people as necessary, Alan texted, Went sailing today, O is studying yacht ing. David responded priceless, what more can I say ? Alan that as a father you appreciate another father who car es David one hundred percent Your kids and your grandchildren will appreciate you and honor you in the way you deser ve Alan,ank th you, my brot her. Our cause is just. The prosecutor asked Any response from you to that? I couldn't say any more, the agent said. I was just stun ned. I wished I could see the agent's face, rather than his crotch. Was he really stunned? Maybe. He did seem to have a reaction whenever Alan talked about his kids. A reaction that didn't seem to be tied to the needs of the investig ation. I mean, even I was kind of stun ned. But mostly I was mad. My father texted ten minutes before the court ended for the day, asking for a rec ap. I summed up the undercover agent's testimon y. My father texted back. Thank you. I felt like I could hear that thank you. It was the kind of thank you you say when you lose hop e. I couldn't give my father anything to make him feel bet ter. No excuse or explanation or even the slightest bit of understanding for Alan's actions. Because how can you understand someone who says our cause is just about killing his children's mot her. I mean, what was there to under stand? A few more people took the stand. The police detective from Concord who investigated Alan's kidnapping case, Prisc illa. The jury heard more crazy and horrible things about Al an. Not that they needed to hear anymore. After the day of listening to the undercover recordings. It seemed crazy to think that anyone could try to defend themselves in the face of well, in the face of themselves, incriminating themselves on tape, over and over and over aga in. But Alan, Bing Alan, was going to tr y. That's after the break . Many criminal defendants don't testify at their own trials. The jury has already heard the prosecution's case, and they're thinking there is at least a good chance that the defendant is ly ing. Most people, even when they're telling the truth, struggle to sound consistent, convincing, and sympathet ic. And it's hard to keep your wits about you under cross-examin ation. So most defense attorneys advise most of their clients to leave the talking to the profession als. The public defender, Candace Mitchell, had decades of experience in public service. Mitchell was also a black woman like Prisc illa. Lucky Alan to have her addressing the jury on his be half. But this was Alan, the guy who was fired from his one and only law firm job for basically acting like he knew better than everyone el se. The guy who wrote a two-page email to a police detective trying to convince him that taking O to Canada in violation of a court order was innocuous behavi or. Guy who had never been in a room he didn't expect to win over. Of course Alan took the stand and stayed on it for a day and a half. To be sure, this was a very different Allen than I'd seen before. This was thin Allen, old Alan, stooped Alan with the long beard. The Alan I knew was the biggest presence at any family gathering, and were not exactly a group of wallflow ers. This Alan spoke so softly that even with amplification, everyone strained to hear him. Within a couple of minutes of taking the stand, Alan was cry ing. He was recalling the first months of O's li fe. O was born in Zimbabwe at twenty six we eks Alan asked for tissu es. And a few seconds later, led by his defense attorney, he was talking about money, about paying off the security guards at the hospital in Harari to bring in equipment, and, as he claimed, quote, rebuild the whole neonatal un it. He said that he installed oxygen tanks and humidifiers and changed the lighting to make it more diffused and covered the incubators and installed speakers in the incubators to place Chopin and W C. The defense seemed to be trying to show that Alan was a devoted father but also, more important, that he was used to solving his problems by bribing people. So this was Alan's defense, that he bribed his way through life, and that all he ever wanted was to bribe someone to get Priscilla deported , but not to have her killed. Only he didn't think it would cost so much m oney. Qu ote Well, my first thought was that I didn't have a hundred thousand doll ars. In fact, he had no money at all. He was in deb t. But he couldn't say this to David because he had to project suc cess. Instead, after talking about the Bulletproof Vest Factory and after coffee, Alan asked David about a cheaper way to get rid of her . What did he think that would be? his defense attorney a sked. Quote, I think it's the immigration customs enforcement who actually take people and physically remove them from the United St ates. Meaning, he thought that instead of bribing some highly placed official to deport Priscilla through the immigration court system, Alan would be bribing ICE officers to remove her from the country phys ically. This was long before just this sort of thing. What about throwing the words definite and permanent aro und? Here Alan offered a whole linguistic analys is. It was David who used the word permanent. Alan had said definite. And he said, quote, For me the word definite means something that is certain to happen, that is more likely to hap pen. Now David's response to it is permanent, which is very different from definite. Permanent is something that's irreversible . As for his concerns about not exposing children to viol ence, he meant just the grab and drag Priscilla out of the room kind of violence, not the killing kind . Alan claimed that he didn't write some of the signal messages that had been entered into evidence. But yes, he did write the I am absolutely ambivalent one. He explained that the tone of my response is kind of I'm on holiday with kids And he explained what the exchange supposedly me ant. There may be other illegal immigrants present when the raid happens, and they will be exited, meaning removed from the country. Like maybe they'd grab Priscilla's sister who was also in the US, or the Zimbabwean family she was stay ing with. So yes, he didn't want Priscilla killed, only stuffed in the trunk of a car, possibly with other people who happened to be around, and driven out of the country. And once Priscilla was eventually back in Zimbabwe, they would quote co parent internation ally. Elon Husseini, the prosecutor, seemed really angry now, outraged that Alan, a lawyer, would do everything he appeared to have done. Kidnap O, kidnap O again, and then arrange to have Priscilla killed while claiming that he wanted her only well kidnapp ed. I was right there with her. I couldn't believe Alan's Hutzpa in taking the stand, in expecting anyone to take his defense seriously. I mean I literally couldn't believe most of what he said. Neither could Miss Husse in. On cross examination, she had these kinds of exchanges with Al an. Questi on Once she was deported yesterday you said you planned to co parent with her internation ally. Answer Correct. And that made sense to you? At the time, y es. You both lived in Boston, and you want her deported to Zimbabwe so you can both co parent internation ally. Um, yes . The two of you living in Boston, is that closer in terms of geography? Or the United States and Zimbab we? Definitely in Boston is closer than Boston and Zimbab we. Nonetheless, your goal was not to separate Priscilla from the children, was it? When she was done with him, Ilham Husseini hadn't just destroyed Alan's defen se, she had thoroughly humiliated him. This made me happ y. What the hell was wrong with me? I think I can honestly say that I had never before enjoyed seeing someone humiliated in public . If a movie or a play contains even a hint of ridicule, if the director is mean to their character,s I find it unbearable to wat ch. And here I was, rejoicing in the ritual shaming of my cousin, a person I can still see as a naked pudgy baby with a full head of curl s And the person I identified most with at the trial was the prosecutor. This too had never happened to me. I'd never thought you go girl when watching an assistant U.S. attorney pound away at a defendant who I have covered dozens of trials in this country and elsewhere. I spent a couple of years immersed in American terrorism trials, where most of the evidence came from FBI agents. I'd seen defendants who had done monstrous things, like set off bombs of the Boston Marathon, and stupid things, like dispose of the evidence. Maximum sent ence. I had never before disregarded defense arguments so completely, and I'd never before trusted the testimony of an undercover agent so f ully. If I paused to think about it, I'd have to note that there was something very odd about some of those signal messages, which were shown not as screenshots, but as pictures of a phone taken with another phone, and which contained incorrect ages for both k ids. But even though I have known the FBI to manufacture evidence. I had no patience for the public defender's focus on these strange messag es. And also no empat hy. The jury deliberated for just a few hours. There couldn't have been much of a disagreement. Guilty, I texted my father. Understood, he respond ed. Nine minutes later he added, as you might have guessed, I am not surprised . None of us had any doubt anym ore. When she said guilty, I I literally I just burst into tears. I didn't expect that. But I f elt it was like a huge sense of relief . I had been checking in with Priscilla throughout the tri al. At the beginning, she was reserved, focused on her own testimon y. Then she finally got angry, that Alan valued her life, or I guess her death, so little, that he'd haggled, wanting to get rid of her on the che ap. Her sense of relief now came from having other people see what she'd been through, but also what she hadn't wanted to see, what she tried to push away by feeling sorry for Alan. The verdict said Alan is rotten, objectively rot ten. It was no longer her private war with Alan. It was now the United States versus Alan Gesson. I could hear the relief in Priscilla's voice. And I thought I could hear something else too. Priscilla had done so much waiting for documents, visas, court decisions, then for this trial. And now finally, Alan would be locked away, and Priscilla could start living her life. I think that the one thing that I lost throughout this experience was the feeling as though my life was valu able. So the amount of care and attention that's been given to investigating this, to protecting me, kind of made me start feeling like I was a person. I didn't have to deserve to be alive. And that is something that is I am forever grateful for. This is going to be the first story in my career where the FBI or the good guys . What sentence do you want for him now? The maximum. Really like the maxim um. Me too, Priscilla. Me to o. The maximum sentence possible was ten ye ars. And assuming he gets ten years or thereabouts, have you given any thought to what happens when he comes out of prison? I'm hoping they find something else. He should just remain where he is. Priscilla was hoping that Alan would serve his time somewhere far away from her and the kids, because she was afraid he'd get someone, maybe someone he met in prison, to come after her. I couldn't understand wh y. She had felt haunted by Alan for almost four years now. She hadn't felt safe walking or driving or even being in her own apart ment. The one time she let her guard down, when she thought they'd reached an agreement, he hired someone to kill her. If I were Priscilla, I'm sure I would want Alan to be locked up for ever. If I were Priscilla, that would feel like justi ce. But I'm not Priscilla. I should be able to see the bigger pic ture. And in this bigger picture, things had shif ted. It was Alan who was alone now, fighting for his life. Yes, I thought that his soft voice and his tears might be an act, and his long beard and stooped posture at least in part a cost ume. But I also knew that he had been in jail for almost a year, that he had lost his adored son, and his nifty life full of gadgets and tinder matches, his businesses, his ambitions, and would surely lose his law licen se. I knew that the American prison system is inhumane, that it doesn't help people become better, and that in the end it offers victims almost nothing to o. I wasn't even a victim in this case, and yet I wanted venge ance. Was it time to admit that I was a hypocrite who opposed carceral justice only when it was about strangers, not when it was about my own famil y. As a journalist, I try to exercise what's called strategic empathy, to understand why people do what they do, even if what they do is ultimately unjustifia ble. And maybe I had to admit now that this approach was always more about being strategic than about feeling empat hy. But when it came to my cousin Alan, I couldn't even find my way to strategic empat hy. I couldn't even imagine what he was thinking, much less what he was feeling when he did all the horrible things he did. But then that changed. I came to know, or at least think I know, what was going through Alan's he ad. I even came to feel a kind of affinity for him I mean, it got to the point where on the morning after my own wedding, I picked out some photos of O and L to send to Alan in prison so he would see how beautiful they look ed. All it took to get there was 35 hours of phone conversations with Alan. Some of the strangest interviews I've ever conduc ted. That's next time on The I diot. Someone's got it in for me The plenty stories and the praise The Idiot was reported and written by me, M. Gesson, and produced by Daniel Giermet with Andrey Barzenke and Lika Kramer of Libeliba Studios. Our editor is Julie Snyder. Additional editing by Ira Glass and Sarah Koenig. Research and fact checking by Ben Fawan and Marisa Robertson Texter. Original score by Alison Leighton Brown. Additional music from Dan Powell and Marion Loz ano. The show was mixed by Phoebe Wang with additional mixing by Catherine Anderson, additional production by Fia Bennett at Serial Productions, and Day Chubu is our supervising producer. Mac Miller is our associate producer. Video production by Sean Devaney. Our direction from Kelly Dill. Art by John Kern, credits music by Bob Dyl an. At the New York Times, our standards editor is Susan Wesling. Legal Review by Alamine Sumar, Dana Green, Jackson Bush, and Tim Ty. Our senior operations manager is Elizabeth Davis Moore, and Sam Dolnik is Deputy Managing Editor of the New York Times. To find out about our upcoming shows and more about this show, sign up for the newsletter at nytimes.com slash serial newsletter. Special thanks to Andrew Saintsing and Tobin L ove. The Idiot is a production of Serial Productions and the New York T imes.