Health Benefits of Infrared Saunas

E little thing you think that's me Every little thing a thing that you need Every little thing that's just feeding your greed or I betad that you be fine without it Yes, the minalists, a meaningful life with less. Joshua Fields, Milbourne over here. and look who's over there, TK Coleman. I love your smile. A That's a shout out to my home girl, Chhemise. She's on the couch today. Simple Haven graduate. She was at our retreat this year and now back here in LA hanging out with us in the studio. Professor Seaan's here as well. Savy D is out skateboarding with Bam Margera literally. Is that right? Yeah, he' sent me a text and I'm I'maying at Bam's house right now. first my first thought was bam out of Bio, right? Yeah, you're staying with If you hang out you staying more with Yanis right now. Shout out to Savidy. He'll be back with us next week. He's always here in spirit as is Tom Kat And of course, audio Bin and everyone else from the team Here's something to chew on TK. Rest is not the reward for carrying the burden Rest is what allows you to lift it What can you tell me about this distinction, TK? U Well, it's kind of like saying, you know, Gas is not the reward for driving a car It's the thing that fuels it. Can you imagine if you looked at your tank and saw it was on empty and you go, all right We'll get some gas soon But let me just, you know, drive a hundred more miles first and then I'll feel better about getting gas. Well, you're not going to make it a hundred miles And when you have to get gas, it's going to be a lot harder to go get it. It's the same way when we treat rest as a reward. Rest is not a reward for doing the work, it is a form of replenishment that gives us strength so that we can be able to do our work with excellence. I think about what the monastics referred to as retreating from the world into the interior silence by which the true self is known. When you retreat from the world, you give yourself permission to step back. you discover things about yourself, you orient yourself towards the world properly, you ground yourself, and then you can move forward with the work, and you can work with power, often doing less and getting more results I was listening to Dave Chappelle recently. He was Michelle Obama brought her podcast out to Yellow Springs, Ohio,ayon, Ohio. And they just opened this new NPR space there. The radio station in Greater Dayton is in Yellow Springs and they opened this beautiful new facility there. As the first thing they recorded there was this podcast with Dave Chappelle and Michelle Obama. And one of the things he talked about is he tells his wife, if you ever see me just staring off into the distance, leave me alone because that's when I'm doing my work Yeah, And it was like so profound because you could tell that he said, I don't there's nothing I enjoy more in life than just thinking Silently, just looking off in the distance. And I think that's part of what we're talking about with rest. When you talk about the gas tank, that really reminded me of growing up, my brother Jerome, his first car was the old nineteen eighty oldsmobile, Delta eighty eight. It was a boat, right? It was huge. But the gas gauge didn't work And also, there was a hole in the lining in the middle of the gas tank. So you could fill up the tank only halfway. And you never knew when it was on E Isn't that a metaphor for often how we feel like we can't really gauge when do we need rest? And in fact, that's what I want to talk to you a bit about today, actuallyually a lot about that today. Coming up on this episode, we're talking about setting down burdens that exhaust us, why it's so difficult to ask for help, the scientific benefits of infrared saunos and so much more. Let's start with our callers. If you have a question for the show We'd love to hear from you four zero six two one nine, seven eight three nine. That is the phone number to join the program. or you can just email a voice recording right from your phone to podcast at the mininimalists dot com dot We'd love to hear from you. Let us know if you're aatreon subscriber when you call so we can prioritize your message. Shout out to our patrons. You keep this podcast one hundred percent Avertisement free. Our first question today is from Whitney Hello, this is Whitney from Indianapolis, Indiana, a Patreon subscriber I need your help with something I for the sake of the podcast Okay I'll call it the Strongman fallacy. culture, specifically American culture We've gotten so used to consumption and abundance I've noticed a big shift since COVID between givers and takers in society. Instant gratification seems to have brought the mindset that because everything has become so convenient Nothing and no one should be inconvenient oods services foodood have all been outsourced to a consumer driven market. They are no longer expected to be given within community. Although I very much appreciate the modern conveniences that we all enjoy and have benefited from them, I've started to notice this is the way people treat others too. The words, I need help have become something everyone expects you to outsource. Strong ones or the givers of society have become so relied upon, like a grocery store checkout line, people cannot seem to understand that humans are fallible This leads me to the Strongman fallacy Where should the strong men or women in my case urn when it becomes our time to fall I have experienced both post traumatic stress. and post traumatic growth. And what I have observed is the only meaningful difference between the two These times w. I had releliable humans who caught me This is when I experienced growth. and the other was when humans saw me as a burden instead of at risk What do you do when you have an abundant spirit and a time of emotional or physical scarcity? Is there ever a healthy time when the strong man or woman needs to collapse into rest Thanks for your thoughts. TK Whitney is always the strong one I think you and I both experience our own lives, but what happens when The person that everyone depends on is the one who's Falling apart or falling down Mm The first thing I want to say is that phrase collapse into rest really jumped out at me It's something that By all means you want to try to avoid. Rest is not something that you wantna collapse into. That stirs up the image for me of someone whose body is shutting down because they aren't giving it what it needs. They aren't taking the time to set boundaries and give themselves permission to rest, to relax, to nourish themselves And if your primary way of resting is when you have to collapse to get there That's not a good thing That's an indicator that we might be creating our lives in a way that doesn't support a sustainable path towards health The secondecond thing I would say too is I heard this one person say Please don't treat me like I'm a saint Because one day I'm going to stumble and fall like any ordinary human being does. And when that moment happens, I need you to look at me with pity and to help me, not to look at me with scandal like, oh, the saint has fallen I understand being in the situation where you often have to feel like you're the strong one, but that's also a brand that we can build in the eyes of others, perhaps not intentionally, but sometimes just by not challenging what needs to be challenged If someone walks up to you every day and calls you a billionaire and you smile and you laugh, you may not ever say, I'm a billionaire. You may not have ever asked for that, but you're not challenging it, you're not pushing back on it. And I think if you find yourself in a situation when you've got to uphold this brand of being the strong person such that you feel a scandal when you're weak and you're not able to talk about that or get the help that you need I think that's an indicator that it's time to start changing the way we represent ourselves to other people, even when we are helping them You know, we can be honest about our weaknesses. Hey, I don't have much, but here's what I can do for you. I don't have three hours, but I can give you thirty minutes. I don't have fifty dollars, but I can give you five dollars. I don't have an hour of time, but I can know see what I can help you come up with in the next ten minutes. And also man, hey, pray for me too, man, cheheck on me too because I really relate to what you're going through. I'm doing good right now. I'm in a good place right now, but I know what it's like to have that struggle. Check on me too Always market the part of yourself That is vulnerable and that is finite without overdoing it in a way that makes it look like your attention seeking. I think that's an important thing. But where is the line between whooe is me? Because we also have that person who is the whooe is me person. They're always complaining, they're always in trouble. And it's almost like the boy who cried, Wolf, I have a couple family members like this and extended family members In a way, it's not that I don't trust them, but my antenna goes up anytime I get a message from them. and I hate that it goes up because I'm like, what are they looking for? What is the angle here? Because I've been burned by that person and giving my attention to them before. So where is the line between Whoe is me and yeah, I need help. and I am I'm not infallible. So this is not a question for the strong man. This is a question for the person that identifies so strongly with weakness that that's the only side of themselves that they ever show. That's what you're asking. How do you cultivate strength in that person? Yeah, although that person I don't think would identify as I don't know, collapsing into their weakness. they would identify as the world is out to get me and I am a victim of circumstances. Yeah. So let's do some conversational role playay and I'll kind of illustrate my approach. My philosophy here is number one Be willing to accept small wins when dealing with people who need to make big changes. Never put the pressure on yourself to get someone where they need to be overnight or to do all the healing for another person for them. Sometimes it's good enough for you to play a role where you sow a small seed that someone else will water or that will come into fruition one day when you're not around. but you don't have to do all the things for people that need help can just have a positive impact. But I want you to play the role of this person that's constantly identifying with the weaknesses. and I want to model for you away with curiosity. without being preachy how you can sow some seeds of agency while still being empathetic. She can't gota to tell you I u M, I just feel like u I can't ever win Like no matter what I do There's always someone who steps in and before I'm even successful interrupts the whole thing. That's tough man. I'm sorry to hear that. L Is there something recent that happened that's bringing this up right now I mean, it happens all the time, but but yeah, recently, someone It's why to say they took advantage of me. and without going into too much detail you know, this this person I really trusted, they, um They they forsook our relationship in a way that didid me a lot of harm. So I'm not done, but I just want to offer a little metal level commentary here. I've already achieved one small victory by asking you for an example You didn't feel defensive about that, like I put you on the spot. It sounds like genuine curiosity because that's what it is. But I've also challenged you to go from the abstract to the specific. And anytime you go from talking about your problems in the abstract to getting specific and concrete about something that happens to you, you're exercising some agency and some intentionality. And this is good for me because I'm trying to get to know you, but it's also good for you because there's a level of ownership you're taking now when you get specific that you weren't quite taking when you were being abstract. But okay, that's the situation. Is that something that Is that something that like surprised you? Did you see it coming? Were there any red flags? No, man, it didn't surprise me. It happens all the freaking time Yeah, I know in general, but with this particular person, they it sounds like it's something that caught you off guard. Yeah, I guess so I wasn't expecting, ith. Why do you think this happens a lot Well I think it's because I'm you know, I'm the person who's always there for other people And, and then I need them to be there for me and they they're just not So you it almost feels like people are taking advantage of your goodness. L when other people are in needee You see that and it feels good to you to be there for them But then when you're in a position where you're vulnerable and you need help people that you help, they just kind of ghost you. That's right. And also it's not even that I need the help, man. It's like I just get out of my way and don't don' don't get in the way. Okay? Like what's an example of somebody getting in the way Well So recently I was, you know, I was at work and And I just big know The project needed to be turned in and all these spreadsheets needed to be done. And then the person who I was working on the spreadsheet with, man, they just they just kept adding more and more things ono it and made me stay late. and they didn't even think about the fact I had to stay late and the work to finish the spreadsheet that they had added to. If they just hadn't added anything to it, I would have been done by five o'clock and we could have both gotten out of there on time Yeah, they double your workload. Yeah. that don't sound fair to me. I'm just curious, not suggesting that you needed to do this, but Did you say anything to him about it No, man, I don't think it would help. was that Beause I mean, I've mentioned it before, you know, I made little comments and stuff and I never't really pay attention They just say whatever they need to say to get out of the moment, then they just go back to doing the same thing. Yeah, yeah, it's almost like they act like they care, but then the same thing just happens over and over. What would be your ideal? Like what would you like to have happen Man, I don't know. I guess I just I I wouldd like for I would like for these people to stop making my life so difficult if they stop doing that, what will life look like for you I think it'd be easier, man. Like It's like I'm not playing the video game on hard mode anymore Yeah And What would you do with your life when you felt that ease? And what would you do different? I just feel like my life will feel a lot lighter and a lot less stressed And a lot less chaotic, you know? Yeah, it's not like, hey, I would go to Disneyland. I would leave the country. it's just more like You would just feel less stress, you would feel more peace, you would feel more joy. You'd still be living the same life, but you feel good about it. Yeah, but I'd be able to do more with my time too.. I know that like I'd be able to accomplish more. I don't know exactly what, but I know is that like if I free up my time and I'm not feeling all stressed all the time, if I feel calmer and more at peace I know that I will have the space to be well to do the things that I want to do and achieve the things I want to achieve. I love that. I'm going to do one more thing, but victory number two now is you've just spent about like thirty, sixty seconds talking about a positive vision for your life. You clearly don't have a robust vocabulary for talking about a positive vision of your life. Like you're kind of dealing with a lot of generalities, but I'll take it because you clearly don't do this a lot. I'll take that. we can start with the general, but you're talking about how you want to feel and that's good. You're talking about it positively So I'm sowing the seeds of agency. I'm getting you to talk about your life in a way that you don't normally talk because you're always in default in complaining mode. But I didn't shut down the complaining. I'm listening to it and I'm still asking asking these questions. Now here's one question I have for you getting back into the moment If you don't have an assets to this, that's okay. cururious If you can see any patterns in these experiences where like you end up holding the short end of the stick. so to speak Do you see anything that you could learn that could help you make adjustments and do things differently, like maybe protect yourself better or set better boundaries or anything like that Yeah I mean, I guess I could probably communicate better up frront, you know? I think I wait til afterward and then I get frustrated by the whole thing. What might that look like? By the way, that's a major victory That's game over victory right there. But just one more question, what might that look like for you Probably just telling them that I need to be out of here at a certain time or O that u I only have so many hours to work on the spreadsheet and I need to do something else with the rest of my day we can stop here I just want to say for anyone that's listening who thinks because this is a very common objection. Yeah, that's great But Randy He's the type of dude. He's not going to give me what Josh just gave you. Josh Josh went along with you and gave you some good answers that you could work with. And what I would say is sometometimes, Putting a person in a situation where you've given them a good question to think about and you've presented that question in a non threatening way, and you allow all the grace and space in the world for them to not have an answer right now is a greater achievement than we could possibly measure. If you can bring a person to a place of saying, I don't know I never thought about that before. That's a good question I don't know what that might look like. That's awesome. Yeah. That means they haven't wrestled with this before. That means no one's probably made them think about that before. And when this conversation's over, at some point that might come back to them That's more than enough power. You don't need to be the czar of every individual. You just need to be a seed sower for the values that you believe in representing in very small ways You know, the thing that I wrote down here before we started recording is strength isn't the ability to carry everything alone. It's knowing when to set something down. Oh wow Getting back to what Whitney was talking about here is sometimes I identify with like I identify with Whitney in several ways. One is I often am the guy that people rely on in my own life And part of that feels like a bur but maybe you could talk about how That's also a blessing TK blessing to be the one that's helping? Yeah, yeah, to be the one who's perceived as reliable. Yeah, I think Every weakness is in some way a a virtue that is mishandled. And I think it's important to appreciate the virtue first. And if you're someone who has a tough time saying no, a tough time putting down boundaries, it's often because deep down inside, you really like people and you really want to help them And you have a deep ability to relate to other people's needs. And you don't want to be torn apart from someone by an inability to help them. And maybe you don't even want to hurt their feelings. We can make fun of that very easily That's a good thing too. We need more human beings who actually care about the way another person feels and who says, I gott to say no to this person. but I don't want to wound them by saying no. I mean, that's a beautiful thing, But we have to do more than just take care of the other person. We also have to consider our own needs because your ability to take care of other people in a way that is sustainable depends on you nurturing yourself. And I know, I know, I'm privy to the fact that the word self care has become taboo in the world of self help philosophy. I'm privy to the fact that there's no faster way to annoy people today than to talk about the virtues of self care. But the only reason people are so annoyed is because like most cliches, it's such an obvious, undeniable and important truth that we just talk about it so much that we get annoyed by the things that are obvious and we crave something that is that is more novel. And of course, every good tool, every good idea can be abused, so can self care. But for some people, you know, when I have conversations about how to say no every single conversations I've ever had There are always people who step up And they have this really easy time saying no and they bash the conversation. No is a complete sentence. Just say no. It's really simple. And the fact of the matter is there are people like that in the universe. There are people who enjoy saying no. There are people who just don't have any difficulty and it's so hard for them to understand conversations like this. You know, they just see it as overly complicated. But the fact of the matter is there are wonderful, beautiful, loving, empathetic people in the world who would rather die before they made someone else sad or cry before saying no. And even if you prove to them with a logical proof that the other person isn't going to be hurt, it's so hard for them to uncouple from that narrative. And I think we have to handle those cases differently I think there's another side of this too. and I also identify with this, and I think this might be where Wendy is I don't have anyone to really go to for consistently. She said the times where I've experienced growth, I have had someone to fall back on., right but I don't always have someone to fall back on. And you know I personally struggle with this. And growing up in the environment I did, I often feel like like fifty cent that I pulled this clip that I thought was the perfect way to wrap up Whitney's question here. Can we give us a play, professor I never, ever I never ran from anything because I had nobody to go to. I've always had it where I'm going home to get me Aobody there? R right You know what I'm saying? Like so I've always been in a situation where I'm forced to deal with it myself I'm always forced to deal with it myself. Where am I going to run to? We're gonna go home to get me And that's often how I felt. Now I will tell you I had a brother that I really looked up to and Really, he was the guy I went to for help and I need it when there was something that was bigger than me. So even then I had like I didn't have a dad at home. My mom was basically an absentee mother when we were young. So I didn't really have anyone to go to. And part of that was figure it out yourself. And to me, that's where the blessing in a lot of this is is I don't have other people as a crutch all the time, or at least I didn't. and therefore I often had to figure it out myself. And that meant a lot of failures, a lot of stumbling that was okay, right? Because that is the place from which I grew. And so the I felt the opposite of Whitney in this experience. The place from which I grew is when I didn't have someone to fall back. I didn't have a plan B. It was figure this out or it doesn't get figured out. You know I think one small thing you can do if you find yourself in this kind of situation where you don't have anyone to run to, you don't have anybody to help you. You're always the stronger person. is you can You can sow little seeds that will make it less shocking for other people and less unnatural for you when you get to a point where you have to ask for help. And that is, you can make it a practice to just ask whoever you are around for advice on small tiny little things, recognizing that you never have to follow their advice. So if you've got a project that you're working on, if you've got something that you're sorting out and you're completely confident that your way is the best way and the only way, you still can ask someone around you, Hey, if you're in my situation, what would you do ople will tell you And you may find what they say to be useless. You may find that it reinforces what you already believe. You may find that it surprises you by giving you a new angle on something that's very helpful. But whatever the case, there's no real loss in that And you've made it a little less shocking for you to be the kind of person who is asking for help. When you get around to the point where you need someone, you don't want to be asking them for something big for the first time. It's like having a friend who owns a truck And you don't talk to that friend for three years. and then when you got to move, you call up the friend and you say, can I borrow your truck to move my stuff? Your friend's gonna feel awkward, you're gonna feel awkward. It doesn't work. So how about you do something different? You text or call your friend once every week Once every couple of weeks How are things going, man or eight I got a job interview tomorrow Any thoughts on how you would handle this? any tips? or hey, I got a job interview tomorrow. Pray for me ve been feeling kind of sick lately Just pray for me. Everything will be cool, Just be good to have somebody thinking about me. Whatever it may be, little small things that make it easy for people to say, I got your back or here's how I would think about it. And it kind of helps you ease into the practice of asking for help with bigger things. The key there is the small things part. It's not asking them to help you move every other weekend. It is when you actually do need the help And also the other way to think about it is showing up the person who helps me out a lot, I'm conditioned to want to help them even more. And so where Whitney is right now is she's the helper in her family in her community. How wonderful People want to help the helper because of how much you've contributed to their lives as well. Whitney, thank you so much for your question. Before we get back to our callers TK, let let's struggle with the question of the week, which is Where do you struggle ask for Where do you struggle to ask for help? Let's check in with the Patreon community chat. Gail said, I find asking for help difficult. If I don't already know the person is going to say yes If there's any doubt in my mind that someone might say no I won't ask. T care, areren't there benefits to hearing no too? Yes, especially if you ask for feedback I think I mentioned to you, I don't know if I told you this or not, but I remember back when I was living in Kalamazoo, Michigan, I went to apply for a job at Apple Be'. There were two Apple Be's in Kalamazoo at that time. And I went and I thought I did pretty solid the interview. They didn't hire me. They didn't call me back. So I went back and I asked the person You know, is there anything I could do to improve And she says, yeah, you had a good interview smile more That was all she said and I put the pieces together for myself that she was saying, Hey, look, man If you're gonna to be serving my customers You got to at least look like you're happy to be there and look like you're happy to see them. Whatever it was you gave me in this interview, you didn't give that to me you know? And so I took that advice and I drove straight to the Apple Bees on the other side of town. and I did an interview and I kids you not. I did everything that I did in the first one and I just answered all the questions like this, like, yeah, previous job was like I used I did my LL Kujay, you know, impersonation. I was just looking at your lips, My lips just smile like, yeah, girl, you know. So I used to do this right here, you know, and like this. And I got hired right on the spot. right on the spot. And it's one of those examples of how when you get a know commit to learning something from it, you might discover things that make you a better human being and you get better at getting what you want in the future. Jackie said, Hp rarely feels free. I struggle to ask for help when I perceive people will eventually ask me for something in return. TK must help be altruistic to be authentic? or is transactional help still a worthwhile form of help Transactional help is not only a worthwhile form of help, but it's a necessary inevitable form of help. All human interaction cannot possibly be altruistic. There has to be some level of transactional help, even if we do our best to be decent and dignified and diplomatic and kind about it. But sometimes it's as simple as look, I don't know you You don't know me I trust that you're not going to try to murder me. You trust that I'm not going try to murder you Can you give me the hat and I give you the money? And we can just be honest about the fact without being roote to each other that we don't want to hang out. We don't want this to be any more than this. That's okay. And that's also a form of help. and we don't think about it that way. It is a form of help, right The important thing is you've got to be honest with yourself and others about when you're doing the transaction. Transactional interaction becomes dangerous when you tell yourself a story that what you're really doing is something else. When you tell yourself it's love and it's transactional, that's dangerous. When you tell yourself it's transactional and it's love, that's dangerous. Both are fine when you can be honest about what it is. And transactions can be authentic except for when you're talking about, when you're pretending It's love. Yeah But it's actually a transaction. That's when the there's an incongruency there. Well, on the flips side of, I want to hear what you thought about something real quick. What do you think about the idea of not asking somebody for help? Because you kind of need it. but you're afraid they're gonna to ask for something back. I thought that was interesting. Yeah, I mean, what Jackie's saying here is like There's a fear of rejection really is all it is. And I think we all have that fear of rejection to some extent, because once upon a time through human evolution, being rejected meant you were shunned from the tribe and you didn't have anywhere else to turn. And so that fear of rejection feels amplified. In fact, we reject ourselves in our mind before we even make the ask as Jackie say. Who knows how many people might have said yes? that she automatically said no to them and she didn't ask them because she assumed that they might say no. But being in sales for so long, it really got me out of that habit. I learned just it was a numbers game. I was doing cold calling for several years before I started managing retail stores and this is the late nineties, early audies have to call and I knew that it took for every ten calls, I'm going to get nine nos. And before that, it was like forty ns for every every one yes. R turnurn it into like a video game, basically. That's right. And I would say, Oh look, that's I'm one no closer to a yes And and when I gamified it that way, it became fun. and we would start having competitions. We're standing on the desks calling people. And have you ever saw the movie Boiler Room, it's just like it's playful. And there's a guy in Boiler Rom, one of the clients that he's calling. He says, I think I'll pass. And he goes, I don't see a number on your back. The only people making money from passing have our quarterbacks. and so you're like you're just playing around with it and it really builds your confidence. So and what I would say is getting more knows is the best way to build your confidence. But on the flip side of Jackie's comment, I thought this was an interesting Observation from Martha. Martha says, the older I get, the more I understand that asking for help builds relationships and trust. In my corporate days, I saw asking for help as a weakness. Now I am more aware of the need for assistance. I'm aging and my adult children like to help me out when they're able. My ego still doesn't like to ask for assistance and yet I know There is connection in the ask. What about you, listeners? Where do you struggle to ask for help? Let us know your thoughts in the comments. All right, I got my minimal maxim ready TK. By the way, you can find this episode's maxims in the show notes over at the minimalists dot com slash podcast and every minimal maxim ever at minimalmaxims dot com dot We' also deliver our weekly show notes directly to your inbox For free in the simple newsletter every Monday, we start your week with a dose of simplicity. No spam, no junk, no ads, no noise, just a quick writing and a little bit more of less. You can subscribe to that at the mininimalists. com All right, give me something pithy, TK. Where do you struggle to ask for help? Listen, this is the first minimal maximum I just couldn't come up with anything. So you need some help. but yeah. You can't even ask. You see that? So look, I said I said, Josh, do Do I struggle to ask for help? And Josh goes, A you kidding me? And I go, oh my gosh, the answer is so obvious And I have no idea what it is. CK, I don't know anyone who struggles more asking for help than you. No way For real Except but this is crazy. Tell me more per Wow. Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know, I will I see areas where like I almost see you wanting to ask for help, but like I think you see it as maybe, I don't know if it's a form of weakness or whatever. Now I'm projecting onto you So understand it I don't necessarily think this, but but there are times where I'm like If you need help, just ask for it, T, can you be like, right. And then you don't. And I'm just like, Hey, man, can I help you with this? And you're like, yeah, okay, okay And and I know that if you truly are in an emergency, you'll ask for help. I'm not questioning that I know if you're an emergency, can you know you can call me and I'll go wherever you are. You could be in Guam and I'll figure out a way to come help Outside of emergency, I don't know what it is. It's not ego, it's not bravado, but is there some sort of cultural conditioning there? Tell me about it. funny, man. It know. I don't know. I have to think about that man. I think the irony here is you need less help than most people. And so maybe U And maybe when I'm saying help, I mean something specific, like a transactional ask. Hey, Josh, can you help me with this? Maybe it's this. I will tell you something. I do kind of think and it affects how much help I ask for it. So think of it in terms of like, we'll use this as an example, an interview And you've got somebody really fascinating that you want to talk to. They're in the studio. And maybe you've written down five questions, okay And some of those questions are super important. Like you would be really disappointed if they got out of your presence without answering that one. And then the others are kind of interesting to you. You don't want to risk asking the other questions before you cover the important stuff. You don't want to steal time and attention away from that. And I feel that way with help where the people in my life, even the ones that would go to bat for me like all the way They do have limited resources, they do have limited energy. and I respect that. I just I just accept that about people and If I know that I'm gonna to need you for maybe a big ask later or for what I think is a big ask And I need you now for something like let's say right now I want a cup of coffee and I really want a cup of coffee. I probably wouldn't ask you for that, even though I know you'd give it to me because I also probably have in my head something big I wantna ask you in two weeks or a month. and I'm like, I'm gonna to save up my ask for that, becausecause that's more important to me.'ll do it the argument I would make against that is our friendship doesn't have a ledger. and maybe there is on some emotional or spiritual level, there is an energetic ledger around that that is not one for one debits and credits, but there is a okay, that's what I talked about earlier. Sometimes you have this friend. they're always ing or trying to inject themselves into like how of what can I extract from this? And that's obviously not you. In fact, it's often the opposite with you where it's like, hey, extract something from this relationship, TK. E though I know you would never feel that, but I think the other part of it is probably just like, you're similar to me in this respect. You're like, I got this And and I don't actually need help in a lot of instances. So I will say that so that when I actually know that I need help I'm going to reach out Yeah But you also do a good job of still building the relationship without asking for help. And I think that's the distinction you made earlier where it could be simply you're engaging with someone so that every three years, you're like, can I borrow your truck? It doesn't feel awkward. And if you did have a big ask of me next week, we would figure it out. I wouldn't have any issue with that. And vice versa, I know the same Just recently my brother died. I asked you for a few things to help out with that. And I know that you were willing to do it. And and even in that moment, I'm like, oh, this is something I can't do. I need TK's help with it. And And it's hard for me to ask that too. So I relate with Whitney and several of the other people who wrote in today. And I relate with you on this. You've helped me see something. so the explanation I gave for myself isn't based on the assumption that I'm right. It's just the expression of a habit. And I think you're right here, and you've helped me realize something. When it comes to asking philosophical questions, I am completely unapologetic. I have no conscience whatsoever. If you're in my presence and I think you know something that I want to know, I can't imagine being insecure or self conscious That tr. You' the best at that. Because I just have no conscience with it. I'm going to ask you and I can't even control myself On the other hand, I'm not like that at all with asking for resources or for someone to help me in a way that would use their resources And we've even had situations where we've had people on this show and you knew coming into the episode that I was a big fan of this author or whatever. And you've suggested things like you should email them. likeike you know them now. they're on the show. You should interview that guy. And my attitude towards that has been like, nah, you know, no, not. But when that person's here, I'd like, what do you think about this? What do you think about that But it's like N man, I'm not going to email that guy. I'm not going to bother that guy. There is something there where the freedom I have with asking in one area doesn't translate to other areas. and part of that S say what it? It totally could. Yeah. It totally could We're unpacking that right now. and we'll do more of that later on. We won't use this episode for it. but yeah, totally could. Yeah. Yeah. maybe we'll use page two or somewhere on page three to keep unpacking. My pithy answer was simply this, every pillar needs a foundation. And so when I think about asking for help, that's like that's one of the illers and cant I can't ask for help without without having some sort of basic foundation. Doesn't need to be the most sturdy structure, but those are the people that I that I tend to way out of my way to help out. as someone who has worked hard to help themselves in some way, even if they failed repeatedly at it, but I see the effort that is being made, I feel good about trying to help That person out. That's almost the end of page one. We still have an entire switchboard of callers to talk to. Also in a second we'll do a what would Josh own question here at the end of page one. But first real quick for right here right now, I've got two things going on in the life of the minimalist. First off, look at this look at this little book, DK. He. If you're watching the video version, shhout out to Dave and Sean. We finally got this in pocket size version of very, very simple. I've got this This We started this as an audiob book. You and I recorded an audiobook and I put out an ebook version of it. and then we formatted it to make it this beautiful little pocket size. I can keep this in my back pocket now. Very, very simple, twelve tools for a simpler life. It's an inexpensive print book. You can buy ten of them, hand them out to your friends, family, coworkers, enemies You can use them as door stops, whatever you want to do. But it's twelve simple tools for a simpler life. There's actually thirteen in here plus the bonus five from previous works that we've done. So I guess you really have eighteen different tools for a simpler life. What does it say on the back here? Very, very simple is a clear, compassionate guide to living with less And finally, feeling better about the stuff you own. Inside, you'll discover twelve practical tools, flexible rules, not dogma to help you define what's no longer acceptable in your life and let it go Less clutter, fewer distractions, more. life. You can check out very, very simple at very verysimple. com. You can get the audio book on Audible. Or you can get the ebook on Amazon or the print book on Amazon as well. Hope you check that out. Also, one more thing. We just opened a few additional clutter counseling slots on this month's calendar. So if you want to ask for help, if you're struggling with physical clutter, emotional clutter, relationship clutter, or career clutter or any other kind of clutter, the minimalist can help. Okay, cllutter counseling session with us today over at the mininimalists dot comot just click counseling there TK, what are your favorite problems to solve to help out with during these sessions? helping people One route self defeating thoughts them from giving themselves permission to do the things they want to do. many of my clients sit across from me and they say This is what I would do if I could And when I say, why can't you? The answer is rarely, if ever. disability. or a non negotiable circumstance. It's some kind of story that says I would be a bad person I would be an un loving person I would be a lazy person I will become too soft if I allow myself to say yes. And helping people rework that and reframe that is one of my greatest joys. You do such a great job man. Clutter counseling over at the minimalists dot com justust click counseling at the top. There are a few additional slots open this month. Before we get on to page two, let's do what with Josh own question. This one is from Jess Hi, this is Jess calling from Naples Qestion for, what would Joshua own What kind of infrared sauna do you have? scandal. Is it true that JFM has a sauna at home? Come on, man. What kind of sauna does he have Yes, yes. I do own a sauna Suna. I use it for about twenty two minutes every other day right now. I was just in it yesterday. Sometimes that varies. sometometimes I'll use it like I think Friday, Saturday, I used it two days in a row there, but generally every other day for twenty two minutes. And I'll tell you what kind of sauna I have in a second. But first, let's talk about why I decided to actually purchase one. I got it four years ago. So first off, I want to say this, hereere's my caveat. You don't need to buy a sauna to have access to one I didn't for years and I use them almost daily. Good quality saunas are not cheap, but I am. So I waited to buy mine until I was sure I would actually use it. and I had the space for it at home, which it doesn't take up much space. I have an outdoor unit, which we'll talk about here in a second. But over the years, I have used saunas at my local YMCA, at the gym, at local spas, at friends' houses et ccera, et cetera, etcetera. So I would start there before considering buying a saun and make sure you like it. It's like test driving a car, but I'm just gonna to buy a saun. I've never actually tried it U Second, it turns out there are all kinds of health benefits from regular sauna use, especially infrared saunas. so I have an infrared sauna at home. So I'm gonna turn this into a mini more about less segment. We usually do more about less. In fact, we have a great more about less coming up on page three here. But I'm gonna turn this into a mini more about less segment where I'm gonna read something to you These are the benefits of infrared saunas. According to the Mayo Clinic, infrared saunas use light to directly heat your body at lower temperatures than traditional saunas. This therapy is linked to several wellness benefits including improved cardiovascular health, reduced inflammation, muscle recovery, and deep relaxation. Here are the core health and wellness benefits, are five of them here. In fact, we'll put a link to this in the show notes, you can go ahead and read more if you want. I'll just read the highlights. Heart and health circulation, muscle and joint pain relief. That one was a big one for me. Stress reduction, that is a huge That's not why I started doing it, but wow, wow, does it help with stress reduction. Skin clarity, againgain, not why I started using it We did we talked to Andy about when we did the minimal skin carere episode. One of the best things you can do for your skin is sweat regularly. and one of the best ways to do that is with a sauna. The biggest reason I do it is this last benefit is toxin release. I have that MTHFR gene mutation, so it's harder for me to detox then A lot of people But a lot of people have it. It's not an insignificant number. There's a large plurality of people who have this gene mutation. But even if you don't, like there are only four ways for your body to detox. You know all four of them off top of your heads, oK. Okay. so you have your breath You have well, number one and number two, your pee and your poop, right? And then your largest organ in your body is your skin. That's the main way the main four ways that your body detoxes. I remember the first time I got into a sauna, it was same day I got to an ice bath. I was thirty one years old maybe. I was here in Los Angeles, Ryan I on tour. It was december, I think twenty eleven And u, I guess would have made me thirty years old. And we stopped by this Russian bathhouse and I got into a sauna It took me forever to start sweating Like a long, long time. and everyone's just pouring sweat. And I'm twenty minutes in, I'm still not sweating. and I realizeed like, oh, I haven't been detoxing much at all And eventually I started sweating what I can only describe as like a brown dust It was the it was like sand was coming out of my pore. Like the finest and I couldn't explain it. And ever since then I knew that like, oh, I need to do this way more frequently.. It sounded like an exorcism. Yeah, you s like a horror film. but it kind of was a horror film and I realized I needed to start doing a lot more of it. But I actually really enjoy doing it now. It's a meditative space. I'm often going there with my wife or with other people Most people on our team have been in the sauna. I think Seaan, you've been in there before, maybe even a few times. And yeah, it's just an enjoyable experience. It's a communal experience or I just go do it by myself and meditate. Here's how it works, according to this article here. Unlike conventional saunas that heat the air around you, infrared light penetrates directly into the body, often one point five to two inches deep because it operates at more comfortable temperatures, typically one hundred twenty to one hundred forty degrees. I usually do about one hundred forty five In the infrared? Well, if I'm in a dry sauna, I like it really hot, like two hundred two hundred ten absurd level of heat. But infrared, you don't have to have it up that hot. It says it's a highly accessible option for those who struggle with intense heat of traditional hot air saunas. Yeah, my wife prefers that much more than a two hundred ten degree sauna Et perspective, while studies show promise for chronic health conditions and heart health, medical institutions like the Cleveland Clinic and the Mayo Clinic point out that while no harmful effects have been reported, large scale studies are still ongoing to fully substantiate all claims. Always consult a health care professional before starting new heat therapies especially if you have preree existing cardiovascular or blood pressure conditions. And with that info out of the way, the brand of sauna I use is called Clearlight I got about four years ago And I chose the company because Their units are low EMF, which was important to me They have a lifetime warranty And they have an outdoor version, which was useful for me because I don't have space in my home for something like that. And they've been in the business for a long time since the nineties. I didn't want to buy something that was like an ad on Instagram. and it's a brand new company that's been around for six months. I don't know what's going to happen. so I didn't want to fly by night company for some purchase this big. I have what's called their sanctuary outdoor model. We'll put a picture of it here on the screen, Tomcat Will. You can see the unit that I use I will tell you this, just to full transparency. I've had two issues with my sauna over the last four years It never stopped working for me, which is great, but I did have a faulty part that came loose on the exterior. so it was just a sort of superficial facade thing that needed to be fixed. And another time, the timer on the display working or was working intermittently. The sauna still worked, but the timer was kind of off. But thankfully the clear lightight folks came out and fixed it almost immediately. It was a little shocking how quickly they came out. And I think it's part of the lifetime warranty. if anything goes wrong, they will come out and fix it for you. Jess, when I got your question, I emailed the Clearlight folks and asked them if they had some sort of affiliate discount code that I could give you. They said that since each sauna is made to order, they asked me to just have you email Sage at healwithheat dot com and they'll give you and anyone listen to this a discount. So I guess if you decide to get one, you might actually end up paying less for yours than I did for mine. I will put Sage's email address and phone number in the show description For anyone who is interested. That said, this is not an impulse purchase. I spent a lot of time researching this and figuring out, making sure it was right for me. I would not buy a sauna unless you are sure you are going to use it. regularly. For anyone else who has a what would Josh own question or a listener tip for the show? We'd love to hear from you. send a voice memo to podcast at the mininimalists. com so we can feature your voice on a future episode. All right, much more coming up on page two and page three But first Let's take a quick painiculation break We'll be right back All right, y'all, that is the first thirty three percent. We got so much more for you on Patreon. We're gonna answer a bunch of questions. Robert asks if minimalism helped him get rid of unwanted possessions Can it also help him get rid of unwanted relatives? Then we discuss the black bag decluttering method and how much it costs to live well Also What is the best anti consumerism song so far this year? all that and so much more this week on Patreon, on the private podcasts. You can find the link in the description. When you subscribe, you can listen to our private episodes, wherever you listen to podcasts, Apple, Spotify, Overcast, et cetera, et cetera. You also gain access to all of our archives. It's more than a decade private archives And that is our minimal episode for today on behalf of Ryan Ngadimas, TK. Coleman Audio bins Spire Jeff and Dave, Tomcat, Professor Seaan, Savvy D The rest of our team. I'm Joshua Pillsilborne, youave here with just one message Let it be this Love people ese things because the opposite Never Thanks for listening to. We'll see you next time Peace. E a little thing you think that need Every little thing a thing that you need Every little thing that's just feeding your greed or I bet that you be fine without it