Looking Toward the Future and Personal Growth

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Get help right away if you have trouble breathing, or If you have swelling of your throat or tongue Solir should not be used for emergency treatment of allergic reactions including anaphylaxis So Lir is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions including anaphylaxis, while avoiding food allergens Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches, and rash parasitic infection or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please seolair. com for full prescribing information Ask an allergist about Zolir This is an advertisement for Zolir, paid for by Genintech and Novartis I love to look things up. I don't know if that's a me thing or if that's a millennial thing or it's a mom thing. No, I've like been doing this forever. I've always just liked research was something that I have researched all the time now is food. food for my kids Men I have done research for Lois's food Lois eats very well. She eats just food for dogs. It is the number one vet recommended fresh food for dogs seeeeing the difference in the quality of life that these dogs have. when they eat food with real human grade ingredients, ingredients that are visible, like you can see them. beef, the chicken, the sweet potatoes. You recognize them. The green beans, the carrots, the peas It's just fresh. It's shelf stable easy to travel with So visit just foodfdogs. com percent off your first order I'm not a huge fan of Dawson being on his iPad when we're not on a plane there is this new app that we got and it is incredible for learning. I have always been like pretty particular about what we show him on a screen, but there's some times where you just have to go with the stupid cartoon. So if you're not trying to do that Lingo kids. So yeah it's screen time, but it's not like that kind of screen time With Lingo kids, they're actually playing, singing, tapping, exploring stories. 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Caesar's Republic, Lake Tahoe, booked today This is the Ben and Ashley Eye Almost famous podcast with IHart Radio Welcome back to the Almost Fous podcast. It's been here today and I get to chat with a fan favorite in Bachelor Nation. We got to know him Katie Thurirst in season and season eight of Bachelor in Paradise He's got an incredible new children's book out called Where the Wild Heart Grows. That has a very important and I think relatable message So let's get into it. Michael A Welcome back Hey, thanks for having me on, buddy. It's nice to see youa All right, so, you know, we just celebrated Father's Day. which is a great weekend to not only celebrate the fathers in our lives, but also the fathers around us. As a single dad and so much of this conversation, Michael is going to be around kind of past moving into than the present. I know you're in a relationship and you've been in a relationship for a while and it looks happy and healthy and full of joy and all the good things. R. But in relation to this book, Obviously the past is re, you know, revisited, which it should be and remembered But as a single dad now Does Father's Day feel different to you Yeah, I think I think Father's Day has always felt different every year regardless of if I'm in a relationship or not and it's It's mainly because each year in my son's life As you'll find out too, it requires a different piece of you. And so there's there, you know, in the beginning, it's showing up. it's diapers, it's pututting them to bed, it's making sure that all their basic needs are met. And as They evolved, they developed. more deeper needs and so it's trying to meet them where at they're at. And I just had the best father's Day ever. They treated me extremely well. Jade has just been amazing and it's It's honestly so great to see their relationship blossom. Yeah, I mean, just the noise in the house sounds sounds great. The mess, you know, like James running in in the morning into our bedroom and running straight to her Like all of these things I'm very cognizant of and just feel very blessed in this season of my life How did that happen? I mean, obviously For those that don't remember, you lost your wife seven years ago, I believe Yeah And that obviously started a whole new journey for you. Not only professionally. I remember last time we talked, you were doing a lot in that space to try to care for women well and care for people going through a similar situation, but then also Uh, you know, you had James and James was what do I remember when J James was two and two old when L passed So Laura passed seven years ago, James was two You went on the show, obviously you then you met Jade How does the process for you work where you bring somebody into your home. And, you know, I know I'm going to use the wrong words, but like integrate them into you and James's life. No, no, that's a very good word. I remember when Before Jade moved, she was like, tellell me what I'm walking into. I was like, I don't know what you're walking into because this is the first time that I'm doing these things too There's there's a lot of dynamics that go into blending a family together. And there's there's a lot of emotions, I mean as a dad and as just a person I have my own personal needs of wanting to find love again and you know, wanting to see James grow up with these milestones and share them with somebody and build that relationship. And it's also being cognizant of him and his emotions and and not rushing things while still being able to set those kind of boundaries It is a balancing act and I'll tell you what, like Good looking past or looking back the last two years We've we've had successes and we've had failures, but but through it all, we've grown stronger together because we've been able to get through them together And it's just, I'm at this place right now where a lot of that worry. A lot of that concern about all of these what ifs started to get answered And I am like like I said before, it just feels like a very peaceful blessed in my life, one of the first moments in the past decade where I can take a breath and Honestly say that all that hard work is paying off and just enjoy it. You know, this this children's book that you can come out with is and it comes out, I believe next week Yeah, I think yeah, it was it was it started pre sale about a month ago. sales have been amazing. The outpouring and support has been great and we're going to start shipping out books first week in July Yeah, againain, the book is called where the wild heart grows There's a specific place right now where people can find this book and purchase it pre sale before it comes out. and then Once it gets out into the world, will be in bookstores or what's the best way for people to to go grab it Yeah, the best place right now is the wildheartgs. com and the book really has this old world feel to it U so it's actually one hundred and fifty pages Each Yeah, each illustration was done with oil on canvas by a professional painter, Luke Streeter, you guys should check him out He's actually James' best friend is his son and they go to school together. So this is essentially a story of two dads trying to find a way to slow time down and be able to connect with their kids and use storytelling as a way to start conversations with their children because When Lore passed, I didn't have the right tools to be able to like engage James in some of these tougher conversations, and I think one of the biggest misconceptions about this book is that it's about grief. It's about growing up it's about overcoming U these challenging seasons in your life And I use nature as a metaphor to be able to teach kids in a very simplistic beautiful way because the best The best wisdom and lessons that I have ever learned have always been the simplest. and a lot of times I found that wisdom in kids books. I'm not sure if you've seen the same, but some of these kids books that are out there The way they simplify almost things that we were taught a long time ago in sense have forgotten And when you're reading them to kids, you're like, is this book for the kid or is it for me And I think that's really that space where my book U where the wild hart grows lies is I think kids are going to see A story of a spider that whose web keeps breaking and the frustration that happens with that A parent, I think, is may I don't want to tell people what to take from it My hope is that they see the layers that are in this book and they will say, well, maybe this is the courage and the determination that I need in order to moveo forward from a divorce. or move forward from an idea or a goal that I had that is unfulfilled And so that's really what the book is about. Each story leads into the next. And they're really old world fables that are calming and still using nature and it's it's such a like I I'm telling you, it's so beautiful how the whole thing came out. I'm just so proud of it Hydrate your skin up to ten layers deep from AM to PM with Serai, Facial moisturizing lotion. Start your day with AM Facial mooisturizing lotions, SPF fifty providing SPF fifty protection that blends in lightweight hydration that lasts. We love SeraVi around here. It is so great. in the morning Jared and I using the facial moisturizing lotion. It's got SBF fifty in it and it's lightweight and it blends in very nicely. and it moisturizers throughout the day and it helps strengthen the skin barrier. Anything that says strengthen the skin barrier. I love It provides twenty four hour hydration and then at night It's a great time to use the PM Facial moisturizing lotion It helps repair that skin barrier in an hour and provides forty eight hour hydration. Sarah V is the number one dermatologist's recommended facial moisturizer brand and offers a range of facial moisturizers all skin types. Find yours Sol air Omolisamab is proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy, accident happens So Lir. one hundred fifty milligrams is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people one year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods While taking Zolir, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic Don't use if you're allergic to Zul air. er may cause a severe, life threatening allergic reaction called anaphlaxis Tell your doctor if you've ever had anaphylaxis Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or If you have swelling of your throat or tongue Sol air should not be used for emergency treatment of allergic reactions. including anaphylaxis. SoZair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions including anaphylaxis, while avoiding food allergens Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches, and rash parasitic infection. or heart and circulation problems have been reported Please seolair. com for full prescribing information Ask an allergist about Zoolir This is an advertisement for Zolair paid for by Genintech and Novartis If you've ever felt stuck trying to lose weight, you're not alone. Enter weight loss by hers. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals And Hers now offers access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP one medications, including the Magobi Pill and the Wigoi Pen With Wagovi at hers, lose up to twenty percent or more of your body weight when combined with diet and exercise. It helps you regulate your appetite, eat less, and keep the weight off. Plus, Wagovi is the first ever GLP one pill for weight loss. 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Can I have Lingo kids? stop, Lingo ks When did we become the Lingo Kids house? No idea. Last week it was dinosaurs. This week it Lingo Kids! Why Lingo kids? Because it's the best thing ever. You play games. What astronauts! Wild animibals and superheroes. With more than four thousand interactive games, songs, and shows, Lingo Kids is the number one entertainment platform for young kids. So no dinosaurs Everything kids love. Download it for free Obviously, we're in the season of children's books and it feels good like it's a good checks and balance on our priorities and what is important to us. like sometimes we've lost it. and it's like these are good also to go back to as an adult and say, okay When I was a kid What were my dreams What was I pursuing What was important. A was not important. and books you know rememind us. and I love that you use nature. In fact, I was just looking, we're cleaning out our house right now a little bit and doing some summer cleaning and I saw as a kid, I was a weird kid. I wrote a lot of poems. and I still like to writeo that about you, Ben? Yeah. definitely spoke to my enneagram for. We everybody shouldt know I was going to be this like dark somber you know, person as a kid. I have this I have this poem that I just read that I wrote it said fall. It was called fall and the only line that I wrote in it was, Has death ever looked so beautiful Yeah Amen, dude. I love that you brought that up because that is capturing what this is about is Wh can teach us or I should say what can teach us more about the seasons of our own life than nature. You look at a tree for example, like your poem that you wrote when you're a kid, A tree in the summer it's got green leaves. It's got animals that rely on it It's got fruit that everything feeds off of it provides shade And then as the season changed, it gets beautiful right before it dies And does the tree, for example, mourn the loss of its leaves? Does it mourn the loss that squirrels and animals started to abandon it because it no longer provided what it needed Now, we know that trees are wise enough because they know that they have to let go in order to welcome new growth into their life Why can't we accept those same types of lessons And so like I actually have a story like that in this book. Now imagine this is an era of life that we've never been in, but I know is coming When our kids no longer rely on us When we get older And they stop coming around just like the squirrel going to a tree How are we going to react to that? Wellill we understand that season of life? Will we miss this chaotic time in our life? And I know we will And so it's really all focused on remaining present even during the most stressful, painful, chaotic times in your life because one day you're going to miss it Yeah. You know, you write in the book about the gift of grief is a part. So for the listeners out there, you know, you just kind of walked into it, right? The wisdom of the nature around us for letting go so that they can regrow and have rebirth and move forward into bigger and new things Can you walk our listeners through as you look at this season of life for you and kind of where you're at in the grief process Why a gift of grief was something that you wanted to highlight? Yeah, well, the gift of grief was something I wrote on Instagram. It's actually not per se in the book, but I wrote about that mainly because Now that I mean, now that Lore has been gone for seven years One way that I've been able to make sense of grief instead of running from it instead of numbing it, instead of avoiding it is really to welcome it into my life to feel all of the you know, the emotions that around with it because it never goes away. It stays with you. It walks alongside new love and there is new growth and still memories of what was lost. And I remember having this thought that I loved everything that Lura gave me I loved the memories. I loveved James. I loveved how the fact I mean, we were together sixteen years since we were eighteen. and she built me in so many ways. So much of who I am today is just that relationship I had with her growing together And so She also gave me grief. because I loved her so much And so I have to love that too Just like all of those things. And we are all going to lose someone. That's the sad reality. And death and being a widow, it's kind of a taboo subject that peoplee dance around And I I do believe that we're at a time right now where we should start Normalizing it having those conversations, no one ever knows what to say And the truth is is that if you're out there trying to take care of somebody that's grieving, you don't have to say anything. You just have to show up. You just have to listen and the person who's going through will tell you Everything without even asking The obviously this book is you know, it's it's honoring Lura's life. And then also at the same time, it's meant for all of those out there who need maybe the push to have the conversation or to have the reminders of a story I'm sure at this point, James has walked through this book with you What was that process like? I mean For I'm just sitting here trying to put myself in your shoes and I really can't, but I'm thinking, okay, An adult could have a conversation with me when there's a loss in my life and I can handle it, right? I can walk through it in the way that I want to or need to or however. but when it comes to a kid, I would be nervous about having trying to explain it to them in a way that you know, helps them understand, but then also helps them move forward and helps them honor as well. So For you as a dad Doing this project and then presenting it to your son who I'm guessing was the motivation behind a lot of this. Yeah. What was that like It really came from the idea that I really didn't know how to start conversations and I put myself in his shoes as a kid And I never liked getting preached too The second I felt like my parents were interrogating me to figure out what's going on in my life What did we tell them? You know, how was your day? It was good. What did you do? nothing, How you feeling? I'm fine And it's those aren't the real conversations. And so That wasn't good enough for me as I know it's not good enough for a lot of parents. And so storytelling You I started I' actually made thirty five of these stories. James hand selected seven for the book Um, and They all tackle different things. Some of them are about letting go. some of them are about beginning again and the courage it takes. There's one story called The Tale of Two Streams, which is about T streams. that their entire life, they experperienced everything together. They ran in parallel. And then they hit an obstacle and were forced to go there separate ways And there was warning for both of them that they had to separate but each By separating, they were able to experience something individually something that they never would have been able to experience had they remained on that same path. So All of these components they have to do with grief, but a larger A larger theme is that it really has to do with growing up and also growing old. It's a book for children, it's a book for adults and doing this alongside James was just I mean Honestly, it was one of the most satisfying things I've ever done. I'm actually upset now that the creative process is finished and the baby is out in the world, it's like I just I wanted to just keep working on it forever. But he found it very, very peaceful. And again, it's meant to be a bridge. It doesn't lecture. It's meant to start conversations Have you ever felt this way, James? Have you ever known anybody that's felt this way? If someone was going through this, how would you help them And through those kind of questions, you'll figure out what the tr underlyining truth is. going on in their head and in their life Hydrate your skin up to ten layers deep from AM to PM with Ceravi. Facial moisturizing lototions. Start your day with AM Facial mooisturizing lotions, SPF fifty providing SPF fifty protection that blends in lightweight hydration that lasts. We love Ceravi around here. It is so great. in the morning Jared and I using the facial moisturizing lotion. It's got SBF fifty in it and it's lightweight and it blends in very nicely. it moisturizers throughout the day and it helps strengthen the skin barrier. anythingything that says strengthen the skin barrier. I love It provides twenty four hour hydration and then at night It's a great time to use the PM Facial mooisturizing lotion