Regulating Your Nervous System Through Systems

Welcome to the porn reboot podcast, where you get practical tips to gaining control over your porn or sex addiction. We help ambitious men end their out of control sexual behavior with pornography, sex and masturbation so that you can maximize your life, perform at your potential and remain in control in the driver's seat, which is where you have to be in order to gain or maintain the success I'm your host J K Mmazy, certified sex and porn addiction recovery Cach. Welcome to the episode Let's talk about why high achieving men struggle more than other men Let's start by removing a very comfortable myth from this conversation When you struggle with digital over stimulation, whether it is spending too much time on your phone a specific app pornography It's not really a sign of weakness in guys who are just not performing in life, guysu who are low performers It is actually proportionately common in men who are high achievers And that may be uncomfortable if you're a high achiever, but I see it all the time Just stay with me for a moment Average men don't operate under performance pressure You don't need to be under pressure all the time because you don't have that responsibility You do not carry the risk of running a business or managing a team You don't have a reputation to maintain or manage over time, constantly maintaining that image. You don't have to experience a specific type of decision fatigue And those of you who are high achievers understand that decision fatigued You are making highighly consequential decisions across multiple areas at once Sometimes But it's time my get to like Friday morning I'm hoping it's the weekend, but I know I'm going to work through the weekend But I've just made so many freaking decisions. It's insane. I'm exhausted from just making decisions where every single decision, I know if I fuck it up, I'm going to pay the price a few months down the line. And the price could be a price that I have to pay over a period of years treasure. The high stakes forces you to be able to manage your life in a certain way. If it isn't built internally through some sort of deliberate structure that you have Then guess what You are going to source it from somewhere and it is going to be sourced from something external, which provides the most relief. You know where I'm going with this Usually it's pornography Usually it's some sort of doom scrolling behavior, but you know, it's usually p Now this doesn't happen because you're weak. I want to make it clear When your brain is constantly under pressure to perform It is optimized regulate itself very quickly That is what it is designed to do Here is a system that most men have never been shown before. When you use pornography, right, it doesn't provide pleasure in any meaningful way What it does is that it provides these instant neurochemicals with No negotiation You don't need to be vulnerable. You don't need to be accountable You don't even need to recover from it. You just need to like Do what you need to do and you can keep moving It's actually the fastest available relief from internal pressure that you are dealing with. internal pressure from being a high achiever This is why pornography any sort of over stimuli with digital material. It is disproportionally attractive. to men who have the most responsibility in life Here's how it works if we have to talk about it as like a trade. You get these artificial spikes from whatever you're doing. You're just like you're moving from website to website or you're moving from you're opening multiple tabs, or you're going from genre to genre, just looking for the thing that's going to give you the most hits So all of these spikes increase the threshold Your brain requires to actually feel relief And that means that real intimacy It becomes muted. It just disappears. You cannot get it from your wife because Real intimacy doesn't have those multiple spikes. It is more consistent. Now the real work you're actually doing, remember, your work also has to produce dopamine That means that there needs to be achievement at the end of it It is like telling you like, okay, there's going to be achievement, there's going to be achievement. and then dopamine is released. Your actual work starts to feel worse. Because you fucked up your reward circuit rate. You've increased the intensity that is required for you to feel And experience that feeling of achievement in your regular work Let's put work aside and let's talk about your rest You never feel like you're well rested enough. because your nervous system Was he never designed down regulates Fr something so artificial, I'll say it again if you don't feel rested and you are crashing throughout the day after you've been binging on pornography that week It is because your nervous system was not designed. operate at such a high level from that artificial elevation. It's not designed for that So the higher you operate in life. the more responsibilities that you have the more expensive this problem becomes and you don't end up ever actually crashing You can't crash because you don't ever get enough rest. So you just end up plateauing in this weird place where you're not ever doing enough feeling enough Motivated enough resting enough or anything enough Now you're still performing literally, you're performing what you're supposed to do. You're not doing it, you're performing it But usually you're going to be performing at like Maybe seventy at your best to eighty percent of your actual capacity to the average person seventy to eighty percent at your level still looks like exceptional performance So You normalize it. You're the only person that knows you're not performing at the level you should And then you become a pro. I see you guys doing it, but those who know know You start explaining the fact that you're feeling you're acting a little bit dull or you're a little bit slower or you're just like,, it's just stress When you feel a little bit flat, you tell a story about it, right? that's what happened when you operated at this level, it's like really boring. You know, you're just doing the same thing over and over again and that's how you get to success. That's you just explaining it away So you start telling yourself, eventually, once you want you start lying to other people, you start lying to yourself You start telling yourself that this is what it's supposed to feel like carry the weights that you are carrying. But you and I know it isn't. because if there was no dopamine involved in our success and our growth and competition and being the best and providing a great service for other people, we would not do it You know that? This is what it feels like carry that weight with a completely distorted and messed up reward system That's running under the hood. You fucked it up So here's what changes when you decide to reboot and fix that First of all your ability to tolerate long stretches of effort is going to improve because your dopamine levels are going to get regulated again. It's not going to happen in a gradual way, but it's going to happen in a way that you can actually measure. Your emotional volatility, this is a big one freaking out, yelling at people, getting quickly irritated, not being able to sleep. Your wife is talking to you, you're like off on your phone, just like like, oh, it is a fucking disaster that I need to fucking deal with You stop doing that. It decreases your ability to make executive decisions returns to a place that you don't even you're not even going to recognize it. You have been living with this up way Let's just call it this flatness, this emptiness, this like, I don't know why I'm even doing this. I don't feel any enjoyment from it, that it started to feel normal So when you start making very clear executive decisions And you come back, you tell your wife, you tell whoever man I been have had a really good day. I actually didn't wantan to leave work because I was enjoying it so much You don't remember the last time that you even felt that way Now let's bring it back home to intimacy. The depth of your intimacy is going to increase because you are no longer desensitized. Your intimacy was there, but the desensitization goes. You know, when you want to grab your wife and you're just like, oh my Godd, why is she so cute? Why is she so fucking beautiful? Like I can't believe I'm with this woman. If you're not feeling that anymore, bro, you've been jerking off too much Again, I want to make it clear we're rebooting None of this shit is dramatic, okay It's just predictable? I'm telling you what will actually happen, but I'm not saying it's going to happen in a dramatic way where overnight you're going oh my Godd, it's amazing is just the same way you understand systems Systems don't recalibrate immediately So if something is broken in one of our systems, you know we have to make some changes here and there. Then you tell the team, all right, cool, let's let the system run for another week and let's kind of see the data that comes out of it That's literally how we do it here orn reboots. We are professionals. I have built systems, systems for recruiting. systems for sales, systems for recovery, systems for behavioral health, systems for managing money. Like that is what you have to do at a high level. and it's the same way I work with my clients and it works Perfectly brilliantly, predictably with individuals who understand the importance of having these systems. If you're a high achiever, you don't need fucking rehab You don't need to be given this identity, this label. you don't need to like make a public confession in a fucking group. You are not the same as normal people. So stop acting like normal people. stop going to these fucking normal people, coaches and groups You need to fix your nervous system the way a high achieverss nervous system is supposed to be fixed It's supposed to be applied to your life discreetly quietly in a structured way. you need to be supported by professionals who are also high performers. You need to work with someone who understand cost of operating at the level you are operating at. I want to make it clear, you are not broken You are, let's just call it yourour nervous system is dysregulated And we will help you regulate it Crection is the process called rebooting and it is built specifically for men who carry the weight of decision making and responsibility that you do If you are ready to seek help for this Go to the link in the description below this podcast episode an application for a call. It is a discrete call ever reaches out to you and you speak with is not a fucking random It is a person who has been through this program. It is a person who is a high performer themselves Most of our reboot strategists run six to seven figure businesses themselves P probably shouldn't be revealing this, but fucking that's the truth passionate about what we do here. And so they wants to work with high performers to get what they have received to click on the link Get on a call and let's teach you a system to regulate yourself I'm JK your brother in this struggle. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Porn Reboot podcast. I'll speak to you later on in the week If you found this episode helpful, here are four ways I can help you with your out of control sexual behavior for free. The first way is to grab a free copy of my book, Confessions of a porn A addict, Seven Secrets of porn Freeemen at elevatedrecovery. org or visit the link in the description below this episode. The second way is if you're not sure where to start, but you'd like to learn more about my team and I If you'd like to spend time with like minded professionals and business owners who are controlling their behavior, then join our free and confidential group, the Porn Reboot Group on Facebook. There's a link to join in the description below this episode. The third way is if you need help right now because you have a burning issue, your behavior with pornography is hurting you Mentally or emotionally, you're about to lose your relationship. you want to live up to your potential, be an authentic man and free yourself from shame, guilt, and underachieving. then click on the link in the description below this episode that says free coaching call. And the fourth way is to leave us a five star review if you enjoy this podcast that we can reach more men who are struggling in silence and bring back the lessons we learn from coaching them to freedom