Building a Legacy Through Personal Rebooting

Welcome to the porn reboot podcast, where you get practical tips to gaining control over your porn or sex addiction. We help ambitious men end their out of control sexual behavior with pornography, sex and masturbation so that you can maximize your life, perform at your potential and remain in control in the driver's seat, which is where you have to be in order to gain or maintain the success I'm your host, JK Amazy, certified sex and porn addiction Recovery Coach. Welcome to the episode I had a friend of mine I think he just turned fifty and I and my partner, we were visiting him and his wife in Florida And over dinner, they shared how they were unable to kids And we were talking about, you how they had made peace with it And he said he found it funny how people would always ask about his legacy. They're like, what's your legacy, bro? What's your legacy? he said What fuck do I need a legacy for? Who am I King Henry the fucking haste. And I found that hilarious. I don't even know if it's King Henry V or theII. I think it's the eighth and something about legacy. but We are all attached to this notion of legacy and it means different things to us. I have a notion of legacy And my legacy is What can I do for an individual human being? likeike one person to Even after I'm gone My work will still be work that they study and model themselves after There are a lot of people that I've modeled myself after that I no longer hear that I would have paid really good money. I would have done whatever to be in their presence if they were still alive I won't talk about them today, that's for another day. But today I want to talk about protecting your legacy in a digital age The definition of legacy has changed. It has shifted and a lot of guys have just not caught up to it See for most of recorded history, Legacy actually meant wealth transfer. you know, your assets, the business, the network, the name, you would transfer that to your kids So what a man built and passed down to the people who came after him was what was known as legacy And those things still matter, build them, keep building them But we are now in a digital slash AI age And legacy has acquired two additional dimensions. that didn't exist a generation ago And most men who are building for the long term are not accounting for that. The first is your digital footprint, that is the permanent record of your man's behavior that exists outside of your control. once it exists in the first place So men who have reputations, men who have public standing, men who have any sort of significance professional relationships are only one exposure event away. from legacy cononversations. that they did not choose to have. And I want to make it clear that that risk, it is not an abstract thing that I'm just kind of randomly bringing up It is a real thing and it is growing. The second thing is your' Nervous system and how it is modeled by other people. The way you operate internally and how that is modeled by your children That would be things like your habits, your lifestyle, your self image, your nervous system as well So your children are not watching the shit you say. They don't care about your yapping. They are watching your patterns, what you do. I was watching what was it? It was a trailer of a documentary about fathers and sons in Syria And this journalist, this documentarian had embedded himself in a Syrian community Oh what we would people would call terrorists, you know, one man's terrorists is another man's freedom fighter. And he was observing how their sons got radicalized very quickly And I'm probably going to watch the documentary If I remembered the name, I'll share it with you guys But basically from the trailer, What I could see was that he had lived with these people and filmed birth of their son how they not only spoke to their sons about becoming martyrs and being okay with death and becoming warriors and standing for something by also showed them in action So these boys watch their uncles dead from battles. They listened. by the fire lightight to their fathers, uncles, extended family and other soldiers talk about battles. They were present when traitors were shot or had their heads cut off. The children, the sons were brought out and they were like, watch this happen. watch what happens to people who are traitors And they watch these things. the habits The lifestyle the self image the nervous system, which means that they were observing feeling Like they were observing that, oh People are not experiencing fear or people are experiencing anger. People are desensitized to certain things. Now that's an extreme case That is something that's creating killers and warriors and a lot of pain This is the dimension of legacy That is The most invisible, yet the most consequential It is what your children are watching as your parents. And if you don't have children, I want you to think about your patterns today and how you may have picked that up from the men that you grew up around see A manandned nervous systemy is setting the emotional baseline of his home So his regulation or his lack of it It's not going to be communicated through words. It is communicated through the quality of your attention It is communicated through the range of your emotional response. It is communicated through the stability of your presence under pressure. See, when we go back to this documentary, there were a few clips, again, I didn't watch the whole thing. It was just literally the trailer was very engaging. There were clips where The family would be under attack and their village would be under attack and you wouldd see them move to another place. And each time these boys were observing their father his stability under literal gunfire. And there's no more intense pressure that a man faces in front of his children than in the face of imminent possible death They are watching your emotions They are watching how attentive you are and it also shows the attention that they were giving to their sons. So If stress regulation, regulating your stress depends on Private stimulation I'll say it again If for you, after I've mentioned all of these things, if for you, you need to regulate your stress with a phone in front of you jerking off on a toilet Private stimuli contradicts the values you open your mouth and you say it to your son then your leadership has a a danger in it. there's a fracture in your leadership Now The truth is that the public may never know about that Never but it's going to be felt. It is going to be felt in the lack of patience Like you're patient and then you snap a few beats before. You should have and people noticice that. Your children noticice that. Y family notice that in the attention that drifts when it should be present. People are going to notice that In your emotional range, which let me tell you this, your emotional range is going to narrow I'll give you guys an example. Men's emotional range narrows due to desensitization to a point that This's in ues that intimacy cues from your partner that you're not even going to register So we work with high achievers. Let me tell you one of the most challenging thing and why there are not many people that do what we do High achievers who are fucked up by pornography do not have patience to get on a phone or respond to an email or send a message anybody who iss trying to help them end this behavior because they are not even aware of what the fuck is happening to them That's why there's so many quote unquote, recovery coaches who have reached out to meanda like JK, how do you do what you do because these guys don't even want to fucking talk to us. We're on the phone with them for like two minutes and they just hang up on us. Yeah, that's because you're fucking around and their emotional range and their patience is shorter than it's ever been. But most importantly, I tell these coaches straight up It's probably because you don't have what it takes to work with a high achiever because you're not a high achiever You have to become a high achiever and you have to change your self image before you can work with these type of people But I just wanted to bring it up for those of you who are just like, ah man I'd love to work with Jay Kan. You need to be have a certain level of self awareness before you even fill out that application form. becausecause even our application form is designed I won't even tell what it's designed to do. So I'm not gonna talk about it. You can click on the link below the description and see what it's designed to do. But back to what I was saying, I digress, childildren calibrate themselves to their father's baseline Not to your father's words, not to your father's achievements, not to diversion of your father that he has been presenting publicly. Think about it. There was a time that you maybe you thought your father was the greatest if you had your father in your life But as you grew older you would then begin to reflect on your father. as you bec became an adult and you began to navigate other things in your life and you were like, you know what? Sky was just trying to figure shit out. And then all you would have to go on as you become an adult and you learn things and you look back to your father be it would be actually who he was and how he operated as a human Those are the only things you would remember Was he patience? How did he react or respond under stress and you will eith there feel disgust. disisappointments You will feel like that is something to live of too. You will remember that this is something that is within your blood and you're like, my father could do that shit, I can do it too. When fathers donon't have your habits, lifestyle or your self image together. and they cannot control their emotions because instead of facing what they need to face, they keep running to private stimuli. They create anxious children those anxious children and sometimes your wife is anxious, the mother is anxious too because You're not holding the space for her And she passes that anxiety onto her children some of you as men know exactly what I'm talking about. You never talked about the father part of it, but because you didn't have a father who had his shit together, your mom got all fucked up and she passed all those issues down to you. Not that she wanted to, but it was her way of protecting you Children by extraordinarily accurate detectors. between A man says he is and who he actually is in private Children are better than any coach or any accountability partner at that Now let's zoom out a little bit further Let's talk about pornography. let's talk about being addicted to social media. Let's talk about only fans. Let's talk about just being overstimulated digitally, addicted to certain things with AI All these are all of the most the easiest accessible vices. that ever existed in human history It's portable. It's right down your phone. It's private It's just normalized. You know, back in today They used to be a social sense or boundary or friction that held all of this in. constrained L like crazy levels of indulgence, right? visibility account bill. L you just you can just get access to pornography. You have to travel to get it. You can just open a porn store somewhere. peopleeople in the community would protest it. but all of those things that reduced indulgence that brought about accountability that had set community expectations, all of those things have been removed So that means that The men who are supposed to regulate this shit are becoming increasingly rare. I'm still talking about legacy. hear me now. Rarity, rare men, the room for rare men creates an advantage in markets and organizations and in the big rooms where leadership decisions are made That is where rare men are So the way to fix this Rebooting is what I call it, is not complex. What you're doing is if we use language that you can understand, we are auditing, your system in your life. When you come in The first thing we do is we run an audit on your life, habits, lifestyle, self image We are looking for the vulnerabilities in your life that make your out of control behavior available to you Like, why is it so easily accessible? Why do you keep slipping so easily? Th thenen we start woralking on your environment. We have to fix the environment so that you're experiencing at least some friction when it comes to accessing that behavior. We can't make it so easy for you to access And then we have to start moving your lifestyle back to a lifestyle. That actually makes sense The lifestyle has to match with your values. The lifestyle has to lead to anticipation The lifestyle has to match exactly who you are. and sometimes you've fucking forgotten how you know who you are, but youve forgotten How to have a lifestyle works for you That works for your goals, for your family, for your business, for your career And then we show you how to reinforce it. Well, I'll be honest with you, we reinforce it. And I'm very much a disciplinary when it comes to reinforcing it in your life You may not like me But in ninety days, you will turn to me and you' be like, you know what, you son up a bitch. I hate your fucking face I'm very thankful You forced me go back to a level. that I hadn't been in a long time I thought that I only visited this level once in a while. You showed me that I could operate at that level. And I'm okay with that. You don't need to make a fucking public confession You don't need to disclose shit all the time. You don't need a label You don't need to have this story that's like, I'm an addict, I'm forever an addict and I'm going to live it forever. We don't do that shit here We're just aligning you habits, lifestyle, self image or defining what your reboot is All of it is private, all of it is done in a structured way, and we are completing it. We are closing the loop. You are not leaving with any questions. You are done with this shit We are living in a world that is constantly escalating our stimuli. I can't even imagine what it iss going to look like just next year Like with what AI is doing, it's insane. The rebooted man is the man who is going to dominate quietly. You are going to be so rare You are going to be so rare. peoplee will not understand how you do it your brain compared to other people's will seem like a super compomputer because you don't need AI, you don't need a phone. Now don't get me wrong, you would have mastered all those tools. They put the phone in your hand, you know how to use AI, you know have how to do all of those things. but without it, you will operate in a way that most human beings have forgotten per And make no mistake, this way is not going to go extinct. This way will only be reserved for the elite among men in the years to come And you're not going to dominate by running your mouth and yapping about it What is going to happen is over the years Listen to me, this is exactly what's going to happen because it's what I and the men in my close network are doing too. Your advantages are going to compound the year over time operate as a rebooted man. And you start seeing all these advantages, financial advantages, advantages in investing, in marketing. You see advantages in organizations if you work a job, how to climb the ladder. As you enter rooms, you begin to see the vulnerabilities because everybody becomes more predictable as they become more attached to this over stimuli. and you create a legacy that you can pass down to your children that is a true legacy how to not only survive in this new age How to thrive We teach you cororn reboots How to get aligned across your habits, lifestyle, and self image We do it privately and we do it permanently Visit the link in the description below Get an undiagnostic call with one of our strategists who is also a rebooter. and let's see if we can do something together I'm JK, your brother in this struggle. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the porn reboot podcast. I'll speak to you later on in the week. If you found this episode helpful, here are four ways I can help you with your out of control sexual behavior for free. The first way is to grab a free copy of my book Cfessions of a porn addict, Seven seecrets of porn Freeemen at elevatedrecovery dot org or visit the link in the description below this episode The second way is if you're not sure where to start, but you'd like to learn more about my team and I, if you'd like to spend time with like minded professionals and business owners who are controlling their behavior, then join our free and confidential group, the Paorn Reboot group on Facebook. There's a link to join in the description below this episode. The third way is if you need help right now because you have a burning issue Your behavior with pornography is hurting you mentally or emotionally. You're about to lose your relationship, you want to live up to your potential, be an authentic man and free yourself from shame, guilt, and underachieving. Then click on the link in the description below this episode that says free coaching call. And the fourth way is to leave us a five star review if you enjoy this podcast that we can reach more men who are struggling in silence and bring back the lessons we learn from coaching them to freedom