Maintaining Family Connections from Abroad

Hello and welcome to the Thursday edition of the Romish Ranganathan Show every Thursday we chat about Mudley Celeb episode and answer your questions and dilemmas. Listen, we don't always get it right. And when we don't is made very clear in the comments, but we try our best, don't we, Mummy? Of course we do. Talking of which I'm joined by the Pod Mother. Oh , that sounds disgusting. Shot the Ranganathan and the team. And for those who've expressed any concern about them and suggesting I'm too mean, Mum has brought them a bump I have. Yeah. So they'll be happily snuffling them from their troughs . It's delicious. Thank you so much. A bit spicy today. They were a bit spicy too. What's funny, Robbie? Mum, you look absolutely delightful. Oh thank you. Coming from you. How are you? I'm fine, thank you. All brown. All brown. All brown. Now the podcast. Huh? Because we're both brown. Ah, yeah. Ranger Nathan Midmishanti This Episode is brought to you by Dear England on BBC I Player, the brand new fictionalised drama telling the story of Gareth Southgate as the England manager. From the moment he took over in 2016 right through to the tournament runs that had the whole country holding their breath. And before you think it's just a football show, it really isn't. At its heart, it's an underdog story about leadership, pressure, belief, and those moments we all live through together, whether we cared about football or not. Gareth Southgate, obviously, another son of Crawley , taking the England football team and changing the culture around them. We shared memes about him. We got excited. We had a belief in England that we didn't have before. He united the country. And we also got very excited about the potential comeback of the waistcoat. With the World Cup around the corner, it's never been a better time to remember those we all felt that moments. And maybe we will again dare to dream. Dear England, watch on BBCI Player . On Monday we had two of the Wayans brothers, Marlon and Sean, have just made Scary Movie. It's the sixth one, but it's not Scary Movie Sixth. Mom, do you like a scary movie? I do No, I think if I see somebody at the window when I'm losing up, I will I will have a heart attack. Yeah, I find that. And often if I'm in the park and somebody chases me with a knife I find it scary. You're in luck, Mom, because it's a parody movie. It's f it's taking the piss out. Not taking the piss, parodying. What's the title for that? Scary movie. No, the what's the name of the movie? Scary movie. Does it? Yeah. Scary movie. Where do I watch it? Uh you can watch it in the cinema. Uh Mum, would you like to go together? I love to. Yeah, let's go and watch it together. Okay. Uh now this is uh well w we're we're addressing listener not concerns but feedback. Some listeners think we swear too much and we often end up talking about shit or toilets. So the team had a fucking idea to elevate the fucking pod a bit. Make it a little bit highbrow. They suggested we talk a little bit of fucking philosophy. Mum, you up for that? I am. Okay. Okay, so this is a some philosophical questions I want you to think about this. Oh, okay. The idea that this first one is gonna go okay. It's gonna be great. This episode is brought to you by Dear England on BBC iPlayer, the brand new fictionalized drama telling the story of Gareth Southgate is the England manager. From the moment he took over in 2016 right through to the tournament runs that had the whole country holding their breath. And before you think it's just a football show, it really isn't. At its heart, it's an underdog story about leadership , pressure, belief, and those moments we all live through together, whether we cared about football or not. Gareth Southgate, obviously, another son of Crawley, taking the England football team and changing the culture around them. We shared memes about him, we got excited, we had a belief in England that we didn't have before, he united the country, and we also got very excited about the potential comeback of the waistcoat. With the World Cup around the corner, it's never been a better time to remember those we all felt that moments. And maybe we will again dare to dream. Dear England, watch on BBC iPlayer. This episode is brought to you by Alice and Steve, a new Hulu original series exclus ively on Disney Plus. My friendships are very important to me. My mates have stuck with me through thick and thin and dodgy sweater vests. I'm hard to offend, so they'd have to do something pretty bad to put our friendship in jeopardy. For example, if I saw one of my friends being rude to a member of serving staff, that would put it in jeopardy. If one of my friends thought that Tottenham potentially going down wasn't funny, that would jeopardize our friendship. But that is nothing compared to what goes down in Alice and Steve , a new six-part comedy series from the producers of Baby Reindeer, which can only be described as the ultimate Roncom. Alice and Steve are lifelong mates until Alice's adult daughter sleeps with Steve . Yeah. Unbelievable. Pretty difficult for a friendship to recover from. I'm not speaking from experience, but I'm saying I can imagine. Obviously that blows everything up, and their friendship is tested to the absolute max. Starring Nicola Walker and Jermaine Clement, it's a hilariously messy and complicated exploration of friendship, family and love where best friends make the best enemies. Alice and Steve, a new Hulu original series streaming eighth of June exclusively on Disney Plus . Okay, mum, I'm gonna say this slowly. Just listen carefully, okay? Mm-hmm. Imagine you've got a ship. Yeah. Over time bits of the ship break. Mm-hmm . Over time bits of the ship break, so you replace them. One plank at a time. Plank here, take it off and replace it. Eventually every single bit of the ship has been replaced. My question to you is is it still the same ship? No . Why ? Because they repaired it. If the mirror broken, you put the mirror back. It's not the same, is it? So So it go it worked on the same thing. Okay, but if the ship was called if the ship was called HMS Shanti and you replaced all the parts, that ship is still referred to as HMS Shanti, isn't it? The name? Yeah. But nobody knows they repaired it. Yeah. So but that's still so that's still the same ship, isn't it? The same ship. I don't I don't know whether it will fun function as the this you know, properly. I don't know. Okay. Uh what about if you so is your kitchen your kitchen? Yeah. What if we took every part of that kitchen and we took it out and we replaced it with a more expensive part that your son paid for? Just hypothetically. Why do you have to say son paid for? I'm just saying it in it's just part of the Once or twice is enough. Okay. This is like a violin. Okay. The sun paid for. Alright. The sun paid for. Yeah. So is that the same kitchen ? No, it won't be. It won't be. But it's still your kitchen, isn't it? It's my kitchen. Yeah. So if it But it will look there's maybe something different, the colour, you know, won't match and it's No. It's not the same kitchen. It's not the same kitchen, no. But if you swap just one part of a kitchen, is it your kitchen? Of course it's my kitchen. Okay. Two parts? No. This only really works if we know how many parts. It's okay. 20% of the kitchen is swapped? I last them to see the whole running team. Okay. Yeah, once you change 20%, that's the old rule with kitchens. Once you change 20%, change the whole lot. Yeah. Yeah. Uh what if you replaced me what if I I r changed my whole face and then they replaced my arm and then replaced my other arm and then replaced my torso and replaced my you know, the other stuff. Um am I still the same person? No. You're a robot. I'm not a Yeah . You can't buy exactly the same Okay. How about this one that this is a different slightly trickier one to say if there was um a list . Pardon? Say if there was a list. List. Okay. And somebody says they completed the list. Yeah. But somebody else has helped them with every part of the list. This is bullshit. I know what you are getting at. Well I'm getting no I'm saying this is a philosophical thing. You know what I I learn from you and your brother's conversation. What? Mummy's a dumb idiot. Yeah. If you believed in me that she will be able to do it. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about I'm saying for this question. Why why it has to be list ? You could have talked spoken about something else. Alright, fine. Uh it goes in your head. How the fuck she uh uh made the list ? You didn't have any belief in me that mom can do it.. Alright, okay That I you don't have to say from your actions, I know you think I'm a dumb idiot. I don't think you're a dumb idiot. Even if you w needed help for the list, it doesn't make you a dumb idiot. Everybody needs sometimes help . But I did my list. Okay. On your own with no help. Yeah . And when we talk about the list, we're referencing the Christmas special episode. Yeah, go if you want to find out what the list is about and fuck knows why you'd want to, go to the Christmas app where we discuss it. Okay. There's a list of items that Ben helped Mum with not help. Ben did n't help. For God's sake, don't blame Ben. Honestly God, he didn't help. But somebody did help you. Going around in circle. You are becoming like a lawyer. The lawyer to find the culprit so many different ways they ask questions. Right. It happened last Christmas. Yeah. Why is it bothering you? Last Christmas I gave you a list and Ben helped me but you won't admit Okay. Uh that was the first question. That was philosophy Uh that was a famous philosophical idea called the ship of the ship of it. Yeah, Thaddeus is one of the fucking Chipandales, isn't that? Yeah, it would be the ship of Theseus, wouldn't it? Yeah. That's called the Ship of These us, where like the bits are removed and da da da. You know what I mean? It's good to do philosophy, isn't it? They did it in OnlyFools and Horses too, didn't they, with Trigger's Broom. Same same philosophy. Trigger's Broom, they replaced the broom. That was good, wasn't it? I thought it was interesting. Yeah, it was interesting, yeah. Yeah. I hope that helps people like a little bit of learning. Do you know what I mean? I like to learn. Yeah. If I come and tell you for me, I like to learn about this. Will you help me? Yeah, of course I will. Oh, what's wrong? Who is that, Ben? No, I have to have answer it. I have to have it's a commissioner TLC. I have to because why play the I play the clips. Yeah. I have to have the sound on. Okay. So that's why that was on. Okay. I'm not having a go at that. I just I felt bad, but that was the reasoning. Okay. That's that's a legitimate. Yeah, that's fine. And I I think Will, you're happy with that, aren't you? I'm fine with that. Yeah, John, you're happy with that? Yeah, I'll sign that off. Mum, you're happy with that? I'm always happy. Yeah. Really good, Ben. Well that's okay. Shanthi, what have you out of the things that you've learned, is there anything that you've lear Uh um the list too yeah, I I do it now. Normally when I want to write a list I take a piece of paper. Now I do it on my phone. So that helps me. Yeah. And the appointment I learned to put on the the date. Yeah. Uh you know, the week I what I have . I'm trying to learn but But I uh I'm successful. Yeah. But I want to learn more. Got ya. More and more. Every week some new thing. What would you like to learn next? How to hit you. No, what do you really want to learn next? Uh it doesn't come in my mind. Would you like to learn how to book holidays? How to book holidays. Yeah. Where did you want to go on holiday? I want to go to Greek Island. Which Greek Island? The one you went . Is it expensive? Yeah. Oh you didn't do did you put your mum on rare yet? Did you set that up or not? No, I've not set it up yet because I didn't know I didn't f know how comfortable she felt about it actually. I don't mind. I can talk to any guys. No problem at all. Do you want to go on Raya then? I'll set you up a Raya property. Yeah yeah yeah. I mean I could smell it if he's a bastard. How can we smell it? The way he talks. Yeah. Uh it's time for audience interaction. Thank you so much for your messages and voice notes. They are brilliant. We really love them. Yeah. We can't get back to everyone individually, but we do read them all, don't we, Ben? Obviously, I don't personally. We do. Yeah. You should read as well for me. Well all of them. Why not? I mean uh you always on the phone and c laptop take it. Uh just read it . I can add it to your um mail account so then it comes in. It helps you afford it. When you talk about things that thing will help you. What? Emails from the emails of course. Of course customers. It's a kind of respecting them. You read it. I don't feel the need to do that. Now do you want to read them? Do you want to read them? I love to read them. Okay, well can we add them to Mum's thing then? I will read everything then I'll tell him. All right. I'd love to get that summary. This one I wasn't really sure what he was uh saying, but is something about uh I really don't talk like that from H the next one is from a guy, Philip. He said I'm wonderful, natural, f funny and uh he called me Auntie Shanti and he said uh he loves me. The next one I a lot of the emails are just I gotta be honest with you, Rami, a lot of it is just the I'm the reason they listen to the Oh, you have read them ROM. This episode is brought to you by Alice and Steve, a new Hulu original series exclusively on Disney Plus. My friendships are very important to me. My mates have stuck with me through thick and thin and dodgy sweater vests. I'm hard to offend, so they'd have to do something pretty bad to put our friendship in jeopardy. For example, if I saw one of my friends being rude to a member of serving staff, that would put it in jeopardy. If one of my friends thought that Tottenham potentially going down wasn't funny, that would jeopardize our friendship. But that is nothing compared to what goes down in Alice and Steve, a new six-part comedy series from the producers of Baby Reindeer, which can only be described as the ultimate rom com. Alice and Steve are lifelong mates until Alice's adult daughter sleeps with Steve.. Yeah Unbelievable. Pretty difficult for a friendship to recover from. I'm not speaking from experience, but I'm saying I can imagine. Obviously, that blows everything up, and their friendship is tested to the absolute max. Starring Nicola Walker and Jermaine Clement, it's a hilariously messy and complicated exploration of friendship, family, and love where best friends make the best enemies. Alice and Steve, a new Hula Original series, exclusively on Disney Plus. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. A reminder that you can always text on WhatsApp us on 07731623355, or you can email podcast at rangami.com. That is podcast at rangamy .com. Okay, we've got a voice note from Emily and Charlie. Hi, Romish and Shandy. I'm Emily. And I'm Charlie. And we adore listening to you guys every week without fail. We never miss an episode. Oh, thank you. We think you guys are such an amazing duo. One of you is a true national treasure. A comedic genius, your stylish, hilarious, one of our favourite personalities to ever grace the screen. And the other one is Romesh Rangan. What is your love language? Let's have a reload on that one. A comedic genius, you're stylish, hilarious, and one of our favourite personalities to ever grace the screen. And the other one is Ramesh Ranganathan. What is your love language? We'd love to find out. Why don't they say fuck you? Okay, let's go. Come on. What is your love language? We'd love to find out. Bye . Bye. Okay. Um are there a couple? Yeah. Yeah. First of all, hope you break up. And I also hope it's not amicable. No, Emily and Charlie, thank you so much for your voice note. Yeah. Um this is a good question. It's something Lisa and I've talked about quite a lot because I think my love language is is sort of um is is jokes and stuff and uh and being affectionate and, you know like a lot of chat, you know, I think verbally I uh you know, I like to uh express my feelings to Lisa and stuff like that. Whereas I I think that her love language, I think they call it um well I think it's like she likes doing you know, she likes to show she cares by doing you know, like if I mention that I like a particular thing, even in light conversation, I go, I I really love this serial or whatever. I'll say it in a throwaway thing. It will be there the next like she'll remember and get it. Do you know what I mean? So like and that's the way that so she's not as I wouldn't say she's as uh extroverted with it in the way that she talks and stuff like that, but she so we I think we do have different she's so Yeah, in her actions. Whereas I say a lot and deliver nothing. As a g mother in law, I think she's so lucky for you since you started you know, after then. smash it That it helped you so much. And she got to know you when you you were not popular that time. I wasn't popular, but I I I was at the start of my friends though. Did you have friends at that point? Yeah, like yeah, but like both of them. Yeah, yeah. But she waited very patient. Yeah. Yeah. And when you she told me it takes so long to, you know, get into this media. So she understood because she is a drama teacher. Yeah. Doesn't come just like that. So in that matter I do like her th and she's luck Uh what's your love language, Mum? Love language cooking and for if I like somebody, love somebody, I will cook whatever they like to eat that they I believe they call it acts of service, don't they? Yeah, that is. And uh whatever they 're what are the what are the love languages? Can we look it up? Yeah. Physical touch. Oh there you go. That's what I meant. Yeah. And there's another one . So these are all acts you can I actually don't know much about this. This is all acts you can do. No, this is like what your favorite so in terms of like how you show your love to your partner. Quality time. It's your default you know, how you physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts. Receiving gifts feels like a good one. Words of affirmation, quality time. So I'm a w I I'm a words of affirmation guy . I know but this is I'm talking about receiving not deliver I'm talking about delivering not receiving. Because you have different love languages for both. Yeah . I think words of affirmation is what I deliver and then a lot of physical touch. Like loads . Um yeah I don't know what I like to I don't know what I I like to receive. I don't know. What's yours one? What do you like out of those? Yeah, make sure that whatever they need . You do that and look after them. Uh if you are going out or you are living together, uh that for example prescription, you collect it and make sure everything is in order. Yeah. Um make their life comfortable. Yeah. So and the food uh is important. Yeah. And I think what's important to remember is after the initial kind of romance phase, yeah, you are just gonna settle on being friends. That's it. Yeah, yeah. Essentially the relationship will be a husk . But don't think that you can get better elsewhere because it will just be fun for a little bit, then that will decay. That will die down. And then you'll be down. Yeah. And actually you know, the whole idea that you're lovey dovey and it's gonna be magical forever is a fallacy . And the people believing that is part of the reason that so many relationships break up. Um I think Chanchi was describing acts of service. Yeah. Right, yes, she was, yeah, sorry. Ah, there you are. And I was describing the husk that can be left behind where the relationship inevitably decays. Same person. Same person, but they want to get hold of me. So you didn't busy at the moment. No. What's stupid is I could have put up mute straight after the message, yeah. Sorry. Don't be hard on yourself, man. You're doing really great. Thanks I appreciate it. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry, Will. I'm sorry, Shanti. I'm sorry, John. It's okay. No, it's okay. We've there's nothing to forgive. There's nothing to apologise for, there's nothing to forgive. Words of affirmation. Yeah, there you go. And I'm doing acts of service. In what way ? You won't be able to see but Ben is trying to do some sort of mime. Yeah sure . This episode is brought to you by Lidl, as any good vegan or plant-based don knows. Uh it's very difficult to find good vegan food at good prices. There's a little bit of a vegan tax going on. You go and find the thing that you're after. For example, you look for some vegan sausages, and suddenly the vegan sausages are much more expensive than regular meat sausages, which I think is an absolute travesty. Shopping for a family means you have to search high and low for quality vegan food. You know the drill. I'm trying to convince my children to be more plant based. You want good quality vegan food so they're not rinsing you at the dinner table. Yeah? It can be embarrassing if you say this is really good and then they taste it and they say it tastes like you found it, right? It's a big problem. You also have to make sure you're g theett stinguff that meets the dietary needs and pickiness of the whole family. One of our children, for example, only eats three things, and one of those three things he won't eat if it's the wrong colour. Thankfully, your saviour in this exact situation is none other than Lidl. If you're always searching for those plant-based goodies, Lidl has got you covered with a whole assortment of fruit and veg, plus your Linda McCartney burgers, corn sausages, and nuggets. I nearly said nuggies. They haven't forgotten the kids either with everything from mini baby bells to fresh fruit smoothies and freezer favourites for fussy eaters. And that is alliteration. Nail the weekly shopping for the whole house at little . Little more to value. Shanty, what about your your love language that you receive? Because you said that you you would do a lot of acts of service. Would that be the same? Would your love language be? The first twenty years and he used to buy when he goes out on work ing trip, he will bring so many expensive presents. He was a good man. I love receiving presents. Yeah, Ma you're th I'm gonna tell you now, that is Mum's love language. Uh uh I love it. That is your favorite. It's true. Yeah, my husband used to bring a lot of stuff. And uh he used to help me with cooking and everything and he used to come on time uh to see the children. But when he reached forty That's when you get horny . What? So anything moves he jum ps. Right, that was the bad the bad behavior. Something gone wrong or and uh anybody that it doesn't matter whether they are thin or thick or horrible. Only thing he needs fuck, that's it . It's very I guess my service is like just bringing us all here together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How have you brought us all together. Well I'm the linchpin, aren't I, between all of us. You are not the fucking linchpin . But you are you're barely a pin. Christmas time, you asked me. Christmas time. Yeah, listen, you talk about lynch. I can tell you. You ask me, what do you want for your birth for Christmas? Yeah. If I sell Rolex, you would have body for? Yeah. Wow, I missed a lot. Oh my god. Yeah. We could oh we could do that. But I'm not but I d the only my only thing with that is if you really wanted a Rolex, right? They're fucking expensive. If you really wanted one, if I thought you really wanted one and you that was something you were ho like you Yeah. Like like no no no no no but just hear me out a second. I what I don't like is people asking for things just on a f a whim because they fancy it in that moment. So y if you really want a Rolex and it's something you like, then I'll consider buying it for you. But if you just go I want a Rolex because you've heard the word Rolex and it's expensive. Have you seen a Rolex you like? I have. I have. I have. I Linesh took me. Now we have You know what? Let's talk we need to get Dinesh back for an episode. Because you can't I'll be honest with you. Gone. Did they say to me? I have got so much jewelry, darling. So many necklaces . None of them are going to wear it after I am gone. Because it's o those type of jewelry nobody wears. Dinay said to me, Collect all those jewelry, I'll take you to the jewelers and we evaluate how much is going to come and we'll go and buy the uh Rolex. I'll take you to Hosham or whatever shop you you I think Dinesh's love language might be inheritance. How about you trade it up for a Rolex that maybe after you go we can do something with? Let's g l It's unbelievable. That's horrible thing to say about your brother. What model did you want, Shanti? I don't know uh any uh much about uh that uh thing but when I look at it, I by the way, just so you know, hold on, Ben right now. Is he's got a s he genuinely is aroused. 'Cause he's a watch guy. He's got very excited. Yeah. He's now Googling it straight. Ben, I will I will but let me sell all my jewelry, uh everything going. Yeah jewelry because my granddaughter is not going to wear no the my daughter grandson's girls are not going to wear it it Yeah, okay. Rather than being a little bit I mean I know that the podcast is supposed to be natural, but this feels like some admin that you could do afterwards, right? I just wanted to Are we now on the podcast, you're Googling watches for Mum to Have a Look at. It's fucking insane. Can we make some concession to the fact there's an audience to this? Like, I literally cannot fucking believe it's happening. Rommy, you like I know that I know the lines are blurred between it's like a behind you know you're looking. This is crazy. You're you're what were you thinking? You're then gonna get your laptop and show mum some what do it afterwards. Fucking hell yes, you are I can do they say they say the best podcast feel like when you've just been dropped into a room just to fly around. Because of the podcast. We are all together. Exactly. Quality time. Quality time. I I pressure this. Otherwise I won't see you, man. Mom. Yeah. Please, we cannot go down this road again . This episode is brought to you by Virgin Red. Now the team had a question for me this week. Rom, I just got back from a trip of a lifetime to Egypt. It was my first time. I didn't know what to expect, and honestly, it was one of those trips that just completely blow you away. The food, the streets, the people. I came back a completely different person, and I thought, you talk about places you want to go all the time, so what's actually stopping you? Uh well that is true, Will. I've got a long list of places I want to go and I always talk about going to them and always I talk about them like it's actually happening. Uh you know there,'s so many times I've thought about booking places that I actually think I know enough about them that I could actually report back as if I visited. But every time you do go, when you just like take the plunge and go for it, you always come back from a trip thinking, I'm so glad I did it. Why did I delay that for so long? This is an incredible experience. It's something I'm going to talk about forever, and certainly will even ideally alongside a slideshow or something. Um and so I'm always I never regret going. And I wish I did it more. Thankfully, virgin points build up from everyday spending. Food shopping, clothes, train travel, stuff you're already doing. And those points unlock real trips, hotel stays, flights, experiences. The list doesn't have to stay a list. One destination already closer than you think. Virgin Red means go. If you've been meaning to actually go somewhere, Virgin Red is how you finally go. Ready to dive in? Become a member and, start unlocking rewards that make life feel a little more epic. Go on holiday with me, Ron? No . Okay, we got another email. And Ben will show you some Rolexes afterwards. This is from Cecilia. Hi Ramesh and Shanti. I would like some of your brilliant advice. I'm a 33 year old student at university, so naturally around ten years older than most of my classmates. I decided to return to university after wanting to try something different career-wise. I try and go to some student parties and even joined an association, but I constantly have this underlying sense of not enjoying it and feeling too old. Should I keep trying to be social and hope that eventually I'll enjoy some aspects of it. Or is it okay to only come to university for the lectures but then spend the rest of the time doing what I want to do? Sometimes I feel like age doesn't matter, but then other times I feel like there's a huge age difference between 23 years of age and thirty-three years of age. Thanks a lot in advance regards Cecilia. Mum what do you think? If she likes social ising, she should get a friend at her age like her, um and uh enjoy life. I mean if she spends another ten years, she'll be forty one. She's thirty three, is that right? Ah okay. Okay. What is she going to gain by qualifying herself more and more. Mum , the question she's not gonna go back again. Twenty-year and thirty-one year old. It's a big gap, darling. Yeah. It's ten years. And she won't enjoy. She won't enjoy their company . You you are dating a 16 year old girl Mom, Mom, I told you this is a good thing , listen. Sorry, girl. What? Say fifty year old man going on with the six if he asked Mum, this is such a you want to watch he will say Winnie the Pooh. Who what sixteen year old is watching Winnie the Pooh? Whatever. Whatever. I don't know. Sixteen year olds. You have to you have to Winnie the Po e. Your fucking age perception is wild. Yeah. She should mix with her own pe own age people and enjoy life find a way of enjoying life what she likes. Oh I'm going to uni for another ten years, get fucking old. Mum she's not been there for the whole ten years. She's did it when she she's she's been working or whatever she's been doing and then she decided to change direction. Why is she changing direction? I've got the same information you have. She must have a reason. That's what it is. She's gone back to university. That's right. Yeah, I've been. She's gone back to university because she fancies somebody there and she decided to do a course. Yeah, oh I mean to get it. Okay, so Celia, uh I I I don't want to say to you, I think my mum's high or something. I I don't know why she first of all what I would say to you is congratulations on going back to university. It's a very it's a very brave thing to do because a lot of people get stuck in a thing and they go, This is my life now. And it's actually you get an inertia. So for you to make the decision to change direction and try something new is actually really, really impressive and admirable. So, first of all, congratul ations on that. It's actually something I did because I was a teacher up until I was uh 30 30 years old, and then I decided to start doing comedy, and I had the same situation that you did. I was 10 years older than everybody else. I was in the comedy competitions. And contrary what my mum believes, it wasn't because I fancied somebody that was in comedy. It was just because I wanted to start doing comedy. And you do feel self-conscious because he never been doing uni before. I don't know, mum.. Again It's a bit difficult question to answer. Well, I'm trying to answer it. I'm trying I'm in the middle of giving it a pretty good go . So you do feel self-conscious because you're ten years older than these people. And also I was in a different stage in my life. They're all like getting on it and I just ta I'd I'd had kids at a a kid at that point. So it is you are self conscious about that. I would say to you first of all it's in your head more than it is anybody else's. I I I think yes mum. You are you are a you are a match teacher. If it comes out from you that advice, I am out. Okay ? Okay. This is so bizarre. You now seem to think you're on Dragon's Den . Your behavior during this lesson this answer has been fucking wild. Look, the truth is, it's in your your age difference is in your head more than it is in anybody else's, right? I think the you make your choice. I don't think I think you are in a different place in your life to people who are twenty-three. When you're twenty-three, you just want to be out all the time and so much of your identity is caught up in the the times you're having and going out and stuff like that. And some people are still like that at 33, but it sounds like you're not. Like you're finding it a bit. So I think you want to find the middle ground. I think you spend some nights hanging out with the people so you don't feel excluded from the people that you're studying with. And then other times, you can just go do your own thing. You know? The truth is, it's completely in your hands. Do whatever you want. You should not feel any external pressure from anybody else to do anything. Do exactly what you want. And if you're worried in your head that these people that the twenty three year olds are on your course are going, oh she's not socializing very much and so what? Like let them think that so much so much of our life decisions are based on what other peop what we think other people's perceptions of our uh us are and stuff like that. It's just you become so much happier when you shake all that shit. Do you I mean when you stop worrying about uh what uh people on your course are thinking about you, what you stop worrying about what people you don't know think about you, when you stop worrying about uh what an elderly Asian woman on a podcast is thinking about you. Do you know I mean it it these are the things you need to just let go. What I'm saying I'm giving it a hypothetical. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is it's taken us three quarters of an hour to get here, but do exactly what you want to do. And congratulations on making a a call. Congratulations. If you are going to study hard, why does it bother her? Oh twenty year old is not mixing with me. She didn't say that. That's what she's worried about. The age gap. Let's go back to the can we go back to the email? She feels too old. Should I keep trying to be social and hope that I'll eventually enjoy some aspects of it? Genuinely you're going there to study. Yeah. Why are you worried about your age? You can study when you are six sixty, seventy. Don't worry about other people what they are doing. Just concentrate but do when you're weirdly we're sort of agreeing with each other. It's been an incredibly spiky w journey, but we do agree, yeah. Do what you want to do. That will distract uh Okay, now we get to the crux. Now we get to the crux of the matter. You should not be thinking about anything but study. Study. It's true. Okay. So that's now I understand where uh now it's taken a while, but I get it. Basically my mum thinks that you should not be thinking about anything apart from so if you're gonna go back ten years later and study why are you thinking about socialising? Is that your problem, is Yeah, don't have any fun. Okay. Oh we got Victoria. How's it going? Shanti . Thanks for your time and uh I really love the show. I tried to send an email since last week. Uh you guys said that you didn't get emails, but didn't get chosen. Thank you very much. So my question is I have the same issue you have with your mot her in the fact that I am the one who does all the effort and the communicating and my mother does not reciprocate. I call her all the time. I try to keep her up to date as I am abroad. I live in Spain. I'm from Kenya. And we try to keep in touch. And recently it's completely gone off because I've stopped putting in the effort. So I'd love to hear exactly what you think Romesh is the best solution? And I'd love to hear Shanti's um take on exactly what's going on, because we often get labeled as sons who do not put in effort. Yet here I am putting in effort with no actual results. Thank you very much. I fear you cush . Yeah. No mom, what's your advice on this? I feel sorry for him. He's a good son. He's trying to keep in touch with the mother and she's not appreciating. But in my case it's totally different. You are a busy man. Yeah. And I keep on calling you. I don't mind, I don't mind. Mother's feelings are different to the children. Uh but I feel sorry for him. I can almost guarantee that we see each other more than most people. But I I'm I'm almost certain that we talk to each other more than a lot of people. Do you think so? Yeah . I do. In my experience of talking to people . I think we chat to each other loads more than most than a lot. I think you're underestimating how much we interact with each other. Okay . Doesn't sound like you agree. Yeah, I don't want to be horrible to you all the time. I would love for you to follow that instinct. Okay. Um Cush, I've got some advice for you. I think first of all, I think it's a very sweet thing that you're wanting to keep in touch with your mum. It's a great thing, and family's important, and I think it's a it's a great thing you're doing. Um I think you need to let go of your attachment to who it is that instigates the contact. Your mum is not being as good as you'd like at keeping in con tact with you and the only way you keep in contact is by you contacting her. Who cares? And what I mean by that is what do you want the I often think that a way to solve a problem or the way to think about a problem is what do you want the result to be? And you what you want the result to be is that you speak to your mum and keep in touch with your mum. Now, if you don't contact your mum, she won't contact you and so you don't speak to your mum. But if you contact her, you will keep in contact with her and you will speak to her. So it feels obvious to me that you need to continue getting in touch with your mum. And I know that like you're saying, well, it's always me that instigates it, then it's always you that instigates it. Then but you are speaking to your mum and keeping touch with your mum. That you're hung up on who is making the initial reach out when actually you're not trying to you know, this is not a school keeping exercise. This is an exercise of being close to your mum and you know that you can guarantee that by calling her. So that's what you should do. That's my advice to you. Yeah. I M H O. What do you think, mum of that advice? He sounds like a lovely guy, doesn't he? Of course. Sound like a great guy. I mean he loves his mother. He likes to be in touch, but some mothers when oh now you are calling me I don't talk to you like that. No you don't. I don't. No. I always talk to you nicely. Yeah you're never right. Hello darling how about you? Uh yeah. Yeah. Did I ever say Oh I don't want to talk to you, you didn't call me no but in if I can play devil's advocate you have said on more than one occasion I will kill you. I will kill you, even now I'm saying. Okay, hope that helps Cush. Okay, thank you so much everybody. Mom, awesome work today. High five. We'll be back on Monday with another exciting guest. See you later. Do you want to say bye mum? Yeah. Love you all and bye everybody. Please watch our program and I'm so thrilled that we won the badge from YouTube and be kind to us and support us. Love you all. Have a good day and good holiday. Thank you so much for listening, guys. Wrap your tongue round the bull bag. Peace out, bitch Bye Mr. Ranganathan Yo, thanks for watching and listening to the Romish Ranganathan show. Sup y'all. It's genuinely lovely that so many of you keep coming back. But I'm hearing rumors , nay, hearsay, and conjecture that some of you haven't subscribed yet. If you haven't, now's the time. Follow the show wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss episodes. We've got new episodes every Monday and Thursday. Monda ys are big guest conversations where we talk about what they're up to and have a laugh. And Thursdays are me and my mum Shanti