Sam Smith and Final Thoughts

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Flexible fits move naturally with your swing Our fabrics workick sweat and block UVs for hours in the sun And refined cuts carry you well into the nineteenth pole Shop golf gear in stores and online at lululemon. com It one cruny bite of her Hershey's Cookies and creream bar and I' taken right back to college Moving day. I was a little overwhelmed by the newness of it all. Bxes were everywhere, I needed a break from unpacking. But just as I was able to take a breath and open my Hershey's Cookies and creream bar, m roommate Rachel walked in I offered her a piece, but she said no Then after a beech, she said, actuallyually, those are my favorite ones We left The ice was broken and we've been friends ever since Hershey's It's your happy place Jacob, before this episode start, I want to talk to you about a little service called carvertical dot com d I think you've heard of it. What is carvert Carverticicalot com is basically a vehicle report service. It takes records, nine hundred records, thirty different countries. It can tell you all sorts of things about a used car that you're buying, whether it's been in an accident, it's accident history. It's a domometer report, all of that good stuffuff stuff Theft stuff as well, all of that good stuff. Okay. And the reason you might need carvertle. com. is because if you're buying a car, the seller might forget to tell you something. I've heard about this down just quickly. If people were to use car vertical. com and into to screenwrit, check out, wouldould anything happen? Yeah, they'd get twenty percent off this service. Right. And have you had any history of something like this happening to you? Well, I had a mate, right? My mate, he was buying a new car. and he found this guy online guy was really nice and he was like, yeah, it's the perfect cary. He's a family car. You put a couple of kids in the back. My mate has a look At the vehicle report using carvertical dot com It's been in a front on collision. joking me? Yeah, Seller had just forgotten to mention it. Now, sadly, my mate at the time did not know that if you go to carvertical d. com forward slash screenroot and use the code screenwrer checkout, you're gonna to get twenty percent off. I mean, car vertical is already onlying the price of a couple of coffees, but if it't ended screenwriteer checkout, it wouldve got twenty percent off. Exactly. So he had a good deal with carvertical.ot com anyway listeners using the code screenot. using the code sccreenroot at carvertical.ot com will get an even better deal. and for the price of a couple of coffees a month, they're going to get peace of mind that the car they're about to buy is Kosher. The thing is thousands of people listen to this podcast, The chances are some of you are probably in the market for a new car. Yes. It makes sense for you to spend not much money at all. You can get a discount on it now and to check the vehicle history. But by doing so also help support this podcast. So if you're shopping for a car, go car vertle d. com for us our screenroll, get twenty percent of car Vverle. Hel us to help you. carVverical d. com back Young man with a wise heart Big girl with a chest What is it all for Maybe just sex with the screen root podcast, the podcast where we discuss the weirdest and worst content that's been rotting our screens and indeed Wow. to everyone who listens to this podcast on either Apple, YouTube or Spotify. If youd leave us nice views on Apple, if you subscribe to us on YouTube, you really help us out, but not as much help as we get from our patreons. Yes, people pay for this shit. There are freemasons on free pound nine nine ath less than aquid a week, get extra episod just like this As a guarantee every single week the film epode on top of that What's the other thing? Oh yeah,re Rb by the live stam that we do we get to ch it to us Also on top of that, there's the aluminar a fifty people more than that they get a free h out in their heads and they're in free weird group chats. Chat to Eugene runs our Twitter account. S my God. And if they're not too fucking busy, if they're not too busy and in a bit of a hurry, big winky winky big kizy, kizzy Ma to ladies and queer zos who listen who I can confirm the most gorgeous ladies and queers in the United Kingdom. They're busy little fuckers, but they're gorgeous and I'm here as always with Jake Farrell. I mean, that's easily the most disgusting thingong you've ever done the top Do you know who it is? No, I don't Frank with an E. Oh, who we spoke about in the Patreon episode recently. a wonderful singer songwriter doing some very strange music. that the instrument was done by AI. the vocals probably would be better if they were done by AI but they're done by Fank. We cover them on Patreon. J just quickly before we start, Patreon's the fucking place to be with this. You're gonna notice that there's a few more adverts in these episodes nowadays. Sorry, guys, we've got things to pay for Jake's wife is addicted to tapS. My children are addicted to things like shoes. Get fucking rid of them. giveive us less of the quid of weee, you cheap cs and get on the patreon and get even more of this weird shit and letesss really destroy your mental health. I mean, this week on the Patreon, by the way, not giving the heartll too much. We've had The extra episode come out on the Friday, full video of the live show with Jason Cundy. Sh we talk about that? a little about a Cundy show I mean, what a moment, what a moment for all of us It was unbelievable. was so I mean, Cundy himself was on TikTok form. he was actually nervous to do it. He was, yeah. But he was he. I wouldn' have been able to tell because he was cli. was So good. The show itself was great. The vibe was immaculate, the venue were cs Noting as we record this, they still haven't paid us. what would you like to say about the venue Basically there was a sea shanty troupe on before us and there thirty people in the audience. and o my God. they Katy Sh is bitching with Jacob Bawley. They couldn't even sell out the underbelly on a Friday night. Oh we're do a two week run. I mean, keep fucking running' be my advice they didn't like us because I took the piss out. I didn't even take the piss out of their set. I said theyve they've left their se shiny shit on the stage. They had left their sea shiny shit on the stage. Yeah, they were boys on the stage. And then they gave a semanti traveler rhetoric, which I didn't really appreciate Um, But I mean, you know, let's see if that makes it a chol. we got we did get a bit agggy, didn't it we for us? huh? With the shanty boys. Yeah I'd fucking shanty town. M I know real gangsters man' fucking shoe we don't, and they wouldn't. But some of quite fun that did happen. is as part of the show and if anyone from the venue listens to this, this was all a joke and didn't actually happen it was. But someone threw me some poppers on stage too. Yeah, yeah, they did. And I did you notice how it hit me Yeah, I think it's fair to say I was flying the plane for the next couple of minutes after that. The worst it happened was I haven't done poppers in like twelve years and someone literally M in what context did you previously do poppers? I think I've mentioned it on the pop before There was a mate's birthday. we organized it for our pal forty eight hours before the party. He was like, I want to have a birthday party. Could we go to Rowins? Could we go to Bowlid? And we were like, Yeahah, all right, we'll organize that for you.'s like, you invite forty people? It's like, o fuck.? Did that. Obviously no one turned up upart from me, Jerome, the videographer of Screen Rot and this guy whose birthday it was Fortunately for me, I had some problems in my freezer at the time, found out that there was five bottles of poppers in the back of my freezer that my landlord Oh yeah you're your landlord. Yeah, we took them to Rowans and did kinding case of not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Yeah. Or not looking a gift horse in the gaping asshole, I suppose. In a way. Fucking bowling on poppers it's good laugh. What's I mean, it wouldn't shock you to know that I've never done poppers. What's the feeling like? Oh you're just like so lightheed, you feel like you're gonna to pass out and then you don't really know where you are for a bit And then obviously that's exactly what you need when you're on stage with Jason Cundy in front of three hundred people. Well, I mean luckily as you say, you were thereir and Jason was, you know telling stories and holding court. so I could just kind of zone out for the sort of. You were like that gazer that was in diving Bell and the butterfly that you know that was locked inside his body and had to communicate with blinks. Well but the problem was and this is I didn't mind about being a bit spaced out for a couple of minutes, But you know, obviously in homosexual circles, poppers are used for the opening of a bottom to open the bottom and make anal sex make room for the top. Yeah. I did notice that my anus. Soort of yawned a bit let out a few little burps Sure. I was fighting. Yes. And I don't know if you remember this the other day when we were with Kays and Ryan who edit our stuff. Right. me and Jake with there when I was telling this story And u I mean, you know, Case is a black guy with dreadlocks and I've always wanted to impress him. I told this story that I did so many poppers on stage that I started my arhold just open and let outl loads of farts. Case just went roted 's. I think we're friends now. just like's Is that good or bad? I don't think it's great. So yeah, if you want to watch that happen, then get on our patreon and watch the fy. What's been going on with you? H life? Well, as always, you know life is a series of ups and downs the Cundy The Cundy show was at a real high, even without poppers high. Yeah, just so much fun. He was great. The crowd was great, the atmosphere was great. We got insulted by some Santy boys, but we lived to tell the tale. And so next day I was like, you know you know, when you've got through a big thing like that you're preparing for quite a bit, you're like, I'm done. I'm done I'm home free here. Can relax now feet up. Next day I was having to drive to See my in laws, we were meeting them in Oxford. It's kind of like halfway between the two of us we were having lunch with them. So I was driving, was fine and drunk at the Kundy thing or whatever And yeah, was completely fine, completely normal. Two minutes outside our house, I as I'm trying to change lanes get hit by a bus and the driver was not very nice and it was and it was all a bit stressful. and It was westy,n't it? Yes, he was a West Indian man. Yes, he was. West Red Now I know Now I know why he kept saying Rarted. I did offer him some poppers. But the great part about it was that we were taking pictures. He was like, we should take pictures of both sets of damage, right? Oh the driver said that. Yeah. and so like Emma was like, ye, I would do that. And I'm just lucky ye I'm just glad I haven't killed my wife Yeah that's my main. So she's in the passenger side and you've had collision on that side. Rightad she's. But I'm still thinking about that. So I'm in a bit of a bad way of like I'm a scumbag, I'm a bad guy. So she takes all these pictures. We get home to like review the pictures and submit them to the insurance company later that day. And where we're taking pictures in the window of the car There's a picture of me and her surveying the damage. Oh so you' got nice little new profile picture for WhatsApp, nice little And I can show you that picture now. Oh go yeah and we can get Ryan to put it up there. So have a look at this. This is like when couples Jake is a Co it his face she doesn't have to be part of this. But look at the state of that man. Jake's head. I mean I mean, what's happened is the image is slightly contorted because of the way the glass works, which has made his head look like fucking mister Bobby. You look like Frank's S side bottom, the size of your head The disgust and stress with which he's looking at the damage of his car. It looks like you've made Graham S this. Watch a compilation of Paul Pogwa's worst pass attempt. It's like it's if picture That's what it looks like. And it was like we were talking about weirdly were talking about this last week, like the phenomenon now of looking at pictures of yourself that are unposed or slightly unflattering. and you look at them and you go It can't be me. That cannot be me. That is me, man. Yeah. There is no two ways about that. So yeah, a bit of a galling thing to have to live through after the highs of Jason Cundy. but yeah, there we go. It was a long weekend. We had qu a violent I mean you had your car crash. Yes. I mean, you were our wedding the to the wedding, yeah, that was quite mad forty hours later But One of my favorite places to perform is Belfast. Haven'tuced. I haven't performed in Belfast for about three years just I've been busy with the kids and stuff and tours and whatever. Lovely Jade who runs the Empire in Belfast has been messing here been like, you know's like a universally beloved club, isn't it? N fucking awesome man. And there is Hey there's this thing with Belfast where there's a kind of thing of like, oh, you know, o is an English act? Is it going to go al right? And I've never had a problem. Right. But also I remember years ago it was when my daughter was like first starting like nursery and stuff. I remember telling the other parents they're like, oh, what you up to this weeknd blah, I' got to bellfz and I' always get that thing of like sort middle class things people being like, oh, Belfarast. I remember one of them ones being like, bit stabby in Belfarast. It's like, Yeah like they an open my compare and Well exly Yeah it so luckly. Like it is genuinely and I don't know ifher I get defended because my family are Irish you know, my kids got Iish pz will bit pub like I don't know. Like if If some was like I'm going to the Middle East for work, you wouldn't be like a little bit balmy. You know what I mean?'s The inbilt assumption that it's a rough place is like one of the most parochial and stupid things you could ever do? Right exactly the trouble was like fucking twenty years ago. It like basically everyone I know that's been there in the last fifteen years has been like, it's fucking amazing. food amazing. There's so much to do. Yeahes. so I genuinely had that again last week of like I was like right I'm also to Belfast another I think of someone in the local shop that I know. O of the neighborss was like, Oh God,'s a bit worried about bloody Belfast. And I'm was like fuck off. And then the morning I was supposed to fight at Belfast to wake up, look on the news. Someone's tried to cut someone's head off It's hard to stick up for a place in those circles. But the thing is the initial thing is there is an element of like, well, lightning's not going to strike twice. ifheading The safest time to fly is after a plane crash.ly the best time to go is after a beheading. there definitely won't be aheading tonight. Just down the travel agents going. Is there anywere that's had aheading recently? becauseuse that's ideally where I'd like to go. police are going to be vigilant. I'm right, okay sick you know, B headading's out and the way now. they' Jacob Pawley' in out. Belfast has been satiated, it's fine But then I'm getting I've sort of put on my Instagram being like, I kind of Belfast, anyone's been wanting to see me before. I am gonna to do some tour shows in Ireland next year, but I was like, you know, Belfast, you know, come and see me at the Epire How got people being like you' still coming on now,n't it? Lightnings obvious to us theyre like noice protests And it's that they're forwarding me these whatspps of, you know I mean, it's quite funny that my tour is called Fighting Age Man because the WhatsApp messages are literally like calling all fighting age men, dress in all black, get your masks on, get out there. Local businesses close your doors at five PM because otherwise, you know It's gonna to kick off. I do remember us having a conversation when you were like naming and getting like obviously the show's kind of still getting ready, but where we were like I wonder if the topic of immigration and fighting aedgemen will be as relevant when the tour is actually happening. No. I suspect it might be. I mean, fucking I get there and it's and You know, it's I land it like fucking two in the afternoon. It's fine. Right. But then I go to my hotel, I've got some bits to do wanking. and I don't know if there's any man who's ever traveveled on business who hasn't immediately just wanked as soon as they get in a hotel. honestly that the first thing you do F first thing everyone does. Before the doorors even shut, swing and shut. you got your t Yeah ye. Will you be rid in there Mrisster Holl?, give me an hour putting the do not disturb sign on immediately. Yeah, right. okay. then then I head out to try and get some dinner and everywere is shut. And first of all, I'm like I was bit like shit because I really wanted like Middle Eastern like Turkish kind of food. And there's one area of Belfast where there's a lot of that. Right. So walk around there and everyhere is shut and I'm be like a fucking elllv, you know, Mo's Chich restaurant. Do you ask to? Oh right yeah, that's happening fair enough. And then And then walk into proroper toown and I'm like, oh everywhere is shut And then I'll go into A p part but I a p on my own instead of dinner I'm saying to ges to behind the bar. I'm like, is this actually happening this whole thing? He' like yeah yeah, it's gonna kick off And I'm like fuck And I was like Basically I hadn't clocked that I was wearing a blank jacket. It' pissed it down so I've got my hood up and black trousers. Yeah. And I'm like, is it really gonna to kick off? I look like a flown over. I look like a riot tourist. And then I mean, it it fucking did. I mean, people would have seen the news like, you know and there was really horrible stuff. I mean, it's the first again, I had my pint, managed to get some food, went back to my hotel came out my hotel about sevenishh to go to the gig fucking like I've never walked to a venue while I can smell smoke before Because there was burning Usually just vapes, just cherry vapes. Yeah burning cars and buses nearby And then like get get in the venue and it's like I think, obviously because Belfast has got a history of stuff like that, people are like We're not fucking about tonight Like mostostly the audience didn't turn up and the venue were just like, just fucking do your thing and get, you know, let's get home safe everyone. Yeah. And the most the most like I think I when I was chatting to the guy in the pub, he made a good point of like The worst thing is that people of like ethnic minorities are going to feel unsafe today. And it will never happen to us that we'll see a white person commit a crime and then we'll go what if they You know, safe now. Yeah, ye. White people famously committing crimes every day. They was kind They saying that at the baro like You know, the bar owns other bars as well and one of the managers was like, yeah, one of our other venues. There's an Indian member of staff and we're going to have to drive him high We're have to hide him in the back of a car because if the car gets spotted And then it's funny, I was talking a guy called Paddy, who's the MC at this place And you know, I'm showing him on Twitter, I'm like,'s fucking burning bus. He's like o, I know about burning buses. Basically this comedian Paddty, he's been going for a while in Northern Ireland. He's fucking brilliant. He was saying that he got a thing a few years ago where he was he got this sort of like spponcon thing where basically the bus company there were like, Do you want tona be the face of buses in Northern Ireland? Do you want to do some quient? Do you want to do some You know, it's good money and he's like, wecome aboard. Wh he was like, yeah And he was doing it. And then like a few weeks into this, someone basically someone from the bus company called him and we werere like, we've been sent a photo. And it was of him and his mates burning down a busass when he was a kid But he was not saying. he was like he was like, I mean, it was like, hey, you know, didn't fucking like the English and that's how we showed it back then. But it was like, B, there was also he was like, you know, we were working class. there wasn't loads to do with. Just imagine him getting the call and going. Yeah, what's wrong with that I like buses, I don't like buses then I like them now. Yeah, Give me the money please. I say yeah, I hope every if anyone's listening Belfast, I hope I mean there I do love the delicate dance of the comedy industry as well of just like, we cannot pull this gig for T's and C's Ts and C's reasons. But then Jacob Hay must do But what they did say they I hadn't thought I've never been somewhere like Belfast where stuff has kicked off in the past it's kicking off now. You know, there's a part of me going like Iook something my eat to this shit. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, wow, okay. in the same way that when you go to Dublin, you got a temple bar to see, you know Real Dublin. Right. I kind of felt like I was seeing real Bell G the real experience. Yeah, yeah. So why wanted to talk about it on stage and they were like fucking dope The official club policy on you talking about it on stage is fucking don. It's fucking mental. I mean I did I couldn't help it. It would have been brain blisster. I had to pop it. I had to acknowledge it. I think not talking about it is weird. I mean, it's a really difficult like everyveryone else manages it, all the other But But then I did have that thing of like walking back to my hotel and I was like, I've never looked over my shoulder before. Right. Beause I was like, there might have been someone in there who was insulted by some and I wasn't saying anything nasty just Yeah Yeah yeah ye. And with the jacket' wearing they could be like, that's fucking Vincent comppany, It was part of me. I was like, I mean, and then, you know I actually fly home really early. Right. And I'm walking to the airport three well walking to the bus stop to get to the airort at three in mning and I'm like My only thing was I was like, I think I'm just about blending in with the rioters. I might have to like kick a car or lamppost or something so that I just thought if if I go around a corner and there's fucking two hundred blokes in masks and black colors Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, well, I'm in black. It's a fucking gay from screenr. kick his fucking head about. I don't think that they recogn I'm just like, I think they were just about, I mean the backpacks a bit of a tell Tend there's something in there I't I kick a few doors as I pass just to make sure But then depend you make the Molotov cocktail with poppers And I've got my sort of like Liam Gallgh styar Ady ass black jacket on and I've got really wide linen trousers on I look like a gay rioter. look like you know we're marching on the city center. He's marching for pride. We're all part of the c Anyway's start You're just getting some kind of like street fashion paps like this rioter stuns in Vincent Company's jacket. Ladies and gentlemen, that's enough about that Bllocks. Join us on Patreon to hear all the stuff we're talking about. This week we are talking Mr. Stanley cheap Jake, you're going on holiday soon. Answer me two questions. Will you be using sunscreen and have you used travel insurance for your holiday? Factor fifty and fully comprehensive Yes. I think both of those things are gay, but here's where I'm happy to use protection. When I'm online, baby. I've been using Surfshark VPN. We've been talking you about this for a little while now. SurfshllVPN does two things which I really like First of all, they' got they've got a feature in there called cleleanware. Canware. Yeah. It stops like malicious websites, like doing stuff. It stops you getting tracked, it stops, you know like annoying pop ups coming. Also the whole point of a VPN it's basically like a little secure tunnel that means no one can see what you're doing if you want to look at some centoreered content. no one knows you're doing it, No one knows where you're logging on from. It makes me feel safe when I'm online And the other thing is I'm away for a bit of the World Cup I need to be seeing the tactical analysis at half time. And I can't do that because I don't speak French. And also the French people will just be talking about having affairs and their favourite type of cheese. I need to hear about Declan and Rice's positioning. You need Ma Richard, you need Alan? Come on and Gary got Yeah, baby, That's my Maker Richard's impression. Look, the other thing is price discrimination. I know we talk about these VPNs qu a lot. You might be like, old just numberadvert I don't know whever used it when booking your holiday. I didn't use it on my flights for my holiday and I should have done because I got price discriminated against. Okay I genuinely tried doing it on a normal browser. rememember that I had Surfshark, did it use using in Surfshark? I saved two hundred fifty pounds on my honeymoon. It pays for the VPN itself. Go to surfshark dot com forward slash screen right and you what you'll get Four extra months, fourour extra on. four extra onths, or at checkout, just enter screenroot Surfshark VPN Surfshark VPN protect your online privacy Boy this Keeen two, Keen two. T, Stanley Tucci Stanley Tucci, the Tch man Tach is unrealistic expectation of kind of male elegance, I think. It's nice open it. that. also become so overplayed that it's starting to annoy me. And I want to clarify here, the toch is not annoying me It's the reaction to the Tch that I find frustrating. Okay, Do you want to explain the Touch? For people who don't know who Stanley Tchci is, if you've been living under a rock, who is Stanley Toui? The Tch is kind of beloved character and leading actor, I suppose that's had many kind of beloved part in various movies. He's particularly beloved, I think in the Devil Wears Prada, where he plays a arch, sassy fashion magazine executive. He's particularly beloved in the Hunger Games, where he plays an arch sassy TV presenter and he's now beloved from his private life Instagram videos where he plays an arch sassy man called Stanley Duci. And it kind of really kicked off, I suppose during lockdown where he started kind of broadcasting himself making cocktails and nice food from his palatial home in West London. And everyone started kind of pulling their pants about that really. And he's kind of ascended into he's got like his own range of cookwar.. He's done documentaries about Italy and food and he's just genuinely held up as a kind of bastion of aesthetic pleasing lifestyle choices, I guess. Cookbooks as well. Cookbooks, yeah, which is always a bit of a. So I found them via the lockdown lifestyle cooking content. and here's how far my knowledge of Stanley Tucci Soort of goes You know, Devil Wearss Prada two sort of came out what a month or so ago? Yes. Six weeks ago? Yes. I was, I don't know why I was just getting served some images of the premiere, right? I genuinely looked at that and I thought, o my God, that chef has done so well He's been invite He's been invited to the premiere E devil wasest furder too. The social media influencer Stanley Tucci got a p That's genuinely here For me, it' it's fucking amazing. It's like seeing Eating with Todd at Batman begins Let's. I honestly didn't know over his aner I have no idea. I was like, fucking e the cooking this little gay Italian guy's doing well with his cooking stuff, he's now' obviously not gay but, but like he's now getting invited to preremieres. And you do see that sometimes. Yeah. You do see like, I don't know, the fucking the top jor Jesse, Jesseie London, all the devon shit. He'll just go to premieres sometimes You know what I mean? There's a new criminal on the streets His catchphrase is, if you can't take a dayate, take a mate. His calling card is a big Sunday ice cream. You could picture You could picture liker is it Christian Bailey does that? Yeah, ye. You could picture he's done like three years of fucking like killing himself method acting to do the best portrayal of Batman that you can. And then on the fucking on the fucking catwalk, whatever it's the red carpet. Yeah fucking eating with Todd Rolly polies over to him covers his shoes and syrup and says If I made you smell that, could you guess if it was maple syrup or golden syrup? Tod, you were playing the penguin. How did you get into the how did you get into the part of that? I've been eating raw tuna at a dehli in Notting Hill for the last six months. Yeah. That's what it was like for me. You stunt casting I like stunt casting and my favorite example is Harry Styles before he was this kind of he was big, obviously, before he wass like the earth shattering kind of Taylor Swift level pop star he is now. Yeah Kit Nolan, good old' Chrisie Nolan cast him in Dunkirk. And what I liked even more about it was that at he's dreadful and he's a dreadful actor bless him, Harry. That was back when he was just fucking like nonpate, wasn't it? some little twink. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. And Christopher Nolan was like they asked him about it. We were like, Oh ChrisherX actor used to love a bit of nonspay, didn't they? Who was the one who killed himself, Little Chris wasas he exact? Yeah that was was he? Oh go well, RIP. Yeah Yeah yeah, IP Yes. shhout out to this family Sorry, I should be. that's really bad. I'm fucking being desensitized, man. I'm being brought down to your level. That's really bad. That's really funny instead of instead of George Floyd being memorialised by the concert on top of the Empire State Building is Little Chris. Pound that distasteful actually the way David Greta spoke about Little Chris Anyway, sorry, sorry. Harry Stars was in Punka Come on, Get. comeome on. He suffered for that f. I have a dream today. Shout out to little Grzy's family So so yeah, Harry Star was in Dunkirk. and it was very clearly like a thing from the movie studio where it's like his agent had been like, ye, he's up for being in a film. And they were like, yeah, we can be in it for ten minutes and it might make like a hundred thousand teenage girls that otherwise wouldn't have gone to see the film, Dunkirk, go and see it.. And they ask Christopher Nolan about it. And he was like, I actually didn't know who he was when I watched his It wass like, I really like Chris Dolan because he's really ballsy with that shit. Like he will just say that. Like his other one is that his favorite James Bond ever is Timothy Daorwn, who's like obvious the wor this one. it's just like that's like good pub chat actually. I actually don't know it's like you saying you don't know who Jul Liper is. That's the same thing Cpir Conspir. that yeah, I also like like I think you're right. sometometimes how how do you phrase it when they just cast someone because they're famous stunt casting stunt cast and say sometometimes that is as you say, a sort of cynical PR move like if we get sttyles in it, we'll get their fucking Well, I mean his young teenage girlfs and the Nazis who liked him, the sort of the ones who were gutted when Little Chris went, but now they've got Harry Salles instead. You get them. But I quite like it when they just get a geezer in just because they think it'll be a laugh. I don't imagine when Goldie You know, Goldie. Yeah, ye He were doing loads of films in like the nineties annoyed. I don't reckon they were trying to get like drum and bass headads to watch No, no, no... Those guys are all in k holes on Saturdays anyway. He was in James Bond. Yeah. But I don't think they were trying to get like drum and bassheads from Bristol to watch James Bond. I think American casting directors have got this weird thing where they want people to look like real people. and oftentimes like British celebrities do look roughly like real people. Yeah. then you'll be like, Ohh, fucking hell, that's goldie. Goldie. Well Lord. I suppose if you're someone from Mississippi that's never heard Goldie, it's kind of interesting you're like, wow, look at that guy. Yeah for us. It t me just that at him Yeah,'re we're open to being stunt cast by the way. Fuck Oh my Godd. Mike Christ he's a friend of ours and sort of like you know podcast Pier, I guess. He's in some mad music video I saw. Yeah, mean Vitorio was in the kneecap video as well. Well, but yeah I think Victorio is like an actor now. I think you can say Victorio. he's doing los of acting and stuff. Right.as I don't want to like shit on rice. He's not an actor. Right o know what I mean? He wouldn't class himself as an actor. He's a maniac. He's just a maniac. Right, o. If anyone's just looking for a maniac where Americans, I don't think Americans might look at us and go fucking hell Show them the picture of Jake looking at the damaged car Fucking hell. Fucking hell. So yeah, so I got into Tuci You're later the game on Tuesday. I was just like, this is this is getting big because this is just the perfect version of that. hould we if if you don't mind, this is you know what? I watch a lot of his stuff. I watch his kind of homely kind of He's cooking for his wife and the children who you never see. Which I think it's partly that he's protecting them from social media. I think it might also be because he hates them Like I watch his sort of homely, he's sort of impatient with the wife who's filming him. He's like, arere you rolling? And she's like, I'm rolling. That's his little signature move. ye. Okay we roll it I making Aver good K of like how they would make it an inlay carrots have you I have chopped the carrots and now I like their repartee together I think I think it's arch and sassy, like everything Standardly Tchci does, That's his thing.. But I do like respect that kind of like they're doing a bit of a double act together. Yeah, which I kind of rate. should we watch it? Do you want to watch the Negroni one that made him go viral for the Yeah? Yeah, let's. then we watch the one of him making a chicken. So this is the Tch and this is the one that and then we can have a look at the reaction to this after we've watched it And we don't need to watch all it's quite long. This is the toch making a neggroni. What you want is a double shot J If you don't like gin, you can use vodka. If you're listening, you just got a stunning polo show on tuckedin Yeah. Jazz in the background is in great shape. He's in unbelievable shape. Beautiful glasses. He's obviously a very good looking man he's h To me that's a shot. it's not Jism So A shot of Sing vermouth And use a good sweet verermouth. If you can find a good sweet verouth, that's always good advice for use a good b Martini You know that brand Martini. Now it goes on like that, right? That's we're only about halfway through. He's only just got to the campari. All right, we can skip to the end a bit. Orange. Putting some orange in. A pre sliced orange. We a band here with the Wh where we buy our oranges And it's obviously like a stunningly beautiful house as well. They come from Florida this way. It's incredible Anyway. So this orange so you want to put the orange in here. you want to put a little bit of the juice in, a little bit donateone so you handle it like that. and And there we go. That's that. You w flic it? That will never happen. Now, that's lovely. that would never happen, is love. Now so this right, this is an article that came out in The Guardian at the time. Now that is charming, I think. Was this in lockdown? This was in lockdown. Yeah. So the bar is admittedly low I mean, fucking he it's the most boring shit I've ever seen in my fucking Jesus Christ But yes, yes, yeah. Now, This is the reaction. In a video he posted on Instagram on Monday, This is The Guardian, Tucci stands in his kitchen and makes his wife Felicia and Agrroni. It's a simple enough thing to do, as it only has three ingredients. Yet since he uploaded the video, there's been an outpouring of thirstiness for Tucci from everyone, regardless of gender or sexuality, myself included.. So far, the video has been viewed five point eight million times and someone summed up the mood early on Not to be too horny on maine, but Stanley Tuci doing a cocktail masterclass is the most erotic thing in the world Someone else wrote, Stanley Tucci is hot. as a lesbian, I could not affirm this more deeply The masterclass was also loved by Buzzfeed But even in their crowded field, they said, this is the most soothing thing I've seen all day Someone else said everybody, literally every single adult human in the world would fuck Stanley Ducci, and if they say otherwise, they're lying D you think we were going mad in lockdown? Do you think that person was normal The actor Chris Evans said, however cool, fun, witty and charming you think Tucci is, double it and you're only halfway there That to me, like again, it's better reviews than his films have ever got Like I I think. As we've talked about this in relation to social media output, what we do is relatively labor intensive. We have to get together once a week. like again, it's not nursing, all right dont don't have a goom it. But likes prep. there's there's prep, there's cameras, there's lights something. Let's do to edit it. It's not And like the idea that you could get that reaction throw your misses filming you making Nggrroni is that I resent that Yeah And I know that that's not just luck. It's because he's the Tch, but I feel like the moment somewhat overblew what was actually happening there. Do you know what I mean When I'm making the Gonies, if my wifes filming me, it's because she's going, you're fucking pissed. you don't need another one of those. You've had four cans of badery. It's good if you get sweet. I'll go for a drive. Yeah ' comeing in the passengers love. Yeah, it's a weird thing, though? Well, yeah, he's extremely watchable, but I think you're right. you've hit on it. It's that back then we were just so desperate for anything. I felt a bit kind of like Nice and quality. might be okay and wholesome. Yeah. Y And I kind of like this wouldn't work now. No. He'd have to sho it up his ass now. Like Wh where content is God? It did that's a really good point. It did make me realize how much the game has changed since then. It's only six years ago. Oh yeah. That feels like a different world. It's not four K, It's not edited. it's not got seven quick cuts and he doesn't shove the negrroni up his ey. Yeah now it's eer Tom Straer. Yeah, yeah yeah. S. Yeah It's either that or you know, don't like what are the other sort of like modern equivalents that you'd get of Well fucking Eating with Tod got a Sunday made on his head Gord Ramsey Yeah Ram Ramsey pouring it over Todd's shiny fucking bon. Yeah, and then he did the Sunday Yeah, and bit bit He's a kitchen guy. kitchen guys. Now, if we go to another one of the clips, if you don't mind We've got Graham Norton coming Gob Norton. Gabt Norton fucking loves him. The chopping board. this is what I want. Yeah. Here he is, kitchen guide No He's dragging a knife down a cuckking? Sraping down the chopping block. because it's kind What's that? Oh, get's kind of gross. So do that and we're gonna boil it Do you think you're the only man or woman who wakes up at seven forty five AM decides that's how they're gonna start their day? Well, I kept looking at it over the days and I just thought I can't look at it anymore So I'm going do this before we get them off to school I feel good. Y feel much better Ill take a picture of a mro and post it blog going on there He is a neurodivergent, closeted gay man hiding in his kitchen from his children, busying himself with anything he can to avoid the responsibilities of fatherhood. And may I just say, but enough about it Fucking sillute, brother I'm there. I am there. I'm neuro fucked, I'm gay and I do not want to have to look after my children. And if I can be in my kitchen spending two hours on a ragu that they don't give two fucks about I'm fucking in there. I don't know Yeah, I see what you're saying. I think he might go all the way like he's so well preserved and so attentive to his appearance. I think it goes past kind of what we would normally associate maybe with certain sections of the su. No, he's not getting no I'm being tongue in cheick and I'm beingf self depreicated. He is perfect meterosexuality Yeah. He's meterosexuality as it was originally born in the early nies. It's Alfaie. Do you remember thatil? Jude laore stuff.'s Jud Laore Alfay.,' Beham stuff. He's got a little moped He's got a nice little peacat. He's in fantastic shape. He's in fantastic shape. He knows the right type of shoes to wear suits. The clothes aren't oversized. No, ye yeah. No, they fit around his nice tits and arms and he looks fucking amazing. This is really one of those things where it's like There's a really famous funny tweet that I think that I think about a lot, which is like how people think they are at the pub and it's a picture of Samuel Becket, you know, like the really severe playwright and he's got sig on the go and he's got a beautiful point of Guinness. And then there's how you look in the pub and it's Les Dennis literally crying into a point of Guinness. Like there's a lot of that. Like when you're at home doing chopping You think you look like him But you look like someone from Ramseay's kitchen nightmares in like two thousand four who doesn't know how to cook, like that's the thing. He gives you the sense you might be able to be like him. You cannot be like him. No, you're right, but his objective is the same as mine. If you're in the kitchen, I don't know, rolling a knife down a chopping board to then oil it Yes don't have to do anything else with your family Families are hard, families are complicated, and as so long as you're in the kitchen, you are doing your bit and no one can tell you fucking otherwise. doing a Ngrroni, yeah, can't you can't be doing the hoovering then,. it's not the hoovering. I think it's the engaging with children. That's the tough thing. I'll happily hoover, I'll put wasash in away that physically using your hands to do the things that need to be done is easy, actually engaging with the complicated like my fucking kids are mental. I've had a thing this week. where Basically A friend of a friend no friend of the family has a kid who's just been diagnosed with autism and We've sort of noticed this, but he's stimming. He does a thing this young lad called stimming. Right, rightight? where he's sort of doing things with his hands and his face and it hiss little way of kind of coping with what's going on. and I'm glad that he's getting his diagnosis now because it means that he's You know, people can understand him bit better he's going to get along in the world a little bit. Yeah. I'm fucking I've survived the riots of Belfast. I've got back. I didn't bring my fucking laptop with me to Belfast. So so I had loads of work that I was supposed to do while I was there I couldn't fucking do it. I was trying to do it on the phone, get back. I' got millionions things to do when I get home. and I'm in a fucking cafe working. My missie is calling to me and And she's like, Hey, you know our friends kid iss stiminguling and I'm like, yes kid they got diagned bl bl. And then she's like, I'm worried about our son, Sonny I was like, why? She's like, he's stimming Right I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, he's doing what the other kid does. He's doing exactly what the other kid does. Okay I think she thought my son had caught autism She's swidwife she doesn't think that. Mate, she's like, how do like You know, what do we do? But surely it's just the like, I remember I was always desperate to have an inhaler when I was at school, even though I didn't have asthma. What we realized after a while is she caught him doing it and laughing. He's doing al right, okay. Okay. He's doing it to take the pit. It's like a father like s. What is it My son's mocking Nar my diverent of people, I'm like, fuck you know, give the kid a microphone. Let's get another patron going. The kid needs a podcast. Hello Jake, you're sacked. We've got someone else I don't need you anymore. Be lucky this kid works for free. But my point is is like life is hard. Get in the kitchen and hide. And the funny thing about him, he puts out loads of this fucking you know, like cooking tutorials, but you almost feel it's not like hes set up the camera and being like, hereere's how I do this. It's often the wife being like, what are you doing now time. he's like, well, I'm making a blang girl And he's say like I don't think he's very good at it Yeah, I think he is like a decent home cook, but's fine. He's got nice knives. Yeah Oh yeah yeah, exactly yeah yeah. But I don' think's really I mean I guess he has got cookbooks and cookware and stuff, but it is more about the aesthetic of cooking than it is about the food I often think And it's a weird thing. I spend I' about you. I'd say if you were to like, you know put my phone in the Big brother diary room and be like, what are you showing Jacob and what's you watching? I would say I'm mainly cooking stuff. I'd say that's my top thing.' say I'd say if you were to break down my viewing habits, wouldould you be similar? I'm cooking and Orca Wales Oh you whales? I love whales. So have you seen the new whale film that's gonna come out in October? You bet. What? the sperm whale where someone gets caught in its mouth? You better brother. I'm fucking puzant for that I' get so stunned to watch that. Sh we go watch that together? Well ye, but I'm gonna to do it in a very different way to you I'm going gonna take edibles and have a nervous break down Day ending in a while, huh Yeah, no so think and I think there's an interesting thing about cooking in the role of soft handed non DIY boys like us, right? Yes. I don't want to make assumptions about you. Would you believe it? I'm sh You really hard hand. I'm shit at DIY I yeah, yeah, every every every time I've done any DIY I mean, if you've in this room I've buil, and been in our room, I've built, but we you know, it's got to a point now where we have to like Alana has to plan to be away with the kids because they come near me what I'm doing. b an argument. Yeah an ar. shhelves, des, fuses, I've got nothing. I've got absolutely nothing. The closest I get to like some kind of artisanal ice is like making a ragu. Do you know what I mean? Yeah And I think there's lot of there's a lot of men like us out there now And back in the day it would have been like, I've made a spice rack in the shed But now it's like, I've followed a recipe for three hours to make a lentil dark. That's right. I've just about emulsified the pasta sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stanley Tucci's like our handy Andy But this is the funny thing. I think we're a funny generation. We've never watched more cooking. Yeah. We've never known more about the intricacies of cooking. My mom and dad don't know what a fucking Sfrito is. Yeah yeah A large portion of us are monjar roed up to fuck to the point where we don't eat Yeah. Has anyone thought of the impact of Munjaro not on the health service, but on the creator economy? Wh's going to eat a four layer triple deckca burrito when they're on the jn? Thats just an interesting thing that we all watch Th thingsings that should be about eating, but then we're all doing things that stop us eating more than any other generation. Yeah, ye it's quite weird, isn't it? the kind of what food is to us? Food used to be just like fuel, you just eat because you need to eat Th then it became Gord Ramsey came along. Then Gord Ramsey and all the celebrity ches came along and I think, you know going out to eat became something that people got really excited about in the kind of nineties and ninetyies Now it's kind of entertainment. Food is just entertainment. It's not really about eating it. It's like Oh God, I've just watched what Willie's cook make a fucking ban me from a sirloing state and homemade peanut butter. R reallyally? Are you gonna do it? Fuck No, I'm never fish cakes for. Dreke can you ever eat that? No way. What would he cook?cause Is he a chef or a restaurant or? he's just a guy. Joke. So why' you watch it, today I you're never going to copy what he does, no,. He could never serve you that food, No, do know All right, but you're watching him. Yeahah Yeah. there's loads of them. there's the what' you for lunch, meealal? Yeah yeah. There's loads of them. Like like Ben Ben dner dinner byy Ben Lippp it. He's a patron of this like hot manen Lip it. ye Yeah. fucking I thinking other day, I was like,, I've watched that man make food so much? And I was like, God yeah, I'd love to eat food one day. And I was like, M, I can't Wh are watching it Let do it? he' do what he does. I think it's a voyeuristic pursuit of anesthetic. This is what I'm trying to say, and I think this is what Stard twoi represents for us. I had a long period of time before I received mental health support where I thought that acknowledging that I had mental health problems meant that I was dealing with them. I didn't actually do anything about that thing I think by watching Ben liip it a lot, I think I'm a chef. Yay. You've never followed any of his recipes. have never followed up on any of I don't want to make a burblong. What am I forty five Yeah I watch a lot of it. Exactly. Yeah. wouldould I know how to make an emulsification? Fuck no. I reckon if you were to break down the numbers of people who watch a lot of like cooking stuff, you know, the bens and there's that slateater chef guy who kind of comes while he cooks. I reckon if you were to break down, I mean that guy, I love this guy by the way, like check it out. He's a perfect examble because his stuff is so next level. He takes a week to make a burger. He He will be like, I'm making a burger. and then it cuts to three days ago when he's like fermenting the yeast. It's fucking meentalight Right yeah And then he'll get people try and mug him off in his comments being like, Oh I gonna have followed this. It's like as if anyoneone's following this. It about this. It's just look at this mad thing I've done. Like this podcast Yeah, it's like a thirty second TV show. Yeah. they aren't they aren't it's not it's not a recipe None of this that's what That's what the toch is. That you' kind of a precursor to that, I suppose, right? Yeah. You can't have this house, you can't have this chopping board, but like you can just watch it and absorb bi osmosis in your rental flat in Hackney. You might one day be like me. But then I do kind of think to myself, I'm like, what's the point of the toch or all of it. this of life. No of the content. I'm sort of like because like I know, for example everyvery now and then I will do what you would like this is lifestyle content. Yeah. And if you ever if if you were to ever talk to Like my agents have like vaguely had this conversation with me in the past but if you ever talked to someone who'd be like, right Here's how to build a big follow in, you know, get better at social media. They'd be like, yeah You know, for a comedian, for example, make sure you're sticking your stuff out. G get your content, your stand up clips, your podcast clips out there. but Give us some lifestyle content, baby. Same like like God, I feel so sorry for this guy that we're not slaggging him off, but like Ben, the chef guy who we're talking about. I love that guy. Yeah get, you' get carousel reel of ten picks of him on holiday because it's good to get some lifestyle content in there. I do're buying into the idea of Ben Lippick cooks as a brand. Exactly, exactly. And I do that. I've got lifestyle content, my lifestyle content is showing my huge puffy inflated head when I'm hungover and I have to look after my children. Yes. I can tell you now that is my best performing content on social media. Y. When I just show a picture of my head with one of my children near it and I'm like, I'm dying of a hangover. Yes. That my best one, do you wantan to see it This is a This is the best hangover head I've ever had. This is also the most successful Instagram story I've ever posted in my life life. B best you' been worst, right? as in like I'm going get Ryan to put this up and another geyser from the rug. If you're lening on spotify right now, you can switch ont to the video to have a look at this. This is the worst head I've ever had. It's safe to say the Tch would not post that picture of himself. Right, but what I'm saying is There's a cynical part of me that knows Post that I'll get fucking loads of people liking it, replying it, blah blah. That'll boost my algorithm. Suddenly I have like tens of thousands of people viewing my stories rather than the usual like six or seven thousand. Then foollow it up with a link to tour tickets because it sounds insane. but people laughing at my fat fucking head will help me sell tickets. Like I guess my point is when I'm like, I don't get the point of it sales of fucking tickets to see the deevil wears prior the two haven't increased because I've watched Stanley Tucci drag a knife down a chopping board. So I don't really know why mean I guess for him, the personal brand that he's been able to monetize the actors of a similar level would not be able to monetize is cookbooks is byy my pasta roller, is byy my neggroni mixer or shaker or whatever it is, right? And so in that sense, I think you're right like letting people into your lifestyle like sales or engagement is downstream of that. So everyone's doing that. I let you in and then at some point I ask you to buy something, right? And it's like that's probably the same with me I don't really like letting people in at all. That's the last thing I want tona do. The The most you've ever let anyone in in terms of your personal brand the worst day of my life on your stack dude. Yes. You moaning about my stack. I've never got more followers in a day It was both an interesting and great day for the social media and the most depressing day of my life Because I've been stand up out, come and see me do this, come and see me do that. No one getes a fuck. they're happy when I'm depressed. You hoold up in a hotel room, look at a bit like when a journalist has to hide in a hotel in Dubai while it's being bombed. Yeah. You' be like, I am safe ladies and gentlemen, trust me I'm safe but here's what's going on the ground. You're doing that from my stag do. I marked myself safe from your stagd do, ye The Tch gets to make a neggroni and downstream of that is a million pounds in cookware sales. I have to be thoroughly depressed and I get one hundred and fifty Instagram followers But So do you think it is a bit of that? Do you think it is a bit of Cookware sales and I don't necessarily maybe the wife's got eye on things Maybe she's like I don't necessarily think it was it was Machiavellian probably I think he was bored during lockdown and he's a charming guy with a Twitter account. I think that then though, it's like it's that kind of thing that Brent says where he goes like the British public have said, yeah We like that. What else you got? And it's like, that's the vibe. And then the next thing you know, he's traipsing around Italy eating Pacoe Pepe on ITV. that's the fucking that's the only bit I'm a bit like fucking give it a rest man. I've mentioned this on patreon, so I apologise for repeating myself. I am fucking sick of the overromanticization of Italian culture He fful You're anti Italian. No, I'm not anti Italian, but let's stop putting it above. Look in this house, Stanley Ducie's a fucking hero. Right There's the Sopranoss angle. Theres there's nonnerism. You know, nonnerism. I know you're one of the biggest advocates against nonarism. the noners are Nazis. We don't know that. Oh fucking come on Come on, rural based Italian women of that generation, who were they voting for? Who were they in favor of at World War? Women allowed toote in Italy? When they're trying to keep the farmers's hands off them, when they're not trying to do that wasini Kingona is and I'm telling you now it is the best example of food that looks good but probably tastes fine I'm I'm really into I'm a curry guy. Now this is kind of becoming a race rankings, but we should have should play Jingle or something. Go for it. Yeahahah. Go for it. Joth he does U Yeah Race rankings, Wh will score so high Pakistani Japanese Race rankings It's not because we're white! We're not the best. The brown guys are tonight Is that the's that the tune to transform as robots into school? It is y Italian honers, fascists in disguise. They are right They are R let's fucking roll them down a little bit boy. Let's get them down. I don't want Italians as high in the race rank in the content around them fucking shit and I'm sick of the G good BR. Yeahagine imagine don't think about me making the pasta sauceagine Genations ago. There's a restaurant in London where they' actually they've actually shipped in these little hunchback old ladies from Italy and it's like, Do do you want to have a real non to make it? and they're in there. They refuse to use like proper knives. They've got those little hook things. It's like we c got the garlic with the knife. and then just o, and what have they made Tomato sauce together Thank God you shipped them over. Yeah. But God forbid we ship over any fucking actual brown people who make good food. Right. How the fuck have we ended up in a world in a culture war where we're anti brown people who make amazing food and take your fucking pick, go to South Asia, parts of the Middle East oh my God, the flavors is unbelievable. Oh no, we can't have them fucking, they keep cutting people's heads off I'm willing to accept a trade off where one guy's head can get cut off. Wh's whoo's to say a Nona won't go berserk and cut someone's head off? Well, this is a problem. they could be they could be a sleeper agent from Benito Mussolini', Italy. Right. Look, we've had one Sudanese cut a head off. Yeah, but you put those put any of those ners in a polling booth, you're getting fucking terrorm in there in terms of how they voting They're racists. We don't know that Im sorry if you're listing in Italian the unonas not at all. Oh I mean, this gu goes out in the afternoon, they'll be asleep at this point. But Good Lord. I want to get Indians in Pakistanis much higher in the race rankings. I'll say this now. I was pottering around fucking Belfast looking for somewhere to eat.. Every Italian shut because of the riots, D't know, asleep, right. The fucking Indian was open baby. And In any port of storm Danykleo was ten Men. I just You don't get the same And this is something I really want to go to Sri Lanka soon because you get the, I don't know if you know anyone who's been to Sri Lanka. you can need this thing we can go and stay with like an old Sri Lankan donononna. I don't know what you'd call that.ight you know, an old Sri Lankan lady. Yes. And she'll give you like home cooking stuff, right And it's like, yes, let's start romanticizing that. It's fucking much better food. Yeah. so see there's no mysticism to the tomato sauce. We all know the fucking drill. If you really want to, you do your carrot, your celery, your onions, sweat it down u dil it's nice and brown. And then you fucking, oh yeah, brown off your meat, putting a bottle of wine in there. Oh yeah, fuck ton of garlic, Parmesan, if you want, Tomatoes on top. If you spend six pounds on a t of tomatoes, it's better than two pounds Who'd the fuckking thought and back're saying you're saying that like the T has kind of benefited from Italian or white privilege in a way. one hundred percent whereere it's like people see him and his aestheticness and it's like for example, we couldn't have Sachin Tendolka doing the same thing. I don't know who that is. He's a very famous Indian cricketer. Get Sachan in here now. Satch in. S in, get Sach in in here fucking right now making inegr. I don't Fuck the Negrroni, I don't know how they make curries. I do not know. You don't know. I've got an idea. No, you don't. Fuck off. you don't. I've got an idea. No you don't. I could give you three hours, all the ingredients you could ever want You could produce a tomato sauce as good as any honer. I could give you three hours all the money in the world. you are not making a dan sack or any kind of curry, DPRs, or roan josh, whatever your preference is Get any fucking white. Yeah What about the guy on Twitter, Matt Hudson, the cururry King? This is why and I'm genuinely meeting him in Birmingham after my tour show I swear in my life, that's true. Are you actually? Yes. I'll be there. Of course you are. So I get to meet him. Of course you will. I love that guy. I love that guy. He listens to this. Does he? Yes. Oh my Godd, the curry king listens to this. Be because it's fucking amazing. Yeah. If I told you that there was So white boys speak a little curry. If I told you there was some cant in Birmingham who can make a tomato sauce just like Italy, you'd be like fucking who cares? There is one white There's one white. There's one white guy. Who knows how to make a curry Look paraxxid you are. L paracxid you are. That's true. B proven with Italian foodof fucking never. And that's the real quiz..'s there's one white guy. One white guy who can make a curry.. And I' told you we're meeting him after my show. In fact, there's two Mattss who make There is actually a second one. Which one we meet in fuck I'm not gonna time Basically, the fact that we're meeting the curry guy you've shit your pants. I mean, you are gonna does with No, I'm not going to make him cook for us. That's crazy. I mean, if we can do some kind of private dining experience we' pay him we're going for an intern with him, obviously. So he's that's amazing. But how excited are you? Do you see my point Get rid of this nona shit. Let's start getting down with nonnerism. Down with nonnerism. Up with curryism Start let's start getting some little Indian ladies. Give me, hunchback Indian ladies. in the culture there needs to be Okay. Italians are great, The nona is fine, whatever They've had their time, all right? We are advocating for there to be Sachintendolca to become a major food based Instagram star. We are looking for Imran Khan, the former president of Pakistan, he's currently in jail in Pakistan. As when he gets out, if he could become an Instagram star, that's also great And we are generally asking if they would tell some of us whites. More of us whites. We don't know this one guy has got the secrets, but we'd like to know the secrets At the moment, the way we're kind of get the secrets is we're going to go to him. But ideally I'd like to go straight to the hor' mouth. Yeah ye, yeah Okay,' right.'s thatsalled. Is there anything else we want to talk about? I mean, one thing I did want to say in terms of and I just think it's crazy that that this guy, as I've now discovered, is like a proper actor An amazing actor as well. such a good actor. I genuinely didn't know. Yeah now I know and I'm like how do he's like a Hollywood? I mean, I I jokingly talked about his roles in the Hunger Games and in Dev was P probably I mean Dev Pro probably belved enough and where he'siting so much great stuff. He's not the only person who's had a successful career elsewhere who is now being kicked into by the management or the algorithm into food content. I thought this was AI when you first sent this to. This is real. This is crazy. a intrinsic part of Green Rot Law a person that I could have fucked Yeah, had you so chosen? Yeah. This is pop star Sam Smith who would you believe it, has started a food account called Sam sererved Piggy, Hey Piggy. Hey Piggy. Hey Piggy, Hey Piggy. Welcome to Mix Fish and Chip Bar in London. One of my favourite fish and chip shops. I used to work in the studio down the road and then I'd come up here and I'd bang one of these back. I have some fish and chips and it's delicious. Fllow me. Let's go. I've got the microphone on a bat. I small fish and chips please. and the battered sausage Look at that golden feast in front of your eyes. Check this out. What's the point of this? Look at that beauty. I don't like fish and chips from Ph pubs. I just love it feeling fresh and casual and I to use my hands. I'm a nasty pig Oh my What's going on? That's probably enough. There's only one sausageer. Has he got into debt or say? sorry sorry put these whels up. The reeels sometimes get about five thousand views. They're dying worse than not. There's a part of me that I'm like, I reckon we could get them on. I reckon we could get Sandsmith on. I'd love. I mean the amazing thing is when Sandsmith was messing me a few years ago and they were like, are you gay? And I was like, no? And they were like, No, That was me thinking they want to fuck me. I think they might have wanted me to be a videographer for them Yeah. Are you gay because I need a gay guy to come and film me fish chips? Yeah, exactly. Yeah yeah yeah, piggy. L Isn't it this crazy? No like like the thing I think because of all the sort of culture, oh my god, they're non binary All that stuff around Sam Smith yeah. Like people have forgotten They're one of the most successful British pop act of the last twenty years. And generuineally like one of the most amazing voices I've ever heard. Right, right. L the fact that they're doing this is eating with Todd shit. This is what Willie Cook's fucking madness. This is crazy. And I suppose it's like again, the Tch was kind of an originator of this or you didn't know it, but he was like, I'm one thing, but I'm gonna kind of do another thing now. Obviously lots of people have done that over time. I'm an actor that's interested cooking That was he was a very kind of social media ish way into that and maybe broke down barriers around actually, that doesn't diminish you as an actor. It makes you more of a famous personality and therefore a bigger and better brand I mean, Sam Smith doing this. they've no need to do this. But it I don't doubt. and this is the mad thing. It wouldn't surprise me if Universal Sony or, whichever record label looks after Sam Smith, when they pulled Sam in And they were like, you need to get down a fucking chippy. And like honestly, call them piggies, do whatever you have to do, like like youre doing they're doing phallic stuff with the batt sausage. let's not beat around the bush here. I don't doubt they might have cited Stanley Tucci have been like, Look what I did for the two. Look what I did for the t But what I respect about the toch, It's not a kind of desperate fuck. I want to sell some saucepoons. et film in. I honestly think, as I say, it's a ne ide divergent metrosexual man who just wants to be in the kitchen who was observed in his natural habitat by his wife. I think there definitely was something that felt very natural and pure about it at the beginning that people responded to. And I think it I think it' I don't think he got up and pulled a carving knife out and started dragging it down chopp board because he was like, this will get numbered. No,. think he did that of his own accord. his wife was like, whereere the fucks he gone? I mean his kids haven't spk to in years.'s like Let's film him. J I guess what I'm trying to say is this might be the first organic lifestyle creator. That's a good point. If there's a social media, if this podcast could be about social media for a second instead of ranking racist, if there's a social media learning to it It's The tach is showing if you can find another piece of your life that feels natural, I don't know, like being a miserable cunt on a stagg or being hung over looking after your kids do it and let people in and it will kind of A make them happy because it's fun to observe. and B is like a true representation of yourself. The wrong way about it is being like, I've got to do something. I'm gonna eat a bad sausage, right? Like That's what you don't wantan to be.'m not trying to shit on Sam Smith. I mean, as I've said before, if that's something that sounds into, I'd became for it for the right amount of money, Sam Yes. And I guess this podcast, as it always, it comes back to this podcast this is a meta commentary on our own selves. This is kind of what this has enabled us to do. I couldn't do social media videos of me being like sour and intellectually annoying about social media just into the front facing camera. We This has enabled us to give away a piece of ourself in a comfortable manner. This is our toch. This is our is this is our phallic battered sausage Do with it what you do with it what you will. Jacobs on tour G get tickets, Jakefarrel.ubstack d. comot Thanks so much for listening as always. Big up Stanley Tucci. We'll see you again next week. Up the Riders.