Final Thoughts on the Lineker Persona

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See terms at casino. draftKings dot com slash promos, ends july twenty second at eleven fifty nine PM Eastern time Mornings have a rhythm hear it Feel it Quaker We fuel it with one hundred percent whole gin oes. and a good source of fiber in every bowl, helping you turn that rhythm It's your soundtrack for a great day Fuel to start whatever's next Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup twenty six. we did it An up. what Welcome to the Screen Rck podcast, the podcast where we diss the weirdest and worst content that's been rocking on our screens and indeed our mind. Shout out to everyone who subscribes to us on Apple, YouTube or Spotify. You're doing us a big favor.av, Eespecially if you leave us a nice review, which we're going to get to in a moment.le Big shout out to what do I do next The sing setent me off, quickickot I've done that. Oh the patrons, big shouts to the patrons, the people who pay for this podcast, the Freemasons. They pay three pounds a night nine a month for less than a pound a week. They get an extra episode of this every single week. Plus once a month we do the rock bar, the live stream show where they can phone in and have a chat to us and show us some of their favourite rock. There is, of course, the Illuminatity, top tier of the Patron, fiveive night in a month All of that, plus a free hat on their heads, priority access to tickets to live events which are bloody selling out. Big shout out to Eugenie runs on Twitter account. He may be sent by God and a big wink and a kiss To the ladies who listen to this podcast who are indeed some of the most gorgeous and sexy ladies in the United Kingdom of England. I'm here as always. Where's Jake Farrell? It's great to hear patoire in the intro. It's always fun to Whever had the over under of one minute for the first use of pattoire in the podcast to have a drink takeake a dr Pato singing along. Yes. You're a bit of a reggae aficionado, aren't you? I've gotten a very asty music Back from Berlin last week, seeing Father John Misty. Oh John as you started calling him. Just before we get on into that, I will just say I I did a very serious article in the Metro. Yes you know, you write it and it gets edited and it's not quite your words, but I was talking about how I do feel there's an underlying level of potential racism towards A young arsenal player called Miles Lewis Skelly. Yes. That got a lot of traction on Twitter, Tweeted about it as well, G gotot a lot of traction on Twitter and there there be being like, all this fucking woke boring North London middle class b. And then one of our listeners put being like, if you go back to episode forty seven of his podcast, he almost does an entire episode in Patoire talking about chs So yeah anyway, we come into you Look those who have not dibbble dabbled doed once or two ice in their life cast the first stone, do you know what I mean? If you've not done no woman no cry while you're doing the washing up with a little bit of a llt What song is that People double know. I don't know. I only in w Yeah. Anyway. Okay about Jacob Bauly start a reggae three piece. It's a proper like. Jake's on the steel pan drum. Kicked in the head by a horse and he can't stop scatting. This podcaster was kicked in the head by a horse. Now he can't stop scatting in patois.way, so we're just doing noises. Let's do a podcast. C come on, right? So ye. Sos basazy we're gonna to do bit of an intro before getting into this week's topic. This week's topic is It is the right time of year because it is about to become his season. But before we get into that, Jake and I just rendezvoused. it thought was nice. We've got a group chat with our management And obviously we're planning a live shows at the moment. the tour is nearly sold out handful of tickets left for both Bristol and Leeds probably gone by the time this comes out, but get there fast if not. But on our little greeachchat of our management, they were like, would you be up for doing this And I was like, you know what? Jake's flying to Berlin at the moment. I'm flying out tomorrow. We'll ask each other over a stein. Yeah And that felt very jealous. And then we got to Berlin, I went to get some curryverse. I was a bit late to meet you. You had to go home because your friends had run a marathon. we actually spent about nineteen seconds in each other's company, both stressed to within an inch of our lives. like good see you. I've already I got to go st. I was like, ye, I' just get aryverse. I've got go ye,way, ob'iously by. We were so close as well to pulling it off. because it was like we make it such a big deal. becauseuse like a few weeksrior we'd be like, you were like, Oh, I'm going to Berlin that day. I'm like, fuck I'm in Berlin that day. We're like, Oh, we've gott to hang out. As if we don't talk Seven times a day. we film half of it. Yeah. I think we both have that Jacob while I'm out there. you haven't seen him yesterday. I both think as wellough we had that kind of slight over pressure of thinking the other one wanted it like like know we really need to do it. you know what I mean? Yeahah. And also the thing of like, it's not like Stehvenidge Town Centre Berlin. Theres there's more than one place you can be U Yeah, yeah we actually came very close to lining up and there was one moment where I was like, We're going to have a beer in the sun here But the end with with our wives. But in the end it was just like stressfully being pulled in a hundred different directions at once. So you were out there supporting friends of yours who are running the Berlin marathon. I do feel like I'm at an age now and stage in my life where most of my friends are running marathons around Europe. Yes Most weekends. That' more likely than about What's new upp this week? was actually doing He's doing the Brighton half? What about it's Tom R No, he's doing Milan half I've had so many people mess you be like, I've listen to your podcast. I really went while I was doing the Berlin half. Yeah when I was running. was fucking Yeah. It was actually my dream that I would like be watching the Berlin half marathon and as people kind of sprinted past me, I would just see one of them flashing up their iPhone screen to all come.. Oh No listened to screen. Yeah you were out there supporting Hen? I was at this point of the a, My mate's Hen, My mate Flow was running it I'm gonna make will. U is a remarkable thing. We were joking that a marathon is a little bit, you know, like in love actually the kind of voice overver where Hugh Grants like, When I'm feeling we bitre down to the dubbster one I like to think of, I like to think of the departure loud Heathrow airort or the arrivals loud. it's like that whole thing. Yeah. It's just like it's a thing specifically set up to generate one emotion Joy Everyone's tried so hard for this marathon. And everyone's like really good doing it. and all of their mates are there being like, We love you, we fucking love you. It's just like a whole city of people just crying shouting at people. Yeah, which is kind of like a screenboard show I suppose. It' kind similar in that respect. But yeah, it's a beautiful. It was an incredible thing. They all did very well. I was inspired to pick up some running again. I ran four kilometers yesterday and almost passed out E these Delich So there we go. I've stopped vaping. I'm now addicted to nicarette. I'm buying about twenty pounds worth of nicarette a day. All I think about is cigarettes. Men's mental health. What's that like me where it's like Sanjay's no longer my best friend? or it's like Jel is no longer my best friend. Nicarette is now my best friend. that's my life at the moment So yeah, it was a life changing experience for me as my men's mental health is vastly improved because of it not least by seeing you bowling around Berlin, Cry verse stains around your mouth and your great big se pe coat acting all normal. I've got this thing now like I think I' reference this on the rock bar. Obviously, Jacob speent his entire life trying to rattle me trying to trying trying successfully rattlingly I was a bit offended trying, No try about it. If you put him in front of anyone ellse He becomes like a very polite I'm a good codewitcher,. Yeah. good code switcher. a good parent voice. You are parents like me. There's that famous Disney cartoon where a man finds a singing frog and he thinks he's gonna make his fortune. But every time he shows the singing, dancing frog to anyone else, it doesn't sing or dance. It just sits there like a normal frog. and everyone thinks he's mad So I'm not wandering around at home. I promise you, he wanks himself awake. He wanks himself awake fire alarm just went off in the middle of my story about Jacob rattling me. But I'm wandering around my flat going, he's rattling me again He's saying that he's going to post a picture of himself doing Ketamin on the Instagram or something like that. And then when we get out to Berlin, he's like, hello there my good. It's such a pleasure to see you. Let me kiss you on both cheeks, Madarlin. How are you Madallin? How's publishing? Oh, what a pleasure to see you. Can I get you a drink? It's just unbelievable. I's like a gunt now. she's always like Hes so lovely, sos's so lovely I, he's not's fucking trying to kill me There wasice nice abroad. It was my mind you have a good time? You had a nice me and my miss is first time abroad since the kids since my first kid was born Five and a half years since we'd been away just the t of. Wow. Yeah, it's amazing. And I'll be honest a lot of it so my eldest is like four and a half now so it's like no stress leaving her, but my boy He's two, which isn't that young, but like he's still breastfed. That's the big thing. He's still on the boob. Oh ye we need to get him off. He needs to stop breastfeeding misses And a big thing with this is like, well, if we spend two nights away from us And then I looked after him the night we got back my misses went out. It's like, well, that's three nights. He should be fine The thing is my son, you know, every kid likes breastfeeding and they say breast is best This kid sucks tits like he's just got out of jail. like he eat this boy Is that a thing on the wisdom Bell? This boy, honestly, I've never seen a kid like it. He's obsessed with it. Really? And we've tried a few things in the past. There's this thing you can buy on Amazon, which is like this. It's mad. It's like this sort of like gel that women can rub on their nipples. Right. It's basically just a horrendous taste. Oh like when you'reorrying to stop biting your nails. Eact Exactly And all the Amazon reviews is like five stars, this got my child off Ohh my God. My wife's tits tastes disgusting. Yeah it's like, yeah, yeah, the kid wouldn't come near me after this. This got my kid off. Thank you for saving me from non stop breastfeeding. My missie was like, there we go lather it on, do two tubes. My son wass like, couldn't give a fuck. Just kept sucking. Good, ye And what and chuck some m mustard on there.s see if I can give a sh. Try again. Yeah, try again. Still on, right? There was I remember there was one night like I was at work. I was I can't remember I was working and I was like, I don't know, doing a gig somewhere miles away, getting home early in the morning And my miss was like, right, I'm going gonna put them both down in their beds. I'm gonna wear a really tight bra and then wrap around it to make sure like he is not gonna breastfeed tonight. She basically put a fucking chastity belt around her tits. I get home and you know, and she was like, and she'd message you before she went sleep being like, Oh good, I don't think he's you know, he's still in his bed. we've done. I get in You know, after my gig and I'm trying not to wake her up and I'm like, you know, getting undressed in my bedroom, get my clothes and I'm like trying creep into bed and not to wake up and misses. and I just slide into bed and I just feel something, littleittle legs, little arm get a tor up on my phone. he's just there, like looking up me like And he's fucking managed to like unwrap the thing, Undo the brag, get the tit. And he's just looking up at me like, if you don't tell, I won't tell because I've got vap in my pocket and I'm like, ye, fair enough brother. We're both sucking on tell the we me right? Yeah, we're both sucking on things we shouldn't. You don't mention the electro bom. I won't mention the tit. Spuds, see you later boy So we left we went to Berlin leaving him in the bed. I'll go and sleep with yours You oe me dad. rightight? And so we left it's like my best mate and my miss is best mate. they're married. they've got kids exly the same age. Perfect place. they very kindly took our children. while we went and had it off in Berlin and saw you and had a really just one night it was like because we flew early the morning prior, they had the kids the Saturday night and the Sunday night, we flew out the Sunday morning And we're like, right, that's two nights he won't have the boo. It's cold turkey. We'll get home, sweet. It's like going to the priory. That's it So then thenorning the morning we were about to fly home. We obiously messaged our mates being like, how were our kids last night? Did they sleep okay? All good? They were like, absolutely fine. They've been brilliant. so nice having them. And we're like, Oh, thank you so much. And then My mate's wife, the mother of this household that obviously had their two kids and my two kids in their house My mate's wife she was like, there is one thing we should tell you about And she was she was like basically so my daughter, my mate son, the two elder kids, the four year olds, they slept in the bunk beds together. And then this other couple, they've got a young kid a kind of one year old R still sleeps in their beds. Right And she was like, u Yeah, so we woke up sort of two in the morning last night and she was like, I could feel my son, my one year old breastfeding. R me Rusk o And she was like, you know, obviously that's fine, He he still breastfeeds. It's no problem. And she was like, but I sort of kept my eyes closed while he was breastfeding. And then I opened my eyes, looked across the bed and I could see Ros go on the other side of the bed with my husband And I look down And it turned out my son had started breastfeeding on my mate's wife He hadd got in their room, crawled into their bed. obviously looking for my missy. She's not there and it just seen a pair of tits had gone It'll do. And this kids like this kid's like a truffle pig for tits. He can find tits at ten yards. No one in North London is safe from Sunny Haley. Sunny Hly Hw no one is safe. This boy amaz And show what like I have to say fucking boy. B you know you know we have earnest and honest conversations about sex as many on the patr side. I don't wantan to get into it too much, but I remember being younger and like, you know when you were like a young teenage boy, you know, tits are everything. Sure. You don't stop thinking about tits? No. And I think I did think I'd spend much much more. I remember watching we will start the episode in moma. I remember watching the Pamela Anderson and Tommy, what was it the guy from Right Yeah him talking about Yes T me L, Yeah. You know, they had there was a porn, wasn't there They made a porn show about the p. No know at one point she was like shooting breast milk across the kitchen into his mouth. Wow. And know I watched that as a teenager I for. that's, know, yeah, I guess a lot of my life would be tits and mouth. and there's less of that when you grow up, Do you know what I mean? And it it' Tit and mouth is breastfeding rather than a sexual thing, but I do remember And I'll just tell this quick anecde. I've spoke about my son being most of a kid. like any women Wear a bar at night because my son's about No one's safe. No one's safe. Honestly, I put on a bit of weight last summer, he started looking at me, but isn't I live dead with? You know You know, boobs and mouth can be an intimate thing. I remember Ten years ago, I remember we had a bit of a house byy our house and I remember There's my mate. I went to say his name was sort of You know, there's he was with this girl, but hit my mate had a partner and this girl had a partner so nothing could happen But then they stayed in a room together. I remember the next morning having a you know we all went out for like afternoon beers after a bit of breakfast and we were like, So you and thatirl then mate? You obviously something happened. I know you' got a girlfriend and she's got boyfriend, clearly something happened And he said to us, he was like, Well, no, not really And he was like, she obviously wanted to stay faithful and I should have been beaving myself. And obviously we don't condone adultery on this podcast, but we were like so nothing happened. He was like, Well, something happened. Basically. And I find this man, this was the girl's suggestion. Okay So my mate was in a relationship and this girl was in a relationship. they've been cracking on with each other, but they're both in relationships. They're both pissed, you know, it's a house party. they shouldn't do anything. And my mate was trying it on a bit and she was like, No, I don't think we should. And then the compromise they came to, which the girl suggested, the girl said, L look, I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend. You don't want to cheat on girlfriend. but we obviously both want to do something tonight How about you wank yourself off and suck on my tids? Now that doesn't happen very often, does it And I have to say, you don't when we got that message last weekend from my mate's misses being like, yeah, your son did did get me in the night. I was like, The funny thing is he's never met my mate, Andy And yet somehow Uncle Andy is influenced. Oh my go. boy, rightight. L we're getting into we're getting into dangerous and dirty territory and that is the best way. He's imagining him out of the out of the bedroom and he's padding down the corridor. You know, like like like like the burglar is in home alone Here he comes. Pon is that led round the door. My son or Andy. Anyway, look we're fucking eighteen minutes in the people who want the topic going become mental. This week ladies and gentlemen, we are talking about the King of summer. We are like how do you know the seasons are changing? The clocks spring forward and this man comes out of hibernation, puts on a River Island t shirt, some cargo shorts and a pair of flip flops pututs on his favorite Rayan suonglasses. Yes and gets ready for a big one. Ladies and gentlemen, this week we are talking about Wayne Linaker. Tomorrow morning is knocking. Stalock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha forppuccina drink? or a sweet vanilla? Smooth caramel maybe? orr a white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits Find Starbucks Rppertina drinks whereorever you buy your groceries Wait et on this, get on this. Get on this. G on this. Get on this. it be it'd be a D sound on get. Get on this. Get on this. Wayne Linaker I think Wayne Linaker are you into fables? AOP. Yeah, into the H cream and fables, ye. ye Good fables, betteret hand cre. Good fables yeah. Is Peter Panner a fable? No, . I'd say this's a children's story by the author J M. Barry, where where his fables are more kind of like archetypal like morality tale. All right, okay, well o we can go we can talk about Peter Pan if you I think Peter Pan should There is an element of fable in it in that there isn't a morality instruction in it about growing up and So this is it I think a lot of people think of Peter Pan as being a fun story Y A fun story about the boy who never grows up and stays a boy forever and lives that fun life. Yes I think it's actually a tragedy I think if you wanted to and I could see this happening. I could see like a sort of modern Netflix remake of Peter Pan Right where it's actually a tragedy and the lead character would be Wayne Linaker. Wayneinaker is Peter Pan It's the boy who never grew up. Yes, the scaffolder who never grew up. Yes. It'sind you have a sleeve tattoo when you're sixty four years old Jz and Superhands owning the pub thinking that it'll be like going to the pub just like Exactly. Well we're to get into that, but like He's as close as anyone's ever got to owning the pub while still going to the pub. That's true, actually. Yeah He is as close He would have you believe that he is he is owning the pub and drinking in the pub Yeah. yeah, yeah. and he kind of is it's a wayay Nica. I'm sure people are aware of who he is if you're not. He is a man in his fifties, I believe information n maybe basasically u He's Gary Linaker's brother. As a very underrated part of all of this Yeah by the way. L he's such a strange person and he's become via social media a kind of personality in his own right. Well he is so mad that he is the brother of the former top scorer in England history. Well notot just the former top scorer in England history, but I think you have to you have to countenance what Garyin is sixty two. Fuck you el. is doing its work. But like it's not just that his brother Gary a good footboard Because there are footballers who you would go, well you and Wayne are very similar. But Gary is obviously now, I think still the BBC's highest paid Until very recently sure. Until very recently. Yeah yeah yeah They' also, you know been CEO of Gal Hanger podcasts. Iou What I'm getting at is the kind of societal political standing of Gary Lina.. He is someone who is You know, he got in trouble for criticizing the Tory partarty. He has volunteered to house refugees in the past. He is kind of, I think a lot of people view Gary Linaker being like the like the spokesperson for Woke BBC. I I think a lot of people view him that way Whether thats true or not? I don't know and I'veard mucky tales about him and teenagers, but we'll leave that for another time. But But I think Wayne Minaka, whilst Gary became this kind of like Clean shirt you know, Romaniac sort of soft left very personist dad. Centrist dad broadcaster. Yeah. Wayne Linaker's like his evil twin. It's like, which way Western man, How do you want to grow up? Yeah Do you want to iron your shirt and wear some sensible shoes, get the glasses on and present primetime DBC. Do you believe in the concept of doppelgangers, do you think? Do you think there's a kind of equal and opposite evil out there for each of us Well, I think the universe is infinite So the answer to that and actually to any of your questions is yes. any of my question. Well if you're going ask me if anything exists, ask me anything. ask me ask you anything? Ask me if something exists. How do you wake yourself up in the morning So right, so you believe the University of infantence, you believe there's alternate versions of ourselves out there and there's every version of ourselves. Every version And to that as well. Monkeys on the typewriters is producing Shakespeare kind of thing. And there's some monkeys producing other forms of fiction as well. Right There's monkeys producing everything. Yeah. There's monkeys doing this podc. There's monkeysy thisodc. Yeah. There's actually right now. Somewhere there's humans doing this podcast But no yeah, I know are you suggesting that the Dopelganger theory is most present in the Liner Bothers? Well, I think like it's a good example where it's like, yeah, it's not far off. I think if you like there's a comedian called Lilliam Williams, who's a really, really good comedian. Yeah, people it's not as active at the moment, but people might know me did a series called Ladhood, which was on. I had a very tiny ro. Yeah, you're in that way. As was I makeate Robbert And he did please like I think was BBC as well. And made these amazing stand upp shows. But there was this guy and he's not about as much anymore, which is a good thing. Yeah he actually is still active. is he's just not as I've not twice you're going to talk about Paul Joseph Wats. Pauloseph Watson who's this Prison Yeahah Pris who's this right wing YouTuber who was kind of doing it ten years ago kind of ahead of the game of being fucking psycho racist weirdo. while Jake, you know, the Cambridge educated Liam Williams comedian was sort of like this bit of a star of the left wing alternative London comedy circuit. While this guy was getting big in twenty sixteen Paul Joseph Watson, Prison Planet Paul, the right wing YouTuber, was getting big in right wing YouTube. And they were that weren't. Liam Hello, I'm Liam Williams a very thoughtful comedian went to Cambridge, but from a kind of working class background in Leeds don't really know how to countenenceance that in terms of how I speak about the world Whereas then Prison P of Pool was like, wake up Lies! They're coming over on boats and I don't think it's a peaceful religion s like And it was amazing that they were both they were both as active and rising at the same time. Lean Williams the left wing comedian just trying to make some thoughtful comedy about myself actually. And then on the other side he's like, wake up lefties. Prison planlanet Pool will be like, We need Brexit now and Cameron is too much of a pussy to deliver it I think I think I have that with that comedian Andrew Lawrence. you know him I'll put a picture of this gun up now. but this guy like he's like a little gingerfll. I've never seen that He's this little gingerfella and he kind of his big break was, I think he was kind of pretty mainstream. He was got live thepo. live of Apo done at MIntyre's Road Sow. He was big in the nuies anyway. He just had the funny thing is this guy had had like You know, what was available to young sort of straight white guy comedians who just want to talk about their lives in the naughties, which is like, D't just go on tellelly and buy a house? Yeah he did it. And he did. And he fucking then moaned about it and was like, womomen get to go on pattle shows now or whatever. And it's like, Mate, you've had the literally the best possible career for your very limited skill set. shut the fuck And I was always like worried. He looks kind of so like me in some ways that I was always worried that my mum would get a video because he used to do these videos. I't if he still does them on Patreon where he'd be like dress up as a policeman and be like, I'm here to arrest you for saying woke stuff or whatever. or like What was this ide did. This guy it got in the news because he was like You know, one of the first people in twenty seventeen to be like, oh, they're just putting women and people of color on panel shows now. bit unfair, isn't it? And it's like, you know now that's just like what people just say every. That's a good point actually. At the time, that was like on the guuardian and stuff asedian, Andrew Lawrence goes mental and effectively self imulates his career. And now people probably say worse than that. That's how people introduce themselves on stage But yeah, but yes and then he kind of had a kind of cancellation He stopped getting put on TV and I think he's audience frank, but now he's kind of gone big again and kind of like righting TikTok and YouTube. Yeah, yeah. and as you say he does these like mad sketches where he's like yeah, ye, yeah. knock knock, I am the woke police. I heard that one of you said that I don' know that it's bad that girls in South Hall were killed. You have to go to jail now and it's like n as well. million comments. this is fucking class leard classge. ye you know funny things. say like after he got cancellled canceled. Yeah fine. like But before he'd started doing that did the magic. So maybe like four years ago might have even been like sort of twenty nineteen pre lockdown I did a gig with him. Oh yeah. I did like some shit kind of art cent in the middle of nowhere, one hundred and fifty quid each. Um, you know and he wasn't on the circuit much, but he'd kind of had his You know, a bigig career was able to tour doing lot telli and then being cancellled and, you know, was just doing stuff like this with me who'd been going like five years R, you know, just starting to get paid work And I remember like seeing him on the bill be like, fuck, that's the gu Right. And you know, sort of being a bit nervous of like, oh he's probably going to think I'm like left wing, which which I am, but like like he's probably going to think he's probably going hate me because I' probably representing if he dislikes. And I'm I was like, God, he might be mad. He might say some mad shit in addressing him. it might be weird. And honestly It was like a fucking Vietnam war there. L he came in the room and he's like visibly shaking like they can't make I conts I' like you h me, And I remember like when the MC went out the room, he was like, you've probably read about me and you don't like me, dear. I was like, fununny you should say that. I was like, I don't know. Yeah yeah yeah. It was like papers twist every. And I was like Uhhuh. Yeah. and then he went on stage and you know, just just did like some like very like like inoffensive material about his. Yeah, yeah, yeah. this is the thing with so many of those like cancellled comedians. It's like that none of their material Is right wing or mad? Right. They would just say something mental on Twitter being like, there's too many Muslims in this country and then' be like, Oh what, you don't like my comedy. It's like, Y your comedy is about getting on the tube. L No one's trying to fuck it comedy is about self service checkout. Exactly. Yeahah None of them have got right wing comedy. None of them can write right wing comedy. They write normal comedy like none of my comedy is particularly left winged.. We just do observational comedy about getting through life But my misses Yeah you know I wind up. Oh the fucking timestamp lads be losing their mind at this pointucking t to Andrew Lawrence twenty eightob Yeah, but anyway, Andrew Lawrence. if you see him on Twitter dressed up as a policeman arresting someone for saying that there are more than two genders orate whatever he says, like that's not me. I've not gone mad yet. That's Andrew Lawrence. Is that his name That' his name Wayne Lin Lin is the Lin Dppel ganger. He's that to Gary and I think we can start by watching a bit of Wayne I I'm not sure how I want to Kit Wayne. As I say, I think he is as close as anyone' comes to doing the Peter Pan thing of like stay young forever. live live liive a young man's life forever. He has got children. He's got grandchildren. and like he's got a very sweet relationship with his grandkids. Yeah he's got a grandson called Freddy. who is is who's like In fact I've beenllow Wayyicor on Instagram for ten years I've gone from watching this kid and like without sounding like Nony, but like I remember him like being like, this is my grandon, Freddy, chip off the old block, Fred. And you know, it's a picture of him with his kid. and the kid's like thirteen, fourteen, but the kid already had like an unbuttoned like shirt and like a six pack and I was like, this kid's fucking dangerous. J I remember looking at a picture I'd be like I know a kid that likes to set tits when I see one. I' never be like this kid is gonna to be fucking dangerous one day. That a tits like a For shit, sixix years later this kid is now a DJ Hench' fuck. Yeah like DJs at Ocean Beach. and like it was so funny the arc wayay hiss grason went on and being like this thirteen year old kid who was soaking to being in every photo unb button, show your show off for the C Then like like at seventeen, it's like young Fred's asking if he can come to the club with me. his parents won' be happy, but you know, don't tell him come on, Fred. Now it's like Freddie's too cool to hang out with Grand At can barely get a photo with Fred this day Fred, Fred, comet get a photo when he's like fuck off. Fred can't come me with a photo because his mouth' so full of tit..red' having to speak to one of the Stehen Arkin maches because his mouth just constantly fall No Grad Dad, I will not I will not I will see you at O Beach. Fred, take out you aboutl. Come on, lad., if you j Fred. How you gott get a lost maybe and there have all those tits in there, Fred Fuck off, old man. Fuck you old man Winaka. He spends most of his summer at his resorts's kind of like his pool party bar resort thing in I called Ocean Beach. and basically to do some of the background ts, we've got some clips from his socials, we've got bits and bobs, but one thing I do want to show that there was a documentary made and it's always, you know Whenever there's a documentary made about someone, it's important to see who made a documentary. Yes. Now this is a documentary that was made by let's have a look Wayne Liner TV. The YouTube channel. five hundred and twenty three subscribers. I'm one of them, brother. And what was so it's like a sort of you can watch this, It's twenty minutes on YouTube and it's like a day in the life of Wayne Linaker. Yeah. It's obviously made by Wayne Linaker, made by, you know, whoever's doing it is fuckingayne made by Wayne's in house production team. But what's really funny is they could have done it a million ways. The way they did it, they decided to do it Almost like a kind of Louis Th presenter led documentary. Yeah. But the presenter they got is just this guy called Slji. Hey man, fucking Sji. And he's like he's just like classic Iitha middle European. Yeah, like this kid could be from Croatia Bulgaria. I'm just in I'd be there for the summer to listen to the fucking children I'm so twenty four seven here man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. and this guy like when you see him, it's exactly what you're picturing. He's got a sort of quiff, like sunglasses that might as well be fucking glued to his face don't come off. sort of somewhat too long t shirt. You know that long length stuff. A less long length t shirt And the funnest thing is he wears this bit of jewelry It's like pendant, It's like a gold chain and the pendant is an airpod Yeahes,ome this is a clip from Sergie leading Wayne Linaka around. and it's like we all know we' all see Waynes stories. We We know that Wayne is always part of you at an Ocean beach with me B best, he's having a good time But this is a kind of behind the scenes of how he actually lives. and I was quite surprised. So this is Sgie being led around the hotel that Wayne lives in. like you would assume he owns multiple bars in Ibitha. Is there half the year every year. You assume he has a property there. No He's basically like a warm weather Allan Partridge living in a hotel. And this is a little segment. It's brereakfast time and we're having a dayay in the life with Wayne Linaker This is his hotel he lives in Tell too. If everyone else is on holiday, I think I'm the only crazy person that' What else is on a holiday? So's got a handheld cameras. what does Wayne Linaker eat for breakfast pairres? Wayne Linaker always has the same thing. Cheese, tomato, and onion omelet, fresh to made by way. So they think fresh. Is it all inclusive buffet? Yeah, he's going up. It' my favorite Okay The detops. Aisten. A normally spillet but I see. A normally spillet. Wh was green juice. Oh, that was flawless. Beautiful. It's what happens when you have an early night. Yeah yeah. You don't shake. more of me bad. Looks a surgy bad.. So we're done with the green juice. That looks potent. That this is the secret ingredient That's the classic like European p boy thing excited by I've been in visa for ten days and I feel like if I lived here, it's dangerous. I would lose control. So how often do you live here? Do you live here all year round? Nove. They're showing pastries at the buffet, like it's like the most jagant thing you could ever imagine. Oh pastry. That's way, I would lose control of most of the ps It just falls apart with ar the line I mle class. The line that I really wanted to include there was and again, it's A lot of these people are funniest when they're not meaning to be. It's Wayne it'sne good. That's what happened of an early night. You don't shake as much. Yeah. We've talked about Wh' like? We've talked about psychologically revealing stuff. Imagine being on a documentary that by the way, you've commissioned about yourself. No one's making you do this and being like, just in the first fifty four seconds be like, I'm an alcoholic by the way It's really bad. I normally spill this I normally spill this greep. I mean what's amazing is earlier like one of the first bits of that documentary again, self funded, self made right? the first bit Sergeie comes to meet him like outside the hotel or whatever. And he's like, wow, nice fucking car Wayne Cool Bentley. And then there's like a mess down the door. And he's like, What's this Wayne? And Wayne's like, All right. I took a girl out for dinner the other day. She got a bit too pissed and she vomited out the window of my car. Yeah. I was driving a girl home to my house that was too drunk to make consensual decisions. Well well yeah, I mean, see this is the thing and this is the hard thing with this is like I don't want to sit here and just slag off W Linic because. I think he does get slagged off a lot. and I I think he lives a life that we can all sit him and go, Oh, B bloody Wayne, what's she doing just fingering girls all summer? It's like, yeah, okay, be honest with yourself, mate All of us Every man, there is a part of your brain that wants to live like this. Age sixty two thirty three And I kind of wantna That's the tragedy though, isn't it? like you said, I agree. I think he's The tragedy, I think that you're trying to portray is that like you assume that when you get to sixty two, you're not gonna to want to do this, right? Right? There's a lot of things. I'm not sure how I want to do it now. of you A little bit If you had two bears, it mean youn't have two beers in the sun right now. And I was like, immagine if we could just fucking transport ourself and be a beefer. You'd fucking want it. There is a part of even your brain. There's a part of Even your brain. I remember when I was I think this is the real Jesit Mark Corrigan moment of the pod you that once There's a slit Like I remember when I was I remember when I was like a kid when I was like, I don't know, like eleven or twelve. I always thought to myself I was like I reckon eighteen, you're definitely an adult And then as I got to like twelve, thirteen, I was like, o maybe not by eighteen, but definitely by twenty one, I'll be like an adult. I'll be a man. I'll be like nearly married, I'll be like own a house, blah blah. And I remember thinking, I was like, and my brain will just be completely different. All the fucking mad shit I think now, all the horny stuff, all the drinking, all like the m stuff I was doing thirteen, I was like, by the time I'm eighteen I wouldn't do that. but I'm time I' twenty one. And also you get six twenty one. Yeah yeah But then you're even more so. That's a good point. And then you go,h, but by thirty thirty it all stop by thir one. Nope, no. Nope, I get myself awake. thirty three years old, two kids like and like there is a thing about the male brain, I don't think it does change. And I've said to my dad, I remember like I just said to my dad in the place I'm like o, God, I't what to do myself. What am I doing as I get older? What will I do? Should I do this? S I live here? Shall I do that? How do I do that? blah blah? I remember my dad being like. I can give you advice but I can't give you any answers becausecause he was like, My dad has said this to me in the past. he's gone, I don't know what to tell you to do when you grow up because I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Tangential wisdom Bell. Yeah,s that's that's for Brian Yeah. he's not dead not dead He's upstairs. but that is like I don't I think when I'm that age, yes, there will still be a part of me that wants to do. I could have two beers right now And I'd want to fly there and do this. I get that. I understand that. But I also think like, I get anxious when I'm hungover now. I can't imagine how anxious I'm gonna to be when I'm hung overver when I'm sixty two. I think the answer might be Juice. Have you watched twenty minutes of this documentary? 'cause I'm the same as you. I'm like, how the fuck? ' I's in good shape. I can't do two days I can't do two days anymore. And I'm looking at him and I'm like fuck He honestly cannot go an owl without a juice. He owns a restaurant in Iitha called Skinny Kitchen. nice And I they go there to like get a meal. And the first thing Sergei, the fucking like goatey bearded little fucking party boy, the first thing he says is wow, all the staff here are so attractive, Wayne. And he's like, yeah. We're absolutely complliant with the new labour. It's like like you can see what's quite funny is because Sergei's just sort of following Wayne around for a day. Yes. You can see that like in a few clips, he starts slowming down Wayne does. He y kitchen blood. It gets into's like two juices. Well he's up forget, he's like, let's go. I honestly think it might be juice. I mean, I went to I went to I I've been I've done itb through a couple of times I've done it different ways. I went one in lockdown where it was more sort of like house parties and stuff and then I sort of did it more proper couple of years ago with a few mates And I remember like you know, we're out there for like five nights. Right. And I remember, you know, before you go, it's like, yes, we're gonna do this, then that, then this,'s do that? I remember like after the first night, you know, up until like seven in the morning, got up at like twelve the next day and I was like, I remember I was dead Right I was like, what the fuck am I gonna How we gonna to get through this? Yeah, And I remember everyone said they were like ' because I was like just laying on the sun lann and I was like, I need to go and get coffee. I need to go and get a fucking to do something. we wandered into town and like got a coffee and diet Coke and I remember everyone was like, you look like a puppet. They were like, you looked like someone had dropped the strings of a puppet. And then when you had a diet cooke, it's like someone picked them up again How it up But what I quite like about him as well? so he A lot of his stuff is around kind of San Antonio. kindon of different parts of Be love Be toown. And I think if you look at where he goes in like O Beach and San Antonio, There's not much of that anymore But when we were growing up, when we were getting to like eighteen nineteen and we went on our Lad holidays. Yeah. So I did Falaraki, you know, stayed there. ended up working a couple of seasons out there. But like M m would go to Magaloof, there was Zanti, there was Malia, Aya Napa. Yeah Sunny Beach, Bulgaria. they like and there's definitely loads I'm missing out. There was loads of these places where You know, you'd pay like, I don't know, three four hundred quQid for like a week including flights. You'd take five hundred Qid with you, you'dnd I don't know, like between fifteen and seventy quQid and I get absolutely fuck trolley. Oh my god, like vomiting falling over yourself. It was a dream. and that's exactly what you wanted. And you know this was a time kind of, not pre smartphones, but kind of. And like you know, one mate would bring a digital camera. You know you take pictures at the end of the week, someone would upload them to Facebook and mayaybe not that one with my cock out. Do you know what I mean? Album title would be Falaraki twenty twelve, whatever And I don't see that in the G Zs now. I don't know if they're doing that. I feel like they're much more Let's saave up and go to Marbea. let's save up and go to Mykonos. and I don't dout they're having a drink while they're out there. But it feels like much more of an attempt at living a kind of luxury holiday And my theory would be with the aim of documenting all of it as it's happening. one hundred percent That's why. And I thinks I think whereas you went on a holiday that you expressly didn't really want people to document I wanted bits hidden. Right. But you know, turn the fucking camera off for this bit man bigig Dave's got his arse out. Do you know what I mean? It was that. Whereas I feel like now it's I want to take selfies in the airport. I want to, you know, do an Instagram live. makeake sure you got snapchat when we're paying for the two hundred pound bed at this ocean beach. you know what I mean?? Be I went to Cor Fu like two years ago And o no, was it Rhads I went to, sorry. And that was Falabaki Yeah, Falaki was around the other side of the island and so we were in justing like hotel on the beach And the first morning that we were there, someone who'd arrived like Odd R bus, they were sat near us on the beach. And this is an agended thing, but in this situation It was the female of the couple made her boyfriend do I think like at least an hour and a half's worth of photos in the sea So she's like in the sea, she's doing various poses, she's doing like kind of all different kinds of things, cheeky ones, splashing around ones. and when he didn't get it right or when he didn't land the light properly, she was giving this guy oth barrels. Really bad. like that's fucking shit stuff. L I'm not saying she's completely representative of all people that age. She's a good bit younger than us. I think like five or six years younger than us. is what women are like What I'm trying to say, yah is Women are nagging, right? That's what I'm saying No, but you know what I mean? like their holiday and it was the first thing, it was the first morning. You're still kind of like, you don't really over know where the buffet is kind of thing, right? And it was like, this is what I'm here for. I need probably pictures on by lunchtime. Like it was that kind of thing. And I just felt a bit sorry for her anyw. I know that's a patronising, condescending thing. but it was like I talking I something I want to read you about this. Well I'm just like too old to feel that pressure anymore. Like I don't really care whether people see me in nice or cool places, Emma doesn't have any social media. I think we just like Obviously we have social media for work and stuff like that. You don't want to sound snobbish towards No. And I get it. like I get that you want to share like I'm having my one week of the year where it's really nice. I work really hard. L I do get it. and it's not I'm not saying I'm above it or exempt from it. my aloofness is just as conspicuous as they kind of doing it all the time But it was just like really notable to me, Do you know what I mean? Like' years ago it just wouldn't have been like that. Yeah. and I don't want to sound obviously every generation looks back at their own youth and thinks it's more wholes. you know, for us We were maybe the first generation who, when we were like a little bit younger than that, had games consoles. Right. And our parents would have been like, God, they just glued to that. Yeah, ye box. When we were young, we were we out of touch? No, it's the kids who are wrong. Yeah,ight. And now now we're sat going, God, when we were twenty one, we were out fish bowls, vomiting on you know street corners, getting fights, having sex in bushes, whereereas now they're taking photos. Yeah. Isn't that horrendous We were present. we We were in the moment. you know, I'll get mud but there is actually a poem I want to read which is literally about that. So here we go. a big poem. Yeah,'s. O of my I don't read much stuff like this, but this is one like So you know, what you were saying about this like this girl who you saw who was like her boyfriend's ph? It's like, why? Why not be in the moment I knew a girl whose one goal was to visit Rome. When she finally got to Rome, all she did was post pictures for people at home because all that mattered was impressing everybody she's known. I know another girl that's crying out for help. Her latest caption is Leave me alone. I know a girl happily married till she puts down her phone. I know a girl that saves pictures from places she's flown to post later and make it look like she's still on the go He's up by Drake B It's what you'll say Kendrick hasn't really captured the I don't think we've ever given Kendrick a wisdom bad, actually. No, and we'd ever will. But bit that is Wayne is like a bit of a throwback in that respect. He's present, he's in the moment. He's getting fuckub culture. although O Beach is a place that people post pictures from to show that they're having it large, right? But he's more hedonistic, I think People do that We like this is there's there's a juvenileist and there's a youth to wan that I And maybe it is tragic that he still wants to be like that at sixty two. Yeah. There's also a part me that's like, is it not just beautiful? like the little boy is still there. I mean, like could we just watch this TikTok? Yes, A again, he put this on his own TikTok. I've seen this before. I thought someone had edited this. You thought this was made up real. And there is a bit of self awareness at the end of this. that's genuinely very funny. So he's doing a dance on TikTok The caption is ten things I couldn't live without. Jake could read out the ten things So he says I beata. partarties Cream eggs. That speelt wrong. Music. HP sauce. Nandos Vinegar. Worldies, Instagram Testosterone injection. That's very funny That Music is so funny. Music coming after C makes is so fun that feels like. You know that when you're twelve and you make a Bibo account and it's like you have to put what you like and it's like, music and my mates thing that he likes I like incredibly specific food stuffs, all all like the most general concepts it's like saying I like without vinegar. Yeah, I like joy. And I likeking Kona hot sauce. That's what I like. Th thoseose are my two things that I'm into Nothing in between. I like the concept of melancholy and nostalgia and I like having mushy peas. That's just that way Cream eggs. He smellt it cream as in. cream like double cream as well, which is just amazing. Maybe he's talking about a different thing. He's talking about having hard boiled eggs drowned in double cream. the hotel I'm staying at they sometimes get the own acc clueses a bit wrong and they just having them make an oelet. They just put some boiled eggs in a bit of cream, but you know After a juice because if I don't have a juice I't w. I have my usual please surgegy, couple of cream eggs I don't think they do chocolate. No no. No not chocol g chocolate Not good for me joints bit creream, I'll be right That's so funny. Iag you sat other paul and I beat there. I just e a bit Derry. I did a bit Derry to say I fucking struggled. But yeahne Wayne does have this joyful juvenile quality to him. You know, we've discussed with people that are like trapped in their own social media presence, like the Hawk too is kind of like she has she is the character And she can't be any other else now she has to be that thing. that She's made that Faustian bargain. I don't get any sense that there's that kind of tension in him. Like he is very much himself. He's fully in He feels no pressure to grow up I don't think he wants to be at home reading the latest John Grisham in Licester. And if we watch the next clip, I mean this is he obviously like we mentioned earlier he like he runs Ocean Beach Yeah and Uh But he's also like As you say, it's like he's doing the suuper Hands and Jazz thing of like can we'll just be in the pub all the time? Yeah I'll just go to Ocean Beach It kind of is. So say I mean, like this is them talking about how he runs it. And I will quickly say on the Patreon group chat, which by the way, has been giving Oh my God it live recently. we as me and a few hundred others were very active during the most recent arsenal game and just spent the whole arsenal game talking to each other. Is that sad? maybe? No, But I mentioned on there that we were going to do Wayne Liner, you know give us some lore, give us some info And someone was like, Don't be too hard because he's sorting me and the boys out a couple of tables at Ocean Beach. That's a hot commodity. And he actually screenshotted somehow either him this patron of us, either him or his mate had got Wayne's number. and was talking directly to Wayne to get tables sorted at Ocean Beach. and Wayne was like You've got your two tables boys. you getting, you know, entry for free, this for free, that for free and a wristband. And then he put at the end, he was like, but please make sure you buy a couple bottles, otherwise I'll in loads of trouble. And then like monkey hand horizon. I'll be in trouble Oh bloody el. you're the fucking owner. You're the owners in trouble. So I get the impression that like as much as he is the owner I do think there are some adults who are running it and letting him be the f. yeah, I don't think Wayne's doing the spreadsheets. No. Wayne's not working out the staffing he's talking about that in this and this is a clip between him and this guy. I can't remember what this guy's name is, but this I remember foer Danny Simpson. Well so I've been following Wayne, as I say intently for yearsntently He was a real lockdown guy. I think he was one of the heroes of lockdown and I think it was spepecifically men in this country You know, the wolf inside of us was really barking for a bit of Ocean beach. Now Now that the fucking you don't need vaccine passports, you can fly whenever you want. I've never been less interested in Ocean Beach But when I thought I couldn't, I was like, I need to get to Old Beach if I don't get a fucking cocktail in me. Oh I need to get to Old Beach O Beach on the interneted. So one of those summers, I think it was maybe like twenty twenty three when it was sort of half opening, basically back there But everyone want to go. Wayne spent his summer with this guy. I don't know who this guy's name is R. But I remember basically this guy is like Like don' know, twenty eight thirty. and just sort of spent his summer running around ocean beach and a befa sort of filming himself, drinking The finance stream wasn't clear. He's now sponsored by the Saudi government. Yeah., well he has now made his way to Dubak And I just remember like Wayne being like, this is M besti. name I can't remember his name, but he's like this Mesti Paser. Oh, I love I'm gonna to help Faser.s just there's an energy to this guy. When you're around him, you feel it and kept saying it was like, there's just an energy. I've got to be around him. his energy is infectious.'s like yeah, he's twenty eight He's anic proble. What is it about this guy's energy? God? He's like? He's twenty eight and he's on cocaine Wayne. That's his energy. What is it about this guy? B, I'll tell you what, I get up in the morning if feel' tired sometimes I' meet this guy for a drink, I've a lot better. He's like yeah gives cocaine. We twenty we go for a walk. This guy can walk for like two or three kilometers without stopping. It' crazy. this is this guy and Wayne talking about how How Wayne does manage to run Ocean Beach? Yeah, this is Wayne's business practices at Ocean Beach How much work do you actually do on a day to day basis? Pe must wonder like Where does Wayne have to be? What does he actually have to do? Nothing. Absolutely not. I don't even have to go to Ocehip I want to but I want to go because I enjoy it. But yeah, I mean people think I'm working all the hours of the day and I arranging this arranging that creating this and creating that, the events, the stuff wrote this I don't know nothing. Absolutely nothing That's glass man. That is fucking quality Thats glass All the grind set cunt for all the wake up at four AM righter to do looase, drink some water, make a plan. putut your face in a bowl of ice water That is one of the Yeahah, yeah, yeah, exactly fucking Ashton Hall. Yeah. That is one of the most successful people in I don't know, events in Europe. that is one of the most The man most synonymous with getting on it in a beefer, the most expensive and successful getting on it town in Europe. Yeah. What did he do? That' love it really That's what's class about Wayne is he doesn't really have much pretense about him. he's very like childli or sweet in that way. There's not much veneer to him for better or worse.'s is. Not much of a veneer, not much fakeness to the man with a fake hairline, fake teeth hormone injections. His face is the size of Simon C. There's just an authenticity to that man who's literally made out of plastic Most humans are sixty percent water. Whaaling is sixty percent silicone. but there's just something really real about him I'm just genuinely, I'm I am I am. What you see is what you get, apart from my hairline, my teeth, my biceps that are physically implanted, I can't take my shirt off because otherwise my tits will fall out and you know, everything I say is a lie. But apart from that, I'm just who what you see get what you see is what you get. I've got so many besties That's true. But I appreciate that honesty. He didn't say, oh, well, of course I'm doing I' making cont. And I mean, that's always been the case. I remember, I mean, this is twenty twelve, he went viral and this is a tweet he put. And again, there's a level of like honesty that I think people resonate with. In twenty twelve, a tweet of his went so big. This tweet is very often on flags at festivalsight. He tweeted My bro again, bro bro He would have been fifty something. talk about Gary Liny. He's tal about. My bro is doing and he spoke doing DOIN. Nice. My bro is doing the big Olympic ceremony and I'm wankkered in a beher. been on it all day and I've lost my flip flops. Where did it all go wrong, Gary Wisdom Bell for Wayne It's wonderful. What about Christmas aroundound there how? but what we I don't think they speak. They do they know? No, I know. I don speak. I don't think they speak and it' it's Carry couldn't Gary Gary Gary Gary Linaker couldn't be the clean face of the centrist dad. It couldn't be the most popular Romaniac with a zoom mic in this country outside of Alistter Campbell in the other. Here I am stuck in the middle waiting for a calm centrist party to come and save us from this political mess. be that guy and be like C't twist now from an oce for ten juices and a gram of Coke two bold eggs and a pint of double cream But we what we should I think What we should address and I think 'cause this guy's a bit of a hero and you know, I have that I've got that dog in me. can you do? My wolf still yaps. You got that dog. My wolf still yaps for the life of the freedom I still want to go to a beher again. Yeah. I mean, last time I went it was a fucking a shit show. It was't I had a really good time. doesn't mean you want a shit show, brother. It descended into chaos in a way that it shouldn't. I won't go into too many details, but Don't leave it at that. I know the details. You can't go into them. I think you've been into them before on this podcast say We S of people, we had a really nice villa We went out to your twwitchter Look at him fucking time. It's not even a good story. fucking It doesn't add anything Oh my God, it's a good story. It's a good story if you're in prison. I If you're in Pentonville, it would be good story. we go out we're doing all sorts. We're one of the biggest clubs. We get back to this really nice video that we'd had for a few days that someone has sorted out for us, we were mad. We were like four days in mad. One of the lads we're with who's known for being a bit mad went mad and was ninety nine percent certain that we'd been broken into and someone has stolen his passport. Would you believe we' just left a window open and he put his passport in the wrong bag? Yeah. He was so mad about it he had all of us marching around this villa armed with knives, looking for the burglar who must have gotten in. We've disturbed a burglar and he still got the passport. While this had happened, someone else we were with had called in and, you know This guy single, it's not an issue and it was all consensual. He'd called in two sex workers to come and visit him at the villa that we were all in. We' marched around with knives. the sex workers are on their way. There had to be a conversation where someone said, please put the knives down before the prostitutes get here. make sure their tits are covered on those. My son's gonna be right in there seex workers arrive. you know, I mean, it's like I've never been around a sex worker before. I don't know what to do. played a bit of music on on a Bluetube speak. Yeah had a cigarette. I guess. you know me and the other lads who are in relationships decided it was bedtime pretty soon. Yeah' Well what did happen is But One of the lads who was a bit mad, who was the one who was like, we need to get knives out and chase a burglar that doesn't exist.ure So he'd been addressing his madness at the time and you knew I had to tell this story if we're doing Wayne Lin Yeah. He'd addressing his madness. and so he had downloaded the was was the men's mental health at the meditationpace headadpace. He'd got the headpace app on and He had his turn with a sex worker. Okay. and then went into his room, he'd had enough and left the sex worker with one other guy This mad guy went in the room and you know we've been on it for days, the sex worker, it's all a bit much. And so he decided to start playing the headspace app to try and help him sleep Whilst doing that, it smoked something, did something else, went more and more and more mad. and then he heard noises in the other room that were confusing him a bit. He turned off the headspace app. In the other room he could hear a male Spanish voice. speaking to the sex workers who are speaking back in Spanish At this point, the mad guy thought, o my God, what's happened is the pimp who would have been nearby has come in, killed my mate, taken all of our money and our stuff and he's probably going to start killing the rest of us soon. At that point he plugged the headspace app into the Bluetooth speaker to get it as loud as possible to try and fix the demons in his brain.. What was actually going on Is in the other room, the last man standing who was left with two sex workers was trying to negotiate with them what they wanted because they kept asking for something I't understand. And he was using Google Translate on his phone. That's where the male voice speaking in Spanish was coming from. It was his And they're going is that Andy Puddderam talking about? Yeah exactly. What's going on there? The negotiation that was taking place in that room, they kept saying to see, T see It turned out they had some two CB, the hallucinogenic drug, but they couldn't take it unless the last man standing paid for it. The last man standing paid for it, too much was taken, the girls went mad I don't want to go into too much detail. Oh no, you've not got into too much detail. Don't worry about that. A condom was placed on this man's foot and the foot went to places that you wouldn't expect. Sure And that's why I'm not dying to go back to it be through the moment This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responssees set upp required compatibility and availability varies eighteen plus Yeah That's why two years on, I'm still looking at Wayne being like, that must be fucking good juice, mate. And I'm not talking about the hormone injection.re st you yourre drinking to get you through two day sessions after like that happening at night You must There must be a lot of avocado in there He seemingly relatively serene mental health. How is he maintaining that? Is he that's the? Well and I think what we should address, we should go in a minute, but what we should address is like there are people who will be like, he's creepy. he's the whole kind of want ofated a lot, right? And the stuff around women is and we should play a video which which was in the Daily Mail of all the people to fucking and be like, This guy isn't great with women. is he like pot kettle daily mail out. They showed this video which is Wayne in his u In Ocean Beach the venue he owns Deciding which doll, I think is the word he uses Dream Which dream doll he's going to take on a date that evening and this is how he chooes his dream doll to date. which dre doll sanitizes his hands, and they're all standing by the edge of the pool He's pushing them in the pool. That's his way of rejecting them and saying I don't want to date you tonight. You're going in the pool and I'm choosing purely based on who I'd like to date. It's kind of like take me out. Yeah. but somehow more toxic. somehow weirder wo left, they're screaming It's not clear whether they're screaming because they w want to get picked or they'd rather get thrown in the water than go on a date with.!. But she's going I am the champion, arrms round Wayne. and like we should say those women, they're consenting adults emmployed by Wayne. Yes I don't know, I think it's somehat patronising on the women to assume this is a fucking sex trafficking thing. Like it's game. They're having a laugh. Yeah He's joking. in the same way that he you know, when he says my tenth favorite thing in the world is Yeah. And also like if you want a kind of respectful and normal workplace environment I don't know that you'd go work at O Beach, would you?ight? I wouldn't be my first choice if the fucking labor party. ye if I wanted a run of like obviously they should be treated with respect and like they should be paid on time, et cetera. But like the whole point of working at O Beach is that it's kind of a bit mad, right? And it's like I get to be in social media and I get that kind of thing. I don't think any of them have been made to perform this little skit, I guess, maybe if they have, then that's shit. But like Is it just because of the age gap as well? or is there people int making this? I mean, it's the age gap. It's the power dynamic that he is their boss. He owns the place like maybe, you know, o you're not getting paid tonight, darling. if you're not going be one of the dream dolls. But I just I don't know, I just don't get that vibe. and when when like Obviously predators come in all shapes and sizes and I'd be terrified that there are genuinely serious allegations against this guy that we're ignoring. I've not seen any You know, he dates women younger than him You know, I think age cp relationships always difficult to like Because like I know people in age gap relationships Yeah and it's like they love each other very I don't know. when it's your boss, I guess it's C Royys coming out to bat for way Lita. No just I think what we're trying to say is it might not be as simple as the old creep is is being a predator around young girls. I fucking hope not. Iope we really hope not. And we condemn him if he does, but like you watch him, as I say, I watch this twenty minute thing The Geazer can barely walk without a glass of oil aspect of it does seem overplayed, right? Like he's like the joke is that he's kind of an old but like he's not actually doing this He's frail, but like you know And there was a video e went viral last sumer of someone fucking punching him. and like like someone punches him, knocks him to the floor. I mean, apparently knocks him out, I don't know. And then like one of their fucking asshle friends sort of like jumps on the floor and goes W too f. Wow. You could have killed him, I just Yeah, he's a creep, but like Theres waste creep like there is. Yes. Society has always had its crep. Right, right. And I think so long as there' in the right place L The problem with Jimmy Savill is he worked for the BBC and was around children. An even nense Yeah. But like, do you know what I mean? Like like He's hiding in plain sightay. He's where you'd expect him to be. He's a club owner and I bea. It's not sinister If he's presenting CBBs, I've got an issue with you If I'm dropping off my kids at a Chminder and he's turning up, yeah, yeah, I'm not over the mood. And specifically like in that video, right? like I don't know about his conduct outside of it, but like the idea that his social media presence where there are these employees around him That is all Professionalrestling, right? That's all like, he's not actually saying Bingo m He's not actually being like, I'm gonna take this woman out on a date and she's gonna have sex with him. I would say that's the longest he stood up all day and after that someone ran to him with an Avocado smoothie and a glass ofange juice and an eggs for some t. Like if he is in O Beach and like he's going around trying to like touch up women or men or whatever he's doing as in the place then obviously that's it horrendously grim. his social and I don't well, yeah, as far as we're aware he doesn't his social media presence being like, I'm a bit of a letharia when it's like, no, you know, you're sixty year old man. Like we can all appreciate that. We could alsous spend our disbelief, I think, on that. And I think I think that's kind of like I don't think he's quite playing the pantomime villain. Yeah, he's not far off. He's kind of playing the role. I think he's accepted that everyone thinks he's a bit of a nutter. Yes engagement. a sixty year old booze hound who didn't grow up, who's got a sleeve tattoo I think shorts on Yeah, fake biceps and a dodgy hairline and he likes girls in their twenties That's the character And he's playing up to it. I I think that's the thing. It's like being like eating with Todd. right fuck you know. He's a bit greedy, isn't he? It's like, yeah, he's eating with Todd. Like, yeah, that's the thing Yeah That's the caricature. and's He's playing the caricature of an IBa club owner Yeah that's never grown up. It's like someone being like, I don't really like the schooner score. He feels like an alcoholic. It's like, what's the point. Do you know what I mean? It's like that's the character. That's the role that he's playing and I feel like society needs these characters. We need these creeps. Right. And I think he's a good creep Yes.e would I want my daughter when she turns eighteen going on holiday and being like, I'm gonna sit at Wayne's table this year, Daddy? L I would become Liam Neeson and be eighty, so I wouldn't fucking put it past him. It's got a little fucking drip next to him. G an IV feed of green smoothie' be like But like when my daughter does, if she was to say to me like right, I'm going to go and sit on Wayne's Tabor It's like, well, yeah, I would travel across Europe like Liam Neen and Taken you know I've got a very specific set of skills and I will strangle anyone who gets in my way of stopping my daughters th that go list to this bodc But it's like, you know it's like the kind of It's like adolescence thing.'s like it's like, well, should like social media not exist, shouldh phones not exist? No, things like that are always going exist. You just have to be able to live in a world with them and notxtual contextual and exist around it. And I think that's what And yeah, I think like you say, he is a pantomime villain. ions are designed to boost engagement and make people go to his club. And it's a good pantomime. And it's a good pantime and I'm not angry about that pantomime. If secretly off stage that pantomime is Jimmy Savvelesque mayaybe it is, I have no idea, then that's obviously horrendous. But like him being a little weird creepy man who's like al old Darling, let's pretend we're boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't know. again, I've got beeach house property in Romford if you believe that that's true. Do you know what I mean?'s.. it also does say in that documentaryies like, A do five months in a be for seven months in Chigwell and the surgery's like, what are you getting up to in Chigwell? He's like, notot much I'll be honest People want to hang out with me less when I'm not at Ocean beach, would you believe? When I can't get you two bottles a greater was for the price of one, I get far less text messages I think that's it. I think' he's playingys, Wayne Linaker apologists. This is it. Yeah, we get accused of an awful lot on social media. Someone' like I don't think they like people in Liverpool. It's like, we like Liverpool What have we said that? Huh? Have we said that? I think so that. I think we said something about Hrleypool last week. What can you do Everyone's so woke these dayays do Jake. It's the woke police. I'm here to get you. Andrew Lawrence In Andrew Lawrence's latest skit, he defends wait a W in a That' do it. Thanks very much, ladies gentleen, we'll see you next week. Hot the Roters Uncovered windows can make your home feel up to twenty degrees hotter. Stay cool, and save up to fifty percent off custom window treatments during the fourth of July mega sale at blinds dot com From outdoor shades to room darkening blinds, finding the perfect fit is easy. Get free samples, expert design help, and professional measure and install services, or DIY with confidence and support every step of the way shhop up to fifty percent off sitewide, plus huge savings on doorbusters right now during the fourth of July megaale at blinds. com You want to get your backyard summer ready, but you don't want to break the bank? 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