Career Advice and Finding Happiness

On any journey using Uber, it helps to know you're getting into the right car. Pin verification adds an extra step to make sure your ride is your ride. Before the trip begins, your app gives you a unique pin. Just tell it to your driver and they'll enter it in their app before the ride can start. Hey, what your pin Two, five, three, eight That way you know you're in the right car taking the right trip, and your driver knows you're the right passenger. Make sure your ride is your ride with pin verification from Uber. One more way Uber is putting safety at every turn. Learn more on the Uber app. It is Tuesday, june twenty third. I'm here With Joy Bejar. She's dressed all in black I always like to wear black. I know, because I'm all about the earrings. Yes. It's orange. I was gonna to wear an orange jacket today. We're on an orange run. so Anna was all in orange on the last podcast with heroney Dujour. I think it was the Kicks was definitely orange. I know that's not having anything to do with you're wearing orange. The newew of Knickerbackers No. First of all, I was trailing you on the way to the podcast studio. And as we go here, we go through various we pass by people in their offices, their cubicles, and you're having conversations that were not really appropriate for. what was I saying? Something about your breasts. I wasn't really sure or somebody else's breasts. I couldn't hear I was No, I was not heard. Yeah, outside when we were walking down. you were hearing things. No, no, I know what I heard And then the last time we were doing the podcast, you just stole food from somebody Well, that I did do. You did that. Yes. I did that because somebody had some high protein thing on their desk and I needed it. 'Cause I'm light headed. I get you something, you know, You don't have to like this is not L misarabola. I mean, you're not stealing to eat. More, please, M. Oliver. Over All right, you just mentioned you wanted to plug your plays. bonkers in the borough september second. Th through the six at the Bay Street Theater. That's right the Bay Street Theater in Sag Harbor. Yes. I'm going to be in two. there are five playses We have I believe now we have just booked Carson Kresley. No. for we. Illana Douglas, you know her? I do. me. We have Vanne Cox, who is great. Ver funny. So we have a wonderful cast, Bob Kucciol, people know him Craig Biero. And this cast is going we're going to do five different plays. Each one takes place in a different borow And they're funny. All right. I'm excited to Yeah, come see it again. Maybe I'll come out in September I'll a little busy becausecause we'll be getting the new season ready. Where would you say if you come out? 'use I can't st at my house ' I have one whole bedroom. I mean is in a flood I've known you for eleven years. I've yet to be invited to stately Behar M Mor. But I don't have a big house anymore. No, I know. Now I have a small condo. I did for ten years. I never gotten into. In one bedroom, there's a pool that was over my house. Y apartment. Y. And it flooded my bedroom. Yes. so I can't use it for three, four, five more months. All right, well, I'll stay at a hotel I guess. There's some nice hotels in You can afford it. I guess. You make plenty here. I do fine I'llay at Gurney' All right. Our JD Vance interview is the gift that keeps on giving. Last Thursday, he was in a press conference about Iran and said that the two of you were best friends. No, he did not. He did too. He said, we talked about this. He said that Now what he said was He was at the White House And he said J is harder to negotiate with than the Iranians. And now we're best friends. That's what he said at the time. Oh, well, I don't know about that. Yeah. He said you were this was hostile negotiations here at the View you're tougher to negotiate with and then it's funny that he wants to be friends with me. Why? I don't know. but I'm not a Republican. I never was. I never will be I'm a Democrat. No, but they don't approve of his positions. I don't definitely don't approve of Donald Trump and his positions. You're getting a little sensitive about this because I feel like people are giving you a hard time about the fact that you were not openly hostile to him. I was not I'm not openly hostile to anybody who's a guest on the show. That's true. Although you could attack me for saying that I walked off the air on on What's his name?illill O'Reilly. Yeah. But that is because he could not be reasoned with and he just kept saying Muslims or terrorists. Right Which annoyed me. It's like you can't say all of anybody is anything. Yes. And he was so annoying about it that I said, I can't sit here. But I also I know how you work and you like to get on the inside. I'm a little subversive. I think you are. I think you're trying to flip Jade Vance. I think that's your plan here. I think Well you know, people talk about how the parties and the people in this country are so divisive I would I think that I could help the situation because I have a way about me. I think you do. I had a manager who used to say describe me this way. Joy will tell you go yourself and you say, than you I trying to think thats happened. Yeah. S. There we go. what is it?s It's my sense of humor. I think it is. and I have to give it to him. The guy used the joke. He used it as a joke. He had a sense of humor. Yeah, which is a sign of something It's disarming if nothing else. Y. And if only he can get Iran to disarm That was it I think I can do that. I. I'll call the Ayatola. All right and get them.ll you'll talk him down. I will. You'll be best friends. All right, I'd like to point out something else that we announced today. Our show with Vice President JD Vance was the most watched episode of the View in over a year and a half.. who beat him before that? It was the day after the election where the whole world tuned in to see how you guys react to President Trump being elected a second time.. And it was our second highest rated show in five and a half years So over three million, I think three point three million I can see that. I mean, not everybody gets a sitting vice president to come on a daytime talk. You know, it shows you that, you know, our audience is brilliant because We sell books And somebody who is in the White House wants to come on our show to sell his books because he knows that our audience read is. Well, and also frankly him coming on, I think it was savvy for him to come on the view. He was talk about that interview was talked about all week long. He did a lot of interviews, but this is the one that people kept coming back to and talking about. Well they also coded me in one of my best lines. I think did I discuss this already? Not on the podcast which I said when he kept well, Trump said, blah, blah, blah. Well, he didn't mean that. He meant blah, blah, blah. And I said, what are you in his interpreter or his vice president? That got quoted a lot. Yeah. And I'll tell you why. because a lot of people on in his mega world in Congress are constantly explaining this guy because he says such crazy stuff all the time, Trump. Oh he didn't mean that. Oh he didn't he meant this. No Stop explaining what he said Take it for what it is. As Lucy said to Desi, you got a lot of splaining to do. Lucy. Today I want to tell you about our friends at Cozy Earth Can you remember the best night of sleep you've ever had? For me, o, it was last summer and the Amalfi Coast. It was unbelievable. Ocean breeze and Best sleep I've ever had. 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ABC secret saavings dot com slash BTT For fifty percent off the best beddting you'll ever sleep on That's ABcsecret saavings dot com slash BTT. Study and play! Come together on a Windows eleven PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the unreal college deal, everything you need to study and play with select Windows eleven PC's, eligible students get a year of Microsoft three hundred sixty five premium and a year of Xbox GamePass ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller Learn more at windows. com slash student offffer. Lw S supppplies last ends june thirtieth terms at aka. mS slash collllege PC Speaking of selling some books, this book is not going to need our help, but it's already number one Yeah. We had Maggie Harerman and Jonathan Swan here today to discuss regime change. Let's talk about some of the things they had to say today. They talked about how Trump is obsessed with being seen as the most powerful leader in the world historically Yeah And he said that during the meeting in the Oval Office relishing this idea that he was a Napoleonic figure. That he was comp in the same list as Hitler and Stalin and Gengis C and Gengus and Julius Caesar And it was not about their morality or their politics, but just the amount of power they wielded And then it turned out that this was the this whole formula was conducted by Katdy to famous golfer Gary player Um and you notice he didn't pick the pope Who has a lot of power? No, no. Okaykay. He didn't pick Mother Teresa who has a lot of power. But what do you make of the obsession with I think that it's the grandiosity Mgalomania. I mentioned that on the a that it's a megalomania. like I think I'm the greatest. It's like overc comppensation for something in your life that's small I will say he's certainly exerting more power in the presidency than any of the presidents in my lifetime I would say. I mean, he's pushing the boundaries of how much aident because he has the hutzpa to do it. That's why. And he's got all these toadies around him, all of these little you know, collaborators who say, yeah, okay, I'll go along with it because they need they want that power. And they know that when they're out of office, they're all going to make a lot of money as they all do after they get out of office.. And the legislative branch which usually, I think constitutionally really is the most powerful is K of taking a step back. Of course. And what about the Supreme Court? That is a disgrace. I never thought I would loveve to see this. I mean we went through people like You know, the the great the great people of the Supreme Court. It's just it's depressing really when you think about the collaboration that's going on. You know, none of these dictators that he feels so akin to did not have collaborators. They all had collaborators. Even Napoleon had Josephine He doesn't have a Josephie All right, you also asked about Trump's renovation projects, and Jonathan said that if you look at a pie chart of his mind P prettytty significant part of that is filled with interior design projects. This is one of the few things that he and my wife have in common though. Oh, reallyally? They both like to both like to really think about a lot of her mind is spent on regenerating Why do you think he's so into these renovations Well, it's part of his grandiosity and part of the lids gilded up, you know, like and make it mark Napoleonic. You have ever been to the palace of Versailles? I have. It is the tackiest. It's got so much ungapach. I like that mirror room. That was pretty impressive.. And of course, that was during the reign of you know, Marie Antoinette and Louis L fifte. Yeah. And she was beheaded. I believe he was too. I don't I wasn't there Although some people think I was. But you're in America but. He identifies with dictators And royalty. That's what he likes. thinkinks about himself. There's no content to it. He doesn't do anything to make anybody's life any better. All he does is gild the liily And that's why it does that. A lot of people don't know that Marie Antoinette said let the meat cake when she was guest hosting on the view. G her trouble. That was my first year here. Yeah, that was early. That was early. Man, the meetings I had to sit through after that, that was rough All right. so They ended a little bit with something kind of chilling, I thought. They said that the future is really unknown becausecause they don't think this administration will go away quiteet What did you make of that Well I hope that's not true. Yeah I'm praying that, you know, he resigns You know, he's He's unlikely. He's losing a lot of his popularity. When you've got a lot of the Republicans going out and Tucker Carlson says I'm not a Republican because I don't have not that I trust him. I was going to say I don't. I don't. He's a snake, but I'm just saying, I wonder if he's prepping his own run by doing that. He's Well, whatever whatever their self interest is they're jumping the ship A lot of them and he's down to thirty three percent approval rating. bad It'll be interesting because they were implying that even if he loses the party loses the midtermss badly Yeah and he no longer has the ability to do very much because of that he thinks they implied he they still might justust ignore subpoenas. they're really gonna keep p It'll be interesting to see what happens. Well, you know, people need to start looking into his psychology more. like I'm talking about his grandiosity, his megalomania. You need to look in the original wound. What is causing all of this psychotic behavior? We have to go back and examine his childhood. We need a role playay. It needs to be you and tri. He needs a psychorama. Okay I'm ready for it. Let's go through it. All right. so in other news, something that was kind of inspiring, I thought, the Obama Pidential center opened last week And Sonny gave it said it gave her a sense of pride And u sadness at the same time. Well just for what what we don't have right now Oh Well yeah. I mean, there are term limits they call them. Yes. But just the general vibe, I guess was something that Oh, yeah, we miss Obama. He was a classy guy. He, you know, he His heart was in the right place. And also the spirit of the speeches that were being given it was it was againlifting up lifting. Yeah You know, what do you make of it all Well, I miss him too. I said that on the air. I miss him a lot. It's heartbreaking to see how it went from that to this. in a way and how this country seems to be unraveling under the under the auspices of this of this megalomania and how much cooperation he's getting for it and you hope against That's why I don't agree with some of one of the topics we did today I think it was Chesney was it? O one of them said he doesn't think that people, everybody should speak out. I don't agree with that because if you have a platform, I feel you have an obligation as an American to speak out because I think that we're in a lot of trouble. This is not the Eisenhower years, which I lived through as a child And every the worst thing that Eisenhower got criticized for is he played golf too much. You know, But then when Kennedy came in, it was like, whoa, we have, you know, some new blood and everything and it was exciting And then LBJ escalated the Vietnam where things go in these cycles. R. And I believe that this cycle will soon over. I do believe. Well that's a good thing. I mean and you know History corrects something. It usually does correct. and if you don't do the worst thing that you can possibly do. I mean, if they're going to set off an atom bomb, we're not going to correct. No I somebody said the other day I was reading that the Iranians, the strait of Hormus Is their nuclear weapon Yeah, it's their ultimate power They have figured out when we allowed this to happen to give this to them, not only the billions that we're going to give them according to Trump I don't get that at all. What are you paying somebody for committing im are you? No Well, it's what he's been yelling at Obama for years for Yeah. But Obama wasn't going to give them thirty million do. Pallets of cash pallets of cash they give. It's unfreezing assets is really what is and removing sanctions. And also isn't it there' an investment Some of it is. Yeah, some of it is their honey. Some of it is. but This episode is brought to you by Progressive inssurance, fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive dot com to see if you could save. Progressive casualty insurance compompany and affiliates, potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it at progressive d. com. Progressive casualty inssurance compompany and affiliates, potential savings will vary, not available in all states All right, well, there's this another story I know that caught your eye today that we didn't get to do on the show. It says that older adults are no longer staying in empty shell marriages., which are marriages where one of the parties is no longer happy It said that nearly forty percent of divorces today occur between people fifty and older. What do you think that is People are living longer, I think, is what it is. So fifty is now like thirty. I wish that was true. I'm turning fifty this year. I think that, you know, when you're my age, I'm eighty three nowight Although I don't look it. No. And I certainly don't act it. No. Bye It's the number. R It is the number. But I feel like for me, I feel like I'm fifty, sixty, not eighty three. A second act go though, I mean, you had a hell of a one. That's the thing. Like I like my second act. I told you I'm enjoying this decade. How old were you when you got divorced? for thirty nine. Okay. So that that For me I mean, I'm happy in my marriage. Yeah, relatively But I'm already in. I feel like I'm pot committed as they say at the poker table. Like, you know, what am I going to get divorced now? I've been I've already putting twenty years My best years are behind. Well the story that that you were talking about in the Times today I it was. They don't feel that way. you know, they're seventy years old, which is not that old I mean, if you're going to live to be, look at this guy Greenspan, one hundred Clive Davis, one hundred or whatever, ninety nine or whatever he was. up in the late nineties. Right. That is an unusual thing. My parents My mother died when she was seventy nine. My father was eighty one. I've already outlived them And my grandparents died when they were sixty So everybody's living longer And seventy seems like, you know, especially with the dreaded Viagra. Yes. No man feels that his life is over when he's seventy or seventy five. I don't know a happier couple than you and Steve, honestly. I really don't you guys don't fight or anything else. If that were not the case, if you were to divorce now Would you date again? Me? Yes. No, of course not Get out of here for what reason? I don't know. What if, like, you know, Bob Woodwards on the show and gives you the eye? I don't know. Like I' just trying to think like, you know, maybe if he were to dump me, which is highly unlikely. It seems unlikely. I'll agree. Then I would have a gay friend of mine move in with me. Okay. And's different companionship. just to hang out with that's what I would like. a gay friend. Yeah, but you only they're fun, you know You only have one bedroom right now, so I know. Yeah. Well, I have another bedroom, but there's only a pull out couch. Okay Have you noticed this with your other friends? like with older friends getting divorced later? Is that happening at all in your world? No, most I was of the group. when I got divorced, which when I said was about thirty nine, that was the early eighties. late seventies It was post feminist the second wave of the feminist movement, which happened around nineteen seventy And I think that women were starting to feel like, is that all there is to the circus? Is that all there is? Yeah. And there was a lot of people getting divorced. I don't think they do it as much Because all of the catastrophic things that happen because of these divorces, namely the kids are floundering around. Th those kids are now of that age and don't want to do it to the kids. and they don't want to they know how bad it helps. but they're more inclined to stick it out, maybe. It's very it's not an easy thing It's a very painful thing. but if you are unhappy What are he you supposed to do? Just endure it? why There's only one life. I don't believe we're coming back, do you I go back and forth on that. But Sley McLean's coming back, but I don't think I am. There was a movie, I talked about this in the podcast once with somebody else. It's called The E Tternity and it's a new movie It's a newer movie. It's streaming now. And the whole premise is Elizabeth Olson, beautiful young actress Um, she married to a guy He dies in the war. when they're still newly wed. She's madly in love with them Mets someone else, marries him, they grow old together, they both die. and then they they both die. They both die separately And in the afterlife Both men are waiting for her in the train station of the afterlife and she have to choose which one. her true love that died in the war, the guy she sp speent sixty years with. and she has a week to decide. She can spend time with. What does she do? I didn't see the movie all the way through. I'm fascinated. Where is that playing? I wantanna watch it? Yeah, it's streaming on one of the streaming sers. Netflix. Yeah, one of them Yeah, It's interesting that. What would I do? Yeah wouldould I pick us like Sophie Sophie's choice Right with men instead of a kid. L thing, you know, it's death to you partart. So onnce you die, you got to Well, the one that she was with six years, she knows him better. Yes. You don't know what you're getting with the other one. Tue. But so what if you pick that one and then you that one was h That one died heroically It has been waiting around for her. whole time. Yeah, but still I think that in that case, since it's eternity, you pick the one you know. Yeah That before Bastard died in the war. I don't know. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Well, he still looks good, right. Yeah, you look your perfect self and Oh so letem find somebody else. Yeah There you go All right. Ryan Reynolds here from MintMobile, with a message for everyone paying Big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just fifteen dollars a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile d. com slash switch. Upront payment of forty five dollars for three month plan, equivalent to fifteen dollars per month required, intro rate for three months only, then full price plan options available. taxes and fees extra.aL terms at Mintmobile. com This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it at progressive. com. Progressive casualty insurance compompany and affiliates, potential savings will vary, not available in all states All right, now, Madonna, you remember Madonna? Madonna. Madonna said in a recent interview that she was working on Madonna. Madonna, Madonna The great Robert Williams was working on a b she was working on a biopic about her life. And it was shelved because the movie studio she was working with didn't believe in her She said she'd been proving people wrong her entire career. Is that something you relate to? I don't understand why they wouldn't do a Madonna movie. I mean, the Michael Jackson movie did great she felt that she was misunderstood. I guess so. Do you feel like if there were places that people told you you couldn't be a comedian and you prove them wrong? Was that a thing where there people telling you, this isn't going to work It's funny because I had the opposite thing happen to me. Everyone believes in you People did. Yeah. I had a teacher who wrote to me when I graduated junior high. Will I see you on a Broadway stage? but of course I will I remember that to this day. when I graduated high school, I MC the entire senior frolic. And everybody loved it And then I went to college and I got scared again, then I got scared again. and I didn't really pursue it there. And then I got married and I dropped it again I was scared. Yeah. I got like that a little bit in college too. I remember I went out for an audition for play by play guy for the sports TV network. And I panicked at the last minute and didn't do it. And it's hard for thirty years. It's very hard. The business is hard. Yeah. And I'm a sensitive person. I I'm not more of a self effacing type, more than a grandiosee type And so I needed therapy to get through this. But like when I was working as a receptionist at Good morning America, I got on the phone with Steve Allen People were listening to this podcast, if we don't know who he was, lookook him up because he was a great American host of the Tonight Show. What? One of the originalost the Tonight Show and he was a comic, but not really a comedian exactly But and loved talent And he flew me out to LA be on his show based on a phone call that I had with him. Unbelievable. It is And still I was like, okay, I did that. I'm to do it again., like that. Yeah. Every time I would get off stage a catch a rising star at the improv If it killed, I would say I'm not doing this again H he seen your picture? ve when he seen what I looked like. Yeah. Um Pt pretty impressive that he just I'm just saying like right now I'm just putting myself in these shoes. Yeah. I wouldn't have the budget to just fly somebody out based on a phone call Yeah. And for a long time, you know, I worked in he didt know the bit that I was I did have a bit and he saw that. So he'd seen Yes. so do a bit. And he wanted me to do that bit on his show. Be we had talked about, you know, I used to work on the old school daytime talk shows back in the day with like, know ity test and lie detector tests and things like that. And this was before people had cell phone stuff. Yeah. So a lot of times I'd be guessing on like what people looked like before they showed up to the show. And sometimes, you know, they show up, they got a hump. You don't know what's going to happen. I mean, know, he saw me. Yeah, he saw you. All right. I'm just saying, you know, that could have been bad. you know I mean, I had a girlfriend who said to me, my God, if Steve Allen had thought I was talented go forward right in all the ws O what do you call that All guns ahead. Yeah, guns ablazing. Allr guns ablazing. But I did not. Yeah. All right. Well It was a slow build for me. I really didn't have it right until I was in id forties. You say you're sensitive but when you did stand up, I mean, everyone bombs occasionally If you went out there and bombed, did you internalize that? orr was you blame the audience? The point is if it didn't matter whether I bombed or I didn't bomb, I still was scared of it. Yeah '. Remember we had that guy on the show a few months ago who tried stand upp and he told me that he also would dive into fire. He actually did that for a living or something. or Knxville? Is that? Yeah guy. He said it stand upp is harder. Yeah. All right, there's a chef named Brooke Williamson who shared the career advice that her parents gave her. And she's now passed it on to her son Her parents told her that she should be where she's happiest. She said, if you're doing what's making you happy then there's a way to work through the difficult moments to make it work. Do you agree with that Well, what is your definition of being happy? Well, that's a good question. What is anyone's definition of being happy? Yeah, mean It could be if you're if you're a sick person, being happy means you're not sick. Right I guess it means probably through u your job and location and school family To me being happy is getting gratification out of small things. Yes, you know, out of Giving like when I like giving a gift to somebody to me is it makes me happy. Right. O when I'm writing my plays, I've gotten to the point where I love to write the plays. I've wr five more now that amazing. I wrote five more. I have five going to be in Sah Harbor and five that are sitting on my shelf. So you're going to work forever becausecause you got toa keep plugging That's the thing. I know. so if I'm not on the show, you won't let me do the podcast. Probably just to punish you know. I think. I think I just need watch That's so mean of. I know, I know. this is the only lever This is my straight of four moves This is your nuclear weapon. This is my nuclear weapon, yes. That's too funny. Yeah. So what's your question? I don't even remember. What was it being happiness? Yeah You know, Joan Rivers famously and they asked her if she was happy and she said, I'm happy. I'm not happy. Right. Nobody's happy. I love that. like it describes what it is. But what makes you happy changes over time too. I mean, I was very career driven, now I'm very family driven. it's that kind of thing. But like all weekend, like on the weekend, I sit in my little shees shed And I go over my plays and I write my things and then I do my crossword puzzles And my husband and I discussed where we're going to go to dinner and we talk about my place. He's a very good editor. I have him look it over and he dess things And that makes me happy. All of that is fun is happy. I'm happy like an hour on Friday night I think that's about it. I think it's that Friday night where the whole weekend's ahead of me. Yeah That's a nice time for you. Yeah, yeah. And then don't have this stress. Yeah. And then after that it all starts going downhill. I was happy last week when I came back from Europe and I brought my grandson These bracelets that he likes. The boys wear bracelets and necklaces now. And I just loved giving that to him and him saying, o, thank you, Nana I got a gift from you, which was very exciting. Tell them what it was. You got me a shirt with a quote from the Godfather. favorite. Yes. and from the Godfather part two, actually. And it says, My offer is this Nothing, which is a reference to Michael negotiating with the Senator. That's right. And I love it. and it was very nice for you. I appreciate. It's too big for you. I bought you two because I figured'd wear it around the house. wear it around the house. Yeah I' not gonna wear here. I was going wear it when the vice president was on. Mr. Vice President, my offer is this Nothing. Not even the fee for the gaming license Which I'd appreciate you putting up. Wow, you know all the dialogue. Oh yeah.. All right, on that note, thank you for joining me today, Joy. Tomorrow, I'll be back with both Alyssa and Sarah, The Wonder twwins. The Wonder twwins. That's exciting. All right, That'll be great. We'll see you then