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This American Life

This American Life

212: The Other Man

Apr 5, 20261h 2m
Summary

In this episode of This American Life, titled The Other Man, the hosts explore the complex dynamics that emerge when an outsider enters a family system or personal narrative, shifting established orbits and forcing individuals to renegotiate their roles. The episode opens with a deeply personal story from Sarah, who recounts the chaotic arrival of Robert Redford at her family home during her childhood. She describes how the actor’s presence upended her role as the center of her family's attention, leading to feelings of jealousy and rebellion. The central act features reporter Davy Rothbart, who examines his mother’s long-standing practice of channeling an ancient Buddhist spirit named Aaron. This segment provides a fascinating look at how this unseen entity became an integral, albeit controversial, member of the family. The narrative delves into the psychological and emotional impact of Aaron’s presence on Rothbart’s parents, particularly regarding his mother's deafness and his father’s temper, ultimately raising profound questions about belief, mental health, and the subjective nature of what we consider to be real.

Updated Apr 6, 2026

About This Episode

What happens when a new guy comes on the scene and changes the way everyone relates to each other?

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  • Prologue: Ira talks with Sarah Koenig about the first and only time a movie star came to her family's house when she was a kid. It didn't go well, for the celebrity or for her. The star was Robert Redford. He arrived and immediately stole all the attention her parents usually lavished on her, their youngest. Worse, they were nervous and strange around him, not themselves at all. Young Sarah was not pleased. Robert Redford paid the price. (6 minutes)
  • Act One: Davy Rothbart's mother is funny, rational, and by most measures, pretty normal. Except that she spends every day in the company of an ancient Buddhist monk named Aaron, who no one else can see. Davy talks to his brothers, father, and eventually his mom, and asks the question they've somehow never managed to discuss: do any of them actually believe he's real? (26 minutes)
  • Act Two: Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr. had always lived in the shadow of his father's name. But just before his primary, an aide delivered strange news: a second Jesse Jackson had appeared on the same ballot — a retired truck driver with no political experience. Ira reports on whether it was a coincidence or mischief orchestrated by the Congressman's rivals. (9 minutes)
  • Act Three: Jonathan Goldstein and Heather O'Neill tell the true story of a man trying to wedge himself into an idyllic family of two. For the first few years, Heather's daughter Arizona was not very fond of Jonathan. He ranked nineteenth on her list of favorite people, behind the neighbor's dog and the plumber. (15 minutes)

Transcripts are available at thisamericanlife.org

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