Listener Voicemails and Tour Dates

Lemonder. When twelve year old Jewel stumbles into a time machine, an unexpected journey begins Turns out, our planet looks different in the year twenty one hundred Cyclones, poison tides, and LGOs for breakfast But how do we get here Can we turn back the clock That's up to you Plate safe or risk it all as a member of the Midnight Rebellion available wherever you listen Hey there. It's Julian Louis Dreifus. I'm back with a new season of Wiser than Me, the show where I sit down with remarkable older women and soak up their stories, their humor, and their hard earned wisdom Every conversation leaves me a little smarter and definitely more inspired. And yes, I'm still calling my ninety one year old mom Judy to get her take on it all All episodes of Wy' The Me from Leminadea Media are out now, wherever you get your podcasts Three Rito! ! You got to give me what t Yes! What' it? Oh yes. R George M. Absolutely. Rndom ninety. We should do an episode Freedom ninety Whom ninety Where we just make ninet nineties reference? just make ninety. Oh, could you imagine? No wait, it should have been our nineties episode Fudge We fudged this up. Let's go home. Let's go home.ituation. So the h home we all fudged up., what episode is this? We're getting close to a. We're getting close to a big one. We're getting close to one thousand episodes. Wow. I mean, not that close. We're about seven hundred some o behind. St still. That's we're closer than we're not. Yeah that's not true. We started going if we'd done no episodes, we'd be closer Yeah to have No We're going backwards in the numbering now. What? Yeah, sorry. We're going to go me this down. So it's going to be double to ninety nine double to ninety eight double to ninety seven. We're doing a NASA style where we're counting down M, we should have done that at the top. Anytime any time you count down it's NASA style I know masses.ing That would be pretty baller, if I may too call your shot of how many episodes you're gonna Th then count down Cool beans It would be funny if we started at, you know How many ten thousand episodes? Yes. and counted all the way down here. There's a lot of pressure, but I like it I like the idea that we would die before it happened. Yeah and that somebody would have to pick up the mantle. And I also like people like assuming that it starts with the earliest number and then listening. It's like Merily, we roll along. Yeah or betrayal Um, I saw Loki and Daredevil do that once Okay. their in their marvel costumes. That would have been what did they do? would have been. They were in the show betrayal on Broadway to. Tom Hiddleseston and Charlie Cox. Charlie Cox, yeah And then the person who I believe is married to Tom Hiddleston now, she was great I Christopher Reeve and Adam West do rope Oh, that's fun I would like to together really so Batman and Superman doing work uppt I'm sry to talk over you, Lauren. You're not the world's finestolog. No, you're not okay. thanks That's fine. That willll never happen again. Okay I believe I'll be in Ill be I believe I'll be in Pother was immediately broken. That was so perfect. That was a classic porky pig. That was classic porky picking. I'm gonna in New York, I believe in May and I believe I'm going to see some shows. Nice. Nice.. I gotta figure out what to see because you know what happens?. I have some friends who either live there or go there more often and they'll see a bunch of shows. and then they talk about some really niche things. I go, but sometimes I want to see the big thing that I need to Yeah. No, the big thing.'s. Yeah. Might I suggest the Putnam spepelling bee that my friend is producing? It's very, very good. And you could probably be a speller in it. That's right. Oh God. What do they bring up on stage. Yeah ye, yeah. It's very first. I used to pride myself on my spelling. went with I did too. with Kate Mcuchci and she's gonna be a speller at some point. I love Kate. That's one of my friends who lives there and I'm hoping to see a show with me. That's one of my friend friends who lives there Kate Mcu. forced her to see a show she's already seen. Proably.less they like the show Yeah. Maybe she. Maybe she would be the speller Because there's a couple of spellers. So do you get planned to be the speller? Yeah, you get picked beforehand. They get like a little celebrity guest to do. I see. Yeah, sometometimes it celebrity.Quite often it's like three people just from the crowd that they talk to beforehand. They do it sort of like price is right. I knew someone who Whatne are the greatest theme songs It' really good one. You just reminded me my sketch show when I was in Chicago, that was our theme music we come out to. Smart. ' we were smart the money kids and it felt right. The Money kids. But I knew someone who was, I guess interviewed the people before price is right to figure out who to pick and we asked for tips. Exactly. there's a special there's a sweet spot You got to be Yes. So I asked for tips because we were gonna go with Kulp and all of her roommates when we first started dating. And because you live off your tips. Yeah, of course.. And she said that you have to be Cheerful You have to be Beat. But you can't be too excited because when the adrenaline hits, anyone who's like excited and will suddenly their adrenaline will shoot through the roof and they will be unusable and be crazy on camera. So you just need people who are kind of normal when you're talking to them who seem like they would be fun, but who are not like going, oh my Godd, Ohh my go, I want to be out there. Is there anybody in line for that just miserable. Have they ever done, whyy' you pick me? Have ever done like a super rich people prices right where they just we watched like them try to guess how much an air fryer is? That's probably celebrity priceses, right? That' what I mean like Kim Kardashian or something on there. celebrity price? I don't, hundred dollars? or it's fifty dollars ma'am. Next don' forbid, a can of soup. Are air fresheners fifty dollars? No, I said air fryer Oh, okay, airfire. Yeah. I was like, okay, I don't know what prices of things all that well, but air presh and air see, they're stinking more and more good shit. Yeah. Yeah. Should we play prices right with each other and see it We do it as a feature where we each pick an item and then the other two try to guess without going over. And we have to look up average price. Yeah. Okay, yeah, sure, we'll do that. Average retail price is. Wow, you know, it's those words almost. I know. Have never meant anything until right now. It's almost like I didn't understand what they even meant. Did you know what I mean? What's sweaking? and are you gonna stop it, dear? It's a truck outside. honey. Well, go tell them tore not. We're recording. Tell them I don't have dominion over the truck. So three. tell them Oh. You don't have dominion. I don't have Domo. Ainion. All right, Chicago. Dominion. Ainion. Banana. Banana Spana Is that yourerm minion Is that your minion? Is that your minion? You that minion? You know what? I still haven't watched a minion movie. I need to. They're fun. I mean I this one. I avoided it with all my heart and soul and they're fun. They're cute. They're fun. Of course, I loved the video of the two Italian actresses who were dubbing the minions for Italy. Oh, that's love. I have not seen that They were Yeah.s these two women they're in a recording booth Ba. But why doesn' it have to be dubbed The minions part. I think because Some of the minionese is English has Italian words. Oh. Oh, excuse me. A sharp intake or no, I guess it was an exhale.'t. Don't make it make sense honestly, I'm surprised we're not burping more on these. No. Well we're chugging two liters of soda before we get just so we can be in the minds. How we always record? I have two cherry Cokes, twenty ounces. No, the question is so they're in Some words are Italian, but then what do they translate them to So they want to share something or a different language? Or maybe Jibbrish Yeah, probably. No, but you Oh because it's supposed to be different to us. Like Yes, if you're if you're Italian and you're watching it and then all of a sudden there's just random and they're like che Yeahagio like. Yeah. Right. Why did they just say cheese? That's funny. I think that is the case. I could be wrong. That's I believe that is the case. Look If we can't say things that are incorrect on this show and say that they're right What are we even podcasting for? podcast What's point ofving a microphone?. What's the of this platform? platform is about me saying something that I think is true and I don't care. And I don't care to be corrected whether it's true or not. I wantan to believe it's true. Yeah. I want to believe. Look at my poster. with the Of OFO. I want to believe I want to have lve Iox molder. I wonder if I should re watchatch that show? No, I don't think so. No. Do't think think I think watch the good episodes. Right. But like the whole thing. Remember when we were like No, but remember how it was like, o, what are they uncovering? What are they unraveling? and all the appointment television? Yeah Was every episode resolved by the end? No No no, o. There were there were like Uh sort of u What's the term for headphones He's hoping his head I'm squishing my headphones to think better. Yeah know There was the lore episodes, that Yeah the cigarette smoking manan et ccetera. where it was always like, oh, no, we can't tell them what's really going on. But then there would be these sort of bottle episodes that would just be those were always bottle episodes. Those were right. Those were always fun. Yeah. Jose Chung from. I guess My I never really thought about it too much, but I guess I would' have imagined it's more like SVU or something where each episode is like those are great. And then they find like an alien great Yeah They take a little hole and there's a little dead alien and' like Yeah sound like we' gonna dooo I wouldn't do that because I don't know. I know that's what it sounded like she was saying. I thought you were doing the incredible mulk ending theme. Isn't that a mulk No Okaykay. But I've seen Lgo naked Privately. No. do you really think that that I would have seen thatv? Maybe through newcomers, I would have found my way to something would ever come up, someone might show it to you. It hasn't happened yet, and I think it's okay.ope it does. What do you know about the incredible The TV show starring Bill Bixby? Whoa, I don't really know anything about that. I mean, I guess he would be green and have black hair. Do you think he plays Bruce Banner Yes? No. He plays David Banner. plays David Banner becausecause Bruce was a gay name What? Cording to the network. Yeah So they changed it from the comic book? Yep. Yeah. They named him David Bruce Batterner. Wow, even more Manely. Matt Manel. Here's name Manuel Marend Bill Bixban B Ban My name was too close to the name. Bruce Bpanning Double B's c. Yeah, that was the problem. I thought now we're going to think you're the character. We can't' were going to be trying to make. Let's make him David. Here's what would happen is that he he was a scientist. he He, I mean, he definitely do the Hulk for some reason. This back in the day they st his hulk because he's angry. They would do he el because he an. Do do you know this? You like me when I'm angry? Well, I've seen Mark Ruffalo do it Yes. That's a callback got to do the TV show. Here's my secret that was his I assume it's all a callback to No, that was not I don't believe that was in the source material. I think that was a creation of the TV show of the donon't do this because I'll get angry and you won't like me when I'm angry. Yes. becausecause that's when he turns. Side not, I love Mark Rufflo He's best. He's a great actor He's best. And he's one of my favor films,' Task. No, what's that? He's great on. It's a new show. It's on ABB HBO show yah. I don't even know this is. But it's by the Mayor of Vastown people Yeah. Well, sheia. And it'sactive or something. You want tona hear some Delcoo accents? I do wantan to hear it That's a place to go. He, I'm gonna che it out. You see what the tone is. It's great. prettyty good? And I'm pretty good. Iess say Nail say nail's the ending. We say out Out Not out. O. I'm gonna check that out. We say out No. S. That's what I said not to say. Sagan. Out. I'm gonna check that out Our tone is. Check it out, see what the tone is.ick check it out, see what the tone is. It's like the face you make when you. Check it out. the face you make. It's I can't help it. and you're just sitting around. I can't help it. This is my process. and the better I get at it, the less my face has to do. Okay? You know what? understandable. Thank you. The incredible hulook. This was in the days when a drama like that An hour long drama like that would have a little explainer at the beginning. Yeah of how everything. Dr. David Benner, he drank some cama rays and now he's the incredible turns negative. like Yeahah negative image. should do that on the pit They should do that in the pitch. By the way, woof do. Oh my Godd, I don't tell me. I'm not telling anyone anything. What I will say is that it's stuck with me and I do miss it, but I also am' like, I need a little breather after. All I know is people are unsatisfied that's. I'm not unsatisfied. I wasn't unsatisfied. I'm highly satisfied. So you' are the anti replacements That's right't havet to replace it. I'm not drunk. I did show up. You didn't storm off during your set? I didn't storm off during my set So he he he in the in the TV show, it's when he although that must have something to do with the comic book, right? What? I mean they're not just riff make of shitt. Well, when he transforms into the hole What would What would trigger it in the comic book? Oh, it is anger. I just mean the actual catchphrase. Yes. you wouldn' like me when I'm angry. When I'm angry, I believe originated on the TV show because I don't recall it ever You know, there there may have been variations of it in the but it became like a thing. Yes. He was pursued by a reporter Wh is who knew anlimited budget. Yeah. traravel all across the country And he's trying to uncover the secret And so the incredible Hulk, David Banner, would go from town to town And then he'd ended up getting involved in the dramas of the people around and helping out or whatever. Always somebody would get him angry and then there'd be a big fight. He would think he could settle down in this nice town. like maybe this is where I could rest my head for more than just a few days, But unfortunately, then some some outside forces or forces within the town, perhaps some bullies in town or people trying to shake down people in the town would get involved. He would get involved in it, he would turn into the hulk You would see rest is h closeup of like arm ripping through a shirt. Yeah Yeah. That sounds familiar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the Hulk in played by Lu Fgo. R. Oh not the same actor as No. no, no, no. I could only pull off the chill business guy with the glasses scientist guy. know. To see Luf Rignna Yeah, that would be Well they're already a giant monster. Right. You take glasses off? Yeah. J' like, Oh,' a risk changing You' angry. It takes glasses off. That's kind of interesting though that they just that they had two different actors for it. Yeah. I mean actually makes more sense. does Mark Ruffalo doing both Yeah, I mean, I think the CGI thing is like really that helps It It does For me, it does a lot because I could totally see how he's now that. Yeah. now that. For me, when I'm watching it and I see CGI change it, I go, now I see how it's that. But the end of each episode He would very sadly have to leave town. Would he cry I don't know., we ever saw. His back would be thease. H back would be the camera. He'd have a napsack. That's when he was O a backpack. a bindle. Yeah. I don't think it was as much as a bindle. Not a hobo bindle with polka dots. No. There's only so much you can fit in a bindle I mean, it's like that's like ab he got rid of I don't need. He just got rid of a bunch of clothes because he ripped them off. Yeah. burst out of him. But he'd be walking turned on, ladies. He'd be walking down the side of the road. His waist would remain the same size That's hot That's the partark That's the one good thing about being a Hulk? Yeah. you're always a thirty two in.. thirty two ws He'd be walking down the road and you would hear just this Plaintive piano music starts. Ding ding ding ding. We gotta play it We. We got I'm looking at I'm looking at Lou now. Um Youfrag now First of all, I don't know how recent this picture is, but he's looking kind of fine It's even more haunting than I remember. But this is him then Yeah Okay, so in this particular one, everyone is Watching him go. Oh that. Oh, he's getting on a bus in this one. That's nice. He doesn' have to walk. That's pretty. A lot of times you'd be walking. That's David Y, David Bruce Banner This feels like someone is playing it who uploaded the video. No kidding th it was a big clam in there. Yeah I feel really sad watching that For Yeah, this is not the really sad for a lot of reasons. This is o. Let's hear a let's hear hopefully this is a more professional presentation of this. Um I just don ad. Dude, I'm pretty impressed by Lu Fignno in this situation. Okay, calm down. No, I'm calm Okay, so's exact there we. There we go. No it's not Well, the quality is better. Right he goes down the street. He's walking down thereet. got streets were real streets, you know, in the seventies? Yeah, sure covered with dog shit Yeah. He's hitchhiking, a carp. Nope. not gonna stop for this weirdo. that disase just morph into a different? Yeah, they've morphed him into another shot And I'm walking down the fucking highway. This music though is affecting. Yeah This was TV, lookook how long this is going on. this is And that's like every episode, he would like do this at the end. The story's over. L to G it. You're trying to get to the next episode. You have another five minutes of him walking around. But you needed it because you had nothing else to watch. You'd sit there and just be like, ye And it was No, this is compelling. This is like, I feel like I'm watching like Lake a dramatic film This is the movie I'm thin of. This is great Cramer versus Crane. Let me tell you, this is as good as any film I've ever seen. Yeah, absolutely. That's cinema. And famously you haven't seen anything. I have a feeling this is a montage of a whole bunch of different ones put together. Because of the clothes changing. Yeah. how it's different seasons and how it's like all he gets older Yeah he's got a big white beard in his last one. I love I loved him when I was kid, Bill Bixby I thought he was cool guy. I mean, for what reason though other than he just played the Hulk, You know what I mean? Like that is cool. I don't was the person have to fucking new. There were certain actors I was just drawn to. Bill big way I just like this guy Yeah He. I mean, what else had he done? My favorite Martian. My favorite Martian, there you go. you answered. him and mister Hand. That's one I never really caught up with. He died young Yeah, he did. That's unfortunate. He did. I wish we all could live to be a thousand years old That's long. Oh. But look at that. Listen. But look at, lookook at that. watch this. watch this. So say say you're like me and you have a kid late Yeah You know, your kid when you die at a thousand, Your kid has fifty more years. What do you care about seeing the end of that You know what I mean? they've already lived nine hundred and fifty years Hold I was like, you haveve to be a thousand. Yeah And how you you die at one thousand. Yeah, and your kid is nine hundred and fifty by the time you die, it's like, that's fine You know what? You make a good case? I can't argue with that. I'll tell you what, donon't deep dive on his stuff. I just got so sad. Stil Bixo? Yeah. Why would happen to him? I can't talk about it. Okay, we'll look it up after this break. I could tell you but during anyone else during this break Picture this It's like eleven thirty at night. You're fully not supposed to be shopping and suddenly You find the exact thing you've been looking for. You add it to your cart. You're emotionally ready to buy it. And then the website is like, please remember a password you made in twenty seventeen. 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And for years, I just accepted that my phone bill was going be weirdly expensive for no reason Everyth it was like, okay, here's your bill, plus mysterious fees, plus charges for me to hope you don't ask about. And I'd be like, I guess that's phones Iiot Eventually I was like haveave to be this way And that's why Mint mobile makes so much sense to me They exist to stop people from overpaying for wireless just because this h's always been MintMobile offers premium wireless plans, starting at just fifteen bucks a month and all plans come with high speed data plus. Unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest five G network Now look. My dear friend, Matt Apidaka. He's got a Mint mobile plan And this guy's rubbing it in my face every time I see him. He's always saying like, o, I was able to bring my own phone and number, activate it with EM in minutes and avoid the whole painful wireless store experience entirely. Oh, I'm still getting reliable coverage except now my phone bills have financially ruined my mood once a month. And I'm like, okay, man, I thought we were friends. Why are you talking to me like that Jealous If you like your money, Mint mobile is for you shhop plans at mintMobile. com slash freedom. That's mitmobile d. com slash freedom r payment of forty five dollars for three month five gigabyte plan required, equivalent to fifteen dollars a month. new customer offer for first three months only and full price plan options available. taxes and fees extra, C Mint mobile for details Hey, we're back Yeah. Anyh. There's, I mean, we just looked at Bill Bigby's personal information and now we're bummed Pretty. move it along, moving. Move along.othing. Nothing to see here. N see to seeen not I've been writing this song? What do you think about this Mama say, Mam. I like that. I think it needs more around it. Mama say, Mamama H. I mean, if it's a three second song, I love it. Well, imagine that repeated for three minutes. Okay, six seconds. Okay. D we? Yeah. You have a good imagination. Did we ever determine if that was actual words? I think I think we looked it up and it's actually he stole it from a different song or something. I couldt remember exactly what it was I used to like him. None a hurt he did that Oh my good. I I have heard nothing else You know what? I jumped back into real housewives of Beverly House. Did you really off house? Well, I mean, you haven't had a bachelorette to watch. That's true. and I've been off the housewives for like, years kind of, where I haven't really been checking in at all. And then I and then you know what's really fun is when you just binge it? And I'm enjoying that and I'm enjoying Because Rachel Zoe is on the new season and she's a fashion designer who I grew she had a reality show when I was younger. I can't picture her, but I remember. Yeah. And so she was so it's fun to see her in life now By the way, it is taken from Amanu Devango's nineteen seventy two song Soul. Sas Masa. So Makasa much. The phrase stems from the Dwala language roughly meaning dance or I will dance And the original phrase in Deubango's track was Mamako Mamasa, Mamakusa Okay. Mamakusa. Mamakusa. Mamao, Mamasa, Makusa. Maca masama Macusa M. Oh that's better. Musa. Yeah What does that mean That means dancer, I will dancer I will d. He made it Mama sayamasama Ma. So what did that end up meaning? So Michael Jackson was sued Wait for it, byy Manu Dango. I ch I changed it to say. And the lawsuit was settled out of court with Jackson paying one million French francs. That nothing That's nothing to him. nothing. How much was one million French francs, I wonder? Probably around a million dollars. Two elephant manan skeletons? One point two eight United States dollars. So we got about a million, one point two eight million dollars That's the life changing money France. Oh you can buy d out rant What's everyone reading or watching I'm reading The Men by Sandra Newman. I just bought two books and I went to Disneyland two days ago with Emmy and her best friend who had never been. Wow. And I brought one of the books read at Disneyland while they were doing something. Well, no, no, no Okay. see what they would read on a ride. I brought a book of Disneyland Ss. No, we went a day before and stayed in an adjacent hotel. and I thought, you know what? the kids are going to swim I'm gonna bring this book aspirationally and get into it and read one chapter and that'll get me going where I just want to And of course I had to watch Emmy the entire time in the pool and she wanted to continually go down this slide and over Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. there's a slide. forget it. But let me tell you what the book is. let me go get it. And I want tona hear about this book, The men Yes, it is a book by Sandra Newman, who's an author I really like a lot. I've read a bunch of her stuff and I always enjoy it U And it's about One day all the men disappear from Earth I love this book. Wn't? So I got two books by It was a Whitehe. I got Harlm Shuffle.. I just finish a Stick mananifesto. I read of them. I really enjoyed it And so'm and then I preordered the third in the trilogy, which is I like I'tize trilogy. I like how the covers go together. That's just so pleasing. Yes. I love show I just read a very popular book right now called Strangers by Bell Burden, which is a story. Tw wealthy people divorcing the pandemic Hello Sorry. It's one of them from Miipos rom meatbs? Meatles. Is one of them Bill Murray? It's one of them spad? What's Mepos? Meepipost, the island of Mipost. I didn't think that I didn't know what you'reking No they're not. they're from They live. So so they're not perfect strangers. I fucking go ass at your own game. This is about Bkey's divorce. No, it's a memoir by this woman. and now there's gonna to be a TV show where Gwyneth Peltro plays her, but yeah so I've been I read that atat it up, but had my issues with it. Did you leave any crumbs? I left crumbs weaveve crumb. They la cr they la crum. She left crumbs. I ate and left crumbs. She left a little bit of crumbs. I. I had some thoughts about it, but It was overall very compelling book but now I'm reading Christina Applegate's memoir. Oh wow, wow, wow. Wh has a lot of sad stuff. Yeah. She talk about me waiting on her dad? Everyone's heard the story. Yeah, she talked about She opens the book with that. Noever her dad left her family. Oh So Do she talk about us at what point? she was little. Okay, No wonder you was such a weirdo when I waited on. Does she talk about us standing near each other smoking cigaretes during the filming of Ankererm Man? That's page two. Yeah. Wow., Okaykay. Okay. So one day my dad was waited on by Scott Ouckerman. Yeah. No, she's super cool and I'm interested. And I'm also gonna to read L Ma Detham's book, which, you know, people very divisive. I'm a fan. I'm interested Here's what I've heard Yeah is that I think it it's everybody' everybody I know that's reeddit is saying it's so on track with Lena Dunham. where There's so much that you agree with where you're interesting, fascinated. and then she says something where it's like, the fuck. Well, I'm ready for that too. Yeah. I have no opinion. You know, one thing that's kind of interesting is that I follow her on Substack and again, I repeat, I'm a fan. and she has u been really active on substack and then somebody called out like on Substack like, oh, I love how this and they named a person, like this person and Lena Dunham created a substack to promote her book and it created this whole like basasically make it really exciting and follow along with her. She has a lot more writing on there and you kind of gear up to read the book by reading her essays and stuff. I thought it was a very creative way to promote a book and very and it works. We should do that for this show. Yeah our show by writing on subject. Yeah. Essays. Wouldn't that be great? a great use of our time? Why don't we do it like almost love letter style? Yeah to each other. Where we it's around Robin. We have to write and we have to write out a conversation that mean love letters. Yeah. yeah. Yeahah, yeah. Not the concept I think Scott should wr I love letters to Paul and we post them on Substack. Okay. Now I think atle lease mash notes. Yeah, how about smash notes? Spark about Smashmouth. Wanna smash clliff notes. Wanna smash. Wh don't we justite say now Lary? H are clliffs notes G good story told real fast. They're still out there. I know I know The lead singer is no longer No, Smash Mouth. Don't they have a new lead singer in are they still playing? Yeah, what happened to that? It's John M No, he jerk or something He became dead? Y. Well, it's a jerky thing to do. Hey Jerky. Hey Jerky He sizzle chest Sizle Chest. Hey, now, you're a sizzle Chest. This my favorite jericky boys in. It's funny. Sizzle chest. What the fuck? The one guy, Choty was so funny. Oh my gosh It was Johnny and Red Man. No C not Red Man. That's Red M. I think it wasamale, wasn't it Red was in there somewhere U sure.'re thinking a Rd's tube bar Were you a jerky B boys fan? We've talk Oh a bit, yeah. I didn't remember I remember there day that someone had a like bootleg CD of it and we were in his pin Not an official one U It was burned. All I remember was it was burned and he was like, I'll burn you one And and we were in his truck and listening to it when I was in theater school and we were like crying laughing at. This was so funny. I remember it being really funny. and then I remember Crank Yankers being funny It was like a thing after that. I was a lot of prank calling happening. The The other time I remember laughing in public really hard was when I was on a plane and I bought that letters from a nut book. Oh yeah. remember those. And I remember crying laughing at was. And someone tapping me on the shoulder saying, what is your book? need I need some laughs. Letters from a nut Yeah. It was always rumored to be Jerry Seinfeld because he he wrote the introductions and it was always like, oh, he might have and they' real letters that this person would send to people D devel But it was not actually Jerry Heeineld. It was someone el. Letters fromr a Nut is a humorous book by Barry Martyr published under the pseudonym Ted L. Lancy. Mder. Faturing absurd and innocent letters he writes to corporations, hotels and government agencies along with there's often serious dead pan responses Jhny Brenan Kamal Amid I jerky bo. And Don Novello did a letter, the Lazlow letters. He did a book of.es, right. Where' the same concept. Yeah, yeah yeah They really had Jerry Seinfeld and a choke hold on this shit He wrote a million introductions. How I mean there were there were three books or there's like a bunch. Oh, really? Really? There's there's what I'm seing to be toooo many I mean, the I read the first one More letters from not Hello junk maail, someone with a nut? Yeah. Are all new letters from a nut? Letters from a nut familyamily tree. I read the first one on E more Even more extra nutty. Shut the fuck up. I need to hear these titles. Letters from aut.art, he set that one. I did it. I'm telling you they' different covers You But you said letterslements. was the first one. This was shhut out. E more letters from a nut extra nutty. And there's extra nutty. All new letters from a nut, and there's more letters from a nut.re they're not the same. Are there more? Let me find out. But I think by the third one, I think I read them all. I binge read them all. Sure. By the third one, I was like, ye, I sort of get this. But the first one I was really dying. What other things do you not understand? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think I've said them all But you screamed over them, so maybe I should do it. I was listening. Lauren and I was. Okay, okay. Okay. fine. Letter More letters from a nut T put All new letters from a nut Even more letters from a extra nutty Hello junk maail. alone with the nut. What a junk mail. How are you saying something with a nut? Are you not reading this? It' really blurry and small. Look entry fucking picture. D did an image search for a letters from a nut? H. Hello junk maail. Did they throw it away? No, they answered it. No more Foot odor free umbrella, author of the letters from a nutbook. No more foot odder, free umbrella That's that's what it says. That's one book. That's what it says on there. I mean, what is? I'm doing that? The cover Hello Junkmail by Ted L Nancy. Hello Junkmail, somethingomet letters for a not. Hello Junkmail Nover Junk female. Junk female. Where are we have a junk female? What are we going to have and I've been saying that when're going to have letter letters from a pussy Yes. Yall p puts it open nut. Or what a pussy exel? What a pussy exel No, Don't write that down. No as a title? no? No. No Okay. It's bad enough I said it If by the way, if people you were listening to these backwards and hearing and then hearing how prudish you are. guys have destroyed Prudish.r I like say adult. Prudish. Dear prudish D Anyway, I bought these books and I really want to read them and I'm trying should I take them on tour? I know I never What books No Here's what you tour Yeah. You're allowed to take one Okay And on every listen on every plane ride You open it and you read one page. justust tell yourself that. Okay, but we're not taking plain rids for the most part. That's demented Don't read a page.ook, you're not gonna to read it. What if you're gonna to read more than a page, but you're giving yourself the out. What if it ends the middle of us? You you tell't read page he'll read a p. I'm supposed to remember Every night day Lawrence. Every night before bed, you read five pages. pereriod. pereriod, point blank. Done. Period. Book's over by the end of the tour. Period in your face. I do it. I just don't think I don't bring them. It just is not gonna fit into our tour lifestyle. Just don't bring it. Did you read at night before bed. sometometimes It's a great way to actually I'm the mind after a great show. Here's the issue of Bed I used to But now I have, okay, let me go to sleep, say seven thirty You sleep seven thirty one I okay, last night I put her it about seven hundred thirty and I put on a movie and I was put onine I was falling asleep at eight fifteen. But there's good. But there's usually my homework that I have to do watching a movie. I usually have those two hours that I can watch that movie and I can't fit anything. it's very hard. It's very hard with children's bedtes. Last night I fell asleep in Hlly's bed and then I went and I woke up and it was night you know And then I went in my bed and I went, I'm going to sleep right now. Yeah. And it was a bold move because I could watch a show. But I said no I'm going to sleep right now. I went to bed at nine fifteen last I didelt and woke up at four forty five. Oh, I didn't have. think there's a thing that makes me laugh where sometimes If it If it's Kind of early to be going to bed. I can feel like she's falling asleep on the couch, right? Watching TV and then I'll I call her on it And she'll laugh and she'll say, I'll be right back. I just goes get to bed. That's cute I love bits within a marriage. bits from a marriage. That's the book I'm gonna write. Y Nuts. whatever it's called Nuts. Why don't you do an imnut or something or letters? Letters from a nut. bits within a marriage. other an image search. I love to read in bed and I would say probably read like at least a chapter A night? That's good. Yeah. Yeah. I like toad into bed too. I'm struggling right now because I use a kindindle a lot of times if I'm put And it's good for on the go because like, you know, if I go out to dinner by myself, it's very eas to read a book while you're eating dinners. Yes, yes. But I am finding, I just really want some pages I sort of wish I could have both. I wish it was like the same price to like buy a book Iish and you'd get the ebook copy. Yes. I wish that it was a computer like a Kindle But then you reached into the screen. and turn a book turned the pages. Reading. I wish that in the game operation Yeah The pieces were squishy. It's funny that you're talking about this morning, I was doing a real operation thing. I was thinking I feel like I'm doing operation. Is the one that I gave you Yeah, I was playing shrek operation. No, I dropped, you know, like a little plastic tag from like a t shirt where you take the tag off. Oh yeah. There was like that was on the kitchen counter from like a toy. And then I did something and I knocked it and I went right into the stove in the gas like in the part where you turn on the flame. Oh no. So then I had to like pick it out, but it was really hard because my fingers were too get in there. You the baddest figure I've ever seen You would't know that. like it's like King Charles. Next time you see a picture of Lauren, L look at her hand. That's where all my weight goes. I immediately gain weight in the hands. You don't go on a diet for your show, right? Yeah, just diets. Yeah. And then I got a knife and but I was like, I need I need tweezers. I need operational Pcision. Yeah two spatulas. It was crazy. It was absolutely crazy. It was so No one in my house even knew what happened. Hearing it, I need flathead screwdriver. saved What would have happened if it turned on though? You wouldd have killed everyone. Burned. You would have killed everyone. Would' it just be stinky What No wasn't the fell down there? I wasn't listening. Fuck off So where is it a f down there? A mouse A mouse A mouse. A mouse All we have to take a break Here's a little trivia about summer. suummer always changes the way I want to dress. Now that sounds like it's try about me, but it's not. The second it gets warm out, I wantan to stop wearing anything complicated or uncomfortable. I just want pieces that are light, easy And somehow make it look like I have my life together And that's why I've been loving Quince lately. They have really beautiful elevated basics, linen, organic cotton, washable silk, all those fabrics that immediately feel nicer the second you put them on Quince has been a friend to me They've been a sponsor I've gone there Gotten things That are great rightight now. they got some linen stuff that I am excited to be taking with me on tour this summer because I want to be comfortable, but I also want to look sharp. So I got a u It's it's a sort of linen Sit M more casual though, less structured. It's a navy blue. It's so comfortable and breathable and it looks great I'm so excited to be wearing it around They've got one hundred percent European linen pants, dresses and tops, starting at just thirty two dollars. Their denim is also incredibly soft, like me. And their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for those weird summer nights where it suddenly drops twenty degrees for no reason. alsoso like me. And the thing that's wild is that everything at Quintince is priced fifty percent to eighty percent less than summer luxury brands because they work directly with ethical factories And they cut out my arched enemy, the middle Man They also now have home goods, kitchen items betting all these elevated everyday essentials that make your life feel slightly more put together, as I referenced earlier, Thsis statement proven. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quintince dot com slash freedom for free shipping on your order and three hundred sixty five day returns. Now available in Canada too That's QuNcE dot com slash freedom for free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Qince d. com slash freedom. And we're live from the living room as Doug eyes up the match they spread He's reaching for the buffalo wing. Perfect Hang on, what's this? Oh, he's good for Cat of Pepsi too. Incredible Not to finish Sensational combination. Look at the delight on his face. There's no doubt about it. It just tastes better. Match days deserve Pepsi. Food deserves Pepsi. Grab a pack of Pepsi Zero suugar for today's match Poetry in motion We'rere back We're back, notot like Dr. David Bruce Banner. Although we see his back when he walks to another town. It's funny I'm starting to reach back into the hll But that he's being chased by a reporter and not by like the government. I know. You know what I mean? Or at least another scientist who Honestly. Why can't he talk to the reporter? Isn't this more whatell your kind of it's not kind of precient. Speak your truth. Wh it feels like now it's all up to us to resolve things 'cause the government's not actually gonna do it. Yeah. So it's actually the reporter doing that is But what is these part of the mainstream media. Well, that could be a problem. Yeah, Barry Weiss's CBS? Dooda, da A using berry white. Da Da. That was Bari. Is is not bari. It might be Bari It might be baring.. It might be baring Nice I've never said it out loud before Welcome. and I never will again. It's Barry. I think it's Barry I think it's Bar Let's see A R let's see. Ls like baria Menema sh for bar Let's see what this person says, Ready? Bari Weiss That's not this doesn't prove anything? L Marry Wise. M wise. Whenever you play one of those, like anyone and you're like, okay, the robot says it's that. I'm like, how does that prove anything That's not proving anything. Well, okay, here's what the AI overview's say. We don't know. it was for a name. It's different like if it's for a word. R. This name I'm not trusting that. This says it's pronounced it has the phonetic pronunciation. It says like Wally? Yeah, it's pronounced Bari Weiss And then it says, Bari, pronounced like barry. A. See, that's what I'm talking about.i. That's what I'm talking about L guys, just the overview. That's the overview. If you get it the in depth, it's even worse. Ball's deep in that. If you get granular with they eye. Hey, so littleittle Richard Shuby is in the news this week. No he's not. I forgot about him You forgot about How other people remembered him so he still No, he's in the But but now you've remembered him So he's back. Yeah He made headlines this week It was crazy. He made, I mean, it was I wasn' on a news cleanse? What happened? It wasn't above the fold. I was also on a news cleanse and my phone was off. What happened? So little Richard S. What happened? He's been installed as like a puppet dictator in another country. It's No, not another country. Yeah. But wait. how many is it now? It's right now he's up to seven countries. He the puppet dictator of seven countries. alive Oh, oh, is he alive? Just talk to the citizens of whatever this country is God I wanna bona? God I wanna bonea? No. Oh no Little Richard Sarubi Head of state of God I Wna bon you He's been installed and They did they did a big installation. Yeah. o my Godd. where they had I to say something First they were trying it with friends they were gonna to bribe him with pizza. What do you want to say, Lauren? We need to kill Lauren, Lauren. off the road Lauren You meaning you want to get like someone to Take care of him. Like, you know, takeake care of him. S sure he's said kill. No, I want him to give him a hand job. takeake care of my friend? I get my hand job. That's what you want. Thats what it meant. I want kill. That's not us. That's not us. You're right. That was was That was not up to us. The thing is that was my inner demons speaking. What's wild is it would be so easy to kill him becausecause he he's Oh He loves to see it. The last I heard he was stuck being small Yes. Yeah, he's small. Yeah. But also he we're three of the only people that he'll see without like patting us down or he's like he considers us to be best friend. Thater would be the perfect gp. we offer food to lead it. Yeah. Yeah. So I'll give him a little hostess cupcake with full of poison in the mail Poison in the middle, but it got much back. poison in the middle, but it got. Inead of the cr pooison in the middle the cupcake M much back. Inead of the crb it's Bys on L poison. wouldould you like your cupcake? He loves hes brand. Yeah. Heves ye, he loves those. It's Kind of his main thing. So here's what we do. We go to the hostess cororporation and we say, willill you make us a special batch of poison cupcakes Wait a second. Yeah, I have an idea. Okay Now this involves Drake's cakes. Oh. Th those are good What if we smother him in the middle of a devil dog Okay, so we put them in it like it's a bed. Yes, we say it's a tanning bed. Yes. We say rich. You're looking really pale pale Let's get You're going to be the dictator in seven countries. Yeah. We need you to get in this tanning bed. and it's the kind that it's like onnce it clamps down on him, it fills up with this kind of liquid that then hardens around him as that's the devilough. told the devil dog is a tanning bit. And then you eat him. He lays down Man I don't want to waste a devil dog. M, I'll take half If no one else is gonna have it. Now a deil dograg. The Dvil Dg is dark chocolate Yes It's chocolate cake oblong chocolate cake with cream in the middle Yeah. It is extremely dry The cream's not doing its job. It's not the cream only do so much. I'm pretty pissed because there the sprinkles cupcakes at the Americana closeed down And they made a hostess cupcake kind of cupcake that was so good. Like it was like a it was that, you know. And you'd put them in your lunches I'd put it in my mouth in the car on the way home Okay, let's get that clean. Say it one more time. I'd put it in my mouth in the car on the way home. Thank you What the hostess cupcake style cupcake. Everyone world you can garb. Yeah But anyway, so our website is just it's in severe disrepair. It's a mess. Like if you go there, sometimes it works fine. Yeah. Sometimes you go there and it's little Richard Sheruby and he is doing a wagging finger saying You don't know what he's saying that in reference to. L you don't want me on the webs website. You don't want me leaving a phone message. I don't know what you're trying to say. If you leave it on long enough Without closing a window, he eventually says Like Jurassic Park, Dickhead Yeah, but that's not getting even more specific about what he's upset about. No, it's just like, yeah, I got the reference. Yeah, exactly. So wasn't my issue. Yeah. anyyway. So it's look, we apologize to anyone who's been on there trying to figure out, you know, trying to prank their friends with a novelty dictionary. We're of course talking about the famous website, haaglaimsid dot comot Yes He is our Webmaster, unfortunately And we didn't know quite what that word meant when we said that he could be that. I thought it was an honorary title. Yeah. Oh, like Spider Man. Yeah. ye. Yeah, like Spider Man. Yeah. It's an honorary title Like Sir Paul McCartney Spideran the rest of these honorary titles Anyway, so we're going play whatever has come up in these these voicemails people leave us on the website for some reason. I don't know why people are leaving voicemails on the website. Pray that these voicemails have not been corrupted by the vile mind of L Richard Sheruby. He's doing a lot to the actual inner workings of the site's being damaged. You'll leave what you think is an Anodyine message that's just very gentel and he gets in there and he tweaks the ones in zeroos he changes some zeroos to ones O ones to zeros and your message comes out just being you know, just just gibberish sometimes. You know what's the worst. He's making P people that are otherwise, intelligent people sound absolutely stupid as shit. Yeah. I hope that didn't happen here. I hope that didn't happen here, but we'll see if he's been up to his old tricks here. Anyway, let's play one of these messages that people have left us. Here we go Hey gang, I am a relatively new listener, a piss piglet, if you will. And I am calling in response to a listener voiceemail you received over a year ago Premium episode number thirty two. are And I'm calling to say happappy anniversary, Shane because you guys gave him great advice to put himself out there and attend a singles Ding event, where he met me, Maggie from Minneapolis I call you in the host bone zone because if I called from the bone zone, it would ruin a surprise. And this is his anniversary gift. I would love to know from you all what should we focus on in year two? to really take this to the next level. Thank you. I'm sorry That Shane's so cute. S I love you, Sane by the way at the end. Sorry. We love you too, Sane, we love you, Maggie. That's so sweet. So cute. Thank you. I have. I have chills Be I' multiplying. I did No I lose control. when she was referencing that and saying happay anniversary to him, I was like, I actually didn't get it for a second. I didn't either. And when it unfolded, I felt such delight and we encouraged someone to do something outside of their comfort zone, and then they met. Yeah. they met partner. look. this is wonderful. Mag m. We want to take one hundred percent of the credit Absolute. Oh, well, yeah. I think. I think Shane wouldn't have gone. No for us. I wonder I wonder if he would have went to a different one. And would she have been at that one? Who knows, but whatever I mean everything worked out as it should. That's strange how the universe works. Riding doors. Yeah. No. But I think going into year two You wantna focus on listening, connecting You know, donon't say about the world lot guys Boneszone privately. Ss priv. Bonezoning in public like you have been doing for this entire year. You don't need to tell us that you're not actively having sex when you're calling. We assume that. do I typically do assume that. Yeah, yeah, unless I hear. Now I'm gonna assume that people are having sex anytime they call us. Yeah I hope they never do that. Okay, from now on If you call us If you are not having sex You don't need to say anything If you are having sex when you call us, you need to tell me need to tell And you need to tell right away so we can delete voemail. front. I think that might have been the work of little Richard Sharuby. You think he put that in there. put that in there, ye. because nobody would do that. No, no. Yeah. Nobody would do that on a sweet voicemail. Yeah. Well, I look, I have no advice for year two because being in year twenty seven, I can't even remember that far back. so I have no advice. I think you're still in the fun time where it should just be a blast. And if it's not fun, then you need to reassess. but I think you're think people can I mean, people can have difficulty though the I'm not saying one hundred percent It's okay to have difficulty, but I'm saying you overall should be Enjoying each other. Y overalls should be enjoying each other. Guys, you should get overalls. Oh you need matching overalls because That's the anniversary for second anniversary. Yeah. You wantan to look like mister Green jeans at all times. Yeah Both of these. Green denim. Yeah. Green denim. Gen Green denim Anyway, congratulations to you, Shane and Maggie. Thank you for your call Thank you. I'm glad you were able to find the website with everything that's been going on with it. Yes. Thank you for your contributions. Let's hear another one. Here we go Hi Freedom gang. This is Zach. I'm a huge fan of Hey, what you just said reminds me of song Lyrics, the podcast? Thank Tom. Okay. My question is I love George Michael and the song Carless Whispper is awesome. and anytime I hear it or think of it What comes into my head now is I'm never gonna poop again. That's correct. And I was curious if there's any bits you've done that have now completely replaced good thing in your mind forever Thank you for the podcast. I mean, you've heard the pod. b distress Insomnia a lot and I will listen to old episodes of your podcast while laying in a dark room in the middle of the night and it keeps me from going insane. So that's nice of you. Zach, thank you. Thank you, Zach. I C can't imagine this show keeping someone from going insane or keeping someone awake Or helping them sleep. Yeah I cant cant do either one honestly, up. can't give you wake, Can't up and sleep. Y. I feel like My brain is broken and I everything is something else abute and everything is going to be something else. Yeah. So there's no ye, there's almost no Joy. I'll tell you. My favorite song is Ruined Forever. My favorite song Shave and America ' becausecause I just automatically think two bits. That's your favorite song. That's a great song. Shave and America. Beautiful name. Shave and Aica. Save. And one hair cut. And then everyone always chimes in and he goes To bits.'s like shut them Yeah Yeah Yeah Roger Rabbit has ruined me, I think for For three d the male ideal. Yeah. How am I supposed to this so hot his teeth His proportions. You might not like what it looked like, but not I forgot the Wow. It the ideal mle Never I don't think so. Wow. I think I've never seen that. I've tried to hide it from you. Yeah, you've done well U yeah, I don't know. There are a lot of songs where I I mean, the ER theme song I would just sit there mouthing, It's ER, it's ER. You remember how it goes. Dr. Bruce Banner, pelted by gamma race, Gammer Y Yeah. I mean, I think hope I hope to get some medication soon that will change the way this works. I know that there are there are can I prescribe you something? It's hard to think of one off the top of my head, but I know there are things that we do on this show. that now of course, have crept into my regular Llexicon brain. Yeah Yeah. Oh, I want to say ye Mary and I did our show in Austin What is now a million years ago, but it was last weekend and there we spoke to a pisspig in the audience. told us a great story. And then I got pisspig cheers other pisspigs in the audience. and I was very delighted to see you all there. So thank you for coming. It was very nice. Did you have to explain it to Mary on stage? What that meant? I did, I explain it to everyone because I couldn't let it hang. I just said that this is the name they chose and we didn't I just obviously told the truth. I think I told you that at Paul McCartney, I was standing in l and she and because I could barely hear, I made her repeat it. and she's like, I'm a pisspig I hope this is weird to say, but I'm a bit of a pispig. O I just mine the guitar. like ming the guitar U We love m. Do you ever remind the base Do he never mind to? Do you ever slap a debase? I occasionally will slap Do doesn't matter for you Why you look so s? But the bass. Joe D bass. who did that? Je I love that song'm gonna again. Jey sweet And now you couldn't pay me a million dollars to listen to it Is that true No, you probably could. Do you do you want to I do have a million dollars. Oh yeah, pay me a listen to it here it is Thank you. Now let's hear it. Okay, do you know this song But A what's the matter for you It's called shhut up you face. Let's hear a little bit of shut up you face