The Doggy Thursday Ritual

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Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lugarics's disease, Myasthenia Gravis or Lambd Eaten syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit Botoxpronicmigraine. com or call one eight hundred four four Botox to learn more This episode is brought to you by Street Easy Here's the thing, Wanna be the grandparents who bolted to the Burbs or the cool relatives still living in NYC? the city that people come to to be at the center of everything. With twenty years at NYC know how, StreetEasy has the tools, agents, and guidance to make you a forever New Yorker too. Visit streeteasy dot com to buy a rent in NYC Street Easy is an assumed name of Zillow Inc, which has licenses in all fifty states R remember you bought me an accordion? I did buy you an accordion. Yeah. Where is it now? I believe it's in a giant bin When people would say Graham's on the rich list, they go, I know. I put most of that this account. Once this stops, as in when you stop living together, you must never mention it again. To anyone too anyone. It must be, you know, it never happened Hello, hello and welcome to Wanging on. It's a sort of podcast offering advice. I believe I'm Graham Norton. That's Marie MCurlland.. We're not experts, blah blah. We're not experts. But thank you for telling me what this is about. Yeah. well I felt it's important to set out our stall. I've often wondered whyy are we sitting at this table? Yeah. Why are we at this fake kitchen table? Why am I talking to you and pretending to be your friend Thank you for supping sobody ob. But it's I am your friend who knows that it's your birthday shortly. We're doing birthdays still. Aren't we too old? Well no, I think you acknowledge them because you know it's always a bit of an achievement. Look, I've made another one. Yeah. but I like none of us are saying the actual age well, sixty three Yeah That's nothing. I said it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm eighty four. Well no, it does feel like nothing. Isn't it weird? I thought I thought when I hit sixty that There's no getting around sixties old. And then I hit it, I'm like, oh actually It's fine. It's not that bad I like looking at the obituaries and seeing how old people are. and then it says they've got, you know, they were seventy five and I think, Oh good, Ive got another ten years or whatever. Just like randomly. But we are at an age now where if we die, nobody would say, Oh too young. No, but they do well, no, I feel like if I died, people would go only sixty three Yeah sure it's no age. Yeah. And you know, there are dying is about the only thing you can do at suc. It makes you sound young. Maybe I should try it. Maybe getting a natural erection Is that another one? I don't know. I don't have a penis. Not yet Live long enough. There must be other things that you can do at sixty three that people can comment on. Visit an old people's home? Yeah to see all those things that make you look young. Do you have a favorite birthday that you've ever had in your life? Maybe when you were little? Not really. No, because actually weirdly, we were one of those families that didn't make a big fuss about birthdays. You know, some families really did. Oh yeah. I mean really did. And that carries on now to adulthood. where excess at birthdays makes me feel a bit quezy. Like I think I'd maybe a couple of birthday parties when I kid. My sister had a couple, but that was it And now You know, it was my sister's birthday back in January and I happened to be an Ied on her birthday and I said, happappy birthday. Did you buy her anything? No. Dive her a card? No. And she equally will not send me a card or present But who cares? Well, you've got enough stuff, haven't you? Yeah, and also Like just who cares? Yeah. It's just one more thing to have to worry about. I I do feel bad, like the only reason I'm still on Facebook is to be alerted to people's birthdays. Oh, is it? Yeah. I've never seen you on Facebook. No, I alert Oh you alert, Yeah. Right. Yeah. I I would never post or do anything No. But it's a good record of when Eone's birthday is What is? Well, there's dar is for that Yeah, but then you'd have to write things. Yeah,. And then you'd have to look at your diary now And also people with presents or birthdays, I think now we're at this age, the ripe old age, you don't want any more things because we've got money. You want money. Yeah Yeah I want I want to pay electricity Yeah. If you could just write me a check How much you want this year? Well, it's a big age. Yeah. It's a big age. I gave you a million last year. Do you really want me to increase that anotherother million would be welcome When when they would say Graham's on the rich list, I go, I know. I've put most of that into this account. Yeah. Birthdays and Christmas, birthdays and Christmas. A million Nothing less than a million will do. I'm famous, D't you know? Yeah. So rude to offer everything less. And cakes, do you like a cake Not really. I'm not a big cakey person. No Cheese? bigig stpe of cheese? No P's my birthday cheese. melted candle in my cheese. What about I know what I can do. I can get lovely Sebastian to make you one of those cakes. Oh, that looks like something. Yes. Like what's that show on Netflix? Is it cake? Yes, Is it cake or is it a thing? He should go on that. Yeahah, why hasn't he? I don't know. His cakes are very good. No, amazing looking. I mean, they're proper works of art. extraordinary. But also you don't want to eat them then because they are works of art I mean, but you can't keep a cave forever, can you tried. But do you remember? I'm like Miss Havashom with a wedding cake. No one came. But do you remember back in the day, people would send you a bit of the wedding cake? Yes. They don't do that anymore. No. Why? Because that seems like a good waste of money. Bea there are other wastes of money at your wedding. You know the way When they seem do They're always making you think of ways to spend more money at your wedding I'm surprised they don't do that. Well, I think because the post takes so long, it would be well off. By the time you' arrived at your doors I've got you a rat in a box. Also first class post is very, very expensive, Graham. True that. Listen, enough about birthday. We are here for the people, the listeners. Is that w? A dilemma is in our very near future E Maria, do you have a letter? Do you know Grahem? I do. Well isn't that great? Not in that envelope, Gram or in that Whenould I say, do you have a letter? I think the answer might be no. Oh no, it's. Oh, you have it. Oh m. I stuffed these earlier. Dear Graham and Maria, I'm a very lucky man with an amazing family and I love them to bits. Right. My wife is particularly devoted to our fourteen year old daughter, which is very sweet but they're like a proper tuesome. Here's what's grinding my gears It's plain as day to me that Like me, our daughter doesn't have a musical bone in her body. Yet my wife encouraged her to take up the violin a couple of years ago. This is some sentimental significance to my wife, who grew up playing her mother's violin so she wants it to run in the family, but it clearly doesn't, he puts in capital letters. Even after two years of practice and tutoring, the sound my daughter makes when she's playing in her room can be truly atrocious, even painful at times I really can't see it getting any better, but my daughter is happy to continue and my wife still thinks she might be about to unlock some sort of Godd given talent I'm going to pull my hair out. What do I do? Please help Wangers. And that is from Greg Greg, I hear you having played the violin myself. I mean the violin all the instruments you have to give her a violin. It is such a cacophony of noise when you don't get it right. I mean, I love the violin when it's played beautifully. Do you Yeah, when it's played beautifully. but You have to get past a certain point. and I think if it's been two years, Greg I'm not sure she's going to make it past that point. I think two years was about the time I gave up, but also What's amazing is that the daughter is still up in that bedroom kind of sounding like some cats being murdered. because the wife praising. The wife is praising and saying, you know, oh, it'll just be around the corner when suddenly you'll be doing Vivaldi's four seasons. And that is clearly not going to happen. And if you dig down, Greg, to your daughter, I wonder if she really does enjoy playing, or is she just trying to please mum? Now, here's the thing, Greg, I think the person you need to talk to here is your wife? No is whoever's teaching this kids the violin and just go Look two years in now What do you think becausecause becausecause the wife and the teacher may think actually You know, she does have a thing. I think bit more practice, it is going to get better or the teacher might kind of roll their eyes and go, well If I was I'd stop spending this. What if though Graham? There is no teacher. It's the wife who is teaching her then There's no hope Get rid of the wife and the daughter and the violet. Just leave on a ferry overnight. I send them on a busking tour of Europe. Yeah. loads of money. People feel sorry for them. Yeah. That poor child, that poor deluded child. I think, you know you have to really you have to talk to them both, but separately, obviously, because you don't want to make it a big thing. Say it to the wife, and I'm not sure this is happening. I think he's a bit afraid of his wife, frankly. Well, because it's sentimental for the wife, because the wife grew up playing her mother's violin. And so there's a kind of a link kind of a direct link back to the mother and she's thinking I'm going to pass this beautiful gift onto my daughter. Now beautiful's not a gift, it's a burden. It's horrible. But I feel like Greg You are gonna have to listen you've been listening to her for two years. You know, you've been listening for two years. bl That's how it is. So I think you've listen to for two years. I think you're going to have to listen to a bit longer because You're just going to, you are going to really upset these two women in your life. And you don't want to do that. It may well be that the daughter is quite good at something else, the clarinet, for example. or tuning out music. Not listening to things. I remember there was an episode of I loveove Lucy years ago and there was you know this kind of Romanie violinist in her house And she went, Is it true? You can make a violin cry? And the guy went, Yes it is. And then she got scissors and cut the strings. that should make it hysterical then. G joke. And I remember that from I was a child But I just Greg, I just think two years down the line It's too late now in a way. Yeah. You know, you could have rolled your eyes early doors, but now I do think talking to the teacher isn't a bad idea because the teacher might go Well, to be honest. And then you could say to the teacher Could you please say this to the wife? My wife that actually you know, thank you for your custom, but I think you're wasting your money now after. It would be a terrible blow to the daughter's confidence now. I think that's why you have to be tread very carefully here. But it'd be worse if who the hell was on my show Ben No, not Ben Affleck. Ben Stiller. Yeah. Ben Stiller was on the chat show and there was a clip of him and his sister when they were children. I loved that clip And it was his parents who were a famous double act. I've seen the document., it's a very nice. It's a great documentary. And there's a clip The parents bring them on national television and get the two of them to play the violin. And it's the most awful because the parents are literally sat there laughing at them and the children seem unaware of how God awful it is. It's really terrible. And I feel like that is, you know, Greg's going end this daughter is going to end up at a school concert with the whole school just going, Oh my God, what the hell is that? I mean, if it's anything like me and my mum when I was playing the violin, one day when I went to you know had a violin class I couldn't find the violin And so I had to miss it that week. And then and then I did look for it. and I said, Where's my violin? I can't find my violin anywhere. My momum said, I took it back to the school So you know, harsh Fair I got the message. Yes. And kind of I knew secretly that, you know, I wasn't good at the violin. Yeah. But it doesn't stop me when I'm drunk if there's a violin anywhere. Yeah. W, you do that I remember you bought me an accordion. It did buy you an A accordion? Yeah. Where is it now? I believe it's in a giant bin. But you know what? I think it's in storage. No, it's not. No I mean, it was rather nice, It was lovely. It had sort of mother of peearl on it and so on. It was a vintage. Obviously it's a vintage figure. got it. But no I think it's in storage. It was quite a good ob for your then house, I think. Yeah But the obs from that house, I think are in storage. In the bin. No, but no, it's in Well, stop No, exactly. As I'm sitting here, I'm thinking, I should be on the phone canceling storage. Yeah, really. Yeah. Or what's that show? with storage war is it? Yeah, sell your storage. When they go and just break into your storage. Oh no, because they buy the storage, they don't break in No don't you, But I think you stop paying for your storage. Oh, and then they sell the storage company se storage company goes, do you want what's in this? BeCause I've seen people go, I paid five hundred dollars for this and then they go through things and it's an old kettle and they go That's great. I'll get ten dollars ten for that. Yeah, That's the one. And it I think it's an auction, isn't it? You can bid on the various storage units. Yeah Someone would do very well if they got vic because there's an old or. lovely. Right, let's find out what the Wanger is Yeah. Let's do that thing because we clearly haven't helped. Neve says Hi, stressed out dad. There is nothing more frustrating than a parent shoving their dreams on their child. Speaking as a music teacher, I would sit and chat with your wife and ask her her honest opinion about your daughter's skills This talent might have skipped a generation. I would then have an honest chat with your daughter about her playing, tread lightly here as she is still a teen and she'll be self conscious. I would ask her if she actually enjoys it or is she doing it because her mum is delighted to share something with her. suuggest they look for a different hobby together Yeah, good advice, Nve. It is I mean and you're right, fourteen, you know, so But the kind of thing of if the mother and daughter are enjoying this this kind of mad thing, then just let it play out. Yeah, go out. Yeah. G downub. Kelly. Yeah. notot only is she in Dubai. Oh wow. She sent a voice note. Oh no. I completely sympathize with your dilemma As someone who's twelve year old briefly took up the recorder My prrimary piece of advice is earplugs and not the foam ones, proper ones I actually had custom earplugs made by a sound engineer. shaped to my ears and calibrated for maximum shriek deflection, it was worth every penny Failing that, take comfort in the cold, hard maths of adolescence. If your daughter is fourteen, you realisticallyically have about three weeks before the violin is tossed aside in favour of boys, girls, existential despair and vaping. Wow. I like that. especially like the end, boys, girls, existential despair and vaping is true I think you got that in a nutshell, frankly. I mean, she really went for it with those earplugs. Eleor says, Is this really about your instrument or is this a jealousy thing over your daughter and wife's connection? Learning an instrument is a fantastic thing to do and takes a lot of practice and patience. She may not be the next Hillary Hahn, but so what There are much worse things a fourteen year old could be involved in, trrueap. Support her and get over yourself. Quite harsh there from Eleanor. Yes. But you know, good point Lining well is Hillary H. I don't I wonder if you did. As you read it I thought she doesn't know who Hillary Hn is. I'm gonna hazard a guess though that Hilary Han is a very good violin b. Really good violin. Yeah yeah, yeah. there was a clue. I mean, she practed for USG's really good and we still don't know who she is. Or how to pronounce her name. Han or Han. I don't know. Lynne Wimbledon says, I think it's great that your daughter is learning to play an instrument I'm also impressed that she's happy to continue on with the lessons despite her slow progress. There is no way that you can ask her to stop her tutoring without causing upset and damaging her self esteem. Tell her you're delighted she's keeping up the practice, but say that the volume makes it hard for you to concentrate on other things. You then present her with an electric violin and head Who is this? Lynn in is a genius. Then only she can hear the music she is producing. Silent electric violins can be bought relatively cheaply on Amazon and will save you upsetting your daughter and your wife. Lynn's crack it. Oh my goodness, Lynn, that's brilliant I'm not even going to read the others I am. Absolutely brilliant. Yeah. But the other thing I would say is, you know this it will damage your self esteem. At some point I think you arent being a bad parent. Yeah, I know you don't go, you are rubbish. Yeah I mean, look My m just sent it back to the school. Yes. lookook at me, I'm perfectly It sin. no, But the thing you're not doing is and now to close the show, a tune on the violin. Until today A Th blind Let's see what Kathy says. Being a parent or any member of any family isn't all sweet, sweet music. Children are noisy and exhausting, parents are petty dictators. But it's a glorious time full of laughter, fights and hugs, and it passes so quickly. If you're noise sensitive, get some headphones and applaud her efforts, not with the headphones on Your daughter will have left home in four to six short years. I bet you'll miss the scorwking then. U Do you think Yeah Yeah. I'm not so sure. Greg, a lot of parents sympathize with your problems. So thanks for writing in. Incidentally, Greg wrote into wanging on at listen. co Uk. and that's our email address. so you could use it if you've got a dilemma. We'll have another one in just a moment. The grill is shot. The chairs are held together by optimism to the rug. Make your outdoor setup is not ready for patio season Fix it all with Wayfare, shop Wfare for grills, rugs, furniture, and more ith twenty million five star reviews, room of choice delivery, and experts set up on qualifying orders, it's never been easier to do more for less. Get ten percent off your first eligible purchase Hurry to wayayfare. com or download the app now Maria, Maria, how do Wangers get these episodes as soon as they drop? Oh well, you see, Grim, you can tap foollow on Spotify or subscribe on YouTube or your podcast app of choice. Totally free. Plus on Spotify, you can tap the little bell icon and then you get notified when a new episode drops. They really have thought of everything. What a world, Maria. That's every Monday, by the way Maria McCurling cannot contain her excitement as she rips open envelope number two. She does It should be very easy. one, two two It really should. I make a meal of it every time, Graham. Okay D Graham and Maria My mother in law is seventy and has long struggled with her weight Around thirteen years ago, for my sister in law's wedding, she lost around ten stones. W. But since then the weight has gradually returned and more. As she's got older, her weight and lack of mobility have slowly become an increasing concern. Over the years, we've all tried in our own way to raise our worries gently but honestly partarticularly around her steps each day, her mobility and long term health. Unfortunately, these conversations never seem to sink in. Even small suggestions like offering to walk around block together once a week are shut down. Exercise bikes and weights have been bought with good intentions, but they've ended up unused. ing as clothes rails and eventually been given away. She no longer goes to the supermarket and now has all her shopping delivered, meaning even the small amount of walking she used to do has disappeared altogether We feel increasingly worried about her weight, her diet and her lack of exercise, and the impact these will have on her independence, mobility and health in the years to come. The problem is nothing we've tried so far seems to make any difference. How can we get through to her without pushing her away or making her feel judged Love the podcast and that is from Robert. Robert, I know that is coming from a place of concern. but You know, your mother in law is fully aware of everything that's going on. She's fully aware that she's too heavy, that she should get more exercise. You know, there's so much in this world that is I should be doing this, I ought to be doing this And, you know, This is her body, her life and ultimately her decision I think you have to look at the underlying problems here or the root of this, because we know she can do it. She did it for the sister in law's wedding. When you're seventy, what are you doing? You're thinking I need some comfort, perhaps. I'm a bit lonely, I don't get out, I don't see people anymore because I don't get out. It is that use it or lose it scenario, you keep walking and you will be able to keep walking So what is making her keep piling on the pounds You know, you've told it to her and you've said it and other people have said it and she's probably sick of hearing that I don't know what the solution is other than to tackle the underlying reason. What do you think? It's so tricky. So she was in her late fifties when she managed to lose ten. Yeah. And I think it maybe, we don't know, I mean, I suppose it's one of those thingsings as the weight comes back you gradually feel defeated by. I think so and also because, you know You know, I've never been that heavy, but when I've lost like two or three stone It's amazing, the amount of energy it gives you. You feel so much lighter getting out of bed. So I imagine this woman Everything is an effort right now. So the idea of losing weight is just overwhelming. You see, she had a motivation before for the sister wedding. Obviously at that age, she didn't want to be appearing as the mother with you know the chubby mum I don't think there's any motivation. There's no reasoning for her. She probably you know because a lot of people reach this age and they kind of go, o, I'll just sit in this chair now until I die. But I'ated. Yes, but I think there's also the there's a selfishness to it because Robert and the rest of the kids that have to look after her are gonna have to everything and it's going to be so hard. And if she's too heavyift, then she'll end up at home so quickly. She's only seven. You know, if she could turn it around. Is that enough of a motivation to know that your children are going to have to do everything? or is it that you just feel defeated by that? And also this is what I have to look forward to My mobility will fade more, I'll get fatter. and you know, I don't care if I die. It's a bit like that. I feel that she's lost the will now clearly. You can't give her that. She has it has to come from her. But you're absolutely right, Maria. You know, this is not a child, this iss not an idiot. This is a seventy year old woman who has lost weight in the past and must have felt great when she did Uh She knows. she knows, you know, the fact that she stopped going to the supermarket. That's because it was very tiring dragging herself around to the supermarket. Yeah. So It But is that all she did? Because if that is all she did, then you need to look at her life because no wonder she's sitting at home just eating if that's all she had to look forward to was the supermarket. Does she go out? Does she see people? Has she got a social life still? Seventy is not that old in the great scheme of years. But I think if you've limited your mobility, suddenly seventy does seem old because As you say, I'm not going out. I'm not seeing people. it has to come from her spark of right Yeah. I'm going do this but And it must be so frustrating for people who love her or are thinking, in a minute, I'm going have to be looking after this woman because you want to help, you want to provide the spark, you want to provide the motivation, but I don't think you can. It has to come from. It has to come from. So that's why I think the underlying problem needs to be addressed. And also now We do have these GLP one drugs that people can take that help with losing weight, but again, you need motivation. They don't work. It's not magic. Yeah If like OzZenic or Wgovia. Yeah. But no but you can still eat on those things if you want to. Yeah. know it takes away, I think some people, it does take away their appetite, but if you're eating for other reasons, it's not going loneliness, like boredom.. know what does she do at home all day? All these things, I think need to be looked at rather than you the end result is that she's getting fatter and she's losing her mobility. You need to find out why. and give her that reasoning back. Sall we see what the wearing? Well it see the wearing is think because I think you know, the temptation is things like, o, get a dog and d da, but I think she'll just You know, the dog won't get walked. It seems that she's gone past that point. and you know, there are some seventy year olds who are very happy to just watch Holmes under the hammer Quite likeel do I? Yeah. Tickets is real deal. Hello Okay, let's see. Liv from New York says when it comes to the issues of someone's weight Cext is so important. Did your mother in law go through anything particularly difficult over this time as she might be struggling with depression or some other anxiety that is making it hard for her to leave the house and be active? This is most likely why she is rejecting the help and support from you all, although buying someone unsolicited exercise equipment can instill a bit of resentment Regardless of the best intentions, instead of telling her what she needs to do about her health, it may be more productive to show her what activity and community she can engage in if she were to get up and out every day. I mean, inviting her places, giving her things to do, rather than kind of nagging her about, o, you must go for a walk, say, Oh We're going out to do this. Yeah. We're going to the garden center, we're going to the ast We're going have a lunch, something salad for you. But It's spiders webbons some grrafts for you But no for just things to get her out of the house, you know, because You know, don't we don't know how heavy this woman is now, but you know, it'll get to a point where it's harder for her to get in and out of cars, all of that sort of stuff. Well, it sounds to me like she's on the cusp of sort of mobility scooter already. But as she gets her everything delivered, there's no reason for her to go out. But what sort of life is that for somebody just staying in all the time? So I do feel rather than nagging Robert and telling her, you know, come on, you've got to get your steps in. You've got to be proactive with this. Yeah, and give her reasons to leave the house. And give her reasons and give her something to look forward to and excitement And then hopefully she'll get her mojo back, which is clearly what she's lost. Matt in Hove says, My mum had a similar issue a few years ago and I've stopped framing it with phrases like it's about your health because it fills her with shame and negativity. I tri to have conversations about what she likes doing and then doing it with her. Since then In the summer, we go swimming a lot. She's also seventeen and loves it. She's now made a group of friends all of similar ages and they all swim together and socialize, etcer. We also capitalized on her love for nature and the outdoors and bought a national Trust membership. One word of warning, try and stay away from the National Trust caafes because they are litted with very unhealthy treats, which nullify the good work the walking does. I think that's good advice, man all of that's good. And you've taken it, you know by the horns and done things with your mum, which I think is the c. And actually think both those people are saying, you know, that idea of giving in, you know, giving exercise equipment or talking to them about, o, we're worried about your health, d That's heavy. also it seems impossible. It just suddenly, you know it seems insurmountable. Wh you know We're going to Wentworth House. Great, let's go. See that what you' doing is not caring, you're nagging. If you were caring, you would be doing these things with her and giving her motivation and so on. And yes, it's boring and dull to have a parent that needs kind of looking after, but that's what they did for you. Yeah But at seventy you shouldn't be looking after your No mother No, but that's the they're going. What are you trying to dog? I. Okay trying to get up Allison says, Your mother in law knows how to lose weight, see the previous tenenstone loss. so your weight loss focus suggestions and purchases are fool's errands. Stop them Maybe she needs a special event to look forward to as an incentive to lose weight. Perhaps focus on that and see what happens. That's kind of what we're saying, Alison. Yeah. Voice note. It's from Luke in Wicklow. Is that an Island? A sure it is. now, what does Luke have to say Sounds like you've been pushing her away and making her feel judged for the last thirteen years. These situations, parents don't listen the same way we didn't listen when we were teenagers She has to find out for herself. She could be paralyzed by the fact that she's been given all this Weird encouragements that could be paralyzing A dog, maybe, would let go G I feel like Luke might work in therapy or something. I liked Luke. Yeah, no, it was very sensible. But from the dog thing because that dog will just sit in the house That w you know if she doesn't Yeah, I don't know. There's a lot of people on the coast where I live that have mobility scooters and they take their dog for a walk on their mobility scooter. So they're out in air, they're seeing people, they're chatting. You can do those things. And hopefully because she's only seventy, maybe if she loses a bit of weight, she won't need a mobility scooter, but maybe that's, you know, don't get it if you don't need it yet. Yes. OK Anymore for anymore? Yeah. Rebecca says, she's seventy. she knows she's overweight, she doesn't need it to explain to her. What you're missing is the lifetime that came before this moment decades of being watched, judged and commenting on. Her body treated as public property in a way men simply don't experience. smmile more, eat less, move more. be better. If after all that she's decided she's done performing health and virtue for other people, that isn't denial, it's sovereignty So while she's enjoying popping chocolates into her mouth in peieace, you can do her the courtesy of putting a sock in yours. She's earned the right to live in her body on her terms, stop trying to manage her, stop pretending this is about concern, and let the woman get on with her life. Well, true, Rebecca, but her life will be significantly shorter. and also It will impact other people. You know, you're talking about, o, it's her sovereignty, but actually no becausecause her decisions are directly influencing and affecting her children and her son in law and all of that.. they're going to have to deal with this. So in principle, I understand what Rebecca is saying, but in practical terms No, I think, you know, you have to I hope that this woman can turn things around. There is a bit of a selfishness, I think you're right, but she has also given up. so try to stop. That is the deal, I think. Robert, the universal advice here is don't nag and try and find some activities together. Hopefully some of that helped. Right. and amm I weird is in our future? we Yes Today's Mi weird comes from Annie in Germany H Graam and Maria It's weird that every Thursday my flat mate and I pretend that I'm a dog for half an hour. Yes And about wraps it up, I Yeah, I think that's It all started after my flatmate mentioned that she'd love to have a pet. I refuse to get an animal in this flat as were students, but I offered myself to play a pet once a week. Instead, it's called Dogy Donnerstag in German, which means doogy Thursday in English In case you're wondering what it looks like when we're not, as soon as I hear her going into the kitchen in the morning or the Thursday, I make dog sounds and she prepares a bowl of water for me. I have drunk from it, but I usually use the water for my flowers so it's basically a reminder for me to water them. So smart. Sometimes she pets me. Last week I found a dog blanket next to the water bowl, which I found really lovely. My friends, yes, I do have friends. thinkink it's a bit weird, but we're board students so we try and fill our week Do they have daytime tening Dash crime TV. Yeah. Oh, I really hope Docy Donnerstag doesn't become a thing I mean, really. I feel there's something kind of vaguely sexual going on here with the being petted by your flat mate. Yeah. I mean, et a Get a room basically. Soon. Annie's going to be humumping her leg in a minute, isn't she? Well, that is the ultimate. obbviously, that is what happens eventually. If you get too much love from your owner, you have to do a little bit of humumping. I mean, look you're not you're not harming anyone. you're not harming anyone, but I feel Annie, that once this stops, as in when you stop living together You must never mention it again E T anyone To anyone. It must be, you it never happened. I think this will reach an ultimate conclusion, which might be that there is some sort of sexual activity And then I'm afraid one of you have to die. Dogs don't live that long. I know. Every year is seven years and you move out. yourour flat maid will bring you to the vet And that'll be the end of it. Are we saying weird or not weird? be hon, you're not doing anyone any harm. so if it floats your boat, do it, but I would say weird. Yeah I'd say weird. I'm walking into the flat and I'm going, sweet Jesus, that's weird. Yeah there. 'Cause where does it stop? It'll be a callor next and a lead and you'll be going out on the Autobarn in Germany Lifting your leg. A least she hasn't got to that extange Yeah. But at the moment it's not doing anybody any harm. but Maybe get on a TV show like you are a trash or something. Oh, that'd be a good idea. Yes. Yeah. Modern day equivalent. Yeah. Doggie Donnerstag you you know what a YouTube channel? Yeah. lookook, there's a room for everyone, isn't there? on the YouTube. And so petting dogs. So I think viewers will be disappointed that all that happens is she drinks a bit from They'll have to up their g and then puts it in the flers They'll have to up their game for YouTube and I think they'd be happy to up their game. think Annie is waiting to hear a can opener for those worms to start wiggling out. Yeah and to yeah, and just kind of like, lovely chum Oh that. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah no, no. Oh yeah, no. I was thinking of the can of worms of where this could go. Yeah. Chumen. Chummen. Whatever what's German for chum? I don't knowoined Finnd Frond. Is it? Isn't Fin, friend? It probably is. Well, Annie, well not writing in here, am I weird? Good girl. Good girl. Get off the sofa. Do Do you think with all to telly sh'it the floor? You want a little treat? A L treat? Anyway, that is the end of this edition of Wanging O on with Graham and Maria. For advice from proper experts about any of life's dilemmas Head to our Instagram and click on to the link Svices You can find that on Wanging onn. Wanging onn with Grend Marie is a list of production and guess what? Yeah next week we're doing it all again. so we'll see you then goodbye