Cardboard Cutout Security and Closing

Ooh. Kiwi . A great story, like Monsters Inc. stays with you forever. And Disney Plus is where you'll find your next great story. From the return of the award-winning hit series Rivals. Welcome to the naughtyest show on television. To the unmissable crime drama high potential. Gotta dead body, gotta go. A lifetime of great stories awaits. This spring on Disney Plus .18 Plus. Subscription required. Ts and C's apply. Good evening to everyone in the UK. I mean, I think that's rather charming of you to say that. I like a soft back wool. Do you? Do you that's what you look for? It's rare for us to get a letter from someone who is the problem. Hello, hello, and welcome to this episode of Wanging On with Graham and Maria. I am Graham, that is Maria, and uh we specialise in giving advice you might take with a pinch of salt. That is the gist of the whole thing. Yeah, don't take it seriously. No, exactly. Or do. W yes No, don't w I don't uh I don't know. See See how you feel. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. My bags are packed, Maria. For Eurovision. I'm off to uh Viennet. I love that you had to think about that. Vienna. Vienna. You've probably been to so many countries in Europe now, haven't you? I I which are quite well travelled, yes. Is it a Viennetta? Vienne Vienetta, yes, with the ice cream. Yeah. don't there's a video of that being made, it doesn't look nice. I read a book. Yes. Called Vianetta. Book. And I don't can't remember what it's called or anything, but there was a whole chapter on the man who invented the machine to make the Vianetta. Well I've seen I've seen the machine in action and it's good. Yeah. There's a video of m Viennetta's being made and you won't want to eat one again. I think it's sadder to have watched the video than to have read a chapter in a book. I don't know. I don't know. My algorithm will now be full of people making Viennets. Are we digressing from Vienna? Oh we are. Vienna. Tell us about Vienna. What's going on? Have you been there before? Uh I have because Cochita Verse won in 2014 and off we went to Vienna. Um the thing is, like uh it's weird because I've been to so many cities around Europe with Eurovision now. Yeah but I honestly I feel like one of those pop stars who goes on tour because you don't really see anything. You see backstage in an arena and a hotel room. That's it. Do you not stay on I think you did stay on a couple of days on the book? Depends where it is. So like we did stay on in Lisbon. Yeah. Nice. Very nice. Uh when we were in Malmo, we stayed on went to Copenhagen. Nice. Yeah. 'Cause Malmo Nothing. I mean what's really annoying if somebody wins, here's my tip. If somebody wins Eurovision, right, pop it in your capital city. We don't want to go to the other ones. We don't want to go to also appearing. Yeah. We don't want to go to Frankfurt or Malmo. Cut to this time next year. But I'm guessing when you went to Moscow and um shall we say Baku you didn't stay on? No. I mean Baku was so extraordinary because just so far away. Like it it started at midnight that year. So How did you stay awake? Uh you know, coffee. A lot of drugs. Uh Were they easy to get? Paku c is really yeah, I mean a wash with drugs. Yeah. Cartels a joke. Um Always good to keep in with the cartels the minute you land. Uh no, because apparently they'd they'd cleared uh housing like people had lived where the where the stadium was built uh and they just got rid of they said you don't live there anymore because it's quite uh photogenic so we're putting the stadium up. And then we don't hear about this, you see. No, and then Faku, there's loads of money obviously as a Pajan, they've got oil. Yeah, so lots and lots of money. So you drive down the kind of the big strip by the river, and it's like by by the sea, and it's palm trees. It looks fabulous, and it's Gucci, Dolci Gabana, Prada, all the amazing shops. If you go one street back, there are just chickens pecking at the ground. I mean it's just it it really is Prada chicken design. These designers go to great lengths though to sort of do the yin and yang. Yeah, it was it was very odd. So you can get some eggs and a lovely crowd of jacket at the same time. Yeah, so Gucci basket to put them in. That'd be nice. Um and is there somewhere where you really loathed being Eh no, good like I say, because it's all it it they all kind of blur into one in the end. How many years have you been doing it now? I think I've been doing it quite a long time. Uh I did Moscow, whenever it was in Moscow last, was that 2012, 2010, 2020 ? I don't know. I've been doing it a long time now. Someone's gotta tell us now. They're Googling it. Yeah, good. It is sad that I don't know the answer to that question. Well, you're very busy, Mr. Nine. Well, I didn't know. So 2009. I started But the nice thing is that you were quite lonely when you first started when you went there, but now you've got a husband you can take with you. Yes. Does he enjoy it? He does like . Does he come into the commentary box with you? No. Not allowed. No, no. Your uh accreditation doesn't get you that far. And do you sometimes sit in the commentary box and think, oh , I'm now just going to say bum fuck bugger on the BPC just because I can and no one's here to tell me off. That's why you don't have that job. Sorry, they've never given me accreditation. Because that that thought would cross your mind about 30 seconds in . Good evening to everyone in the UK, bum fuckbugger. I mean I think that's rather charming of you to say that. So shall we talk about this year's entry? Oh look Mom, no computer. Yeah, I know oh I don't know. Actually uh oddly, I mean this year uh b uh uh it's a big you know, the UK taking a big swing because it's a big kind of techno dance thing. It does not sound like a song from the UK, which is indicated by the fact it's called Eins weidry. Yeah. It's uh very uh European of us. Um but it is a big banger. I can imagine that's we've tried everything else, haven't we? We've got to do a big banger , it will get the arena going. And also , uh, it's an odd year. Uh there's no real theme for these uh songs. You know, normally there's lots of dance music or there's lots of ballads. Have you heard all of them? Uh most of them, yeah. Anything standing out or are you not allowed to say? Well uh you're allowed to say Australia Which of course is in Europe. Uh yes. Don't don't pick at that thread. Why? Delta Gudrum. They're sending I know. Someone you've heard of. Was she in neighbours? Probably. Yeah. Or home in a way. Yeah. I think it's like Jewry Service. So you like Australia. You get a letter through the post. Oh do home and away next summer. Jewelry service. That's hilarious. Oh no. I was doing so well in my job and I've got to quit and do nominal. Do I have to take my shirt off? Oh no. So you've heard a lot of them. Yes, and uh Australia, she can sing like nobody's business and it's a proper you know it's one of those Eurovision songs where you know there isn't an octave left on the floor unturned and it bills and bills and bills. Uh, if she can do it on the n ight, uh, it'll be really spectacular. But can I just ask, if they win, what happens then? Well, this is so interesting. Yes, it's so interesting because last night I was doing uh an interview on Australian radio with Joel Crasy. Yeah. And he used to be the Australian commentator, but he doesn't do it anymore. But he was saying that apparently every year uh Australia make a deal with someone. So in case they win, what country will host for them? They do a deal. And who will it be? Do you know? He didn't know. Oh he didn't know. Yeah. He feels maybe they do deals with multiple countries, but don't tell anyone. I feel we should be told all of this. Well, I'll be investigating this the minute I get to Vienna. I'll have a magnifying glass out and a deerstalker. I think my my favorite listening and watching, you know, I've been to lots of different parties. Um was once uh well well it was when Conchito won. Oh I know. Which was Vienna last time in twenty fourteen because I no she won somewhere else. Oh. Because she was Austrian. Oh yeah, it was because she won. We went to the right. So it was the year before then. Yeah. I watched it with Nigella Lawson, just the two of us, and everybody, the minute Conchita, we cried. We cried because that was I think the last really emotive, it was like a James Bond theme, wasn't it? Rise like a Phoenix. It was like a song Shirley Bassie rejected. Yeah, yeah, it really was. And then everybody was doing the memes of them with a beard like Conchita and we I made Nigella do one . I think she might have had a drink so she agreed. Yeah, here's what I made earlier . And she looked very good as concita. I mean everybody was doing concita if you remember. Yes. Within moments of Conchita appearing. Yeah. But I love that song. Still love it. So in my time, that's been my that is my favourite memory. That was the one that made you kind of cry. Yeah, I think my favourite moment uh from your vision in my time. Maria, I'm hoping it'll be douze pong for today's dilemmas. Oh I see what you did there. We'll be getting them in just a moment. Right, Maria. First letter off the block, please. Here we go. Look, I remember every time now. No, absolutely you are on it. Quite a long one. Oh god, that's a lot of words. What? I just glanced over, I think. Wow, it's single space. Go good luck, Maria. No, glasses. No. Glasses a bit dirty. Come on, everyone, we can do this . Dear Graham and Maria, I don't drink, and my husband isn't a big drinker e,ither. We have a teen age son who hasn't yet shown any interest in drinking, unlike some of his peers. We have discussed it openly and said that if he wants to try it, he can, as long as we are with him. Brackets, as he's underage. The problem is that one of his best friend's parents seemed very determined to get our son to drink. This is despite them being our friends and knowing that we're reluctant to offer him alcohol while he isn't asking for it. I know there will come a time when he wants to drink, but for now I'm not pushing it. Recently we went out to dinner with this couple and their son. When my husband and I left, our teenage son stayed on with his friend and the friend's parents. As soon as we were gone, they bought him a pint and encouraged him to drink it. He came home and told us that he had felt pressured to finish it. We had a chat about how much we appreciated him telling us and that we don't want him to drink when his dad or I aren't with him. I'm not sure what to do. I know they judge me for not drinking, and I also know they'll be offended if I raise it with them. I don't want to turn it into a big drama, especially as we're friends and our sons are close. I might understand it more if it were his teenage friends pushing drinks on him, as that could be put down to youth and immaturity. But I don't understand why this couple seem so determined to get my son drinking. It's like they see it as a challenge. How would you approach this? Thanks from a frustrated parent. Ooh, those friends are assholes. I I do think, you know, we're talking about under a age kids now. And of course everybody does all of that. You know, you get a bottle of cider when you're nine or whatever. A window into your world . Vomit it straight back up. Lovely. Happy memories. Oh to be a child again. It's a rite of passage. But I think the fri the friends are being irresponsible and I don't know why they're pushing it. They're just being dicks. They're being dicks. Other than to annoy you because they know you're kind of a little bit antsy about it. Yeah. Or your son is kind of, you know, telling you tales, but really he does want to drink. We don't know. I think the way forward and you you know, say you don't want to raise it with them, well then shush because I think you have to raise it with them. You have to say, look, raise it with the mum and she can then pass it on. I think you know, don't you don't have to make it a big deal. Raise it with your friend who is the mum of the son and say, you know, we're not pushing this. There's a s whole thing about alcohol that we're not really happy with. And we're just gonna let him wait and see. Well, I think what you do is I mean, because if you raise it then I think y you can use this as a teachable moment where you say to the son, actually, this is good. If you do not want to have a drink, and because as he gets older and he's going to university if he doesn't want to have a drink today, you know, you have to be able to articulate it and just go, actually, I don't fancy it. Thanks. You know, don't bother buying me a pint. I don't want one. I'll have a Coke, please. This isn't a treat. You're not being the cool parents by buying me this pint. I don't want it. Yeah. And I'm not not drinking because my parents don't want me to drink. I'm not particularly interested. Yeah. And I think, you know, that would be a very mature thing for him to do For him to do. And also just add, uh my mother thinks you're a stupid bitch. Don't add that. Don't add that. I mean, you know, these are your friends. You should be able to say to them Why are you friends with them? They sound awful. Well, they've got a thing about the drink, and then maybe they think you're being too you're kind of wrapping him in cotton wool, which might be true, by the way. It does sound like you're kind of overprotective, because the kid can say, no, I don'd rather have a Coke. I don't really like the taste of beer, thank you. But he's in a weird, I think you're in a weird situation. If you're a kid and you're with your parents' friends, and they're f kind of saying, go on, drink it, drink it, drink it. You're thinking, what should like you know what I mean? I think these people need to empower their son to say, no, you have every right in a social setting to say, I don't particularly want to drink. Well the fact that he's come back to his parents and told them about this, and I didn't really want to finish it because I didn't really want it in the first place means that he could have indeed done that. But I feel like these middle-aged people are going chug, chug, chug, chug. It's just weird. It doesn't. I mean, look, even as a grown-up, if you're in a situation where somebody goes, Oh, you know, drink every world drinks, and you go, no, I have a Coke, and they go, have a drink, come on, what's wrong with you? I'm in an AA. You know, you kind of sometimes have to have a drink. It's only a matter of time before you do anyway. There's another meeting tomorrow. Do you know what I mean? You do get pressured sometimes. Oh yeah. And I don't know why. It's because does it feel like you're somehow judging them by having a Coca-Cola while they're having a triple vodka or whatever? There's an urgency to make everyone be in the same gang, which I think the son's parents are in. We want you all to be in the same gang so that you don't kind of laugh at us when we're drunk and falling over. And also isn't there a weird thing that people feel validated by other people doing what they've done? Yeah. You know, it's like being in a relationship. You know, I got married, so everyone should get married. I had a baby, so everyone should have a baby. I get drunk and sleep in my own vomit, so everyone should do that. That is nice though, isn't it waking up in cold vomit and it'd be really easy to style your hair . And sometimes choking on your own vomit. I've never done that. Well it's always better than choking on someone else's vomit, I think. Oh absolutely. I've done that . I've seen the video. Kissing kissing someone. No, no, no, no. I think you uh look, between you and your son, you'd be at you seem to be on the same page. So it's up to him, but he's a kid and he's obviously bowing to peer pressure. I think own it, um, person, frustrated parent, own it and talk to the and if if they say, Well, we're not coming out with you again, so be it. As Graham says, they're not very nice. I don't know why you're friends with these people. They sound absolutely idiotic. Um have the wangers been in touch about this problem? I don't know, Graham. I'm gonna hazard a guess. Yes. Come on, wangers . Okay . Carol is in Minneapolis and she fully for her. And she says, this is strange behaviour for adults pushing alcohol on someone underage. I suspect this couple have their own problems with alcohol and want to normalize it by pushing the behavior on others. Perhaps subconsciously, not really subconsciously, is it? Kudos to your son for being honest with you. That shows you have a good relationship. Ask your son what would make him most comfortable. Choosing to avoid being alone with the other parent without you present, speaking up for himself when they offer him alcohol, or you talking to the parents about it directly. Carol in Minneapolis, good. It is good. Yeah. You hinted at it earlier. Oh yeah. I wonder if the son is being entirely. honest Well there is that. I mean young boys. Is he just is he just necking pints the minute they're not there and then going oh we've got to go it's awful. They re peat They made me drink my eight pint. Oh, it was awful. It was really ter rible. Uh yeah, I wonder if he's stirring the pot a little. He loves the your impression of this boy. It was awful. It was really terrible. Oh my god, it was a whole pint, the whole thing. With the straw. I had to do the whole thing with a straw Rachel says I bought my kids up in a household where we rarely drink, but with two grandfathers who are alcoholics. You don't talk to the parents, you arm your son, because he's going to meet people like this his entire life. Help him prepare his responses beforehand. Say, Oh, you know what I really want is a coke, and don't explain. If they keep insisting , he can ask, Are you okay? Do you need me to drink? That always shuts people up. Always bear in mind that your son may secretly like drinking, but feels guilty about it and doesn't want to upset you. Rachel has read between every line in the screen. She has been listening to you. Oh my god. These guys sound like great parents . They've properly identified alcohol as a challenging issue, especially for young people. It is indisputably the gateway towards the drug use. And they've managed to create an environment where its use and abuse is neither demonized, which can be a real attraction to young people, nor casually accepted, which is pretty much one of the major societal problems we have in the UK. The evidence for this is that their son communicates with them as he does. These guys need to stick with their parenting approach, which seems to be working well. But if they're asking their son to grow a pair, that means they too have to grow a pair. Take their friends aside, tell them it's not up for discussion. This is how they choose to parent and their wishes need to be respected even where disagreed with Goodness, I thought there was a radio four phone in. That was that was very serious, wasn't it? I couldn't take that. Societal problems. We didn't think that would come up today. It was very good though, Andrew. But I could I kept thinking that it was the Gypsy King, Tyson Fury talking. Oh. He sounded a little bit like Tyson Fury. I imagine he mans a canal boat. On the Amsterdam canal. Societal problems, I tell you. You know at the back of my bar just today . Very good. Sean has sent in something from Bangkok. Oh my goodness. Sean says I've rewritten this a few times trying to explain away the friend's parents' actions or play devil's advocate. But this just sounds weird and wrong. A huge red flag. The most important thing here is that the parents of your son's friends are disregarding his own and your wishes. For whatever reason they may have, they don't sound like safe people for your son to be around. My only suggestion would be to break all contact with the parents, his friend can come to yours, but not unsupervised. And as for the parents being upset or you causing drama, which matters more? Your son's well being or upsetting someone who ignores and judges you negatively already? Ooh . I think Sean's escalated that problem quite a lot. I know. I think he could maybe he shouldn't have rewritten it several times. Because he's wound himself into a ball of theory. He really has. Frustrated parent, thank you so much for sharing that dilemma with us. We had an enormous response from the wangers. And just so you know, nobody thinks you're overreact ing and no one thinks you're kind of building a drama out of nothing. The other thing you should all know is uh myself and Maria, and this will come as a shock, are not experts. But if you go to the bio on our Instagram, uh you can find a link there to proper support services. We're gonna have another dilemma in but a moment . Mar ia, I hear Wanging On is quite the social media presence. That we do, Graham, on our Instagram page at Wanging On we post all manner of clips and dilemmas. But what about Facebook? We're there too, Graham. Give us a follow. But Maria, if I'm down with a youth and I'm on TikTok. We are there too, Graham. Again, it's Wanging On. And we're on TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram, whatever your social media platform of choice. There really is no escaping us . Maria, do you have another letter open? Dear Graham, Maria and all the wangers. I live in a very nice housing estate. Thank you for sharing your dilemma. Thank you . No. Dear Graham Maria and all the wangers, I live in a very nice housing estate where mostly everyone gets along. A number of years ago the, neighbours in the house behind ours rather aggressively asked us not to plant any tall foliage along our back wall, as they were afraid it could block some of their light. While we would have loved to accommodate them, we were seeking additional privacy. And so plantings and foliage helped us by blocking the direct view we had from our kitchen window into their bedrooms. Since then in what, I am certain is an act of revenge, they have grown invasive ivy up their back wall that is starting to encroach into our garden. I've been okay with cutting it back for a while, but now it's getting out of hand. I'm pretty sure , though not a hundred percent positive, that we can cut the stems that have invaded our garden and dab them in a type of weed killer that will soak back to the root and kill the whole plant. I know I'm not within my rights to poison the pesky plant, so it mysteriously dies off, but can I do it anyway? From anonymous. My goodness, people are dying in the world, Craig. I just feel like there is another podcast somewhere where the people on the other side of this back wall have written in to talk about anonymous. Like it this is rare, I think. But anonymous is the- Do you think it's rare? Do you think it's rare? No, no, no. I think the problem it's rare for us to gotta letter from someone who is the problem . Hey, it's me. Yeah. And the problem, it's me now we have to pay Taylor Swift. Well they were perfectly reasonable. You know, th she says or I don't know why I said she. Might be a man. Um ask rather aggressively asks us not to plant anything. Don't you dare plant anything. Yeah. Block our life. We don't want a dark bedroom No. Well anyway, now they have dark bedrooms. Because they did plant something. Well also you can plant something up to your fence height. I mean if it's like one of those Leylandes that then goes, you know, up to nineteen feet, then obviously. But you can plant something on your fence height. Yeah, but that won't uh help with their privacy. Like they've done they've obviously what they've planted has obviously gone beyond the fence. Right. Now you're assuming the the ivy? Yeah. Anonymous just cut it more regularly. Just cut it. No, you only have to cut ivy twice a year. I have ivy in my neighbour's garden, and when it comes into my garden, I snip it off. Yeah. And there you go. And then I've killed them. Yeah. And also you then I've I did it twice and I was really annoyed. I thought, oh I've got I've got these shears now. I'll just go round. It needed a haircut. Um but also you can't I don't think you know Ivy's quite uh good at staying alive and you can't just poison it like that. You But even if you can No, don't poison it. Don't it's illegal. You can't poison people's things. No, and and just I just really I've I really feel like, you know, you made the first move here. By planting something on your back wall. Well, by pl by planting these tall plants for privacy, making their bedrooms very dark. They did some ivy. That's all they did. Yeah. Which comes over your fence. And you can cut it. So do so twice a year, you claim. Yeah. And I would also try and make friends with your neighbours . You know, it's just so tiring. I know, but it's too late now. Oh well, is it though Yes. Yes, it's too late. This this has escalated. I kind of want to know what they've planted on their on their wall that is. Do you? I really do. Well, for this moment in time obviously in three seconds I will have forgotten all about it. Who What did you say? You planted what? Back wall. What? I do think y that your problem is not a problem and you have made it worse. I think you are the problem. I mean that's harsh, I know. But uh you did the b the b I you know, I don't know if it's a bad thing. You wanted privacy, you got your privacy, they lost their light. did They some ivy. That is not a really aggressive thing to do. Yeah. They just wanted to soften their back their back wall. Yeah. And uh and now it's it's it's coming over a bit. I like a soft back wall, don't you? Do you? Do you that's what you look for ? I just think something you can get your fingers between. And also she says that or ch I they say you know it's getting out of hand now. Like how long is it is it like painting the fourth bridge or something? By the time I've cut that end of the ivy I've got to start again it's like playing a video game, you know, invasive ivy. I j it just you just cut it twice. Twice a year, I think. Twice a year. I I like the we keep saying twice a year, like we know what we're talking about. But you sound like you do do it. I do know, because I've got some. And you know, I cut it in the summer and then I'll have a little look and then I'll cut it in the winter. Yeah. And um Depending on what I've got on, Graham. And the worst I mean look, the worst thing that could happen is because you know, certain sort of ivies can't get into the Nookie Cranis. Nookie and they can destroy the wall. Bad for your wall. Yeah. And then the wall falls down. And then you're gonna fight about that. Yeah. There you go. I think maybe step back anonymous and just think to yourself, do I really want to take this on? Or are there other hills that I wish to die on? And also whatever, I mean to to go to the actual question they asked, no. You can't poison poison the ivy. You shouldn't that shouldn't even have crossed your mind. Poison the neighbors, maybe. I'm joking. I mean the thing is it is a very nice housing estate. I think I should have just left it at that, really, shouldn't I? That's when I lost interest, certainly. And have the Wangers bothered to get in touch? I'm really not confident they will have. You better bet that they have. Oh great. Here we go. Been there done that in Kill Dead. Oh great. Ireland says Home of the Ivy. This is juicy. They hate you now, exclamation mark. Ivy't doesn grow that fast. You would only have to cut it back at the top of the fence twice a year. Thank you being there, dun that. They don't need to be consulted. They're maybe more than a few battles ahead with these neighbours. Don't spend the energy now. I am wondering is there more to the story though? Maybe a disliking from a different issue. You see, been there done that, probably got to the nub of this. I think so. If not the root of the ivy. Well the there is certainly tension between these people. I mean, instant tension. Uh Lisa, now she's in America and she's interested in this problem. Wow. I hate to say it, but I think you first block their light and now want to kill their ivy plant. I think you need to be a good neighbor and buy them a rose bush and say that you're sorry you blocked their light. And certainly don't kill their IV plant. I like Lisa. She's bringing a rose bush round. Yeah. I mean, they will spit in your face, but uh there you go. Yeah, but I think, you know, we must start to try and, you know, entente cordial. Build bridges. Build bridges. They block light too. Dylan Dylan in Rains Park says if you want to maintain the moral high ground, then you must not escalate the situation by poisoning the plant. It's that simple. Send the neighbors a message telling them that you're going to prune anything that's on your side, as is your right, and that you'll return the trimmings to them. Ugh. Take that as a mild passive-aggressive win. No, don't return trimmings. Also, remind them that Ivy can damage walls and if it does any damage they will be liable for it. If that doesn't work, build a garden shed that is just under the planning limit. I mean people, what's going on here? Your solution to the problem is to build ahi sp. It's to create another problem . I don't understand. Why did this person write in ? Rachel in Ride says, why do these neighbours' problems always escalate? Communication skills are so very important and neither neighbour appears to have them. The initial request was aggressive, apparently, but the neighbour with this query doesn't appear to have explained about their need for privacy and wish to block out direct views into the other's home. As for killing off the ivy, it is against the law to kill off plants on neighboring properties. Plus, Ivy would need to be cut down to the stump before weed killer was applied for it to work. All you can do is keep cutting it back from where it impinges onto your property. These are your neighbours, not your enemies. I can't imagine this is an act of revenge. Maybe get out more and focus more on important things of life. Thank you, Rachel M. Ride. Rachel, finally, some sense. Finally. Finally. Somebody without the aggressive gene. Yeah. Oh and for the avoidance of doubt, Rachel is absolutely right. We bother to look into this. It is against the law to poison other people's plants. So do not do it. I'll thank you very much. If you do have a dilemma, what you could do though is you could email us wanging on at listen.co.uk. That is also where you send your am I weirds Q music. My weird . It's really built, hasn't it? I had hoped that it might, but I don't feel it from that performance, frankly. Today's MIWErd comes to us all the way from New Zealand, and it's from Kerence with a K. Hi Graham and Maria. My neighbours oh not neighbours again. My neighbours think I'm weird because I have a life-size cardboard cutout of a creepy man in the window . I stole him in a secret Santa battle, and as I live alone, I think he makes a fabulous security card. Am I weird? Oh my goodness. Now, Bernie, uh, we are saying Kerence or Kerence? What do you think? Kerence. I think Kerence. It's a lady, I think. Yeah. What did I say? Uh I can't remember. We weren't listening. I I don't that was hours ago. Yeah. We've got a visual we can see a picture apparently. Oh yeah, can we? I'm not looking, I'm not looking. What can you see, Maria? Um it is quite a creepy man. Um do I shall I should have? Let's have a look. That is is it me? Yeah, it could be. Oh it is me. Is it you? Apparently it's me. Are you kidding me? I mean I let me see again. Apparently that's me. That's from quite a long time ago. I think I'd go older there. Well, yes, that's because you've been in the window so long. Yes. It's very aging being in a window. I'm sun faded. No, I'm just saying it's very old because you haven't got a beard in there. Well, haven't I? No. No, I where's the beard? On my face, isn't it? Is there a beard? Maybe oh no, maybe there isn't a beard. But why is it New Zealand? Uh oh it might have been uh a book. You know, it was probably in a bookshop Okay. Why would they be in a secret centre? Well, because you can only uh you know you don't want to spend any money, so you just steal something and give something. Everything under a fiver. Okay. Now I think you're weird because that's not gonna keep any burglars out. The burglars will just go, oh, there's some giant homosexual in there. Let's break in. Let me have a look again. I don't know. I think if you live alone, you know it's a bit like people who drive al one and they put a blow-up doll in the passenger seat. It is very like that . It's exactly like that . I'm worried about her windows actually. I'm I'm I didn't think she was weird till I saw the picture, but having a a giant cut out of me in your window does seem weird because one, it's immediate obvious that you know if somebody recognises me, they know I don't live there. And uh and two, it won't scare anyone away. I don't think you're weird. I think it's kind of you know funny that you sent it to us um and it's Graham . Although I don't find myself laughing. Which is odd. I think that's a bit weird. Are we saying you is it weird or not weird? You think it's weird. I think it's not weird. I think it's weird. I think it's weird and uh pointless. That's what I think it is. Okay. Uh and But you do have a house in New Zealand. I'm spreading this rumour now you see. Oh yes, and I do live in it. Yeah. Yeah, and I when I get there I shave my beard off. And most of the time you spend in the window like that. Yeah. I just wear a suit looking out. Well, that creepy cut out brings us to the end of another edition of W anging On. Wanging On with Bray Maria is a platform media production. Thanks for listening or indeed watching. We'll be back next week. Till then. Goodbye.