Am I Weird: The Hobbit Poster Maker

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Another smart move gettingetting help from one of State Farm's nineteen thousand local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto Bundling Just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state I would suggest if you're forty two and have not gone to a stringmers party yet, you probably don't want to go to one. Please don't let there be a big win tonight. The cabven it's not gonna hold. Lying in bed, this to glasses. Was this letter sent to us There were the police I feel like there's been a mix up in the Royal Mail Helloo everyone. Wlcome to this edition of Wanging on with me, Gream Norton and Maria McCurlan. We get together once a week. we do listen to the world's problems. Yes, we do and give some average advice. We have quite a lot of problems of our own. We do, Maria No one listens to those. How are you getting on? Well, I keep ringing you and it just goes straight ans phone It's on silence. I keep missing calls. Actually, it is true. I never get calls. I mean, I get calls. I never hear them or see them. I don't answer anything unless it's got a picture of somebody. Oh yes. You know,s frombody I'm very visually stimulated. Oh it's a human calling me. I'll be sure to answer this one. Unless I recognize the number is what I'm saying, because I just get so many scammy Mc sccam faces. Do you? Not really no. I don't. Tell you what, When I moved house, I registered with you know the doctor, the NHS doctor. Yes, I know And Oh my God You know, youd say the NHS is overstretched, stop calling me. That would save a lot of time. Oh just visit them then. They're just dying to see you. They' constantly text to me about questionnaires and you know Put some poo in a box, you know don' calm down. Put some poo in a box. Have you ever done that? Yeah, ye ye. But no medically. No I didn't said it to a doctor, anything. I did. The comedy door was open there, very wide and you walked straight in. I've been doing quite a lot of DIY at home. Yes, that a euphemism? No It's not that I, don't want to have a man in to do things or a woman in to do things. It's just that it's sort of annoying to have people in your house. And now with Google and AI, how hard could it be to, you know, you tell us? Yeah. Quite hard Quite hard I'm with you. I would much prefer to kind of tackle something by myself rather than you know make the call or get the appointment or figure something out. But you know, I know that when I'm going to do it, it is so half arst. I mean, it's just such a botch job. in a way, I quite like because every time I then see that piece of replastering I've done, wow. Oh, that's ambitious. Yeah yeah. And I bet you do see it I cant is it that? I kind thought once I've painted over that, no one will no. Glaring, glaring, glaring, horrible thing. But also what I hate is for some reason workmen like to tell you everything. Oh yeah. And they like to say, Well, you see, it would be an easy job, but I've got to get under that bath and find the leak And you add little like encouraging moments, like, well, it's a good job. You've been doing your yoga And they have to. They have to make. And then she said to me. She had the blood to talk about yoga classes. But it's that if only people would just say I pay you, whatever you want me to pay you, but please don't tell me about it because otherwise I could do it myself I tell you what I have no interest in, the person who did this job originally. Oh, they love that person. How many times blame it? It was They were the worst people in the world. It's the's hairdressers. Who cut your hair before the council? It's that, isn't it? And then you have to say, you did But yes, I quite like doing the DIIY and now we've got Google to tell you exactly how to do it like I mentioned my boiler before. Wow Yeah, I'm quite. quite pleased that.. But also where I fall down is I know what I should do I should use a tape measure and a spirit level and all those. but really. Have you got those things in your house? Yes, but I sort of look at it and I go, I think my eye is good enough. can I know where to put this nail in. off course you don't. And then picture there. don't know that. But then I fix it It really makes me well It sort of humiliates me and it makes me laugh. L when if they're coming to redecorate a room And they have to take the pictures down. They discover Hellscape behind the pictures. How many holes did you need? I've also wed up bits of newspaper to make it nail bigger so it'll go up kind of half an inch. I've quite often done that thing where you drill into something. I thought I can do this, spirit level, right drill bit, excellent drill, hit something like you know, concrete or something that is the wrong drill bit. neighor or something neeighbor's skull. Sorry, Betty. Sorry you drill drilled and there's still that much left of the screw to go in and I just think I know, I'll just put some glue around that. That will hold that massive cabinet up. Yeah. Not a problem. I had a few things in my house like that. And you think, please don't let there be a big wind tonight. The cabinet's not gonna hold. Lying in bed, this into glasses to the little man, canan you come and fix my cabinet and buy me some new plates? Yes. a lot of ceramic glue, Greg very much. Well talking of DIY. Yeah, we are going to help some people in just a moment mas Yeah ye, Oh no, I understand. DIY dilemmas, I hope Hey, it's Kelly Rolan. You may not know this, but I have eczema. so I get how it can steal your time. But why let eczema take over when you can talk to your doctor about EBGlS? 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See terms at casino dot draft Kings dot com slash promos and july twenty second at eleven fifty nine PM Eastern time you hear that Sounds like breakfast is ready Because Quakers coming in hot with morning nutrition one hundred percent whole grain oats and a good source of fiber fuel the rhythm of your morning Kickstart your day It sounds absolutely delicious Fuel to start whatever's next. Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup twenty six Maria Mar, how do Wangers get these episodes as soon as they drop? Oh well, you see Grim, you can tap follow on Spotify or subscribe on YouTube or your podcast app of choice. Totally free. Plus on Spotify, you can tap the little bell icon and then you get notified when a new episode drops They really have thought of everything. What a world, Maria. That's every Monday, by the way.. Maria, the time is ri for some envelope tearing please grab one. Dear Graham and Maria. Okay, here's my question. I'm forty two and in a situationship with a twenty two year old When we're together, it's fireworks, but he blows hot and cold and is still figuring out which gender he actually wants I think he's also messing around with his female flatmate. He keeps it quiet, but I'm not even bothered. The thing is he keeps wanting to do more with me and has invited me to a local swinger's night. I'm gay, so the idea of being surrounded by a mixed gender free for all is not exactly my fantasy. But since I'm moving away soon, maybe it's my one shot to say Why not? and never have to look anyone in the eye again So podcast famam cast famam Am I just wasting my time here? or should I grab my car keys and throw them in the bowl? That is from Will in Yorkshire Will, look, you're forty two, he's twenty two. This is not going anywhere. You're moving away soon. I think for both of you the idea of discovering swingers possibly, is not a bad idea because you can do it together and keep each other company and laugh about it. And you'll probably never do that on your own. And by the sounds of it, neither will the twenty two year old. He's working out which gender he has. So for him, it's a process for you It's Curiosity, shall we say So I would say, yeah, I mean, do it. Wh why are you snarling? No, I'm just kind of think I don't know why he told us all this stuff about the twenty two year old of the situations shhip and d d. Be really what he wants to do is shouldould I go to a swingers party You know, and the answer is if you want to, do Well I don't care? Well I know, but but the thing is we're here to help people. But you can just help you. mean Will is at forty two. He's a grown man. Yeah. You know, I would suggest if you're forty two and have not gone to a swingers party yet, you probably don't want to go to one. Yeah. So don't But he's interested in the process. seeeeing his neighbors naked? I mean, I haven't been to a swingers's party, have you? No. neeither would I want to. Well, do what I mean, it's such a kind of hot idea, you know? Is it though? Well, you know what I mean? Like, you know, hope got orgy, blah, blah blah thing. But the reality is it's going to be people from quQue in Sainsbury's with no clothes on. There're only sitting one item I just it just The reality of it is going to be grim. You know, there's going to be shower curtains down on the sofa and you know you'll be going, go, that's their carpet while you're ye. I mean, look, You're forty two, you could go with a twenty two year old to keep him company if he's trying to figure out whether he wants to be gay or straight or what his interests are and where they lay. You could keep him company. I don't think there's going to be anything in it for you because it will generally be a straight swingers place unless you can get gay swing. because you can get anything. Yes. Well, I mean, the idea is they're swinging, isn't it? I mean Well, normally you swing with the gender that you like. orr do you swing? you mean I don't Yeah, I suppose if it's kind of a free for all, you can always, you know, put a hand in. but I don't know. I just feel like you don't sound like you're that keen willill. And I feel like if you're going to a swingers party, you should at least go in keen and come out feeling a bit nauseous. But going in, kind of thinking, really? As as Graham said, you should throw your hand in with some gusto, I think. Yeah. And also The guy is twenty two. I mean, he wants to go to a swgas party aged twenty two. That seems incredible. Well, I think he's trying to kind of You know, he's probably only recently discovered or maybe not no, but he he doesn't know where he wants to be in life. Well I think he's trying to spice up forty two old Oh, is he? Well, they go at it apparently, like, you know, it's very hot together. Well, I mean, forty two year old thinks it's a firework. twenty two may think it's a bit of a swim. A damp swim. A Catherine wheel that no longer spins. I would say definitely, I don't really know what your question is, but I would say definitely go Be you probably won't get the opportunity again. You're not going to go on your own will. So go with You you think you're allowed to go on your own?. I think you have to go with someone, don't you? No. Isn't that the idea? Otherwise there'd just be lots of straight men standing in the hall. yeah. Wanking over Tracy upstairs. She nearly finished. Tracy upstairs on video cam. Tade the bedroom's full, you'll have to stay in the hall. Okay. It's the overflow It's all going on in Yorkshire. I blame Wuthering Heights. Oh do I, Jacob L Ludy Ludy. He's got a lot to answer for. Shall we see what the Wangers say? I can only imagine I feel bad that we've even exposed the Wangers to this problem. Well, I don't think you and I are being helpful in any way, shape or form. No because there is no help. There is no help to be given. Go or don't go. Go or don't go. No one could care less The Wangers do.. Dear nearly swinger. L is short, go swing An is a swinger, isn't she? Go party, go live your best firework filled life. You're in your prime. hold nothing back. Oh she so is. Take it from someone who let those chances go by. She's found it later in life though. Oh no Anne is sitting in the car looking the pamppercrass thinking I should be in there.. Shall I ring the doorbell? Hello Neve says yourour partner has no idea who they are or what they want. Which makes sense given they're only twenty two. It sounds like you're interested in something happening, but down this road lies heartache. Oh, down every road lies heartache, doesn't it? R?. Calm on End it now on good terms, findind someone who wants the same things you do. I don't think that's the question, Neva. I know, I think Neva's kind of right. I think somehow Although he's saying you know, oh, I don't care. I go swing It's situ To even use the word situationship makes me think, o, you protest too much. Yeah. It's going nowhere by the way, is absolly're moving in a minute. So how can it go anywhere? So yes, I feel like N's not wrong. It's like he does want more from this relationship than it were provide Well, he's moving away, Is he going to take the twenty two year old with him? I don't think so. No. Do you care? No, no Emily says, I think the question you should be asking yourself is why you're happy to be involved with someone who is blowing hot and cold. Perhaps answer that question before blowing, I mean going to any club No. before going to any clubs or doing anything further with this person. If you've had no desire to swim before, then you will purely be doing this to satisfy this guy. He seems to be pretty good at keeping himself satisfied, so leave him to it. Emily's very sensible, isn't she? Yeah, I like Emily. That's good advice from Emily Neil in London. Oh, yes, o, he's in London. He'll know all about this While you write that you're cool about your situationship, I question if you actually are Neil, you're so insightful. I don't want to focus on the age gap, but can't help but do exactly that. He's twenty two and clearly still exploring his identity. Just don't confuse fireworks for a solid foundation As for this swinger' night, if you're genuinely curious, want a wild story for the road, then sure, go. Toss those keys in the bowl and chalk it up to a life experience. But if not, then skip it. you don't owe him that kind of exploration. I mean, that is the only reason to go really, isn't it for anecdotal value? Yeah and also because the kid wants him to drive Yes designated I don't I don't have gockkeys to throw in the bowl. I've got to bring this old lump I can put my bike chain in. The bike lock Now Susie from Farnham says, As we say, we regret the things we don't do far more than the things we do. I think when it comes to swinging parties, that is not hold true. Well Susie wouldn't agree. She says grab your car keys and throw them into the bowl with abandon. What have you got to lose? Given you'll be leaving soon, yes, and your situationship will be ending, yes Don't overthink it, just go and have fun. But also just to be serious for a moment Do make sure that any fun is had safely and with full consent. It's all going on in Farnham as well. Yeah. Do you think as's wing as parties they have consent forms at the door. Oh on the way in. On the way in, ye. I think anything goes, doesnn't it I think you probably have tobsive itself a waver, saying if you damage furniture, you've got to pay for it. I might go to a swiming's party and then fall down the stairs. Oh and then put a claim in. Oh yes. You slipped in some lube At least I think it was Lom. It was very busy that day. There was an overflow on the stairs. Well, please do let us know what you decide, but spare us the gory details and saidnd no photographs. Will sent his dilemma to Wanging on at Mr Nocka DuK, and you can too. In fact, that's the email address for any of your messages. and there's another dilemma in the offering up next. This episode is brought to you by hotels. comot Make your next trip work for you Hotels. com just rolled out a game changing feature called Save Your wayay. and it's as simple as it sounds. When you book a trip as a hotels. com member You decide how to use your savings. Choose to take the instant savings now or bank the savings as rewards for later. It's your call. Envision converting discounts on this week's dayay into rewards for a luxurious beach getaway next year. No complicated maths, no blackout dates, just you Choosing how to make your travels work harder for you. Only at hotels dot com Save Your Way is available to loyalty members in the US and UK on hotels with members prices. Other terms apply S sight for details ? Do you have another unoped envelope, but you do. Could you oe? I'd preempted you that H Gam and Ria, I have a lady who needs a few teeth taking out And when I did it the first time, I told her that there would be some pressure but no pain She makes noises of what some would call discomfort, but they are bordering on orgasmic I'm not sure if she's having too much fun. Is this letter sent to us? the police I feel like there's been a mix up in the Royal mail. O we're actually having too much fun, it's really off putting, and my nurse has to leave the room trying not to laugh. As a gay man, I'm not really sure of the female orgasmic sounds But I feel like I'm in a tennis match with Serena Williams at match point, grunting away while I twist and push The thing is, oh my God, this poor woman, I have twelve more teeth to remove. Is he a vet And I'm concerned that this woman may be enjoying the extractions a bit too much How do I approach this? Do I try to distract myself Pass her to a female colleague, I feel like I'm potentially losing my golden gay status. Oh, also I'm a dentist for context, not just a weirdo pulling teeth And that is from. Pete PS, Lve from Perth, Western Australia. Graham, I saw you live in Perth. goodood job. I love the pod and listen on the beach. M And That was the last time Dror Pete ever listened to the podcast I' was listen on my. I thought it would be fun. And then they ripped me apart. firstirst of all, doctor Oh here we go, doctor. F of all. P down the Snanertion. You've already taken a few teeth out and you've got to take twelve more. How many teeth do we have in our head twenty four? I don't know What Pete know? What is going on? It's a lot of teh. It's a lot of teeth. Yeah. I mean, she's going for dentures, presumably. Or implants. Oh yes, of course, modern world. Modern world implant. doctor Pete may not do that though. Oh, I'm sure he does. Yeahah. He's a gayer. He cars him out of wood. He does it on the beach. He's on the beach whittling her teeth There's a lot of money to be made in implants, frankly. and I think doctor Pete is doing that Maybe she is you know some people pleasure, pain, pain, pleasure, etcetera. I think it's kind of off putting for you to be making orgasmic sounds, yes. It's giving your nurse a bit of a laugh and to be fair, you, Dr. Pete Why don't you, when I go to the dentist? Oh yes. They give me headphones To listen to music. Oh, cllassic FM. Well no, Graham. Fk, hip hop. Rat. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dci. I like listening to Ducci on my. So why are they laughing at that? I do listen to Ducci. No I do I do. That's very aging, Maria. listening to duty. Why? None the kids do Why not? what's wrong with No idea? I Iish should takeaking it very serious. I know. Wait a minute. But that's that's me clinging on to my lost vistages of youth. It's the only thing I talk to young people about Yes, give her some headphones so that she can be singing along to that rather than making the orgasmic sounds. However, I do think that she probably likes the attention, Dr. Pete, and is making these sounds deliberately to T kind of put you off or to make you think that she's a hot bitch? I would just give her more anesthetic. Is that dangerous? I mean, I'm not a trained doctor byself. But when you're having teeth out, you don't have it's not like gas and air like you had in the olden days, in the Victorian days. I would say go back to those days, just knock her out. Wn't that be great? Yeah They can't that anymore. It's too down eruse to p somebody out so they just do loocalized areas. You have to have a doctor in tow now if you want even IV valium. Really? Yeah. What's gone wrong with the? I know It's all to pot, Graham. What are we saying to dor. Pete though? I mean, look, there'selve more teeth to go and's I would say it's a bright spot in your day. I would say take the money and run because you're doing a lot of extractions, which means you're also be doing some insertions into his bank account I his bank account and into her gums. It could be a lot worse. she could be crying. Yeah. It's obviously how she ye, she's responding to this in a certain way. I imagine it's involuntary because you know, you're saying, oh, she's doing for attention and wants to. I don't think it's that because You know, in that moment, you're just making whatever sounds you need to make to get you through the. When you say, Dr. Pete, that there's pressure but no pain because she's obviously all anesthetized around here. where're coming out. So maybe she's just going A M just to get ready Do you do that? I've never heard of female orgasm, but it's not like that. doctor Pete thinks it is And also the nurse is leaving the room. It must be unusual. It must be unusual. But also I feel like the nurse should be staying in the room because I feel the nurse should be operating the tape recorder. Then you can play it back to your patient say I'm not sure if you know this barrel, I'm calling a barrel for legal purposes. I'm not sure if you know this barrel, but these are the sounds you're making.ese are the sounds you're intending to make Yeah I mean, you don't want to embarrass Proar? I would. Okay.. So you want to make her laugh. I would just say, Pete, enjoy this. It's a bright sp in your day. you know and she's paying for. Be beinging a dentist is very boring anyway. Did our dentally challenged Wangers They The Wangers How long have you been thinking that out? Just a second. Kat says, Dar Dror Teeth. Do you think you could join her? Every time she groans, you could moan ecstatically and reply, Either you're stopped or you'll be up on harassment charge problem solved. Quite like that from Kat. Janna has been in touch with a voice note. Oh wow. She opened her mouth and new her Oh wow Hi Gran and Maria. It's Janna here and I'm an ex dentist from Down U. two words for our frustrated dentist with a grunting patient General anesthetic. knnock her out, whack them out. and your golden gayhood will remain intact and shine as it should Now, see, I think what Jan is suggesting is there are different standards in Australia. Yeah I think you're still allowed to get a big jumbo elephant injection and stick it into somebody's neck. So you can probably use kind of kangaroo ketamine to do teeth extraction in Australia. But I think that's a good idea. But you know, why sp all the fun, Dr. Teeth? No what's his? And also dor. Pete. calling him Dctor Teeth now. Yeah. Dror Pete Anyone else? anymoreline in says. How about having a radio on in the background or giving her headphones with Oh you said You said that orr music of her choice. Encouraging her to sing along. We don't want singing when you're taking teeth out with a rhythmic groan to Waterloo while you work. Just make sure you don't put Reavevele's Bllero on.. Good old fashioned but I'm trying to think why? Because it's the Dudgley Moore Berek movie. What was that called? D ten. ten know, but why not put that on? Because they're having sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay It's a long time ago, that film came out. Yeah. Don't put that Juteem on A some don she on Do that breathing That's my impression of D't she. This has made me cough. Dononna says you may want to speak with the patient privately before the next visit, either by phone or briefly before the appointment with an assistant present. And explain Explain that the Dononna is taking this seriously. Louder vocal reactions can be distracting in the treatment area and upsetting to other patients. Framing the conversation around maintaining a calm clinical environment helps keep the message neutral and professional. I think that's quite good advice. It's frightening people in you know they think you're being murdered. Oh yeah You're frightening people ye. I've got two more people that want to talk about Dr. Pete Can you We asked for people to get it done. We did. Gordon in South Woodford says, This has to be one of the most bizarre problems you've had to date. This man is presumably a professional dentist, so he must be used to the sounds of patients gruanting Tell him just to think about all the money he's going to be making from this woman and to leave the moaning to the patient. He might want to put a towel down, however. If he's going to be extracting twelve teeth, the woman will likely go into orbit. Sean in Dublin says, askk her out He doesn't want gummy, he doesn't want to go out with gummy. Does he imagine going out with gummy?. Should we go for a steak Ask her out to see if there's a spark. Maybe you'll discover your bi. Her gummy smooch might be just what you've always needed. Now I must go and floss. Really Wangers in the comments. Do you make orgasm sounds when you're in the dentist chair? I doubt it, but do let us know. And doctor Pete, thank you very much for getting in touch with that problem. Time is marching on though, Maria, and it's time for Am I Weird? Yes, it is. Who have we got this week? Today's Am I Weird comes courtesy of Harry the Hobbit. Yes In West Yorkshire I mean, really. J J just when you think you know you're demographic Heg G Aamm Mere, when I'm organising a meet upp with friends or a social event, I always make a little poster and znd it into the group chat so that people have all of the information, often theming each poster. Do you need me to go on? Please do. For example, every Halloween, our house becomes pumpkin Cottage And I like to do a film festival in our living room, so I make little movie posters in the style of a film festival and send it out to the people I've invited I see this more. I also do something called a hobbit barbecue. Nothing at the barbecue itself is themed around Lord of the Rings, but I do make a Lord of the Rings themed invite with AI versions of myself as a hobbit I think it's sweet and funny. My partner thinks it's very weird I think we're all thinking the same thing Astonishing this problem involves a partner of friends. You I'm just gonna say that I thought he was going to say my dog thinks I'm with or my gogfish thinks I'm with. I mean, look, it takes all sorts to make a world, Harry the Hobbit. And if it gives you pleasure, it's not hurting anyone, It's quite boring not to Harry as not. And also, you know what? I think people will appreciate, I mean, they might be slightly you know perplexed by it, but they will appreciate that he takes so much time and effort. You know because the rest of us kind of going, o, we're having a barbcue Saturday, Do you fancy it. He's putting together, you know these posters, these AI themed things. it's extraordinary and ye so it's kind of it's nice that he we go through all the effort. Yeah. But if your partner thinks it's weird, maybe listen to them. Would you like Harry the Hobbit to be your friend? Yes, I would. No, you wouldn't. I long to see a hobbit being barbecued. But all those little posters he's making, he's putting on group chats, and you know that everyone's going U Harry's just sent another message. Is, o how often can I ignore it before it becomes rude? Oh, no, I think you ignore all the messages, but you still go to the party because people obviously like the parties and you know, and the film nights. Halloween, pumpkinot cottage and everything. It a hop of barbecu. Yeah. look, this is your thing, Harry and myself and Maria are lazy and would never be cynical and cynical and unmoved by your passion. but equally, equally I see that you you really enjoy doing this. I love this. You're a professional chat show host. you can really tell because you're trying to spin this into something. not to hurt his feelings because yes, you know since when have you came? If somebody sent us this, we would roll our eyes ag go, sweet Jesus in heaven, off course I'm not going to that. These are Harry's friends. It's Harry's partner. He likes doing it And as you said, it doesn't hurt anyone. It doesn't hurt anyone. So let him get on with it. It's not weird. But I feel Harry that your time could you're very creative, obviously. Y. I feel your time could be spent better doing something that might bring you greater reward. But we don't know what he does fory He's a hobbit, professional hobbit Not so much work around these days No, that Lord of the Rings reboot didn't do so well. Very sad. Look, he says himself, you know he doesn't make people endure a Lord of the Rings themed barbecue. It's just the invite. So it's a tiny thing, really And maybe maybe Harry is a little short Or maybe he's a little hairy of foot comy and so he enjoys the idea of being a hobbit. Okay. So I'm going to say Harry, thank you for sending that letter. I don't think you're weird, but I think your time be better spent