Navigating The Industry And Family Fallout

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Shop now in stores at nordstrom. com or download the Nordstrom app Welcome to We're Talking In this episode, I sit down with Rose McGowan, star of Planet Terror, Charmed and Scream for a deeply personal conversation about growing up moving from Italy to Hollywood. and trying to find safety in a world that rarely offered it I have known of you And it's interesting because I thought I knew you Clearly Nothing what was actually happening And so I think this is a this is this is going to be an opportunity for me to indulge fully unpacking and understanding you because also I had no idea that so you were born Italy. So I grew up in u I thing called children of God Italian Bambinid Dios and in Italy and but at that time, you know, when childildren of God was labeled a cult afterwards. When they went into this That was not the word for it. There was no word for that, right? And it was just You know, the end of Vietnam It was that my father was this wild artist and his father's pretty high up in the Navy. and my father did everything he could not to go to war. So to America They were here in the UK, and they were part of children of God. The nascent, you know thing eventually grew to one hundred and thirty chapters worldwide. F what I understand, your father was considered in the earlier days to be a leader in Children of God So would you say that he was a part of he was hypnotized in essence I would say and my father was Very charismatic Very beautiful, Cck, wild unique thinker. cheheck check, check but also looked like a rock star. I love the ladies. Chuck, Juck Juck and his ideals were really I don't disagree with them I mean he was anti capitalism, cool. But more interestingly, like we would go out, like my earliest memories of him, we would go out in the Tuscan hillsides and we would go hunting for colors. Cors He was to me like was just his mind was so unique and it informed so much of how I see things. And yeah, like we would go up and we' like, oh Okay, now you have to find Five different shades of blue. Now you have to find seven different shades of red or orange, or what is the farthest you can see this light to that was what we would. So instead of going the perception of hunting as he was raised doing, maybe for with a gun and with an animal, something that dies. It was transmitted into something beautiful and unique. I see it. So for me, that's kind of like how my, you know it Yeah. And that was a big part of why he was so special. I think it really devastated him. that the whole thing collapsed kind of didn't know how to fit into regular society. So he was I would say my greatest love and greatest enemy for a long I can see that even in how you're speaking about it. I can even see how your voice changed ever so slightly in speaking about him. I could see now how he joined or why he would join because it was a place where he felt like he could fit in. He did this amazing painting after I was conceived It's HenryIII in this full regalia. and you could see how he did it. You can almost see like the hairs on the fur that he put in the jewels and gemstones in this beautiful garden. but he also put an orange beanie on his head at the palm palm and a big stin of loager. you know, just That was his pers perspective. So I can see what my mother was very much attracted to. because there was a duke. That was my father's kind of number two Okay, And it was his grounds and his palace, palazzo that we grew up in. So that this kind of um, veryery unique massive property, so didn't really kind of go outside too much. and I grew up reading full books and a lot of the books were from this seventeen hundreds, eighteen hundreds. So I had completely different names and information for things. And my first language was Italian. Italian. Yes. You performing, pacea, you were performing Was it you were you were made to perform? Is that correct So you were literally performing because you needed to generate a certain amount of money. to bring back to the What is he called? organization to the LLC not. To the company. To the company. I don't know. I wasn't you know, I know that we were in we were in Malta at some point, which is And I know we were deported from there I think they werere passing out little pamphlets and things and I think they just And the Maltese were like, that's a no for us. So it was you were going out and performing in Italy. So that was the beginning of your Performance career Technically Yes er But so this so you were literally, you remember having to, did you feel the pressure? of having to make I remember more that I remember noticing what other children were wearing and their clothes versus versus us, which was all kind of homemade. You could agree that this is not the atypical experience Quite Quite ye quite. One of the things actually when I met you, as you said. I really like guests that are very relatable and Well, this might not be might be at all. I think the feeling of the situations is highly relatable And then when I went out to greater society where it's kind of a more watered down version of an intense cult. Yes. an intense relationship dynamics an intense I saw the patterns of it. But J I just saw that the people weren't actively aware that they were engaging in these patterns. Yes, Yes Yes And you know my father was very funny, but Also sometimes not. He call himself God with a small G It was his way of staying humble I see it. see with the small G. Fair. God was small G. I would imagine though an immense Be hell was your father at this time? Gosh, probably would have been twenty six. Young young man Lots of responsibility Uh, and so he's he's God with small G But at a certain point though, he decides that this is not the right. This is this is not r weird, but What I'm curious about is where did you feel safe as a little girl No Nowhere. So there's no way that you feel safe by the usual flight. I've been asked that a lot quite like Do you feel safe now And I I u That was not a real word that in my life that and kind of even now that's not I've worked a lot on nervous system reset, things like that. But yeah, I don't think that was. I think I had moments, but I think I learned when kind of the rug got pulled out to Tust that moment. Exactly. And would you say that the only person that you felt you can trust was yourself So your father then takes you u, his second wife brother Well, actually my brother and I got sent to the US without them without them And I remember crying because they served us food. you know, I come from Italy and that food was like when you started that level, everything else Then now he got American nineteen eighties food Pro right out the microwave. It was shocking. My brother and I we were in a supermarket. We'd never been in a supermarket We'd never heard music coming in through speakers. so we would kind of hug our ears. And then we also saw bright orange cheese which we thought was the funniest thing in the world. who like like that And and then someone said, you're going to be living here now And we started crying. look at that Oh my gosh, but I can imagine though that you are this is an awakening of and it's probably a nightmare, that you're going through. This was your father's family. So then is that your first time learning English? No, I understood it. I knew English. I just refused to speak it I just was like lease me too please me. I don't know why. I don't know where I got that from, but I did. I think it was also just the people that were like You're so lucky we saved you. And I was like And I just was like, o, no. And then this kind of, I thought arrogance That really bothered me. Yes. Still bothers me. Yes. A misplaced arrogance Why had the name changed? And who was it? wasas it your family? No, no. It was an administrator at the military base school. Really? And I've kind of she act I remember what she said This lady. and I remember being very small and her leaning over and it was kind of like a scene in a movie. and her saying, and I remember It it's such a vile. I didn't understand what Mexicans were or that great country is or their history I I didn't know anything about that. but she said, you don't want to sound Mexican That's what it was. straight up And actually what a dramatic almost sliding doors moment. I think Rose as a soft name. I think Rose, which isn't actually my name, but is Sounds to me like a bit of a velvet fist with some spikes on it beautiful but thory It'll cut you. I think also I just I think I never even as a child perceived myself as a child. People would say, how old are you? And I would say seventy three thousand three hundred twelve. How old are you And then they' be like Scurry way. Right, right. But I just felt that old I just felt ancient. I felt like I was like part of time somehow. And I think partially why kind of live maybe a unique life or kept kind of that brain is because I didn't have that And kind groundwork from a very small child of the same kind of programming that others got. I got different programming. but it was so obvious I could reject it. Most of it. someome stock, but a lot I could push back on The other stuff was just I was old enough to be like Well, that's goofy justust can't Not that I'm contrarian, I'm not Honestly, I'm not that fluffed about that many things But I just didn't who would I be if I was, you know, and then later having to be all these different characters. That's when I got lost. But I did luckily had a strong sense of self I think. I don't know if that's lucky or unlucky donon't know I mean I think it's blessed to have a strong sense of self especially at that age because I think about my children what I want for them to be more than anything is I want them to be kind. independent thinkers That's what I want. And it sounds like that's precisely who you were kind independent thinker What was your thought on where you wanted to go at fourteen? Well Wishing you could be there live for the big game, soaking up the atmosphere in the crowd Too often, life gets busy, or the price hold you back Priceeline is here to help you make it happen With millions of deals on flights, hotels, and rental cars, you can go see the game live Don't just dream about the trip. book it with prriceline. Download the prriceline app or visit priceline. comot Actual prices may vary limited time offer E Met dejulio Lespera Tmina Operaco Timpo Ge Mundo Mesrespondiero al Gamadoinol unospoos Garana la Galaserroanosubllo Ganesto de Operaco T Boy, Stado Unidos, Marteieta deculio Portte Mundo in peacock very young age before I'd even seen a screen I knew I would somehow be on it. but not in a way that was like It was just like I know this So I should probably study for this anyytime an old film came on And I would study their body language and their posture and now they would and how almost their face is moved with the light And I would study and then I would put like a a sheet on myself and make it into a long evening gown. I'm not the only kid that's done this obviously, but I just knew I was training for destiny. So how do you go from a fourteen year old in Seattle You living with your father to Hollywood. I saw a flyer that someone had posted for like, you could be an extra in a movie For thirty five dollars a day. And I was like All right So I did that and I wound up funny being cast as a. I've never seen this movie. It does look absurd. but was some robot cyborg teachers, you see. Oh really? As they do Um, and, um I was in a gang. bllack hearts and I had a little drawn black heart on this little cherub face, this little round head And it was funny because you could just I have seen clips of it I had no dialogue, but they definitely made me a featured extra. I'm so like to being in this classroom scene, you just see my little head just kind of like was so d. So that was your first film. Yeah. and then I met this kid on it that was was like a child star and had been in me be one of my favorite vampire movies Near Dark and a movie called River's Edge. So how is it that you specifically get from or go from Seattle to is it LA? An Amtrak That's specifically how you did. You ask. But by yourself Yeah I don't remember the leaving I do remember feeling very badly. I told my little brother at that point had come to live with my dad and I and I felt very, very bad about having to leave him with my dad. at the stage my dad was in, but I also knew that I was either gonna to kill my dad with the chicken mallet or he would kill me. And I felt really bad leaving my brother, but I couldn't do it anymore And I also knew this was my shot out. All right, my way. Did you have any thing lined up No, because you're fourteen Buty it I did have the child actor on the set that I made friends with and his mother, Susan Miller, who They were kind of asconsced it. They were like from Old Hollywood in a way, like the history of them. And they took me in So I lived in this big house in an area called Hancock Park. They got me an audition and I audition and I got one line in a movie with Brendon Frasier and Pauly Shore called Incino Man. Innsino Man? Yes. And I remember beinging very upset that they wouldn't give a h it was a night shoe. it was nighttime and the extras were cold and they wouldn't give them hot coffee. I remember thinking the producers. and I remember just thinking like, It just felt like there's some And then I thought, oh, these people are not for me. These people are not cool. This is not my vibe. I love Brandon and that was cool. But No, and then I actually my mom moved to to Los Angeles. and we had a really beautiful, I think it was like six or seven months together and I actually did like a semester at Hollywood High which is where some very famous people went to school. And I did my one theater experience was there and I played Antigonany who are You know, I remember That was really powerful. and that was cool. really I really actually did well with those people. They were the first time I was around younger people because I'd also look like at fourteen in Seattle was Being photographed and had a boyfriend that was like thirty six. who had droppght me off a block away from my dad, boyfriend, didn't understand in later on I didn't I just didn't so didn't relate to people my age. I didn't know what you had a boyfriend Who's thirty six when you were fourteen Yeah, I did not understand. now I'm like, oh, now I understood with obviously with hindsight, like when he would take me to parties, people would be like and I I just thought maybe they thought I was ugly or freaky because that was how I interpreted when people would look at me weird. Was that at fourteen, was that your first boy from that was your first relationship And he would show me like, you know, French films with like older men and like, you know, the classic grooming crap would make it art Yes And now I'm like The wonder my dad would have killed you, and rightfully so That was how long was that relationship We have a relationship. I don't know. I mean, Six months? Six months. Okay. And then left Yeah. And then then you left I tell you though, I can see that your entire life was it was not fourteen year old's life whatsoever. So I didn't know where to Where do I fit? you know? and honestly, like there were times when I would walked down the street in some of these places I lived, you know, when I was younger, and I would look at families. and through windows likeike in a creeper way but in a way almost I I was supposed be on the holidays I would see like It just And of B u conffused comomforted and jealous at the same time because it was like this Really Like I know I've met some people that have been like, well, I can't compete with your life and I'm like, no, no. like a more stable Beautiful, consistent saafe That's exotic and beautiful to me to me is highly interesting. And he I felt really bad for a lot of these Hollywood kids, you know, like Their parents were very wealthy, working very hard, but would kind of slip a check from the accountant under the door and That that be it. That's it No. N intimacy just here's here's the these kids were like spoiled, obnoxious Rich Lonely, empty your mother She must have known she was going to leave Why was she leaving Where was she leaving to go? She went back to at that point, I think she went back to Washington State and to my youngest brother who You know, that was good I' get And u and I had fallen for someone and And maybe it was job too. I don't know that but moved. yeah. Okay. Soot. So we had actually a great time for that six or eight months. It was really I had a brilliant time with her. We had this really Re cute nineteen twenties little bungalow right dead in Hollywood. now, like I know like you wouldn't live in that area. It was like a sketchy area, but it was a real house, it was a really beautiful time. and I got to be with my mom. Yeah This is the first time that I can from knowing your story all the way through to this age. So you are you are fififteen This is the first time that you've had what would be considered to be A safe family environment, a safe home. Sfe home. What so this is So the fact that then your mother wants to leave M That's a Yeah, that must be terrible for you Yeah, that was not ideal, but I also U There was no place for me, like really, because my dad was as he was when I had left him and u then with my mom it would be with this there was no And I couldn't return to that world. I'd already been in this world. You know, I'd already been You know, so I'd already been around like some quite famous much Now I knew there like how famous these people were, like from legendary older actors, like from back in the day that would be at the Hancock Park House that I was staying at with them. So I was exposed to, you know a different level of kind of unique fabulousness. And again, I've been raised on these kind of classic films with this idea of classic Hollywood And that was kind of very much around me. Yes. But by the time I was fifteen and a half I'd gone to court to legally emancipate myself. I don't know what they call that in the UK, but essentially divorcing your parents so you can have autonomy. can have a bank account you could you know, I wasn't old enough to drive, but I did that. And I remember that I remember feeling I had gotten very few compliments in my life on my mind And I remember the judge saying you would make a fine lawyer. so like Oh Look. Look at that Nice confluent at fifteen, but you're emancipated now. so you are responsible for yourself at fifteen responsible for where you're going to live? What's the next next film for was a wild movie. It wass called The Doom Generation and honestly, it's super banana is crazy but I love it. Visually. It's just so cool. so cool so many artists working on it, like the crew and every level of department, really amazing There is u I'd also felt like really like kind of sexist too in a lot of ways. behind the scenes. like I was Some stuff was got like they laid me on top of it's not the actor's fault. They laid me on top of his body face to face for the chemistry thing and he had an erection, and that's not his fault. You just laid a girl on top of him And then Now say the lines for the camera. There was no scene in the movie that was that. but kind of floated out of my body. So I quickly realized I was like, okay, no one's going to protect you again And that was, you know, okay, you're on your own in a way, but I also still understood how to deal with And then before the movie came out O the cover of on the cover of interview M magazine a very famous magazine. O the cover of. So life really changes. just like that But even in that process, okay, help me understand this because I think I understand Rosa. Rose gets confused. Yes But I feel like this is the beginning this is this is Rose almost. because too me M if I'm wrong here Rosa would have walked away the moment But something went slightly awry on that set or didn't feel didn't feel is if It was in her eyes as right she would have said I'm done. I think something to do with the fact that I was homeless again And that when she asked me if I wanted to be, I said, well, how much money does it pay And it was ten thousand five hundred and I realized a very small amount of money. But with that, I could get a flat, I could get an apartment, I could live somewhere That was why Makes sense Makes sense Then all of a sudden, I'm sent around the world at film festivals. When it premiered at Sundance Film Festival, like you know like there was like a real like some people walked out, like one person vomited, the director was like, yes, which I kind of thought was punk and amazing. And other people really loved it. My father, I told him, donon't go see this movie when it played at the Seattle Film Festival. and u And again, I didn't understand at this point, I knew because I had a topless scene Um I think my character is that kind of like, sad in a bathtub and And then my dad I thought He got told him not to go but he did. And then he chased the director out and tried to beat him up in the alley, which now I'm like, well, fair play. I didn't he didn't tell me that The director, I told me But my dad didn't. And he did say like, well, congratulations on officially being a whore That And we didn't talk for about five years after that, yeah. I think he saw and understood more about the machine of Hollywood than I did But at the time I was like, No, these are cool people. this is good. And so I was like, you know, pass. And if you want to hear the full unfiltered stories from today's guest, you can check them out on the We need to talkalk page. Drop a like, leave a comment, and hit subscribe. See you next week