Ghosting Bridesmaids and Toxic Exes

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Join topcashback.co.uk today and start adding that extra bit of joy to your spending . Okay guys, on today's episode of Wednesdays we have two of my girlfriends from school who are also my bridesmaids, Liv and Melissant. We talk all about like the school days, talk a little bit about bridesmaids' dresses and some wedding plans. And please subscribe to our YouTube channel at Wednesday's Podcast. Enjoy guys. Love you. Today's really special. Two of my girlfriends from school, from home, my neighbors, my besties. Olivia Boyce and Melissa McCrawford are on the podcast today. This is a big deal because this is like friends, not IRL, because obviously Sophie's also my friend in real life. But like people that are outside of this media space vibe. It's we're very excited to be here. We went to school together. We then migrated five minutes away from each other. And now and then we will move right next to each other. Now it's unreal. Everyone should just live next to their friends, I think that's like the most important thing. Such a hack. Like we've been doing the nicest things recently as well. Like, what's like Friday? Then Saturday we did a little errand's day. Yeah. Sunday we went to a new bakery. Like we see each other a bit, but it's a bit actually. But it's like a different kind of friendship. I think like when you get older, usually you see your friends like every week or every two weeks, right? And so you have like massive things to catch up on and it's a different kind of catching up. But it feels like we're still at school. So guys, it's Olivia's Oh yeah, it's a big golden birthday this year. And I don't know if you know what that is, but do you want to explain? Basically, I saw it on TikTok like So it must be true. Of course. Maybe like six months ago, I'd say, and it was like, oh, a golden birthday is when you turn the age that you are on the day of your birthday and my birthday's the twenty ninth and I'm turning twenty nine this year and I feel quite smug about it 'cause I've told everyone literally I know. And I would say ninety five percent of people have missed theirs because likeike I was thinking about it. It was um it was my friends on the weekend and she was like, Oh, apparently this is a golden birthday. So not another And moved on . Not me. Talking about this. It was like we're talking about someone's wedding, she's like, back to my golden birthday that I'm having. Everyone make sure I'm really. Are we talking about a limo now? It's talking about it. I said nothing. Like, should we just go for it and get pink limo? I've also never been in a pink limo, so I think I was just trying to throw something in there. Also, are we are we not celebrating your thirtieth as insanely as we're celebrating this? No, more. Okay. Don't be ridiculous. We've got nice weddings this year, like a lot of friend weddings. The first one's coming up thick and vast. May. But we've got hands first. We've got two hands first. It's really soon. It's okay. It's also not live, it's okay. Oh my god, I was like No, I've already ruined it for once wear the he wear the hem mods the first time. You've told the bride. I just need your sister not to tell me where your hen is if you don't know because I shouldn't be trusted with it. I'm not really keeping things to see. Not doing that. Yeah that's I think Melissa's too like nonchalant in the whole thing. I think Melissa's actually bad I would just love to just tell her exactly what I'd like and then she books it. Because I know what I want. I don't want to be surprised. I don't really want Willie's. I don't really want a stripper. Genuinely, I do think like Melissa is one of the most nonchalant brides like I've ever seen. I was really into it, guys. I was so into it. Two weeks ago. I was loving it. And now I'm just over it. I'm like, oh you literally said earlier I'm just done with the planning. I'm done with it. Honestly, I'm s sick of it. I I got I didn't I was like I was got really ahead. I was like, this is so fun. You know why it's easy? Because some like you can DM people and talk to people on WhatsApp. When it goes to emails and things get formal, that's when things just switch off for me. But Mills and Liver also my bridesmaids. So exciting. That was another thing that was very um nonchalant. Well, I don't I find it awkward. Will you be my bridesmaid? But you didn't even say anything. You don't even ask. You just we were talking about something else. You were like on the group chat. You were like, You're offs bridesmaids and moved on. I was like, I really think I should clarify that. You were like before we like ourselves involved. Steve. I think I was like, I'm really hungover. I can't do women's right now. I'm too emotional. I said I need a break. Liv is the only one who fully cried when we got engaged. I'm also the clergy as a person. Fully cried. She's like I'm just really happy. I just walked in. It's like loads of Melissa and Toby's friends I don't know. And I was really hungry friends. I just walk in and I was like, I don't know why I c'ryingm. I'm really sorry. Really wasn't expecting you to cry. Not very much . Not very me at all, but I think it's because you know Toby so well, maybe. Yeah. I think that's what I was I think we said that walking into the pub. We were like because we've spent so much time with you guys together. It was one of the girls. He loved although he's a little bit although he doesn't always leave when we have girls night. Very scarce on girls' night. Oh he's I don't want to intrude and he goes and sits in his office. His office is at the top of the stairs. So you can just hear it the whole thing. He loves listening. And you can hear him just like giggling to himself sometimes. Also it's like when we come over and it's like, Oh guys, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to be here for girls night. We're like, we just invited ourselves. Not strictly girls night, but I know what he means. Like, if he had his guys over, I'd be like, I'm just gonna go chill in the bedroom for an hour. He's so allowed to join in. I know, but I don't think he thinks we mean it, even though we do. He's like, No, no, it's fine. And then he just like giggles to himself upstairs listening. It's quite nice that he just gets there's nothing like listen you know and it reminds me of like probably like when your parents had dinner parties and you like listen to them. Yeah, that's exactly and you can hear the plates like clanking downstairs. There's something comforting about it. I think there's something really nice about not having to respond, but then he can like talk to you later on. Like if he could pinpoint anything, does he ever bring it up with you like after like it's not really a boy thing, isn't it? No. I would do that. I'm just listening to what Ollie was doing and then I'd just like make notes on my Right, so because you chicks are my bridesmaids, we're just gonna tell let the Tinese in on the dresses. Well I mean we haven't even gone to a dress appointment yet. No, no, yeah. But we know where we're getting them from. It will be maids to measure. I've worn a dress in there before. Lives about to wear a dress. I am about to wear a dress. I literally bought it a week ago for a different wedding. Obviously I haven't just pre bought your bridesmaid dress on my own, just what I went. She just wanted to get the one she wanted. She just wanted to get out of there. You really wanted to just secure her position as wise me. So I could be nonchalant. No take backs. I'm here now. They have gorgeous dresses. They have so many as well. So many different colours. I'm almost like tempted to do the whole like wear any pastel colour. Really? Oh nice. But I'm not gonna do that. I think no. So someone else can do that, but I'm not gonna do that. Um I I think think we we did say that quite liked well I think we discussed it like white. I love I think it's I love a white bridesmaid dress with the but like anything just really light it always makes me think of like Kate Middleton Middle Like I just love I think it's so chic. I think it's such power because it's like I think like traditionally people don't want anyone at their wedding to wear white because they want the focus on them. Unless it's like my dress is gonna be so good. Everyone could wear white if they want it. I mean they're going to. Bridesmaids can wear white if they want it. That's not an invitation to go. Tonice's wedding. But she's like, I'm so confident in my dress that like my bridesmaids can be in white and it's not even gonna be a competition. It's like a real Yeah. That wasn't actually the thought the my thought behind it was that I didn't wanna regret a colour when I'm older. Right, so we've got a few little conversational topics that we can touch on. Were we in the cool group at school, the popular group at school? If you self-proclaim that, then I think you're not. I think we definitely thought we were. We we used We were in a really big we were huge. There wasn't like a hierarchy thing. I honestly remember thinking when I got there, I was like it's really nice how people just like interact with each other. There also wasn't like that much bitchiness from like years above that I my experience when we were jumping joined . Absolutely horrendous. There was no years above. That's because we knew one. Oh yeah, but they were like, oh my god, they're nice. Our year above was so nice.. I don't know It was the two years of our two were absolutely horrendous. I also remember being at prep school and like you'd get we had a few older years coming back into our house to like warn us about what to do and it's like if anyone wolf whistles at you, don't turn around because you'll be No, but these are girls. These were girls that were like older than us like warning you. I actually had heard about that before I moved down to Milfield. Stop because my dad went to Milfield and like not from his time, but he obviously would hear things like news and I knew about the dining hall walkway. Like it was infamous. That was like terrifying the whole day. So it was like a thousand people could sit in it and then just long aisle through the middle and everyone would walk with their tray and like the first team rugby team would always sit back back with their back left or back right. And you know they were all just staring at you. I think the only time I thought that the bitchiness that I had when I first went to Milford was when I I joined not having gone to prep school and for the first like two weeks everyone in prep school just wouldn't talk to anyone who was new. And then I just basically like annoyed everyone until they let me be their friend. I just like sat there like I'm joining in. Don't don't leave the other people doing it. And Livra was also the first person that I knew who Liv came to school with a thong and like all her underwear was thongs. And I was like, oh my gosh. This is so great. It was those. They were all lacey. I think they were like Victoria's Secret. It was it was those so p shop ones where they had the huge bow on the back. So if you were wearing leggings top shops on the thing, would you see it through especially if you wore like the jackwheel's leggings? Oh was that the point though? The bow would be. Yeah, the bow would come out. Oh wow the fact my mum let me walk down like that I can't quite understand I think she just gave up at that point she was like just be your third girl she was that she was like just do what you want I don't care that is what you're ready is third child. But we definitely used to like at school, did you guys have that thing? So we would wear like three quarter length kilts down to here and then it was back when the Jack Wills waistband pants were going on and people would pull the waistband over the top of the kilt. I just we wouldn't . We pulled it over because at prep school we wore corduroy trousers and it was always a black. We had we had skirts at senior school and they were like high waisted. By then Jack Wheels was like you were way too basically at Millfield senior school. If you would be seen to be wearing anything, Jack Wheels, Abercrombie, anything designer, like Supreme, anything, you always dressed you were way too try-hard. You dressed strictly stuffed from like urban outfitters. Yes, exactly. And it was scruffy. Like you were wearing like trackies that had been dumped down that had holes in it. Exactly. Like you were not wearing anything new or designing it. It was like really weird because you'd be shouted try-hard. People would shout tryhard. It was fucking savage. I think I wore far too much makeup. Oh my god. Really? Like yes, I used to go every break time and every lunchtime and top up my makeup, but because my skin was like I felt like it was worse from here down, so I only did it from the eyes down and then down at the forehead. Oh no. You know what I used to love? I used to love a hula bronzer. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I spent the entire of year nine wearing blue eyeliner underneath my eyes. Oh my god, we always used to do that. Do you remember the the turquoise blue in the inner corner? Do you remember we used to do that? Every day. I thought it looked quite cool, not on me because I've brown eyes. Don't why I thought that looked good on me. Why at nine am on a Monday do I have done up? Nine. Why do I have that on my phone? Liv has a speech impediment. But you shouldn't laugh at she says nine, but it's nine. I just put a G in it and I can't help it. And all of our friends have caught onto it. So now so obvious. But no one said it to me until like till I lived in nine ounce. No one said it to me. You just said it right there. I know I have to I like pause every time I say it. But no one's ever said it before and I I still can't do it. Even when I think about it, I can't get it correct most of the time. I don't know how to I don't get each other away with a long which is we don't pause in Liv says surely like Shirley? Like Shirley, like Shirley Temple. I tried to tell it to OJ Mills' boyfriend and he was like, you're saying the word Shirley, like the name and I was like , it sound like you'll, be ab Shle toirleys Shirley Temp le. And we were with my mum, and I've taken this out of Liv for this like for like a year or so. And we're in the car with my mum going to try on wedding dresses, and Liv says it once. My mum doesn't know this, and Liv goes, Yeah, but Shirley, it's like 10 minutes. So my mum goes, Shirley. And we were laughing so much and my mum was like, what's so funny? And I was like, she does this all the time and it's absolutely hilarious . So we started watching Vladimir. I didn't realise I'd actually already started it and switched off because on my TV it was like watch half an hour and I was like Miss Melissa Tatum that flips for being out of it. So I didn't realize So we I didn't realize that this was a thing. Basically, like you know how you have a profile on Netflix with your name? Mine is M Capitals , Miss Melissa Tatum. Apparently that's really formal and I'm like her bank card. And we deduced that she probably thought that she was filling out her bank details . It's also even weirder because you only have your profile and a kid's one. Like there's nothing else on there. Like why have you full name Tobas? It's really official, guys. I take it really seriously. So Vladimir. And then we got into Vladimir. First episode is so weird, but I pushed I thought after first step it got better. Yeah. I think it goes up and down per episode of like I find her really insufferable. And then I'm like, but I still want them to get together. I don't think that he's actually ever had like a proper conversation with her. It's all in her head. I think the problem with this programme I think none of the flirty. She's also saying that she now loves him. Yes. Which is just so unhinged. But I also think this is a reflection of actually what can go on in real life with real girls and maybe guys that get so in their head and create like that they are just obsessed with somebody. Why isn't he replied? Why isn't and I'm like Can I say I think the best bit that I like fully actually related to and I don't know if that's like I think this is like a common thing that we used to have when we were younger. You know, when she's texting and it's like the first time and she's like he's Oh yeah because she also like how do you like to read? And he and then he's like texting back and, he's texting back, and then he doesn't text back or something. And so she puts her phone away and she's in the bar. Yeah, and she gets like, it's not him. She's like, and gets straight. I remember being younger, and I would be texting a boy, and I'd be like, okay, I'm gonna take a break off like I've been in like a four-hour marathon and I'd like hear it go while I'm in the shower and then I just like get out of the shower to go reply like sopping. If they hadn't I'm putting the other side of the room because I don't care if they didn't reply, like whatever, it's fine. Then I I'd sit down and'd hear it reply. And it's then like my mum texting me. It's so upsetting. I also have that thing where there's like a second where your phone will like freeze before a call comes in. So now when my phone freezes, I still get that like rush of endorphins, like the call's coming in, but it's just my phone freezing, and also like my fiance upstairs. Also, guys, if anyone doesn't know what the fuck this is, this is the new Netflix show with Leo Wordle and I. Oh my god Ladies of London. I don't know you guys haven't watched it. We didn't but right is it like real housewives? Similar. But I actually think the cast is phenomenal. They've actually got real aristocratic vibes . And they brought Mark Francis in this season. Francis has really come into his own. I actually felt like he was not actually made the most of him in Chelsea. Like he was given this character. He is himself on this show. He is amazing. Anyway, there's this American girl on it who's married this English guy. And he she basically was like, I don't understand table manners, like what is like the etiquette of like being English? And he was like, Why don't you take an etiquette class? Like, if you're insecure about it, she was like, Okay . Took it, and Princess Diana's etiquette teacher taught her and she was like, right, this is amazing, I'm gonna make a business out of it. So now she teaches etiquette. And I just find it so interesting because now everyone on there is like, so how do I do this? Like, how do I eat a banana politely? And I'm just like, now I'm thinking, you know when someone brings you like your dinner in a restaurant but not everyone's given their plate? Is it rude to start? I thought you'd wait until everyone's served or you say do you mind if I start? I no no no I would wait to be invited to start. I would never say I think you wait and then they're peop the person's always like, Oh my gosh, don't wait, please start. It's then root people wait. But then I'm like, oh no, I don't mind. If it's then like ten minutes and there's something wrong with their food, then you start because your food would be ruined. If it's two minutes, your food's not gonna be ruined. And you I would never start until someone's like, please don't wait. Yeah, go ahead. Also, like you know when you're like if you little chip. This is where the limes get blood. Because if you take a chip, you're like, right, are we starting then? You're like, oh no, no, I was just taking a chip. No, I think a chip for and the I've initiated chip. You just can't have you can't have a like a lovely like steaming little pot of chips and not have one when it gets to the day. I agree. You can't pick up your knife and fork, maybe, but you can have a chip. But then other people take that as like, oh, we're starting. That's true. They do. And then they dive in. It depends, I guess, if like one person has not got their food and seven other people have got it. Then I think everyone would start because that person then feels awkward that seven people are waiting to eat for them. But if it's you and like two people and you're the dealing with your food you wouldn't start. Normally people will say like start. I would never see someone with other food and be like maybe if they I've had it before like quite often they'll bring the food and I've ordered something that's not vegetarian made a vegetarian. They'll bring it and it's got meat in it. And I'm like, oh I'm so sorry, they'll take it back. I know that's gonna take them like 10 minutes to fix. So I'm like, everyone, please, like that's different. Yeah. But I think if everyone's if the wait is still just bringing people's food. Is this when you have like three martinis and then you just don't have dinner? And I or I just eat the non-vegetarian food and pick the bacon out. And I'm like, it's okay guys, don't worry. With bet Fred, when you bet £10 , you get £50 in free bets. So wanna back your new striker to score the first goal? Your midfield maestro to get the assist. Wanna say they'll be a header? Wanna see their striker caught off side ? He was born offside. Wanna predict the final score? Or both teams to score? Wanna get involved for 90 minutes? Wanna nick it in extra time? Wanna bet 10 pounds and get 50 pound in free bets? Wanna bet? Bet Fred. New online customers only, five £10 free bets. Teas and C's and exclusion supplied 18 plus gamble aware.org Okay, right. Hey girls, love the pod so much. I'm currently living in New York for an internship. I'm 22 and live in a house with lots of other young international people. After my first month living here, a very attractive and very flirty French man moved in and we instantly hit it off. However, when I found out he had a long-distance girlfriend, I completely reined it in and knew it would never happen between us. After nearly six months of flirty banter, he went on holiday with his girlfriend, where she broke up with him. He returned and didn't tell me this until we were out drinking at some Patty's Day Bar crawl. We then came back to the house and the party continued. Since this night we have been together a few times. I'm very aware I am the rebound and I kind a don't mind as I have had such a massive crush on him since he he moved it. Do I carry on sleeping with him and have a fun last few months or would this be losing respect for myself as I'm clearly his rebound and my feelings for him are probably stronger than his are for me . I think you've done it. You have to know yourself, I think, to know if your feelings are gonna get stronger or not. I think there's like specific people who can be like, okay, I'm resigned to I don't know how you can do that. Switch them off. But also did she not say that she's leaving in a few months? So like if you've already done it. Well that's the thing, but she's for me, sleeping with them once is just the same as sleeping with them three times. You're already gonna be upset, so why not have two more months of fun and then be upset in two months time? I don't know. Probably not. Surely it grows more and more. Like you've got the stage of like you're just sleeping with someone, you really fancied them. But then that'll grow into like deeper feelings. And I'd be like, then you have to move away and you have to move away from the person that you really like. I think it was maybe it depends on their dynamic. Like are they just like flirtery, like flirtery? Flirty bantering the whole time or are they just like sleeping together or are they acting like they're in a relationship? Like what level are they at right now? Because I think if they act like they're in relationship and she knows in two months she's gonna be heartbroken, don't you? She's being really honest, she's like, I'm so clearly his rebound. When you've got the chase so much, right, and you're like, I just kind of need to do this now because I've been yearning for it. We love the yearn. We love the yearning. But then over the hump of the yearn, there's the mmm, do I feel like I respect myself now? And then you need to look at like how it's making you feel about yourself. That's probably the healthier part. He's a sexy French man. It's just so that is the thing. Like, that's where my moral dilemma comes in. I'm like, Oh in my view, you're already in love with this guy. How are you gonna resist the last few months and he's walking past you and you're just like hmm? No, he's going back to France it's just no point it's just not gonna also like how long she in New York for like go find some other people today make the most out of it apparently people in America are so forward as well like go to some bars and get the don't have ten minutes block at you.'ll probab Youly not going to live in New York as a single 22-year-old ever again. Go and have your fun. Go and meet some like fun men, fun friends, like do all that kind of stuff like you're not going to do it again. This is what dreams are made of, this scenario. Make the most of it . You're 22. Also, like when you move away, who like you're gonna be heartbroken and he's in front of you, you're gonna be heartbroken in a few months and you're back in the UK or wherever. So if I was you, get out to the dive bars. Yes. But carry on sleeping with a sexy friend man. If you want. Okay, have your cake and eat it too. Okay, ready? Next dilemma. Okay. Dilemma too. I need help because I've been ghosted by my bridesmaid. I'm getting married abroad later this year and asked my best girlfriends to be my bridesmaids last year. I did the whole gift boxes thing and they all said yes and seemed very excited to start planning the hen, etc . Since then one of the girls, my best friend since high school, has been very off. I've only seen her two times, despite me trying to arrange to see her regularly. I haven't seen her in five months, and she has cancelled at the last minute on multiple bridesmaids' events. Okay. Oops. Hmm. Once she cancelled on a bridesmaid dinner when we were already sitting in the restaurant. And more recently, we planned a whole dress day around her around her schedule, and she made up a random excuse the night before. I have asked me to meet up a few times recently just to check in and make sure she is okay, but no response. I even messaged her best friend, who is a guest at my wedding, and she said she's been completely normal with me. This has been so confusing during the most important time of my life. It's making me overthink so much. Have I done something? Does she have an issue with another bridesmaid or my fiance ? Good question. Oh. What do I do? Should she even be considered a bridesmaid wedding guest at this point ? I don't think so. I don't think so. She's definitely not a bridesmaid. Definitely not. I think that you just send her a message like, look, I don't know what's going on with you, but obviously something's happening. This isn't gonna work, and like I wanna leave you the space to figure that out. Like please don't feel the need to attend the wedding. I the thing I find really odd is that the bridesmaids not coming to anything, not engaging, but then she's obviously engaging enough to be like, oh do this day, do this day for the bridesmaid dress try on and then pulls out at the last minute. Like I don't understand that. There's something weird going on. There's something more going on. That's what I'm saying, there's definitely something else because if she was really upset with you, why would she even be like 'cause obviously this guy said, Did I do something wrong? She wouldn't be talking. Would she not just be like, I'm not involved myself in this conversation? So it's very odd. I'd give her the opportunity to say something though. Like I do think So like this is like ridiculous. You kind of need to send like a a little bit of like a breakup yeah text just to be like an open end I would actually say yeah like I'm actually not expecting for you to reply like clearly there's something going on with our friendship if you want to talk let me know but this is how I'm feeling. Just so insane. Like, can you imagine any one of us hosting quite a lot? People like you do hear these stories. No, surely not. There she goes. There it is. I just think it's such a weird thing to do to such a close friend. Like there's I don't even know what has to be. This is the issue. I think there really has to be a reason. No one just decides that 'cause if you're someone's bridesmaid, you've probably been friends with them for like maybe a decade. They've been yeah. Surely the other bridesmaids are friends with her as well. Like why can't one of them try and intervene so also the bride then doesn't have to get stressed out and get involved in it? Like if Mills goes to Jew, I'd knock on her door and be like, What are you doing? What's happening? You'd come through my door. I'd come through straight through. I think she should speak to that one of them and try and maybe get them to do it so that she doesn't have to be sucked into it. If they're not close and it's like a separate, like a school friend versus a home friend or whatever, I think she needs to send the text, is what I'd say. Totally agree. I think that ste'ps one and then that's step two. I don't think I would reach out to the other friend that's the best friend that's a guest at your wedding. No. Again, because it's then like there's too many people involved, and then people talk. Like if you keep this really small and internal and it just doesn't come and you can just be like, dunno, she just decided not to be my friend anymore, but that's fine. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. But it's like I know it's hard though, a friendship breakup's difficult and sometimes like you you know, you really love your friends and like if they decided not to be your friend anymore, that's like But I think at this point, like it's worse to be ghosted and not responded to than actually like I would just like to take the control back and be like, actually I'm separating th myself from this now. I'm not gonna be sad about it because I'm not being ignored. I think also she doesn't resolve it. Like and this bridesmaid just randomly doesn't come to her wedding day, or does come to her wedding day, she's gonna be thinking about it all day. That's it. And that you don't want to ruin this. be your friend anymore. Like everyone's got the right to do that. But she should say to you, like, look, I don't feel like this friendship's benefiting me for whatever reason. I don't want to be your bridesfield. I don't think it's appropriate for me to be there at your wedding, but like sending you like a lot of luck on the day and like I hope you're the best time. Th this bridesmaid should do that because right now it's like just it's rude. It's yeah. But I do think you're completely right actually it's probably best to rescind the invitation altogether because imagine they didn't show up like you left them that much grace and then they disappointed you. I think that would be the worst thing. I think you need to you've got enough to do on your wedding day. You don't need to have an extra bit of drama coming in. Yeah. Well done. Dilemma three. Let me read it. Hi girlies, I would love some dating advice. I was seeing this guy last year and massively fell for him. It was quite unexpected because I wasn't looking for a relationship, but we were a perfect match and he has a and he has amazing qualities, however, in capitals. There were lots of ups and downs during the relationship. His ex-girlfriend was still around, and on many occasions, he'd do something to betray my trust. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no. I hate this already. I hate this. But of course, because I really adored him, I gave him a second chance and even a third chance. Despite the opportunities I gave him, the final straw was pulled when he went when he went on a boys' holiday and slept with other girls. Oh well, that's it. Sorry, Kiko. Why is there even a dilemma to even read out Stop Liv stop put put the card away. Put it away. I stopped the relationship after that because I know I don't deserve to be treated like that. We love that. However , however. Recently he started to contact me again. No. He sent me a long emotional message expressing how he truly felt about me and how I didn't deserve any of that. It felt very genuine, but I am now skeptical whether to see this through again or whether he's back for the wrong reason. Please help. Liar, liar, pants of liar. This man. This is never gonna change. Can't be trusted. He's never, ever, ever gonna change. He's gonna cheat on you again. His sex with Alphabet's around. You give him a second chance, you give him a third chance. And then he went on holiday, slept with more people. Oh my god, I don't even how we even Why is this guy even in your but also all he's done is send a message? Like that's it. All he's done is say you didn't deserve that. Yeah, we know. Like you don't need to tell me that I don't deserve that 's really manipulative. Very manipulative. Just in context. We as a friendship group were very paranoid that all of us are narcissists. Not to be a narcissist, but it took over like an entire girls weekend. We couldn't say that. And then we were like, I actually can't even talk because I can't say anything about myself because I think I'm an narcissist . Going back to the dilemma. Yeah. He is a narcissist, I think. I'm not really hearing anything about like what's good about him. I think this whole message. I'm so confused as to why you've wasted your time. Even writing in this dilemma to be honest, you are so much better than this. Like don't even fucking consider it. This is mental that we're considering this. Yeah, a hundred percent. I just it says we were a perfect match, lots of ups and downs. I don't think you are then. I know that's really harsh, but someone who actually was your perfect match wouldn't treat you that way continuously. Yeah. You think you'll never get anything better. But absolutely you will. Get him out of your fucking life. Honestly. I agree, you can't have like the mo you need to take back the control and just block them. Like that's all that you can do in the situation. Absolutely cannot be forgiving this. You can't be speaking to them because he'll just worm his way back in a hundred percent. I really think breaks from dating is so good. Like I think you need to get into a situation where you feel like you're repulsed by men for a bit. Just like a good six months where like I don't want any one to touch me. Yeah. It's actually a really like amazing space to be in. And