Dilemmas on Dating and Bedroom Roleplay

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I love that they actually explain what products work and what's trending for the season. So now my basket is suddenly full of new beauty like the Beauty of Yosin, Hydro Body Sun Lotion SPF 50, the Prada Touch Blush, and the Living Proof Style Refresh Mist. Let's be honest, beauty hauls really start to add up, which is why I'm excited about this. You can currently earn up to 15% cash back at top cashback. How good is that? I need to stock up for summer anyway , and then I can earn money back to spend on even more beauty bits later. It's basically free beauty. So if you want to get paid to shop, head over to topcashback.co.uk/slash Wednesdays and start saving. That's topcashback.co.uk forward slash Wednesdays. This is a paid advertisement by BetterHelp. Summer is finally here, and honestly, I'm so excited. Pub Gardens, Cocktails in the Sun, and long evenings. It's my favourite time of year. 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See giftgaff.com forward slash refurbished . Coming up on today's episode we have Toby back. And please can I ask you one favor? Please subscribe to our YouTube channel at Wednesday's podcast. Enjoy the episode . Welcome back to another episode. I have gorgeous Tobes on with me again today. Thanks for having me. Always a pleasure making me. I know I'm on a professional these days. I know I'm getting into it now. Can we just have a quick moment of appreciation for my new shirt. We can. I'm a big shirt and vest guy this time of year. You know what? Not sure if you've noticed, but I've been doing that quite a lot recently. You've inspired me. Have I? Well, maybe. I don't know. I've been doing it. I don't know if it's actually because I've seen you wearing it or But it just makes you feel more put together and you put a shirt on. I know what you mean. But then it's because we're not big ironers in our house, so I steam. I steam You know you know when you go into your cupboard and like the shirt sleeves are like I know. And you're like, oh you just look at that and you're like it's gonna look crusty. I've not ironed one thing in the whole time much. Do you also think when you don't iron things that they get smaller? Shirts feel smaller. Do they? I don't know I feel like it's just not flat that's why. Yeah. So you're wearing this gorgeous new shirt? I've just been on s on a location shoot with about blank for last week and they very kindly gave me some bits. And this is one of the bits. I really like it. And I think it's unreal. It's really nice. Oh my god. We need to talk about the save the date that we almost sent that we didn't that weird AI thing. I had this amazing idea. She's really over I think expected what AI can do in this. My imagination was like what this was gonna be. Is it Johnny Depp? Johnny Deff and Amber Hear.ts I don't know what the name of the film is, but everyone would have seen that so it's a Chris Isaac Wicked Games song in the background and it's like them in a really cool vintage car driving down like a summer road, like a road in summer with like the sea the side. And she puts a cigarette in his mouth. And like lights it. And they're like sort of staring at each other. And it's just quite a bit. And it's like very romantic and cool. And Melissa was like, I wonder if we could just AI our faces onto them and then just have that short little video as ours save the date. So you send it as like a video file to everyone that's coming to the wedding. And the end product was positively terrifying. I wasted quite a lot of money on this app called Fiverr trying to get these different people to make this AI creation for me. And in my mind, this is going to be absolutely sensational. But you didn't tell me that you I was working away at my laptop and I it was early in the morning, it's probably like s eight in the morning and I was gonna go to the gym so I hadn't had a shower and so I had like bedhead. Oh yeah, and I had to film this. I just need to quickly film you like before I go, I just need you to for this AI guy. Can I just quickly film you and I'm gonna pretend to put a cigarette in your mouth? So she got a pen off my desk and like put it in my mouth and like maybe wear her sunglasses. And I had like this massive tuft of hair coming up, so in the video I've got like a fucking cockroach. At least it's accurate to what you actually look like. That is true. Anyway, so our actual save the dates are now done. So that's exciting. That is very exciting. It's coming up to a year 'til we get married. That's crazy. And that'll whip around fast. It will. Have you done anything towards the wedding planning? I have done nothing towards the wedding planning. Before we had done anything for our wedding, the first thing to was like, so my stack. Think I'm gonna go skiing, and I was like, we do we 've been engaged a week and we don't even know when we're getting married. I also remember the the day we got engaged, we then went home afterwards and we'd been celebrating with friends, and we went home, and my new ski outfit had just arrived. And it arrived the day before I was going to propose. And I all I was thinking about was I can't wait to try my new ski outfit. So Melissa was like getting ready for bed. And I came in full salop ets, new jacket, helmets. Looked good though. It did look good. Can we talk about the ground rules for the sag? My one rule from Melissa is don't break your leg. Don't break anything. Don't break anything. And what's my other rule? Um have a good time. No . Minimal fun is allowed no joking. But you are not allowed to do what ? A 360. Oh yeah, sorry, no three sixties. No jumps. No jumps, no three sixties, and You have to promise me. I'm not joking. No, I'm not going to, I saw my life. So yeah, what are the ground rules for your hen? I don't want any strep. No cock spaghetti. I don't think that's a thing. Is it? No, like pet cock's pasta, isn't that a thing? Is it? Yeah. No, the whole like the whole Willy thing I'm not overly fussed about. I've said I don't really want anything pink. I don't really want any hats. You were big on the cowboy hats for like your sister's hats. Sure, but that's when they were like new and they were like so fun, but now like I feel like I would like something different. Tiara . No, I just want I just would like a veil and then that's that's enough, I think. Nice. And then glitzy, like everyone just wear like a nice glitzy sort of. Yeah, lovely fun dress or something. And location I think still thinking. I would love to do Paris, but it depends on how much it costs. Yeah, true. Okay, so I've got a hypothetical wedding situation for you. Yeah. Okay, it's the day of our wedding. Mm-hmm. Best day of your life. Best day ever. Justin Bieber DMs you saying he's doing a one-night only intimate gig in London tonight and he wants you to film it. What what would you do ? Shit. You'd lose your wife. Future wife. I'm in the fortunate position that I have a business partner who is also an usher. But I'd be willing to sacrifice him. But then you don't get to go meet him. I know, but at least the company's done it. I think that's the best compromise they can come up to. I do agree. If it wasn't our wedding and it was any one else's wedding, we definitely see you. What if we convince Justin to play at our wedding? That would be really good. That would be nuts. And then you could film it for free and I'd be like fine. Because he's obviously at our wedding. That would be sorry. If I could get Justin Bieber. To perform at our wedding. I don't think that any it would just be the it would I I I'd would want to be on stage having one less lonely girl song to me. Oh yeah, I would let you have that to be fair. You're a much bigger fan than I am. It would be so good. It would be unreal. Okay, so talking about wedding stuff. I went to my first wedding edition event last night, which was really exciting, which is such a like lovely magazine. So there was this fantastic lady who was like a psychologist and she gave some fantastic stats, which basically just made everyone purchase parachute. And she What was that? So it was I asked her to send it to me, but she hasn't, so that's really annoying. But I chat TPT on the way here like roughly what she was talking about. So she was like around two hundred to three hundred million sperm race towards one egg. Only one sperm fertilizes it. If a different sperm had won, a completely different person would exist. The timing had to be exact. Even minutes could change the outcome. And apparently, like the stats of us existing is like 400 trillion or something wild. So us being on this planet is a miracle. So every one of you is a miracle. And then it basically was like, you will deserve juice. And they had 20% off. So she has absolutely done you. I could have also pulled the wool wool over your eyes and told you that they were gifted. Oh my god, I didn't know it was gifted. Because he was like, oh my god, that's incredible. They've gived because they give they gave us lots of gorgeous like flow ers in the bags that were Manolo. And then obviously there was one bag with a pair of shoes. And you were like, Wow, what what this is incredible. And I was like, mm-hmm. He was like, you bought them in you . It really upsets you, doesn't it? It does. You know what really upset me. Angry folding cardboard in the evenings. You don't last okay. Last week I was out, it was a Wednesday night, and our bins have to go on a Wednesday night to be picked up on a Thursday morning. Toby didn't effing put the bins out. So then we have loads of rubbish in our house that fucking stinks, obviously. But it was disgusting, it had like bin juice all over it because it been sat outside and obviously it rained and then like foxes go through it. I heard a horrible, horrible story. There's a gu apparently this guy on TikTok. Is it gonna make me upset? Is it appropriate for Wednesdays, girlies? I don't know. Maybe we this guy's basically trying to get Instagram followings up. Like he's trying to recreate jackass and one of his stunts is drinking people's bin juice. He's been going around people . It's disgusting. That is mental. Right. He'll die. That's so stupid. I don't know. But it really made me up to it. Is it going viral? I don't know. They were just talking about it. There's this guy who's like recreating jackass stunts. Okay, I've got a good would you rather for you? Would you rather my favourite US I actually nearly started a podcast back in the day you did called Would You Rather Pod with two of my friends and we were going to talk about Would You Rathers but I realised that don't know if it would have gone very far. It might have done it. Well you never know . Anyway, Would You Rather drink a thimble of bin juice? Oof, okay. A thimble, baby, is like that. A thimble is literally. Sharp. Different to a thimble, yeah. Or you constantly fart in public. You can't control your bowels and you just for like a year. And I just have to drink a shot of bin juice. Do you rather drink a shot shot of bin juice? Do I get ill you're rat Bin juice. Bins so much. Yeah, because you don't put them out, I know. So fucking annoying. Bin ju a shot of bin juice or you you just have Do my fat smell? Yeah. They're like really hot and horrible. Does other people know that it's me or can I get away with blaming it on the other? You can get away with some of them, but often it's like common denominator is people bitch about it. Yeah. Lisa has a bow issue. Yeah. Oh . You know what? I could stick to just being around like my girls and just explain to them. That it was either that or bin juice. Yeah. I'd have to go with the farting. The bin juice would make me really unwell and I'd probably be farting and shitting anyway. I don't think you'd recover, you'd get a parasite, you'd probably get E. coli . Yeah, Ben juice is vile. Okay, we've got a game for us to play. So this game is called Husin and Wife Telepathy. Nice. I'm gonna read out a question. And on three, we're both gonna answer at the same time, like what we think the answer is. Okay. If we match, then obviouslyll see we' withre dre Dam team. If we don't we,'ve got some work to do before the wedding or some work to do before my like hen, because these are the sort of things that are gonna come up in the Mr. and Misses. Okay, ready? I'm quite excited for Mr. and Mrs. I don't think you get it. No Oh you have asked I'm not gonna get my God I've Right guys, we're all gonna sit down and do Mr and Mrs. Oh, I think that boys miss out on those fun things. I would love it, but I don't think my friends would No, they wouldn't . Okay. What is Melissa's most toxic trait? Hmm. I definitely have a few, but I don't I can't nothing springing to mind. Okay, I got one, I got one. Are you gonna read that? No, no, no, no, no. Okay, right. Three , two , one . Spik y. Sometimes you can be a little spiky with people. I can be quite spiky. Quite spiky. You've got a snappy with like a waiter or something. But only if there's like something that's really wrong. And I'll never say something rude. I'll just say something polite in a snappy way if something's gone wrong because I'm so visibly annoyed. I think it's probably a good thing 'cause I'm the opposite way. 'Cause you're so people pleasy. Whereas I'll be like, to be honest, that's n no. And that like freaks you out so much. But I'm like, you have to be honest about it. I could have like a two. Toby will have a raw ticket and eat it . What's Toby's comfort fo od? Okay . One, two, three. Nando's? Yeah. Like if I'm not home, you'll order that. I'll order a Nando's or a pad thai. What is Toby's Roman Empire? Three, two, one. Justin Bieber . What is Melissa's drunk food order? I don't. Yeah, you We literally don't. Mine do you know what mine is though? You might not get this, but wing stop . So good. Like blue cheese. We're a non-toxic household, we're not allowed stuff like that. So he takes it about the one time I've been to the pub somewhere and I'd had a few drinks and I'd ordered a five guys and then just put loads of napkins out and basically just like went headfirst into it. And then you came home and I was like covered in five guys. That sounds weird. I was covered in like burger sauce and like ketchup and it was just everywhere. And you and like Mills were looking at me and I felt so like horrible. But yeah, that's I don't know what your drunk food order would be, but mine would be a wink. actually having this conversation with Mills and Liv the other day that back in the day when I would like go clubbing, I would always go to that Q V place. It was open till it was twenty four hours. Twenty four hours and you could get breakfast twenty-four hours, you could get like spag bowl twenty-four hours, it was like anything and everything. So after every night out it was almost all the duck and waffle. I feel like that was quite a vibe that would stay open quite late and you'd get like Chinese Most people would be saying like kebab kid or something like that. Not not for me. Okay, right. What is the compliment Toby Fish is for? Three, two, one, hairline. Nice. You didn't answer. Yeah, but I didn't know what you're gonna say. But that's the whole point. I know . Who is Toby's hall pass ? Okay, three, two, one young Milakunas. Oh, that changes from the other day. I thought there was Spanner in the word. Why? We're meant to be trying to get married and be on the same wavelength. Young Milakunas, yeah. That was the one. That's what you said the other day. Who's your hall pass? In the moment it would be Chad. Young Chad. Ian Summerholder, who you nearly went on holiday with. Oh my god, so me and Sophie got invited to go on holiday with Ian Summerholder and I've forgotten his other name. But both of the vampires and vampire diaries . It is obviously for a brand trip, but I was like, it's actually too weird that I I've declared that I love them both. And I've done it That was like the earliest memories when Melissa and I first got together she did a QA and she was like who's my one of the questions was like who's your like celebrity crush? And you said Ian Summerholder. And I had to like Google who he was. And I didn't think he was that good looking. He's aged fantastically. If you watch me Vampir, and then all of a sudden she's invited on a PR holiday with him. It's cause we haven't stopped yapping on about how gorgeous they are for the past four years. Well yeah. Okay, right. What is your dream honeymoon destination? Three, two, one, safari. Nice. What is Melissa's favourite film? Three, two , one . You know this! You know this! I know, I know. Um Oh my god, I know it. I watch it all the time. Just go with it. Yes, no. Yes, to be fair, I was thinking just go with it or it's complicated. Oh yeah, it's complicated. That's it. They're like I guess they're actually they're just to be fair, they're two run they're exactly equal, my favourite films. I watch them both at least three times a year. I really love it. I don't know if I have a you have that that time one, that about time one that's the first film we watched together, wasn' About time is unreal. That was a lovely game. I don't know if we passed. I think we've got a couple there that were that were good. Okay, let's do some dilemmas. This episode is brought to you by Top Cash Back and LookFantastic, who are working in partnership to show you how to literally get money back on all your beauty purchases. Recently I've been seeing loads of videos on social media from Look Fantastic team talking through the best beauty products for summer this year and honestly I've been completely influenced because they always recommend the products that are genuinely worth it. I love that they actually explain what products work and what's trending for the season. So now my basket is suddenly full of new beauty like the Beauty of Yosin, Hydro Body Sun Lotion SPF 50, the Prada Touch Blush and the Living Proof Style Refresh mist. Let's be honest, beauty hauls really start to add up, which is why I'm excited about this. You can currently earn up to 15% cash back at top cash back. How good is that? I need to stock up for summer anyway, and then I can earn money back to spend on even more beauty bits later. It's basically free beauty. So if you want to get paid to shop head over to topcashback.co.uk slash Wednesdays and start saving. That's top cashback. co.uk forward slash Wednesda ys. Family days out can be expensive, but my NatWare's current account helped us get here. I can track my spending and save my spare change with roundups, helping me manage my money, which means we can enjoy days out. Open a NatWest Current Account today and enjoy those special days out. Search NatWest Current Accounts. NatWest. Tomorrow begins today. Account eligibility and app criteria apply. Monthly account fees may apply. Eligible current and savings account required for roundups. At Nat West you are backed by the current account switch guarantee. Thank you all so much for being here at our wedding. I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with a woman of my dreams. Speaking of dreams, have you ever dreamed of tasting all the colours of the rainbow? Because that is exactly what you get with Skittles. Five bold fruit flavours in every pack. Lemon, orange, lime, strawberry and blackcurrant. They're chewy, they're colourful, they're perfect. Just like my wife. So thank you for coming and remember to buy Skittles. Shamelessly promote the rainbow, taste the rainbow! Dilemma 1. Here we go. Me and my best friend of nearly six years had a massive falling out about two months ago. Without going into all the gory details, it was one of those slow burn fallouts where loads of little things built up and then one big argument finished off. We both agreed the friendship is done. And honestly, I've made peace with that. Here's the issue. Over the years, I've lent her so many clothes. We're talking about my favourite Reformation leather jacket, two dresses I wore to I've been slowly clocking all these things and missing from my wardrobe. Stealing from you. I messaged her politely a few weeks ago if I could get come and pick up everything. She left me on red. I tried again last week, slightly less politely, and then she replied, I'll sort it when I have time. This was nine days ago. Nothing since. Part of me wants to just turn up at her flat and demand my stuff back. Another part of me thinks I should let it go. Also, that leather jacket cost me £400 and I want it back. Totally. And the designer handbag that your mum gave you. That's sentimental. Do I keep chasing and escalating things or do I accept that I've lost my best friend and half my wardrobe and one go, no, get your shit back. I couldn't let that go. Do not under any circumstances let this girl. She's stolen from you. I would turn up at her house and demand it back. I would do the same. She's not gonna not live it to if you turn up at the house. I shit like that. I would also come with someone else if she feels embarrassed. Like, come with your mum. Things going missing. Do you ever get it when you r you'll wake up in the middle of the night and think, I haven't seen that ja cket in a while. And then you all you can think about is that . And you don't notice it for so long and then all of a sudden you're like, fuck, I haven't seen that jacket. I know. That's what it would have felt like. And that would have really wound me up. I would have been stolen from, thank God. I once I feel so guilty about this when I was at school this guy had the diesel only the brave aftershave and I used to be obsessed with the smell of it and I stole it. And the guilt. The guilt was too much. Put it back. Three days later. But I used quite a lot of it. Frickin'. That is so naughty. Did he realise it had gone? Uh I think you did, yeah. How old were you? Probably like eleven, twelve. Oh well . I think we've all had our fair share, we've all tried to steal and realised that we're not criminals and it doesn't work. Yeah. I was much younger, I was like, I was at this really sweet old girl's school and it's show and tell, this girl in my class showed the wax figures that went on the top of her parents' wedding cake. I thought I I want those. They're fantastic. So come halfway through the following lesson, I went to the Lou and I took them out of her bag and I put them in my bag and then I went back to class and I had this horrible feeling which was obviously guilt but back then I didn't know what it was. It was horrendous over my whole body. Oh man. I miss I need to go to the Lou again and I ran and put them straight back in their bag. For you. Yeah. That's the way to learn. I gave it a good go. I remember my mum when I was younger. I I actually didn't mean to steal them, but I walked out of John Lewis with a pair of football socks that I really wanted. And I had them in my hand and we'd got h halfway down theigh street and mum was like, Where'd you get those? I was like, From the shop. She was like, You didn't pay for those and I didn't pay for them. You've stolen them. And she marched me back to the shop and made me apologise to the shopkeeper. Oh my god, you know you could have actually got in trouble with that. And um she made me like go up to the lady on that uh floor, like the sports section of John Lewis and apologize for stealing them and she said, You never know if you steal you, every time there's a knock on the door, you'll always think it might be the police. Mm-hmm. And that fucking put the fear of God. Well, it didn't, 'cause you stole the diesel bottle when you were eleven. A couple of years later, you you have a brush. Wasn't from a shop. No different implications. But yeah, you're right. But it did anyway. Yeah, I feel like my advice remains the same. Same. I agree with you on this one. Take your mum to and go to her flat. I think taking the mum makes you realise Also, like you can't get away with stuff. There's still so much like gravitas that parents still have. Like even uh us as like almost 30-year-olds,. like Like I don't know, you you could revert back to it being like someone that's older that you respect. 100%. Okay, dilemma two. Hi Wednesdays, anonymous listener here. I'm a guy in my late 20s living in London. I'd really appreciate a female perspective on dating and meeting people in real life. I'm single and I would like to start dating but I'm conscious of not wanting to come across as creepy, intrusive or like I'm bothering someone. A lot of obvious places where you might meet someone like pubs, coffee shops and the gym, even out and about in London feel difficult to navigate. In pubs girls are usually in groups with other guys and it's hard to know whether it's okay to approach. At the gym, I assume most women don't want to be approached while they're working out. Coffee shops feel a bit less intimidating, but even then I'm not sure what you'd actually say without it feeling forced. So my question is where is it actually okay to try and meet girls? And more importantly, how can I approach someone in a way that feels respectful and not creepy? What would be an acceptable opening line or way to start a conversation. And are there any clear signs that someone is open to being approached versus wanting to be left alone? Would love your honest advice. It's so difficult because I know like you just don't know if someone's got a girlfriend or not, and then getting rejected is like so annoying. I think that you always have to like go through the route of like saving phase by being like, hey, um, are you single by any chance a friend of mine's asking? And like make it out then it's like not for you. Have you seen the thing when people do that? And then you run back and you're like on the friend. And then you wave. It's quite funny. That is good. That would be a good way to do it. And then you could be like, ah, okay. Well sh shall I buy you a drink anyway or something and like just make it not that deep. There's a fine line between being intrusive. Like for example, if a girl's working out, you don't really want to be bothered, I imagine. Same with a guy. It's so difficult though, because you might want to be bothered. It's just so hard because you can't read the thing. You don't want to you're not gonna start properly having an in-depth conversation, but you might just go up to go and be like, Hey, I've seen you a few times in the gym and I I'd kick myself if I hadn't said like Are you single? Would you like to go for a drink? And then they they can so easily then lie and say, Oh I'm sorry, I've got a boyfriend if they're not keen. Because you'll know, you'll pick up on the vibe straight away. And yeah, it sucks, but like it's a nice way of saving face. If you don't ask, you don't get