Final Reflections on God's Sovereignty

Estequatro de Julio and Los, Auraacquarineinco Porciento and Electro domestico selectos. Aemas, Auroenta Dolares and ununa Parriia Ga selecta Ch rooyal performance series, Aura Dcientos Doment Medolares. Nestrajor Election Eaki and Los. Los Notrosuamos two Auras Balitoso Aacato existenia selectionariaolo Garardies and Los d com Visita to Low', Mastercano and Arnold Industrial Way in and Concord But then being on my deathbed, there was the surrender of Okay, Lord, like I trust that you'll heal me, I trust in your nature, but I also submit to your will And I'm okay if you call me home That's okay because as Christians We don't lose powerful story for you today about healing and how God healed Corlely Spell of Cancer. We're going to wrestle with all the questions surrounding that. Things like, why doesn't God heal everyone? Should Christians pray for healing Here on earth, does God still do miracles? Does He still heal What if you pray for healing and God says not yet Ultimately, we talk about trusting God with however He chooses to answer those questions in an individual person's life. And all of this and more is brought to you today by We Heart Nutrition, which is a Christian owned, pro life, game changing supplement company. You can go to Weheartnutrition dot com today and use the code Elisa for twenty percent off your first order For those of you who have followed the podcast for a while, you know that one of the sponsors we've partnered with the longest is Good Ranchers. Well, Corlely Spell, my guest today, is one half of the couple that founded Good Ranchers. And today Corie's going to share her story about being diagnosed with cancer while pregnant being advised by her doctors to abort the child, but of course, Corally and Ben are pro life and that was not an option. And then ultimately being diagnosed again years later and being on her deathbed praying and trusting the Lord That if he healed her on this side of heaven, praise God. But if he called her home, she was good with that as well. And ultimately, this is a story of trust And in Corley's case, her story culminates with healing. Now, I want to say that I've known many wonderful faith filled Christian people who have walked through cancer, One of which is my dad. Some have recovered, others have not, and the Lord called them home Some went the traditional medicine route, others went the alternative route. And I just want to say that today's episode is one person story. It is not meant to be a formula for anybody to follow. And one of the things I learned when walking through my dad's cancer is that cancer is like an umbrella term that encompasses a whole lot of different things underneath that umbrella. There's variables, there's Everybody's different. The cancer journeyys, the diagnosis, prognosis, everything is different. And so Corlely, I love that she makes the point that anyone who's watching who's received a cancer diagnosis, it's really important you do your own research. You work with the medical professionals in your life and ultimately do what's best for you. But the reason that I wanted to share this story with you is because it's such an encouraging story of trust of faith. So one quick disclaimer before I get to cororly over here is that I mentioned a quote at some point in the podcast from Charles Spurgeon about him praying to the Lord when he was in a particularly difficult battle with physical pain. And after the episode, it occurred to me Charles Spurgeon is the most misquoted person like on the planet. So I did a little bit of research and thought Man, that was a quote that I read a long time ago. Is it authentic? And it turns out that I was not able to verify its authenticity And so just know, like if you see a Charles Puron quote on the internet, there's a fifty percent chance that it is not authentic. So I just wanted to make that one correction because you're gonna to hear me in the episode mention that quote And so I really can't verify that that's authentic. J justust wanted to throw that out there. All right, with that, we will go to Corly spepell Corlely so glad to have you in studio. I know we've chatted a bit over the years about your story and I really wanted to have you on to share some of that because you are more than just good ranchers. I mean, all of my audience knows good Ranchers. byy now, they know that I have, like we literally bought stand up huge freezer just for the Good Ranchers because we just love it in our home. We should sell freezers too, actually. You should sell freezers. Yeah, that have little slots for all the things and all of that. But so you know, my audience is used to hearing me talk about Good Ranchers, but you and your husband Ben started Good Ranchers. Let's start there. Let's start with that story because one of the things that Good Ranchers was really the first Christian pro life product company that I became aware of that was competing, like legit competing, not just in quality, but in marketing and everything with some of the major brands out there and giving Christians the option to spend their money not on companies that are giving money to Planned Parenthood and all these other places, but actually doing good things with it Tell that story first because that's been a huge blessing in our family and our ministry as we've partnered together on the podcast. Yeah, I love that. Thank you for having me. I've been looking forward to this for so long and I know the timing is perfect. So about Good Ranchers, that is a total Godd story in itself because you know, but your audience probably doesn't know My husband Ben was a former worship pastor for fifteen years. So basically when he turned eighteen He moved from Baton Rouge to Houston and pursued music ministry unknowingly. He was a bank acc color but The Lord just kept opening doors for him. and so he ended up doing that and just excelled. I mean, God really has anointed him with musical gifting that, you know you also have. And so people that are in Y'all's world, I am not musically inclined. So just seeing like how he operates in that gifting is so sweet and so special. So Fast forward to twenty. fifteen, we get married and I'm assuming I'm marrying a worship pastor. Bank teller turned worship later.ere we go. L I'm going into ministry, right? this type of ministry with him And then u We got well we moved to Chicago. He took a job there at a church in Chicago. So we moved up there away from our family from Houston which was sad, but we were, you know adventurous you know, love birds, newlyweds And then we got pregnant and had a miscarriage. And so that was very, very sad and hard to walk through isolated alone from, you know, friends or family but through that it kind of It led us back home to Houston, which was very important to be closer to family, but also God just closed a lot of doors in that ministry and then began giving then ideas for other avenues of income. And we're watching a lot of shhark Tink at that time And we had just had our first baby at the end of twenty seventeen. and just kept having this idea for a meat company. He's like if we had a meat company and we did it ethically, and With good intentions, I feel like it would be support American agriculture. What year was this? This was in twenty End of twenty seventeen. Okay, so just like pre COVID. Yes, pererfect for good Res to explode. I know later. Really God really lined it up. And so then thegin of twenty eighteen, he just had this strong conviction. One day he was getting ready for church and he came out of the bathroom and he said think God just told me to start the mean company and And I said, what do you mean? He's like, I I feel like it's what we're supposed to do. It's not what if someone, it's you do it And I said, Okaykay, I support you. Let's do it. You know, we had no money, one, no business ground or agriculture experience. And so This was truly to see what God has done through goodood Ranchers. You know it could have only come from him because out of our own strength and ourselves, it just would not be what it is today And so we started small, we started selling, he was literally selling meat out of the back of a truck in a parking lot. No kidding. in Waco, Texas And it grew from one truck to three to five to ten to twenty trucks. and then we'd go into bigger cities and kind of lost the local radio markets.. And so it wouldd be like this farm to market style. do you guys raise cows? No.. We're sourcing. And so through that, he really saw the lack of transparency in the meat. I mean, there are so many layers of middlemen Like it unless you have money, like you can't get to the actual source. And so he had to I mean, what we were selling back then is nine and day of what we're selling now, but he had to grow and find out and learn and investigate to get to the source because a lot of it is imported. as you know you read it. Many people don't know that because the country of origin labeling law doesn't exist anymore for meat. Like your shirt, you have to know that that's made in, you know, China or whver, but you your meat, you don't to know, it's really bizarre. I remember talking to you guys because in COVID, I subscribed to I didn't know about goodood ranchers yet, and I subscribed to another company that shall not be named, don't name them. And only to find out that this meat that I thought was like super high quality, grass fed, all this stuff was imported from another country where there isn't really transparency and the quality that we come to expect from Good Rand. So yeah, it was kind of a bummer and finding out that they're extremely woke as well. and giving m to all sorts of horrible things and so for sure. Yeah. And so we're not against importing beef because it takes a lot to feed a country But people should at least know and have the choice. That's right. Do I want to support an American farmer you know, another country. I appreciate you saying that because I'm not particularly a boycott kind of person. You know, I know every time something happens, all the Christians will come together and be like, we're not buying from this place. I'm just like, you know, if we do that, we have to boycott everybody, but if I have the opportunity to spend my money in a way that's going to that I know that will have the ripple effect of having a positive impact for pro life, a positive impact for Christians and for America. Like it's a no brainer and I think that's so awesome what you guys are doing. so Yeah cool. And it really is so sweet and special that we get to with our marketing dollars, put it behind shows like yours or know someone else who's pro life or Christian that aligns with our values. I mean, because it's through and through. I mean, it's in our office, it's in our culture, in our benefits for our families. I mean, our maternity and maternity leave is amazing. And we're just very generous because we're Christians. L that's what we're called to be. I love that. That's so cool. Yeah. So let's get into your cancer story because I remember, I think it was in twenty twenty four I was speaking at a women's event that Good Ranchers was going to be sponsoring. and I was so excited because I think that would have been the first time I would have met you in person And I got there and you weren't there, and Ben was there. And Ben just seemed very kind of down. and he shared with me that you had received a cancer diagnosis. And I just remember just feeling that gut punch of, oh my goodness You guys have children, you're so young. I mean, all the things you start thinking about. and I remember just really praying for you And then I saw you a couple of times in person since then, but Let's start with your you had a diagnosis even before that that I wasn't aware of. Talk about that one I don't know what it is about summer, but I'm just carrying around a lot more stuff. 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Give them a try today. goo to rangeleather dot com and use my codaisa For fifteen percent off, again, go to rangeleeather. com and use my code Alisa Yes, so in twenty twenty one I got pregnant with our fourth baby And then five or six weeks later, Ben had a weird spot on his back that I wanted him to get looked at. And I hadn't been to the dermatologist in forever myself. And so we finally got the appointment, got in Turns out his spot was fine And then she was like, well, you're here, let's do a skin check. And I said, okay. And then she found this spot on the back of my leg. and she said, this looks suspicious. Let's send it in Wow. I had never even seen it Wow. And she saw it and I mean, again, the Lord like goes before you, right? Yeah And by that time, I didn't know until further testing, but it had already spread to a lymph node. So she sends it in, calls me back Corly, it's melanoma, which is skin cancer. I don't know anything about skin cancer at the time or cancer itself because I've never had cllose loved one or friend go through it And so when you're you know, dropped into that world of cancer, you're just like, it is a gut pudge, as you described. You just start thinking worst case scenario because I mean, in every book or movie, it's how they die. you know, the mom dies of cancer And so I'm pregnant, I'm carrying this life and I'm like, o Lord, How far along were you? I was six weeks, six weeks. Vy early She said I need to send you MD. Anderson for further testing And we'll go from there. And so I compose myself after lots of tears and You know, crying to Ben, thank God for Ben that he was there for me. And so We go home, kind of collect ourselves, go to MD Anderson, and then we're hit with All kinds of pressure from these oncologists and surgeons It would be best case scenario if you aborted the baby terminated the pregnancy And we're like we're not You know, we're Christians, we're not going to do that. So you know, what else? And then they continue to give like worst case scenarios. Well, what if You both die because you chose this and it's spread everywhere and you're not able to do treatment because when you're pregnant, you can't do a scan, a full body scan to see like where it's really at And so you know, we listen to all these horrific scenarios and again, we're like Okay, like What else? And soil finally got it. Okay. She's not gonna to do that. What can we do And so they said the best thing to do next would be wait until you're in your second trimester and then we'll do surgery to remove the extra skin around it and then test the nearby lymph nodes. We prayed about it, we had peace about that I said, Laura, just let the surgery be successful, the baby be healthy, full term, all the things. And he delivered on that. Like she was born full term, didn't have to have her early or anything is start any treatments, but during that surgery, they did find it in the lymph ne like I said. And so that was kind of a takes you to stage three when it goes to your lymph nodes And so that was very scary to hear But it was so small that they weren't concerned about it had spread further or needing to do any treatments or anything like that. so we could just watch and wait. And so we did, but I think in my heart kindind of new. door wasn't closed yet for cancer And I didn't want to admit it out loud. I was like, no, I'm just I'm in the thick of it. I've got three toddlers and a newborn. You know all my children were under the age of four or five at the time. It's like I'm just surviving, right I can't I don't have time to think about cancer And so kind of brushed it off But then in twenty twenty four that time that you're describing whenever you all been In January of that year, I felt a swollen lymph node next to the one that they had removed. And I just knew it. I was like Dang it. I know what this is. can, um, But I hadd already gone through it. And so I like I had that to look on, like bored was faithful then I believed he would be faithful again So we go to MD Anderson, they test it. and of course, it's melanoma And so they put me at like stage three C and And when you back up just a little bit because I'm like between the time of twenty twenty one, first diagnosis, and then twenty twenty four. After you had your baby, did they say you were in the clear? didid they I was just doing I was just doing scans inin. So they would do an ultrasound on my groin to see if they see anything there. and then they did a full body like CT scan and I did them for a while and then I just didn't want to go anymore. Okay And then when I were those coming back? They were fine. that you were fine. Yeah. They didn't say anything Um So yeah. I kind of put it off and then when I felt it, I was like, okay. So when I say I felt like it was there the whole time, it probably was You can't see cancer on a scan until it's kind of full blown Like cancer is so small and so microscopic And it takes so much time to grow. like Honestly, if you've been diagnosed with cancer, it probably started ten years ago. And that's just how long it took to get to the size that a scan could Pick it up And so and then whenever you're pregnant, you know, your immune system is kind of What am I trying to say Compromise compompromise. Thank you, because you're growing a baby, right? And so it kind and I was looking at research of this, it kind of allows room for things to grow like cancer U and so I mean, I had been pregnant for five years. so You know, my immune system was definitely compromised during those years And so it was just kind of this perfect storm for it to happen But again I was like, he was faithful then, he's going to be faithful now. And I just I went into a whole like healing health space dive journey. Yeah So what did that entail? that obviously it entailed a lot of prayer and a lot of leaning into the Lord. Talk about that first and then we'll talk about the health stuff too. Yeah, because I would say, you know quarly that went through the first bout was you know, still growing in faith and I'm still growing in faith now, but I wasn't where I am now. Clearly, right because all these seasons just make you stronger in your faith. And but it allowed me to go through this one with so much encouragement from going through it before to like really believe that I could do it again, that God would sustain me and heal me and we'd be fed And so I feel like I came into it more optimistic then the first time because again, I wasn't pregnant. So I was like, haveave that going for me? I can't even like that had to be so terrifying. because I think I remember back when I was first pregnant both times. and just feeling so I've never felt more vulnerable in my entire life. L just Like I am totally at the mercy of the people around me, especially when you're like, super big pregnant. You can't run real fast, you know Yeah. And I just remember feeling like, oh God, and then you're worrying about the baby, you know, even when things are going well and everything's normal, you're still so worried about the baby. Like did you when you were in your pregnancy, I mean How did you get through that? I feel like that would have been such a test for me to be like, okay, I'm not gonna be anxious today. I'm gonna trust you, Lord Was it just like a daily surrender of trust? Totally, which Honestly, having gone through a miscarriage, I had kind of already had that mentality with each pregnancy. I was like Today, with us baby. is a gift. Yeah. You know, in the womb. You that. That's when I'm carrying the baby, like I have the baby today That's beautiful. It was day by day. Wow. It was like literally mana for that day. Wow And then I had to have N Manna the next day. Yeah. It's almost like there's a story about that somewhere. right. Wow. Okay. so second diagnosis What was the prognosis they were giving you? Like was this Pre prettyty It's bad. So melanoma accounts for like seventy five percent cancer death is the scariest, deadliest that there is. And so I didn't I didn't really like honestly allow myself to go I didn't ask I didn't ask for a prognosis. I didn't let them tell me. I don't know if they wanted to tell me, And I didn't look it at myself because I was like, I don't know what that's good that is gonna do me. at all to read that. And so I just kind of My mind and my heart guarded from those thoughts because, you know, once they set in, they can take root. And so I just didn't, I didn't w want to go there. I didn't want to go down that hole I honestly focused on healing stories And that's a part of why I share my story so much because Like when I was in it, I needed to hear the story. So I just focused on that and prayed we fasted. I didn't grow up fasting. and so The church we were at the time was amazing and they did a great job of doing that it all church fast twice a year. and so we jumped in with that and then we started to do it on our own individually And that was powerful. And then we really had to decide were we going to go conventional like Author M D. Anderson or bolistic and you know, go to someomewhere in Mexico, you they have all these wonderful places where you can go and do like a full nutritional take on it. And so we had to pray and get confirmation on which way to go and we decided to do an integrated approach. So The first thing I did was I really just boosted my immune system I just overdosed on nutrition and health and keto diet, you know, just Lots of high quality protein, you know, thank you good ranchers. But also my mental health too and my spiritual health. like I Again, I just focused on The miracles that happened And in the Bible and the miracles happened today and just believed for the miracle Guys, I'm so grateful to partner with We Heart Nutrition on this podcast because this is a Christian owned pro life high quality supplement company that's owned by a husband and wife team, Jason and Kristen. And they've created research backed, highly bioavailable supplements that don't have fillers, artificial ingredients, no shortcuts. This is like a no brainer. So many of us are taking supplements anyway, We're ordering them from online or we're getting them at the drugstore. and a lot of these formulas are just not made in a way that your body can absorb it really well Well, we heart nutrition has the highest possible integrity with how they formulate their products, plus they're pro life, and they donate ten percent of absolutely every single sale to pregnancy resource centers all across the country. And what's really cool is when you make your order, they actually tell you exactly how much money they're giving to these pro life centers. Now I take their multivitamin. I found out, I did some blood work recently, found out that I was deficient in a couple of vitamins. So that's really helping me to supplement and replenish some of the vitamins that I've been Deicient in, I also take their magnesium glycinate at night, which is so great because it doesn't have hidden oxide blends, which a lot of the stuff you get at the drugstore does. I take the omega supplements that are third party tested for purity, such great high quality supplements, and I know that my money is going to a good cause. So try them today. I will also tell you that the prices are really competitive So go to weheartnutrition dot com today. If you're not sure where to start, you can take the thirty second quiz to figure out what's the best blend for you. and you can use my code Alisa for twenty percent off your first order. Again, that's weheartnutrition d. comot use my code Alisa. And how did that how did it look for you that miracle? Like when did you know like, wow, I I'm through this. I'm healed It took a while because in January, again, I was full of faith and I got real serious about all the hell stuff. so I felt really great. I had no symptoms of cancer. I didn't look like a cancer patient. I was stronger than I've, you know, been in a while and then I went to MD Anderson and did their their recommendation was to do two doses of immunotherapy and then surgery And so immunotherapy is not like chemo and it's not as hard on you on your body. You don't like lose your hair and It's a lot less stressful on your body. It's still drugs and, you know, very heavy drugs. and so I felt a little more comfortable with that And so we went that route and I did my first dose in March. And I think the conference was around that time I remember seeening you, are you talking about Sherare the Aross or no, you're talking about the one I shw Yeah in twenty twenty four because That's when I got sick was after I did the first dose. so I did it, and then I just started running fevers around the clock and couldn't really get out of bed much and just felt so, so sick. Any know when you've got toddlers running around is hardar and running a business and all the things. But again, the Lord provided like my sister and her four kids, their family moved onto our street The year before that happened. so she was there to help. My mom had already moved in with us, so she was there to help And so it was very supportive. That's great. but it was still hard And so, u Got really sick went in for the next dose the next month, and I ask my oncologist, I'm like What would you do Be I like I am sick. L what do people do? Do they just keep going And she said, honestly, a lot of people will just ask for a steroid shot and it' takes all this away and it kind of takes him out of it and then we can check into something else, maybe chemotherapy or something. and I said, Well, what would you tell me to do if were your daughter And she said, I would tell you to do it Okay. We're gonna to do it And so We did it And then I just got Even sicker Well, it doesn't a steroid It suppresses your immune system. It does. Yeah. I didn't do the steroid. I did another dose of immunotherapy. Gotch youa. So I continued with Ke going. first the first first plan And so got super sick and I was completely bedridden and I was soaking the bed every night with night sweats. L literally I remember my My mom and Ben had to rig up this like air conditioning thing under the sheets because I was just so sick You know, when your kids are so little They're so little and they're asking for mommy like You can't go upstairs put them to bed Or like give them a bath Every day feels like eternity You know? pediquan? I mean, talk about just like perspective of life and gratitude like Every day is a gift. And I remember being so sick in those moments and talking with my sister This was in April So from March to April And I was like The Lord's calling me home, like What have the healing is Heavenly yelling And she's like, I remember telling me she was like quarly whether you have cancer or not you have today No one's guaranteed tomorrow. Yeah. So you know, really like understanding that that was Those doubts and questions. 's good to know that we're secured, right? Our eternity is secured, but also While we're here it, I mean, it really is ment from the devil in your mind making you wrestle with it. Yeah. because we should be content. That's home just Preressling with that was very, very hard You know what you've just said there is really profound on many levels. Number one, I'm so struck by Just the continual, even since twenty twenty one, being pregnant and then being sick ' just like it's today I have this moment. I have this time, this day. And I've said this on the podcast so many times, but you know, I think sometimes as Christians We can settle into this idea that salvation is like, okay, I have faith in Jesus. Like I sign my name on a card or I do the thing. I pray the prayer And then I've trusted there I have. But the real Christian life is filled with trials and sufferings and difficulties. Jesus promised that And it's not just that one time thing of placing faith in Jesus that especially like in experiences like you've had, I've had other friends who have gone through cancer, who have said similar things that it's likeike a daily, even hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute, I trust you. I trust you in this. And then the other thing that you said that I think really struck me is you know, in my ar sometometimes you like when we're speaking out against some of the more like the abuses in the hyper charismatic movement, for example, you hear the word miracle and like I I'll just be honest, like sometimes I kind of clinch up and I'm like,, but I'm like, but no, but God does still do miracles. Of course Christianity stands or falls based on a miracle being real the resurrection of Jesus, right? As Paul said, if Christ has not been raised, your faith is in vain and you're still in your sins. And of course, I think miracles are not necessarily normative or they wouldn't be miracles. If if we all walked around doing miracles every day, then they wouldn't be called miracles. They would just be called everyday life. Yeah. But God still does do those things. I remember reading This quote from Spurgeon about he had gout and his gout was just excruciating. And there's this prayer people can look it up online. I wish I had it in front of me, but I'll just have to remember it. But it was something to the effect of he was praying and just crying out to the Lord. and he was like, I had a son with this. L would I not do everything I could to take this pain and suffering from him. And he reported that The pain of the Galr Mabius back pain. Wis gone that moment and the Lord just supernaturally healed him. the Lord does do that. In fact, I have a story from when I was just had delivered my daughter I got MRSa. and I actually wrote about this in my book in other Gspel, which is methicllin resistant staphylcoccus arearis. I'm sure I said that wrong. but it' it's a antibiotic resistant staph infection. And that's one you don't want to Google because ser Yeah, you can actually lose limbs. And I have a huge boil on the side of my leg And then she got it And she was five months old And we went to the doctor. I had it But tested, you know, because they have to culture it to find out exactly what medicine will actually treat it because it's resistant to regular antibiotics. And meanwhile, we prayed. we went actually brought her to church and had the pastor pray for her and it dried up. over the weekend and it's a two day or three day culture When we went back, it was I went in and I was like here and he's like, well, there's nothing there. And I was like, well, I know, but you you guys cultured it three days ago or whatever it was. And he's like, Well, yeah, I've got the results here. It's positive. It's so it is MRSA, but there's nothing there. And I was like, well So what do I need to do? He's like, there's nothing there. You're like, I need to tell me. And it was one of those things where I do believe the Lord miraculously healed her, but interestingly, he didn't miraculously heal me. Right. I had to take the medicine. I had to walk through it. So sometimes he does. Yeah. and sometimes he doesn't. And I so appreciate that you that you acknowledge that sometimes that healing takes place. and for most people, it probably does take place in heaven when we are fully restored and all of that. But as you were wrestling and walking through that, not knowing exactly what his answer would be, knowing that, absolutely he can. And I do think we should pray for healing. When we're sick, we should be praying, Lord, you are the great physician, you are the healer And I accept your answer. That's going to happen on this side or on the other side. And I'm so thankful. in your case, it was on this side with all those precious babies and everything Were there passages of scripture that just you leaned on that just got you through this time? What was that like for you Another wonderful Christian owned, pro life company that I love to partner with on this podcast is Adele Natural Cosmetics. Founded in twenty fourteen, they create makeup and skincare with carefully selected ingredients with a commitment to cleaner beauty. All the products are formulated in the USA. They are proudly pro life supporting organizations that share that commitment And they believe that beauty should enhance what God has already created rather than to mask it. I really love so many of their products. I use their XO eye shadow in the corners of my eyes. 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Again, that's Adele naturalcosmetics d. com. use my code Elisa for sure. I mean, I like lived and breathed psalms. ike just stayed in somps. Yeah. you know? I mean Gosh, let me go And I have so many notes, and I'm so glad I wrote down. If you're going through a trial And you're in the word like you should be. Pursuing the Lord, write it down. Write down every Yeah every prayer from here, you have every many notes in your margins there. Every prayer Um And I just I prayed them over myself So Psalm ninety one Um Nine Let's go to it becausecause you have made the Lord my refuge to the most high, your dwelling place. No harm will come to you No plague will come near your tent, for he will give us angels orders concerning you to protect you in all your ways And it goes on, right? And so I just inserted my name into all this scripture and I just prayed it over myself and I believed it. like I believed it. But again, I was fully surrendered. at that moment, I was like You could call me home tomorrow and I'd probably be okay because I'm in so much pain. there was a full surrender. because in the beginning of it, I was full of faith, but I was also like of faith and the things I was doing also like in God, but also getting healthy I'm going to MD Anderson, the best place in the world. I have found the greatest surgeon in melanoma. you know, I was full of faith in those things too. But then I go in for a follow up scan after that after I'm super sick And so the lymph node that was in the groin that I felt initially was probably the size of a marble It had grown to the size of a grapefruit in this grin area And so I couldn't wt I then had a wheelman to MDy Anderson for this follow upp. so this was a scan to follow up and see how the immunotherapy works whichich the immotherapy is supposed to shrink it. It's supposed to make it smaller if it's working. Even before I did immunotherapy, they put in this little tiny like metal tracer basically in the lymph node in case or hopefully that it would vanish. And they could still find what the lymph where the lymph node was once it had vanished if the medicine worked, that they could still find it to take it out to test it, right? Well, they didn't need that tracer because this sucker was Massive. massive and angry And so he then whels me into M My Anderson. I do a scan They do an ultrasound and the scans come back and it's s obviously huge and it's spread all over this lymph node basin. So it's not in one anymore. it's Innumerable innumerable lymph notes. Wow And so they're reading this death report. I mean, literally my oncologist who is not a believer and I'm trying to witness to her throughrough all this. She comes in and she's like, Well, your cancer laughed at the treatments, everything you've done, it laughed, it's spad and it's angry. It's know, weve got a pivot and do something else. We can't do surgery now. You're too sick, it's too inflamed Um, you need to take these chemotherapy pills, they're not curative so they won't shrink or they won't it it won't make it go away, but they'll hopefully shrink it so we can still do surgery to get it all out And so on the way home You know, Ben and I are driving and we had picked up the prescription. I had gone to the ER that night there because I was so sick. they gave me an IV antibiotics and I started feeling better And so we went home and we're driving home and we're just like Um I remember asking Ben I'm like What was it like When you had this strong conviction from the Lord to start Good Rangers because it was kind of out of nowhere. Right And to see what it is now It's grown. it's successful We're doing out of the Lord. What was it like when you lik had that weird thought your mind. That was not from you. And he was like, Well, it was exactly that. I just I knew it wasn't my fa. It was it was the Lord speaking to me. It wasn't the cllouds opening and heaven opening and I you know, thou'll start a meat company. It was just a conviction inside myself that I knew wasn't from me. 's like, why are you asking that We just heard all these terrible things And then I told him I just really feel like The Lord spoke to me two weeks ago and told me that the cancer was cad and not thriving and Like I was humel. And so to feel this way and look this way and these scans You know? Do that mean? he's calling me home? What does that mean And he's like, Well, if he said that, let's believe it And I said, okay, And so we just kind of bin together and we get home and then that's when I told him. O, but I'm not going to take these chemotherapy pills And he's like Okay but what if the Lord's using that Heal you. You know? And And I said, Ben, I just have such a strong conviction I don't want to do it. I don't need to do it And you gota understand When someone is so sick and point Like I said, noggging on heaven's doors for them to tell you to do one more thing take another medicine that will make you sick again, that will the first u side effect, possible side effect is more cancer. It's just like You have to You have to weigh everything And I said, no, I don't want to take it. I'm not going to take it He said, okay And it was hard it was hard for him to accept. It was hard for my mom and my sister because everyone You know, they mean well and they want Yeah The best for me. they want me home and you know, I'm believing The medical field Again, I just had this strong conviction. And so I didn't do it and then A week later able to get up out of bed and I'm walking again I remember first the first morning I was able to get out of bed and brush my daughter's ha And everyone's like, Ohh my gosh, you know, this is amazing And so my nutritionist, he's amazing. He's not at ND Anderson but he specializes in oncology. He said, you need to call and ask for a rescan before surgery because I think things have changed significantly and are changing. And they need to get another game plan for surgery. And I said, oK, and so I called push for a reskin. they did not want to do it, but they they ended up doing it. did an ultrasound and a scan and everything just only two weeks after that twowo weeks from going home with the prescription bottle. to going back in for a scin Everything had already shrunk by overroup seventy five percent And so they're thinking, oh my gosh The medicine's doing its job. It's shrinking everything. This is great Do it because I was supposed to take it or six weeks or something and then do surgery. And I said, okay. And I didn't tell them at this point because like I said, my onncologist. She's not a believer. She wasn't on board with any of the alternative things I was doing in addition to you know, their stuff, but I just kind of kept it to myself because I felt like the Lord was writing this really beautiful story and I wanted him to get all the glory end you know, I didn't want anyone to look back and be like, oh, it was this, obviously or it was this. I just I wanted it to be a mystery and then Whatever the end was, again me going home or being here, he got the glory And so then we do surgery And I'm just feeling so good. We end up going out of town before surgery. you know, we sponsor NndieCar and I was able to go to the Nnd five hundred at the end of May that month before surgery, I was feeling so good And it's funny becausecause we had guests there at the suite and you know, They had been prepped like quarly six, She's able to come, but You know, and so they're thinking oh my gosh, she's like she's going to be in a wheelchair. Yeah, ye. she's going to be so frail, like all these things. And so they see me like bopping around this giants track and they're just You're not sick And I'm like, the Lord is doing something and I didn't know it at the time, right? I didn't know what the end result would be, but I just I knew it was going to be awesome. And so I'm telling them in faith, I'm like I feel like those surgery is gonna to prove what he said So we do surgery Everything they removed, they removed Probably like ten lymph nodes fifteen, the ones that were all lighting up. And the main one was completely dead. So there was cancer in it, obviously the had grown and all of that was dead What did that mean? It was dead It responded to something. Oh, okay. The cancer was dead. Yes, the cancer was dead So it either responded to the immunotherapy, Or a miracle, right or but it couldn't have been the chemotherapy pose but because again, they said This doesn't kill cancer. it only shrinks it. Okay, So we know that it was not those pills. And then the other lymph nodes never had cancer in them atid all. There was nothing there. Wow. So they were lighting up with cancer and then when they removed them sliced them all open Nothing So to come in And they read the results Obviously everyone's excited and then I share with them that I didn't take the chemotherapy ps because she was telling me I had to take them for another year And so I told her at that moment that I didn't take them and then, you know, she was Kind of upset and bewildered and And I was like, well K knowing that, like what do you tell me to do now? And she's like, Well I guess now we just do Watching scans And so we have ever since and it's been two years now. and I'm cancer free today. Wow. Well, I praise God for that. Praise God. so good. It was a ride. Yes. and do what are your feelings now? Like when you go in for the scans, do you feel nervous? Do you have a sense of confidence with it or what do you feel like I think that it's definitely, like I said, an opportunity for the enemy to to try to sow seeds of down and stuff. but I do have confidence in them I do wrestle with, do I keep going or not? I don't. because I know I'm healed, but then I'm like, well I'm there. I can witness to someone who needs it. You know, whether it be the doctor or the person next to me, the patient next to me And so Do I like going? No? I absolutely hate it. It is the worst thing in the world. Yeah It's called skkin Anxiety anxiety as we call it. Yeah. And I hate it, but imagine You know I do Yeah, yeah. So A lot of times when people are thinking about the existence of God or they're thinking about the reality of Christianity, is Jesus real? Is He really here with us? There's kind of a couple of different approaches people can take they might hear a story like yours and say, well, what about the person who doesn't get the miracle? What about the person who believes with all their heart? The Lord told them not to take the chemo pills. They don't take the chemo pills and they die.. And you know honestly like concern about that, even people hearing this going I'm going to be like her. I'm going to have faith. and I'm going to just not take my chemo pills or I'm not going to go do the treatments. and you know, that that was obviously right for you. It may not be right for them. You know, my dad is an example of somebody who, I, he really believed the Lord was going to heal him of cancer And he died of cancer. And but you know, he died so well He died full of faith in the Lord. neverever once was he like, Well, the Lord didn't heal me, so I'm out. God, you know shake his fist at the Lord, not at all. He died beautifully full of faith in the Lord and just witnessing and sharing the gospel with everybody till his last breath honestly. And so I think when you have a true Christian there is that mindset of like, yes, the Lord is a God of miracles. I mean, salvation is a miracle. Healing happens for all Christians, whether it's on this side of heaven or on the other side. We're all moving toward that healing. Um, But maybe speak to the person who might be hearing your story and feeling almost maybe angry, like, well My loved one didn't get that result I personally know a woman I was about twenty years old and it was one of my good friends mom. who had I can't remember what kind of cancer And she was so, so sure the Lord was going to heal her one hundred percent and she also didn't do treatments. She tried to go the health route and she died. And that does happen. And we have to wrestle with that. So maybe speak to that person who might be feeling a little bit like angry, like, why did God heal you, but not somebody else? And how do you make sense of that? Yeah, for sure because And whenever I tell the story, I do Preface This is not to give tell anyone what to do. Yeah. You have to seek the Lord, you have to do your own research. I mean I became And all cancers are different.. Not everything is going to be the same. It's not all fact that's one thing we learned when my dad had cancers. Cancer' sort of this big umbrella term that encompasses a whole bunch of other things. And so yeah, so continue,. Yeah. You just have to do your own research You have to find your secret place and spend time with the Lord You can't, I mean, this was me. this is my experience. So Christian became very casual with it, like your Sunday Christian And so through this journey and through motherhood and marriage and all that, everything's been building right. But I had to like I had to get in the word for myself. I couldn't rely on my pastor's message to carry me through. That's great. and I love it. Yeah and I support it I have to pray and spend time with the Lord to hear from him What I was relying on in that was the nature and character of God. And if I didn't if I didn't know that, what am I like I don't know what I'm relying on. So I had to get in the word for myself not what I grew up on or you know wh other people were telling me I had to know it for myself. And so That was like step one for me. I just did a deep dive on God's character, his nature Jesus' miracles when he was here and I think that's what kind of ignited my faith But then being on my deathbed, there was the surrender of Okay, Lord, like I trust that you'll heal me, I trust in your nature, but I also submit to your will And I'm okay if you call me home That's okay because as Christians We don't lose Yeah We don't lose. There's no losing here. I'm either going to be healed here or I get to spend forever with Jesus. Will family and loved ones be sad? Of course. thenen they they are in the waiting room to see you again, right there is going to be a reunion one day. So they have that to look forward to. And so again, I think to that person It's the mental game and what the enemy tries to torment us with is those feelings. and I'm not saying they're invalid. They're real feelings. But when I think about what Scripture says about feelings, it says slow to anger. It doesn't say you're not going to be angry This is what I'm working right now with my children, for the young children, okay Slow to anger. It's like correlate You're probably gonna get angry but I need you to be slow to it But what does it say about um Oh my gosh, I lost tra of thought. Gow to anger. Be anxious for nothing tells me not to be anxious for anything. It doesn't say, you can be anxious like probably for cancer. or like you might die. or you might lose your mom or dad.t I can't be anxious for that. I have to fy surrender that. Anxiety. C that anxiety I'm not supposed to have I'm called to not have it. And so and it's a daily surrender. It's hour by hour, minute by minute. L And just because I'm on the other side of the heiling, it doesn't mean that enemy is on in my mind like, well, what if it comes back, you're going on all this podcast sharing your testimony? Of course he wants me to think that and byy that lie because This is how we overcome The blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. So me sharing my testimony He doesn't want me to do that. And so it's just, I think going through this journey, I've had to also discern between The Lord, myself and the enemy, Like who's speaking what, right? And what am I going believe in taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ to sing that daily And so to that person, where maybe it wasn't the answer you wanted or thought trusting that his ways are higher than ours. Like with our worldview, what we see, We can't even see the f even a glimpse of the full picture. And so we're just like a piece of the puzzle or like piece of the mosaic. L I have to trust that you've got this big beautiful plan for eternity worked out And you're using me in this loveved one that I lost or this diagnosis as part of that. And I'm just going to be fully surrendered to like whatever that path is. Yeah You don't get And then there's probably, I'm going to guess people watching who may just have gotten that diagnosis. And they're scared, they're wondering, what do I do? How do I make these decisions? Where do I even go for the research What would your advice be to them? I love that you pointed us to the psalms because the psalms are so great because they are the models of prayer. Like you can pray the Psalms. This is the prayer book of Israel. and it really there's lament in there where we have permission to be like, why are my enemies doing this? Where are you, God? And yeah, and it's like, you know, just to be able to be so real with God about what you're actually feeling. like so many times David in the Psalms is this is happening, this is and where are you? and what does this My soul will trust in God. But God is good. It always, you know, comes back to that trusting in the faithfulness of God. So maybe speak to that person who Mbe has that really scary diagnosis and This is the first time for them. you know, like you in twenty twenty one kind of the first into those waters for sure. I mean And again, I I think a big Part of it is protecting your mind because the world will want you to believe that it's a death sentence and that's all you're headed towards And it's just not true. Yes, it happens. I'm not denying that But that doesn't have to be your story. That's someone else's story. So that doesn't have to become your story. So while you're here on Earth, while we have this breath Why not believe for the earthly healing? for the early miracle, why not believe for it? And if we don't get it, like again, we just don't lose. So I think just having that perspective of Oh I can be full of faith and hope for the best but also be fully surrendered. Like you can walk with both of them. It's like Habaka, I just love Habakca and the wrestling. I even know that Habacca means to wrestle and to embrace. Oh wow. And that's what it is. It's like, I'm wrestling with you because like I know you're my father and you want good things for me and you will do anything for me But I'm also embracing like, if this is your plan for me Okay, Like I trust you. you're a good father. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah. But as far as research and where to go I mean, I have a lot of great resources that I trust from like my nutritionist, He's amazing and he's a Christian man as well. And so I love him. He's a wealth of knowledge. I'm happy to share any advice with anyone. And always tell them if they just call Good Ranchers customer service, they're in office and friendriendswood where we live They can connect me to them and I'm happy to pray with anyone or talk to anyone I would love to do that. I'm an open book, but really, I mean, you got to research, you got to pray And you gotta be open hands That's so good Now you and your husband are starting a podcast. Yeah. And tell me about that. Are you going to be sharing about this journey or like advice on this kind of things? What's the podcast gonna be like? Yeah, so you're actually the first one to hear about it, which is very exciting. Hey, yeah. So we've been thinking about it for a long time then, you know, he's a former worship pastor and has spoken before lots of occasions and feels like it's time icro phone back. and so The Lord's kind of been putting it on our heart. and so we have a really great team behind it that's helping develop it. But it'll be called Raised rightite And so that'll kind of encompass raising a family and faith builduilding a business, entrepreneurship, raising animals, you know, go into the food system and all the mysteries there. So it'll kind of cover lots of things. very. But we're very excited for it. Any final words Oh my gosh O are your final words. What? My final words. you know, I just think that onene of the things that, you know, because we're mostly like an apologetics podcast and discernment, that kind of stuff. discerning counterfeot ideas from from real Oes and I think the thing that I'm always struck by is it's really easy to theorize like make everything theoretical to kind of hypothesize about You know, how this theology is going to apply to real life, But when you really walk through it, like you're in the trenches. And I'm just as you're talking, I'm remembering that time of when Dylan was five months old and she had MERSA, I had MERSAa, I got it twice. And there was there's something that you said that I still am honestly trying to work out theologically. Yeah. Like for me, it's always I hear it How do I how do I together what I'm reading in the Word of God with my experience. And you know, I actually grew up very charismatic. So it was like every everybody all the time was like, o, God told me this, God told me that. So I've become almost like really. So even hearing you say like I'm just being honest, like inside, I'm going, I'm spinning like theologically like, how do I make sense of this? And then I'm recalling times throughout my life where I do think something very real happened. I might word it differently today. like back Back then, I would have said Well, the Lord told me that she's healed And so I prayed that way, and I believed that way And I think that that is true. I think that the Lord had decided She was going to be healed And whether I would say it like that today, whether I would say, Well, God told me these words I might today say, I definitely believe I was aligning with God's will and that the Holy Spirit was leading me to that. And whether I put that in my words or hisis words, I don't know But I know that that's what theord Lord's will was for her And I had no doubt in my mind that that's what he was doing in her And if he would if she wouldn't have been healed, and she would have had to because my biggest fear was that she was going to have to take this horrible medicine at five years old. five months old. I just did not want her, please God. I don't want her to have to take this horrible medicine. It's going just Wipe out her, you know gut and everything. It's five months old for sure. And And yet, if that was the answer, that's what it would have been. And I would have trusted him through that. But there was just something different happening. And I don't quite know how to explain it other than now I did all the stuff in the physical realm, like you did. Like you're supposed to bleach every surface of your you know, I did all the things, the sana, you know, you gott to totally get rid of it And you know, they told us that She and I would be colonized with MRSA for the rest of our lives. It colonizes in your nose. And you are supposed to have outbreaks for basically the rest of your life because you're colonized by this whatever it is. Okay. and this staph infection And I just knew that it was it was done, doneone. And We've never had one, never had one. And she's turning eighteen you. So neither one of us have ever had. That's amazing. Another thing. So I do tend to go from my intellectual mind, even going, I do believe that was a miraculous healing. You know, so I wrestle with those things. I do and whether or not I would word it that way, but I definitely believe the Lord was guiding me toward like, this is what I'm doing. And so when I was praying, I didn't feel like and this is maybe the relevant point, I didn't feel I was making something happen at all. I felt like I was just getting in line with what God was doing And I was doing all the things in the physical realm that I needed to do. I was praying for the healing, believing for the healing. I was full of faith full of faith, but it wasn't again, something I was mustering. It was actually a gift that God gave me. I'm looking back I wouldn't have known to word it that way then. This was even before my faith crisis. know, I didn't really know the theological terms for things. But looking back today, I truly believe that The Holy Spirit was like, this is what I'm doing. And Yeah, pray this way. And I was it was just, I remember we were going somewhere town And I bleached myself out of the house because I know And I was just like, and And thank you, Lord. It's done. It's done. And it was done. And we've never had It's a relapse and it's been eighteen years. So U yeah, it's it's like these things that I continue to wrestle with because on one hand, With all the abuses I've seen with healing theology, You know, you see all these people lose their faith because they didn't get the miracle promised Yeah. And then on the other hand, you're like, but God does these things. He does. And who knows why there's this audio that people can go find on the internet where this pastor was phhysically healed. His voice was healed H you heard this one?. And what was so interesting to me is that he was actually teaching that God doesn't always heal. Wow. You know, like he was teaching Yeah that You just accept what the Lord's decision is. And then as he's speaking, you can hear him become healed. So yes, I guess my final words are Yes, God is a God of miracles. And I think as Christians, we should focus on the written word, what He has revealed. But we also know we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit who leads, guides, comforts Yeah and a God who heals that's right you know, And if he doesn't He still does because Ultimately, that's what heaven is all about. That's right. That's all these promises to wipe away every tear, no more death, no more crying, no more sickness That is already done It is. And so sometimes we get a glimpse of it on Earth and that's beautiful. when it is and it is such a testament to his power and his compassion But even when he doesn't you can hear those stories as well and hear Just the beautiful things that come out of it. I wish I had a better word for things, but just the beautiful the beauty from the ashes. Absolutely. A lot of times you can't put words or like figure out a miracle. And when you were talking, I was immediately brought back to John nine And the the The man born blind and Jesus heals him. He's seeing again, but then the Pharisees How do he do it? Who is he? What do he do Just likeah, grilling him, I need the answers And he said, whether or not he's a sinner, I don't know One thing I do know, I was blind and now I can see. And so I think there's something to that. if that's a story that God has in H word for us that he didn't give all the The details about it, he left it a mystery. There's still going to be mysteries today. A lot of people can look at my case and I'm sure you'll get in the comment section Well, what about this? What about that? You know And I'm like, y'all, I can show you the receipts of the scans and what they told me. And and me being canancer free today I don't know I did it. There was no silver bullet. Yeah. because I did it all Yeah, yeah I did natural conventional E. But in the end It was God and he gets all the glory. Yeah. Well, and I think I'll add, o, maybe this final thought too just as' we're king through these things I think trusting and having faith in God also knows that is also an acknowledgement of the fact that whatever his decision is is actually best, evenven if it's not the one you're hoping for. And that's the thing that I think more of us need to really get in our bones. is that in your case, this was what was best If his answer would have been different, that would have been best That would have been best. Oh for sure. And there would be a hundred variables that we don't know about that he's working in all of that And so I think The thing I'm takakingen away from today's conversation more than anything is just that trust, that complete and utter trust in the character of God, the nature of God, His word and And that what he decides is is right because he is just and he is good. That's true And that trust brings the peace, supernatural peace. Yes. that trends in all understanding. So I was able to have peace on my death bed because I had the trust in him It's so good. I see Well, wow, what a great conversation. I just want to encourage all of us as we pursue Christ, no matter what we're going through