Closing Thoughts and Outro

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Check out Side Hustle Pro every week on your favorite podcast app And it's a ACast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere A Cast Ducks I started Ornaot in twenty thirteen and we make bike apparel part of Shopify for me is our ability to run the business as essentially non technical people. We're able to admin everything on the back end, front end, and sell things online easily. If Shopify were a bike accessory, I think it would actually be the bicycle. It's the thing that you do the thing on. We run the business on Shopify Start your free trial on shhopify. com There are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already. I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We'll try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday? Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max. Nope, the greatest and most interesting day of your life unless it was yesterday We don't want to know about it I'm Max Rushton, and I'm David O'dah Hery. Welcome What did you do yesterday Hello and welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday. My name is Max Rosson, alongside me, David O'Dhery, welcome, David. It's a great pleasure to have on today's podcast. Fllow legend of Bakeoff. Yeah. Now some would say that Briie May Williams made more of a cultural impact you know, going on it and being the star basically of an entire series that is one of the most beloved series. Don't put yourself down, David. My large flat meringue that Paul Hollywood said was too big put it in the oven and it would just crack. What wasas your showstopper, your own head in meringue? Is that what it was Oh I'm sorry, Dave. is it getting too much? I had a friend Dave who I kept talking about his big nose and he once said to me, Can you stop talking about it? And so I did? And I've never talked about it since. so if you don't want me to bring it up have traditionally mocked my short legs long torso ratio. But we spend a lot of time in not together. Yes. A lot of our time we are just looking each other's heads. so really any sort of like For want of a better word banter between us. If it's to do with appearance, it will be quite head based. Exactly, ye, yeah. Like you could have huge feet like a clown. I have the feet of a mallard. nobody But nobody knows I don't mind the head one because it's not a traditional thing that people have mocked me for is the point I'm making that. Okay So it's new. It's almost fun. You know what I mean? It'd be like if I started mocking you about Having your ears are too perfectly shaped. You know what I mean? Your ears look like they're AI. somethinghing like that.retty big actually. When I'm old, these will be big old Prince Gares. I' be like the FAup. Anyway back to Brianie May Williams. It's a good day, this. We've just recorded it. It's a good day. It's really good. You will know her from her chef stuff, various recipe things, appearing on a litany of TV shows She has a podcast. I'm not judging, but I did make the point to her off aair that if you put two Ts on that, it's a parenting podcast, but sticking two T's on it They are not judging asses. And they're not in fairness. It feels more like the loaded magazine if podcast in the nineties, they would be I am judging but It would just be, you know, ranking the bottoms of various people. Do they still do best bottoms Britain's B best Bottom or something really was it. It wasn't called Britain's best bot of Britain Brit' best bottom is on all the productions of a midsummer night stream that have been on this year. Pled Bottom the best. This episode, I'm very pleased with it. I think it's a good one and it's not another of my comedy friends. That's another plus for it Ladies and gentlemen, this is what Branie May Williams did yesterday Brianie May Williams, welcome to what did You Do Yesterday? Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here. How you doing I'm well I'm absolutely med. But that's not this podcast. I wanted to be honest. It's day seven of ten of solo parenting. But this is not my episode, Briie. It's your episode. How are you? Thank you. I am not solo parenting, so you know, life is good. Got my little peach s next to me. He's having a little slumber. so yeah, I'm all good. Wow. Our lives are just such fun and so brilliant compared to yours Max. look, I know we've got something to get to now, but to the listeners, this is one of the saddest faces I've ever seen. Oh know, I think you look really bright and well for seven out of ten, you know? It's AI. It's just AI a version of himself. You probably remember the BBC London ninety four point nine Breakfast show from two thousand six where I host is Joe Good, who used to be in crossroads and she used to say Dctor Footlights as in when they say go, when you're on air, you just have to turn it on I'm just delivering. Right now I'm just delivering. What ring light are you using? 'use it's really quite magic. It's enormous. I know He's driven his sububaru into the front of the shed and he just put all the high beams at there those pointsirect. None of this matters, Brianie. What we need to know matters. What time did you wake up yesterday, please, Bri? I woke up yesterday at six Well, that's when my first alarm went off. I'm one of those people who have a gazillion alarms because one just won't do. So one goes off at six hundred fifteen and then I snooze it And then whilst that's still snoozing, another one will go off at half pus six. And then eventually at quarter to seven, I pull my backside out of bed because I just I'm not one of those people who alarm goes off and then they get out of bed. I wish I could be one of those people. So hang on, your snoozees fifteen min snz. I always thought a snooze was a nine minute for some reason. I was thought it was stuck on nine. No, I think it is, but I have the snoozes as well as then another alarm fifteen minutes later. Yeah Yeah I see. Just in case I accidentally stopped the snoozing And then I have a backup. Victorian man with a stick comes up and hits the window Yeah, exactly. becausecause I then have to go and wake up my daughter, who's ten and I have to make sure she's awake around quarter to seven, ten to seven. otherwise the whole school drop off's going to be an absolute disaster. G. What's the sort of ding dong of your alarm Great question. Thank you so much, Davis. Radio Cambridge, Raina Ga. don't know actually. Could you try and do it for us? It's like a doooooooooo you know, it's not like a it's kind of more like a gentleoooooo. I don't like to be woken up abruptly That's not. As I sense it's going off a lot. You've got like fifteen alarms and the s just coming back in. and so you don't want like It's otherwise it's a bit like that bit in SAS who dares wins where, you know, you've got to the end and then they put bag on your head and basically play you an alarm for fifty hours. and now that's proof that you could be in the SAS. Yeah, no, it's not like that. It's more like I'm waking up in like a fairy dream, you know, like, o, there's fairies in my bedroom. lovely. That's nice. And then I just shut them up for eight minutes and then some more fairies come in. And yeah, that's generally how we roll. I'm breaking the rules of the podcast here Because Max has children, they wake them up at four AM at the moment. When was the last time you were woen with an alarm, Max? Because you are asking people what their alarms are, but That's a good question. I wondering do you ever need it? If I've got a radio show at ten at night or midnight, then I have to like have a nap for an hour and a half. So it. L everyvery time of day is in my alarms. Yeah. L from like one AM to you know eleven PM. there's not a minute of the day that I haven't gone eleven seventeen. It's possible. When you wake up your daughter, is it just open the door and hello or is it like a struggle No it's quite a g gentle kind of like, I'll climb into her bed and be like, Morning, darling. Oh She's only ten. We've only got one child so you know, actually Brillant choice. Great, one and done. My friends who've all got more than one, it sounds much more stressful in the morning where I' like timeime to wake up, darling. And she kind of opens her eyes and goes,'m very tired. But can't they at the age of twelve, can't they split into multiples then Yeah that's. C come in one m to get the six in the bed then you're like, Oh no. If you have like a ten year old, you could have two five year olds. If you have a twelve year old, you might get three four year olds or you might really get shats on and have six two year olds. That could happen No, I can't do that. I can't do that. That's like the worst horror movie. you've ever just invented D. Yeah, that literally gives me chills. I mean my brother's got three kids and I just look at him, I'm not, I don't know how you do it. Like three. imagine, Oh, sixty year olds, no thanks D so, she's all right in the morning, the ten year old, Nora, she's allright The dog, however, is starting to become a bit of a pain in the ass, so he's going to be twelve in a few months. Oh yeah. He's a cockapoo. he's very sweet. So you gonna get six cockoo get six cockapoos? Yeah, I'm al right with that as long as they're puppies. We think he's going a bit senile. We've taken him to the vets and they think he might be getting a bit of doggy dementia. Oh no Hes starts howling at like half six in the morning and I'm like I still had another eight minutes of snoozing. I mean, he can't withar the dogs ask who the prime minister is.. I asked him to draw a clock and it just That' terrible. so he couldn't put the numbers inside. It was weird. It's just his answer has just got a bit more a rambling Joe Biden style. He's just muming. tell you the starting eleven of Chn athletic In nineteen fifty two. It's amazing. It really is. So the daughter' awake, Nora iss awake, the dog is howling. okay. The dog's got to do a pee surely. Yeah. So you're gonna have to wake daughter up and then straight down? Exactly that, yeah. So I wake the daughter up, get her kind of at least in the process of, you know, waking up and then I come down Let the dog out for a week, make a cup of tea. and make Nora's breakfast because she then has breakfast in bed as if she's some sort of Downton Abby princess. Is it on a little weeie tray Drop it. Oh that's so nice. Again the joys of being an only child, I'm like, I'll bring your breakfast up if you want. I don't mind. I like having my cup of tea in bed, so if you want to have your breakfast in bed, I'm right with that. What's she having? She will have a bowl of cereal. or some toast, maybe like a little a bit of jam on there. And yesterday was specifically yesterday I have no interest in any anything. sorry, God, yeah, you're not interested in general days, my bad. Yesterday specifically it was a bowl of crave. Oh, what's crave? The Aldi version of Crave, which I think is called like crazy or something, like it's very close to the word crave. It's like a puffy cereal with like nutella in the middle, basically. Yeah. You know not in any way healthy. with respect, that's not very downton. You know, it's never like dinging a ling. Print out the news from today from the internet at a bowl of crave, please No, I know. she should be having like something much more respectable, like lemon curd on toast or something. A pheasant.. A pheasant. Yes, exactly. Kedgery. I can't imagine yeah, I'm not making cedgery in the morning. I don't eat breakfast really.ot a big breakfast person. I'd just rather have a cup of tea. Wow. So yeah, there's not a lot going on in that sense in the morning. I'll know in the future if I ever read one of your recipes that's a breakfast based one I'll be like, this is bullshit. I' never made that in her life. Take one bowl from the cupboard. open the crave Add meal and serve. preparation time, forty five minutes. All right, so she's eating her crape. Do you sit with her with your tea? and that's a nice moment? or you gettingry? And then what their recipe needs is the full page story of when I was a child, my grandmother would bring me a bowl of crave every morning We've literally got to read their entire autobiography before we gets a frickaking recipe. I think Crave is a bit. I mean Crave, it sort of has addiction connotations., doesnn't it? Yeah does she crave Crave? She's al right with the Weerix as well? Okay The little one should be called binge, I think It's hard to mainline crave, isn't it? It's hard to like inject sugar puffps. Smash it up into crave. Yeah, yeah that's true. You could do that. That would be such an edgy breakfast cereal. We have to smash it up and inhale it through your nose in l. Lids of crave. Great. you're just there at your tea. I'm there in the tea. You stand in the corner of the room like the butler and mountain You're watching the expression on her face as the first spoonful of crave goes in and then she just nods and you stare up in displays. Yeah, yeah, doeses it please you, madam? No I just leave her in there and go and have my cupoard eittating bed with the dog. She's quite happy. She doesn't want to have a conversation in the morning. She needs time to wake up, as do I, so it's okay, you just leave her to it Although I might start doing the Downton Appy thing I just really freak out. Yeah. Do you start doom scrolling at this stage or you just in bed with the tea and the dog? I might put something on the telly. Well it's only yesterday, Brian, I hate to be a stickler about this. So yesterday I turned on Disney plus.. I like to have a show where I can just kind of like not think about it. So at the minute it's nine hundred eleven So I've gone through nine and eleven and nine hundred eleven Nashville. I'm now on nine hundred and eleven Lone star. So I watched an episode of that, which is Rob Lowe. Haven't seen him in anything in a while. What's Rob Lowe doing in this? He's firefighting with his son and A Nppo baby, fireman Yeah. So I watch a bit of that, but I do doom scroll at the same time. I do checkinsta. Could you tell us what happened in yesterday's nine hundred ele Lone star. Oh, there was definitely a fire. Okay, right. They're just back at the station. They go around schools and they're doing a demo and they got a kite out of a tree. Yeah. The worst episode. It was a night shift and they all just no calls. They just slept. Well he's got a second job as a plumber. He got his rods and he's doing stuff on the side for Pibaco plumbers proble doing nothing as a fireman. This is great. So what you need is a bit of background tellelly. Yeah, so I watch that and then yeah, I check my because basically I've turned off my notifications on my phone for TikTok and Instagram. So it means I have to go on to check if anything's happened. Right I kind of thought it would be better, but I'm not sure it's actually helping at all. So I went on my Instagram to check notifications and I went on my TikTok and did a bit of doom scrolling whilst I drink my tea with Roblo one in the background. Have you gone viral during the night Brownie? Has something exploded unexpectedly? many things. I have been doing a series recently of testing viral recipes to see if they actually taste good. L the really random shit, you know? Oh, I like that stuff. you know, and it's always get six tons of cheese, mce, a whole onion, skin on, a whole jar of peanut areyo. putut it in a George foreman, leave it two hours and it'll be absolute delicious. Its the best itner you've ever had in your life. Yeah, basically, that's it. So there's one that I did which was You had to blend cauliflower with melted chocolate and this woman's on there saying it tastes like fudge tastes like Fs, tastes like stinky feet and fx. It was disgusting. So when I woke up yesterday I checked on one that I did about hummus scones. All right, whichich is literally hummus. Yeah. self raising flour Mix them together to make a dough, cut them into four, bake it. honestly, nicest thing ever. So nice. I think it could be good thenough. If you don't like hummus, it's not the one for you. but if you like hummus I'm telling you. If you like hummus it the scones this is Max, I'm telling you. Look, I guess it is chickpeas and what? olive oil, but I don't like the idea of loads of olive oil and a scon. But then again, I guess what is the scon if not just loads of butter? So I guess' chewing one for the other. I mean, if you're a traditionalist, then you know Yeah, then it's not going to be the one. With a hummmer scone, it's cream then jam with a Bababag Gunush scone, it is jam and cream and you must not. make the mistake. No, God forbid. I might make a tteramasalatascon. Oh Well, I'm not interested. That is a terrible idea. A they right? Welcome discuss things. And then I was reading some comments and one woman told me that I was overacting and that I wasn't like that on Bak off. So that was nice. Then a few comments underneath being like Francces, calm down. she's making her mascones I see it's interesting because like most of my world is football and that is quite tribal and angsty. But I would have thought the below the line scon making world. People aren't like you plastic fuck. Shove it up your eyas. Sove your sho up your eyas. Tell you what, the world of baking is brutal. Is it? People get really upset. I got once got told that I should be put in jail for using a wrap instead of pastry on a sausage roll. And that was a genuine comment. I would ask what sentence are you suggesting this Suspended sentence Is it an open prison? It's fully rock breaking, you know what I mean? That's what they were. Full shore shhank vibes to it. One of those prisons in Central America you have to join a gang. And then you have a tattoo of a scone on your face. I might a rarap. That's it. It's a bleak moment in the yard on the first day. someomeone finally asks you, what are you in for? 'cause the other guy's in for like he blew up a drug cartel. and you put a rarap on a sausage thenen like you become the chef of the prison And everybody loves you and then they all become chefs. I like the story. Then you escape using like a tiny pastry cutter. A tiny pastry cutter. little pastry brush to gradually brush away the wall. It would take so long. It would take so long. And then other other famous chefs you get them to visit you and like Hugh Ferny Wigenstall has like shoved. He's got like a massive plastic bag of hundreds and thousands up his ass and he comes in They're smuggly ingredients in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah There's Jordan Ramson. a kilo of butter This is awful stuff. So Brian, my issue here is watching nine hundred eleven Loneestar, it's possibly too early in the day as in, although because you know, breakfast television tends to be reasonably bland. But there again, around half nine, you do get those shows that are like cowboy buildilder type shows that are quite tense because it's the boald guy Who's driving around to tell you that your extension' shit? Well we had who was it? Was it Sz Kemflner watchatched like two episodes of East Enders? Someone was. Right at the start of the day, like first thing. before she went out on a horse. Yeah, that was wild. It didn't get my adrenaline going. Okay. I don't know if that's a reflection on Roblow's acting or o The fact that I wasn't paying closeer of attention, it might be the antidepressants. I don't know, It didn't sort of really get me going. You hear Nora starting to bounce into action now post crave. You know, are things starting to happen Yeah I'll generally hear a mumy when she's finished. And then I go in and I'm like, right, two minutes, then it's time to brush her teeth and then she jumps into action. She's very good. She does listen. I'll say, right seven thirty, seven thirty five. Yeah It's teeth time and she will listen. I don't have to tell her again So then she'll jump into action, as will I although I often will drop her off. So yesterday I did drop her off. in what was essentially my pajamas. Yeah great. kn. Are you in the car right now or you I know I do actually walk her up to the door, but I had black trousers and a sort of t shirt that could. you're not in Thomas the Tank engine pajamas so it's not okay..ike I've changed my pants and put Dijant ony Yeah, yeah, budny yeah. And I also yesterday I took cakes in for the staff at the school. Everyone was so distracted. the other parents must hate you You're a hatred. They're all there Shit cakes, you wondering, Ga? Yeah. justust made some other cakes. Oh it's so hard when you're trying to get the sixth tier on the cake you've made for the principal, Isn't it otherther parent? Nora' in the top set for French issue?, I just have. Nothing to do with the raspberry crumple muffins I made and handed to the headmistress yesterday. Sheust got a place at Princeton. I don't know that happened. She's only ten Oh, you got to use what you can, you know? Yeah Fair enough Okay, so nothing's happened between. We're at drop off now. They're sort of pretty seamless. Yeah, nothing much has happened in between there other than getting Nora into the car. We need to check because it could be like somethingd like you did a bank robbery on your way to school like perfect crime and you're trying to leave that out. That's why we're as cleorough as we are right. That was actually the day before yesterday like to include that so No, nothing exciting. We left the house with the cakes Drove to drop off Doould you listen to the radio and brereakfast S show? What's Nora want on the? So Nora does have control in the car of DJing because we like the same music. So yesterday she put on What did you do yesterday? She loves this pi. She loves it. literally can't get about ten year old. But before she put that on, she put o Monster High, Monster High. Yeah. someome of the music from that Which I don't mind. I' kind of I quite like shit music, so yeah, you shouldn pray. Tell them and they can put that on the album. I quite like shit music. As's a testonialQuite like shit music. this works for me. Do what someone said to me once? They said, Oh my go, I love you want on escapes to the country. And I said, Oh, thanks so much. They went, Yeah, I just really love shit TV. Cool than. That happens so often with this podcast. It's like I was listening to it as I had dysentery. You know what I mean What I do love is Max's football podcast. People listen to it quite a lot while they're having their tubes tied Oh yeah, it's huge v heectomies. Really? Vectomy is absolutely massive and car crashhing Someone had a complete write off. the whole car was written off. It was amazing. they survived. But were you still playing? We still playing in the sort burning, you know exploding, say IB through or whatever it was. All right, so we do drop off and now we're free, Briie. What are we gonna do? So I'm free. so I went for a swim because good stuff. I love a swim I only learnt to swim two years ago I couldn't swim before then more than sort a few meters and even that was a bit doggy paddle slash drowning. Was it weird to have swimming lessons as an adult? Were you in with like five girls? Stopp me in a load of toddler. ten meter badge. Yeah ye Oh no, I never got a badge. Yeah, it was basically I went on a Saturday morning at my local leisure center and it was me and a very eclectic group of adults. and then a sixteen year old instructor. Oh so good. At any point, because we did laser tag a few years ago. We were probably all in our thirties actually and the instructor was fifteen or sixteen and was like, actually did a full on. You'll need to be quiet. You, what did I just say L fully it. And we were loving it so much. Was the sixteen year old intimidated by the grown ups? Couldn't care less. That was their Saturday morning job helping these bunch of random grown ups not drown And you know what? it was quite amazing though because it gave me the confidence to the fact that there were other adults you know They also couldn't swim. And yeah, it was amazing. So it was like over a couple of months. that combined with a bit of TikTok advice. Yeah. And then yeah, so now I swim a couple of times a week. So I went for a swim yesterday, which I love Middle lane breaststroke, here we go. Okay, so I go as my treat to myself. I joined David Lloyd a few years ago.. They have an outdoor pool, which is my happy place. Like I really want to be one of those people who like jump into the sea or a river or something, but I'm just not that person. So I want to jump into the heated outdoor pool David Lloyd. So I go there a couple of times a week and I do my swimming with all the old ladies in the outdoor pool Jane sharac to Jane, she was there yesterday. and it's just one of my happy places. So I swam there for about half an hour. Do you have a swimming hat that's got sort of bubble wrap type stuff on it and a big pink flower to the side? Are you one of those ladies whose face somehow never gets wet and they just do this really slow backstrokke? I go all in. I go in. I've got an extra large swimming hat because I have an abnormally large head. Thank you. have a hat that's normal. It head's enormous too. Have you got a big hat too? Yeah,sacing so far back He's six miles from the camera we can still see his head I can't wear a normal swimming caps, it just does that thing where it pings off like you try and pull it down just goes You have to wear a hot air balloon. Yeah, essentially that's what it is. ye. Yeahah h It's for people who have dreadlocks. It's actually that on Amazon.. And yeah I have to wear that. and when I pull it on, I look like an alien because it just goes absolutely enormous. And then I pull it down and then I've got goggles and a nose clip So I'm fully what do we do? What we do it Whatast stroke? Bast stroke. I can't do anything else. That's all I can do. So I can never time So a few years ago, Daniel Kitson and I went for a swim. we were doing a festival somewhere and he learned to swim properly and he critiqued my strokes are a joke basically. So with my breaststroke, I miss time the arm movement with the fish kick and it turns out if I can time them right, I go twice as fast Whereas what I do is have them so they're basically acting against each other. You know what I mean? So I sorted two steps forward, one step back. That's how we got out the pro. And that's how I always thought it was. I thought you did it at the same time like a frog, you know? Yeah. But actually, that's what TikTok taught me is that you don't do that. It's like you do the arms, then you breathe, then you kick and then you glide And then arms breathe kick glide. Once I started doing that, I was like Now it's a posh David Lloyd Is it got a saun or and a jacuzi and all that stuff? It's just been upgraded over the last few months. So we're like top tier David Lloyd now. It's very exciting. To the listeners, someone opened up to me recently about this. this really complicated stuff. to our American listeners, there is a chain of health clubs in Britain and Ireland And you basically get a tier level in them and that entitles you to attend other David Lloyds of that tier. Isn't that the deal? Yeah. ye. You only have the basic package. There's ones where they're like, this is not for you. Shit David Lloyds can only go to shit David Lloyd. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So we used to be a shitter David Lloyd, but now we've been upgraded I can go to all the nice differentides. Okay, so after I swim, do you go what's your saauna steam room jacuzzi I don't like saunas or steam rooms. This new spa's a bit lost on me, I will go and sit in the little outdoor spa pool And you did that yesterday. And I did that yesterday. justust was ten, fifteen minutes. Got it. And then I went and had a shower and then left. Interruption hit me Bie, does it wreak havoc with your splendid hair? Once you take the hat off, does the action of the heat from the pool you were sitting in cause it to goo up like a bush, a biblical bush you know what? It's actually not too bad. The hat does obviously protect it while I'm swimming. Yeah. And then the heat from the pool I think is the mside maybe and it's a bit cooler in the air. Okay ye. It's not too bad. So by the time I leave David Lloyd, It's not twice the size, so it's normally not too shabby. Where are we off to now, Bronie? It was a day off yesterday, a rare day off. So I went to get my nails done, which is what I do every couple of weeks. Oh, how what a day this is? Sorry, I'm so sorry. I need to go back one more. Sure. How do you know you've done enough swimming? This is a problem. When I go for a swim, sometimes I put on the tgs And I'm like get in the water and I'm so happy that I've gone to the pool I sort of slosh backwards and forwards a few times and think, that's it. Whereas I know people who like, I'm swimming a kilometer and they calculate how many lengths that would be. Yeah, I do twenty lengths, twenty to thirtyengths depending on the day. Okay and then I'm done. Yeah. There's some people who get in there and they're there like ages But I'm like twenty to thirty. thirty meter pool, probably, so it's probably about six hundred meters that you're doing fine. And that's kind of yeah, that's about my limit. and then I'm like, I'm done. Yeah. 'cause I don't wantan to do it to the point where I'm not enjoying it anymore Yeah, I do find it insanely boring. I think it's great because I haven't got my phone. this is good. I'm floating, everything is nice and after about a length, I'm not It's not painful enough to feel that exercise like running. I'm just bobbing around And there's normally like You're trying to get a lane where there's no one in it and like there's someone too fast in the fast lane. So that's out and there's like somebody who is three hundred and fifty years old, good for them. The slow lane is basically now a standstill. You know, that's just like roadworks. You slim directly up in old ladiess but ye you're now wearing her like a sort of mythological bef of some gu I'll tell something they'll stress you out even more in the outdoor pool. There are no lanes. W, well, that's just ridiculous. Yeah. So you've just got to kind of finder space. It's you just beating a man with a pool noodle and you put someone near the door to see if the security guard is coming back. It's full primary school vibes de. Honestly, it's like the hunger games, It's vicious Dunk and octogenarian so they can't breathe. Yeah Jane Im a g. She thought we were friend. Waterboarded Jane. She's no longer with us. But she had a good run. Okay, so we're now getting our nails done. Okay, this is good because I'm gonna confess on it to you, Brie. I I am not well versed on beyond cutting my nails, which I don't enjoy if I do do. I'm an open book. Lift the lid, Bronie. Lift the lid. Well, I mean, I love getting my nails done. I'll show you in the camera. They're quite jazzy. Oh, yeah they are. They're like neon and animal print So I go over to a lady called Steph over the other side of Bristol who is a genius in the nail department. I can literally show her any picture and she'll be able to copy it. Wow. If you gave her a picture of Mel Gibson, could she? Yeah. Yeah, honestly, she'd be able to differentere rolls of different films of. Yeah Yeah Lethal weapon one, two, three on over the. Gyfart The Christ, the weird Christ one I mean, I'll talk to her about it. if you guys are interested. Also totally unreferenced. if someone said, What's that? Is that Mel Gibson, just go, Yeah. Yeah. And they say by. You just give no reasoning at all, but your nails have always got the films of Mel Gibson on them. So I go in and she's basically like a therapist as well. She's only in her early twenties and I just offload all of. All of my problems onto her. Probably cheaper than theray, isn't it? It's like It is for me because I get a half price manicule because I've only got one hand. so one of the many bonuses of having one hand is fifty percent of your manicule. Surely not. You don't get fifty percent. Yeah. I mean, it probably should be like forty percent because I've got a thumb on my left hand, but she's good to me Steph. so she gives me the full fifty percent off If she' just charged n rate, would you say? Yeah, I have said that before. I've been I said to one place I went to, I was like, is it really full price? And she went, Yeah, it's the same amount of work. went Wow. and like fair place to someone for sticking to their gun. Yeah. she really, she wasn't having any of it. I said to one of the floor managers on Morning Live once, he said, Oh, I love your nails. I went, thanks I get them the half price. He went, Is' that 'cause you're such a big deal? I went No, it's ' I've got one hand. He was like, Hello, right here? sorry. Oh yeah. The problem is it's half priceed nails, but it's double priceed hair because you' such a mou of head., you get it. They have to get six barbers working on me all on scaffolding. L are the secondaires they say. I have been in a hairdresser once and I've had like three people blow drying my hair. It's quite something How long does this appointment take?? About half as long as everyone else. About two and a bit hours. So it's quite you know two hours. Yeah It lengthy. How how long it takes? Yeah, it is when you've got like all the nail art stuff and these aren't my actual nails. Sure. Jane from the pool, you've ripped her nails off. Yeah. The first hour, the first hour is stiff Denailing Oh God, that's awful. That' awful. F Jane. Two and a half hours. 'ause like my wife the closest my wife says, can I book a haircut on Friday? And I go fine. I always forget that that is like the whole of Friday. Yeah. And I'm like, how is this? what's happening in there? It is reminiscent slightly Max of for Max's birthday His wife got him a head massage, but I walked him to the head massage place and Brianie it looked like that wasn't the only service they provided. W a little too much neon on the sides outside. I just had this hilarious idea that he was gonna be in there and stuff was gonna to be offered to him. It's another kind of head massage. A little head. The smallest head of all And how was it, Max Well, it was traumatic but not for those reasons. I just find them quite unsettling generally. What I really want is just someone to rub my head softly. As if I'm a kitten, just somebody just rub my head. Oh wow. That makes me sound like George Gallowway, doesn't it? That'sb to spoon whiskers into my mouth. Just give me some do cat Eactly and let me shit in a little tray. Okay We all have need You do, you, babe. Well, it's two and a half hours. Yeah. So you really do offload. Do you tell her everythings the In andnights of my life. Yeah, very much. I also know the Inter nights of hers. Yeah. It's a two way street. G. She also had her kitten there yesterday. Furby who's only four months old so that was entertaining as well because there was lots of, you know, luckily I didn't take Archie because he would have tried to eat the kitten. Yeah. yeah, two and half hours ' they got to take the nails off and then put the new nails on. He wasn't given any food this morning, Brionie. Have we skipped something there? I have skipped something, sorry. yeah. when I come down, how could I forget about you, Archie? I'm sorry When I come down in the morning to make my cup of tea, I check if he's got food and water he's a grazer, which is probably not how your mena feed a dog, but we just fill up his bowl and then he eats it and then when it's empty, we topop a buck up. And you haven't eaten anything yet. Have you' been for a swim and now two and a half h?. I had a banana, sorry, I forgot about. I had a banana after my swim at David Lloyd. So we've just had a tea in a banana. I am also a grazer throughout the day. I don't eat huge amounts in one go I like There's your bowl next to the dog's bowl on. Yeah, when it's empty, I'll just top it back up. And so my nails are done and then I came home. It's bedtime. We've been there for so long What time are we roughly now? So half twelve. Great. So then I drove home. Had some food? here we go. Please I've got a big basket of chips on deliveroo. Just please undermine shots. Yeah A four toaster toaster. set at slightly different settings. is And a Russless' rib. Oh yeah, it's gotta be Rusless Microwag Russless rib. Sadly none of those because basically before I ate, I filmed another random recipe which comes from the hummuscon I've now decided to do a little minieries called Does it Sone where I take other random things and see if I could turn it into a scone. Yeah. So yesterday I filmed so I was like I'm going gonna have these for my lunch. So I filmed it. So I got some smashed avocado Fr Tesco. Yeah. Right. Hacks your face. you're like, this doesn't sound good. I think O acon, you know, I love avocado on top. In acon. I turned it into the scon. it was really good. Was it? Really good. Yeahah. I had the scon. It was super fluffy So it was literally smashed avo with self raising flour until I had a dough air fried it with a bit of milk and seeds on top and it was so super fluffy and I had cream cheese on it and ate it and it was so good. Is that just because cream cheese is nice Yeah, a great question. Also when's the Crave scan gonna come? I should do that, shouldn't I? Does it' gone? Does it's gone. Does it's gone? Avocado, yes, yes, it does. It's a limitless series. that you could do so many episodes. If you've got any random things that you want me to try and turn into a scan, Hit me up. The weirder the better. So this is interesting, like making content is a sort interesting. I'm absolutely appalling at it. But like like it's a key part of what you do, right? And so How long do you spend doing it? like how long do you spend editing it? You have a setup such that you can just do it or do you have to set up cameras? Are they already there? I literally do it all on my phone I have got this set upp in my kitchen We've got quite a big window, so there's quite a lot of natural light.. ' I've done it before, right? I've set up lights, I've set up, you know, this that and the other. I edit it, put it out on social media, it does nothing ight No No views. So I was like, do you know what Let's just see if this works. So I've just done it now where I literally put my camera on a little stand that I've got and then just film it from start to finish. Yeah. And it's all just a bit silly and me just being a bit silly in my kitchen I don't bother, you know, making sure the background's all super tidy and you know you can see the fact there's stuff up on the shelves and all that. I'm like, you know what? Did you just upload the whole thing or do you like No, I edit it Otherwise just it's probably a bit too long, but yeah, so filming wise, it probably took me about half an hour because it was quite quick. The problem with Max's content and we don't get enough of it from my liking is that he doesn't edit and he generally has one joke, which is he's walking through the streets of a clearly Australian city and he pretends he's in London You know that style, Max, where you're like there's the terms. To of my best were? I live Instagramed simmering at bologese for three hours. I just put the phone. Is that in the pandemic? Might have even been before. And then once I All my wife's like jewelry was like all tangled up. And so I spent, I said I'm just gonna untangle this live on Instagram and it took me four hours. This was before kids.ike clearly, what a dream world this was. And then somebody was like, get a pin. And then if you get a pin, it's much easier to untangle necklaces. And so I did that. And then I did a few DIY things was coming so bad. with a pencil in my ear to look like a builder. They do numbers, Max? I would say these ones may not al. I don't think I look at numbers when I'm thinking about art is what I would And that's the three hours timmeric ballidays. That's our, is it All right, so take half hour of film and then do you edit it straight away, Brian It depends. yesterday I did, I filmed because then then I ate the avocados gone. Then I edited it. and because of the way these that I've started doing these, it's quite quick to edit. Right. And I know I have to get it to around two minutes, two and a half minutes is the best one to do. But like these videos have done so much better than any of my content for years and I'm like Okay, great. So suuper peopleeople wantan to see the wird shit, and I'm okay with that. Other people have use that exact sentence in slightly more sinister ways than making a scnd. I must say Pe want to see the wirch shit and I'm okay with that. It sounds like Something somebody says to Louis Therou, doesn't it? Do you eat the scon for your lunch then? Yes. I don't like to waste food. Yeah. So I had two for my lunch and then I chopped up some lovely veg for a salad for my husband for him to have for his tea with an avocado scon as well It's an attempt to put a sort of superfood take on what is traditionally a slightly treaty thing. The scon. You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. It doesn't taste superfood though. It still tastes quite indulgent. Yeah. I need to try some sweet ones now I is thinking maybe like Nateella I could do next, like a Nateella scon. That's a superfood. I mean my definition of a superfood is anything you can buy in a supermarket I like this definition. I can work with this. Great. what are we doing after lunch then? After lunch we are taking the dog for a walk Be he's quite old now he doesn't need to go very far I keep him on the lead because he's an asshole if he's not on the lead His recall is no more. It was so good and then around COVID time He started not liking other dogs And then his recall got really bad. Did he start doing his own research into vaccinees? Andd he's gone a bit Ray wing all these loves Farage. honestly, I can't even tell you. I just take him around kind of the local area, around the block whilst I listen to my latest fairy smut book. Oh wow. Excuse me. Have you not heard this term, Max? I've not heard the term fairy smut. Yeah. It's sort of like horny fantasy that is popular Particularly with ladies, I think. Women of a certain age. Romanticy, haveave you heard that phrase? that term? No. Okay. So what happens in this fairy smart? So the one I've just finished Yeah. Oh I've just finished a series that is fourth wing and basically there's dragons in it. Nobody has sex with the dragons, just clarify. Okay. But they do have a lot of sex with each other and they're dragon riders and it's all a bit saucy, but there's also, I mean there's a bit of plot in there It's just quite easy to listen to and I can't enjoy a bit of fairy smart What's the premise of the one we are listening to yesterday? Okay, so the premise of fourth Wing is there is a lady called Violet who has joined an academy For dragon riders. R. So she's just a normal average human. Yeah, we think she's a human. And then she joins the academy. She falls in love with the bad boy. He's just a human at this day. He is also just a human, but he's a really good dragon rider. And then she has to get chosen by a dragon in order to ride said dragon She ends up being chosen sorry by interruption. That is just riding a dragon as if it were a horse. has the k it. That's not where the smart bit is. So far it's just Days of Thunder, you know ye or F one with Brad Pitt. Yeah, you know. She gets chosen by a dragon who is the mate of Zadden's dragon and then they can hear each other's thoughts And then the smut starts. Is this sexiness of bit undermined by the fact that you have to pick up a runny dog shit in a plastic bag Yes, one hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah it is yeah. I also have to be super careful about listening to it when I pull up to pick my daughter from school. You know like when someone's on the phone you can hear it outside the car. Oh yeah. D don't want to rock up and then there's like some saucy scene on my radio. Yeah and forgive me, like How How far are they going through these When these two are at it, Yeah, you getting everything? Yeah. o yeah, yeah, yeah. Think like Jillie Cooper. Are there blowies in us Oh yeah and handies. Lloe's and handies. So is Jilly Cooper with dragons? You've just taken horses and replaced horses with dragons. Yeah, essentially yeah, yeah. So basically you could just if we wanted to make a quick buck, we could just change dragons for An animal. Yeah, which they have done. There's one where they they've changed the dragons to wolves. O just camels or we can just invvent our own animals. Yeah, sure, sure sure. Heregrine Falcons. Cappy Bar. How about dragons two antiques And it's more like we're just two Sarman max are in this version. Dragons two antique dealers because we have discussed in the past Bownie our pivot as we get on a bit to being on like bargain hunt type show with the hosts, the charismatic hosts. Max in particular, I just think is made for it. Get some pink trousers and be like, I think you've picked a wonderful ceramic clot and it might make six quid if we're lucky I'll lose my shit if it does. Yeah, know this Absolutely splendid. And I'm like, Max, where's this accent come from? for that. So David, hang on what you're making us smuty antiques? I mean, I've not heard of one so far, so I think this could be your USP. We put it all in Microsoft word and we replace the word dragon with Davenport or like Oak table or something. R Okay ride the How wouldn't they ride them? those guys. I just want some clarification. One of their fantasy oak tables, these tables are moving tables. Great. Okay, No, I've got a better idea.pl fucking hope so Dav. We replace dragards with bicycles and made more Okay In line with my interests then So it's just a horny tale about a cycling team then really. Love that. And instead of taking performance enhancing drugs, they're just all on Viagra. Yeah. We smo the cour of France much harder. but more aerodynamic in a way How did you win? Oh, I see Right, Okaykay, so we listen to our porn while we're watching the dog And then what And then I go and pick up my daughter. Yeah. Okay. But we turn off the porn before we go and pick up the daughter. So yeah, go and pick her up from school. Has she had a good day? Yeah, she's had a good day. She tends not to. so yesterday, she kind of gets in the car, I say, you know, if you had a good day, yeah, great. But what she wants to do when she gets in the car is just sing along to some music before we get home I've stopped now trying to be like, how was your day? What did you do? and just let her I obviously parent everyone else now through Instagram reels.ed I saw one where I just said, you know that it'll come out later with the four year old. the one year old obviously doesn't go anywhay. The four year old, you just go, what do you want to do now and it says, playay trains and then we cycle home Yeah Be initially you are really tentpted to be like. And what did you do? and have you got any friends and is it all fine? and is everything okay? And like what do you think about the end of the atmosphere or the ozone layer and you're like I'm for. S up. I'm for it alone. Yeah I too got that advice from Instagram of not asking them straight away and it does work I think. And then she sort of started chatting away as we came into the house about how boring her scatterraphs were that she had to do today. Remind me of a scatterraph? Scatatterraph. It's like you get loads of different bits of data and then you put it on an axis on a chart and then you draw a line. That'll sounds shit. Brriie's got her daughter digging into the numbers on her reels that she's put up. like I need three scatterraphs on my desk in thirty minutes. Stat. And call it homework Yeah. Nora walks in with a sort of clipboard and saying it seems to me that a two minute fifteen scon, that is your peak performing reel at the moment. And if you see, fifteen percent were non followers, so that's interesting on the uptake. and you had eighteen link clicks. So that's exciting. thought that would be so helpful yeah. So she told me about her Scattergraphs. I was also bored even listening to that story about the Scatterraphs, so I got it.. And she got changed, she watched a bit of Telly when she gets home. What are we watching? She's watching Hannah Montana at the minute. She's got a bit retro. so she's enjoying that. less so. I like Miley Cyrus, but it's a bit much. Yeah And then I made her some tea. She had cheesy peasy pasta yesterday. Miley Cyrus. Is she I could buy myself flowers? Yes. Wow, that's quite a transformation from Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana, yeah. Yeah. interestnteresting. She's come a long way since Hannah Montana in the bllonde Wig. Yeah. And her dad, Billy Ray Crus, is also in it And I think he's quite problematic now. but anyway. he still has a heart problem, doesn't he?p And then oh yeah, I made a tea, cheesy peasy pasta, the height of oak cuisine. Great. My theory is as long as there's a vegetable in there somewhere, we're doing okay. Yeah, I' good to. A it simple. And then after that, my husband got home at six o'clock so he leaves before we wake up in the morning, so he left before we woke up in the morning. I'm gonna say this is where he appeared. He wasn't there this morning. Max, he's Santa Claus. That why the whole thing is shrouded. understand. I'll just doing lists today. Looking at lists today and I have to check them again in a little while. Would Santa Smut work as a genre or that? Oh well that I mean that whole song, you could start with Ile Mummy kissing Sant Claws. I't say he's got a lot of the year doing not doing a whole lot. Apart from Mres Claws. Exactly. Yeah A least for the day off, isn't she? on Christmasay? Shes Yes thank God Randy bastard is off out. Fally. Just on the point of food for younger people. I was hanging with my one and three quarters nephew yesterday I was in the back of the car with him because my older brother got to sit in the front with the driver. He had a thing in a box like it was one of these buy it at the shop for babies. They wereall like cheese, maize, sticks or something. And then I pulled them out and they were just watzts. They were just long watzts. And I can't imagine they're of much nutritional value to anyone. But like from the outside, I was thinking, oh, it'll be, you know high calorie baby food like you'd get in a jar And then it was just a cheesy air essentially. Cheesy air. Literally, that's all it is. If you just go like this, it just poof into nothing. You might as well just lower his head into an Amazon package that has those sort of protective little maggots around it. maggots. Cheesy air is very good. Luckily we're beyond cheesy air now we've moved ont too cheesy peasy pasta ere are we now? We've had the pasta. We've watched the TV. his husband's arrived home. He's got a salad. He gets a salad yeah. So husband is a software engineer, so he spent all day looking at scatterraphs. Whuff? Scraphs. Scatterraphs, ye. And spreadsheets. Is he worried about AI? usses AI quite a lot. I know, but is one day the AI going to be like, I'm sorry You can go home. You know, Yeah, I feel with the things that we do Although I guess A I will be able to do podcasts like this pretty soon as well. I don't think they'd have done the bit about you only went stalk, smuggling hundred thousand to prison but. Or shhagging Santa. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Yeahet he started talking about Claude the other day and I was like Wh who's Claude Is this a new colleague? He was like, AI colleague I? They're coming, the robots. I hate it I hate it. But I also like it and you're listening AI guys.. Yeah, don't cancel us AI. All right, so he's had a nice day,'s fine. Yeah, he's had a good day. He's come in, has a nice chat, Nora kind of grunts at him a little bit, but eventually sort of you know, warms up And then Nora and Steve, that's Hubby, they took Archk for another walk because they do that every evening, which is a really nice things that they do together. The dog just doesn't like it when if he hears anyone not speaking English, even if he hears people speaking French whenever pass a hotel, he's just shaking his head. And then then they came back And then they did Nora's homework together. How are you with that now? I mean, I used to be a secondary school teacher. Of course. I taught French and Spanish, so dog hates you. The dog hates me like Jesus here is this liberal wokeive Five words, Bonie, C you do long divisions You know up until ten, the maths is fairly straightforward, but then I feel long division is the gateway to a realm of X and Y and all of these things. I hate it. I hate, I can't do it. It hurts my brain. I'm also like perimenopausal so everything's hard. so I can't remember you know, what I did earlier in the morning. so I certainly can't remember how to do long division. But my husband is really good at maths. If it's maths homework, I'm like You're in. Whereas if it's kind of English or I can do a bit of science depending what it is, like English or anything like that, I can help. But Perect parents there What are you doing? Well they go for a walk and then Steve does the homework. I make a cup of tea, watch the nine hundred eleven. Yeah. I posted some content of The day before when I went to see JVN's comedy night and then I try to reply to comments quickly because apparently that's quite good. Is it o? Max, I've been told to do that with stuff that we put up The first comment will just be like, you've got a massive head and I know that I have to respond to it. so I'll just be like, Cheers and six emotions. Is that right? I wast across this. Okay. You're meant to respond to the first few that come in. Yeah. Apparently it helps with engagement or something. I don't know. I'll do my best. don't really know what I'm doing, so I'll just give it a whirl And then they got back from the war And I start getting ready for bed. I go to bed really early As in like I'm in bed tucked up at like eight o'clock. That's so great That is so great. I mean, during this seven day solo parenting unless I'm doing one of these, unless I'm forced to stay awake to talk to people like you. Sorry about that. Sorry You're not included, David. I've been in bed, you know, as soon as Ian is down, I'm in bed seven hundred forty five. I'm like Ban, it's still bright out. I know, that's even better when it's light outside and I'm in bed. I'm like, yes Amazing. This is so good. Love it so much. I love bed so I get into bed and then Steve and Nora watched, I think some Taskmaster last night. They love a bit Taskmaster And then I listened to an audiob book. I listened to some more smmarts. A yeah. A we still fantasy Dragon Smart? No, what was I listening to? Oh it's quite a funny book by Cive McDonald, who's an Irish audior. Y Yes. Do you know him? Well Yeah, Chris Addison is making has filmed a TV series in Ireland. Is it the Dublin trilogy? I think so Be we did Chris Addison on this a few weeks ago and he's directing, I think a new series of it now too. So yeah. I love CQuave MacDonald. and he's got another few books as well that are more kind of paranormal O Smart Paranormal, smart Max. No, no, no smart. There's no smart this. No smart. No. Just really, really funny. C he's so funny, like his books are hilarious And I'm on, I don't know, The Dublin trilogy is now like eight books long. I think this is like book number eight. so I'm listening to that at the minute and it just it's so good. and the narrator because I'm an audiobook girl through and through, the narrator is superb. Yeah, I listened to like half h now, forty five minutes of that and that's the end of my day. I could do that. I'd be good I'd be good ating audiobooks. It'd be so good. You have to be really good at reading is the only problem though. can't read. You can't read. okay. No, no, no. I can read, but I do the time I have written some books and in recording the audiobooks of them, yeah, there's a moment where you make six mistakes in the first paragraph And you look through the little window at everyone in the room and they're like, sweet mother of divine Jesus. we're gonna be here for three years. Whereas I think you need total The ability to read, I'm happy enough getting the gist of sentences as I'm reading, I think, as opposed to hitting every word perfectly. How do you get, what's your technique for getting to sleep? Do you nod off with this playing in your ears? Yeah. So I go one, I wear silicon earplugs because I hate the sound of anything, especially if my husband's breathing near me, that's upsetting And not his fault, not his fault.' important he carries that on. It is, yeah. I do quite like him. And so a siliconir plug in one, airPod in the other and then I listen to that for kind of half an hour, for twelve minutes and then I turn it off and that usually will get me to sleep. Yeah I can't get to sleep, I'll listen to it for a bit longer. And then my husband will get into bed about half nine ten and be asleep within sixty seconds, which is incredibly frustrating. Yeah. And the dog is just like, Britain's not working. Doug look at him Look at it with was bowtie. He's so L Union Jack bowtie. Yeah, exactly, yeah It's like you love Nigel no and you do. But Honestly, we need to educate you a bit better Brianie May Williams, thank you so much for telling us what you did yesterday. Oh, thank you for listening. It's been a pleasure Brnieay Williams, What a lovely day and I'm a huge fan of What I like about these podcasts is people don't seem to mind when it's one hour forty one. But it's really nice to have her. And then I went to bed at eight o'clock ot. And then I went and played shuffleboard with It's true Daniel Kitchen at two in the morning, you know, Yeah, the broken minded people that we normally speak to on this, the whole thing's only getting going at eight o'clock. We weren't too dismissive of the swim because she had just presented it as a nice thing and then we kind of went back into it. and you posited the theory that it's in fact the most boring thing in the world