Radio Interview and Past Failures

ACAS powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend What if you laughed all through your commute? orr if you heard the funniest story while at the gym? Well now you can. I'm Jamita Jramill and guests on my new podcast Wrong Turns share their most mortifying and hilarious disaster stories. I'm talking people like May Martin, Bob the Drag Queen, Catherine Ryan, Jake Johnson, Margaret Cho, Simon Pegg, Pen Badgeley, and so many more. So listen wherever you get your podcast Rom turns, where dignity goes to die. ACast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast. com You know, recommendations can be great. Maybe someone recommended this podcast, and here you are But home projects are different. If a podcast isn't your thing, you lose a few minutes. If you hire your cousin's neighbor to mount your TV, you might end up with a lopsided screen and wall damage. Maybe I know a guy just isn't enough for your home That's why Thumbtack works. It matches you with top rated local pros with photos, reviews, and credentials all in one place. For your next home project, try Thumb Tack. Hire the R Pro today. Podcast powers the world's best podcasts Here's a show that we recommend Hello American podcast, listeners., Max Roon here from the Guardian Football We week, which I think you should give a listen. It is good. It comes out three times a week and the podcast delivers you analysis, news, both the good and the bad from the beautiful game, and maybe even the occasional laugh He's angry about everything. He doesn't have a great poker face, doesnt he? I would like to play cards with Runo Fernando. You can listen to the Guardian Football Weekly, wherever you get your podcasts. Hopefully see you soon ACast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast. com There are millions of them. Some might say too many? I have one already. I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, businessiness, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We'll try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday? yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday, Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Nope, the greatest and most interesting day of your life unless it was yesterday We don't want to know about it I'm Max Rushton, and I'm David O'Dar Hervey. Welcome to What did You do yesterday. Hello and welcome to What D You Yesday My name is Max Ruson, alongside me, David O'doherty. Wlcome David Genuine Max booking Although Max booking. Yeah. Are you saying you could have booked it? That's what I'm hearing there. I'm saying Dan Tiired is a friend of mine, a wonderful fellow who yesterday happened to be on your sports radio show And you again, we cover Hugh Grant and how you have once again failed to book him. Hugh is thinking about things, right? He's just waiting for the perfect day. That's what he said to me Don is I think I do describe people as unique too much, but it is so appropriate with him. He just has an energy that is unlike anyone else that I could think of As comes across in this, I mean there's a chaos. There's an air of chaos which is so good. Isn't it? But there's a real self awareness of the chaos, I think that's fair to say. You know all the chat about the diary of a CEO episodes and how yes, the two glasses of wine ruined is week or whatever. This is very much the antithesis of that Please check out Dan's stand up comedy work. He will be doing the Edinburgh frringe with a show calledQuartz and all that's on at half ten for the whole run and then doing an autumn and a winter tour Nothing else really to say, Max, except Please enjoy. except we are now in series four, I believe and we do have our new fan club, you don't want to call that a fan club. We haven't worked out what to call it. And by the time this goes out You will be available. You can join and get the bonus content. but at the time of recording, we don't really know how you do that This is the worst. Sometimes I throw to you thinkinking such an experienced broadcaster will know how to get ac, whatever I'm really excited about. this is hat yet recorded the bit where we officially announceced the fan club. And so we're not exactly sure, but we're really excited about it Guinely and we'd love you to it's like the center of the center of the known universe. Y. We understand if you don't want to, and that's also fine. You get to get all the stuff that we've given you freeloaders. But if you'd like to join us on our journey to the center of the center of the universe, we'd love to just get more than the rest is history. Yeah, that's all we are. That's all we want But yeah, this is more importantly, this is what Dan Tiianan did yesterday Dan Tan and welcome to what did you Y yesterday? Oh hello. Hello. Dan's been one of my best friends in comedy Yeah I'm gonna say maybe twenty seven hours. I'm gonna go. Yeah Well, I've known down for a fair while and you will sense a great tension between us because I started in this game before Dan Tiirnan was on baby bottles And I had the biggest head in comedy for certainly twenty years. And then this guy comes along. I don't know exactly if your head's bigger than mine I think it definitely is. I think it probably was when I was on baby bottles Now the thing about my head, if I may, I've done a lot of head contests in my time that s. Okay. Yeah. No, like a lot of my friends have big heads. reallyally? My friendsith have massive heads or tiny heads and we found ourselves five in the morning Take measure out. Let's measure everyone's head I'm always the front runner. Now, I have a very wide head My friend Ruben has a very long head. Okay. He gets away with it. His head is actually bigger circumference than mine I told him that if his head was a venue it would be bad for comedy because it's very long and tall My head like Laster Square theatre. It's very wide, shallow, no ceiling. Now, what I want to know is because I went on a long mission to once to get Sam Allardys's head measured. Yeah. And we eventually got one of his players, James Coonllins to measure the size of his head, But it was an antilimax because we didn't know how big a head is. since you've spent a long time measuring How big are you on Rubens's I don't have the data. That's okay. I understand. I don't have the data. I'd say in my friendship group outside of like comedy, the free Behind me, Ruben, Padi Hanger, I've got the biggest heads and they're big Yeah, Patdy got called a trophy at school because he's got really big ears and a really good like the FA Cup. Yeah ye Yeah exactly. He does. he looks like the FA cup to be fair I reckon let's find out average and double up and we're probably around. I'm also interested in so yeah, sure. you've got the wide head. I feel I've got good depth and reasonable girth but like the apolla. Yeah. But then we come to area is what we're talking about You know, I'm primarily an educator. so I like to bring in Max, you've got a qualification of mathematics, don't you? Can you remember the area of a sphere an area or volume Well, area is volume, isn't it? Area is a two dimensional thing and volume is a three dimensional. This is the most intelligent I've ever snounded. And we got some coloring books or a toy I can play with I you. All we need to do is the next time me and Dad are together and we'll stop talking about our heads now. So we need plastercasts of our heads and then like Archedes in his bath to see how much water you can pour into the perfect mold. the head. So that's the real question. Yeah, that is. How much water can you get in your head? Well let me tell you, as a deeply dehydrated man, not very much. It's deceiving how little water is in this head, I'll tell you. Bs get this started. G this We can just talk about our heads, I reckon What time did you wake up yesterday morning, please D Okay.. We're in. We're in. Wow. Let me rephrace that with one I didn't know I was doing this podcast until later on in the day. Yeah comeome on. I stayed up very late writing. I was doing Talks sport with Max and Charlie at two PM And I reckon I got up at midday. I'd stang up Yeah. Love that. That might be our latest wake up. Shimali was eleven AM, I think. Midday. That's. Let me be honest, that is not uncommon at all. L And if I didn't have talkalkspot, I would have very likely been later. Wow. easily. normally I've been up for eight hours h. seven hours with the children Now Do you feel BeCause if I wake up at midday, it's only when I'm jetlag, I feel absolutely terrible. Do you feel good? Do you wake up and you go midday's the morning. I'm alive. It's the morning. Being it's the afternoon. Wow, this day like that. No, no, no no, I don't feel great I I don't know if that's to do with the time. I don't think I feel great whenever I wake up But that sounds bleak than it is People say I'm not a morning person. I definitely I'm my lowest first think. I wake up and I'm like, ah, fuck, you know. I would' have set my alarm for twelve. likeike I'll have stayed up I think yesterday I felt fine because I'd been doing something productive, because I'd stayed up writing on my show. I'm like and I got like I got like seven hours. It's more if I sleep more than eight hours, then I'm like you lazy fucking pick like I mean, I suppose if you're not a morning person, one of the greatest ways is to just not be awake until the afternoon. So midday is like, well, I'm not the morning person. You skip just skip the morning. I've been getting away with it for years. Yeah, yeah. like you can do it. Yeah. it's one of the few jobs This and owl are the only two jobs that really lend itself. Also another job that involves having a big head as well. yeah. And security guards, they have big heads as well. Bouncers. they Maybe we crack something here. Maybe big heads are better than the even but bouncers are to get the head out of bed. Bouncers are always one big head, one tiny head. I don't know that is the bouncer.. It's a classic big b littleittle manan partnership You it's the tiny head you wantan to be scared of, I think. Of course, of course. So we've woken is your im mmediate thought to put some food and nutrition into this beautiful system? Oh God, I shouldn't have done this bodcast. Given your reaction to me waking up at twelve. I thought I'm in real trouble there No, God, no, I don't eat in the first part of the day really ever. This is crazy. People think I'm lying about this. I will not eat all day and then in the evening I'll go, Oh my God, I haven't eaten and I'm going to die I'm deeply unhealthy. So I wake up, I want a coffee and a cigarette. They're the two things I want Did we get? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, that's why I was five minutes late for your talk sport because I wass getting my coffee. Coffee cigarette And then s so much to do I've got a gig this se, I've got so much to do and then Day just slips away with me kind of. Panicking not knowing what to attack, what to do That's of how I live my life and then I feel like I'm gonna die and I eat. Wow, real spoiler alert there. I was a little different. So not too much of a spoiler. We need to break this down chronologically. We've woken up at twelve. We want a cigarette and a coffee Would you just light up a smoke then? notot in your bedside table? No way. No way I hate smoking inside and fact It's just funny for me to get on my high horse after that. That's look disgusting. This is that. My man has to have rules for goodness sake. Do you think everyone does this honestly? Because yesterday, like when I found out I was doing this podcast, I knew I would be completely honest about Yeah, what I did. Yeah, We think so. That made me feel like you two were watching me Yeah, because I knew I would tell you exactly what happened You know, I reckon some people have woken up later You know, you said Jamali was eleven. I wouldn't be surprised if that was one, you know. not back a couple of hours. Like when you tell the doctor how much you drink, I' going on Oh no no, I think it was half twelve See we just get the truth out of people. We just get the trh we don't even have to ask questions. Yeah Max as a doctor I know as a fully qualified doctor as I am, I do know that when anyone says anything, you multiply it by two. So He's going to go ahead for two coffees and two smokes now in a minute. So I just need to get the timeline, Dan. So it's midday. so dress straight away Cigarette, no time for coffee in the house shower then panic, panic, trying to remember what I'm doing in the day. Whoa,'veone out a cigarette and then back in going out on the street or a little gard? Great question. I have a balcony A cigarette balcony. I've only lived here for I think just over six months dream of mine to have a balcony And it does make it very difficult to quit smoking. already very hard, but I have never had a better smoking spot in my life. Actually, I have in Melbourne Festival, me and D we were there together we weren't staying in the same room. I had a balcony that looked over the whole CBD, which was up there, but this My balcony, you've got Arsenal Ground, you've got the Emirates right there. Wow. You've got the shard, you can see the London eye, you've got London and it's a wraparound balcony.. Did the estate agent say when they showed you around the flat did they say and it've got a wonderful smoking balcony? Is that what it called? It says, you know, features smoking balcony. Wow, I live with Metia Bella Hull who already lived here and she very much did say it has got a wonderful smoking balcony because she knew that would be a sth. What I've got from this Max, just with the Emirates thing, Dan's doing pretty well. He lives in a corporate box in the Emirates. And the reason I know this is sometimes if it's an early kickoff if Arist and are playing spurs or something, the camera will pan up And it's just him and his undies just having a smoke as he looks down. he go looking really pissed off. Live it. If it is a midday kickoff, they just say the kickoff' been deled because Dan hasn't got up yet. We don't want to wake him.. We're just doing kickups, they wait. everyveryone's gonna be quiet sh everybody quiet. I reckon they give me an applause. They see me up and there's one of those light applauses Like when you see someone warming up on the subs bench and they li, it's not completely seamless that Okay, hang on. I have a question there. Do you just go out in your sleeping gear to have the smoke? or is it a balcony you need to dress up for depends who is in the flat, I would say. So if I cons sense pretty early on the flat's empty, then we're talking weather So if the flat is completely empty, I'll go t shirt and boxes on the balcony If there's people in If it's like any of my flatmates boyfriends are in we don't know each of them well enough. Im putting a dressing going on in that scenario. Yeah. What were we yesterday Like I say, yesterday was definitely panic. so It will have been exercise shorts and a t shirt, I reckon. No sort. Yeah, the weather was bad as well I said say, And what's our coffee then? Is our coffee just ct on or are we getting dressed and going to a nice cafe? There's a really nice spot on the way to Arsenal Tube station. Oh Let me just check It's one of those coffee shops that doesn't have like any real signage and it kind of like open a pathetic amount of hours where you're like, how do you make any money? Well, I say that, it probably opens very early in the morning. I'll just realize, yeah and I don't go past it at that time. So yeah, head opens three hours. They're the hours I'm awake, right. Sit Gillesp's near Arsenal Tube station So I normally go there after I've left bit of a nob about coffee. Oh welcome. I wouldn'torm only talk about it. It's not like I'm have an interest in it. I just I like to have like a nice cup of coffee first thing cent Are you still in the workout gear? And just so you know and please don't correct me. In my mind, when you say workout gear, I'm imagining a singlet and fluorescent green cycling shorts that you've got out of the spke. What's a singlet? A vest, a vest. No vest. I'm not I don't do vests. They suit my character, but I just don't find them comfortable some about the armpit, the air on the armpits is not forming. Yeah, yeah, it's flappy, isn't it? I think you have to really have like quite for pes to really feel like you're finding a vest and that is not me.ike I never really I try not to judge people on their fashion, but when my mates wear vestts, I can't explain that. Even if they're just in their house, I find it rude. I don't know why. I'm just like who do you think you are? L like wearing that I don't know. I could see If I was a barista, okay, maybe my look then, I'd have a sort of beanie that sat at the back of my head and a vest and maybe dungarees over it. You know, I think that would be my barista look. Well Well this is absolutely what they werear at Gillpsys the place I knew it just from the vibe. You've got dressed, you've gone to Gillesp'. Well first what I've done is I'll go write what am' doing today shit, shit, shit and I won't reveal that because it's spoilers But then I'm like, right, I probably want to bring my laptop with me. Then I realize my main Rxsack is at mid. so I'm rxsack. It made it sound like you had a selection of rocksack, you know the main Ruck sack and then you know, my my junior Ruck sack and then my casual rck sack. Good point, good point I think as David will know, maybe you will as well, M a roook suck, I think particularly for a comedian is quite a You definitely use them more than most people, I think. My corporate mates, I don't know if they're rucksacking around quite as much as us. I've rocksacking everywhere. Okay. okay. I'm sorry, I underestimated you, No, that's okay. Well, it was just the way you sort of markcked main rucksack. I was like, okay, he doesn't get it. Let No more I was more impressed that you had a selection. you know, like this is the main reception room and then we have a smaller breakfast room out the back. actually that was misleading. I don't have selection. What will happen is I will wear a roookset into the ground or lose it and then I will get another main ruucksack. So I only have one main ruuckack. Recently, I don't know where it's gone had a really crappy horrible rock side And I just for I'm gonna buy like a car hart like nice roooks up And I think I took myself twenty percent more seriously from that day onwards, you know? D many years ago in the world of comedy, there was a tension between the older generation of comedians who were more about, you know, boozing and staying up all night and then the younger lot, which would have been Fly of the Concordes and me and Dmitri Martin and Josie Long and Daniel as well, maybe Yeah. One of the older guys once was what's up with all of them? And it was like who? And he was trying to refer to us as a group. And he said, the lads with the bags. Yeah. because I actually think it was because we were always working on our shows or working on weird ideas. So we carried a lot of gear with us as opposed to the hard living previous generation who all they knew all they needed was a wallet to buy a few pints. Yeah, and they've had the same twenty for like ever But is it also like I would guess will you maybe driving less Was that part of it Oh sort of the you younger whipper snappers more getting trains more as well? So you're rucksacking more. That was one theory. May I do also remember that Because we just wouldn't be on for staying up till five in the morning at a pub lock in as much as they were. I mean, I'd do it a bit. We were also nicknamed the chocolate milkshake gang ' someone had once been seen with their chocolate milkshake. And who was this? Was this Eddie Large saying this? Who's saying this Normoman wisdom? You do sound quite lame, I can't lie. That generation very much paved the way for like whatm I think I'm now a hybrid. I think I'm a roook suck comedient who will have his water bottle and his laptop and his different colour notebooks, but will also stay in the pub tntill five AM. And then they will have the chocolate milkshake before bed, I reckon What coffee we having? didid we get to that? What are we ordering at the cafe? Yeah. so firstly I've left so then panic, a lot of panic first thing for me.. What am I wearing? I'm like thinking about my day. I don't have a ruck sack so I can't bring options. I'm always in a rush because sometimes I'll be like, right, just put these trousers on for now and then bang a few ofthers in the bag as well But I've pulled together an outfit. I'm always on a washing deficit. I always like I'm behind with washing. so I've limited options and stuff to wear But then I kind of have enough clothes that I like that I feel like I shouldn't have to wear stuff that I don't like. I'm not organized enough to wash. So in the morning I go through this sort of thing. when I say morning in the afternoon, I go through this thing every day where I'm like, I simply cannot wear that. But then what you know Max I love the idea of in the morning going out with like several pairs of trousers and tops in a bag for just better bling black tie in case you get invited to a garden party or something. You need a main ruck sack now because there's a top hat in it. and you're like, well, I can only fit this enormous massive ruck sack with a suit of armor, your football kit And just some casual slacks as well. Okay. That's a big t h. Let me tell you. Yeah. those comics that are M Ruksack costumes. what are they gonna do if they get called upon to play like eleven aside? You know what I mean? I'm ready to go. it's a risky day. you've got one outfit and one outfit only. What do you choose? One outfit, which also has issue and no backag So I've got phone charge in my pocket. I don't like that. it hurts my leg. Yeah It's cumbersome. Yeah, it's very cumbersome. It is luckily one of the ones that likes the more expensive I've for charge do the prongs fold. The prongs fold in. Oh he's doing's nice becausecause even if you swap the prongs around to the other side and they're not touching your leg For some reason it's still as uncomfortable even if they're pushing the outside of the jeans. Yeah. Now I'm sensing you really want to get me out of the house now moving. Max is aware Max is like we've not even got two PM. But I guess normally two PM would be quite late on in people's stors. Yeah quite often we haven't got past seven AM after half an hour. So this is good. We've got loads of time to focus on plug sockets in jean pockets. Dan are you holding the lap in front of you like someone going to school in littleittle house on the prairie. It's the sort of thing I would have done when I was younger and I've learned that there are limits. Yeah. L I'm all thinking outside the box, but you cannot just bring loose laptop out with you. L how are you carrying it? Not I leave laptop, I have to leave lap If you go out somewhere, you're going just to like a cafe down the road and you're just laptop in its laptop case, you do feel a little bit more business. You do feel like, I'm just business guy. I'm literally just I'm laptop guy. But I bet you have a Mac and that feels business. When you're doing it with a HP laptop from twenty nineteen, it doesn't feel that business. It feels like you're going to the paorwn shop to pay for your electricity ot a desktop Yeah, got a BBC micron' carrying it like this just to play frack in the cafe. I spilt a Gin and Tonic on my third Mac book and I decided I couldn't have a Map book again. So I bought this is years ago. I thought I'll buy a desktop so then it stays in the house. but was when I was younger and I was skinned And I did all my writing on it. So for the Edinburgh frre one year, I bought my desktop with me in a bag for life to the fringe on the st. Crazy. amazing. Desktop in a plastic bag, evenven if it's like a big little bag for life is like a one hundred percent murderer thing to do just to be in the cafe. I would just preemptively bring the police attention to this b. He is murdered somebody. I'm better these days. I am better but there's lots of things I do that are deeply suspicious like you. But what a power play On a train, someone opposite you gets out that little MacBook air and you just go, all right. you got the desktopang Modem you setting your modem up. O the phones ered like setting up the wiFi. N really undermined it is when the Windows ninety five T music comes on there. Yeah, you've got clip are kicking off Pcast powers the world's best podcast H's a show that we recommend. What if you laughed all through your commute? or if you heard the funniest story while at the gym Well, now you can. I'm Jamita Jramill and guests on my new podcast, Wrong Turns share their most mortifying and hilarious disaster stories. I'm talking people like May Martin, Bob the Drag Queen, Katherine Ryan, Jane Johnson, Margaret Cho, Simon Pegg, Penn Badgeley, and so many more. So listen wherever you get your podcast, Wrong Turns Dignity goes to die A cast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. AkS. com Hey, it's Ry Reynolds from Mit Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited preremium wireless for fifteen dollarars a month is back So I thought it would be fun if we made fifteen dollars bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at midmobile dot com slash switch Upront payment forty five dollars for months ninety dollars for six months one hundredy dollars for twel month, reired fifteen dollars for a month equival to taxess extra. initial term only greater thanty gigabytes in slow netork busy term We left the house yet. Wait, well, there's one more thing actually. a take her I don't really know why I did this. I'm kind of on ADHD meds, then I run out of them and I have to get a prescription because I'm not on my meds. I don't have the motivation to sort out the prescription. So this this loop I get myself into. So then the other day I walk past Holland Bartts and was like, I'll try some of this hippie shit everyone goes on about. So the reason I'm telling you is I bought some like five HTP and magnesium and some ashral ganga and I took them yesterday for the first time. So that's just important for you to know that And then I leave the house. Okay. Wearing an unqual acc coordinated outfit. B happy. but then as I'm leaving I start to feel pretty good and I'm like, I feel serotonin and I'm like which is a sensation I'm used to having when I leave the house on my ADHD meds. I like panic, take the meds, the meds kicking. I'm like, Oh, actually, I feel good. I'm gonna fucking I woke up late, I'm going gonna smash today. And I had a bit of that feeling yesterday as I was leaving the house. So I was like, maybe these herbal things are the future So I get the coffee. I say, can I have a caramel flat white And they said we don't do syrups here. Good, good. We need to work beyond the syrups, I think. I go for phases. I'm getting a bit syrupy and my flat white recently. It started off as a treat on a low day and now it's becoming a bit like the regular order 'ause it is banging caramel flat white. Oh goodness. So you just have a regular flat whide inst. Just a regular flat whide. Do you have it to go or do you have it in store? Have it to go. Have it go. I'm on the boutnce. I'm late I'mate at this point. Where are we going? Little things take me a very long time Yeah. So I think we've established that th.. It' to me a very long time. So I'm late now. I'm really late. If I don't have time for a coffee, I'll get a red bull fromr the little kiosk shop by Arsenal Station. and there's a guy there that is very nice but very NPC. So he sort of says like, Good morning, you all right? Yeah, H a good day in one sentence. That's all I've ever heard him say is those exact words. So he said that to me as I walked past. I looked at him with a coffee and he's like, okay He's not reed Bulling today fair enough. then I'm on the tube. to London Bridge Yeah to do the talkks spot interview with Max and Charlie. Ray. H you ever come into the People's Day? Yeah, because I imagine you've booked off the back of that thing before. So I'm probably not that special. David has and it becomes, you know, it's quite tricky. It's like the doc seing the docy back to the future because We don't want to know about David's day.s this is all about your day down. I am a small part of this day but I'm not Unless it comes up, I will only talk about it from your point of view. People are not interested in know the intrigue because there's clearly things. I'd love to know. it's like when you watch one of those dramas and there's another episode and you see the same day from the other persons and you're like, whoa, that's why they were acting like that, you know? That's why they mistakenly said Dan was an arrsenal fan. Right. Okaykay. Yeahah, we'll get to that. Yeah ye, yeah, yeahah. Look, I've had this a couple of times in the past where I have been part of Peop's yesterday. and I will admit now I mean, Max, you didn't have as much of an opportunity to play a role in it because you're in Los Angeles and Dan was in London. When I was hanging with Amyenette, I was thinking, you know, if I hit her phone now, I could play a huge role in her yesterday tomorrow. Yeah you can massively influence the story. Yeah. I didn't have much opportunity to do that. I did. And also at the time of the interview, I didn't know I was going to enjoy the interview and think I should book this guy for what did did dr yesterday later. No one knows I'm doing what do you do yesday at No one knows No one knows that. So we're free. We're free at this point from judgment from the future. So get to London Bridge station. I have a nightmare with that that news center where your radio show is. I've done quite a few stuff there. I bombed particularly hard on a times Sunday radio about politics once and there. and I always think that. I Harriet Kemzy and I think I don't know what was going on in my head. I think it was back in the day where I used to smoke weed. I don't smoke it anymore, but period in my life where I used to smoke it constantly. and I just used to make lots of sort of lazy bad decisions. They said do prep And I just sort of scanned the text like right beforehand and then it was really serious. Oh no. openpened this really serious complicated story and then said So Dan Tna joins me today, Dan, what do he use it? likeike you know, in the way they ask politicians That question It's au a dream isn' it? It's a few years ago as well. So already have impostas and Joan being there. She said, Dan Tin join me today, A awward winning comedian. Dan, how do you think Satire is being affected by Chat?? And I was like Did not understand the question whatsoever. didnidn't understand the story. So then I go, wow, yeah, I mean, it's funny, isn't it? Like I say that sentence just about my time. And then I just look at Harriet as I'm going, Yeah, and I go, I look at her like fucking, help me. And it was like that thing that I think comic knows the look in someone's eyes of sheer like She just jumped in basically. It's quite interesting from that perspective because when you're doing the show, obviously, T ten minutes before you're talking about, I don't know, I think we were talking to a journalist about the referee not being allowed into the USA and being sent back to Somalia. So you're doing this story, you're not really thinking what's next. I probably haven't prepped enough for the show because it's a five AM start and I'm still jet lagged. And it's just like, what's next? This person talking about this, fine, I'll look at that in the ad break and go, okay, this is happening and they come in and they do their bit and they go away. and at the end of it, you're a bit like, yeah, they were bit dry, weren't they? They're not really considering what there Their day is like at all. you're just like, come on and be good for ten minutes on whatever subject it is. Yeah. You don't have no interest on whether they've had a good day and they've come on or they're well prepped or they're not, you're just like, Bing be good, be good, be good, be good be good. And then they end be like, yeah I like that, but it didn't like that. But anyway a good show, see you bye. Yeah. You're just thinking of them in a binary of like, were they crap or were they good, really? Yeah Particularly when it's a very short interview, one question, like one first question, if you don't think they're gonna to ask you that can really throw you off. I think like I've learned a lot from that and some other instances, particularly in short interviews. I used to be quite like purists. I think like, oh no, I just need to be myself. And I realize that you can loosely prep and still be yourself. Yeah doing like your interview yesterday, I'm like I've got five or six things that I might mention if they come up, you know, likeike not being like, this is the exact thing I'm going to say, but like have a few lose things And kind of like don't let any dead air on your end, particularly when it's live radio, I think. I'm really hoping Max just asks you absolute bastard questions. Max will be like, do you think we underestimate the role of class in football? or something. And you've got a funny joke about posos Herzvidia. Yeah Exactly. Y one's very chilled doesn't feel like there's much expectation when you've got a comic on. it just feels like Just have a nice time. Yeah, yeah, like. You've probably been having like some reasonably serious chats, some like quite like football chats. Yeah, Not that. I mean me and Charlie, I think we started talking about Footballer barcode footballers and then people just send in puns on barcode footballers like Bradley Barcoda and you know, Emay Scan. The best bit is someone says unknown item in the bagging Ariola. And then Charlie says, donon't Google bagging Ariola. And then lots of people Google that and they send us horrible pictures. Okay, so I'm mistaken. in this situation, I am actually high brrow like I'm intellectual really like I'm call. You're like when they when they get the BBC South America correspondent on to talk about Venezuela or something thing you're top class and it goes well. sorry, I am allowed to ask these questions because you were both there You feel Max did a good job, Dan? I did, not that you need me to say this, but small world. So Bella Hull, who I live with Her boyfriend they had not been going out long, Joey Dusso, I think is his name is is a football journalist and he had coincidentally just been on your show as well Yeah R before me, and we didn't know. Oh that's his a coinidence. Jay's great. He text me and I said they're great interviews, aren't they? And he said, yes. So I have that in writing that we bothad. But at this point I do know that I'm going to be telling you that today. So it's all you know.. If Dan had met Joey in the studio, Joey wouldn't have recognized Dan So Dan would have had to pull off all his clothes down to his underbounds because he's only ever met him light a cigarette. Yeah D great to see you. He you're burly, aren't you mate? Now it's important for the tape because the head of Talksport listens to this is that I don't then spend the next hour while I'm doing the show getting your details or finding on Instagram and saying do you want to Come on while I'm meant to be concentrating on talking to Jim Proudford about the weather in Dallas or whatever I'm doing. But that is what's happening for the tape is that I think David sent a message going, I've said, Ohh, I've just had this guy on the show and he's good. Why don't we get him tomorrow? And David's like, Yeah, sure. And so I'm like, okay, so then I Instagram you think you want to do the show Let me give you a little bit of background to this. In the past, I have booked A lot of the guests for this absolute scandal Max has a thing where like I'll list ten people that I can ask to do it. And Max just says, I can ask Hugh Grant because he once was in a taxi with Hugh Grant over ten years ago and somehow he thinks I don't know how he thinks he's going to track Gdown But Whenever he brings up Hugant, I know he is not going to book again guest. then when he says, I could get Dad Tieran, I'm like, are you joking me? This is like an actual booking. This is incredible. He will one hundred percent do it. Yeah You're the Timu Hugh Grant. Yeah, it's a spectrum really. On one end you've got Hugh Grant, on the other hand, you got Dante. When he says Hugh Gant, you're like, Well, he's not going to get him, so I' better book someone. When he says Dantnturne, you're like, Well, let's try a few others and then maybe So anyway, so you walk out, you leave Talksport and you're free. This is when youre you're now. I go Kffe Nero donon't have a no pad with me because of no bag, which is annoying Because normally him I'm gonna to like, Ill do morning pages usually, I try and do it every day Well, like rightight It's often not in the morning. No afterfternoon pages for you. Yeah. it's often evening pages That was a big thing for me where I wouldn't do it because I'd be like, well, you missed it. And then I was like, you can it is still better to do it like in the evening or whatever But normally I'll do morning pages and then like write a list of like everything I need to do and then a few feasible things I can do in the time I've got and then I'll normally do not all of them I run out of time. I don't do that, so I do that mentally and I decide you can't do morning pages mentally. The whole idea is that you write it down. I don't know the rules of morning pages. You can't just sit I'd be like goodood worksman never blames his tools, David. you know what I mean? Like you gotta make the most of all you got. What I want is you borrow a sharpie from someone in Cafe Nerro, you pull off that t shirt and you just start like memento just wriding random stuff across your own butt Like in blood on the coffee cuook. That's what you're after They point to a sign no en bloed morning pages of this campfaign ow. Sure. But I'd already died on my arse enough doing that Sunday Times radio podcast near the news building that I didn't want to draw all my own shit on my body that near you know I definitely won't So then I decide that in the time I have A lot of things in the mental list are like I wanted to go and get shaave and a haircck. For the tape, it doesn't appear like you manageed that, I'm just saying. I decided to go to a magic shop instead Now, Dad, have these hippy ADHD meds, are they working? or is this the greatest evidence that there's ever been that in fact they are not working? Oh, the pills are feeling awesome at this point. I should say that. Absolutely I have a limited time, I need a wand. Ptty much I don't want to give too much away. My Edinburgh show, like finally, I did it in Melbourne but I'm like adding all the finishing touches and everything. It's about crystals, like healing crystals and want I want a big magical finale that I'm working on. and I've got like a mate who's a magician who's like taught me how to do some stuff, but then there's some other things that I thought the best thing for me to do is to go to a magic shop and ask for their advice basically. And that was like the perfect day for me to do it really. Is a magic shop like a pharmacy there at the side side and it says like magician on call And you can go into a little room and get the morning after a pill off them. You go in and you say, can I speak to the magician, please And then someone's up I'm not qualified to do the magic. I just start the shows. That's why you brought the top hat so you could wear us just to show that you too are a magician. Well, yeah, I mean, when I go in there, it's quite clear to me that there is that dynamic. There's the big the big expert boss and then another guy who seems a bit out of his depth Bless it I go in and there's a few magicians sort of skulking around. This is great. The great Sndo, Paul Daniels, they're all there pareant teller. I was a magician when I was young when I was twelve to eighteen started comedy. a really bad one. But I can spot a magician or when I find out that someone's a magician, I'm like of ca youw They're very clean. They're similar to comet, but they're much Caner and slicker And They were all in a magic shop as well. That's important.. Also one of them had a lady that had been cut into three. Yeah, had her on a hand trolley. He was like, I can't put her back together. Can you guys help me with this? Yeah, their girlfriends have backward legs. No And there were doves just flying about everywhere and just rabbits all over the place. Of course there are All right, so do you make a beeline for the head Hntch show? You this guy this guy, this head Hunt show who I'm like this guy can I could tell instantly, this guy could help me like so much But this guy is a livid Like, he's human, not but with fucking everything. So when numberers go in, he's going to his sort of second in command he guys the bicyle deck over there big one. So then his assistant guy that grabs like a jumbo echo goes, notot the jumboat, the big deck. And I can see a massive giant echo cars and I'm thinking it's that one. it goes, But it's so big that the guy can't see it almost. He's a fucking rashing f. And then I realize that this is just very much the energy of this store This guy is an expert He's just so pissed off with all these objects and like the staff and the organization and no one books ahead and he's just like fuming, you know Wow. And then I chat to a nice magician who he'd seen my comedy before. So we chatted to him. So that was nice because then I told him what I was doing And that was like a nice sort of warm up So then he gave me some suggestions and then managed to get the head huncho in who then just started angrily speaking Gibberish to me He's like, yeay, well, you need a fucking topic, don't you? You need a topic. And I'm like, okay, what does that? He's at Google topop it. So then I'm Googling it. and then he's like he's looking at my phone and he's like shouting. And then all the magicians are like joining me and being like, all, why don't you do to levate everything mechanic? He's like, No, that shit, we don't have any This is an hour, by the way. And like there's all sorts of mad contracts I don't actually want to say because So it reveals a lot of what like I want to do for the end. Yeah He gives me loads of like mad like ideas, but he also he doesn't want to sell me anything So he's like, Wellll just do that. Just buy a vape, inverse the vape, buuy a partart from a fish aquarium tank. He's honestly saying this stuff And I'm like so great I'm like, this is the guy, you know, this guy is giving me everything Suck GPT couldn't, like this is like a fountain of this knowledge that I've been sweating on, like trying to work out. So just say tell me to do it. Google it, G a phone out. He's just like shouting at. And I got really overwhelmed. So I was like, I need to I'm just going over a cigarette and he went, Oh, come with you. I wish I wasn't expecting And then this is the only moment I saw him happappy. he got his cigarette box out and went Oh no, I've got a fucking fax. And then he went And the cigarette box magically full of cigarettes and there was like a tiny Stop it. Stop it. I swear to God there was a tiny bit of joy on his face It's just always on. This guy is always on. No, no no, but what it told me is he'd been so unhappy for this hour Because really he want he loves magic And the five seconds where he actually did some magic. was There was just a bit of joy and I was like, o, this is where the stress comes from because this thing this guy can clearly make any trick. He's got everything He doesn't get to do it and it's always really hard and he's too busy and there's not the time. I feel like if this guy had more time, he would be delighted to like slowly tell me exactly what to do and stuff But it's just so funny being like if you go to anywhere else in the world, like any other establishment and you say, hello, I'm a stand up comedian and I'm writing a show about healing crystals. And in order to complete the message, I want to float around the room and make a crystal flow and disappear into a load of smoke Anyone else would go, wow, okay. but instead he's like, you need a topic, you need a m. you It just doesn't give a fuck. I've nothing to him. That is not special or anything. I was loving the prospect there of a fight in the magic shop just with all of the magicians just start a massive rumble with each other. Well it was, it was pretty agggy David. They were like roasting each were a lot, but you know when you're like Everyone's been very nasty to each other here And they're disguising it as a joke, but they're not comic, so the jokes aren't funny Th magicians alike kindind of like bad comedians. some of them are good comedy, but most of them try and do comedy but badly. So they're doing like shit roow jokes on each other and I'm like This is horrible. Oan he says, You need to get your mate drill a hole in the crystal about the size of your thumb. And then he looked at my hands and went so girl size then and all the magicians laughed because that is a big too say I've got big small thumbs is such a slam for a magician becausecause like magic is one big hand. I love this. It's like sort of otall bancer Magicians football bancer. Whered you get your wand from? Stupid wand glad your wand wang m I've always been like not self conscious. I've always been very aware that I have tiny hands, but it never gets boreought ever Right. I think a lot of the hand went to the head basically. That's what got when I It's so funny that the first person to roast me on my hands was a magician justust be like, yeah, goirside. D, do you get the information you need from this? I don't know what the term for a group of magicians is I get some useful information I might try a different store to be honest because I'm going to practice the methods he suggested seeee how I get on. There's all sorts of things like I bought some props, but then he's like he's just chated so quickly he's just like you go live, you get the downlive link and I can't a lot of the tutorials are like DVD so I gonna do I really want to buy a DVD And then I found one last night, a tutorial for a proper b but it's payPal. I don't have a payal acc. There's all this kind of stuff. It's a big step in the right direction. I'm glad I went. Right. It's a big step, but now I'm going have to ice some quite complex magic for routine I've invented and crucially I'm not a magician. I now really need to sort of check is the show point where I can focus on this and not that and I don't know if it's there yet. Can I do both much sure? It also might be that I do the illusion and it just doesn't fit in the show Yeah. I don't know until you do it. I might be like, o this just doesn't work for the standup show And all of, you know spent five hundred pounds on props and three months of my life learning how to use a fucking topet, whatever that is. Everyone's Googling topet now. yeah. Yeah. This is a phenomenal day. Where do we go after magic? So then we leave the magic shop and I instantly hear Pine then, mate turned around and have bumped into Luke McQueen Oh great. Yeah. he's a star of the Lucanders episode, I believe. He used to live together. Maybe that's why he'd heard Iie was doing this and he was like, I need to get in there. H and Daniel Kitson is basically in every episode And yet, I don't know if the guy actually exists. That's where we are with this. like He's just everyone will eventually end up doing something with Daniel Kitszon. He's running this podcast without running this podcast. Maybe better have gone to get a new backpack and he'd have been in there. Possly. Do we go for a pint? I mean, you've only been up for three hours. It's a bit early. H had anything to eat? I said I'm very unhealthy. I'm not eating. Yeah. I've had two coffees A lot of cigarettes and b I bought a toppet and some invisible string. That's my death Where do we go for a pint? There's a pub opposite.. He's got an hour and a half to kill. I've got an hour and a half until my trade. I know at this point I'm not going to have time to get a beard trim. and a haircut. I am now starving. Yeah. and I do think I should probably eat Bom I won't have a py with Lom MaQueen And when I have one pipe, the hunger goes away as well, which is obviously very unhealthy Yeah. He's a short term solution. Nevertheless. So we have two points. Luke is a pound and a half. you know, I said, I'll be honest. here has a pound and a half. Yeah I obviously spend the whole time telling Luke about the magic store incident in great detail I think o Paddington Station Is this where I tell you where I'm going? Yeah. Where are we going? I have a corporate w fif they Marketing thousand pounds fifty thousand pounds. Knock a few notes off that, will you? To the listeners, a corporate is the most one of the most lucrative comedy gigs you can do because it's generally been booked by a company to do it. but very often also the hardest gigs. So you're just getting danger money to die in your ars. Yeah. not saying that's going to happen here, but we will find out in a while. Where are we going from Paddington We're going to Newbury. There's horse racing there? Is it? I don't know anything about it. It Nar S Windon, isn't? Is it N Swindon? I don't know? I've briefly mentioned it to my mum the other day and she went, our home county's full of wankers. That's all I know about She didn't say for the one. She said something like, Oh it's one of those home cowy wanky sort of places, I think is what she said. The big story was the Newbury bypass. And I think the Newbury bypass was being built. I think that's where Swampy, the environmentalist sort of tied himself to a tree. I may have got different new stories muddled up. That's the big new apart from the three hundred fifteen at Newbury They on number six, you know, Willows hat at four to one. It was very much the newby bypass and swampy. But that was maybe twenty five years ago. group are you doing this gig for them? So this is for fifty marketing executives like marketing like companies for channel four. So basically all of the people that pay channel four to put adverts on channel four. So it's for channel four but for marketing executives and there's some of like a lot of like channel four sales team in the room as well. Tough. sounds tough. Yeah, it's not newb station I get off on because my ticket has been booked for me is a different Stationed as a car picking me up and Katherine Bohart, who's on the gig with me. She's meant to be we're both getting picked up, but then I arrive and I'm just in a train station in the middle of nowhere completely on my own. No one's there. My contact doesn't answer and I'm like, o God Is this a disaster? You got no ruck sack, youve got no change of clothes. Just a spool of invisible string is all they happen. Yeah. I can earn money. I've got a trade. I've got invisible string and. I get myself in a lot of pickles. It won't shock you to know. this is now way near on the pickleometer like in that regard. Okay. And then I've reread the instructions and I've done everything on my end So I'm not like well done. And then luckily only five minutes passes. contact replies. Oh because Katherine Bohart turns out she got told to get off at a different station by the driver who the taxi driver just presumed me and Katherine were like a double act and like would like whichich to be fair, if you're not in comedy isn't like If you're picking up two comedians from a station and you're a taxi driver, you're probably going to presume that they're like somewhat like together So she's been told to go off at a different station. That's so good. I wait turn, I get a lift to the hotel where the gig's at, which is a beautiful, it's called the resort. Beautiful like hills very fancy place, which you instantly think are we getting paid enough for this. I don't do loads of corporates and I used to think why? I used to be annoyer. whyy don't I? Like I've got enough credit, enough of a following, like I compare a lot, like why not? Then I listened to a recording of my act while Ist thinking that and I was like, o, that's why. Because people when they're trying to please a big corporate company a mix of people from walks of life that don't want to be watching comedy, they're like, o, should we book the guy that screams about K or shall get a oneliner? I don't scream about K as much as you Dan, but I put myself in the same category, which is if these are people who don't know much about comedy, they don't want a man with a children's keyboard to come out and start singing at them. Really? I would have thought you were fairly corporate friendly. you can be quite clean, right? No Maybe I'm too scared by the idea of it. And also we've all heard terrible tales where Everyone just stands up after five minutes of a corporate gig and shakes their head and walks out. This is why it annoys me I don't get more because I don't give a fuck. If you're giving me a grand, I will do anything. L People are like Oh, but people will get up and leave. I'm like, yeah, but no one has got to like, I'm not getting like fucked in an alley grand.'s a very different corporate, isn't it? I mean you have to ask fif hundred. fifteen hundred for that. Yeah. friendriend of the podcast, Darow Brien. I bet if you book him for a corporate, he writes twenty minutes material about marketing on channel four. Do you know what I mean? Like that to me is what you want from a corporate Because of my app This is me just being sincere here genuinely because of my app. peopleople think I'm like a loose cannon and you have no idea what I'm going to do and I am I make it seem like that, but it is intentional. So I think what annoys me is that if people say, oh, Dan, can you do clean or can you not do like too much mania or it's really important, I can follow a brief. I'm like probably quite good at that compared to others. So then when we do these pre meetings, then I always say, what don't you want me to do? So like a few weeks ago I did fifty head teachers I'm like, Is there anything you don't want me to say? She's like, No, I saw you at this gig, I loved you. They're head teachers they love a laugh. like they love jokes about like neurodivergence, they love the edgy stuff. So I'm like, rightight, well, you give me a brief, I'll do that. They hated it. But it's like, you told me to do that. So that's what I'm gonna do. I do the channel four thing and beforehand I said, what don't you want me to do and they say, please just don't mention married at first sight. So I'm like, rightight, I can do that. And then I go on and I scream about Russell Brand for five minutes and everyone's like Well, you know, So yeah, get there. And they're all still having dinner. Me and Katherine are on. So Katherine, I'm trying to say, I know you're going to set this room up nicely. She's like, she's like, Yeahah, yeah, you're in a great spot here. because I'm gonna go on, take the bullet There's also some stuff with like trains and the gigs running over and we were going to get c together and I was like I basically told Katherine just just get the fuck out and get that earlier train. And I also'm happy about that because it means I can bomb in peace. you know what I mean? Catherine goes on, completely smashes it and I mean it's not great like set up. It's almost a conservatory could not be wet more well lit There's no stage. It is just a wireless mic Well This seems like a fairly like nice energy in the room and I'm also like, okay A lot of these people are like, if they're advertisers, particularly advertisers who advertise the channel for, they seem like they're probably like fairly creative. like they probably work with comedians and stuff. That was the vibe I got straight away. Is their clinky clinky knife and fork? you drinking and chatting. It was a little, a lot of white wine going on, but they're all inv I can only describe as very expensive t shirts. It was that vibe. Right. You know, when you see a plain t shirt and you're like, that'll be three hundred quid that. Like that is too plain for you to wear today this Like that's going to be such an expensive t shirt. Do you go out and chout about C or do you tone it down about? Pretty much. So Katherine leaves straight away and then guuy what is his name reallyally nice guy? L I think he's head a sales f channel for his name is David Yarris's name. He goes on and he goes O, I'm a bit scared about this next app And I kind of am like I quite like that because that gives me permission to then just go completely mental. Yeah. because then I just storm straight on and I'm like, you should be scared. So I go with that energy and it kind of works quite well for the first five, but then You know, the fatigue kicks in where it's like you are in a very well lit room. There's only so long. onlyly fifteen minutes as well So pretty decent stuff I get out I have a quick drink with David, the guy who runs it us I went for my cab You know what for a corporate, I'd say about as good as you could hope for, like given the setup. obviously And an ideal room they'd have all been in like a comedy room or whatever. but that's fine. So what it was, I was pretty happy. Have you eaten anything No, I'm not eating. I'm not eating. Oh my Godd. worse than James Buckley. We never thought we'd get worse than the James Buckley two botls of stellar and a curry for dinner. James Buckley did not eat all day and then ordered the yeah most giant curry with extras and chips and rice and all the rest of it. Oh lads. Before I got the train, I got a prep. I'm so sorry. Oh o. I'm so sorry. Stolen Vala. Fuck! I was so stolen Vala! I was so excited that I was on a par with James Buckley. He's one of the crew, like come on, I was like, we' got something here. Now he's gonna hear that I had a lact of soup and a fucking salmonon rye bread sandwich he's gonna think what Charlotte. So before I get on my train, o, crucially I've had my two pintes when I go to the train. Shing to do with these pills I now feel awful. What time are we? You're hungry dad. So when I get the train to the gig, it's we're half past six in the evening. Okay. I've had two pintes, two coffees an actatural ganga and a magnesium five HTP blend awful, but not just awful in a hunger way. There's a chemical reaction going on of someone kindent. I'm Googling. I'm on Reddit. I'm on reeddit. I'm reading about serotonin syndrome and all this stuff. My fear is that you flash yourself to a group of old ladies and afterwards in court it's like my client had had a laaxa soup with a magnesium pill. Your Honor, we all know what happens when you make Thday things. He'd had two coffees and he'd been distracted learning how to use a toppit, Your Honor. Like a train and gig. And then as I get in my cab The woman like running the gig, she's like, Oh, there's some food. She gives me a paperbag I don't know what's going to be in there And then whilst' aw from a train, it's cold, but it's like I think it's loud And it's beautifully cght Just a bag of meat. it's a bag of meat. There's chips and salad in there, but they didn't get much of a look. I can't lie my. Right. I eat the meat, the cold, cold meat Also in the background to my day, I have a Ayla, my friend. she's producing my Edinburgh S show. she also runs my social media account with me. She's going on holiday. so she needs we do two stand up clips and what we call a Dan cam it's just me talking to a camera. I hate doing them It's good to post three times a week and if we do free sand up clips it all will run out too quickly. So she's all day like I need a d camp So then I'm trying to do a dan cam whilst I'm waiting for my train but I get distracted with my meat. and then I run out of time and the train comes and I've not done my dan cam. Then I'm on the train. I don't have headphones, by the way. They're in my ru sock which at my mate's house. So I'm broadoging the train. Shit. What do I do on the train Oh, I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm trying to find a video of how to use a top tit. That's what I'm doing. Yeah ye. Of course you. Yeah. have we established what is a top? What is the topit? Pupet is a device That can make something disappear. I think I can say that. Wow. This is like Richard Osman's dinner. He just can only say so much, but can't say anymore. Fair enough. I think with magic If you want to find out, you can, but no one will. There'll be some people who are listening to this that will look into it, but the majority won't So the people who look into it, they I think I give enough information that they get to know except for you don't really because I've bought one and I fucking don't know how it works. So I like that it's either magic or Mafia. We say, we can make this disappear. I'm gonna make this disappear. G me a top it. G me a top it. My mystical idea of what magic was like was ruined somewhat earlier in this day And the guy just kept saying, fucking Google it. Fucking Google it. Yeah, what's the fucking video? Yeah, exactly. That's all it is. So then I get to Paddington. I film the Dancam really quickly. I then text Aayla Lodes about how much I hate the Dancam. She reassures me. I then get home. I'm tired Oh but that channel four David guy had told me that Tiktoe, the new series Russell T. Davies is really good. And then my dad who never watches anything messages me to say Have you seen Tiipto, which is normally an indicator, if my dad's across it something is seeping into the main street. Yeah. So I then on my phone because my laptop charger I realize I don't have, that's in my rook second my ma. I on my phone watch the whole series of Tiptoe because I got completely hooked on it and stayed uptill five AM Allright Oh watching this is ye on my phone. Oh, in my flat. and then Tipto is really good. I couldn't recommend it more So how many apps is that? How manys? five apps? It's only five apps. So that's five hours. You do five hours a minute? Yeah, I will guess what adverts five hours. Okay fine. Yeah. adverts, which I now know the people who have made those adverts. I bumbed in front of those people It's really, really good. I highly recommend, but there's a big undercnt of like gay like loneliness and all of that stuff. and I'm gay obviously. it makes me feel V sad I never cry. at the end I did cry slightly. I don't really cry at films. I either like cry in arguments, and then when I cry I have an instant panic attack or I cry There's no. but I did like weep out a little tear. It really hit me hard to the point where I then just had to order a KFC. So Well you h you only had a lax of soup as well. I eat too much. No I'm big fat You man you need to eat or o you lot of soup and rice salmon, some cold lamb and the KFC. Yeah, I did. And I'm feeling sed bit and at this point, I'm very aware that I'm gonna to be telling I'm like, I'm gonna to have to tell David Max about this. And'm then like, fuck, I'm feeling a bit existential in that thing. Then I go for a pastace. I'm thinking I will I tell them about this pacee. You know, I'm thinking about like that F episodes after that it's ridiculously late at this point. It's like four, five AM I can't sleep, I'm stimulated. Then I have to watch loads of like interviews about tipto and reviews of it And then I go to sleep And to be fair, to the five HT and the Asstrogandia out like a light when I close my eyes. So you know what? I do like You know, the reaction to high emotion, this brought me to tears, so I ordered a Zingger burger is a really great like Yeah, I felt very sad after I ate the KFC. Bolting on five hours to your day like that is quiteet we've never had that before. Yeah extreme. exxactly. D done well to get up for this episode. You know, it was only about three hours ago, wasn't it? Now I think about no one else really lives like this, that I know I don't know, I think comics are more like this. Yeah. I'm definitely I get oblate and I stay obate. That's like my thing. I'm a nighttime guy. Was there any point in the episodes where you're like I'm watching on my phone it's three AM or it' four AM. I'll just watch the next episode tomorrow. No. I'm aware of it, but I'm pretty much free up in and I'm like I'm probably going to have to fucking finish this. But I'm very in denial. I very li A I watch one more When I'm like, I could watch one more, I'm watching one more But there is whilst I'm watching and I'm like after this, I probably should go to sleep I think it's ADH like when I'm when I'm locked in on something There's nothing. You can't stop me. L this is where my heads are D't feel bad about this I mean from a pure point of view. This has been a hugely successful day. As in, you did some publicity stuff on the radio and met my friend Max And then, you know, you went for a nice pint. So we've got a friendship thing there as well. We've earned some good money doing a slightly more money than Catherine doing a gig And then You've been super stimulated by watching something that will affect you for years afterwards. That's a day. Don't worry about any of the rest of it. That's a bloody day. There's far worse day. There's days where I would shock you in the same amount But get far less done Like this is a justification for me as well. whilst I'm watching this. I'm like, this is good for me creatively to watch this for like scris I'm writing and stuff. So I mean that is maybe a bit denial. I'm also watching it because I'm enjoying it. But yeah, I feel pretty happy with the day I mean, I'm more self conscious, I know this lifestyle cog on for much I am young dad Well you know what? you will always have this as a reminder of what this time in your life was like Dan Tieran, thank you very much for telling us what you did yesterday. Thanks lads. Thanks for not judging me too much. I just want to make clear as well, this was not a shocking day. My day is like that every day. is all of the things that shock you are the same every day like that. I just want to be really clear that That was weirdly cphartic actually, so I appreciate it. Thank telling me on for sure Thank you dad Dan Tin, I should say he was so funny on Tport The interview was so funny and he exactly got it. L he was talking about, you know, what you have to do when you come onto a show. I love that he still has those panics about the times radio thing. because we've all done a bit. We've all done five minutes on a thing. Yeah. I still think about, you know that show in Australia, the cheap seats where I went on and I was absolutely shit. and I put so much work in, I was so shit And I just don't think I could look anyone in the eye that works on that show.' thinking o no. And it's the same that Dan's got this Times radio thing where he's like like and they won't be thinking about it. They are not thinking about this. But we all have that thing. Max Melanie, who hosts the cheap seats in Australia is great. I asked her about doing our podcast and now I realize why you've always been like H who else? Wh else could you get That is our first I can say with one hundred percent confidence. that is our first ever magic shop and that is our first ever Shazam of magicians, bickering magicians you fucking. And also just the He describes that shopkeeper, like the loveliest man who just wants to magic his cigarettes fucking go. It's such a great image. It's an absolutely brilliant, brilliant image. And that's an amazing just to drop the bombshell and then I watched an entire box set midday. So like going to bed, you know, I have long days. they just start earlier But there is something about that that makes you think, wow, that is I' going to sleep