Fixing Toilets and Phone Migrations

There are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already. I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, businessiness, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We'll try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday, Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? Noope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life Unless it was yesterday We don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushton, and I'm David O'Dar Hervey. Welcome to What did You do yesterday Hello and welcome to Midwk May from the people that bring you what to do yesterday. I'm Max Rushon, alongside me, David O'Doherty. welcome, David. First time I have ever considered doing the podcast Tpless. All right. So warm. Oh I thought it was Last week subscription. This week Only fans. We're no longer in this for the entertainment business. We are just here. And the mocking we got last week from Kristen Charl Firstly, she'd never heard of us. I mean You told me this was huge in LA. You told me that when you're on the LA subway, everyone's just listening to us. She'd never heard of you and you were at her wedding. that's Now A mistake we often make is we plug things at the end of the podcast. And so we should say thank you to everybody the extraordinary numbers who have already subscribed for the bonus episode, which is released at the same time as this one. You can see it in your feed. And if you have subscribed, it's there. and if you haven't, there's a little padlock. And if you would like to open the Sad padlock, you have to. You have to go to yesterdaypod dot supportingcast d.Fm or actually on your little app ' I had to subscribe to be able to see the comments. So like we're also in this. We're no different to anyone else. Yeah, fully paid up. I love the podcast and I want to hear more of it. And so I am a subscriber Yesterdaypodot supportingcast dotfm. you'll get the ad free, you'll get the bonus episode, you'll get the tea towel, which is coming soon If you sign up for the year and the lottery for when we do normal persons, what did you do yesterday? Even if it's against their will. Johny a terrible admission. What's this? I haven't signed up yet. Why Because you're just not that into it. I don't know if I'm not into it. Yeah For me, I think I get enough already I a guess they're just two blow hearts Thinking they could justify Basically fifty minutes to an hour of this. Do I need another fifty minutes of that? I'm not sure I do, Max. but I'll think about it. I'll have a think. My best friends Matt Skelding said I'd not pay for this And then he said, you need to make sure to avoid any in jokes forming in the paid episodes that you mentioned in front of the freeloaders less they feel sad and left out. I will be sure to point out if this happens. So actually it's quite useful having Matt here as a control.. And he hears something he doesn't understand, he will be in touch. So he's our kind of he's like our auditor. We've got an auditor for what did did you yesterday. But I should say despite David's concern. Yeah, it is worth doing It's worth doing. Yeah. fine. I'll give it a go. Yeah, Thanks mate. Just read the padlock The algorithm has been serving me up a new intriguing. They know I'm a bad boy, okay? Of course, yeah. Like a te bird. you're like Putsy Who's Py? Putsy is the bear from children in need. That's Pudsy. Ps is from Greece Oh yeah You' so well, so well wellh, that's who you are Yeah, it would be weird if one of the characters in Greece was Pudy, the lovable Teddy bear from children at least hugging Terry Wogan. Yeah he doesn't say much, does he Does he have a personality Pudzy, no, notoriously an asshole, keeps himself to himself, doesn't talk to the rest of the crew, doesn't know anyone's name, you know, but just turns up and delivers when he's on air Off camera Absolute fuck quit. Yeah. I heard for a while he was really on the town with Mandeval Who was one of the two mascots off there the twenty twelve Olympic. Right. Okay yeah PK the Mexico eighty six mascot. Three of them were in cahoots weren't they just tearing up the tap. They're like Chris Evans and Danny Baker, Gaza. My point is this. so I'm getting in addition to Danny Sandhouse sanding Victorian floors, fights on Riyotir I'm now getting Open locks are in free In particular, you know the ones that they have in offices sometimes, which are It's one to ten on four letters. Yeah, ye, yeah, it's one, two, four, seven X hash there a cinch to open. They' Yeah, you sort of open it as much as you can and then you test each of the but Oh and cushing a safe with little ear trumpet. Yeah, click click Yeah click click, click click ye This is it. I feel it's going to come in useful one day when you're trapped inside something and I'll be able to rescue you. Hopefully trapped inside something with that specific look. otherwise not helpful. But I mean, that is a good when we're thinking about the subscribers It's cheaper than a locksmith callout fee That's all I'm saying for that to open that padlock. Now, there is a big moment of controversy from the Christian Sch shif. I know what it is. you know what it is. Andy writes. David, I think you're forcing Max to spell j please dismissing his effort as though he was a dunance and then very confidently spelling it wrong Perfectly encapsulates the glorious nonsense of the pod. Jake, confidently spelling Jodpers wrong to bait engagement on the new listener drive shakes my head. We're ono you, Jay. I aspire to the confidence of DOD spelling Jodpers wrong Dear Max says Hope in San Francisco, Are you okay? Are you being bullied? There have already been red flags for me and your relationship with David, given his unending bullying of your use of meals in a box and his utter disregard for your time poverty as a parent. But during the episode with Christian Schll, he really updated himself. His disdain for your correct spelling of the word Jobpers as he gave you the incorrect spelling and then proceeded to gaslight you and berate you for your inability to spell job whichich again you spell rightly And it did not was evidence to me that this is no longer a healthy, supportive relationship. As a devoted pod listener, I feel it's my duty to remind you that in it for life does not mean you have to remain in an abusive relationship. There are those who care about you and have your back. At times when you doubt yourself, please recite, I know how to spell jobpers and I'm a strong independent podcaster Love from Hope in San Francisco. David, over to you I would like to apologize for dismissing. But I listened back to it as well. I was so confident I still thought I was right. Do you know what I mean? to the point where I put in like are there alternative spellings of child Pers? Oh I see. Right. You're sticking to your guns. Stick to your guns. You've gott to believe in yourself No That was Awful. That's a real low point in the podcast add to the listeners. I sorry. It's an Indian word And I think Purs means People don't want this from you. People don't want you trying to like, you know now come up with an extra facts about jobpers. Do you know, the problem for me is I've had so many messages about jobpers I can't see the word anymore. I literally know I used to know how to spell Judobpers and now I don't know how to spell Juders I' have a huge impact on my life What if Willie Rushton becomes a jockey? I just have to say trousers. I'll be laughed out of the Jym Karner. That's That's what you've done to me. Max, it was the fact that we'd missed a week while we were migrating onto some new platform or something. It was so much expectation And then one e I so confidently. I do love this. sorry, this is a message from B E. Murphy who just said, so glad you're back. I got so desperate. I listened to Max's soccer podcast. Which in fairness to it does deal with yesterday, but a very specific aspect of yesterday, which is football matches that took place yesterday. Well, actually, we're recording the evening, so it's today is what you do today. Yeah yeah. But there were so many games yesterday My cohost, Barry, who I'm being a bit quiet because he's asleep still. He didn't leave the apartment. I mean, he could have left the apartment, but he just sat on a chair watching the Lincoln lawyer and watching football. Well, thanks for listening to that. Yeah. And he says, I have to say both handled Christian Schll's visit to the gynecologist disappointingly well. Back in series one, that' have gone very differently and possibly ended in a lawsuit or cancellation We don't want to get good at this, David. Much better. Victoria is bonk when we By. I was trying to be really cool about the Smith. I was like, this is good. It's good. peopleeople having this conversation. We need to have these Men need to have these conversations. That's what I was thinking in my mind. I was like, Men need to have these conversations What happens Had it been the first series, I'd have said, was it a good smear test? I would have said, yeah, what was your score? Whaty did you get out of a hundred for it Nadem, a friend of mine says, Head of today's England match Quick question if I may, Max, are you Emma Radacanu's new boyfriend? John F seems to be an alias you might use. Yeah, there's another generic man. I would say John. Friend spent I'm not spelling anything to you, David, it's too risky. Oh yeah, here we go. God and Fred. Oh yeah, there you are Wow. This is awful. on top of mr. Roston being stuck in Australia two little diseased lads and you I'm stepping out with Emma Radicano Yeah British Tennis is next hope Here's a great message from Rebecca Dear Max DOD and producing team, I feel compelled to finally write in as the degree to which the pod is becoming the center of my universe, or more specifically Max', even though I've never met him, is now getting weird. I've been listening to the podcast for eighteen months and I love it, but every now and then the Venn diagram of my life and Max's life overlaps a bit more and then a bit more. My first and main connection to Max is via my husband Steve Wh is now a photographer himself, used to work for Martin Parr in the studio next door to Max's flat. Hello Steve. Yeah. For many years, it was in fact Steve who did Max's printing Sorry. Now it's Dave, the physical therapist to the two thousand sevenQanda. Yeah, Dave does it in Frank of Jenna doing that, but it was Steve or Tom or I mean, Louis and Jenny did most of it. But anyway, Steve did a lot of it. It was often a topic of conversation over dinner in the evening that once again, the blo who presents Soccer AM had knocked on the door and asked Steve to print something. And wasn't it strange that given his level of success, he still did not own a printer? U I just hadn't plugged in into the Wiifi. We also often discussed whether Max had anything to do in the week, given that he only seemed to work on weekends. At the time, no, just Friday, Saturday morning. I never met Max properly, but I do have a memory of seeing him during the soccer and glory years at the front door in a dressing gown one weekday morning. sounds. have been in a dressing gown, not it would have been a t shirt and pants, perhaps I'm a freelance food and drink journalist. I also work for the Guardian. and after a couple of years after Steve left Martin's and ceased to be Max's personal printer, I was invited to become part of the Sunday Brunch presenting team, which as you know, is presented by Tim Lovejoy, Max's predecessor on SoftwareM. We thought it was funny I was now working with someone tangentially connected to the man Steve had done printing for Everything is showbiz and the Venn diagram closed on me a bit more, as it did again when we both started listening to the pod. Whenever Max mentions his Melbourne neighbourors and their forbearance regarding his continuing lack of a printer, I've thought about riting in. So imagine my surprise and or worry when Max gave out his postcodes. I grew up in Oxford and as a result, at exactly the same time Max was attending Oxford I don't like to talk about it. and living on the Cowie Road, I was supplementing my own student income by working in bars on Cowie Road. Did Max ever visit Cafe Coco, the pizza place with the clown in the bath or the Casbar? Yes, the Casbar. the Tapaspar with a glass roof. If so, I almost certainly served him as San Miguel in the late nineties or early two thousands That' be. Furthermore, when he lived on Ily Road Practically next door to my best friend from school because I immediately recognized one of the postcodes he read out as hse. Why is it? I cannot remember why I went upstairs or something, but I can still immediately recall a postcode from nineteen ninety eight. Finally, there's the matter of the Bronie May Williams episode. Brinie has been a friend of mine since long before she became famous for Bakeoff because Briie's husband, also called Steve, is one of Steve's best friends. and they were at primary school together Hearing her on the pod was a delight, but I do need to ask her how she finds time for a two and a half hour manicure The podcast remains my absolute favorite, continues to make me love. I'm very much in it for life, but it's beginning to feel a bit like Max is tailing me through m, Rebecca. Hi, Rebecca, Hi, Steve. Thankks for the printing. Wow. That's Rebecca Radicanu It is for a real surprise now you come over for a Sunday lunch This is from Lindseay. Hello Max and David on the subject of food being cooked in saunas. There's a thermal baths I visit in Aachen, Germany, where one of the saunas was labelled Dbakoffen, the baking oven I thought the name seemed a bit distasteful in some way, but it started to make sense when halfway through a session there, a man in chef's whites came in. Bear in mind, everyone else was completely naked because this was a German spa. So this was surreal on more than one level. He walked to the oven in invertcers, averting his gaze like a professional as he did so and removed a huge tray of freshly baked bread rolls for the onsite restaurant No one else baded an eyelid, or at least I don't think they did. but I may have been avoiding eye contact myself. Thank you for the podcast. bestest w is Lindsey So it does exist. Yeah I don't love it. Maybe the bready air would be nice to be in. I mean, it's better bread in there than I Id Turbt. Yeah. I know where you're going with this, which is if I drew a bath that was so warm. you could just like tip a load of sprouts into it Would you that you're in a bath of chowder already, aren't you? Would you eat the sprouts then if they'd been so close to my ass, you know So the question is, what is the minimum distance of a sprout to your ass? I would still eat the sprout Is that what you're saying. Okay. Eespecially because it's an inescapable idea with the sprout that it has come from there as well. That's been sort of like Yeah, ye. but shopp them about too I think if the sprout has been cooked in the same bath you're in, I am not having the sprout But what about that coffee that goes through a cat I don't want that cat to ask That's not the love It's the coffee I drink. So what? you were saying at the same cafe' the coffee pasty with the cat. and these sprouts have gone all the way through David O'diy and they've remained intact We are serving them That's how you've become so LA is that not only do you add a three quarter flat white hot but also made with the Ascat coffee as well, please. And David had already sprout floating in it. Thank you we do the quizz One of the quizzes Last week I felt we had too many quizz, but then I was thinking about it, One of the quizzes is now finished because Desmond Morris, who I confidently also said was a sociologist and he is definitely not a sociologist. He's an anthropologist. Yeah. neverever believe anything I say. I've been shooked by this, Max. I have been hell you know. Yeah Well, Dave says, dear Max de,ar producer boys, the gle and celebration with which the end of the David Squires quiz was greeted was in such contrast to the end of the Teddington quiz shocking Playing the two moments back to back would be evidence worth submitting to the courts, Marsbar. Also, orangutans are not monkeys, they're apes and don't have tails, so the orang orangang could not suspend damp items from that appendage. Pretty sure half of them have penises though. ye. Everything is showobiz and animal drying puns, Hippap potter moist, says Dave. Thanks, Dave. Yeah, than you very much. So we did do that. We finished that quiz. That's good. Okay, lets get through these quizzes. Soh we start with the Pet Monte's quiz? Don't belie it a jing To the listeners, we are enjoying Max's Don't wake Barry voice. It's brought us sort of desert Island discs to this whole thing. Yeah. If eventually after doing this for years, you get offered like a real prestige radio job. It'll be called like the interview with Max Rush to Yeah because men need to talk about Sith That's why You'll do it, you'll be doing it in this voice ye. The thing I think about desesert on a Disc is, you know how the intro is so long and the person is sitting there I always think that must be an awkward bit when they go. David O'Dhery, he says he's the foremost tiny casio keyboard player. But his comedy has spanned the decades. He's one of the greatest living Irishmen, David, welcome. you're going, What are you talking about? I'm just sitting here It's really weird. No one would ever sit and say you'd just say hi Okay, so the Peta Monte' quiz for those who can't remember, shame on you. For those who choose not to A few months ago I was at Peta Montes Fitzrooyy North at the cucumbers. And I looked to my side and there was someone who I thought I recognised and I wasn't sure. and then I checked later and I knew who it was Clues are there Osteopath for the Australian Takwanda Olympic team two thousand sevven eight used to get lifts from this person in the nineties for a specific reason. Yeah. Keith in Halifax, Nova Sotia, Canada. Hi Kith He C out to everyone in Nova Scotia. High DOD Mars, Bar and Max. Big fan of the pod as well as an avid trivia Baff 's going in I listened to several trivia podcasts and always happy that these games have become part of what did you do yesterday I feel trivia is a step up from quiz. Th these are now actual questions you could get a pub quiz. The main difference between regular trivia pot and yours is that the traditional ones involve general knowledge hints and wning participants. Sorry, imagine just if I stood up in my local bar on a Tuesday evening at eight o'clock, everyone's pid a ten or in and I'm like, all right, let's get it going. Question one, who did Max Rush beond Sucker AM. Who did he see in an Australian supermarkets some time ago He says in an effort to end one of the current contests, I utilized AI and asked what nineteen nineties Australian Taekwondo athlete is the most famous. As a Canadian, there would be no other way for me to even haswer a guess. I submit doctor Laura Burns lives in Melbourne, gold medal Olympian, public speaker, author, and Order of Australia recipient. Everything is showb, Is it in it for life Keith Incorrect. Y. I can now. I said her name a few weeks ago. So yeah, this is poor podcasting. Yeah, I do. Okay. It feeleels good podcasting to me. Well it depends where you set the bar, I guess. Incorrect. and I can I'm happy to give a clue I have a guess Oh yeah Kathy Freeman, by any chance. No, or in the Kathy Freeman. She's always wearing that. in the aerodynamic It's the aerodynamic four hundred meter. Absolutely bolting it around Peter Monte. The answer, the person in question, This is a huge glue. Okay No link to Taekwondo That is pretty much that quz over. Oxford is done, Peter Mantees is done. That means there's only two more quizzesill we can get to my yesterday Yeah, here is they're just normal countries to play the jingle I no one and don lay Three could I be? I am the one and only Where in the world could our listeners be had lots of emails about the jingle and people liking the jingle, so that's good. Previous guesses, Northern Marianas Islands, Sutu, Malawi Sura andam Southudan, Sa Toe, Princip Aal Lchstein Montenegro, Guyana, Kurasa, Andora, Monssurat My friend Matt got in touch. He's the one who's gonna to check on the in jokes. Why do you keep saying Montenegro correct when listing out the normal countrirys guest? You've done it for two episodes running it wasn't correct This guy is an absolute ballbreaker. This is what we need any complacency. Imagine how angry he was at Job first. I'd say he threw his Bluetooth speaker across the room. He his iPhone into the creek into the river in Birkhamstead and said that's it. I'm sure one of them was correct though. I'm sure we did get one of them correct. I thought it was maybe Liechtenstein anyyway. Maybe we' got no correct. Here we go. This is from Darmish. Hey, Darmish Hi teeam multiple yesterdays. I've never been more excited to be part of a podcast eating itself now that you've launched a fan club. It's the human centipede of podcast No, that will not happen. This is not. The other one has a completely different vibe to this. One episode, David's Tpless and the next it's a human sense of it. Welcome. join the back And have a great time. Yesterday, experiencing yesterday, digesting yesterday, shitting that yesterday to the mouth of the same yesterday, all that and a free David Squires design teetail. signign me up for life for this life and the next, says Jarmes Can I submit the following guesses for just normal countries Interruption. Yeah. A human centipede would be if IKEA brought out one of them U. You could hang a lot of socks and then grab We need a pud. Is there a drying pud in humid The humid humid be It cent to be I We would dry all the clothes, but People would leave after a dinner party didid you see in the bathroom? Did you see? they've find the bathroom. the humid centipede. I don't know anyone would. Please can I submit the following guess is for just Normal countries to electric Boogleu. After the hereroics of the World Cup, I'd like to guess Cape Verde or Cape Verd. Yeah. Habo Verd. perhaps they their undefeatable Galkeeper has stopped an entire nation from listening to the show. Yes, Johnny Plid, Is he Cape Verdes? No, he's Haitess goalkeeper. Vino, Visino. Oh wow. You've really come up with your Brazil Runu Fange, Runu Frenange Anyway, faithfully yours for life,armish. Thankkss Darmish. thanks for being in it for life. Produer Will. Is Cape Verday a normal country Before the partod, David said, even I don't care about that just not one countryoot.' raising the quiz the che' still all there for. Thank God, Oxford United is done. You've given a big clue for Peter Mont'. hopefully people could go to work that if I know the listeners to this show there will be an Avalanche of famous Taekwando people Let's do their just normal cheeses. playay the very long jinggle Five Jz, this is Jes. That goes on forever. evenven I think that goes on forever. Producer Joel from Fotball Weekly was' in LA and he was going for a run and brand ban three thousands drinking in LA began. And it begins with a clip from a radio show which says You can call in if you want to answer a couple of questions. mainly, what is Todd's favorite cheese? A, Jackie just called in and said it was a type of rock for, whatever that is. Give us a ring a dinging. It's a beautiful day. So maybe we stole this from Brand Band three thousand. It's the sort of reference you would make, I wouldn't possibly make. That kind G tune. It is a classic Early two thousand seventeenV reference. yeah Alice Wites. Hi David Amax, Avid listener from Ireland, six months into my maternity leave with my beautiful baby girl, congrratulations. I have to say this podcast has been great on my daily walks and the one to four AM wakeups This was really impressed upon me with a recent pause where at one two AM wake up I was shocked and pull that I didn't have the new episode to listen to. I found myself refreshing the app far too often. I do still have some of the back catalogue to listen to, thanfully, which admittedly did cause some confusion at one point when I thought the cheese quiz had literally been going on for years. and my sleep deprived brain didn't realize there were different Christmas cheesebard years Yeah.'s okay. we understand, Alice My cheeseboard guess is as follows, Bri. Binging The Lis de bonnon Bing Bing Bing Khilly. Baby me Casso Blue Cheese drinks. B, big, big. You've done it So that's great. So the second, this is great news. We're in the middle of June An Febary March, April M mayay, June, that has been six months of the second cheeseboard Was that the Christmas cheeseboard? Yes Christmas Ceseboard. Oh my good. I left so big a pause there. 'use in a way, I didn't want it to end, but then I hope that like people didn't think that their phones had run out of battery. You know, there is a danger in that. Of course, we could have lost subscribers at that moment Because people have short attention spans that are just flicked to off menu at that moment. Yeah. they wouldn't have found out, Wow, this is huge. I'm not wishing my life away but rooll on booxing dayay twenty twenty six is all I'm saying. Because this was the difficult second cheeseboard and the third one will be is huge. The P problem is the cheese wors now totally self aware. That one. So if you remember early doors with that one was very clear there's high and low cheeses involved in this. The low cheese, obviously the cheese strings. And I thought that would be the tricky one Delise de Bourgon. Absolute nerds can go to everything is showhowbiz dot com and I seeded that as an idea in another part of the podcast early on. This guy knows what he's doing, but nobody picked up on it, apart from now in that beautiful maternal phase, Maybe it was from listening to one of those old podcasts that the inspiration came But she now wins the it's a yellow Nissan Micra. that we have filled full of Brussels sprouts that pass through your intestines. Yeah, full of arprs. And when you get there, David will be out the window just filling it right up to the topopop popop The noise it's gotta be that noise as well. L elt on Alice and now we find ourselves almost berefted of quizzes. ' the turnaround is so huge now we've just got normal countries and Peter Mons. Hopefully they will last forever. because imagine having no quizzes. Hey, David, what time did you wake up yesterday? Yesterday I woke up seven thirty with the sound of the helelicopter's alarm David, we've noticed in many of your previous yesterdays, you've been waking too early due to some hip pain and too much light coming in. Well, let me tell you listeners, I have sorted both of those things. What are you doing with the hips because my hips are sore. I've been doing my hip exercises Now I am considering getting one of those chairs. Have you ever had one of those chairs? you know the kneeling chair Yeah, I have one in my shed that I made radio and podcast on. Well they do, I don't know because they're uncomfortable. So then I just go, ah, I'll sit in the chair. Yeah. So what you need to do is strip your house of all chairs So when people come over for dinner, they have to sit on one of those stools and then they go for a wee and see the humid centipede Do you listeners know the chairs I'm talking about where you kneel? and then just kind of your lower bum is the only part covered by the cushion. You're almost sitting on your thighs. No, so that's not the one I've got. I've just got a stool with a kind of your legs can flop down So the whole point is your legs are not at ninety degrees. they're sort of flopping down. It sounds like a toile. Shooting stool, shooting stool No, a shooting stick is one of those No, no that's not what I'm talking about. That would be Id have the wrong word for it. You know you're doing well, if you're podcasting on a shooting stick. My point is ticking off pheasants inside podcast. another one. And I do believe if I did get one of those chairs I would be able to pass sprouts throughout the podcast as well. You would just hear. I'd have a little metal Part underneath me B chamber pot A stream a pot of sprouts. Okay, so we've done our hips stretch. We did the hips the night before. It's an ongoing thing, but also I got a blackout blind. Yes. I cannot recommend it enough. Now the problem is although I bought the plastic thing that it goes ono, I failed to buy the danglely sort of earrings Oh yeah next to, I just thought they would all be in the box. So instead, I've hammered it up with nails. But right it's still good because we slept with the window open behind it. For once I was knock woken by the exotic sound of, you know the Irish blackbird that sings boys boys boys Yeah like boys boys boys, but it's like What what's b remix. The Blackbird remix Looking for a good time It's Hen Copter's turn to make breakfast. News flash, we're going on holidays tomorrow. Yeah. Oh, is this the place I know you're going to the place where you may run light of Rosa, the biggest problem on earth. Listeners, do not worry. We will be podcasting from there. You will hear every single thing that happens, but we're at a point where we didn't do a big shop this week and we've just been trying to eat things. Sure, eat up the drinks. So breakfast is half a tin of mayonnaise and to my puree. Eaten out of a John West tuna Tuna in tears No, it's very blueberry heavy There's not quite enough yogurt to the su granola So you then you have to like yangang yang through the blubes to release the moisture to then make the granola not seem like sawdust. undernderood. I bravely get through it. Thank you I check my email Oh, nothing much, Max. Just a confirmation that we've got a new house. Y yes. Yes. David, what's the address and postcode I am not telling you the pose code. you'll simply put it in one of your wraps. If you'd like to come to the housewarming You have to subscribe All the subscribers are coming. You're bing that free And an invitation to David's house for the House Wivving party It' been a lot of effort and a lot. stressful in it.ressful So stressful. I mean Yeah, luckily I have a happppy go lucky vibe. You do and I hopefully don't take life too seriously. Nothing says happppy go lucky like that's not how you spell jumpers. That's what I say But yeah, the bikes. who are all just in a shed on their own. you told them. It's so sad. Yeah. The reason there was nothing to for breakfast was because I'd gone out there and given them all made eggs for them this morning. And I broke it to the bikes and we are absolutely delighted. So we are bouncing around, to be honest 's Great. I'm so pleased. Helen Copter has to do her a lot of work in order to go on holidays because she works for people and takes it very seriously and personally. So she bounces off to work Great I have a job Max, I don't know. I've never thought about this much before, but in this place where we've been recently I have broken two toilet seats Wow With sprouts. No, they are a very cheap toilet seat that are in Okay. It's like I'm used to a swivel toilet seat and I just expect that are you landing on it too firmly or are you No, I seem to be not landing on it too firmly, but at some point mid looking at my phone, I just sweep a bit to the side and two bolts that hold the toilet seat on kind of just drop I can fix these and not many things I can fix. These are cheapest ones. It's why these are beyond repair. These are the crappest kind of student place ones and I bought us two marginally fancier ones the day before So now is the time to put the toilet seats on. It's a grim job. like it is. When you take the toilet seat off, there is sort of flopsome around screws. Yeah. It's not a happy place, is it? Well even though it's your own businessiz as well. Yeah. So I elect Do it I hope this doesn't become a meme I decide the only way to do, you know when u cartels get people to weigh out the drugs into the little packets. I think they make them do it in the nude sometimes. so they can't steal any of the drugs. Right, I see. I think that's why they make them do it in the nude. I decide that this job is so awful. Right. Okay, you do it naked. Yeah, I do it naked and then I'm going jump in the shower straight afterwards. I think Pimlaco plumbers workking the same way. Whenever theyve come over They say, is there anywhere I can just take all my photes off before I fix your dishwasher. The naked plumber. That sounds like a BBC home improvement show, doesn't it? Look, it's also added to the fact that it is incredibly hot even in old Dublin town. So naked child I wear pants. I'd wear pants. is a way to go. But I'm here on my own. The only thing that could happen would be I'd still wear ps one could come. But why? have you never seen your own junk? Are you worried that if you glimpsed it, you might faint or something Come on. No, no, no, I just if I'm fixing a toilet seat I would Web I'd be fully dressed actually, like I'm not going down this path. everyvery time I fick the toilet seat in our house, I've been fully dressed No, no, no. I have a shower then, which is very close to the beautiful new toilet seat, which and I did a great job. This is rock solid. You can put it on not quite straight. we have with ours is, I probably have a bit of what you have, a bit of a swivel. enough to rip it off completely, but it does occasionally, it's a bit jaunty. you know, and you live with it being jaunty for a bit and they say, I want this toilet seat straight and then I'll straighten it. And it quite hard so get those aligned Yeah. You famously poo side saddle, like the way the quQeen used to ride a horse with both of your Like the way the quueen pooed. like exactly the same She did a YouTube explainer and I watched that So I come out of the shower then. it's so hot. I don't want to dry so I'll simply it's a nude morning This wouldn't be a regular occurrence, but I put a wash on. as we're going on holidays, I have that slightly emotional thing of breaking the news to the clothes of the ones that will be coming on holidays and the ones that won't. Right. Do you have like a long list? Yes. That's the hard one. It's telling those that think they might make the suitcase, they're not making the suitcase. It's so hard. Because it's going be warm in the South of France, I'm only taking a ten kilo carry on as well This isn't even a twenty six man squad in World Cerm. It's five t shirts. Yeah lots of pants. Correct. Tw pairs of shorts. Yeah, some socks. The socks are the tricky one because there's a lot of socks have been very good to me overver the winter over touring, but they tend to be quite thick sports sock. Right. Okay. This is just not the French thing No, but also What you need to take is like socks that have like the mentality they may not get a lot of game time. Yeah, you know. So they're good around the place They may not get on the feet at all, right for the whole trip, but they're important part of the squad. I know, but you know I'm a sentimental old goat. So in the end I'll end up bringing like a huge Patagonia thermal coat or something just because it looks that takes up most of the ten kilo suitcase. Yeah getting ready for holidays Iet better do some work now. I actually I'm now dressing similar to the sad breakfast. I've been wearing sad outfits yesterday and today of some of the guys who didn't make it squad. And then they've still got to perform. like that is you that is a real testament to them to those clothes. Yeah they know they're not A less clothes, but they're still going to perform for you today This is the professionalism of this t shirt, which is the two members of Steey Dan as Snoopy character they ain't comeon because it's gray. I suppose they might think if they really perform today, they might accidentally get put on for the flight. And then they're there. I'm the sort of manager that will tell you face to face. You know what I mean? they're not going to fin it up on the wall. I'm I'm not even going to faceetime you. I'm going to come to where you are and be like thank you for everything you've done, but I'm afraid not right now. I need keep writing jokes. It's one thing about going away for a week. The Edinurgh frringe grows closer. Y comes around fast, doesnn't it? You have to keep doing these What you could do is just tour this podcast and then you don't have to think of jokes. Oh yeah, this is your thing where you want us to tour this p Yast. I do. Yeah. I understand that when you tour with me I get some of the profits. and when you to it by yourself, Prety outrageously, I don't get anything Yeah, but imagine this though. I quite enjoy doing the stand upp. I enjoy doing this as well, but I also enjoy that. So could we imagine a world where sometimes I tour just as me and sometimes we tour as this double act? Yeah, I can see that. I don't get shitty when you and the football boys are all doing your football chats in your massive theaters Gness sake I write a song about getting punched in the face in Adelaide. That's what goes on there. I think I'll try it out tonight. Okay. It's twelve o'clock. I got to bring lunch down to M. That's what I'm going to do. Yes, G on. M as we know, got a new knee and now her back is soced and she's had an MRI on that She's waiting for the results. So that's a woman who needs a sandwich So I cycle down, get her a delicious sandwich, get myself a delicious healthy thing. I mean, this is Another hilarious part of going on holidays backax. I've decided to try and effectively get healthy in the twenty four hours before I go on holiday. Carbon offset ye. The Cfee of Duck Aose like, yeah Sorry, would you have a duck that's been drowned and roseed? That's what I'd like to eat now Cycle back from there, Hilariously think about going for a run, which is just so ridiculous to the point where think you've gone for a run since this podcast started? No, I've gone for cycles. Helen Mcks. The first New Year's day after I'd met Helen, I went for a run because she'd only know me for two months at that point. I said I'm actually going I'm going to run five K every morning for all of this year. And I even pointed out to her. see the thing is a guy like me can do the five K in like twenty two minutes. What's that? That's nothing. You know, that's as log as it takes you to get up. So I'll have a five K. I'll be back And then hilariously came back just screaming about how boring runs are. Oh Yeahah. I did it raid as well. But I get dressed up as if I'm going to go for a run then I sit down on the sofa. Yeah. So yeah, never go for a run. It's getting too close to Another episode of the What to do Yesterday podcast that areiding or I know. So I don't want to be doing that while like either panting. It was the episode where I was I literally had to run in to do it because the line bikes weren't working. Oh yeah, you needed to get a memory stick or something. I do remember that. That was early doors. I thought this gu there was the Ellis James Early Doors SD card moment and then there was another one last Yeah o Who was I sweating for? It mightight have been John Robins? I'm not sure Otherwise sweat for John Robins Have a great laugh recording a podcast. What a job, What a job we have. Then there's a slightly tense conversation, but one where you do learn, you know? It's winner leararn. That's what life is really. And it's Helen saying We should use up the rest of the food For dinner And me saying, great, I'll make something, just looking at these kind of ready steady cook three ingredients that are there. Jar of capapers. A punct a repair kit and a hat. There's a pause of the phone and Hell it says, how about I do it? Okay I immediately agree with that. Yeah, thinking I would just throw everything into a sort of a curry thing. But the chicken's frozen and there's not going to be even if I try and microwave it, it won't be quite right. You know, so she has the ability turn aroundound these pasta dishes quicker than a food on a motorbike would arrive. like real high end stuff. So you don't have to my dinner, so what are you gonna do? I work on my jokes a little bit more becausecause we are going to the airport to collect Helen's dad. You know, might as well go out there tellell him about the house. He's delighted about that U Drop them home We Collect a bag from as we're going to France Hen's brother Owensy, who was the cheese board collperator. Yeah ye He's going to France soon and he has too much luggage. so he's asked me to bring a bag. Okay, this is dangerous. I know you know him.. Did you pack this yourself? Baged up abroad here. Yeah, I haven't looked at it yet. It's under twenty kilos. That's all I know about it Very old, you know, everyone's heard, but it still makes me laugh when some old, really posh man gets to the airport and they go, Is this your bag? And he says, it is. And they say, didid you pack it yourself? And he goes, Certainly not Yes, this is twenty kilos of something in here. and I hope the phrase that's used isn't with the street value of something else. O our way back from there, we call into my brother make the terrible decision Try and hang a wall cabinet with him using incorrect tools and no spirit level. tryry and hang a kitchen cabinet, one that Crockery is going to go in using vibes. Huge mistake. so much fixing today. Yeahep, ' I'm a fixing man. So people see me coming And they think so. What can they fix And in this case, he will need to get someone to fix the holes I put in his nice wall. It's a shit job An absolute disaster. Yeah. But we have a laugh. That's fine. We go home. Now there's been a source of tension for this entire episode. You may have noticed between me and Helen, which is two weeks ago her, The helicopter believes in a very specific old phone, which is the iPhone with the button on the front which they stopped making in twenty twenty two Okay. but I found one a few weeks ago in phones phones phones in Exeter. They're not messing are they? You know what they deal with. Yeah, but they said this was basically brand new A Okay put off Moving stuff on Mving stuff onto a new phone is maybe harder than buying a new house. I thought, can you just put them together like this? and then it all just goes. You can, but then everything goes, do you see the percentage rise and it gets to ninety nine and it goes Yeah, we're pretty much there. Yeah We're pretty much there. And you're like, okay, come on. And then you're thinking, this is the moment where neither of them work and this is when the call is coming Helen is in the fin love X factor. And if she doesn't answer the phone now, she won't be able to perform for Louis Walsh. So we have the fact that it's logged her out of all the apps then that she's ever had, including her email and her work email and all of that. And then also in the background, I am watching Scotland against Brazil. Oh yeah, okay. I'm doing pretendy help. where I'm just going, ye, it's just go to settings, I'd say and then watching a bit more of this match. It remains on ninety nine percent for most of those things. and then Just at the point where like I think everyone's gone. The screen goes black and the awful hello bonjour. Yeah an ororgan comes up. we're right back where we started. However, we go to sleep with it finally connecting with itself and connect a Siri now or connect to Siri later. These questions later. I don't care. These are not the important things. I agree fell asleep then. we ended up staying up to about half one tryry however. That's what I did yesterday I'm curious though, Mac. Oh, yeah didid you? yesterday