Final Words and Eulogy

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Eligible students get a year of Microsoft three hundred sixty five premium, and a year of Xbox GamePass ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more at windows. com slash student offer. Law Supplies last ends june thirtieth, terms at aka. ms slash college PC. Well, he's cast me a couple of times as a weird dance teacher once in his film Sing too do the voice of a proboccis monkey called Klaus Kicken Clubber. . Yeah, yeah Tes tipppites. I can' see you tippites. Come on Johnny Hey there, I'm Mel Gedroich and this is the show where beloved celebrities boldly sketch out their final farewell. Welcome, ye all too. Wh It's away Today's guest is a comedian, podcast, filmmaker, and all round jinglesmith. the kind of person who can turn a rambling anecdote into a miniature epic and a quiet stroll into a full philosophical detour. You'll know his voice, his warmth, his tangents, and quite possibly his dog. And just when you thought, he couldn't get any more delightfully creative He went and dropped an album So buckle up while I go and change into something even more heavenly because it's the ad amazing B sting m m and stand still I go still Good day. Yeah I think they did a special bit of sauce on top of that for you. I actually know that you always say that Be I've watched this before lie I've said it before. I have said it before. I don't know' said it to you, but I have, you're absolutely right. You have called me out. Sorry. my friend. Come on, We're old nineties channel four Veteran survivors. thirty six years in the fucking sha business Are you thirty six as well? or is it thirty seven? I'm gonna to say thirty seven for myself. No, more like thirty for me and Joe Cornish. That was just thirty ninety. nineteen ninety six Yeah, it's our thirty year anniversary Prior to that you must have been warming up. Oh yeah, I suppose we were chipping away at the that's what I'm talking about. Joey end of the cold face. Yeah in ninety two. Noew no, ninety five was my absolute TV debut, I think on takeover TV Now I'm going to ask you a question about the naueen nineties or even the naughty nineties. question about the ninetughteen nineties. Do you remember, Adam, doing a photo shoot You? and Cornish Yeah Perkins and Gedroichch. Yeah remember? A a channel for laaunch talent thing or I don't know what the hell it was, but it was I very much remember you there. I still have the photo. We were the new Than was probably wandering around somewhere pointing and Talking in an incredibly animated way Do you remember what they made us do though? The four of us I suddenly remembered on the way in this morning. It's very nineties got on a trampoline in the four of us. No. glad he did. Wow, I've blocked that out completely. bloody did and it was It's quite a small space for four people Yeah trampoline and it was it was a big orx and it was lovely I we all got on and stuff, but It remember if we did a sort of two hander bounce So like Yeah, right, like hold hands and then everyone goes at the same time. Yeah. Do that what you mean? or like Or you and Joe and Joe go up and we go down gong, they gong like a sort seesaw. Yeah. That's like all careers Very much so still here though in Hanging on in a way. Can I also say Aood you good to see the Bxton legs on though. Well, I was recording a thing the other day with visuals. U. Yeah. and Um And they said it was like from the control room. Can you sink lower in your seat, we can see your legs? Dare they? I was like what the f is going on? That is very offensive, especially for a man. offensive. You know, it's like Okay, women put up with that shit, but that's their problem. Us men aren't supposed to put up with that kind of Abusive objectifying behaviour. But were you in shorts or were you in trousers? No, I was like this So it was shorts. It was shorts. Yeah. they could just see the legs and they just thought se year old man legs, No thanks. you've got a cracking pair of legs if that's allowed to be said these days. Yeah yeah. They're allowed to compliment each other. We're in a safe space. They are maxed. abbsolutely like did you see Louis's inside the manosphere thing? know I haven't seen it yet. That's good. Yeah. but there's a guy in there HS Tikki Tky is otherwise absolutely ripped. but The only problem with him was his cves weren't as sculpted as they could have been and Louis mentioned it and he was very he got very defensive anyway, that wouldn't be an issue with me. My cves Y calves are. Can I just say I really like my calves? Yeah. and I like yours as well.. My calves I've inherited from my Lithuanian grandmother who pretty much walked the whole of Siberia And she had a sturdy pair of calves. Love a good calf. They I mean, they're yeah, they're lovely. They're pretty top quality.s of turning me on And vice versa? Yeah, okay. It's getting in the air. This is so off far like this It's the next frontier, ten years and they will be fucking on podcasts. Do you know that First it's they bring in TV and then the next Yes. Frontier is jagging And they shagged in the pool in Big Brother, am I right? Was that the first proper Was it? or was it one before? I mean, it happened in Europe somewhere, I think early on in the life of the Big Brother franchise. Yeah. Sooner or later, that's what the arc of history bends to pornography. F full on shaggary, but not today. Okay notot today And another the same name Talking of shorts I'm wearing shorts. Thank you because we're gonna be talking about that a lot more. Adam's got an amazing album out, viewers and listeners. Wow, I didn't even think we would be mentioning the album. Oh at this point. Oh, we're gonna talk solidly about that. Okay. I did a really sad thing then. I wanted to do that and I missed my nose. whichich is stupid. for Hitler. the slight hitties. so we we won't do that again. But we are going come back after we talk to some corporations Coming up soon He didn't get it. He didn't get it now. he just he would say It goes over my head And then sometimes he would say retty rubbishy stuffed It's what he said once. Rubber shield It's pretty rubber shield. H, Charlie, I've just popped from what feels like an eternity of admin. Classic. What's on the to do list? Oh, mounting a celestial bookshelf, sorting my earthly storage unit and emotionally processing a flat pack. M, it sounds like you need Task rabbit. Task Rbbit Is that a celestial creature? Even better. It's an app that connects you with skilled local taskers who can help with everything from furniture assembly and home repairs to moving and garden jobs. So someone else can bravely face the Allen Ky. Exactly. You choose your tasker based on their rates, availability, skills and reviews, so you know who's coming and what they can do Well, listeners, get ahead of your to do list. Get ahead of your to do list with ten pounds off your first task at taskrabbit. co. uk or on the Taskrabbit app using promo code WTaW. Taskers across the UK book up fast, especially for same day tasks. Get ten pounds off your first task right now with prromo code WTAW at Task Rbit. code. Uk or with the Task Grabbit app TaskRrabbit. cood UK code WT AW Terms and conditions apply. Task Grabbit. less doom, more dum M Charlie, I've been thinking, right? When I joined this podcast it was already, obviously a glorious chaotic death soaked machine But you, you guys had to put together the bones of the show as to were with all the what ifs. Oh Mal, the what ifs can almost bury you. And yet you made the leap and thank the spectral gods you did because it turned out to be one of the best decisions of your own dead little lives, am I right? Yep, but I'll tell you what, everything feels better when you're part of a team people around you who know what they're doing. and that team feeling can be achieved at Shopify. Yes, Shopify. The commerce platform behind millions of businesses from giants like Deathwish Coffee and Gyms Shark People kind of just starting out with a dream and a dodgy microphone. And imagine having hundreds of ready to use templates to build a beautiful online shop. pllus the AI tools. Shopify can write product descriptions, page headlines, even enhance your product photos. And o baby the marketing. Shopify helps you get the word out with email campaigns and social posts all in one place No more, whichich tab is the one making the noise? And if you get stuck, their award winning, award winning twenty forty seven support is always there. So Deathlings, it's time to turn those what ifs into With Shopify today. Sign up for your one pound per month trial at shhopify d. co d. uk slash wake. Go to shhopify. co d. uk slash wake. That's shhopify d. co. uk slash wake Aoney So why? oh why, should they be opened for you I mean, I would not complain if they weren't, I would think fair enough pretty mediocre Really? Yeah, I'm like an old It's a nice way of putting it I don't know. I'm just sort of fairly selfish U sort of little bit underhand sly and underhand I was described as by my teachers when I was at school. One teacher In the report Yeah come down. Aged ten or something? Sly and under. He can be he can be sly and underhand My dad read it and he was like, ye Really? Condemning. It's not good, is it Sly and underhand. I thought it'd be class clown. I also got arrogant Within a very short space of time, it was sly, underhand, arrogant. actually ay You don't stke me as any of those. Well, I can be, probably. Maybe not arrogant, I don't think. No. I had to look up arrogant when I was called arrogant. I was like Uh Really? And I was thinking like it wouldn't have been on that though, Adam. It would have been Yeah. in your encyclopathy. Absolutely I had to go to the library. Yeah Look it up figure out how it was spll And I didn't think that was fair really What's your definition of arrogance Smugins andm Narcissist a bit U wants to be the loudest voice in the room? Actually, maybe it was accurate more or less u I don't think you're arrogant. But also I mean, as selfish as I can be, I also be empathetic and I do think about You've done good stuff though, man. You've entertained people, Is that enough? Probably not B to know. What's the best thing you've ever done for someone? Oh man U I've done some good Gifts like homemade gifts I spent a lot of time when I was younger making CD's for people. That's That's hard. And it took ages and I really like I did them on ProTools back when I used to use P tools audio the time. takes ages They were all like mixed. It was a big mega mix. Tk me ages to figure out how to break the recordings up into little chapter points so you could skip from one track to another on the mega mix. I did the artwork to print it all out. and so a lot of people I know and friends of mine have somewhere, maybe if they've kept them. Burned CD's. A homemade CD from Buckles and actually the other day bumped into someone. and he said Uh Oh yeah, was I was listening I found the ambient CD you made me of Brianino music And I was so pleased to find it and I spent ages listening to it to get me to sleep and it still works. So Listening on a CD man probably Yeah, maybe a discman. Yeah. Discman. Discman. He might have burned it Made an MP three of it and then party time. Oh super. I think that's really selfless and lovely. How many did you make of those, dockon? I mean, we're talking hundreds Kidding. You're going through man Those gates will be open After this has occurred coming up soon. But I was thinking like You should be I'm pleased that one of my old nuts isn't popping out. Yeah. Good sleep is everything. That's why Oie's science backack support is made with a blend of melatonin and Lianine for both kiddles and grownups So when your mind won't switch off, you've got something that can help. E racing thoughts and restless nights won't stand a chance Find Ollie sleep solutions for the whole family at Ollie. com That's O L LY d. com Uncovered windows can make your home feel up to twenty degrees hotter. Stay cool and save up to forty five percent off custom window treatments during the fourth of July VIP access sale at blinds. com. From outdoor shades to room darkening blinds, finding the perfect fit is easy. Get free samples, expert design help, and professional measure and install services, or DIY it with confidence and support every step of the way Shop up to forty five percent off sitewide right now during the fourourth of July VIP access sale at blinds. com Th think about death inccreasingly as I get older I think I'm going through a phase of thinking about it less. How are you? Yeah, because my parents died all does happen. I know I'm sorry. That's okay. And so around then as anyone who has had that kind of bereavement or any kind of bereavement ose nose It is like a bomb going off, especially with the old parents, even if they're old and even if it's not a total surprise, but it was kind of a surprise with my mum It is a bomb going off that sends ripples for ages and ages. and for me, there was a long period of just feeling really bleak and sad. Yeah, J sad. And feeling like the fun's over. you know what I mean? Yes I totally get what you mean. Yeah, it's like funun times are over. They' more fun Like kind of fun sometimes,, but never as rich and never as never like it was before. But The good news is that feeling goes and it is quite amazing when it lifts and you don't obviously notice it from one day to the next, but sometimes you can have a period where you're like Oh actually, I've felt quite a lot better for the last few weeks Hm. hope it lasts Yeah. And then it kind of does. That's not to say everything's always great forever, always. Yeah. St still got your other shit being flung at you by stupid old bastard father time Yeah. But It does get much easier and the brightness kind of comes back the colors. Yeah Yeah. How did we get into this? Oh yeah, death. Yeah So I was saying that going through a period now of really feeling very y and lucky in various ways. I' so pleased to hear that. It's lovely. Well'll celebrate when happens, right? Jesus then And so because of that, I'm not really thinking about the old I look forward to my next phase of really immersing. immersing and thinking about it the whole time I don't know about you. Were your momum and dad big fans of what you did? Did they enjoy, you know? the stuff that you created. Mum did, even though a lot of it was a bit much for. But she loved it. But she liked the stuff she saw. Her favorite thing was a video I was in for a band called The Wannaes And it was directed by my friend Garth Jennings, great music video director and he passast me as a kind of weird Dance. Well, he's casted me a couple of times as a weird dance teacher, onnce in his film Sing too. where I do the voice of a proboscis monkey called Klaus Kick and Clubber. You. Yeah, yeah Pitles, tipitles. I cant see you tipppitles. Come on Johny. That's me. I did not know that Yeah And then I was in the oneanna dies video, I was sort of the same sort of person with long wig. and I was on stilts but I was topless except for a little waistcoat So you could see my big belly bulging at my big hairy belly bulging over my skin type trousers that I was wearing and my m tits popping over the side of my waistcoat and my mum just endnded herself watching that. She She loved it. That was the funniest thing ever. Look at your Hery Tommy I don't know why she was like, you might think that she might be embarrassed by her. loved it. H humiliating herself in that way, but she thought it was terrific. I was on this podcast and they were telling me to get my legs out of the shot because they thought it was so grotesque to see middle aged man legs But I was thinking, like You should be I'm pleased that one of my old nuts isn't popping out. Yeah. 'ause that's what happens a lot at a certain point. Dhould you ever see one of your dad's old nuts pop out of his shorts? Do you know, he had a fairly brief set of tennis shorts. I definitely we definitely would have known if that had happened and I don't remember us laughing about it because we would have absolutely had. No, you don't laugh It's herrific It's one of the worst things So you sort you saw one Yeah, I've got it on video actually. Oh, and what was happening? Did he put his leg up somewhere? No. He was on a short camping stool. Danger and he was man spreading in the south of France on a beautiful hot day. So both nuts came out or just one. No, just one. justust one Although I'm sure both could have done probably. Once you're at that point, you've got enough elasticity to do more or less whatever you want, you can do impressions with them. Do you remember puppetry of the penis? saw it twoo years ago still doing. saw it way too late. saw it way too late because it was a big show in Edinburgh Dathlings, if you haven't seen it was on at the Edinburgh Festival and it toured magnificently. and it was basically a big old scrotum slash Penis formed into many different hilarious characters. Why did you say you saw it too late? Be you should have seen it in the naughty nineties. That's when everyone was going on about it I'm presuming that the scrotum was a lot lower When I saw it because I saw it in twenty twenty four So I'm imagining he had a lot more It wasn't just one guy who did it It was a load of guys to be fair. Loads. Yeah. There was because I remember you remember little You played Joe in neighbours? I do. He did it His son did it. Oh his son did it. Yeah, yeah And yes, his son did it I think the older you get though, it's more elastic and you can probably there express a lot more. That's what I felt with that old That's what I felt. That flash. Yeah And actually, I mean, is this nice on the side? Yeah like that U I thought it was fun Sure. did it feel weird in the time we're at now in society where we're thinking more about whether it's cool to show you. Jennies It did a bit actually. It felt a bit sad and a bit weird. And at the time that I saw it two years ago There was a mini heat wave going on in Edinburgh. So you know what those Edinburgh venues are like, just tiny boxes with no airc. So we were all just like that. Wing an old sccrotum being manipulated, it was a bit bit weird if' honest. Yeah. But do you find since your parents have died that you now do stuff that is more daring because you're not worried about what they might think orr did that never feature? I don't think I ever was restrained. If anything, I was probably out more like, you know, back in the day to get a reaction from you. Yeah, I was probably going through the motions of like, is this edgy? Is this edgy? Is this the kind of thing I'm supposed to do You know what I mean? Probably more than I do now But u Dad however, more or less D didnn't like anything I did He was very loyal and he definitely loved me, so he would always helpel out and he was on our TV show and you know, he was veryer loyal in that way, but He didn't get it. He didn't get it now. he just he would say It goes over my head, I'm afraid And then sometimes he would say P Pretty rubbishy stuff It's what he said once. Rubbishy. It's pretty rubbishy on the whole Well, I never even told you how I was gonna die. How did you die guess it was Church fell on my head Wow. Wow. I was sort of thinking I was thinking, what would be a poetic way for me to go out as far as The internet is aware like Most people don't know about the many amazing things I've done, if they have heard of me in the wider world because the church fell on my head in hot fuzz and So I would of course It would be very poetic, I think and kind of good and quick as long as it didn't like take half my face off as a ye. As long as it was exactly the way it was in hot fuzz, it just goes right through my skull. And it's immediate. Then that would be pretty good.. I wouldn't mind that Norman Church, Saxon Church Torian Anything pointy doesn't matter as long as it's pointy. goodood and pointy. A proper ire Yeah ye great. Because the genius of that scene from Edgar's movie was that it then embeds itself in the torso and I stagger around for a little bit with the church poking out. Yeah. it's good. if you have look Viewers and listeners, if you haven't seen it yet, can't believe you haven'ten it. C course, you' bloody seen it. It's on every two days. Exactly. It's so good. It's so good So what are we thinking? What's happening at the funeral Oh, funeral Again, this is, I mean, obviously My wife is one of my biggest heroes and she has been responsible for so many great times When the children were younger She really knew how to make things enjoyable and she would definitely put the fun in funeral. She would not want a sad occasion. Yeah. She's going to hire a bouncy castle I mean brilliant. She has done for every other occasion we've celebrated in the last twenty years. And the people who hire the bouncy castles near us, Darham castles Um, said You know, you could just buy one for all like you definitely spent way more money hiring them than they actually cost. How much do they cost How much they cost? I mean, they can't be more than eight hundred. But I think you don't get them because the upkeep Yeah is a lot. And then if you go through a couple of years where they're just in the shed and you haven't used it, the next time you get it out, it's going to be absolutely nightmarish kinds of dead things in it. I' also imagining it, I can't stop thinking now about poetry of the penis, which we were discussing earer. You're thinking of all the things that have been smeared against the wall. I'm just thinking of a sort of big P flacid. Sure. thing knocking about your garage. Come on, J on? Yeah, welcome to B life. that you don't, I don't know, that you don't necessarily want. But I love the idea of one at a funeral. I think that's really, really good So I think it would be fun. Is that going to mean that your guests are gonna have to wear shorts and t shirts Oh I think they can wear what they like. That's one of the things is like no dress code. Yeah. I mean, I get dress codes and I get dressing up appropriately and I do find myself sometimes thinking about P it dressing. You do and can I just say your album, which is brilliant if you haven't yet heard it, buckle up Absolute. ruddy treat and it's one you'll go back to again and again and chuckle and just love and it's also really good music in short I mean, even I can't agree with all of Intimate still carry on. In shorts, which is one of the tracks on Buckle up. You talk about exactly that. Yes. Wearing shorts at a wedding Shorts at the funeral, how do we feel? I think that's okay, is't it? I just think, wear fucking shorts. We've only got one go around. You may as well be comfortable. Yeah. There's enough things to You know, you All you need to do is act formal, right? Like Yeah you can act respectful and act formal and you can still be comfortable. It doesn't all have to be about wearing uncomfortable shoes and itchy trousers and All that stuff is like Yeah. I didn't like any of that when I was younger and I had to go to church and do all of that. Itchy trousers is the worst. Oh man Itchy, pinul, That was mine Yeah and itchy tights. justust horrid. It's pure torture. Yeah One of the great things about being an adult is not having to do any of that really. except The few times I've done acting jobs, suddenly you're reminded like, o yeah, I remember this and you have to A Go and get costumes fitted and spend an afternoon being measured and dressing up in loads of uncomfortable stuff, nightmare. and then B actually wear the stuff under hot lights and look natural. And try and look natural. I did a film called one of the three films that I have U Stardust and I was one of the ghosts appear throughout that film along with David Walliams and Everet. Ere Everet's fun. Mark strong. Oh good. Julian Ryan Tut is a good cast. anyway We had I had an arison Arogant Yeah arrogant Name dropper had I had like a fake ax in my head Nice. You know, like a yes, a comedy one. So dunk dunk. Yeah. one side in, one side out, right Yeah. And a sort of strap over the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah becausecause this was like a movie, they wanted it to look really real. So it was more or less real Obviously it didn't go through my skull It was metal and the handle was like heavy wood and the whole day it was just digging into my temples, it was agony. Horrendous. I had to walk around like this just just supporting the weight of it.ere were you totally excuse the pun the hatch it faced, where you absolutely No, I mean, I was still excited to be in a movie and surrounded by cool people and it was still fun, but it was painful then and also the actually know, the costume itself was not too bad. Itchy beard though I had to wear before I had a beard, I had to wear a fake one That was uncomfortable and it was hot when we were shooting and also I was thinking like, How' they like Taxes? Do that look real? that are really light? I think they could now probably. I'm sure they could then. Yeah they just didn't light me fair enough I think the director, Matthew Vugh definitely didn't like me So he may have been torturing me. but as if that wasn't enough, then they strap you in the U harness to because we had to fly for a bit. Pred Yeah. Have you ever been streted? I've done I've done harness work Yeah. It's interesting, isn't it? That is F for the first F for the first thirty seconds and then I didn't think it was fun for any seconds Because they strap you in. cuts your bloody bloods. Yeah, yeah yeah And you're like, ow, o And then they go, okay. now breathe in. I was like, there's more. They're like yeah yeah, breathe Freeze light in and then y, yeah, ye, you like out. It really hurts and they're like, okay, a little bit more. And it's agony. So you're sort of thinking, I can't really breathe. I think my ribs are going to break.. My nuts are probably bleeding at this point And this is a nightmare And I said like, Are you sure this is right? Because it really feels like something bad's happening? And they're like, no, no, No That's fine.'ine fine. And then they hoist you up and then you're just dangling. They forget about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They bloody, you're like a piece of ham in a shop window in Palmmer, aren't you? You're just strung up Nobodyives a flying toss about you. Let me tell you, darlings, the world of the actor is very, very hard indeed. It really is. We suffer for our art. I don't want to do any more of that. Even if Spielberg came calling and Really? Yeah. There lot, you know, like if he wanted me to do something fun, yeah, great. but if he said any No, but if he said if he said Adam You're going to give you a little pee of a cameo, or maybe more than a cameo. but you're going to be in the most uncomfortable costume you've ever worn. Half, Stephven. We'res here I'd say genuine, I wouldn' you seem to be great. Lost her And I'm not getting strapped in for it. I would strap in for Sthven. I wouldn't say you used to be great, but you've lost it. That's not. 's that's a bit underhand yet. and No, I'd do it. I'd absolutely bloody do it. I'd say get in harness, strap it Yeah I think I would. Good luck you. I think I would. Now, moving on a pace. Adam Buxton What are we going go for? Are we going very mazes You've been killed by the church, you've been impaled by the church Does that mean burialable cremation? I think you may as well cremate me at that point. There's not much left. Just set fire to the spire. Yeah yeah. Surn him, burn him Banan. If he had been buried. what would you have written on your well, not you. what would the stoneemason have engraved on your gravestone I mean, I can still have a gravestone if I get cremated, right Yeah of course account. Yeah. actuallyually I asked I do know AI. AI. Uh, yeah, I Um, I if could recommend some things for gravestone of Adam Buxton And it was another reminder that at this point, I is a bit shit? And also a sobering reminder of like what The internet thinks of you, you know what I mean? Like what basically your life means to the information world if it's boiled down So this these are the things that AI thought it would be appropriate to put on my gravestone, Adam Buxton's gravestone. he came, he saw he rambled Um, No more plugging the new series. Oh ye, exactly. that's like fuck off AI That's a bit tut. AI. t AI Joe, I told you I'd go first. doesn't really matter.. I didn't say anything like that to Joe. It's just like, Oh I mention Joe. Cver me cancel the Patreon. I don't have a patreon Currently, we are hoping that we might have one towards the end of the year. Anyway, whatever. what I would actually have on my Graveestone. maybe it's not that different. Probably have like and subscribe or more accurately ree stars Cing up soon. He just leaned across it hold my hand. say this is amazing. but he just lean across and pushed the book out of my hand. Great . Yeah not G . Oh, that's brilliant This summer, Prime videoide takes you back before legally blonde, before law school, and into the world of Elle Woods in high school. Set in nineteen ninety five, this Gemini vegetarian knows exactly who she is until her family moves from Belair to Seattle. Packed with iconic fashion, nineties nostalgia, and a throwback soundtrack, Elle proves one thing Law school was hard. High school was harder. From the world of legally blonde, watch Al, a new original series only on Prime videoide july first This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of Doom scrolling? Smart move Another smart move Getting help from one of State Farm's nineteen thousand local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto Bundling, J another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state Yeah day after the funeral Yeah. My son's DJing. there's a lot of music Children are quite musical, so we had one of the happiest days I've had in recent memory just a few weeks ago, sitting around on a sunny day playing some wind issues. No, go for it Sided, Upper or lower Oh, Med. Med I just recklessly drank water there and thinking about the consequences Analysis has happened. No Oh it's there. It wants to come out It's just waiting We'll deal with it later Um, We were sitting around, it was my birthday actually. and I sat around We were learearning to play Harvest Moon by Neil Young. And Oh my Godd, I was so happy. It was just like three hours we just playing it over and over again. tryry to get the harmonies right. Harvest Moon Three of you or four of you. We were just doing two of doing vocals, but it's probably a three part harmy out guess, isn't it? I think it might, I don't know Oh so fun So there would be that, I think. Obviously I wouldn't be there which would be sad, but I know That's my idea of like on is people getting around playing music and Like I'm not musical. I can't really play instruments I can pick out notes on a midDI keyboard. Hang on, you've got a ruddy album out. I know. I got a ruddy musician to make it for me. Yeah, but you know, you're singing, You're singing over the top of it. You've written those amazing lyrics. After fashion. I do play some music on the record. like there is I've got some entry level music interests. compared to my musician friends, not really. Exo Henge, can I just say? What's that? EXO henge. What is exXO henge? Is that the last track on the u on the album EXOHenge What is EXO henge Last track on the album is the last track on the album. Dimensions of Super King Why do I think it's called EXoHenge? That's so. The really sort of the really floor fillery U It kind of it reminded me of Tick a Brain to another dimension. Tk a Brain to another dimension. Im sure this is my album I've listened to your album and it you've been. That's why you were getting so effusive before. You've just been listening to a different better album. Oh, G my thumb. Pizza time. Yes. Shorts Maybe that was something that came from another album that sort of stuck it snuck in at the end or something Yeah Let's ask me about it because it does sound rather different L, were you listening on streaming? Spotify. Okay, so I think you gotify You probably got recommended something at the end of it that was by someone else. If you just carry on listening it just suggests stuff that you might like because I was going say Who, this album suddenly got really good. No no, I was gonna to say Adam, that one at the end is really Very different I'm such a complete XO. That sounds like aX twin or something XO henge. I like the tracks on your album Buckle up. It's out now There's a real sort variety of music there. You've got your real sort hoown country, which I love. You've got your very electronic and quite sort of you know, Qiite eighties pomers, you know, all that stuff, which is just A joy Do you just like muck around with your kids or with your co labs Yeah No, it's very much a tonal smorgs board that one. Yeah because I suppose that's my place is doing paradies of stuff and sort of ating things and having things come out of that. But my collaborator was a guy called Jo Mount who has a band called Metronomy So he is a multi instrumental genius. So I would play him demos. Some of my stuff is on the record more or less unchanged But um For the more song songs, he would kind of replay everything. And when you go out and do gigs Do you have like live instruments on stage? Yeah. You do. brilliant I even play guitar on a couple of things. Oh. And I keep saying to them like Maybe I shouldn't play guitar in the life thing because You know, I'm really, really and I'm not being modest like someomeone who's just picked up the guitar and has had their first lesson And that's what I'm like on stage. You know, It's all right, Mbe youand did it? It's fine. Sure. loose of people have done it. How you ever Do you sing on stage I like singing. Yeah. ye Have you done musical or something Right? I do like singing on stage. I find it really terrifying Yeah But I love that kind of It really is terrifying playing live shows, music shows, you know, because my experience with playing the guitar to the point that I have has been just sitting at home in my nutty room like notot even standing up, like cradling it and playing the chords like that and sort of that sounds okay. But then suddenly you're standing up and you're in front of an audience and you have to play and sing And sing, you see, that is mental. You can't look at the chords, which I really want to do. Oh there's the D. How do I do the D? Be you have have to be singing And it's terrifying. And I, you know what a buzz day What a buzz. inccredible buzz Now u Good. I'm imagining Being a wordsmith as you are, among all the other things and You'd have a few things to say Jon leave him with a zinger O not. Can I ask if you ever saw anyone expire and did they say any worthwhile last things The last The thing my dad ever said to me on this earth was goo, just go Oh wow gone down and it was around Christmas time and it was a week before he died. and I whipped out some carol sheets. So said for crying out loud. Yeah. And I just thought dad's going to love he's a bit low. We knew he wasn't feeling well, but he's going to love this We got on to our fifth carol Gold res you, mriry, gentlem D done a bit of harmonizing between the four of us And those are the last words he ever said to. Oh bless him. So Good So good actually on the point of expiring I've seen two people go or three people go They usually don't have the wherewithal Nothing, notothing fruity. You've got you've probably got the morphine drip going and ye the driver. There's not too much chatting. Yeah and there's not too much sparkling wit ling around the ro. Yeah Yeah. So I guess generally maybe what people mean by famous last words a lot of the time 's just sort of something they said towards the end. Yeah, I mean, right rather than just like blah blah blah blah blah Yeah So my dad had a similar one where he was I was reading to him from one of the Oh Godd, Patrick O'Brien books, the kind of nautical fiction Um You know, he did master and commander and all that. Yeah which my dad loved all that stuff And I thought this is pretty good moment here with the son reading to the dad like versal of roles. deeep stuff. Commander giving over to Master. Yeah. And I was really, you know, I've read a few audio books in my time and I was like, here we go. this is going to be audiobook performance of my life. But there was a lot of like naval jargon in there and a lot of names that I had never seen before, like what the protagonist is called Maturin. I kept on pronouncing it maturing. And after a while, he just leaned across I was like, always gonna to like hold my hand and say, this is amazing. But he just leaned across and pushed the book out of my hand. G Dog shit . Oh, that's brilliant. But I would say my last words to keep it on brand. Probably I love you by With an extended. Bye B And that's good because then take people to my book That's good. This is called I love You Bye. Oh, that's very good. And it keeps everything nice and R Randy. You know So I say I love you byye, and then the church goes through my head and then we're covering off like o my go. franchises. ye. Yeah. So something like that Or u no, I think I love you by. I love you by. I'm aiming for. Look, your own words, fair enough, somebody else's Gem. We do love a eulogy on this show. You know, and it's nice to have your ass blown up a bit was spok It's lovely to have a firework inserted into your anus and you know what I mean?ure. And Adam, this is literally fresh Fresh out of the system. My eulogy has just arrived from one of my best friends, Garth Jennings Director of Sing T, who I mentioned before, cast me as Klaus Kicken Klber and he has come through with a eulogy. I haven't heard this. This is real It's fresh off the ruddy press. know what he's gonna to say about me. Will it be good? Come on. Will it be scathing Well, he's dead. Adam's dead. Adam Buxton has died. whichich is a shock to all of us because You know, we never thought We certainly didn't think it would happen before David A and Ba, that's life, isn't it? That's Amazing, but at least he died doing what he loved What he loved most and that of course was cross country skiing And and You know, when I'm thinking of ad I always think of something my wife once said, Miss True she actually said this to me. It was regarding a marriage and she said, it regards marriage. If you're not funny, you're fucked And I think, although that's crude of my wife in terms of her choice of words is true and also applies to friendship. U If you're not funny, Anyway, you know the rest of it. But and I don't know anyone funnier and I've never known anyone funnier than Adam. Horatio Buxton, he is He was sorry, because he's dead now of course A so funny, he made me laugh um at some points where I nearly threw up. I've been set outside pubs I've sat I've sat all I've been all over the world with that. I've ridden bikes through the south of France. I've been all over the place, B been around the world in III. I can't find my baby. He's gone all sincere. He's gone But it's lovely though. It's beautiful, Garth. thank you so much. I think he thinks I have actually died. And he was getting qu he was getting quite invested there, wasn't he? But he said you almost made him throw up. You were so funny I don't know what his wife and children are going to do with all that stuff in the barn. There's way too much hoarding there Let's face it, we all know he was a bit crazy when it came to organizing his stuff and not throwing things away but let's all burn it together. Let's burn everything of his He's gone now so we don't have to worry about it But Adam There's a giant Bxton shaped hole. in my life now And it will never be filled by anyone else again And I will just be comforted by the old podcasts I'll miss you my friend Um, I love you Bye. Brand Bye That wass beautiful. That was way more sincere than I was expecting. I love the way he wants to burn your barn. Sure. I' gonna burn all my stuff. That's quite right. Viking. Yeah. purifying Yeah, suuper words gof Never met you but respect. Maybe that means I'm going to get a pion this next mayaybe me as well. Just like coming in just like with a tea tray or something going in a harness swaing around Oh est man. Now, don't look Before you go Andt can I just say it's been It has been an absolute unparalleled joy to have you on the show. Very nice to hang out It's just like do you know do you know what I mean get I literally get to see you like that. In fact the last time I saw you was at a funeral Oh yes, that's right Which ties this up very nicely Yeah Just a f It was a beautiful funeral. It was lovely You know what, I feel emotional I was just thinking about it It was lovely. It's been lovely actually to sit down with your good self For an hour or so. Yes. Well you love it, mate There's some sincere moments in there amongst the idle Hence virginal and vaginal Within the first minute, it's quite a lot of flap chat There was flap jack, flap chat. Now, what I'm going to ask you to do, please, this determines basically where you're going to end up. Okay ye Its nothing to do with what you've done on earth and what good deeds you've done. It's all down to this. Mediocre mid range price props Sin Sin Please spin, madam. I'm not being rude by saying that. be lovely and buckle up Get that, stream it, drop it, buy it, whatever you do these days what I do want people to listen to. Yes, suuccess pod Success point. A new series on Audible which is a six part comedy series romping through the world of podcasting Cheeky laughs in the process Success Pod on Audible. You heard it If you haven't you're missing out, you should Quite bad news for you, Adam. Oh no, what's happened? He Hell I knew it Possibly a damp kerchief might help you on your journey to hell. Keep you cool. Now I deserve it No, I don't think you do. I really don't think you do. You're not married to me Actually, that sounds sinister. I don't think I'm you'd have to ask my wife, but I don't think she thinks I. There was a pause there. I was I was just thinking Oh God, what are we going to find out in? papers about The truth of Adam Buxtson's hellish coercive relationship with his wife No, listen, you've been married a long time. A man, twenty five years. Samesies it D don't want to be too smart. I know. I know. a lot of friends going through twenty five A twenty five. Fair enough, reassessing their relationships's very difficult when the children leave and everything changes. Everything bloodly changes. But so far we're hanging on. Same. It's lovely, isn't it? It's lovelys better